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We've been building to this for a while now...

Summary:

The night after Pencil’s panic attack Golf Ball has some realizations: One, that Pencil needs more clothes. Two, that Pencil needs to eat more. And three, that they should probably talk.
Luckily, Golf Ball is a genius and she’s pretty sure she can solve all three issues.

Or: yearning girl wants to help other girl who also yearns

This follows part 1 of my series and while you don't have to read it'll make this fic make more sense!

Notes:

I'm not great when it comes to grammar so ignore any over usage of commas... it's always been my down fall.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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When Golf Ball wakes up she immediately feels uneasy. Eyes slowly opening and observing the room around hers. She slowly sits up and the blanket falls to pool around her waist, this is most definitely not her room. She remembers coming to talk to Pencil, and Pencil’s breakdown. Talking her through it and ultimately falling asleep together.

But Pencil’s not next to her now, and as Golf Ball presses her hand into the space next to her, it seems she’s been gone for a while. Golf Ball isn’t much of an early riser, tending to get sleep when she crashes rather than at a scheduled time. So it's never been a surprise when Pencil would wake before her. Although, Golf Ball did spend a while watching and making sure Pencil stayed asleep last night before eventually succumbing to sleep herself so she feels her sleeping in was a little justified.

Kicking off the rest of the blanket, Golf Ball swings her legs over the side of the bed. She wonders why Pencil left, in past encounters usually they’d stay in bed together until both of them were awake, sharing warmth and talking about plans for the day. Of course Golf Ball realizes this encounter isn’t exactly what they are used to. Post sex cuddling and an emotional breakdown are two very different things. But Golf Ball wished she was still here anyway she still wanted to talk about a few things.

Resolved and fully awake, she stands from the bed. Making her way to the closet she notes that the clothes from yesterday still litter the floor, she’ll pick those up in a minute. Golf Ball could care less about her room being a bit messy, she knows where everything important is, but Pencil has always liked a presentable room. As she swings the closet door open her first thought is ‘this is extremely empty’, a few t-shirts hang from old discolored hangers, 2 skirts that look like they're nowhere close to fitting Pencil hang off to the side.
There is one pair of jeans that are fraying at the inseams, and overall the closet looks bleak.

Golf Ball already looked through the chest of drawers yesterday but maybe she had some shorts or something in the bottom drawers. She turns to the drawers, the middle drawer is still open in the hasteiness of last night. Wherever Pencil ran off to it was definitely in a rush. Golf Ball closes the drawer and peeks into the bottom few and just like she thought: shorts. A stretchy gym-like material pair is at forefront and Golf Ball is glad to see them. Her legs were always thicker and chunkier in comparison to Pencil’s smooth long ones, so she’s hoping these fit okay, she just needs clothes to walk back to her room and she doesn’t really plan on seeing or talking to anyone in the meantime. Golf Ball slips the gym shorts up her legs tugging them into place, ‘ a bit too tight, but it's a short walk’. Her thighs spill out the ends creating a dip where her skin meets the fabric, it threatening to roll up under the pressure. She peaks into the vanity mirror across the room, ‘yea, it’ll do for now’, she nods.

Given the fact that Pencil’s not here it really gives Golf Ball a chance to really look at her room, it’s nothing like her van. The van was always decked out, the dashboard cluttered in nicknacks. Visors clipped with countless photos, led lights strung all the way through the van. They didn’t really have accommodations in the prior games, if the challenges were near something, a town or some sort, they’d grab a room somewhere, or some contestants camped near the grounds, Leafy was always one to prefer the night sky. Golf Ball remembers seeing her out there on nights when Tennis Ball and her wanted to chart stars and distances. Back then they didn’t have a ton of personal space, they all have had a couple of rooms here and there, and Golf Ball had a spare room for herself in her lab. Pencil’s habits always varied, staying in hotel rooms for months, to sleeping in her van other times. Either way she was neat and decorative, her room reflected herself and was usually colorful and full of pieces of her day to day life. Golf Ball’s eyes roam over the mess of clothes on the floor from last night, to the nightstand littered with used towelettes and the half eaten soup, and then just around the room in general. Golf Ball would have to talk to Two about putting more stuff in here for her, she already had mentioned how nice a vanity would be for her and gave Two the blanket that’s thrown across the bed. But even more so than furniture or beddings, Pencil used to have clothes practically spilling out of her closet, now it’s all mismatched and doesn’t fit, and that didn’t sit right with Golf Ball. Eventually she sighs and gets to work.

