Work Text:
Albus sits on Scorpius bed, stroking their shared cat lazily. Scorpius enters the room while trying to dry his hair with a large towel. He nearly runs into his desk.
“Watch where you going, or use magic.” Albus laughs.
Scorpius lets go of the towel and tries to toss it over Albus. The cat shoots him an annoyed glance.
“Missy doesn’t approve your behaviour.” Al states seriously.
They named the cat The Headmistress, because her disapproving expression every time they would make to much noise or disturb her peace in any other way, reminded them of McGonagall. But most of the time they call her Missy. Hugo had insisted that they would make sure she really was a cat and not an Animagus, because of her humanly behaviour sometimes. They had tested it, not without prior reading if the spell would hurt her if she was really just a cat. It didn’t hurt her, but after that she was so offended, that she ignored them for an entire week.
Scorpius laughs, “She would honestly fit in more with the old Lady downstairs, than with us.”
“Yeah, but she has chosen us. Must have had her reasons.”
They are both looking at her, thinking about the day a little over a year ago, the small grey cat with the golden eyes had been sitting in front of their door, meowing heartbreakingly.
“So”, Albus says, “big date tonight, huh?”
Scorpius looks a bit uncomfortable. “Hmm, actually I’m planning on telling her…um…about my past tonight. So I don’t think this will turn out to be a particular great date.”
Albus looks surprised, “You are going to tell her?”
Scorpius folds his scarred arms protectively over his still naked torso.
“I really like her, and I want to move things forward. But to do so, I have to tell her. Unfortunately. Could you toss me the T-Shirt please?”
Albus points at the two shirts lying on the bed, neatly folded. “Which one?”
“The black one, please.”
Albus throws the Shirt at him and Scorpius puts it on, in front of the full length mirror. It’s a muggel one, it’s leaning over the magic one, who had been silenced. Scorpius hated the constant comments of his mirror, he was downright rude. The one in Albus room was much friendlier and the one in the bathroom barley said anything.
Absentminded Scorpius rubs his arms up and down, feeling the unevenness of his otherwise smooth skin. Albus is watching him. It had taken years for Scorpius to be so comfortable at showing his scars around friends and family. But now it was natural to him. He didn’t even think of his scars anymore when he wore short sleeves in their company. Even in the lab with his small selected team of co-workers, he felt confident enough to show his arms. And no one really cared, well, not anymore. In the beginning there had been a few obvious stares and awkward questions, but each of his three colleagues had accepted it and where behaving completely normal around him.
Of course he still made sure everything was covered when he had to work in the front of the Apothecary, but he only did so when he was short on staff, for whatever reason. He still was shy and uncomfortable around strangers. That was the upside about owning this place now, instead of just working for someone, he could stay in the background and had not to interact with strangers too often.
It was only a small shop in the Diagon Alley, but he had owned himself a good reputation. Besides running the shop, he was the leader of a research team, that tried to combine magic and muggel medicine. In the field of poisoned bites, they had made some rather important advances.
“So you are nervous?” Albus asks, while Scorpius tries to fix his hair.
“Yeah, I am. What if she doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”
“Are you sure that you are ready to tell her? You’ve taken much more time to tell Marlene.”
“That was when we were sixteen. It was another kind of relationship. It was our first time for everything. Did I tell you that she is married now and expecting her first child?”
“You’ve told me last week. You are kind of sad about that, aren’t you?”
“What can I say. First love and all that. But I am happy for her.”
He had been together with Marlene for a year in their 6th year, until she had left to continue her education in France. They had tried to keep the relationship going, but the long distance made it impossible.
“And if you don’t tell her? Let her find out for herself?”
“Who, Elsa?”
Albus nods.
“Because that worked out just fine in the past.” Scorpius says sarcastically. “You remember Charlotte? That blond Huffelpuff girl? We kind of had a thing on Christmas break in 7th year. I didn’t tell her before, when she saw the scars she actually thought I had been tortured. And when I told her the truth she started to cry. It was so embarrassing.”
Albus nods, “yeah, I remember. It really was awkward after that between you two in herbology.”
“Horrible”, Scorpius agrees, shaking his head like a dog to get rid of the memory.
“If she just where a muggel,- Elsa I mean. Muggels are so much more accepting. You hardly have to explain anything. Lexy…”
But Albus interrupts him. “Alexa doesn’t count!”
Scorpius looks at him in confusion. Albus shrugs.
“She’s a self-harmer, too.”
Scorpius gives him a stern look. “That’s not all she is.”
“Yeah, she’s a lying, cheating, drug addicted bitch, too.”
“And she’s absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful, funny and an incredible artist.” He points at the large abstract painting that hangs over his bed. Albus doesn’t even look at it, he knows the painting by heart.
