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Fight Me

Summary:

In which Warren doesn't completely fail at asking out his nurse.

Notes:

Disclaimer: I know nothing about how hospitals work!! I feel like it shows... anyways.
this is based on this tumblr post: http://turtletotem.tumblr.com/post/121393741711/ohsebs-ohsebs-ohsebs-my-nurse-just-came

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Warren doesn't so much wake up as become aware that he's somewhere he doesn't remember falling asleep in. Everything is a little blurry and he's vaguely aware of an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, but that's about all he can figure out the first time he wakes up. The next time, things are a bit clearer, and he can tell now that he's in the hospital. Mostly it's because all the walls are some shade of white that's probably called eggshell or something else dumb, but the beeping of various medical devices is also a tip off. He blinks a couple times and tries to take a deep breath and move his wings off the floor, only to find that shit, that doesn't feel right. He manages to raise his head enough to look down at his chest, and yep, it's bandaged. Also he's... in a hammock? Before he can contemplate that any further, someone comes in and says, with what he thinks is a German accent, "So, we are awake now?"

"Fight me," he says, without looking at the new person, because honestly that's just his response to most situations. Then the new person giggles, and Warren turns to look at him, and it's his nurse, and his nurse is blue. His nurse is also absurdly pretty. He wants to say something to this effect, but what comes out is, "Why'm I in a hammock." Fucking pain meds.

The pretty blue nurse smiles at him before turning to check a few things on the machines and says, "It's standard for people with wings, if they can't lie on their stomachs." He makes a satisfied noise and checks something off on a clipboard before turning a fanged grin on Warren. "Which you can't. You broke two ribs."

Warren turns his gaze to the ceiling because thinking while looking at his nurse is not easy. "Fuck," he says, remembering now that he had gotten into a stupid drunk fight with stupid Scott and his stupid concussive beams.

"Are you experiencing any pain?" blue German nurse asks, and Warren really needs to figure out his name.

"Nah," Warren says, although it's not exactly a comfortable feeling he's got. "Wha's your name?"

"It's Kurt," Kurt says.

"Cool," Warren says, "I'm Warren."

"Yes," Kurt says with a grin, "I know. It's nice to officially meet you. I need to go check on some other patients now, but if you need anything, just push the call button," he says, pointing it out where it's clipped to the hammock by his right hand.

"When will you be back?" Warren asks. It comes out more desperate than he meant it to, but Kurt's smile gets brighter, which makes it worth it.

"Probably around the time you wake back up," he says, and waves, only then Warren realizes he's not waving with his hand.

"Holy shit," he says, "You have a tail."

Kurt outright laughs at that, tail curling in the air behind him. Warren is tempted to describe it as flirtatious curling, but that's probably just wishful/drugged thinking. "Yes, I do," Kurt says, waving the spade of it at him again. "Get some rest," he says as he turns and walks away, and Warren may not die from broken ribs, but he's definitely going to die from how cute his nurse is.

~

Kurt is already there the next time Warren wakes up, checking the monitors. "Fight me," Warren mumbles. It's not what he meant to say (he meant to say date me) but it's basically an automatic response to the existence of other people. He doesn't usually find it necessary to turn that response off.

Kurt raises an eyebrow and smiles at him. "Maybe later," he says, "I think you'd beat me."

Warren is actually certain that all Kurt would have to do is turn the full force of his smile on him and he'd collapse to the ground, utterly defeated, but he doesn't say that. That might be weird.

Kurt goes back to looking at the monitors and Warren takes a moment to look at him. His tail is flicking back and forth idly behind him. Warren hadn't realized before that it has ridges, rather than a smooth surface.

"I didn't think broken ribs usually needed this much hospital time," Warren says, eyes still fixed on the tail.

Kurt turns his attention back to him, which is really the only reason he said anything anyways, and says, "It's because of your wings."

That jerks Warren out of his staring contest with Kurt's tail. "What? They're not hurt, are they?" he tries to move them and feels them respond as they always do, even if they're a little constrained by the way the hammock fits around them.

"No! Sorry, I should have been clearer. It's just because you have those extra pectoral muscles. We typically keep winged patients with chest injuries a little longer, just to be on the safe side."

"Oh," Warren says, laying back. He's relieved. He'd broken a wing once, shortly after they'd grown in and he had been flying for about a month. It had not been an enjoyable experience. He's been more careful with them since then.

"Still comfortable?" Kurt asks, "Is there anything I can get you?"

A date, Warren thinks, then actually thinks about it. "Um. some water?"

"Sure," Kurt says. He helps Warren drink it, which is equal parts embarrassing and the best thing ever, and then asks, "Do you want to watch TV or do you think you're going to go back to sleep?"

