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Clay let out a deep, miserable groan as Sunny gently shook him. Everything hurt, his sinuses formed an impenetrable wall that would make the Icewings blush, and he could barely move. That’s what you get for flying in the rain yah doofus.
When Peril asked him if he wanted to go flying, he knew that it was probably a bad idea. Ignoring getting potentially sick, there could have been any number of dangers; Lightning, a strong gust of wind sending them into a tree, getting lost: anything could have happened. But she was just so excited. Her smile gave him the warm fuzzies and he couldn’t help himself. And it was fun! Just the two of them, alone together in the dark sky. Two pockets of warmth in the cold rain. They had arrived back at Jade Mountain a few hours later, tired, soaked, and laughing. Peril said they should do it again sometime, and Clay happily agreed before they parted ways for bed. His friends asked him where he had been all evening, and he simply said that he was enjoying the silence of their day off. Clay was out almost immediately with a big grin on his face.
Then he woke up to the pain.
Tsunami had got up to ring the bell, Starflight ran to the library with Fatespeaker, and Sunny stayed behind to figure out why Clay seemed to be more sleepy than usual. When Clay didn’t show up to his hunting class that morning, Peril got worried and ran into their cave to see Sunny fussing over him.
“Yikes, that’s a nasty cold you have there, Clay!” Sunny said as she shook her head, “I guess we’ll have to tell Tsunami that you can’t teach your classes today.” Clay groaned again, even louder this time. Tsunami was going to kill him.
“How’d you get this sick, Clay?” Sunny asked as she rubbed his shoulders. “I don’t remember anyone else having symptoms yesterday.”
“…Me and… Peril,” he rasped out, “We went flying yesterday…in the rain.”
Speaking of Peril, she was currently pacing around the cave just behind Sunny looking incredibly distressed.
Sunny sighed and shot her a look that she couldn’t quite read but made her feel staggeringly self-conscious. “Peril, could you go find Tsunami and tell her what’s going on? Tell her to bring the box with the cold medicine in here too.” Sunny said before suddenly looking uncertain, “It’s the green box, right?” She asked Clay.
Clay harnessed the legendary might of a Dragonet of Destiny and managed to shake his head. “It’s the red box with the…green stripe.” He said before almost immediately falling asleep.
Peril nodded and quickly turned to head for the exit of the cave before stopping at the threshold. She turned her head and looked at them both.
“I…I’m so sorry.”
And with that she left.
______________________________________________________________
Tsunami was at the Prey Center when Peril found her and was, as expected, quite irritated by the news. “Red box with a green stripe, yeah yeah I got it.” She said as she turned to leave. “Peril, it’d be best if you help your winglet out with their project, we’ll handle this.”
Peril watched her run off down the halls, mumbling apologies to students that she had to dodge past on her way out.
She wanted to run back to Clay’s cave and help him in any way she could. She wanted to nurse him back to health, to comfort him and tell him how sorry she is. Wasn’t that what a partner was supposed to do when their other half was sick? But what could she do? Set the medicine on fire? Force Tsunami and Sunny to dance around her while she pestered them?
And at the end of the day, she wasn’t his partner. No matter how much she wanted that to be the case. She still didn’t know if last night actually meant anything.
Peril rubbed her talons together, trying to remember how his felt in hers.
Clay…
He was the most incredible dragon she had ever met. He was kind, funny, and endlessly supportive of everyone. He didn’t have a mean or hateful bone in his body and everybody on the continent loved him, but he still managed to be the humblest dragon she knew. His big, goofy smile lit her heart on fire, and his hugs made all of her broken pieces neatly fit back together: made her feel like she truly belonged in a way no one else ever did. The fact that he was also unbelievably handsome certainly didn’t hurt either.
Clay dominated her thoughts. Even after she had gotten over her whole I-need-you-or-I’ll-fly-into-the-sun phase, she was still hopelessly in love with him.
