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"Hey- hey! Wait please- dude were not even on point- c'mon!" Rocket's voice wavered a bit as he backed off. Soot from blasting himself to high hell covering his shoes.
He had to pause after he finished speaking, coughing into his elbow, the poisons slowly eating away at what health he had left.
"I never understood why people begged," Subspace was snide as he spoke. His tripmine hummed pleasantly in his hand, armed and ready. Maybe giving Rocket time to prepare another jump was a poor idea, but he didn't care. He had a point to prove. Maybe it'd get through this kid's thick skull, "No one ever listens. It's a pointless endeavor when if you want someone to leave you alone- you have to make them."
"Sfoth above- I forgot you're a fucking freak. I don't know what your problem is! But you're wasting time! Dude- you could listen to me right now and change that fact!" Rocket was irritable.
Actually, he looked almost bored with the exchange. A bit anxious. Subspace eyed the way he was nervously reading his gear. Just a moment and Rocket could blast away- then again, it wouldn't be hard for Subspace to hit him in the air, and the blast would certainly leave him hurt enough to be put down in one hit.
Maybe it was too hopeful for Subspace to think the brat might listen to his advice. No one could say he never tried. He owed the kid nothing. In fact. In the moment Rocket was nothing more than free life steal to him- and here he was, being generous.
"I'd expect you to know that the world just takes what it wants, unless you stop it. You Were a playgrounder. Interesting that you're not anymore," The scientist was intentionally cruel with his phrasing. He could see the way Rocket tensed and snarled in response.
"Shut you're whore mouth-" Before Rocket was able to finish his sentence, he had a tripmine hurled at his chest.
The brat crumpled forwards, beginning to cough and choke before slumping down and going limp. He deserved it. He was well aware of who he was talking to. Subspace made no attempts to hide his identity as Blackrock's greatest.
Subspace took a step backwards, falling into mist as he dashed back to the point. Rocket certainly would be after him for this, but it's not like it mattered. The match wouldn't last much longer, and Subspace was certain he could outlast an irrational child.
---
Something was wrong.
Something was very, very wrong.
Medkit knew that much. Then again. Anyone with a working brain that knew Subspace for longer than a minute would know something was wrong. Medkit was actually incredibly over qualified in this regard. Not only has he known Subspace for years, seen the scientist at points in his life where he still had an ounce of compassion left in him, but he also was able to recognize the symptoms of what was going on well.
He was able to recognize them- because he had experienced them far too many times himself.
Medkit had found Subspace pressed into an alleyway. The phight had been over for half an hour. Medkit had been waiting for the crowd to clear out. Hoping to get some peace of mind, away from the loud shouting of the over-excitable phighters. Subspace had left the match so quickly Medkit barely even saw him. In all honesty, the healer had assumed that Subspace had rushed back to Blackrock to continue a project he was working on.
Instead, the scientist was trembling on the ground outside of the skatepark. One hand gripped the side of his head, heel of his palm pressed over his empty eyesocket. The other hand gripped his exposed shoulder so hard he was drawing blood. The eye that wasn't covered was staring blankly at the wall head of him.
Medkit could tell something was off early into the start of the match. He was positioned on the same team as Subspace, so he found himself trailing after the scientist quite often. Subspace was always in need of some sort of medical attention with the way he doused himself in his own toxins.
Subspace had been quieter. More distracted. The sharp focus that Subspace applied- desperate for a perfect victory, wasn't there. Instead- he was sloppy. Mindlessly hunting anyone who mildly irritated him with no concern of who else might be around to stop him. Multiple times had Medkit needed to pull back and watch as Subspace crumpled to the floor after picking a fight he couldn't win.
Currently, Medkit stared at the pink demon curled against the brick wall. Subspace's breathing was unsteady. The longer Medkit looked at him the more unsettled and worried he got. Subspace would never let himself be this vulnerable in public. Subspace barely even looked conscious of his own existence in the moment. When the medic took a step forwards- he got no response. Subspace didn't acknowledge him whatsoever.
Medkit had the sickening feeling he knew what might be a contributing factor to the situation too.
It was a fucking awful time for him as well. He was short with his friends. Everything pissed him off. He found himself zoned out after accidentally thinking on something that reminded him just a bit too much of a bad memory. Medkit knew why as well. It was a symptom of his PTSD. A 'trauma anniversary' as documents he read had called it. It has been years and yet the week of time around the date Subspace clawed out his eye still haunted him.
He never even considered if the same thing happened to Subspace.
It'd make sense. In fact it would be weirder if Subspace didn't have any PTSD from the incident. A part of Medkit wanted to believe that Subspace didn't. That there was something inherently wrong with him that made him different. That PTSD was too- normal, too relatable of a thing for Subspace to have. Medkit was coming to terms with the fact these thoughts were disgustingly selfish.
