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Yosuke had just received three of the strangest, most alarming texts from Souji.
The brunette was waiting for the silver-haired boy at their usual corner; it was rare that Souji was ever the last one there, but Yosuke figured he was probably a bit early this time. Either way, they weren’t in any danger of being late for school.
Not that being late was what was on Yosuke’s mind. No, he was focused on the text messages he’d gotten that morning, the text messages that were probably the sole reason he was here so early - because he was freaking out, and more than a little angry. He looked back down at his phone.
I’m so glad we talked last night, I was scared to tell you how I felt
But now that I know you feel the same way I’m so happy
I love you… see you soon, partner
Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Yosuke grit his teeth. Chie must have put him up to this. I’m gonna… I dunno what, ugh, but dammit! Dammit, Chie, you know this isn’t funny!
Just then he heard footsteps, and his shoulders tensed; sure enough, Souji came walking around the corner with a bounce in his step that was hard to miss. Just that made Yosuke falter; Souji was putting a lot of effort into a joke, and that in itself was unlike their leader - especially as Yosuke didn’t believe he would have gone along with something if he’d actually thought there were real feelings involved. Souji’s eyes were bright, and his smile was brilliant; he looked so happy that Yosuke felt a twinge of longing.
He couldn’t risk letting it show, though. There's no way this is anything other than a prank.
Souji stopped in front of Yosuke, happiness still bright across his face, but with one look at Yosuke - who knew he probably looked pissed off, or wary, or hurt, or anything other than happy - the taller boy’s smile faded.
That hurt a surprising amount, and now that Yosuke was facing Souji, some of his anger faded, as well; there was no way he could actually be angry with the silver-haired boy, not over something like this, not unless it was a lot more mean-spirited than the brunette believed it was. He pulled out his phone with a nervous laugh. “Uh… partner… what the fuck?”
It was Souji’s turn to look confused, and wary. “Yosuke?” He actually sounded alarmed, and that just made it harder. Yosuke gave another nervous laugh.
“You’re… playing a joke on me, right? These texts… I don’t know what the hell is going on, did Chie put you up-”
He stopped dead at the look of horror that was dawning across Souji’s face; the colour had completely faded from his cheeks, and there was an expression in his eyes that broke Yosuke’s heart, even as he didn’t understand it. He couldn’t help his own panic, either; oh shit he figured out that I actually am in love with him?
For a few seconds they stared at each other, Yosuke’s face hooded and defensive, Souji’s morphing into a mix of terror and embarrassment. Before the brunette could give his own secret up for lost, though, Souji clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Oh no… oh no …ohmygodI’msosorryitmusthavebeenadream!”
Before Yosuke even had a chance to parse the jumbled, mumbled phrase - much less understand it - Souji spun around, sprinting back the way he came. This was not what Yosuke had expected; he tried to follow, shouting for Souji to stop, but it was no use. Souji was gone, and Yosuke was stuck standing in the middle of the road, an expression of disbelief on his face.
Wait WHAT no no no fuck it all goddammit Souj! What do you mean, a dream?
Souji never came to school that day. Kashiwagi said something about calling in sick; the girls looked worried, and Yosuke couldn't help the anxiety that was gnawing at his stomach. He wanted - needed - to confirm his suspicions with Souji, but how? He couldn't stand the thought of texting and not getting an answer; besides, it was too easy to lie over text.
He slept like crap that night, but he hoped the next day would bring some answers.
Yosuke waited at their usual corner until he was almost late the next morning; by the time he decided that Souji was either gone already or not coming, and started running - desperate to make it before the bell - he’d realised that getting an answer wasn’t going to be easy. If it was going to happen at all.
When he got to class, he almost thought he was in the wrong classroom; Yukiko was sitting in the seat in front of him - where Souji had sat the entire year - and Souji was in her old seat in the front of the room. The bottom dropped out of the brunette’s stomach; when Kashiwagi was turned around, he leaned forward.
“Yukiko?”