But what was she to him? Qibli had said that he liked her, but what if he was wrong? What if Qibli misread Clay and the I’m-secretly-madly-in-love-with-you vibe was more of a walking-on-eggshells-trying-to-not-upset-you vibe. Or worse, what if he did actually like her, but this incident completely changed his mind and now he doesn’t want anything to do with her?
She shook her head as if that would clear her thoughts. No, Qibli may as well be Moonwatcher the way he reads people. She was sure Clay felt something for her, even if it wasn’t as powerful as her love for him.
Peril stood in silence, the occasional student stumbling around her as they meandered about. She took a deep breath as she composed herself, resolving to do what she never thought she would do: follow Tsunami’s instructions.
But…
She turned her head in the direction of Clay’s cave.
She could do one last check on him. Wouldn’t hurt. Probably.
Peril moved as quickly as she could through the halls. She still wasn’t quite used to Jade Mountain and how terrible everyone was at avoiding running into her, so she moved in a pseudo-jog throughout the hallway. She saw a Rainwing that she was pretty sure was Siamang poke their head out of a random cave before making a squeaking sound as Peril zoomed past. “I’M SORRY, TALK TO YOU LATER!” Peril yelped.
Peril’s dash slowed to the walk of a dragon that wasn’t doing anything wrong what are you talking about as she approached the entrance of Clay’s cave. The walk stopped just short of the entrance once she heard the voices.
“We really can’t trust her with anything, can we?” Tsunami asked, vindication oozing out past her annoyance and not exactly sounding like she was asking a question.
“Don’t be like that, she didn’t mean to do this!” Sunny responded.
“I don’t care if it was unintentional!” Tsunami growled. “She is nothing but trouble. There’s only so many ‘I’m sorry’s’ I can take.”
There was a pause in the conversation, the only sound being the racing of Peril’s heart and the congested snores of Clay. She knew that Clay’s friends didn’t like her, but they were usually too polite to say it out loud like this. But they didn’t hide their stares very well whenever she hung around him. Sunny and Fatespeaker looked at her like she was about to push him off a cliff and Tsunami looked at her with barely restrained contempt. The only one who didn’t look at her funny was Starflight, and he wasn’t exactly known to look at anything anymore. She had long since accepted this, but it still stung to hear them being so open about it.
Sunny broke the silence first. “I don’t think that Clay would agree with you,” Peril could hear the smile in her voice as she continued, “Not sure he has a limit on how many apologies he’ll accept.”
Tsunami scoffed in response. “That’s what I’m worried about. He’ll never let us kick her out!”
“This is her home now,” Sunny said with as much authority as she could muster in her tiny body, “She has a right to be here.”
Another pause, a loud one, one that carried weight beyond words. Now it was Tsunami’s turn to break it.
“She doesn’t deserve him.”
Sunny’s voice came next, quiet as a mouse.
“…I know.”
Peril had never been stabbed before, but she was fairly certain she now had a good idea what that felt like. She turned away and began running, dragons dodging out of the way frantically, and she didn’t stop running until she made it to the main entrance. Her motion didn’t end there; her wings unfurled and took her to the sky.
The skies were peaceful that morning, not the slightest hint of last night’s storm remaining. The wind was chill but comfortable, the clouds vast but few in number. It was beautiful.
Unfortunately, Peril had no eye for beauty at that moment. Her wing beats became stronger, faster, carrying her away from the academy and to a place where the words might stop hurting. Her wing beats eventually slowed, her muscles burning, begging to take a break. She landed in a forest by the coast south of Jade Mountain soon after.
Her legs buckled as she landed, sending her rolling across the ground. Her momentum finally stopped with her belly up in the incinerated grass and her heart pounding in her chest without a care in the world to how exhausted she was.
She took a deep breath in, then slowly exhaled. Then again. Then again. Just like Osprey had taught her when she was still a dragonet. Wouldn’t have been good for the Skywing Champion to have a panic attack in the hallway. Peril’s heart began to slow after a few minutes of repetition, in and out. In and out. Once her chest had stopped hurting, she relaxed into the soil, staring at the sky. It was midday by that point, and the sun was directly overhead.
