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Summary
'... if he hadn't witnessed the Pet Assassin Maintenance Crew using that thing to do dental work on the Soldier himself without getting their hands bitten off, he'd have to ask himself if SHIELD had a kinky bondage dungeon hidden away somewhere.'
The story of the first time the spider gag came out - cross-posted from the trash meme.
(or, the story of how 'Blood From A Stone' sent the plot bunnies running rampant once again)