She shook her head, but after a few minutes, a small piece of paper fell onto his foot. Ignoring the fact that it was the absolute worst way to pass messages (he seriously wondered how she and Chie hadn’t gotten caught all year if that was how they handled it), he managed to lean over and snag it.
Souji-kun said he was sick yesterday from the air vent blowing on him, so the teacher let us switch. I think it feels nice, but I’ll be careful just in case. You should, too, Yosuke-kun.
Putting his head on his arms, Yosuke bit back a groan. So he’s going to avoid me. How the hell is that fair???
He didn’t even want to pay attention in class that day, so he didn’t. A few hours after lunch - he’d tried to catch Souji, but the silver-haired boy had disappeared so fast that nobody even knew which way he’d gone - he felt a piece of paper wedge under his elbow; for a split second his heart lifted, but when he opened it and saw Chie’s handwriting, it fell again.
Why are you and Souji fighting? What did you do?
He grit his teeth, scribbling a response.
I didn’t do anything!
The look she gave him said that she didn’t believe him, but he was past the point of caring. It was almost laughable; he’d held back his feelings for months because he was terrified of ruining their friendship, but now Souji wouldn’t even talk to him out of embarrassment over the same feelings - there was no way it wasn’t true, with the way he was acting.
Shit. I should have just confessed. We'd be happy, and I’d still have my best friend.
You’d think, for two people who spent so much time in the same places, that Yosuke would have been able to find some way to talk to Souji, but no.
He didn’t want to write a note, because Chie was too nosy, Yukiko was out, given the one she’d passed to him, and Souji would probably not want to accept it - and that might catch the teacher’s attention. He didn’t want his secret outed, and he wasn’t going to out Souji’s - it wouldn’t be fair.
Any time he tried to actually talk to Souji, the silver-haired boy was suddenly Just Too Busy. His main tactic was merely to escape before Yosuke could say anything; when they ran into each other, he’d slip by, and the brunette knew that if he tried to go after him or catch his arm, he’d cause a scene. The few times Yosuke did manage to get a few words out - I just want to get lunch, for crying out loud! - Souji’s eyes would dart around, settling everywhere but on his face, and he’d just mumble something about having to go, and then disappear.
Yosuke avoided texting for a day or two; at that time, he’d hoped that Souji would calm down eventually, and realise that it was all stupid. When he didn’t, the brunette tried, keeping it casual.
It failed miserably.
sup partner
Nothing.
u ok?
I’m fine.
how’s nanako
She’s fine.
want to hang out
Sorry, got plans.
At this point, Yosuke didn’t know what to do. It hurt, it hurt so badly, he was so tempted just to text Souji and say “Oh my god you asshole stop avoiding me don’t you realise I’m in love with you too” but even if Souji had been willing to believe him (which he doubted), it… wasn’t ideal. Not that what they were currently going through was ideal but… just ugh. When I confess I want to see his face. I’m selfish but it’s not something I’d ever see again and I feel like that’s the kind of memory I’d regret not having.
Although with the rate things were going, he wasn’t ever going to get to see it.
He dreamed, sometimes, about the expression Souji had before The Incident. There had been a brightness that he’d never seen before, the kind of joy that belonged on Souji’s face; the silver-haired boy was always so earnest and dependable that seeing him so open, so happy … it took Yosuke’s breath away. So he dreamed about it sometimes, about what it would be like to put his hand on Souji’s shining, happy face, to see those soft, eyes, so full of joy, looking down at him.
When he woke up from those dreams, his pillow was always wet, and the rest of the day was always miserable. Not that he wasn’t miserable, on the whole, anyway; he loved Souji, and Souji seemed to be in love with him - except, was he even, any more? Had his deep embarrassment and determination to avoid Yosuke at all costs burned that away, ruined it? The little negative voice that liked to follow the brunette around whispered that it must have, and although he tried to ignore it, it was so hard.
Everything was hard. Souji wouldn’t talk to him, Yosuke had no way to know how to get through to him; he missed Souji so, so much - not even counting being in love with him, he just missed his friend. And it wasn’t fair! Yosuke hadn’t done anything, and even when he tried to do something, it didn’t work!
