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It was strange, waking up in the twenty-first century. Technically, he had been born during the era, but it was still strange. One day, you’re the youngest CEO of the largest mining company, grumbling over coal and silver excavations, and the next, you’re the reincarnated soul of a dwarven king. He was as much Thorin Durinson as he was Thorin Oakenshield. Thorin knew that though he was successful, he had a family and friends to find. And also, a burglar. He pulled out his iPhone and found the contact he was looking for. The phone rang twice before a thrice damned wizard answered.
“Yes Mr.Durinson?” He asked.
“I remember Gandalf. And I wish to have words with you.” Thorin replied.
Gandalf huffed.
“Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves.” Gandalf said, causing Thorin to smile.
They met in a small park, Gandalf sitting on a bench casually while Thorin sat stiff as a board.
“How long have you known?” Thorin finally asked.
“Ever since I spoke my first word.” Gandalf replied. “It was ‘wizard’.”
Thorin frowned.
“Does anyone else remember? Has anyone else tried to contact you?” Thorin asked.
Does our Burglar remember? Was what Thorin was truly asking. Gandalf hummed as he pulled out a wooden pipe, looking very much out of place and still right.
“There’s a lovely café near Erid Luin University. I think it would be best if you visit it.” Gandalf said.
Thorin’s frown etched itself deeper. Seems like some things would never change. When Thorin got home, he was tackled to the ground by his two nephews. All three laughed hysterically as they felt reunited. They talked for several hours, before Thorin brought up his conversation with the wizard.
“What café?” Kili asked.
“Take a wild guess.” Fili said, his laptop already out.
Fili turned it around for his brother and uncle to see. They both let out breathy laughs as they smiled.
“Of course.” Thorin said, touching the screen.
The next day, Thorin was sure he was going to lose his breakfast as Fili drove to the location. When they arrived, Thorin stared at the bright green sign.
“Bag End: Café and Books.” Kili read aloud.
“By my beard.” Someone said behind them.
All three Durinson’s turned just in time to be tackled into the biggest bear hug in the world.
“Mister Dwalin.” Kili breathed, patting the older man on the back.
“It’s good to see you again laddie.” Balin’s voice came from behind his brother.
“Hullo there lads!” Another familiar voice called.
They turned to see Bofur, his brother Bombur, and cousin Bifur walking up the street, waving at them enthusiastically.
“Don’t forget about us!” Dori called, coming down the other way with Ori and Nori in tow.
Everyone had similar smiles on their face.
“This is fantastic!” Kili crowed.
“The entire company is here.” Fili said, his eyes scanning everyone.
“Not everyone.” Balin said.
They all turned as one to gaze at the sign. Thorin gulped.
“It’s now or never.” Dwalin drawled, placing a reassuring hand on his friends shoulder.
Thorin nodded and pushed the door open, the little bell ringing above his head. He didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the black haired girl squeaking in surprise. All stood frozen for a moment, just staring and observing each other. This would have gone on, if not for an enraged cry coming from the back.
“Arianna! You lazy lob! Why are you not back here-” The person yelled, coming into view.
Thorin paled at the sight and thought he would faint. With honey-copper curls tied back in a ponytail, a cream colored shirt, green vest, brown skirt with matching brown flats, the girl looked at them.
“Oh! Sorry about that. Welcome to Bag End!” She said cheerily.
A unitary and audible gulp was heard. The girl looked at them confused, until her eyes grew as wide as dinner plates.
“Little Fili?” She asked, a smile growing on her face.
Everyone looked to Fili, who had an expression of recognition.
“Bilbo?” Fili asked in disbelief.
Everyone flinched and Thorin thought the floor was going to fall from underneath his feet. She came around the counter and stood proudly in front of him.
“At your service!” She said, bowing and her ponytail flopping over her head.
“You two know each other?” Kili asked, pointing at his brother and the girl.
“Of course! I met little Fili six years ago when he got lost at the museum!” The girl said.
She looked at Kili and gave him a smile.
“And you must be Kili, his little brother. Fili wouldn’t stop talking about you when we met.” She extended her hand to him. “Bilberrie Baggins. Pleasure to meet you!”
Everyone sucked in a breath at the name “Baggins”. Kili absently took her hand, which she shook with vigor much to everyone’s surprise.
