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They had met in the first year of university, officially, but had talked for years prior to that, as author and reader.
Shen Yuan, or Peerless Cucumber, had known Xiang Fei, Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, from his PIDW days.
The man soon became Shen Yuan's favorite most hated author, having written a trashy stallion novel that became Shen Yuan's immediate and longer lasting hyperfixation.
Imagine his surprise when Xiang Fei had reached out, even with Shen Yuan's most scathing critical comments, and they became friends acquaintances.
He was even more surprised to learn that they were classmates.
Quiet Xiang Fei shared Shen Yuan's literature classes in university, and took advanced writing courses. It shocked Shen Yuan to know that the man could write actually good stories, and even poetry, and still chose to write garbage.
"Bro!" Xiang Fei would cry, "It's creative freedom! I get to write awful porn and power fantasies as a critic to the genre! If you wanted genuine writing, you'd be reading my fanfics!"
And so Shen Yuan did, years into their friendship. He finally strangled Xiang Fei's AO3 handle out of him, and was surprised to see a retelling of PIDW, as a danmei out of all things. And he hates that it's much better than the original.
Shen Yuan never ever considered Mobei-Jun and Luo Binghe as a pairing while reading PIDW, but, suddenly, in Xiang Fei's fanfic, they made so much sense.
Which. This was a problem. Because for over four years, he didn't think of… of… gay thoughts.
(He refused to remember his first university party where he and Xiang Fei made out on a couch. The fact he never got drunk after that had nothing to do with it.)
But now? Having read Xiang Fei's MoBing fanfiction? Now all he could think of is them.
And worse. He kept seeing Luo Binghe in Xiang Fei. Or maybe it would be more correct to say that he saw Xiang Fei in Luo Binghe? Since he was the creator, and Shen Yuan was at least aware enough to know Xiang Fei projected a lot on his characters.
(He also refused to think of how awful Luo Binghe's childhood was in both works, and what that meant for Xiang Fei's own childhood.)
But yes. He kept noticing things. How Luo Binghe found solace in home cooked meals, how much of a good cook he was. The curly hair, the handsome boyish charm even, the easy tears. The melancholy.
What he didn't understand is why Xiang Fei made him gay in his fanfic! Certainly it couldn't mean the original Luo Binghe, and Xiang Fei himself were gay, could it?
Regardless, Shen Yuan was decidedly choosing not to think about it.
…
Except that's all he could think of.
For the past four months into their friendship acquaintanceness, Shen Yuan binge read all the thousands of hundreds words in both PIDW and its official fanfic, and he couldn't stop thinking of gay Luo Binghe.
Worse. He couldn't stop thinking of if Xiang Fei was… gay.
The thoughts completely occupied Shen Yuan's mind, to the point where he started dreaming about the man!
And, listen. Shen Yuan isn't a prude, okay? He knows that sometimes, people have certain dreams about others, and that they're beyond their control. But almost daily? In a row? Dreams that make you wake up with a wet spot? It must mean something.
And so, Shen Yuan does something very, very stupid. He does an Am-I-Gay test. And then seven more.
Out of the eight tests he did, one declared him bisexual. All the others though? Gay.
Unsatisfied, he went to reddit to explain his situation. He ignored the responses that said things along the lines of "Dude. You can't be this oblivious" and focused on the genuine advice.
Five gay panics later (a term he recently learned), he realized that maybe they were all right. Maybe… Shen Yuan was… gay.
And now, in retrospect, he can say he's… gay for Xiang Fei. As much as the thought makes him cringe.
It's just! It's not that Xiang Fei is ugly! But he's just so! Infuriating! He's a great author when he can be, but he insists on doing what the masses want! And he dresses like a slob! He's always in hoodies and oversized t-shirts with short shorts! And he eats like a small hamster!
Shen Yuan, laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, scowls.
Begrudgingly, he gets out of bed. At least it's not a flare up day. Besides, Xiang Fei is coming over today, and although the house is clean, Shen Yuan wants to buy the energy drinks that the author prefers.
He ignores the implications of that, of course.