Why doesn’t Souji trust me? Is he so sure that I’d drop him that he’s willing to cut our friendship off before I can do it?
To be fair, Yosuke couldn’t really blame him - no more than he could blame himself. It was the reason he’d never told Souji he was in love with him, and Souji hadn’t exactly been given the choice to confess or not. (Well, he kind of did, whispered that little voice, but Yosuke ignored it. He knew what he meant.) And if he was being entirely honest, he had acted pretty upset that morning, but he'd just been so scared that Souji had either found out or was thoughtlessly making fun of him for feelings that were actually very real. Probably not the best reaction to have had to encourage trust.
He understood, but it hurt. So badly. Losing Saki-senpai hadn’t even hurt like this, even if it had been a thousand times more tragic.
Three weeks after The Incident (Yosuke’s other name for it, The Stupid Misunderstanding That Can Go Jump In A Fire And Die, didn’t roll off the tongue so well), he finally decided that he’d had enough. After school on a day that Chie had to head home early, he pulled Yukiko aside.
After he’d explained his plan, she looked at him, her eyes wary.
“And you swear that you didn’t do anything to make Souji-kun mad?”
“I swear! Please, Yukiko!” He was begging, he knew it, and he didn’t care any more. “I don’t trust Chie not to let something slip - even if she didn’t mean to - but I’ve got-” He paused before his voice could break, then resumed, trying to keep everything level. “I’ve got to fix this. I miss him, Yukiko.”
He felt something in his eye and he blinked, looking away; he must not have been fast enough, though, because when he looked back, Yukiko was watching him with a concerned expression that he would have killed for back when he’d started school. Right now, he only cared because it might mean she’d help him.
She exhaled softly, shaking her head. “Okay, Yosuke-kun. I will. Just… if things go wrong I’m going to tell him everything, okay?”
For the first time in weeks, he felt hope; his face lit up, and when it did, she blinked. “Of course, yeah, I don’t want you to get in trouble with him or anything, I just want to talk to him. Thank you, Yukiko, I owe you one.”
She shook her head a little, taking out her phone to type up a text; Yosuke was jealous at the speed with which she got a reply. He tried not to be impatient as she sent another text; sitting down, he gripped the handle of his satchel, trying to think about what he’d have to do to make everything work.
Finally, she sat down next to him.
“Okay, he said sure, but he’s got to go out with Dojima-san tomorrow afternoon, so it’s going to be early.”
“I don’t care.” Yosuke knew that he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care about that, either. “I’ll get up at midnight if I have to.”
“It’s not that early.” She laughed a little. “Just don’t expect to sleep in. I told him to meet me at the bookstore tomorrow at 8.”
He didn’t even pause; he’d give up a year’s worth of sleeping late to fix things with Souji - not like I’m sleeping well anymore, anyway. Nodding, he clenched his hand. “I can do that. Thanks. I swear, we’ll fix this or I’ll stop trying.” His voice caught on those last three words, but he couldn’t focus on them; he had to believe this was going to work, or he’d go insane.
For once, he was glad that he had to work the evening shift at Junes; It gave him something to focus on instead of Souji, or his nerves. When he finally got home, exhausted from unloading stock all evening, he forced himself to get a shower and pick out an outfit; he toyed with the idea of dressing up, but decided that he’d already be uncomfortable enough, so he settled on a clean band t-shirt and some new jeans he’d gotten but not had a chance to wear.
He was up the next morning at six, and seven saw him walking up to the Dojimas’. He knew that Souji would probably leave to meet Yukiko by seven-thirty at the latest - he liked to be early - so Yosuke settled down on the steps, preparing to wait. Luckily, Souji’s window was around the side of the house; the door had no window, either, so nobody would see him there until they were already outside. It was by no means a failsafe plan, but it was better than trying to confront Souji out in public; if things went well at all, they could talk about it inside. Dojima’s car was gone, so he must be working the morning; Nanako they could deal with. He didn’t mind her hearing, anyway.