“It doesn’t even move.” He teases Scorpius, who laughs.
“I think if it did, one would be getting sick.” he dreamingly looks at the dark colours that swirl over the canvas, even without magic they seem to move.
“How is she?.” Albus asks.
A sad expression ghosts over Scorpius face. “Alexa? Not good. She’s back in that clinic again. I’ve visited her last week.”
“Tell me when you go next time, I’ll come too.”
Scorpius is surprised. “I thought you hate her?”
“I don’t hate her. I just hated you two together. It was an absolute disaster.”
“Well, it was fun, too.”
“Yeah, we had so much fun, running around in muggel London, searching for you. So much fun.” Albus says bitter.
Scorpius had met Alexa three years ago at a self-harmers support group. He had been there exactly one time,before the two of them hit it off. They became inseparable, going out, partying all the time. In the beginning Albus had been glad that his friend had met someone that seemed to be a related soul, and sure Alexa was funny, interesting and very beautiful. But then the Parties where getting wilder, Scorpius came home later every night, sometimes it was midday when he stumbled trough the door, drunk or high, or both. He stopped to see his therapist and he nearly had gotten kicked out of the muggel university, where he was studying pharmacy, because of his poor attendance records. He and Albus where constantly fighting. Soon Scorpius was only stopping by at their flat to get fresh clothes or to sleep. Owls with worried letters where exchanged between Scorpius parents and Albus. James stopped talking to Scorpius after the latter had told him rudely to mind his own business. Albus watched his friend wasting away, deeply involved in his self- destructive circle, somehow convinced he was having fun. There was nothing he could do. Neither pleads, nor threats could reach Scorpius. He shrugged at his friends when they voiced their concern and gave sarcastic answers when they tried to reason with him. All they could do was watching him helplessly and hope that he would get his senses back.
The day Scorpius finally hit rock bottom was a Friday in November. Albus had come home from work late and he didn’t expected Scorpius to be home. But when he walked trough the long, dark corridor of the building complex, he saw a bundle lying in front of the door. When he came closer he saw blonde hair sticking out here and there. It was Scorpius, all dressed in black muggel clothes, silent tears running down his cheeks. Albus squatted in front of him. Scorpius was holding onto his wand so tightly that his knuckles shone white, muttering frantically to himself.
“Scorp? Scorpius what are you doing here?” Albus questioned.
Scorpius startled. “Al, is that you?” he asked, squinting to see something in the dark.
“Yes, it’s me mate. What are you doing out here?”
“I can’t go in.”
“What do you mean? Why can’t you go in?” Albus was utterly confused.
“Can’t go trough the ward. Not enough energy.” He told him weakly.
“Oh Merlin, Scorpius! Alright, common let’s go inside before we become an entertainment for the whole neighbourhood.” With a flick of his wand the door flew open, he bended down to help Scorpius up. With his friend’s arms tightly wrapped around his neck, he half carried half dragged Scorpius inside and sat him down at the couch.
“Do you want some tea?”
“Yes, please.”
Albus busied himself with the kettle, to give Scorpius the opportunity to calm himself down a bit. When he brought the mugs over, Scorpius had his long legs outstretched, his head tilted back into the cushions and his eyes closed. For a moment Albus thought that Scorpius had fallen asleep, but then he opened his eyes. There where bloodshot and tired, pupils unnaturally wide blown. He was so pale that he looked seriously sick, his cheeks where hollow and his lips chapped. He nearly was drowning in his clothes; it was a pitiful sight.
“Scorpius, what happened?” Albus asked carefully.
“She cheated on me, Al. I mean, I knew it all along, but… you know… I choose to ignore it. But today I saw her with someone else.”
“Oh… I’m so sorry Scorp.” It’s all Albus can think of to say.
Scorpius tried to focus on Albus, but his gaze drifted of every so often. Albus looked at him.
“What did you take?”
“Just some ecstasy, but I’m coming down, though.”
Albus hoped that there wouldn’t be a panic attack. There had been a few and he never truly knew what he could do to help Scorpius.
“Is there anything I can do for you? You should eat something.”
“Not hungry. I’ll just go to bed.”
He got up, painfully slowly, trying to support himself on the couch.
“Scorpius, you really should eat something, you’re wasting away. How much do you weight?”
“Don’t know. Who cares?” Scorpius said dismissively.
“I care! You know that.” Albus was upset.
“I just want to go to sleep, Al. Stop nagging me, please.”
“I’ll help you.” He helped Scorpius into his room and to sit on his bed.
“Are you going to be alright?” he hovered at the door, unsure if he should go. In the past he would have stayed with him, if he was down like that. But the last six months had strained their relationship, and he felt awkwardly distant to his best friend nowadays.
“I’m in the living room, call me if you need me.”
