Chapter Text
PART ONE
1
The snow was growing heavier, and Emil tucked his chin deeper into the new scarf looped around his neck. It had been an early gift from Anna. The wool was soft as silk against his skin, and clearly very expensive. Not only that--she'd had his initials embroidered on one corner, along with a small stylized flame. Time and thought must have gone into the gift, and now he was feeling guilty about the cookbook he had picked out for her mere hours before they'd gotten on the train to Mora. The bookshops in Östersund weren't the best stocked, so he had browsed the section for no more than a minute or two before grabbing the one with the best-looking cover and hurrying to the cash register.
She's always saying she loves cooking, though. He looked into a shop window as they walked past, studying the confections on display. If I can get away for a bit, maybe I can buy her a new pan or something here in Mora. I just have to find an excuse before the family dinner tomorrow...
Emil felt the corner of his mouth tighten. The family dinner. That family was exactly why he was freezing his ears off out here on the streets instead of sitting in front of a toasty fire somewhere--or, even better, tucked up in his own cozy apartment in Östersund. He'd tried suggesting to Anna that they spend jul at home this year, or only come down for a single night at most. And yet here he was--two nights into a week-long stay at Anna's parents' home in Mora. He let a silent sigh slip through his lips, too quiet to be heard on the bustling street, and caught sight of their paired reflection in the window glass.
The couple he saw mirrored in the window looked perfect together, walking hand-in-hand and illuminated by the yellow electric lights that ran along every major street in outer Mora. You two will have the most beautiful children. Anna's mother probably hadn't been wrong, but after two full days of hints and winks about her hopes that he and Anna would soon have a happy announcement to share with them, that comment had been the last straw for Emil. At the first chance he'd gotten, he'd suggested to his girlfriend that they go take a stroll through the city in all its holiday glory. But it was minus twelve centigrade according to the last thermometer he'd seen on the side of bank a few blocks back, and the seasonable flurries were quickly becoming a serious snowfall. Still Emil couldn't quite bring himself to turn back around toward Anna's childhood home. Out in the freezing air, he felt like he could breathe deeply for the first time in days.
Anna squeezed his hand, and he gave her an absent smile. At least she understood. She might not let him get out of visiting her family, but she didn't blame him for chafing at it. And she hadn't once said a word about how cold it was as he dragged her halfway across the city, though her cheeks were red and shining from the cold. She was a good girlfriend. He knew he was lucky to have her.
"Should we head back?" he asked at last. It was getting late anyway. Even if they turned back now, they could insist that they needed to turn in for the night and it would be true. That thought brought some relief, and he managed a sheepish smile as he admitted, "The snow is really starting to come down now."
"Oh, I suppose we should," she agreed, her pink lips twisting into knowing smile. "Though it is nice walking out in the city together. Östersund really doesn't compare." She let go of his hand to loop her arm through his, hugging his elbow tightly. "Have you thought any more about the recruitment job here in Mora? You wouldn't have to work in the field, and the pay they were offering was a real step up, wasn't it? Plus, we would get to live in Mora!"
Emil didn't answer. They'd talked about it before. Anna never pushed too hard, but she'd made it clear enough that she wanted him to take the job. He'd first been offered the position when he'd returned from Denmark nearly four years ago. The corps had obviously wanted to make him some sort of poster boy for the cleansers. He was the first Swede to take on the Silent World and survive, and he had come from among their own ranks. But refusing their offer had probably been the easiest task he'd tackled while readjusting to life in the relative safety of Sweden. The nightmares hadn't been as courteous as the recruiters--the latter had left him alone after a single "no," while the former had refused to leave him for months.
Now that the dreams had mostly abandoned him, it was the recruiters who were making a reappearance after all these years. They'd sent him a letter when he'd become a lieutenant the year before, congratulating him on his promotion and renewing their offer. When he'd been named a captain this summer, their congratulations and offer had both grown quite dramatically in scope.
