Chapter Text
It was 7:45, and Samira was finally ready to call it a day. She had been there since 6 a.m. and was completely wiped out from another chaotic day in the ER. She used to live for the thrill of the ER. But now, the rapid pace, the never-ending list of clients, the responsibility was draining her day by day. She felt like she was going through the motions. Her coworkers laughed about her lack of speed, her attending was consistently making sure she knew how lacking she was compared to her colleagues, her patients were ungrateful and harsh with their words, and of course, there was the guilt of not being able to save everyone. She thought after so much training, so much practice, so much time and energy spent in the ER, she would grow accustomed to the weight, the loneliness, the fear of not being good enough. But it seemed like it was going to take a little longer to adjust, at least after the horrendous day she’d had.
Her day had a few bright spots. She met a lovely mother who was terrified for her daughter when it turned out to be an easy solution, and the mother had been so relieved she’d cried, hugged, and thanked her profusely. A frequent flier had come in, and while his visit was not wholly necessary, his smile and small talk never ceased to make her smile and get some of her pep back in her step. And of course there was this morning. Dr. Abbot had been in the routine of treating the incoming ER staff to a breakfast treat on his way out. Whether it was a box of donuts delivered, special coffees from the only good cafe upstairs, or fresh fruit from the organic store down the street, most days she came in there was a small treat to look forward to. She couldn’t tell if it was always a coincidence, but her favorite was always there. A chocolate donut with sprinkles, a hazelnut latte, or the extra juicy oranges she savored for lunch, it was there for her.
But this morning was even better because Dr. Abbot had been there when she got there. She came a bit earlier than normal to finish charting from the day before and because her sleep had been a mess since med school. He had really splurged on the breakfast burritos this morning, she could smell them when she peeked her head into the lounge on her way in, she was slightly bummed since she couldn’t indulge but was happy for the rest of the staff regardless. When she walked in, Abbot’s head had popped up from his computer screen. He gave her a small smile and waved her over. Sitting next to his computer was a little white bag.
“You’re in early,” he said, glancing away from his computer.
“Yep.” She offered a weak, sleepy smile.
“Seem to be doing that a lot recently.”
“Well, you know…” Samira didn’t have the best response, as she knew she should be taking every spare moment for herself. Sleeping, hanging out with friends… dating. Anything that would make her a normal 29-year-old. Yet she’s back in the place that is draining her dry. Early at that.
“If you wanna join the night shift, all you have to do is ask,” Abbot said, a hint of teasing in his voice.
Samira snapped her neck to look at him like he was crazy.
“Yeah, sorry, I don’t think that’s it. I prefer being able to have some semblance of a normal sleep schedule.” But as soon as she said it, she thought about if maybe he was right. Something in her current schedule was obviously not working for her.
“Maybe this will tempt you,” he said, scooting the bag towards her.
Samira opened the bag. “Oh, sorry, I can’t. I don’t eat—”
“It’s vegetarian. Tastes worse, but same protein you’ll need to survive your shift,” Dr. Abbot said with a wink.
“Oh. Thank you, that was really thoughtful.” She wasn’t sure what else to say. She didn’t want to think about how the gesture, the thoughtfulness, made her stomach flutter and her eyes want to water at the same time. She reached for her backpack she hadn’t been able to put in her locker yet, and started rummaging for her wallet. “I mean—how much was it? I know this place is crazy when it comes to—”
“Dr. Mohan,” Abbot said, cutting her off.
She didn’t stop rummaging; she needed to keep her hands and mind occupied to avoid anything bubbling up in her.
“Samira,” Abbot said. Her head flew up on instinct only to be met with his gaze.
The eye contact was intense. He looked like he was trying to tell her so many things with that single look. Samira was too shaken from his gesture to want to think about what any of those things might be.
While maintaining that eye contact, he said, “Go eat that in the lounge. You’re too early anyway.”
“I am more than capable of starting my work now,” Samira defended.
“Didn’t say you weren’t. I’m saying to take care of yourself before you start that work.”
“Maybe I like working early.”
“Maybe you’d like night shift. Who’s to say?”
“Dream on, Dr. Abbot.”
With a huff, “Trust me, I will. Now go eat your fake food.”
Samira had given him that soft smile reserved for the happiest moments. “Thank you, Dr. Abbot.”
“Jack. Please.”
Oh.
It wasn’t totally weird to call her fellow doctors by their first names, but an attending? She wasn’t sure.
“Alrighty then. Thank you, Dr. Jack,” she said as she was walking towards the lounge, white paper bag in hand.
If she hadn’t turned so fast to make it to the lounge to devour the burrito, she wouldn’t have missed his eye roll, perfect smirk, and head shake filled with admiration.