Scorpius nodded, eyes fixed to the floor.
Ten minutes later Scorpius called out for Albus, voice sounding panicked.
Albus ran back into his flatmates room, where Scorpius sat on the floor, covering his left arm with his right hand, not quite able to stop the blood flow with his bare hands, the small portion knife he had used had fallen in his lap.
“I’m sorry, “he whispered.
Without thinking, Albus grabbed a T-Shirt that was lying on the ground and wrapped it tightly over the wound. Then he nudged Scorpius to stand up, ignoring the metallic clank of the knife hitting the floor, and helped him into the bathroom, where he made him wash his hands. All the time he was giving his commands nonverbally to Scorpius, who followed them immediately. He made Scorpius sit down at the edge of the bathtub and removed the T-Shirt to look at the cut. It was deep and he was going to heal it with magic, whether or not Scorpius liked it. He cleaned it out and applied the Dittany, watching the wound close and leaving a pink, raised scar. After he cleaned the blood from Scorpius arms, he hugged his friend, offering comfort and stability. He hadn’t seen Scorpius cry in a long time. But now the floodgates seemed open for all sorts of emotions. He was holding on to Albus, so tight it hurt. But Albus refused to let go.
“Shh, everything is going to be alright again.” He whispered into Scorpius hair.
“Help me, Albus, please help me!” he whimpered desperate.
In fact, Albus only once had witnessed a breakdown like that: the day Albus had told his father about his best friends’ self-harm.
“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be back at this place. Help me!” he was pleading hysterically.
“I promise I’m going to help you. I promise you that. But now I need you to calm down, okay. Deep breaths. In and out. Good. Now, I’m gonna draw you a bath, ok? It’ll help you to relax.”
And sober you up, he thought, but didn’t say it aloud. He opened the tap and the bathtub was filling itself with hot soapy water at an incredible speed. He helped Scorpius to undress, trying to dissemble how disturbing the sight of the jutting bones really where. He helped him to climb into the bathtub, after secretly making sure that nothing sharp was lying around, he asked: “Can I leave you alone for a bit or do you want me to stay?”
Scorpius smiled warily at him, “You can go. I’m not going to drown myself, I promise.”
Albus let out an annoyed huff, he hated when Scorpius talked like that. “Ok, then I’m in the kitchen, shout if you need me.”
Scorpius closed his eyes and lets himself sink deeper into the water.
After he had stashed away the knife, Albus was standing in the middle of the small kitchen, thinking about what to cook, that Scorpius actually would eat. He needed comfort food, but something easy to stomach. Albus decided to go for chicken broth. Thankfully he had learned how to cook from his grandmother, his own mother was a decent cook, but not great. When the soup nearly was finished, Scorpius walked in the kitchen. He was wearing pyjama bottoms and a long sleeved shirt.
“You cooking?” he still was holding on to his telegraphic style of talking that came with the exhaustion.
“Yes, sit down please, it’s ready in 5.”
“But I am not hungry Albus.” He protested.
“You are eating. And if I have to feed you, believe me I will! So sit down.”
“Uh, bossy.”
Albus knew that he was acting bossy and he was far from enjoying it, but he had found out a while ago, that in situations like this, it was easier for Scorpius to just follow the orders he was given. If he wasn’t able to take care of himself, someone else had to. Albus was watching Scorpius slowly finishing his soup. Finally, twenty minutes after Albus, Scorpius puts his empty bowl down on the table. Albus was thinking about how to approach the subject of Alexa and the whole disastrous relationship, without Scorpius becoming all worked up again. But it was Scorpius who started talking first.
“I think I need to break up with Alexa.” He said sadly. “I can’t do that anymore. I don’t want to.”
“And you shouldn’t.” Albus said sternly.
“But I’m scared. I’m scared Al. Alexa… she made me forget all my problems.”
“I don’t think she made you forget them, she showed you how to suppress them, with all the booze and the drugs. But you don’t have to study medicine- which you do, by the way, to know that what you are doing to yourself doesn’t help your mental health. Why do you think you relapsed? And correct me if I’m wrong, but this was not the first time this month, was it?”
“You are like a walking sneakoscope, you know that? You would have made a great Auror.” Scorpius tries to distract Albus.
“Nah, that’s what’s going to make me a great therapist.”
“Pfft, it’s like you enjoy surrounding yourself with crazy people.”
“Most of them are not crazy, not really, you know that.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Scorpius looks down at his hands. “What should I do now?”
“I’m sorry to say this, but you really should brake up with her. You two aren’t good for each other. And then you have to make an appointment with Mrs. Shaw.”
Scorpius therapist had married two years ago and now was Mrs. Alicia Shaw instead of Miss McKoy.
