Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationship:
Character:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2026-02-20
Words:
2,022
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
6
Kudos:
222
Bookmarks:
16
Hits:
1,652

sometimes, all i think about is you

Summary:

Ilya Rozanov is The Vibe magazine's "Certified Crush" of the month. Tune in to his Valentine's interview now!

Notes:

It's been literal ages since I've written and posted a fic, though I'm using that word very loosely here. Basically, this blurb was a 2-3 hour project I wrote on my phone as something I could post for my OCSN portrayal of Ilya (@rozanovi). It's Valentine's Day themed, but I only thought of the idea a few days after, which is why it wasn't posted before. Oops! Anyway.

The Vibe is a magazine whose audience is mostly teen girls / young adult women, and they do a profile on a different celebrity each month. For February, the fans voted Ilya Rozanov as their "Certified Crush."

(Also — small disclaimer that all of my information on Russian culture came from Reddit and the internet in general, so apologies for any inaccuracies. I tried my best.)

Enjoy!

Work Text:

[The video opens with a shot of Ilya Rozanov in front of a reddish-pink backdrop dotted with hearts. He seated in a red director's chair, dressed in a well-fitting black tank top, slacks, and his favorite worn leather jacket. His gold crucifix chain rests in the center of his chest.]

[He looks into the camera and gives it a polite yet flirtatious smile, waving to the viewer.]

Ilya Rozanov: “Hello, I am Ilya Rozanov, captain of Boston Raiders hockey team, and this is The Vibe's ‘Certified Crush.’”

[The video cuts to a sweep of the magazine segment's title card in a bold cursive script. Then Ilya appears again, resting comfortably in his chair with his right leg crossed over his left knee.]

[Off-screen, the interviewer speaks, and their subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen.]

Interviewer: “Thanks so much for coming in today, Ilya! Since Valentine's Day is coming up, we've got some Valentine's-themed questions for you. Are you ready?”

Ilya: “Absolutely.”

[He nods, sitting up and rubbing his hands together.]

“Let's go.”

Interviewer: “First of all, are you a Valentine’s Day guy?”

Ilya: “Hmm, Valentine's Day is okay. Is nice if you have someone to share with. But also, who is waiting until Valentine's Day show love?”

[He shakes his head and points directly into the camera as it zooms in on his face.]

“If they wait only until Valentine's to show you big display of love, they do not deserve you.”

[A cartoony border of hearts appears around the frame, and a stylized text stamp that says '#Facts' appears across the lower right corner beneath his face.]

Interviewer: “Flowers or no flowers?”

Ilya: “Flowers, definitely.”

[He nods seriously, arms resting on the armrests of his chair as his hands gesture while he speaks.]

“Flowers are very important part of dating culture in Russia. We have many rules. May be old way, but I still follow.”

[He shrugs and sits forward in his seat, crossing his ankles as he clears his throat.]

“Roses and tulips are good for romance. Never carnations. Carnations are for funerals and memorials.”

[In the bottom right corner, a drawing of a carnation appears, and it's soon crossed out with a red 'X' while a buzzer sound effect plays.]

“Even numbers are also for funerals and memorials, so only give odd number of flowers. This matters less with large bouquets, but odd numbers are better always.”

[In the left lower corner, stylized bubble numbers '1, 3, 5, 7...' appear one-by-one for emphasis.]

“Single flower is very intentional. Says, ‘I picked this for you.’ Means you are focused on only them.”

[A single red rose appears in the center of the screen just below Ilya, accompanied by the words 'for you' in cursive script.]

“Red means love, pink is affection, white is being sincere, and yellow is breaking up. Black is also bad color, but who is giving black flowers?”

[He makes a face that says 'why would anyone do that' without actually saying it aloud. At the same time, a black heart is shown breaking just above his head.]

“When you give flowers to your date, you must remove plastic and wrappings, hand directly to them, and look them in the eyes.”

[He leans forward in his chair, extends his cartoon-animated bouquet of flowers, and looks directly into the camera like he's making eye contact with the viewer as the camera zooms in.]

“And then you say, ‘This is for you. I thought it might make you smile.’”

[His face is framed by sparkles, and a pink blush is scribbled across his cheeks. At the same time, he flashes the camera a smile that is both warm and slightly flirtatious.]

Interviewer: “What’s your go-to Valentine’s gift—something sentimental, something extravagant, or something practical?”

Ilya: “Ah, good question.”

[He sits back in his chair and rubs a hand along the nape of his neck as he thinks.]

“To be honest… I have not had opportunity to give Valentine's gift before.”

[He looks almost sheepish about that. But then he shrugs, and he lets his hands fall back to rest in his lap.]

“I think I would go sentimental. Holiday is about celebrating love, so something that represents what we have, I think would be good.”

Interviewer: “Do you cook for someone you care about, or are you ordering from somewhere impressive?”

Ilya: [He glances off-screen as he considers the question, then he tilts his head back and forth in thought before answering.]

“I would cook, I think. I only know how to make few things well, but if I want to make something different, I would practice before. Make sure I know how and make sure it tastes good.”

Interviewer: “What's something you know how to cook?”

Ilya: “There is Russian dish called пельмени (pelmeni) — beef or pork dumplings. Everything is made by hand, is very time consuming. Usually, is made with family. Everyone sits close, flour everywhere, everyone folding dumplings together.”

[He gestures with his hands, mimicking the motions of dumpling folding as he speaks. At the same time, an animated illustration of a line of dumplings appears beneath him.]

“But is very nice, to spend time making pelmeni together. I have my babushka's recipe, so I would make myself, but would also be nice if they want to make with me.”

[He shrugs.]