Taking the clothes off the floor she sets hers aside to take back with her and places Pencil’s used clothes in a basket in her closet, the basket was empty and at this point she’s just guessing it’s for dirty clothes. Then she gathers up the wipes pushing them into the bowl of soup, they instantly soak up what’s left in the bowl. She quickly pulls up the covers, hiding evidence of a good night’s rest, gathers her clothes, shoves them under her arm and grabs the bowl with the same hand. ‘Alright, hopefully that’s good enough’ she thinks, making her way to the door.

Her hand grips the knob and as she opens the door she turns around one last time. She left the wipes on the nightstand and somehow that’s the only real evidence that the room was even in use at all.

Closing the door behind her she starts to categorize her day. After stopping by her room to change she needs to drop off the bowl and trash to the kitchen. Maybe later after she talks to Black Hole and Tennis Ball she can track down Pencil and talk to her for a bit. As much as she’d like to focus on potentially talking to Pencil about their past, how she feels, how Pencil feels, Golf Ball wants to plan out what to say. Give her a chance to talk about last night first. She wants to give Pencil a bit of time as well. Golf Ball knows Pencil wasn’t exactly herself last night, and she doesn’t exactly know what she’s feeling or thinking at this moment, because of that she wants to at least allow her to think about everything that’s happened leading up to last night and Golf Ball’s part in it all.

Golf Ball has never seen Pencil like that. She’s usually a whirlwind of anger, funniness, and, well, sometimes grace. Even before last night, she hasn’t recently been much of those things. The anger was there, she’s quick to fly off the handle but this, her now, is leagues above that. There’s also this fear, a change in her eyes every time she sees Four, X, or Two. Golf Ball isn’t versed in mental health issues, she knows most of the contestants would benefit from some sort of psychoanalysis, one of her more obsessed with murder teammates included. That brings Golf Ball to the root of it. Pencil has some sort of trauma relating to her time away, and though she hasn’t spoken about it, whatever she went through was hard, and ultimately she struggled to escape, twice. There also seems to be something up with her friends, the freesmarters have rotated through teammates a few times but this is the first time that she’s seen Book react like that. What could possibly have happened to split them apart like that Golf Ball wonders heading for the stairs, Pencil’s room was on one of the higher floors as they filled them from the bottom up, Golf Ball had a few flights to walk down to reach her room. ‘Whatever they fought about it still eats them both up’ Golf Ball thinks. She’s seen Book look at Pencil when Pencil has walked away rejected from hanging out with Book again. Don’t get Golf Ball wrong there is definitely anger in her eyes but there is also something else.

Golf Ball wouldn’t say she’s the best at understanding how others feel. In fact, it seems the only other person she seems to understand is Pencil, and that took an embarrassingly long amount of time. And, maybe, had something to do with Pencil’s tongue in her mouth. But that’s a story for another time.

Making her down to the lower floors she notices someone standing by her door hand raised into a fist, preparing to knock.

“Ah, Tennis Ball, what brings you to my door this early in the morning?” She grumbles out, she was hoping to make it back without anyone witnessing her attire.

He turns around to meet Golf Ball eyes, a weird look passes through his eyes as he takes her appearance in but he doesn’t comment on her attire.

“Golfie, it’s like almost noon. I’ve been knocking for the past 5 minutes, where were you?” Golf Ball thinks his voice sounds a bit rushed and urgent. She presses her lips together in thought debating how to avoid talking about her night with Pencil. With Tennis Ball asking the questions, it would take either a really in detail straight forward response to get him to understand or they’d be there for eternity talking in circles. Tennis Ball is even worse than Golf Ball when it comes to understanding or seeing feelings of any kind.

Golf Ball remembers the time Firey and Leafy broke up. While she didn’t witness all of that first hand she remembers having to explain it all to Tennis Ball, well actually Pencil did most of the talking that day. She revelled in the fact that Tennis Ball couldn’t tell the difference in what a normal pair of friends looks like versus 2 people that have definitely explored each other's bodies. Later the same day he found Pencil and her making out in the lab, which was a whole other issue given that the relationship between Pencil and her is entirely different than the others.

Golf Ball realizes she must have been quiet for too long,Tennis Ball is looking at her weirdly.

“Uh, what’s with the bowl of yellow tissues? And why are you carrying clothes?” His face scrunches in confusion, tight coils of hair bobbing around when he tilts his head. His hands are waving and Golf Ball really doesn’t want to have this conversation right now.