He hadn’t been sitting down for more than five minutes before he heard an ominous rumble; the sky - which had only been leaden, and hadn’t looked as if it was going to rain - split as Yosuke looked up, and he heaved a sigh.
Dammit, I didn’t bring an umbrella. He looked around, but there was also nowhere near the house to take shelter where he could see the front door; there were some awnings across the street, but that would mean he’d have to chase after Souji, or try to yell at him, and that’s a recipe for disaster.
Goddammit, Souji Seta, this had better be worth it. I wish you'd realise just how much I’m willing to do for you.
He was drenched within minutes, and while it wasn’t cold outside, it certainly wasn’t high summer any more. Yosuke was just sitting on the step, shivering, trying to decide whether or not Souji was even going to go when he heard footsteps; the door opened as he whirled around and Souji - who hadn’t been expecting anybody to be sitting on his step, much less Yosuke - almost tripped over the brunette with an exclamation of surprise.
“Augh! Yosuke, what the hell?”
Taking advantage of Souji’s surprise, Yosuke jumped to his feet. “Dude you have been avoiding me for like three weeks and it’s killing me, I’m miserable, we have to talk."
A pained expression on his face, Souji looked past Yosuke, fixing his gaze on the street. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to meet Yukiko.” He started to open his umbrella, but Yosuke sighed, wrapping his hand around it to keep it closed.
“It’s a front, dude, I’m sorry. I asked her to set this up.”
Anxiety flashed across the silver-haired boy’s face; digging into his pocket, he pulled out his phone, and his eyes widened as he read the message that was waiting for him. For a second, his gaze darted up to Yosuke; the brunette just stood there, his hair plastered to his face, trying not to blink against the rain as he prayed with everything he had.
Finally, Souji sighed. His shoulders slumped, and he stepped back. “Okay.” He took a deep breath, then exhaled, heavily. “Okay. I know I’ve been a coward and we need to talk. Inside, come on.”
He opened the door and Yosuke followed him in; Souji dropped his umbrella into the stand, and then slowly turned to face him. Before he could say anything, though, Yosuke crossed his arms, mostly to hide the fact that he’d been an idiot and worn a white t-shirt and now that he was completely soaked, well… he felt a little exposed.
Not the ideal circumstances to confess but if I don’t take this chance I’ll never get another one.
“Souji. I know I acted like an ass when you sent me those texts. I'm sorry. The reason I was weirded out was because I thought Chie had set you up to make fun of me.”
A hurt expression flashed across Souji’s face. “Yosuke. I would never -” He sounded indignant, and Yosuke held up a hand.
“Dude. I know. I knew you’d never tease me if you’d known there were actually real emotions involved, but if you’d just thought it was a fun joke for everybody… that’s what was hurting me.”
The taller boy tilted his head, looking puzzled. “Real emotions? Yosuke, what- oh. Oh."
As realisation dawned on Souji’s face, Yosuke bit his lip and nodded.
“I like you. Like… love. I have for a long time.”
For a moment, the two of them stared at each other; finally, Souji put a hand over his face, hiccupping a sob. “Oh thank god, Yosuke.”
The brunette watched, his heart squeezing even as relief made him feel so light he could walk on air; he wanted to wrap his arms around Souji, pull him close, but he was dripping wet. As if thinking about it made it somehow more real, he felt goosebumps crawl his arms, and he shivered.
“Souji, shhh… it’s okay. I- I really want to hold you so much right now, but I’m soaked, and-”
The silver-haired boy looked up at this, his gaze skimming over the brunette's wet form as if taking everything in; he caught Yosuke's eyes, his own widened, and suddenly the brunette found himself pushed back against the door as their lips crashed together. Souji hadn’t been in the rain for as long as Yosuke, but he was wet, and as the brunette slid his hands along Souji’s sides and back he could feel his partner’s muscles shift beneath his fingertips, through the polo shirt. It was so hot he had to moan, and when he did Souji dropped his mouth to Yosuke’s neck, licking the drops of water that dripped off the brunette’s hair. It was too much, the hallway was spinning, and he shuddered in Souji’s tight embrace.