Now that she had calmed down, it was now clearly the perfect time for some good old-fashioned self-loathing. She roared as she sprang to her feet before pacing around.
Really Peril? You completely freak out and fly to the ocean over THIS? You already KNEW they hated you. THIS ISN’T SOME TERRIBLE REVELATION!
You are just hopeless, aren’t you!?
She began to rampage through the trees, tearing up the dirt beneath her talons, sending it flying in all directions and smoldering away. She wanted to burn the coastline to the ground, ignite the trees and send the animals running for the hills. Maybe then she would be able to quiet the voice in her head.
A sizzling sound snapped her out of her rampage as her vision began to blur. Steam? Did I step in some water? She looked down, seeing nothing but scorched dirt in all directions. Her attention shifted to her eyes. They… burned and… ached? Was there dust in her eyes? She began to blink rapidly to try to clear out whatever it was that was in them, but that did little to help as a sob escaped her lips. The realization hit her body like lightning.
They were tears. She was crying.
I…I’m crying? I CAN CRY!?
Peril had never cried before. Not when she had to kill dragons for Scarlet’s amusement, or when she made her feel like worthless, deposable tool. Not when Scarlet dropped Osprey to his death for having the audacity to treat Peril well, not when she burned Winter during their “fight”, and not even when Clay was DYING IN FRONT OF HER AND SHE HAD TO LITERALLY TORTURE HIM INTO NOT DOING THAT!?
Now my body decides to cry!? Because they said some MEANIE WORDS ABOUT ME!?
She desperately tried to fight back the sobs as they clawed their way out of her chest. She didn’t want to agree with them, but how could she not? Clay was… Clay. Who in the world could deserve a dragon like that? Not her. Never her. Not after everything she had done.
Her mind flashed back to the arena, the hundreds she had killed for her queen’s amusement. The palace, where she betrayed Clay and his friends. The throne room, where she helped Scarlet with her coup. The mountain, where she finally felt like she had done the right thing all on her own, only for Darkstalker to burst out of the mountain and thank her for freeing him.
The eggs. Her first victims.
A tortured sob wracked her body as she remembered the eggs. The eggs she had burned with her own talons. She imagined the families that never got to meet their dragonets. How many dragons still mourned those that she had taken from them? They would never forgive her, and deep down she knew that she could never forgive herself either.
And there she was, ugly crying for the first time in her life. At least there was no one around for miles, no one to see her at her lowest. The tears overtook her as she succumbed to her despair and shame.
Peril let them fall freely, until there were no more to give.
______________________________________________________________
Clay groaned as he woke up, not feeling much better than he had been earlier that day. At least I can move my head.
He looked around his cave, blinking away the sleep with all his might. It was the evening now, with the first rays of moonlight piercing through the window above where he lay. He smiled slightly as he saw the herb box half empty on the ground, mortar and pestle nearby. He faintly remembered being woken up by Tsunami feeding him a bunch of stuff he was sure he’d recognize when he was less tired. She always did her best.
Clay noticed that he was alone. The others must have decided to spend the night somewhere else in case he was contagious. Probably for the best. He still wished that he didn’t have to spend the night all by himself, though.
A sniffle from elsewhere in the cave drew his attention. His eyes locked on a certain Skywing, curled up into a ball on the other side of the cave.
“Peril?” he asked, his voice still a bit hoarse.
Her head shot up. “Y-you’re awake!” she said as she rose to her feet and rushed to his side.
“Kinda wish I wasn’t though,” he said with a low chuckle, “this sucks.” He smiled and looked up into her eyes, whereupon his face immediately fell. Hers was torn and her chest was heaving. She flinched back slightly at his words before breaking eye contact. He didn’t think he had ever seen her look so ashamed.
“What’s wrong?” He asked to no response. He then sat up as best he could despite the protest of his entire body, prompting a gasp from Peril.
“Clay!? You need to rest!” she yelled a little too loudly as she reestablished eye contact with him.
“I can rest once I’m sure you’re okay.” Clay said softly, taking her talons in his. There was a brief flash of pain as he did, but it almost immediately faded into the warm numbness that he had grown accustomed to.
