Chapter Text
Tenna didn't know much about email -- hell, Spamton barely ever told him anything about it -- but he sent Mike to gather some info. It turned out that email, whatever it was, had first come around today.
That had to be some kind of special anniversary... or actually, if Spamton was an email-guy then maybe this was more like his... birthday? OH LIGHT! Here Tenna was without a gift! Without a plan!
Tenna called an emergency morning meeting and gathered all his crew together.
"Everyone!" he addressed them, "We have a special event to add to prime time today!"
They all murmured in interest.
"We're throwing a birthday party! A-And I need you all to get it set up while I work on the gift."
"But," A pippins started. "What's a birth--"
Tenna shoved an extensive checklist into their face as he headed out the door and towards his office. He needed all the time he could to put together the extra special birthday gift.
The first thing he came up with was throwing a surprise celebration live on air, but Spamton was Spamton, and he'd probably kill Tenna for something like that. He scratched that idea off his list.
Maybe if he... no, too obvious.
Oh! What if... too garish.
Tenna grabbed his antennae, pulling them in frustration. It was just Spamton, his partner! Why was this so difficult!
He paced in front of the bar, Rambs eyes shifting back and forth as he watched, polishing a glass.
"Why dontcha just do something later, in private?" The plug darkner suggested. "Mr. Spamton seems the type to keep to himself, dontcha think, luv?"
Tenna groaned, taking a seat at the bar, the stool creaking under him.
"I want this to be special for him Ramb, I do stuff for him in private all the time!" Tenna whined, gently bonking his screen on the surface of the bar. "I'm the TV guy, I should be able to come up with more than just throwing him a little party! I want to get him a present he'll cherish, that'll make him think of me every time he looks at it!"
Ramb chuckled, rolling his eyes. "You seen the rings on that guys fingers? He's gonna appreciate whatever you buy for him, I promise you that, luv."
"But it's not enough! I want to spoil him! I want to shower him in rose petals and put his name in lights! Actually-"
"Mr. Tenna, please don't." The TV darkner pouted, now rolling a straw wrapper between his large fingers. For such a controlling guy, he really looked pitiful. Ramb couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. "You want to know what I think?"
Tenna looked up and nodded quickly, antennae straightening as his attention was refocused on the bartender.
"I think you get him something worth a pretty penny, but that he'll actually use. Something meant for him, something that shows him you care, and you pay attention. You get it, luv?"
Tenna nodded slowly this time, his wires processing what Ramb was trying to tell him. Get Spamton something that would show him that Tenna cared? What could possibly do that?
Tenna could feel himself start to shrink. Angel, did he... Did he even know Spamton well enough to do that? To pick something out and do something that showed he cared about him as more than just a business partner but as a friend too? Maybe he wasn't as close to him as he thought. Maybe he wasn't as good of a friend as he wanted to be.
"Tenna, luv, just think about it. Think about what you know about him, I'm sure you can come up with something good, but you're not going to be able to find it sulking at my bar." Ramb told him, nudging an antenna off the counter and wiping it down with a wet rag. "Go grab a catalogue to look through or something." He encouraged him. Tenna whimpered and slinked off to do some window shopping. He wished he'd been more prepared for this, if he had known even just a little further in advance maybe he could have had something custom made.
Actually... Maybe that wasn't a bad idea. He could rush order something! He had the money to bump himself to the top of the list! It was all a matter of figuring out the right item! And Tenna was already coming up with an idea. It should be something he could get for himself too, that way they could match! And maybe something related to time they spent together, just to make sure Spamton knew how much he valued it and wanted more of that quality time. Maybe custom pens for doing paperwork, or a special set of crystal tumblers for them to drink from, or... Oh perfect. Tenna had the perfect idea.
He left his office, all but running to his car to drive out to the cyber city. Only place he knew that could offer immediate results.
-
The green room looked perfect when he got back, balloons and streamers decorating the room, a beautiful two story cake in TV Time colors, a small pile of gifts- wait, did other people already know?! Had he been the last to find out? Oh no, what if Spamton liked one of those gifts better?
The gilded cigarette case in the box he held suddenly felt like not enough. What if Spamton thought it was stupid? What if he didn't like smoking with him? What if he hated him?!
Spamton sighed as he finally finished the last of the paperwork Tenna had given him to complete about... 7 hours ago. God, he needed a drink. And a cigarette. And *maybe* a hummer if the TV was in the mood.
Cracking his joints, the addison made his way over to the green room. "Hey, Ramb, why are all the [[NEED A LIGHT?]] out--"
"*SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!*"
Spamton was taken aback as every (and he means *every*) employee at TV Time Studios jumped out of nowhere, all at once.
Fight or flight took over, and he ended up whipping out his pocket knife, dropping into a defensive stance. "[%#@&]! What the [H-E-Double Hockey Sticks] do you all think you're *doin'*?"
Tenna pushed through the crowd to the front, cheering over the rest. "Celebrating your BIRTHDAY, of course! Why didn't you tell me it was coming up, Spammy? I would've planned something BIGGER!"
The TV star grabbed the little mailman and spun him around until he felt sick. "Maybe because- urg! -it's not my [¡Feliz cumpleaños!] I don't have a birthday!"
Tenna frowned, setting Spamton down. "What do you mean it's not your birthday? It says so right here!"
He took a printed out piece of paper from his pocket. It was... the Wikipedia article on the history of email?
"See? It's your birthday!" Tenna pointed to the section labeled 'Internet Email'.
Spamton stared at the paper with disbelief. Was he fucking serious...? Did Tenna really think today was his birthday because a *Wikipedia article* told him so?!
He started to laugh. Hard.
"You-- you really thought-- AEHEHEHHEAHAHHHA!! Tens, you're [Bite of '87] me here!" Spamton doubled over, laughing so hard his chest hurt.
"Of course I thought! I even bought you a *gift*!" Tenna frowned, reaching into his pocket to draw out the simple black box.
"You, aeheha, you what?" The addison was still grinning ear to ear as he saw what Tenna pulled out. "A gift? For [mii]?"
"Yes, a gift for YOU!"