Souji must have mistaken his shudder for a shiver, because he pulled back, panting; his hair was damp, and his lips were wet, and Yosuke just wanted to follow him, pulling him into another kiss, but Souji put his hands on the brunette’s shoulders.
“You’re dripping wet, you’re going to catch a cold. You’re taking a hot shower, now, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
Yosuke was so glad to have Souji back - to have his friend back, to have his feelings returned - that he wasn’t interested in arguing. He let the silver-haired boy take his hand and lead him upstairs; once they were in the bathroom, Souji grabbed a towel, but when he set it down and turned away, Yosuke reached out, catching his arm without even thinking about it.
Souji turned back, a question on his face, and Yosuke flushed.
“You’re wet, you need a shower, too.”
Eyes widening, Souji flushed, but the look on his face was one of barely-contained hunger. “I- can I join you, then?” His voice was low, and soft, almost as if he was scared to ask and Yosuke stepped forward, reaching out to tug Souji’s polo over his head.
“Where’s your uncle?” His voice had lowered, as well; he hadn’t done it intentionally, but he didn’t want to crack the delicate, spun-glass atmosphere that had wrapped around the two of them, as if they were alone in the universe at that moment.
“Working. He’ll be home after lunch.” Souji was whispering as he ducked his head; when his shirt hit the floor, Yosuke started to pull his own off, and then nimble fingers were at his waist. They unbuttoned his fly, but went no further; the look in Souji’s eyes was one of reverence and fear, and he caught Yosuke’s gaze with a questioning expression.
Taking a deep breath, Yosuke put his hands on Souji’s hips, trying not to think about how slim they were, or how well they fit into his hands, or how warm his skin was, in comparison to the cold fabric of his wet jeans. Nodding slightly, he looked towards the door. “Nanako?”
Exhaling softly, Souji started to unzip Yosuke’s jeans with trembling fingers. “She’s spending the night with a friend. Uncle will bring her home when he comes to pick me up; we’re going to Okina to do some household shopping.”
“Good.” The word was nothing more than an aching sigh; gripping Souji’s hips, he pulled the silver-haired boy close, and Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke’s shoulders as they kissed again. It was slow and deep, and Souji’s lips were rain-soft; Yosuke ran his tongue along one and then nibbled it as Souji groaned, grinding against the brunette’s leg.
Yosuke wasn’t really sure how they finished getting undressed, or who turned on the shower. All he knew was that kissing - and being kissed by - Souji almost made up for the last, miserable three weeks, and then he was tugging Souji backwards with him into the warm water, so much more gentle than the rain. Kissing Souji in the shower, it turned out, was even better than kissing him outside the shower, and the warmth seeped into his bones even as Souji’s breath filled his lungs, and everything was hazy and perfect.
When Souji finally pulled back to catch his breath, his eyes were shining with the same joy he’d had that morning, so many weeks ago, and Yosuke felt happiness bubble up inside, so effervescent that he had to laugh. Reaching up, he touched Souji’s cheek; the silver-haired boy - still smiling - tilted his head.
“What’s up?” His voice was still soft and gentle, and it feathered through Yosuke’s veins as he shook his head.
“I’m just happy. I love you so much.”
If Yosuke thought he’d seen happiness before, he had no name for the expression that filled Souji’s eyes as he pulled the brunette close. As their lips met, the silver-haired boy’s fingers started to trace the rivulets of water as they cascaded down Yosuke’s back; Yosuke shuddered, and moaned, and then - as if his moan had flipped a switch - he found himself pressed back against the warm tile wall. Souji’s fingers were no longer tracing, they were seeking, and his lips were insistent against Yosuke’s throat as he sucked at the brunette’s pulse point, and Yosuke wasn’t sure his knees weren’t going to give out, it felt so amazing. He tried to keep up, to match Souji, kiss for kiss and touch for touch, and everything was too hot, scalding, a blue-hot pinpoint of light behind his eyelids as the world spun out around him.
