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The poets would probably be able to turn the circumstances of his death into a metaphor. They could talk about how the birds singing loudly as they glided through the alley way that sealed his fate illustrated his endless chatter that bored his teammates to pieces. They would explain the sunny weather that didn’t reach him through the narrow passage as a symbol for his cheerfulness, always being able to lighten serious situations with his jokes. Only once he was left alone would he be able to drop the facade and let himself feel all the emotions that often became too much for him. They would say that the slight breeze that flowed through his curly auburn hair indicated how he would quickly move on from one place to the next, trying his best not to let the anxiety take over and dwell on all that has been, only holding grudges for betrayals he deemed unspeakable.
Him dying alone showed how he always kept others at a certain distance with his jokes and cheeky grin. How he made sure they knew all about him, but not him. They would never hear him share his inner feelings. He would never tell them that he had always been scared. Scared of failing his job as a ninja. Scared of disappointing his team.
Scared of dying.
Jay was so incredibly scared of dying.
It came with the job; the risk of losing your life. Jay had long ago accepted that someday one of the visits to his parents would be his last, therefore he always made sure to make the best out of the little time he got to see them. However, he always imagined that if he were to die it would be on a mission, sacrificing himself for the city he vowed to protect, like Zane and Nya. Not like this. Not here.
The knife that punctured his lungs was still vastly set in his upper body. He pathetically tried to keep the blood at bay by covering the wound with his hand. It hurt like a bitch. Usually Jay wouldn’t swear–It’s a sign of weak verbal skills–but now, standing at death's door, he really couldn’t care less.
He was sacked against the wall of a narrow alley. His back was uncomfortably bent, the upper half leaning against the cold stones of which the wall was made up out of, the lower half on the filthy ground, that wasn’t actually dirty until warm blood dripped down from the blue ninja's chest and formed a puddle on the floor. His blue gi stained purple as it soaked up some of the red liquid.
That’s gonna be hard to wash out. He bitterly imagined the disapproving look Misako was bound to give him when he would present his gi all greasy and stained.
For someone who had the habit of panicking when things deviated even slightly from the plan, Jay was relatively calm. His lungs burned with every ex- and inhale, but his breaths were steady. He wasn’t gasping for air, not yet at least. His blue and brown eyes weren’t frantically moving from left to right, simply staring out into the nothingness in front of him.
His lightning buzzed under his skin. The massive amount of energy built up inside of the freckled boy desperately tried to concentrate all the power on his wound, hoping the force of it would be enough to close it.
But lightning required a large amount of focus. Focus that Jay couldn’t even dream of achieving at the moment. Instead, he dreamed of what he would do this afternoon.
When he gets back to the bounty he could help Zane cook dinner. He wasn’t an excellent cook, far from it actually, but he’s sure Zane would enjoy some company. Even if all he could provide was endless chatter about the latest Fritz Donnegan comic while sitting on the kitchen counter, getting in the way of everything the nindroid was doing.
Once he is greeted by the warmth of their flying ship he might play video games with Kai. The two boys have always been competitive when it came to Prime Empire. Whenever Jay would win Kai responded by angrily throwing his controller on the ground. It didn’t help that Jay would proceed to rub it in his face for the rest of the night.
After he leaves this dark scary alley way he should talk to Cole about what happened, followed by them laughing about how Jay has always been the weakest on the team, so it only fits that something as stupid as being stabbed and robbed while taking a shortcut happened to him.
If he makes it back he should tell Lloyd that he truly does believe that the young boy is a good leader, even if Jay’s pride stubbornly led the blue ninja to insulting him, when he knows that Lloyd is trying his best not to crack under all the pressure.
Maybe it is for the better that he will not make it home.
It had been relatively calm these past weeks, they could do without him. After the defeat of the overlord things had chilled down a bit. The mechanic was under lock and key in Kryptarium prison, as well as Pythor, Aspheera, and all other villains they had faced in their years of serving the city.