“Well, don’t just stand there! Follow me to the back and we can get this meeting started.” Bilberrie said, turning and motioning the group to follow.
Thorin’s brain finally caught up with him as he worked his jaw to form words.
“Meeting? What meeting?” Thorin asked.
The girl stopped, turning back to look at them with confusion.
“Aren’t you the book club Mr.Grey told me about? ‘The Company of Oakenshield’?” Bilberrie asked.
Thorin’s eyes widened. That meddlesome wizard.
“We are lass. Why don’t you lead the way Miss Baggins?” Balin said smoothly.
“Please, call me Bilbo! Fili already does it. And it’s right this way.” She said, pointing to an open door.
They followed her obediently to a back room. Dwalin whistled at the stacks of books as Bilbo led them to another room with several chairs, snacks, and drinks set up.
“I didn’t know how many there were, so I brought as much as I could. If you’re still hungry or want a bit of coffee, I’m sure Arianna would be happy to serve you.” She said, with a genuine smile.
“Nah. This’ll be enough for us.” Bofur said, taking a seat.
The others followed suit. Thorin automatically took the seat next to Bilbo as she sat down.
“Why don’t we start with introductions?” Bilbo asked.
She turned to her left, where Fili was seated.
“Fili.” He said.
“And Kili.” His brother added.
“At your service!” They crowed in unison, giving a bow in their chairs, much to Bilbo’s delight.
“Funny how your name’s rhyme.” Bilbo mused with smile.
It disappeared for a moment into confusion, before she shook her head and smiled once more. She looked past the brother’s to the next person.
“Dwalin Fundinson.” He drawled, giving a small nod.
“And Balin Fundinson.” He greeted, giving a warm smile.
“Gloin Groison.” He shouted.
“Oin Groison!” He yelled, louder than his brother.
“Bofur Urson!” He greeted cheerily.
“Bombur Urson, and our cousin Bifur Urson.” He said, gesturing to his cousin.
Bifur stood and gave Bilbo a dramatic bow. Bilbo bit her lip in delight, before giving a small laugh.
“Dori Rison.” The elderly greeted.
“Nori Rison.” He winked, Bilbo trying to look unimpressed, but failed.
“Ori Rison.” The youngest greeted
Bilbo turned her undivided attention to Thorin, her blue eyes wide and curious. Thorin sucked in a breath and the sheer intensity.
“Thorin. Thorin Durinson.” He said.
Bilbo’s eyes widened as she visibly paled.
“Thorin Durinson? CEO of Erebor United?” She asked.
Thorin stared at her.
“You know of me?” Thorin asked.
“Well, you’re on the news enough and a hot topic for the web. I don’t think there’s a soul out there who doesn’t know your name.” Bilbo said, pointing to the door. “Never would’ve taken you for a Fantasy fan.”
Thorin frowned as Fili and Kili began to snicker.
“What do you mean?” Thorin asked, absolutely confused.
“Oh! So, you’re only here for Fili and Kili then?” Bilbo asked, turning her head to the side in a curious way.
Thorin’s frown etched itself deeper. It must have looked like a scowl, because Bilbo seemed to shrink into herself.
“I think what Thorin means is, why are we here?” Balin asked.
“Oh!” Bilbo exclaimed in understanding. “Well, Mr.Grey had said ‘The Company of Oakenshield’ was a Fantasy Book and Writing club. He had scheduled your meeting here for me because… Well, I’d like to join.”
They gawked at her.
“Fantasy book and writing club?” Bofur asked.
“Yes! Are only a few of you members? I really wanted to get some of my work reviewed by you, to see if it met with par.” Bilbo said, twisting her hands in her skirt.
All looked to Thorin. He took in a breath and sighed.
“We will take a look.” Thorin said.
The smile she gave him was absolutely blinding and Thorin had to fight the urge to just wrap his arms around her. Here was their Burglar, alive, healthy, and a woman. Thorin had secretly wished that Bilbo was a girl so they could raise a family together. Maybe, this was the Valar’s way of giving him a chance to be a father.
“Wonderful! If you’ll all look under your chairs, I have a few papers printed out of some conversations between two of the characters. One is a very mild character from a peaceful land. They’re whisked away on a dangerous quest by another character to face a dragon.” Bilbo said.
Several of the others had sucked in a sharp breath and the mention of dragon. Did she remember? Or was it all subconscious? All listened intently as she went on.