Some time later, they were both dry and dressed in clean clothes - Souji’s shirt was a little too big for Yosuke’s shoulders, but the brunette found that he liked that a lot. Making a mental note to ask for a shirt to take home at some point, Yosuke lay against Souji’s chest as the silver-haired boy leaned back in the corner of the couch.
He was just listening to Souji’s heartbeat, comparing it to how it felt under his hand - which he had resting flat against Souji’s chest - when the hand that had been stroking his hair slid down to his neck, and he looked up only to have Souji lean over and kiss him. It was gentle, but there was a desperate edge to it that reminded Yosuke that they’d both been miserable and alone not two hours before, and he wrapped his arms around Souji, burying his face in the silver-haired boy’s shoulder.
Souji’s response was a quiet chuckle. “Yeah. Me, too.” Inhaling softly, as if to calm his nerves, he shifted. “Yosuke?”
Taking one last, deep breath of the silver-haired boy's scent, the brunette rolled to one side so that he could meet Souji's eyes without having to move from his chest. The gentle look of happiness was back, and Yosuke smiled, brushing his thumb along Souji’s jaw.
“‘Sup, partner?”
“Be my boyfriend.”
With a grin, Yosuke sat up. “Does that mean we’re friends again? Will you switch seats back with Yukiko?”
Souji had the grace to blush at this. “I’m… sorry. I handled everything wrong. Even if you hadn’t liked me back, I shouldn’t have treated you like that. It wasn’t your fault, and I should have trusted you.” He frowned, and Yosuke leaned over, bumping their foreheads together.
“You should have, but it’s okay now, right?”
Souji’s eyes searched his; when he finally nodded, giving a small smile, the brunette returned it with a wider one, kissing Souji softly.
“Of course I’ll be your boyfriend.”
Relief broke across the silver-haired boy’s face and he wrapped his arms around Yosuke, burying his face against the brunette’s chest; Yosuke smiled, running his fingers through Souji’s hair as a thought struck him.
“So… you had a dream about me? Back at the beginning of all this?”
The question seemed to startle Souji, who coughed; when he raised his head, his cheeks were red, and he looked embarrassed. “Er. Yeah.” He scratched the back of his head. “I dreamed that you called me up and said that you needed to talk to me, and you sounded so distraught that I told you to come over, and I snuck you in and you were so nervous, but you told me you liked me, and…” He paused, flushing more, and smiled a little. Leaning over, he rested his forehead against Yosuke’s shoulder. “Yeah. It was really nice, but… this was nicer.”
“Mmm. Good. I don’t want to be jealous of dream me.”
Souji chuckled, and leaned up, and this kiss was warm and sweet, a soft breeze on a summer beach, and Yosuke tightened his hands in Souji’s shirt, pulling him close.
Yosuke’s clothes were dry by the time Dojima got home, and while he didn’t want to leave, he knew that Souji really did have to go with his family; plus, there was something a little unsettling about the smile Dojima gave him as he was saying good-bye, and the brunette figured that it was probably best not to push things too much.
Souji texted him through the afternoon, on and off, and Yosuke forced himself to sit down with homework he really hadn’t focused on in far too long. The texts were nice; for the most part, they were just casual and joking, and Yosuke was so glad that things were back to the way they should be - and then there were those moments where Souji would text “I love you” or “I really miss you” or just a heart and Yosuke would say something just as sappy back and that made everything better than it had been.
It wasn’t until after dinner that Souji finally texted him that he was home. Yosuke knew it was too late to go over, so he just started to get ready for bed - especially as they had class the next day. He was just about to change into his sleep clothes when he finally sighed, reaching for his phone.
so uh… i heard that if i rly want 2 talk 2 u, u’d b willin 2 sneak me in
He waited for the response, trying not to fidget; when his phone lit up, he flipped it open.
I really shouldn’t… but you know, uncle’s back at the office, so… just this once…
A grin split his face, and he grabbed his keys, typing a response with one thumb as he opened his window.
b rite ovr, partner