Anna didn't seem to understand why he still refused. It probably wouldn't make sense to someone else. The amount they were offering was ridiculous for someone his age, especially considering how easy the work would be. She couldn't believe that he truly preferred a day spent sweating outdoors, his face half-broiled by the heat of the flames, to the idea of smiling at ignorant kids as he recounted tales of his "bravery" in the Silent World. But that was fine. Anna knew next to nothing about what had happened in the Silent World, and it was better that way.
Instead of responding to her question, Emil abruptly asked, "Your sister was arriving tonight, wasn't she?"
Anna blinked, trying to follow the sudden change of subject. "My...sister? Well, yeah, that's what Mom said." She peered closely at him, leaning forward to get a better look at his expression. She was quite aware of how much he hated it when her sister was around. Once Anna and her sister were together, they slipped into a world of their own. Everything they said was a reference to some shared memory or inside joke. Hardly a sentence ever made it to its conclusion, because the other either jumped in to finish it or they both burst out laughing. When Anna occasionally tried to include him, explaining some backstory or asking him what he thought about some bit of family gossip, it just grated worse. He honestly preferred being left out altogether, and letting his mind wander, if he couldn't find an excuse to physically leave the room.
"I dragged you out like this, so you didn't even get the chance to meet her tonight." He ran a hand through his hair, making the damp blond locks stand on end. He hadn't bothered with a cap when he'd practically fled from the house, and the snow had been steadily melting on his head. "I'm sorry. I know you're always saying you don't feel like you get enough time to talk, just the two of you, during these big family events."
It was mostly an excuse, but like all the best ones, it was based on some truth. Emil did feel bad about running away that night, but only because it was so pathetic. He put on a charming smile, shoving down the bitter feelings somewhere that Anna would never see them. "Why don't you two go out and fika or something tomorrow morning? Before everyone arrives for the julbord. Don't worry about me. I'll just kill time around town or something."
He saw the way Anna's brow furrowed. But was she upset that he was avoiding talking about the job? Or did she realize that he was trying to get rid of her the next day? If she did realize that his generous offer was not all that altruistic, he would be in trouble. It took little imagination to guess why a man might want to go out without his girlfriend on the morning of December 24. She would know that he was buying her a last-minute gift and would assume that he'd forgotten entirely. At this rate, I might to have to spring for something better than pans.
Emil wondered if it was time that he just gave in and bought her the ring she and her mother both wanted. We've been together over two years. She's a great woman. We almost never fight. So what am I waiting for? He didn't know--except that he didn't know that he wanted to get married either.
Grimacing internally at the thought of sparkling jewelry and price tags with an indecent number of zeros marching across them, he almost didn't notice at first the niggling thought tickling at the edge of his consciousness. But there was something demanding his attention. It was like a child's puzzle, where you had to spot the hidden object that didn't belong in a picture. Something didn't fit into his picture of the crowded shopping district in Mora. There was something that didn't belong in the cheery light pouring from the windows on either side of the street or beneath the small bulbs strung overhead and crisscrossing the road. Then, among the familiar chatter, he heard it: a strange, melodic language that he had all but forgotten. Someone was speaking Finnish.
He turned and searched the crowd. Out of all the thousands of Finnish people alive in the world, there was no reason to think that it might be one of the four in total that he had ever met--except that the voice sounded exactly like he remembered. His eyes hunted through the groups huddled together under the heavy black sky. Every other head was covered in a cap or hood, and clouds of steamy breath hovered around the faces of the people. His feet slowed and Anna stumbled to a stop beside him. There. Between an old couple and a group of four teenagers, he saw a pair straight out of his past. The woman was short and round, made even rounder by the thick jacket she wore. The man beside her was at least half a head taller and thin as a twig. He slunk through the streets like some nocturnal creature, twisting slightly to keep from bumping into any passersby as they wove their way through the other shoppers. Surely no one else moved quite like that. But it can't be...
Emil stared in something akin to distress as his feet took a step toward the pair of their own accord and a single word slipped out of him.
"Lalli?"