"TV," Warren says after considering for a moment.

"Alright, here's the remote." Kurt points to one of the buttons. "This one will take you to the guide."

"Any recommendations?"

Kurt's cheeks go slightly purple, and Warren melts a little inside. "My favorite is channel 398," he says. "Lots of adventure movies."

"I'll check it out," Warren says. Shit. He's made direct eye contact with Kurt and he can't bring himself to look away. He's so bad at this - it's probably weird now; why did the powers that be make him this way?

"Enjoy it," Kurt says over his shoulder as he's leaving the room. Warren curses the baggy nature of scrubs.

~

Jean and Scott show up when he's about halfway through 'Captain Blood'.

"I'm sorry I was an asshole," Scott says.

"You're always an asshole," Warren says.

Scott's brows furrow. "Oh, yeah, cause you're never an asshole," he says.

Jean is just shaking her head, like she can't believe this is happening to her.

There's a whoosh of air and then Peter's there. "Why are we talking about assholes?"

"Well, you know what they say, speak of the devil and he shall come," Warren says.

"I swear to god," Jean says, standing up from her chair. They all look at her. She sits back down. "If I thought I could leave you all unsupervised I'd go get terrible hospital coffee, just to get a break from this idiocy."

Peter appears suddenly at the edge of Warren's hammock, holding the call button. "Let's just call the stewardess, if you want coffee."

"I don't-" Jean starts, just as Warren grabs for the button, but of course Peter is faster. Warren still smacks him.

"What?" he says. Jean smacks him too. "What!" he says again.

"You don't call the nurse for coffee, you ass," she says. "I don't even want coffee, I just want to get away from all of you."

There's a weird noise out in the hall, and then the door opens and Kurt walks in. Peter is immediately in his space. "That was fast."

Warren groans. Kurt glances at him, and then back at Peter. "I'm a teleporter," he says. "You?"

Peter blurs out and then blurs back with a rose in one hand. "Super speed."

Kurt glances down at the rose. "I see. Do you need anything, Warren?"

"No, I'm sorry. You'll have to excuse Peter, he's got a chronic case of idiot."

Kurt grins at him, and Warren can feel his heart doing something funny. "Ok. I'll check in on you later." He smiles at Peter and then disappears in a cloud of purple smoke and that same weird noise from before.

Peter turns on him immediately. "Are you flirting with your nurse? Kinky. Very Florence Nightingale."

"I feel like that's not very appropriate," Scott says. He's frowning again.

"He's cute," Jean says. "You should ask him out."

"Jean!" Scott says.

Warren groans and covers his face with his hands. "I hate all of you."

~

Kurt comes back later that afternoon. "Your friends seem nice," he says.

"They're all terrible," Warren says, then reconsiders. "Well, okay, Jean's not that bad."

Kurt laughs at him. "Still, it's nice to have visitors, no?"

Warren waves that off. "Scott only came because Jean made him and he felt guilty for breaking my ribs. Peter was probably just bored."

Kurt frowns at him curiously. "Your friend broke your ribs?"

"Oh," Warren says. He hadn't thought about how that would sound. "No, we were just - we were drunk, we got in a stupid fight. Because we're assholes," he adds, figuring he might as well give Kurt fair warning. "He shoots, like. Force beams? From his eyes. Usually he can control how strong they are but like I said we were drunk."

"I see," Kurt says, though he sounds a little dubious. "Well, barring anything unexpected, you should be released tomorrow," Kurt says, and as much as Warren wants out of this hammock, he feels a pang of displeasure at the thought of not seeing Kurt as much. "Will one of your friends come to pick you up?" he asks, jarring Warren out of his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah. But not one of those assholes that you met. My friend Ororo said she'd pick me up."

Kurt pauses, tail going still behind him. "Ororo Munroe?"

"Yeah," Warren says in surprise. "You know her?"

"Yeah," Kurt says, "she's dating my best friend."

Warren probably looks like an idiot with how wide his eyes are. "You're that Kurt? Jubilee never shuts up about you."

Kurt is laughing so hard he has to sit down. "And- and you're that Warren! Ororo's always talking about - but she never mentioned -"

Warren is laughing too, which is the worst because he has two broken ribs, but the whole thing is weirdly hilarious, because Jubilee, being Jubilee, had somehow never mentioned that her best friend is blue; meanwhile, evidently Ororo had failed to mention to Kurt that Warren has wings. They've been talking for almost two days without realizing that they sort of already know each other.

Eventually their borderline hysterical laughter fades off and Kurt stands back up, giggling softly still. Ask him out, Warren thinks. It's not weird now that you know you've got a mutual friend.