“They hadn’t exactly gotten off on the right start. And neither of them were really trying to become friends, or even acquaintances. In fact, the other character had been either ignoring or undermining the soft spoken character.” She said, laughing a bit.
Many glares went to Thorin, who looked down at the ground.
“These two had just been through a hectic ordeal. The other character had thought the soft spoken character had abandoned them, but they didn’t. This is their conversation as to why they had come back. Would anyone like to take the roles?” Bilbo asked, looking around.
The company was pointedly looking at Thorin. He growled a little.
“I will read.” Thorin huffed.
“And I think you should read the other character lass.” Dwalin said, munching on one of the snacks.
“Alright. Could one of you read the narration?” Bilbo asked.
“I’ll do it!” Kili exclaimed, his hand in the air.
“Excellent! The first line goes to you Mr.Durinson.” Bilbo said, smiling.
Thorin gulped, his throat and mouth suddenly dry.
“It matters. Why did you come back?” Thorin read, and internally groaned.
“They observed their companion, the words slowly forming as they looked into the intense gaze of the other.” Kili read.
Several of them snickered a bit at the romantic wording.
“You were right. I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden.” Bilbo read. “You see, that’s where I belong. That’s my home. And you don’t have one. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.”
Bilbo looked at Thorin, the same expression she had worn once upon a time. Thorin subconsciously looked away, like he had done the first time.
“They looked on as their companion’s eyes slowly opened as they drew a breath, asking for them. They staggered to their feet, looking enraged.” Kili read aloud.
Thorin looked to the page, and knew this conversation well.
“You! What do you think you were doing?!” Thorin asked, standing. “Did I not say that you would not survive? That you did not belong? That you had no place amongst us?”
He glanced down to Bilbo, who looked both anxious but sad at the same time. Thorin knew what he had to do. He dropped the paper and moved closer to Bilbo.
“Never have I been so wrong in all my life!” Thorin said, taking Bilbo in his arms.
It was like before, Bilbo’s body fitting perfectly into his arms. He let go and held his Hobbit at arm’s length. His Hobbit.
“Thorin?” She asked, breathless and recognition clear in her eyes.
Thorin couldn’t resist any longer.
“Bilbo.” Thorin breathed.
He leaned down and connected their lips together. Bilbo squeaked and then everything became dark.
“He’s coming to! Everyone move back!” Oin declared.
Thorin blinked several times.
“What happened?” Thorin asked, staring at the ceiling.
“Bilbo punched you in the face!” Kili exclaimed, coming into view.
Thorin heard Dwalin guffaw as he rose quickly, his gaze falling onto Bilbo, who was letting Bofur wrap her knuckles.
“What?” Thorin asked, shocked and confused as Bilbo met his eyes.
“Well, you shouldn’t surprise a girl like that!” Bilbo huffed.
“When’d you get so tough?” Dwalin asked, once he had composed himself.
“Since I took self-defense classes. A girl can never be too careful.” Bilbo said.
Thorin was about to ask more questions, when someone new ran into the room.
“Billberrie! Are you alright? Arianna texted me and-” He stopped when his eyes fell onto Thorin’s.
His golden eyes. Thorin jumped to his feet and placed himself between the new comer and Bilbo.
“Thorin Oakenshield.” They said, calmly.
“Leave now, Smaug, before I skin your hide.” Thorin hissed.
Bilbo gasped.
“Smaug?! My best friend is Smaug?!” Bilbo exclaimed.
Everyone looked to her now.
“You’re friends with the wyrm?” Dwalin asked, looking ready to rip Smaug apart.
“Yes! Ever since he saved me from-” Bilbo gasped again. “That was Gollum!”
“As much as I’d like to catch up with you dwarves, my friend needs me.” Smaug said, strolling over to Bilbo.
But Thorin stopped him.
“I said, le- AH!” Thorin shrieked as sharp pain radiated through his rear end.
“Thorin Oakenshield you will sit your royal arse down and stop threatening my friend!” Bilbo shouted.
To everyone’s surprise, Thorin obeyed. Smaug gave him a smug grin before turning to Bilbo.
“Arianna only said there were men back here and she heard a thump. What happened?” Smaug asked, genuinely concerned.
“I’m fine. I just punched Thorin and knocked him out.” Bilbo said, waving her hand.