Interviewer: “What kind of date would you plan during hockey season?”

Ilya: “Hmm, during season is hard. I spend half of day working out and other half practicing when we don't have game. Game days are much harder. I think during season, would have to be going out for meal or something. Maybe if I have free afternoon, we can go to museum or show. I don't know. I think during season, I am very tired. Sometimes is nice just to stay in too.”

Interviewer: “What about during the off-season?”

Ilya: “Oh, during off-season we can do whatever the f—”

[He glances off-screen for a moment and seems to remember what he is and isn’t allowed to say. Then he return his gaze directly to the camera with a mischievous smile.]

“—whatever the heck we want. Travel is good, can travel somewhere warm and beautiful, eat good food, see sights.”

[He runs a hand through his hair before smoothing it down again.]

“I always want to go places, but mostly, I go back to Russia in summer. But maybe one day, I will spend summers… somewhere else.”

[A genuine smile seems to spread across his face, his eyes getting a dreamy and faraway look. But just as quickly, his attention returns to the camera.]

“We will see.”

Interviewer: “Are you more of a grand-gesture romantic or a quiet, private kind of partner?”

Ilya: “Private, definitely.”

[He sits forward in his chair, leaning his elbows on his knees.]

“So much of my life is so public, sometimes I just want one thing for myself, you know? The things I would do, I would do for my partner and me, no one else. And I think no one else would understand anyway. I am secretly very weird and very romantic.”

[He gives the camera a conspiratorial wink.]

Interviewer: “Are you jealous, or do you play it cool?”

Ilya: [He scrunches up his face at that, but then he laughs and shakes his head.]

“I try not to be jealous, but I am Russian. Country is cold, but blood is hot. Cannot help sometimes.”

[Animated flames border the frame, and another stylized text stamp that says 'HOT!' flashes across the screen under his face.]

Interviewer: “What’s your love language?”

Ilya: “Love language?”

Interviewer: “How do you show someone you love them? There's Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch —”

Ilya: “Oh, oh, okay, I see. Uh...”

[He tilts his head and gently scratches his temple, looking thoughtful. When he responds, he seems to be speaking from a place of reality rather than hypotheticals.]

“I do all of them, I think. But I think mostly I show by doing things. I am not very expressive with words, so I show by doing. I will cook, clean, plan, whatever. Anything to make things easier for them. I don't mind. I want to make easier. I like to take care of my partner.”

Interviewer: “What’s one small thing a partner does that completely melts you?”

Ilya: “Mmh. Touch my hair, and I am gone.”

[He lets out an exaggerated, dreamy sigh as he feigns his eyes rolling back and goes almost completely lax in his chair for emphasis. At the same time, there is a sound effect that somehow perfectly mimics the way he's melting into the chair.]

“I am so serious — I will be mush. I will be puddle on floor.”

Interviewer: “How different is ‘public Ilya’ from ‘private Ilya’?”

Ilya: “Very different, I think. ‘Ilya Rozanov, hockey player’ is all about hockey. Eat, sleep, drink, breathe hockey. But ‘Ilya Rozanov, man’ is just a guy. ‘Ilya Rozanov, man’ would love to lie in bed all day and scroll on phone or cuddle and watch movies or something. But I am rarely him during hockey season.”

Interview: “What makes you feel most loved?”

Ilya: “Knowing that they think about me.”

[He shrugs, a bit of a sheepish smile on his face.]

“It may sound silly, but is big deal to me. Life is so busy all the time. Knowing that they spend their limited time thinking of me feels... special.”

[In the corner, the word 'aww...' appears in bubbly, cursive script.]

Interviewer: “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Ilya: “Yes — sort of. I think.”

[He tilts his head back and forth as he tries to decide how to explain.]

“I think… there are people you are meant to meet. Meant to know. People who were always meant to be in your life. But… I think people have more than one soulmate. When romantic partner is one, that is what we call true love.”

[He glances off-screen for a moment, and it almost looks as though he’s getting a little lost in thought.]

“Of course, you can love someone who is not a soulmate, but they may not be yours forever… And that is okay! Maybe they were meant to be for while, not forever. Not everyone is forever soulmate...”

[He pauses, considering something. Then he shrugs, refocusing his attention.]

“l have met forever soulmates, I think.”

[In the top right corner, a pair of cartoon emoji eyes appears with a question mark, then disappears promptly.]

Interviewer: “Last question. If you could send a Valentine’s card to anyone—you don’t have to say who—what would it say?”

Ilya: [He looks very thoughtful as he rubs a hand over his jaw, gazing up and off-screen. Then he tilts his head and blows out a breath, arms crossing over his chest. As he speaks, he seems to be choosing his words very carefully, keeping things deliberately vague.]

“I think... I would say, ‘Hello, I am thinking of you. Even though we are far, you are with me, always in my thoughts. I miss you.’”

[A pause.]

“‘Happy Valentine's Day.’ Then I would sign.”

[He shrugs.]

[The screen transitions, and Ilya is sitting back in his chair, his posture much more relaxed.]

Ilya: “Thank you to The Vibe for having me. I am Ilya Rozanov, and this has been ‘Certified Crush.’ Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.”

[He gives the camera a smile and waves goodbye as the video ends.]

***

"Thank you so much for coming in today, Ilya!"

"Thank you for having me," Ilya replies. He gives the director and producer each a friendly smile and a handshake.

Then as he gathers his things and heads out of the building, he slips his cell phone out of his pocket. He has a few messages, but instead of replying to them, he calls and makes his way toward his car.

As soon as the call is picked up, he smiles, and he says, "Hi. I was just thinking about you. I am on my way home, then to airport… Da, I checked in yesterday. I will be there at 6…”