"Well," Kurt says, "I guess now I've really officially met you."

"Yeah," Warren says, holding out his hand, "hope it's not too much of a letdown."

Kurt gives him sort of an 'oh you' look but takes his hand anyways. Warren grins and probably holds on to Kurt's hand too long, but Kurt hasn't snatched it back so he feels like maybe this goes both ways. Ask him out! his mind says urgently, do it now before your cowardice gets back from its coffee break! "Do you like coffee?" Kurt asks, promptly shutting down every thought except oh shit, is he asking me out?

"Yeah," Warren says.

"My shift is about to end," Kurt says, blushing again, and Warren's brain nearly explodes because oh wow he is asking me out, "S-so I have to go home," wait what? "But I'll bring you some coffee when I come in tomorrow morning, before you're released!"

"Oh," Warren says, hoping that none of his confusion is showing on his face, "Thanks." He lets go of Kurt's hand.

"Of course," Kurt says. "If you need anything, the nurse on the night shift is named Christopher. Have a good night, Warren."

"Yeah," Warren says, "You too."

As he watches Kurt leave, Warren thinks he's never been so confused in his life.

~

Warren doesn't sleep very well, and he's already awake when Kurt comes in with coffee. "Good morning," Kurt says, then tilts his head to the side a bit. "Looks like it's a good thing I brought you coffee."

"Yep," Warren says. He feels like he should follow that up with something but he just... he honestly can't think of anything else to say.

"You didn't sleep well?"

"Think I'm just ready to be out of the hospital," he says, hoping his grin doesn't look as forced as it feels.

"It'll be good to get back to your own bed, I imagine."

"Yeah." Warren watches as Kurt sets down the coffee on the small table next to his hammock. "Thanks man."

Kurt smiles at him. Warren melts a little inside. "Well, Dr. Reyes should be by in the next hour to go over the release forms with you, and then you'll be free to go! Not too much flying, though," he adds more seriously. "Oh, and say hi to Ororo for me!"

"You won't be here?" Warren asks, feeling disappointed.

"No, I have other patients to look after this morning," he says, and he looks genuinely disappointed. "But I hope we will see each other sometime outside of the hospital." There's a hint of purple in Kurt's cheeks again, and Warren feels like maybe he wasn't so far off in thinking this whole thing was mutual.

"Definitely," he says, "I'll see you around, Kurt."

Kurt smiles. "See you." And then he's gone in a burst of purple smoke.

Warren sighs and picks up the coffee. It's not the shitty hospital coffee, but it's not Starbucks either. It smells delicious but it still feels too hot to drink, so he just rotates it in his hands, idly looking for the brand. Instead, he finds, in neat handwriting, "fight me?" followed by a phone number and Kurt's name.

For a moment, all he can do is stare at the cup in his hands. "Fuck yes," he whispers, and then sets the cup aside and struggles out of the hammock, probably losing a few feathers in the process and possibly aggravating his broken ribs but he really doesn't care. Warren's always been a physical reaction kind of person, so it doesn't even occur to him that he could press the call button, or actually call Kurt's number.

Instead he goes out into the hallway, looking both ways before belatedly remembering that Kurt had teleported out of his room, and could be literally anywhere now.

"Excuse me, sir?" There's a blond nurse walking towards him. His name-tag says 'Josh'. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Yeah, you can call Kurt. Or, page him, or whatever you do," Warren says.

"I think he's got new patients, today," Josh says, "Whatever it is you need, I'm sure I can help you with."

Warren looks down at the guy. "Oh, really? I didn't know that I could ask you to get coffee with me this afternoon and it would be the same as asking him out."

"Oh," Josh says, his face going completely red.

"Yeah," Warren nods. "Oh."

"I'll just -" he turns and walks back to the nurses' station.

Warren crosses his arms and waits. It doesn't take long before there's a faint popping noise and a cloud of purple smoke, and, best of all, a pretty blue nurse.

"Warren? What's-"

"What time does your shift finish today?"

"Um," Kurt says, looking a little baffled, "At 5?"

"Get coffee with me."

"Ok," Kurt says, eyes wide and face completely purple. Warren's fairly certain from the heat in his cheeks that his whole face is red, so, that's fair.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

And that's how Warren ends up unintentionally dating his high school headmaster's nephew, but that's a story for another time. 

Notes:

I don't really like the ending but oh fucking well
Also this is completely unbetaed! bc I just wanted to post it before it turned into another novel length exploration of mutants as a minority group/a love song to Germany in the 80s, which is what happened to the last nightangel fic I started writing. I swear someday it will be finished.