What was Medkit supposed to do? It wasn't like he could just call Hyperlaser about this. What would he even try to say? "Yeah, sorry. Your boss is shaking on the ground in an alleyway and I think that if I try to talk to him he might explode, can you come pick him up?" He was not doing that.
Things between them had changed over the past year. It was complicated. Medkit knew that Subspace- in his own fucked up way, cared about him. He knew Subspace wanted to be seen and known by him. That Subspace was constantly trying to balance between furious hatred and strange yearning. Medkit wasn't ready to face what they'd become if he fully said this out loud, but he had gotten softer with the scientist.
So he guessed he was taking the risk of trying to help Subspace. Again.
He carefully stepped forward, moving slowly to Subspace's side. Once there- he crouched down. From this angle he could see tears running down Subspace's face from his good eye. Medkit had to stop himself from getting physically sick at the sight. It took all of Medkit's strength to ignore the haunting memories the sight brought with it. They didn't need the both of them dissociating in an alleyway somewhere.
"Hey- Subspace, hey." Medkit spoke quietly, gently. He had no fucking clue what he was doing. It isn't like he had the chance to talk himself out of an episode before.
When his words got no response, he moved to carefully place a hand on Subspace's shoulder, trying again.
"Hey-"
Medkit didn't get a chance to continue as Subspace violently flinched, eye bolting to Medkit, expression willed with nothing but fear. Fuck. Medkit couldn't do this.
Subspace shook more violently then before, bringing both arms up to cover his face. He had them shielding his head like he expected Medkit to start hitting him. Medkit could hear a broken inhale come from the scientist.
Medkit didn't know why Subspace was so afraid. He couldn't- he didn't want to remember what happened. They hurt each other and that's all he needed to know. Subspace had also taken out his eye, so it's not like he was helpless. His head felt like static. Or maybe like being knocked over in a flood.
"I- I won't hurt you-" Medkit tried again, voice even quieter than before.
And once again, he didn't get the chance to finish.
Subspace was mumbling. Something between a whisper and a plea. It was hard to tell what he was saying through his mask and shaking breath. Medkit wished he wasn't able to hear him at all.
Subspace choked out the words, sounding like a somehow weaker version than he had all those years back.
"Please- no.no don't please.stop it."
It was suffocating to see Subspace make himself so small. Medkit could barely think through it. It took him fighting through his brain to even be able to process what the situation was, much less how to respond. Stop what? He wasn't doing anything. He couldn't stop the memory Subspace was living through, and he couldn't do much. What had Subspace even been asking him to stop in the first place- they both fought each other. Medkit started it but they were on fair ground.
Weren't they?
Trying to remember made it worse. The world spun around him as Medkit tried to ground himself enough to at least get one of them out of this situation. Subspace didn't seem to be any more coherent than before. Actually. Subspace seemed to be doing worse. What made reality hit Medkit again was when Subspace started to mumble more.
"Ithurts Meddy," Subspace whined out his name. It was frantic.
Fuck. It could be phantom pain. But the very real possibility existed that the pain of the rot was only making the situation worse for Subspace. Medkit could do something about that. Hell. The only thing that kept him grounded during his own episodes was keeping himself busy. Trying too hard to fix something that he didn't have time to fall apart himself.
Medkit fumbled to pull his case next to him. Once he had it there, he turned to look at the cowering scientist. If he wanted to help- he would have to use a bit of force.
He started by grabbing Subspace's arms, getting a small yelp as he did. It didn't take much strength at all to move Subspace's arms enough to get them away from his face. Subspace's eye was closed, but had opened to watch Medkit in a dazed sort of horror.
Medkit pulled Subspace's arms down and held them both by the wrist, freeing up his other hand to hold Subspace's cheek. It was awkward positioning his hand around the mask. Notably, Subspace's eyepatch was gone, discarded somewhere. Maybe torn off. Subspace was shaking as he watched Medkit move, but was frozen still in the moment.
"I've got you," Medkit was mumbling almost more to himself than he was the scientist.
He focused on mending and numbing the rot around Subspace's eye, wincing as Subspace jolted in reaction to the feeling of Medkit's crystal at work.
For a moment, Subspace seemed to panic, yelling out and pulling away, only for him to stop once as the pain started to fade. Subspace screwed his eye shut once again, choking down a sob as Medkit held his face. Slowly, Subspace seemed to calm. Or at least- he wasn't shaking as bad and wasn't trying to get away. Once Medkit was certain he had healed and numbed the other to the best of his ability, he moved away. Letting go of Subspace's wrist and taking his hand off the other's face.