“Clay, I’m fine, you…” Peril started before a small sob wracked her body and she ducked her head again. The noise was like a club to his gut. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into a big hug and tell her everything would be ok, and to let her cry her heart out. But he didn’t know if that was what she needed at that moment. He didn’t think that he had ever even seen her cry before. He sat with her patiently while she regained her composure, gently rubbing her talons. If she needed him, he would wait as long as it took.
“…I’m so sorry…”
“Sorry? For what?” Clay asked, genuinely confused.
“I’m sorry for getting you sick!” Peril responded, her voice filled with remorse.
“What!?” Clay immediately regretted raising his voice as his throat complained very strongly. “Peril… how is this your fault?”
“Of course it’s all my fault! I was the one that made you go flying yesterday in the rain!” Clay was startled as Peril’s eyes suddenly began steaming.
“Peril, I’m the one that decided to go flying with you.” Clay said as reassuringly as he could. He raised one of his talons to gently hold her cheek. Peril stiffened at the touch but didn’t pull away. “It’s not like you had Turtle enchant me to do it or something.”
“But… you wouldn’t have gone flying if I didn’t ask you too…” She said quietly.
Clay took a deep breath.
“Peril.”
Clay held her snout in both of his talons and made her look into his eyes. The only sounds coming from their breathing and the faint sizzling of their scales.
I always forget how beautiful her eyes are.
They were unlike anyone else’s. Dark irises suspended in small oceans of sky blue. They glowed faintly in the dark, and he felt like he could see the whole world in them. Usually looking into them warmed his chest and put him at peace, but the pain that was in them at that moment tore him up inside.
“I didn’t just go flying with you because you asked me too, I did it because I wanted to. I wanted to do it with you.” Clay slid his wings around her, gently pulling her in closer. “You could have asked to go swimming in the underground pool, or to listen to one of Starflight’s lectures, or to watch me grade last week’s biology tests I still haven’t gotten around to despite Tsunami’s increasingly unsubtle hints.” Clay grinned as that last comment got a small chuckle out of her.
“Yeah, I’ve been pretty stressed about that.” She said softly as she giggled.
“You should be, I don’t even know half the questions on that thing!”
“Clay!? Isn’t that your class!?” Peril yelped.
“Yeah, but Starflight is still working me through plant biology and all that.” Clay let out his own hoarse laugh at that. “At least I can imagine how good the animals I am talking about taste, who eats grass? Cows? I EAT COWS! THEY ARE YUMMY!”
The two laughed together, and everything in the world was alright again. Peril looked back at him, the sadness mostly gone and a beautiful smile in its place. There she is, Clay thought as he felt warmer than he had all day long.
Peril broke eye contact for a moment, looking to the side and taking a breath. “You’re not upset or anything?” she asked.
“Of course not Peril. This isn’t your fault at all.” Clay said as he pulled her into a hug, his arms under hers and their heads pressed together.
Peril let out a quiet gasp as he pulled her in, making Clay smile even wider. She’s so cute when she’s flustered.
They held each other for a good while, eyes closed and hearts beating together.
Peril was the first to speak. “I wish there was something that I could do to help, I can’t exactly give you medicine.”
“Don’t worry about that, what matters is that I know you would help if you could.” Clay had almost forgotten how sick he was until she reminded him, fatigue ramming into him at full force. He reluctantly pulled back from the embrace.
“I should be heading back to my cave,” Peril said sheepishly, “It’s getting late.”
Clay gave her a warm smile has he laid back down,” Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”
They looked at each other, words held back by a fear neither would admit. Peril opened her mouth as if to speak but decided against it as she turned to leave. Clay watched her walk to the door, fatigue spreading to every limb.
“Good night, Clay.” Peril said as she walked out through the entrance to the cave. A sudden, powerful desperation gripped Clay, beating down his fear and exhaustion. He didn’t want her to leave.
‘Wait!” He called out just as she reached the hallway. Peril quickly turned back to face him, eyes wide and expression hopeful.