“Listen TB, I was going to come find you a little bit later in the day, is this important?” Golf Ball tries to reason with him, she feels a bit gross and wants a shower, and she still needs to drop by the kitchen not just to drop off the slowly rotting soup in her hands but she wants to talk to Four, and Two, and maybe grab a bite to eat herself.

Tennis Ball releases a loud sigh, raising his hands and pushing them through his curls. Now that she looks at him, he does seem disheveled, his shirt buttoned off centered and jacket hanging loose at his elbows instead of pulled up to his shoulders, he’s not even wearing shoes.

“I honestly don’t know, Black Hole has been a big help monitoring the rift in the sky, but he swears it got bigger overnight. Personally I think there is no way it could have been. We haven’t done anything regarding the timelines; so it should remain stable, not growing or shrinking until a force puts it back in motion” His hands move towards the ends of his curls yanking the coils into tight thick strands. “I guess I’m worried about it and wanted your opinion on this as soon as possible. We haven’t studied enough about yoyleite to be able to say for sure what lasting effects it has, the time travel aside, Two’s been making the challenges happen in quicker succession and with the free time we have we should be focused on solving how to fix the sky.” He squeaks out, breath running so low by the end he sounds like a deflating balloon.

Golf Ball stares at him a bit longer, she guesses she’s not getting that shower this morning. A sigh leaves her mouth at the realization. “TB, just let me get dressed, and stop by the kitchen then we can head to your room, ok? I really don’t think Two will let the world end before this game is over. But I do think we should take the chance to continue to monitor the rift and analyze the remaining unpowered yoyleite shards”

Tennis Ball nods and steps aside finally taking the time to straighten his appearance pulling the jacket tighter around his body. “Yea I can do that, I’ll just meet you in the kitchen after you do what you need to do,uh take your time”, he states walking towards stairs, patting Golf Ball’s shoulder as he continues past her.

Golf Ball doesn’t look back as she strides to her own door throwing it open and closing it a bit to harsh, ‘god I wish I could have hid in Pencil’s bed a bit longer’ she thinks depositing the clothes under her arm into a basket by the door and setting the bowl on her nightstand. It’s not like she doesn’t care, she very much doesn’t want the world to end. She just thinks the chances of it occurring are slim to none given the amount of people around with powers that could stop it. Tennis Ball can sometimes be a bit much for her sometimes. They are definitely best friends and she helped him grow into a great inventor, but then he struggled with comparing himself to her and feeling a need to prove that his inventions worked. That strained their relationship for a while. She still sometimes prefers to stay out of some of his inventions, not even wanting to see the final result, Tennis Ball hands her compiled results either way, they record everything to look back on or to possible help in a future scenario. This morning just felt like a lot, she was already trying to figure out what was going on with Pencil, but she won’t leave Tennis Ball to his own devices in his current panic. Pencil left Golf Ball this morning so Golf Ball is pretty sure Pencil won’t maybe talking…later in the day than Golf Ball originally planned.

Pencil was not doing great. This morning she woke up in a loose embrace, warm limbs tangled with hers and a warm wet breath hitting her neck. It took a moment to regain her memories from the night before, even when she put together a timeline it was blurry, she didn’t feel like she experienced any of that herself. Pencil stares down Golf Ball’s hair, grey strands curled in every which direction,’god she always has the worst bed head’ Pencil thinks raising a hand to push through the mess. Golf Ball makes a small noise and buries her face more into Pencil’s chest, which was another thing, Pencil remembers their positions being reversed before, she ends up chalking it up to Golf Ball’s restlessness even when she sleeps. She likes to fidget, play with her hands or hair, especially when she’s concentrating, Pencil thinks she looks cute when she does that.

Although she feels embarrassed about the previous night, she finally got a solid amount of rest. It's morning and she didn’t wake up a single time throughout the night. She’d call that a successful sleep if it didn’t come with caveats. She also doesn’t feel in a rush but she needs to get a move on before Golf Ball decides to get up. Look it’s not that she’s afraid of being here when she wakes up. it ‘s more she’s not ready for Golf Ball’s concern, the questions she’ll have. And ultimately it’s the thought of having to be vulnerable with Golf Ball again that has her moving.