It was pretty funny how he would die at the hands of a simple mugger who had nothing on his side besides the element of surprise, when all he had ever done after turning fifteen years of age was face enemies head on.
He knew he was dying, he wasn’t as naive as his teammates might make him out to be. Yet, he couldn’t let himself dwell on that. He couldn’t let his weaknesses show now, not when he has spent his entire life keeping them buried deep in his heart. He couldn’t cry, it wasn’t what ninjas did.
Never once had Jay let his guard down around anyone besides Nya. And the one time he had allowed himself a moment of weakness in front of his brothers, he had erased the timeline.
After his soon impending death only Nya would carry the burden of remembering the pain inflicted on them by Nadikan's hands.
The horrors he had faced on Misfortunes’ Keep on the other hand would die with him, being forgotten as the only one who holds those memories passed away, and after a while said holder’s face would fade from the people's minds, leaving only his-now red stained–blue ninja gi.
Because that’s all he ever really was, wasn’t he?
He wouldn’t be remembered for who he was besides the elemental master of lightning. After all, Jay has never had anything that made him stand out.
Except for maybe his freckles that he hated with a burning passion and only stopped covering up with concealer for Nya, who told him that they made him look attractive.
He had done so much for Nya. It felt as if all he ever did and felt had been for Nya, and yet there was still so much more he had to do. He still needed so much time with her. To laugh, to go on dates, to share their fears and dreams.
He needed time to tell her how much she meant to him, even if he’d done so many times before. He had to tell her that he loved her, just one more time.
They still had to get married and go on a honeymoon to a far away place, maybe even another realm. They needed time to grow old together and watch the stars on their veranda as the days pace in which the days went by started picking up.
He needed to tell her that she’s always been so much more to him than just ‘the girl ninja’. That he loved her for who she was and who she inspired others to be. He wanted to scream at her that she shouldn’t let her failures get the better of her, and that he would still take her hand even if she didn’t fix his mech as fast as Pixal could.
But there wasn’t anyone around to hear his screams, his pleads for more time.
What could he even say? His throat was closed up and his tongue was bleeding from his teeth that dug into it to keep himself from pathetically whimpering in pain.
He couldn’t help wishing that there was someone who would hold him. The shadowed alley was so incredibly cold and the stone wall and ground weren’t helping. His heart not beating fast enough to warm up his body wasn’t helping either.
He wished Kai was here to hug him. They didn’t always see eye to eye, but Jay would give anything to be warmed up by his unnatural body heat one last time.
He let out a shaky breath. The rise and fall in his chest noticeably slower than five minutes ago. Jay desperately tried to move something, anything, but his left hand couldn’t even do as much as twitch. He tried wiggling his toes, but found that he couldn’t. All the other attempts went in vain.
His whole body was numb, apart from the burning pain flaring up in his chest.
If only Zane was here to freeze the wound, freeing Jay from any feeling around that area. The nindroid would know what to do, he always did. His steady voice always grounded Jay when he was throwing a hissy fit again.
Jay did his best to think about happy memories, things that had made a smile appear on his chubby cheeks before. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t able to perform, to pretend, if there wasn’t an audience watching him.
He supposed that this might be for the better. Lightning strikes just once, with purpose, before quickly dissipating into the ground after all. Maybe he had already filled his destiny and the universe did not have a need for him anymore.
They could’ve at least made his exit slightly more dramatic.
How long am I going to lay here before I die? He thought bitterly as another burst of pain shot through his body.
He couldn’t get himself to look at the knife stuck in his chest anymore, so with all his strength and might he managed to move his throbbing head back, resting it against the wall. His eyes scanned the sky to look for a spot to settle his gaze on as the light slowly faded from them.
The poets say that in our final moments your life flashes by before your eyes, helping you remember all that once was and what never will be again. The regrets, the feelings, the moments that made life feel worth it. Jay did not see his life flash before his eyes. Maybe he hadn’t lived long enough yet to have a movie about all his wrongdoings and precious memories ready for him.
He was still so incredibly young after all.
There was a singular tear stain on his left cheek when they found his body half an hour later.