The trip to the corner store is short, and he's back home with the drinks in a little over twenty minutes.
Now, all that's left is to wait.
Shen Yuan was tiring, Xiang Fei decided. They had been friends for well over five years now, and he still had the most insane mental gymnastics for the simplest things.
For instance, the second he arrived in his Bro's apartment, he was given a Monster, his favorite flavor too! And immediately Shen Yuan had an excuse as to why he had that particular flavor in his house, even though Xiang Fei knew Shen Yuan hated it, something about "they only had this flavor in store" that Xiang Fei knew was absolute bullshit, because Shen Yuan lived in the good part of the city, with the plethora of Monster and noodle flavors.
He sighed internally. "It's fine Bro, don't fret about it."
Hackles rised, Shen Yuan defended himself. "I'm not fretting! Anyway, shut up, let's go binge that anime we talked about."
And so they settle on Shen Yuan's very nice and expensive couch. The anime is fine, and the day has been threatening rain all morning, and it finally hits when they get to episode 6. It's also when Shen Yuan stretches his legs over Xiang Fei's lap.
And usually, he doesn't mind, but Shen Yuan keeps sending him glances, and fidgeting. And this past entire week he has been weirdly prodding him about the weirdest things! Like, if he has met anyone new (he hasn't, and Shen Yuan knows he's not that sociable) or if he's free on the weekend (he always is, that's when he has the most time to write) and even weirder, he asked if he's seeing anyone. Him! Xiang Fei!
When Shen Yuan glances at him again, Xiang Fei is done. He pauses the god damn anime and turns to his friend.
"Alright, spill it. What's wrong with you bro?" He asks, arms crossed.
Shen Yuan, not expecting the confrontation, frowns, but Xiang Fei can tell it's fake.
"Nothing's wrong with me!" Shen Yuan's voice cracks, and a perceptible flush climbs up his neck. He clears his throat. "Nothing's wrong. I don't know what you're talking about."
Sighing, Xiang Fei rolls his eyes. "Yeah, there is. You can't stop fidgeting and glancing at me. Usually, I'm the one that fidgets until you get annoyed and tell me to stop moving, or throws a pillow at me."
Shen Yuan glances to the side, hands still fidgeting, and readjusts so he sits on top of his legs. He looks down, then glances up and blushes, before looking down again.
"So…" He starts, but stops. He clears his throat, opens and closes his mouth a few times.
Xiang Fei is patient with him, if not curious.
"So, I think I'm gay." Shen Yuan spurts, and refuses to meet Xiang Fei's gaze.
This is not what he expected from his bro. Not today at least. "Yeah, I kinds figured."
That must shock his friend into his usual self, because although he's still blushing, he scowls now. "What, you don't have anything else to say?!"
"Uhh, I don't know, congrats?" He responds, confused. "Welcome to the club?"
Shen Yuan now is truly shocked. "Wh- you're gay?!?!?!?"
"Yeah???? Bro I've been gay for a while now."
"WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME." Shen Yuan shouts, suddenly angry?? Apparently???
"What, are you homophobic or something?"
"NO!!!!"
"Then what difference does it make if I'm gay or not?!"
"IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!!"
"Why?! Do you think I'm going to hit on you just because I'm gay?!"
"NO-"
"Then why do you care?! I don't have to… to… disclose my sexuality every time I meet someone!"
"I KNOW, BUT STILL IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!"
Temper rising, Xiang Fei snaps. "WHAT FOR? SO YOU COULD ACT ALL DISGUSTED AROUND ME AND KEEP YOUR DISTANCE? SO YOU COULD BE AS WEIRD AS YOU ARE NOW?!"
"NO, I WOULD NEVER-!"
"YES YOU WOULD! ITS WHO YOU ARE!" Xiang Fei stops, takes a deep breath and continues in a more normal tone. "You always act weird when anything remotely gay happens! I fell asleep on your shoulder once and you know what you did? You pushed me off and said 'Ew!' like I was contagious! And I know you don't respect me, much less like me romantically, so why the fuck does it matter now?! You've been hitting on me since we met without noticing, and even kissed me and pretended it didn't happen! I get it, okay?! You don't like me, Shen Yuan!" He ends, tears spilling from his eyes. "Even though I wish you would."