Slowly unwedging her leg from Golf Ball’s thighs, despite the blanket still across them she feels cold without the comfort the other’s body provided. Legs free she slowly removes her upper body from Golf Ball’s grasp. It’s easier than she thought it would be. Golf Ball probably needed some rest too then, she’s usually got a tighter grip when sleeping. Finally extracted from Golf Ball she slips out from under the blanket and heads for her closet. Her feet make contact with hers and Golf Ball’s clothes from the night before on the way, she idly kicks them and continues to her destination. Her closet is empty and she decides the shirt she’s wearing now isn’t too bad to continue wearing, she reaches for the one of two pairs of frayed old jeans at the back of the closet and heads to the bathroom. Luckily each person does get their own bathroom, she doesn’t think she could handle sharing a bathroom with some of the other contestants and their probably gross habits.

The bathroom lights are a soft yellow and yet still hurt her eyes as she adjusts to it. The mirror is long and the countertops are covered in a thin layer of dust, she turns on the sink and stares at the bags under her eyes. They are slightly lighter than yesterday, but the rest of her appearance is what really makes her grimace. What she wouldn’t do for some bleach, for real. In a basic attempt of normalcy she manages to conduct her morning routine to some degree. Brushing out the tangles in her hair, brushing her teeth, she even washed her face. Although she doesn’t have any moisturizer and had to use hand soap for the whole process she feels cleaner. Back in the day Match and her created the perfect multi-step routine that always left all the freesmarters’ faces glowing, and Golf Ball’s too, on the rare occasion she could force her to complete it with her.

Dressed and more or less cleaned up she heads back out into her room, Golf Ball must have gotten too hot. The blanket somehow made its way to the edge of the bed and the main culprits are splayed out and bend into weird angles that don’t look even remotely comfortable to sleep in. As Pencil approaches the bed she can see the relaxed look on her face, her breathing steady, and a tiny bit of drool by her mouth. Pencil can’t help the small smile that falls on her face while watching her sleep so peacefully, and maybe if things were different between them she wouldn’t hesitate to climb back in bed with her. But the consequences of last night keep her rooted by the bed. Years ago this would have been easier, she wasn’t afraid of going after what she wanted back then. Taunting Golf Ball into a game of cat and mouse, Somehow getting chased and chasing at the same time. But now she’s unsure where they stand. She likes Golf Ball or she did, and she still wants hers and probably always will. But time can change a lot of things, was this the same Golf Ball? She definitely wasn’t the same Pencil, how could she be. Golf Ball’s head moves slightly and it jumps Pencil back to the present, ‘right I should get going’, she resolves. Before she can second guess herself she reaches for the blanket at the edge of the bed intending to fix it.

Dragging the blanket up Golf Ball’s form Pencil takes her in, she’s always been beautiful. Her legs are short, soft looking, and thick. They led into her waist where her sleep wear has risen up. Golf Ball usually doesn’t care much for clothes and it shows in everything she wears, including the bland light pink fabric covering from the tops of her thighs and ending right below her navel. Pencil moves her eyes quickly past it and to the sliver of skin the shirt left behind. It exposes her navel and her skin below her breasts. Pencil wants to reach out and touch it, she knows doing so would be a bad idea for many reasons. But mostly Pencil told herself if she ever did get back, and if Golf Ball wanted to, they could perhaps talk about their future together and Pencil doesn’t want to rush that conversation. She finishes pulling the blanket back up and over Golf Ball, quickly turning her back to her and walking towards the door.