He tried to shut off his brain. He couldn't think about what it felt like to see Subspace so genuinely afraid. He couldn't.
What he could think about was the way Subspace crumpled forward. His hands weakly reached up to wrap around Medkit, head falling to rest his eyes against the medic's shoulder- any higher or lower on his head and his horns would be in the way.
Medkit let out a soft sigh, sitting down on the ground properly and pulling Subspace towards him, making it so that Subspace was sat on his lap. He reached around Subspace's head and gently unclipped his mask, knowing the moisture build up underneath must be uncomfortable at this point. Subspace didn't fight a thing he did. Instead, the scientist gently cried into his shoulder.
Medkit let him stay like that. Trying to calm down his own experience. He was almost angry. Subspace got to crumple and whine while he had to be the strong one of them two. After everything Subspace had done to him, he was here looking after the pink demon. He couldn't afford to be angry right now, but he knew it'd be something that'd plague him later on. Subspace could tell him time and time again how proud he was to have taken Medkit's eye, only for him to fall apart at the memory of the event.
It didn't occur to Medkit that Subspace could've been lying. At least, not until Subspace started to mumble again.
"I didn't- I didn't mean- you wouldn't stop. It hurt. You didn't stop until my claws were digging into your eye." Subspace choked out the words. Trying to explain the past. After a moment, Subspace spoke again, "I hate you. I hate you I hateyouIhateyou."
Medkit wasn't sure how to respond. His brain was still snagged on trying to figure out the first part of the statement. Why did Subspace almost sound sorry.
Broken pieces of his memory stabbed into him like walking with glass in his foot. Subspace wasn't making this up or lying for the attention.
Medkit didn't remember much- but he remembered being angry. He remembered being angry that Subspace could use his work to hurt someone so badly. He hit him. Then Subspace said something back. He didn't know how it happened but he knew it ended with Subspace's eye being destroyed by his hand, the scientist pinned under him trying to pull his hand away as he made Subspace experience the exact rotting poison that Subspace wanted to use against other living things. He thought if Subspace could do that to something- he should know what it's like. It was then that Subspace started to claw at his eye, pleading for him to stop. The only other piece he remembered was being far from their lab, staring at the blood on his hands in horror.
He was shaking now. Subspace was still holding onto him. At least, the scientist seemed to no longer be crying.
"I'm going to die," Subspace spoke against him. He wasn't even sure Subspace cared if he was listening.
Subspace's words were laced with venom and helpless anger. Medkit knew that Subspace had plans to try and dodge his death, but in this moment, Subspace seemed like he believed there was no way out.
Medkit tightened his grip around Subspace. It was now his turn to press his head against the other's shoulder. Trying to ground himself in the feeling of the other against his skin. He didn't want to think about any of this.
"Not yet," Medkit's voice was so much weaker than he wanted it to be. He felt stupid. He felt gross.
Every inch of him hated being this vulnerable and this close to Subspace in this moment. Everything felt wrong. He didn't want Subspace to be dead and he hated that he felt anything at all.
Instead of more of the vitriol Medkit expected, Subspace simply melted against him.
"I hate you," Subspace whispered, voice shaking. Despite what he said, he stayed clinging to Medkit. Slowly breathing in and out, like he was trying to gain some control over the situation.
Medkit didn't have a response. He knew. He hated Subspace just as much.
He was suddenly so incredibly tired.
They stayed like that for a while. It was only when Subspace started to move again that Medkit started to process the things around him once more.
"We're going home," Subspace sighed.
He stayed sat on Medkit's lap, but had pulled away to put his mask back on. His gaze was frustrated, but focused. He seemed to be himself again. Medkit could tell Subspace was working out some sort of problem in his head.
It had taken a minute for Medkit to process the oddity in Subspace's phrasing.
"...We're?"
"Your apartment sucks. I don't trust you alone. We're going home."
With his mask back on, Subspace stood up. Then- he leaned over to gently take Medkit by the hands and pull him to his feet as well. It took a second for him to grab his case.
"You don't trust me alone?" Medkit found it hard to have the energy to care, but he still asked for the mild curiosity that existed in him.
Subspace seemed serious. Convinced of his choices. The way he spoke reflected that.
"Only one of us has to die. Even then, that's not yet, Meddy," He sighed, then spoke again, "You're tired. And you're a whiney baby when tired. Let's go."
Medkit could only blink at the slow return of Subspace's attitude. Subspace took Medkit's free hand in his own, and then started walking. It didn't seem like Medkit would be getting out of this either way. Whatever.
He might as well humor Subspace for now.