Shen Yuan's mouth is agape, face flushed.
He has never seen Xiang Fei cry genuinely like this before, maybe back when he was disowned.
Impeccable timing, as always, Shen Yuan blurts out, "Is this why your parents disowned you."
Xiang Fei stares at him, incredulously.
"Goodbye, Shen Yuan." He says, and grabs his things to leave.
Hurriedly, Shen Yuan scrambled up from the couch, tripping on his cane and being held by Xiang Fei. "That's not true!" He says.
"I- I didn't know I was flirting but… but I don't take it back! And the kiss… I haven't stopped thinking about it since the start of the year, okay? I… didn't know I liked you." His voice softens. "I'm sorry, A-Fei, I hurt you without even knowing. But I do like you."
Xiang Fei helps Shen Yuan straighten up (ha), but Shen Yuan stays clinging to him, as if afraid he would leave. If possible, he blushes and softens even more. "I like you a lot, actually…"
"You…" Xiang Fei can feel his voice wobble, his eyes water again. "You're not fucking with me, right? This isn't a joke, right? I can really have this?" Have you, goes unsaid, but understood.
Still in his arms, Shen Yuan shakes his head. For a moment, Xiang Fei is crushed. "I'm not fucking with you, I'm not joking. You can have this." I'm yours.
Hands, soft and trembling, hold Shen Yuan's face with care. He thumbs under his eye, caressing the flushed skin there.
"So are you going to kiss me or-" Shen Yuan is interrupted by the very thing he asked for.
Kissing Shen Yuan, especially after all these years of yearning, and that sloppy drunk make out session, is everything. His lips are thin, tongue clumsy and tentative. He tries biting Xiang Fei's lip lightly and fails.
Xiang Fei is completely taken with him.
Slowly, he guides Shen Yuan through a proper kiss, feeling as his friend (boyfriend?) melts in his arms. He takes a few steps back, and pulls Shen Yuan down to the couch.
With Shen Yuan now in his lap, he can let his hands roam.
They reach for his shoulders, his arms, his think waist, his hips. He pauses for a moment before grabbing his ass, and unconsciously lets out a groan.
Shen Yuan stays with his hands on Xiang Fei's shoulders, shy, but he moans when hands cup his ass.
Still, Xiang Fei doesn't want their first time to go like this, on a couch, right after they've gotten together, so he decides to end the kiss and talk. Like they should.
Shen Yuan does not like that. He follows Xiang Fei's lips, and trails kisses from them to his neck, completely frying all the neurons in Xiang Fei's brain.
Boldened, Shen Yuan drags his hands from his boyfriend's (???!!) shoulders to his chest, pawing at the fat in his stomach.
Xiang Fei blinks and then Shen Yuan is grinding on him, and, look. He is really into this whole thing, but he doesn't want their first time to be like this, on a couch, half clothed and with things left unsaid, so he pushes Shen Yuan down on the cushions, making him moan, and pulls back.
"Wait, wait, wait." He pants. "I really, really, want this, but not like this. Not on your couch, without us talking first." Xiang Fei blushes. "I… I want romance. And you deserve it too."
Shen Yuan couldn't possibly blush any more, but he does anyway, and nods, slowly at first, but clarity slowly bleeds into his eyes, and he agrees more firmly. "Yeah. Yeah we should, um, talk, and maybe wait."
He sits back, pulling Shen Yuan up and straightening his clothes.
"For now…" Xiang Fei starts, and feels his face grow warmer. He pokes one finger against the other, like a god damn shoujo character. "…Boyfriends?"
Shen Yuan huffs, and holds Xiang Fei's hands. "Yes, you hack. Boyfriends."
They smile at one another for a moment, fingers intertwined.
"Now let's go back to episode one, I was not paying attention at all."
Xiang Fei laughs, and does so.