‘Alright Pencil let’s try again today. Book might be open to talking again, who knows? Then maybe I can catch the kitchen free of those pesky algebraliens.’ She pep talks herself up and heads out for the day.

~~~

Pencil wouldn’t say today has gone exactly as planned. She hasn’t been able to even get near Book and the kitchen never seems to be empty. Hungry and tired she thinks she’s going to try a shower before she tries again for food, hopefully dinner is winding down by then.

And to make things worse she’s caught Golf Ball’s eye multiple times today, her concerning side eyes and her constant hovering. Everytime she’d get too close Pencil would shoot off in another direction. Pencil thinks they should probably talk, it’s not that Pencil is totally against it. She’s somehow afraid to do it and ready for it to be over with. Pencil has had the whole day to think, and she’s sure Golf Ball is way too busy to be involving herself with her again and that’s just got to be something Pencil accepts, along with everything else. The hard truth alone makes her chest feel tight again.

‘No. I won’t let what happened yesterday happen again’, she repeats in her brain. Pencil feels so pulled into each direction, as if her body and mind can’t agree. She can’t even seem to know the words that will leave her mouth each time she talks. Pencil knows that according to some of her friends she’s not the ‘best’ person around and maybe it’s the fear that Golf Ball sees her the same way that keeps her from facing her. Or maybe Pencil’s trying to protect Golf Ball from having to saddle herself with a broken mess. Pencil is self aware enough to understand that Golf Ball may believe that Pencil is too much to deal with right now, she thinks she herself is too much, so who could blame Golf Ball if that was her choice. Every time that Golf Ball turns towards her, Pencil wonders if she lets her close enough, if she lets Golf Ball ask her to talk, that it’ll end with her alone. And gods she can’t be alone again, even if she keeps saying she’ll accept Golf Ball’s decision.

But there at her door is Golf Ball who she was sure she just saw down at the dining tables.

“You’ve been avoiding me Pencil.” Her voice scratches over her ears and it eats away the uncertainty in her mind. Golf Ball wasn’t letting Pencil hide away forever. She wanted a new beginning for them, one that wasn’t laced with fake hostility, and keeping up pretenses. Golf Ball wants to know her more, share soft moments, be there for her, and hold her more.

“I wasn't, I'm just a busy person you know, I have things to work on. The freesmart van is in terrible condition, I don’t know who has been driving it but did you know the radio is broken in there. That’s a hard fix, it looks like someone thought shoving glue in there would fix it and the wires are all stuck together, the thing smokes when it’s turned on. Not only that, I wanted to add some stuff to the party house I rebuilt, for when uh…for when Book comes back.” Her voice trails off at the end. Knowing this is exactly why she didn’t want to talk to Golf Ball, she easily spills things she doesn’t want to. Like her mask just magically comes down when the other’s eyes are on her.

“Tennis Ball and I would be more than happy to help you fix the radio, or even just me.”

“I thought you might be busy, didn’t want to bother you with all… of this”

‘Yikes this is awkward’, Pencil thinks, bringing one of her arms to her other. Rubbing her hand against her upper arm and looking off. There is an uncomfortable silence between them.

“Uh listen, I was actually on my way to shower so-” Pencil starts her getaway.

“Can we talk? I mean not even about last night, just maybe in general?” Golf Ball voice squeaks out. She seems nervous, a bit too much given that Pencil is the one who had a breakdown last night that she can’t even fully remember.

“Sure, why not” Pencil says, resolving to her fate. She guesses this is the beginning of the end for her and Golf Ball, everyone else has already said their piece why wouldn’t Golf Ball do the same. Pencil is rarely nice to her. There were a few times before Pencil was locked away for 6 years it seemed like they were different, perhaps moving towards a change in their relationship. Harsh words left a joking impression instead of a bite, teasing felt natural and low stakes. But that was a long time ago, and this is now and although Golf Ball seems to not have changed, Pencil feels like she has. She had the time in isolation, in The Exit, that gave her too much time to think, she doesn’t know how to joke anymore, to tease, everything in the past feels distant and uncanny.

“Can we go inside your room?” Golf Ball gestures behind her.

“Oh yeah, uh right, sure” Pencil breathes out, quickly walking towards her door, her arm brushing against Golf Ball as she squeezes in between her and the door. She swings the door open with too much gusto and it makes a hard clash when the knob bangs into the wall behind it. Pencil grimaces as she hears it.

Pencil makes her way to her bed, the only real place to sit in here given its barely filled with the basic essentials. As she lowers herself onto the bed, leaning her back against the wall and bringing her knees into her chest, essentially curled into a ball form, but hey at least Golf Ball had a ton of seating room.
Speaking of, Pencil can see Golf Ball out of the corner of her eye. She is messing with the door, shifting a bag,or two bags? Between her hands. ‘whatever ‘ Pencil thinks. Her room looks a lot neater than when she left it. And the realization that Golf Ball must have cleaned up after everything leaves her feeling ashamed and somewhat cared for in a way she didn’t think Golf Ball could feel for her anymore.