“You said you wanted to help with my cold?”
She nodded.
“You know what would make me feel a lot better right now?” he asked, desperately trying not to grin like a doofus.
“What’s that?” She asked softly.
Clay raised his wing off of the ground and patted the now open space next to him.
“A nice, warm pillow.”
Clay began screaming internally as Peril blushed hard, her face breaking into a wide grin.
“YES! I-I mean, if that helps!” she giggled and looked down with a bashful smile that made him forget where he was for a second.
She walked over to him before slowly laying down with her back to him. Clay lowered his wing back down and wrapped his arms around her torso, pulling her tightly into his chest as his tail wrapped around hers, filling the cave with the sound of sizzling scales. She let out an adorable squeak as he fully embraced her.
It was funny, they were about the same size when they first met, but things had changed since the arena. Now that they were both fully grown, his frame almost dwarfed hers. Clay smiled softly as he felt her warmth against him.
Clay had come to terms with his feelings for Peril some time ago. He had always liked her, ever since they met, but it had since become something far stronger. She was the kindest, most loving dragon he had ever met. She was always thinking of those she loved, always trying to make them happy and do right by them. She was brave, heroic, and so much stronger than anyone else. He had watched her change from a dragon that defined herself by others into one that decided that for herself, and he was prouder of her than he could ever express. Just being around her filled him with joy and made him feel like everything was right in the world, and he knew that he would do anything to protect her and make her smile. She was the most beautiful and incredible dragon he had ever met, and he loved her so much.
It hurt that his friends couldn’t see her like he did. He understood why they didn’t like her at first, but after everything? He saw how they looked at her whenever she talked to him, he heard how they spoke about her when they didn’t realize he was listening. The most painful part was that it was getting to him. He was scared of what they’d think if he told them how she made him feel. He loved his friends to death, and if they loved Peril even a fraction as much as he did everything would be so much better, but he wasn’t sure that they would ever approve of them being together.
Clay looked down at her as she leaned her head back to face him. She smiled; the kind of smile that made every part of Clay’s mind melt until he couldn’t help but return it. How could he ever deserve her? He was just some nobody dragon who ran a school, one who was friends with a bunch of actual heroes, one who didn’t even have the guts to tell anyone how he felt about her. She could do so much better than him, she just didn’t know it. She could find a dragon that wasn’t a coward, one that would walk up to his friends and announce that he loved her, and they needed to just deal with it. One that wasn’t afraid to give her all the love that she deserved. All the love in the world.
But…
He also wished that he could hold her like that forever.
“Much better, you comfy?” He asked softly.
“YEAH! Y-yeah I’m super comfortable right now, never better!” Peril was blushing even harder then.
“Glad to hear it.” Clay said as he laid his head atop hers protectively. “Good night…” he said before his eye lids fell, completely overpowered by the peace he felt with her in his arms.
I love you.
______________________________________________________________
Peril couldn’t get rid of the smile on her face if it killed her. Clay had never held her that close, that intimately, and she had never felt safer in her entire life.
His big, muscular arms wrapped around her, holding her smaller body tightly to his broad chest. His wings covered her like a blanket and their tails were tightly intertwined. His head rested atop hers, the sound of his breathing drowning out the voice in her head that screamed that she didn’t deserve this.
She savored the moment with all of her strength. The joy, the peace, the warmth, she didn’t want it to end. But it was about to. She could feel exhaustion flowing into every part of her body as Clay pulled her even closer, murmuring in his sleep.
She wished that he could hold her like that every night. She wished that she could wake up in his arms, kiss him, and see him smile every morning. She wanted to walk around, tails intertwined and daring the world to say a single word about it.
She hoped beyond hope that he felt the same way, after all, one doesn’t tend to spoon another dragon platonically. At that moment, however, she didn’t think it mattered. Even if they couldn’t be together, even if he didn’t feel the same way, even if it wasn’t meant to be, she couldn’t be happier than she was right then.
Peril’s eyelids fell as the exhaustion of the day finally won out.
I love you.