“Skip the drugs and drinking completely. Eat regularly, develop a sleep pattern again and attend your classes. And bloody hell, apologize to your parents and friends!”
Scorpius lets his head sink into his hands.
“I can’t do that, it’s too much” he whispers.
“Nonsense, I’m going to help you. You have to take step after step, ok? After this conversation I’m going to write to Alicia, to schedule an appointment for you. Talk to Alexa as soon as possible. For the next 21 days, you stay with me. No drugs, no alcohol. You’ll eat with me, at least two times a day. I’m not picking you up from Uni, you’re not seven anymore, I’ll trust you to go home afterwards or visit me at work, so we can go home together. You’re going to bed the same time I do, and you’ll rise with me in the morning. Are you willing to do that?”
Scorpius looked far from pleased but he nodded.
“I’m going to send an owl to Alicia now, so why don’t you pick out a movie to watch?”
Over the years of friendship with Scorpius and a year of working in the muggel world, he had gotten accustomed to nearly all the muggel stuff.
“Why are you doing all this for me?”
“Because you are my best friend.” Albus answered simply.
“I don’t deserve you.”
“True, but I’m sure you’ll make it up to me one day. We take turns.”
Albus remembered the hellish weeks after the brake up from his latest girlfriend, when Scorpius had done everything to coax him out of bed and keep him going, or the numerous late nights where he had helped him study. If he needed help, Scorpius would be there for him too.
And like that, Scorpius had taken step after step, to get his life back on track.
Albus shakes his head a little, to get rid of the memories.
“It wasn’t her fault I fell off the wagon.” Scorpius is currently saying, “I’m the only one responsible for my actions.”
Albus rolls his eyes. “That’s what I tell my kids everyday, but they don’t seem to understand this.”
Scorpius huffs, “They are kids, Al, they will understand it one day.”
Albus had been following in Mrs. Shaws footsteps and became somewhat between a healer and a therapist. So now he has some patients who visit him weekly at St. Mungos and three times a week he works for the Albus Dumbledore Shelter for children. Scorpius is a little sceptic of his best friend’s career choices, but as long as Albus is happy, he will not feel guilty for possibly being the source of Albus interest in the human psyche.
Scorpius holds two shirts in front of him. “Which one?”
Albus tilts his head. “The grey one, it’s lighter.”
Scorpius hums in agreement.
“Where’s she from again? Elsa I mean.”
“She’s from Germany.”
“Oh, right I remember. Which school did she go to?”
“It’s called the Gebrüder Grimm Institut für Zauberkunst.”
Albus begins to laugh what earns him a disapproval glance from Missy.
“What’s so funny?”
“Mate, I’m sure you mispronounced every word, it sounds so funny.”
“Might have. Scorpius grins. “I’m just glad Elsa speaks English. But maybe I’m going to learn a bit German as well.”
“You wish.”
“Do you think she will be ok with this? He asks, suddenly very serious.
“I’m sure she will be ok. She seemed totally into you.” Albus tries to reassure him. “You are really nervous about that, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am Albus. She’s absolutely perfect and I really want it to work out between us. So yeah, I’m really nervous to tell her that I’m a total headcase.”
Albus frowns at him. “You are not. Don’t talk yourself down, how many times do I have to tell you that?”
Scorpius hums dismissively.
“I thought you were more confident by now, you have no problem showing the scars to your staff.” Albus points out.
Scorpius feels uncomfortable at this direct mention of his scars. It’s ok for him to talk about them to Albus in an indirect manner, but not this blunt.
“Work is different” he mutters.
“How so?”
“They don’t affect my work. Nobody ever questioned my intelligence. My grades were good at school. I got into Kings College to study pharmaceutical science. And I have built a research team, who gets subsidized by the Ministry. So I don’t think it affects my work life that much.”
“But it affects your relationships?”
“It does.”
“Why?”
“You see, everyone is looking for stability in a relationship, at least I am. Someone you can rely on. A healthy mind and body, someone to raise kids with.”
“And what makes you think you can’t provide that? You are clean for three years now…”
“Two and a half” Scorpius interrupts him.
“Anyhow, I’m just saying, if you want that, family and all, you can have it. You are a great person, and as you just pointed out very successful job-related, and you look so much better in muggel clothes than I do. So no need to worry here, mate.”
Scorpius smiles and put his shoes on.
“Thanks Albus. I appreciate it. Ready to go?”
Albus nods and gets up from the bed, he tries to coax Missy to come to his own room with him. But the cat just purrs loudly and stays on the bed. She always prefers Scorpius room over Albus, maybe because it’s always a lot tidier, or because it is warmer in there, having the windows to the south side.
“Just let the door open then. Bye Missy.” The cat blinks lazily.
“Bye Albus, wish me luck.”
“You don’t need luck. But if it makes you happy: Good luck!”