Golf Ball makes her way to the bed, setting one bag by the bed and another on it, right in front of Pencil’s legs. She plops down on the other side of the bag, straight across from Pencil, rustling through it and producing a few containers. The empty bag makes its way down on the ground next to the other mysterious bag. “I didn’t see you eat lunch and it’s dinner time now so I thought we could eat together. I made sandwiches, turkey and mayo for you and ham for me” Golf Ball says balancing a container on Pencil’s knees waiting for her to grab it.

“Oh, yea, thanks. This is..thank you. I haven't been able to make it to the kitchen today” Pencil struggles to reply, taking the container from Golf Ball’s hands. Their hands brush together and Pencil can feel how warm they are and remembers how they held her tight less than 24 hours ago. She lets her legs fall to her sides and brings the container out of Golf Ball’s hands completely and into her lap.

“Do you want to talk about last night or?” Golf Ball questions biting into her own meal. Golf Ball is already sure of the answer to this but she asks anyway just in case. But Pencil is never one for being vulnerable, not in the company of others at least.

“I think I’m okay, I guess it was cool of you to stay with me…and stuff”, the tension between them is awkward and neither of them know quite the best way to move past the elephant in the room.

Golf Ball swallows down another bite of her sandwich, when she came up here yesterday she was so sure of herself. Pencil was always the one moving them forward and Golf Ball wanted to take charge of that this time. She’s arguably the best team leader in the world, but talking to a girl you like about liking her, somehow, is the hardest thing on the planet.

“Not really. I’m fine now, it doesn’t matter and it’s not gonna happen again so” Pencil grumbles out, chewing a bit harsher on her next bite. “Well, actually, it could. Bottling up the way your feeling up can lead to…uh nevermind. I told myself if you weren’t ready I wouldn’t push you.” Golf Ball finishes up her meal and starts brushing the crumbles off her and the blanket.

“Oh how noble of you.” Pencil takes a breath, “looking down on me and thinking you’re better than me? Acting like you’re so in tune with the way you feel. It’s laughable when you’ve never seen what’s obviously in front of you and now you want to help me discuss the way I feel? Fat chance.” and this is exactly the type of thing she didn’t want to say to Golf Ball, part of the reason she wanted to avoid her.

Golf Ball sighs heavily, if this was years ago or hell even a few months ago a comment like that would have had her immediately on the defensive but not anymore and not with Pencil. “You know that’s not what I think. And regardless of if you wanted to talk about it I just… I wanted you to know that I- or all of us, your teammates are here for you. That it would be okay if you depended on us. That’s part of what I wanted to tell you last night.”

“But if you aren’t ready for that it’s fine. I wanted you to hear this either way. Pencil you aren’t in Four’s mind anymore. You’re here, in the real world, with people who don’t care about your past, or the rest of the freesmarters. We care about you, the Pencil who is here in front of us, the one trying to readjust to this life, and the one who’s on our team and going to help lead us to the finals.” In a moment of bravery Golf Ball grabs one of Pencil’s hand, her half eaten sandwich dangles from her other hand, jaw dropped in shock and eyes wide.

“And there’s more. Before everything happened. I don’t know if you noticed but things felt different…” Golf Ball takes another deep breath and Pencil is reeling. There is no way Golf Ball is actually going to bring up their fling, they never acknowledged fully any part of it. Pencil started making moves on Golf Ball years ago and she just went with it.

Golf Ball squeezes Pencil’s hand. Pencil drops the sandwich, it plops down into the container below. “I uh, back then, I wanted to try and see if we could try something new” Golf Ball continues on, “Things are obviously a bit different now, but when I saw you again after all that time.. Listen, I'm obviously not great at this, the point is. I liked you back then, after you got eliminated I realized I felt a lot for you, more than I've ever felt for another person. It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten to talk regularly but I was hoping we could maybe, try to be uh- more than what we were? What I mean is would you like to go out with me sometime? No pressure but I’m sure I still have feelings for you. There’s too much uncertainty in our futures and seeing people we care about disappear in the blink of an eye…And I just don’t want to be on that end again. Here, without you knowing or without me trying my best to have something solid with you. I think we deserve to have something good in this competition.” Golf Ball's eyes sweep up to meet Pencil’s who looks like she’s gotten over her shock and is thinking deeply about Golf Ball’s confession.

“And if we make it further in the game, what if there comes a time where we are against each other?” Pencil whispers in the space between them. Her past with the freesmarters, the blank parts in the complete story of how everything fell apart seems to influence her words.