Smaug looked at her and blinked. His shoulders began to bounce as he went into raucous laughter.
“Oh little thief. I knew those classes would help you.” Smaug said affectionately, much to Thorin’s disgust.
“How do you two know each other?” Bofur asked.
“Oh! Well, we went to the same elementary school and Smaug was my bully. Then, in high school, I nearly got killed by Gollum and he saved my life. Ever since then we’ve hung out and he became a close family friend.” Bilbo explained hastily.
“I was not your bully. I was making you stronger.” Smaug huffed.
“Oh, get off your high horse you lizard you!” Bilbo said, pinching his thigh.
Smaug hissed and stepped away from her.
“Now who’s the bully?” Smaug mumbled, rubbing the affected area.
“I think you should leave, dragon, so I may speak to my Burglar.” Thorin hissed.
“You should be the one to leave, oh king. For you were the one Bilberrie defended herself against. What did you do that she had to punch you off?” Smaug asked.
His eyes seemed to glow in rage.
“What did you do?!” Smaug seethed, now gripping Thorin by the color of his shirt.
Both men hissed in pain when Bilbo had silently snuck on them and pinched their arms.
“Boys. Play nice.” Bilbo warned.
She turned to Smaug, a serious expression on his face.
“Smaug. Thorin just caught me off guard with his… affection. That’s all. It just surprised me and I reacted the only way I knew how.” Bilbo explained.
Smaug frowned, but then seemed satisfied. Bilbo then turned to Thorin.
“Thorin. I know it’s been a long time, but you can’t just sneak up to a girl and- and- and kiss her when she’s remembering things!” Bilbo said, raising her hands in the air.
“And what do you remember?” Thorin asked.
Bilbo’s eyes became soft as she looked at him.
“I remember the Shire. Our quest. Our brief wedding before your death.” Bilbo said, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
Thorin immediately brushed it away as he cupped her face. Bilbo held her hand over his.
“I’m going to get a cavity from how sweet you two are.” Smaug groused as he leaned against the wall.
“No one’s stopping you from leaving.” Bilbo huffed.
Smaug shrugged.
“I’m only staying to see your Uncle’s reaction.” Smaug said with a smile.
Bilbo gasped as she paled.
“You didn’t?!” Bilbo exclaimed.
“I did. He should be here in a few moments.” Smaug said, examining his nails.
Bilbo looked like she was turning as green as her vest.
“What’s wrong?” Bofur asked, he and Thorin leading Bilbo to a seat.
“I just realized something.” Bilbo said in a soft voice. “You remember Azog the Defiler?”
Thorin growled at the mention. Azog was the filth that delivered the fatal blow to Thorin before Bilbo had saved him. It was Azog that had caused Thorin to die and for Bilbo and him to have a rushed wedding while he lay on his death bed.
“Well… He’s sort of… My uncle through marriage.” Bilbo said.
All had gone deathly quiet. Thorin turned to Bilbo, his eyes wide.
“Azog the Defiler, the Pale Orc, the very being that caused my death, is your uncle?” Thorin asked is disbelief.
“And I think Sauron might be my godfather.” Bilbo confessed with an apologetic smile.
Smaug laughed at the expression Thorin took on, along with Fili and Kili.
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER>>>
“Thorin, please use a napkin. Kili, let go of Fili’s mustache. Smaug, stop sending death glares to Thorin. And for heaven’s sake Uncle Azog! Put down the butter knife! It is NOT a sword!” Bilbo shouted.
Gandalf could only watch in amusement as the family dinner took place. The wedding had been a wonderful affair, uniting Thorin Durinson and the new Bilberrie Baggins Durinson in holy matrimony. Fili and Kili were lucky enough to catch the moment Bilbo smashed cake into Thorin’s face on film. Azog never stopped trying to start a fight with Thorin, even after Bilbo had got him drunk to the point of passing out. Sauron was probably the best and the worst of them all, gifting them with a house of their own on a hill, and also threatening to murder Thorin should he hurt his “precious”. He was sitting with the wizard, watching the scene play out with only slight interest.
“This has all become terribly domestic.” Sauron commented.
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Gandalf said, lifting his wine glass to the former Lord of the Rings.
Sauron sighed and toasted with him, just as a fistful of pasta found its way onto Thorin’s face and Azog letting out boisterous laughter.
THE END.