Chapter Text
You realized it when you were out with your friends.
They all spoke with one another about interesting topics, making jokes and laughing, being sarcastic and satirical when you realized that you were kind of just there. Not really contributing to the conversation. At first you thought you were just uninformed, but then you understood.
You understood that you didn’t understand.
When you thought about it, they were all smart. They were all highly intelligent in one field or another; Jane with mathematics, Roxy with science, Dirk with robotics. They understood and spoke about what was going on in the world and what they had learned about Macbeth and Lord of the Flies and you were sort of just there. Listening but not being a part of it.
Even when you were at home with Dirk, you could see that he was dumbing things down for you. He would change the channel from the news or Discovery to a channel that played movies or whatever you could both enjoy without you needing to ask him about the content. He would read when you were gone or busy, or say, “It’s just robot stuff, nothing you’d like.” when he would work on his robots, and it bothered you. It bothered you that even though you wanted to, you couldn’t understand.
It bothered you how easily he beat you when you wrestled. That was supposed to be your forté, but you always lost. You were frustrated that you couldn’t beat him and upset that you were boring him. You loved him. He fit. Sure, you had a tough time a long while ago, but you’d learned from it and your relationship was marvelous afterwards. Now, however, there was the issue of your inadequacy.
So you’d gone to a bookstore downtown, Domum Haesit, whatever that meant, and bought some of the titles you recognized but hadn’t read yet. Three books, one bag, and twenty minutes later, you arrived home and set the books on a shelf, tossing the bag and turning on your computer to set up a gym membership. A few minutes later when that was done, you picked up one of the books and started to read.
About a chapter later, you decided it would be best to continue reading the next day when you weren’t so tired. You marked your place, went upstairs, shucked your jeans and shirt and crawled into bed beside an already sleeping Dirk. You’d read when he said he would be working on his robotics commission.
Before you fell asleep, you kissed his cheek, causing him to give a short little smile before letting it fall again. Then you slept.
-
“I think I’m going to go to the gym.”
You looked up from your soldering at Jake. He had his eyes directed to a book he had cover-down on the table across from where you had set your work up. You noticed without particular caring that it wasn’t even a comic book he was reading.
“You mean right now?”
“Yes, I think so. I wouldn’t mind something to work up a solid sweat.” he spoke without looking up.
“We could always wrestle.” you responded with a raised eyebrow and a smirk playing on your lips. Wrestling generally ended in a certain activity that you can’t say you didn’t enjoy.
He hesitated before shaking his head. “No thanks, not particularly in the mood for a tussle.”
You stared at him as he shut his book and got up to grab his jacket. No wrestling? That was a first. You continued watching him as he got ready to go. When he was prepared, you asked, “How long will you be?”
“I’m not certain. I’ll send you a message when I’m finished, alright?”
“Okay. Thanks.”
He walked over and placed a quick kiss on your lips before walking out the door, calling out a short, “love you!” before shutting it, leaving you alone.
For a while, you just worked in silence, soldering some wiring before being suddenly reminded of his book. You put down your equipment and reached over to grab it, marking his place with your finger. You closed the cover and were taken slightly aback by the title.
“Catcher in the rye.” you read aloud to no one.
He was quite a ways into it.
It never struck you as Jake’s sort of book. You would have expected it to be a comic like Spiderman or Superman. If you had have expected a book, you would have thought something a bit less... intelligent.
That sounded awful, but it was true. Jake wasn’t stupid by any means, but he wasn’t interested in literature like this at all. If he was, you’d have thought maybe Gulliver’s Travels or something with a bit more of an adventurous vibe. You didn’t know if you were pleasantly surprised or confused.
Wordlessly, you put the book down where it had been before, and after a moment, went back to your soldering. Jake liked trying new things; maybe this was just one of them. Maybe the gym was too.
When you went to bed alone, however, missing Jake beside you, you wondered if the gym was a good new thing.