“Then we talk about it. And it’s not like we haven’t been upset with each other before, I think if there’s another person out there who can handle the good and bad of you, of me, it’s each other” Golf Ball’s response is quick and she tugs Pencils hand into the space between them, a point in her favor.

“And if the day comes where one of us is eliminated? Some old contestants are still missing and the others are stuck, wherever Two puts them.” Pencil leans in as speaks still soft and unsure.

“We haven’t managed to shake each other yet, but, if one of us does get eliminated, the other one just has to win. Gain the limitless power Two is offering and track the other down.” She answers seamlessly tugging again at Pencil’s hand pulling it across the space and into her lap.

“A bit cocky aren’t you? I haven't agreed to going out with you yet. I haven’t even said I like you” The taller girl teases back, and Pencil thinks maybe she hasn’t changed as much as she thinks. Golf Ball revives the urges to taunt, smile, and laugh.

Golf Ball tugs Pencil’s hand one last time, pulling it slightly up and tilting Pencil’s at an angle with her fingers. It causes Pencil’s hand to slip and Golf Ball uses the sliding motion and weasel her fingers in between Pencil’s and folding over them, stopping the other girl’s fingers from failing out of Golf Ball’s embrace. Game, set, match.

“You know it took me a long time to understand that you were baiting me into a physical relationship. And even longer to realize we had become friends outside of that. But I don’t think I’m wrong about this. And even if you don’t want to or don’t feel the same, that's fine. I’ll still be here for you.” Golf Ball finishes and the room becomes silent but her words echo in Pencil’s mind.

Realistically, there is no universe in which Pencil denies Golf Ball. She always had way too much time in The Exit, too much time to think, and with most things Pencil thought about people, Match, Book, Bubble, Ice Cube, even Ruby sometimes. Which means of course she thought about Golf Ball, how could she not, when she took a chance and kissed Golf Ball that day it changed her life. Granted she didn’t really plan for that to happen, well she did but she didn’t plan for anything past a quick hook up. But then Golf Ball provided a different perspective than she was used to. There was a difference in the conversations she felt like she could have with her than with her friends. Golf Ball would help her with small projects if they had some free time, and Pencil would stop by just to bug Golf Ball while she wrote notes. And so of course lines started to blur and they ended up in a weird state of hook up buddies with benefits to almost dating?

“I like you, Golf Ball. I don’t know if it’s more than that and there are things a lot bigger than us happening right now, but if you want me, even in this state, I want you.”

“So… is that a yes?” Golf Ball’s words are followed by her free hand moving to Pencil’s cheek. She can feel the warmth coloring them, growing a shade darker at the contact.

“Don’t be a smartass. Yes of course I’ll go out with you” Pencil leans her head into Golf Ball’s hand. It’s a tender and sweet moment, one that Golf Ball wants to extend as long as possible. Taking the same chance Pencil did many years ago, she leans into the space between them and places her lips against the other girl’s.

Pencil’s lips are rough and dry, not a total surprise to Golf Ball given her rapid decline in self care. They tickle her own lips as she parts them, nudging her lips against Pencil’s slightly before moving away. It was an innocent kiss, painfully so in comparison to their past but it still has both their hearts quickening.

“I know you said you were gonna shower but do you think you have time for one more gift before then?” The question flows out of Golf Ball’s mouth and into the small space separating their lips from touching again.

“What, you wanna join me or something?” Pencil teases and it’s so her that it makes Golf Ball laugh a bit.

“Why don’t we save that for another time, here take this instead” Golf Ball starts to pull away. She untangles their hands and leans over the side of the bed to grab the other bag.

“I know that you don’t have a lot here, but I had some time to gather stuff to have here. Although I didn’t know these would come in handy when I brought them, I think it’s about time they make it back to you.” Golf Ball places the bag into Pencil’s lap and when she looks down she feels like crying.

The bag isn’t too big but inside contains a treasure trove for Pencil. She recognizes the contents easily. There are a couple of shirts, sweater vests, pleated skirts, and even some bell bottoms. It’s not a lot but to Pencil at this moment, it’s everything.

“They may not fit perfectly, you lost some weight, but I think I can spare some fabric if you need to fashion a belt of some sort. And I’m sure that-” Golf Ball doesn’t get to finish her sentence as Pencil dives head first across that space between them barreling into Golf Ball’s neck, arms wrapping around her person squeezing as she whispers, “Thank you Golf Ball.”

Pencil wasn’t okay, and she still has a long road ahead of her, but Golf Ball is a steady unmoveable force next to her. For now this seems like enough.

Notes:

I'm not super great at writing longer one shots....or writing in general but I hope this didn't seem to uh stilted or awkward. I hope I was able to get across the yearning as well as I hoped. I have more plans for next time, until then.

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