Chapter Text
It was a sunny day in The Capital, and Jack Black was sitting back in his Ikea office chair looking over at all the districts. He sighed, and then said “Man, this day is great.” Suddenly, he heard frantic footsteps down the hall. He turned his head. “Who’s there?” A worker of his bursts into the room and breaks down the door. Jack is enraged. “What the fuck?” he yelled. “That door was four thousand dollars! You better pay it back!”
The worker dusts his suit and stands in front of Jack’s desk. “I’m sorry to say this sir, but The Capital is in debt now.” he said. “Why’s that?” “You spent almost half of the military budget and maxed out your credit card. We’re going broke.” The worker looks devastated. Meanwhile, Jack is indifferent. He says, “So, what? I spent my money on things this country needed!” The worker looks up at him, and replies “You spent half a grand on Pokémon cards. Are you serious?” “I WAS TOLD THAT IT WAS GUARANTEED THAT I’D GET A CHARIZARD, OKAY?!” The worker is infuriated, and he runs up to Jack’s desk and grabs him by the collar. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS?”
Jack scratched his beard in confusion. “What?” “YOU HAVE TO DO THE HUNGER GAMES!” “Why?” “IT’S THE ONLY WAY WE’LL GET OUT OF DEBT!” Jack pushes the worker off of him and stands up. “If that’s what I have to do, I’ll do it!” He sends the worker out of the room, and once he leaves, Jack runs out of the building and goes to the town square. He dashes towards the podium and grabs the mic, looking down at a few hundred people in the audience.
“ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY!!!” The speakers blare extremely loud feedback, the whole crowd collectively covers their ears. “WE ARE GOING TO DO THE HUNGER GAMES! NOT FOR TRADITION, BUT BECAUSE WE ARE IN DEBT! ANY VOLUNTEERS?!?!?” Nobody raises their hands. “YOU’LL WIN TWENTY BUCKS AND A GIFT CARD FOR SUBWAY IF YOU JOIN!” All of a sudden, 23 people raise their hand. Jack points at them, and yells “EVERYBODY WHO RAISED THEIR HAND, COME UP TO THE STAGE NOW!”
The first person who came to the stage is the one, the only… Galagafangirl130. She excitedly limps onto the stage and she grabs the mic to introduce herself. “HEY GUYS!!!” She’s immediately greeted with silence. She clears her throat, and continues to speak. “I’m- Galagafangirl130, but you can call me Galaga if that’s too hard to remember. Anyway,” She then falls off stage. “CRUD!” Jack stares at her, and scoffs.
The second person to walk on stage is Galaga’s girlfriend, Sailor Mercury. With big, wide eyes, she runs down to the edge of the stage, looking for Galaga. Once she finds her, she drags her back onto stage. Galaga mumbles, “Thank you Ami…” and she stands herself back up. Galaga stumbles to the mic and begins speaking again. “Alright, uh…” She points to Sailor Mercury, and she says, “That over there is Ami Mizuno. She likes reading and stuff.” “Well, that’s true.” Ami replies, while blushing. Suddenly, someone else starts walking on stage…
They’re obscured by shadows. Galaga has a decent idea of who it could be, but she’s still very nervous. Whoever’s there is walking with a cane and wearing an oversized flannel, and they’re slowly approaching the stage, with them becoming less and less hidden every moment. “RIVERS?!?” Galaga blurts out without thinking, and she quickly covers her mouth like she’s a little kid who said a bad word on accident. He finishes walking onto stage, and he looks at the crowd. Some random woman in the crowd yells out “WHO THE HELL IS THAT? I DON’T REMEMBER YOU BEING THE HOT DUDE FROM BUDDY HOLLY!!!” He yells back a retort, “LISTEN, IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR OKAY?” After the woman shuts up, he looks at Galaga and Ami and waves to them, Ami waves back cheerfully with a massive grin on her face and Galaga greets him nervously. She does not wanna fight this guy in the Hunger Games.
Now, she actually KNOWS why he’s like this now. She knows why people don’t really recognize him anymore and why he walks a bit off and with a cane. She felt guilty and bad for him anyway, and she does not want to make it worse for him, but she tries to hide it. Rivers walks over and stands next to her. After that, two girls walk on stage, a very short blue-haired girl with tiny red eyes and a tall-ish redhead from Germany. The German girl runs to the mic and shouts “I’m Asuka Langely Soryu!!” and the blue-haired girl rips her away from the mic and drags her over to the others. She looks at Ami and says “Don’t mind her, I’m Rei.” Ami nods. “I like your hair.” “Thanks, I like yours too. It’s very,” She pauses for a beat. “blue.” Ami tilts her head in confusion and a question mark appears over her head, but she takes it as a compliment.
Rivers notices the question mark and mutters “what the…” under his breath, and he looks away. Another kid walks on stage too, he looks kind of similar to Galaga, with the same haircut and fashion sense, but he’s a few inches taller and he doesn’t limp. He looks embarrassed and ashamed to be on stage. He stands next to Rei, and he starts whining. “I really don’t wanna do this, man.” Galaga suddenly gets upset and she begins ranting angrily. “You think YOU have the right to complain?” Rivers stares at the two of them conversing. “I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS GODDAMNED THING WITH A BUM-ASS LEG, YOU HAVE IT BETTER THAN I DO!” Rivers walks up to them, and interrupts, trying to settle the argument down. He thinks it could get nasty quickly.
“Now, listen, you guys. Calm down, we’ve all got our reasons for participating and we’ve all got our own issues…” Shinji flicks his head to him. “What? I can barely hear you!” Galaga gets defensive. “DON’T SAY THAT!!!” Shinji calls her a bitch under his breath and turns to Rivers. “Can you repeat that?” He nods and smiles a bit. “Uh, I said you two should calm down and stop trying to make your issues one big competition.” Shinji suddenly shuts up. Rivers kind of looks like his dad, with his beard and glasses, and he doesn’t want to make him mad, as he fears that he could be like his dad in more ways than appearance. “Sorry, sir.” He bows shyly. Rivers’ eyes widen, he wasn’t expecting this. “Listen- it’s okay. Just don’t do it again, alright?” Shinji nods quickly and he runs back to his spot in the group.
A blue-skinned girl with a shirt that says “FRANCE” on it in large print walks on stage with a confident stride and smirk. Galaga feels pure fear and panic. That’s Pepsi-Chan. Her sworn enemy who ruined her life after she caused… THE INCIDENT. Galaga wakes up in a cold sweat whenever she shows up in a dream of hers. Galaga shudders at the mere thought of Pepsi after it struck 9 PM on October 25th, 2025. Galaga looks at the floor and tries to hide herself. Pepsi-Chan walks up to her with an ego-filled “heyyyyyyyy”, like how the popular girls who bully the quiet kids in high school say it. “Leave me alone, Pepsi-Chan."
TO BE CONTINUED...
(Last Update: May 17th 2026 10:23 am)