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Craving a Life of Crime

Summary:

"Did you buy this?"

"I'd like it to be known I'm feeling very attacked right now."

"Eddie, I'm being serious. Did you buy this? I need to know where it came from."

"It came from the store."

"Dad, what Buck really wants to ask is...are you stealing things from the store?"

“I’m not stealing anything. They’re giving it to me,” Eddie said, slumping in his chair as he unwrapped another popsicle. “There’s a difference. They give me whatever I want."

"Who?"

"My friends."

“Cool, my dad’s part of a crime ring,” Chris giggled in excitement.

“Please, Chris. Not right now. I’m worried that your sister is going to be born in prison.”

Or: Eddie's developed certain cravings during pregnancy. Buck and Chris just wish he wasn't craving a lifestyle of crime. 

Notes:

I want more omega Eddie and my friend said be the change I want to see in this world and I said hell yea I'm going to write one because just like sub Eddie we badly need more omega Eddie on here

and pt. 2 to my sub Eddie fic will be coming your way, sadly I'm a slow writer and it's hard to focus on multiple things, but now that this fic is done I can start laying out my plan for sub Eddie pt. 2

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Eddie, we need to sit down and have a discussion.”

A person could hear a strand of hay fall down in a forest with how quiet it became. Buck was worried they might’ve made a mistake. He didn’t know if they should’ve chosen today of all days to introduce the topic of Eddie's sudden journey into a life of crime. After all, Eddie looked incredibly happy opening up the box of popsicles that no one in this house bought. 

Buck almost cried when he started putting away their groceries and saw that his husband’s sticky fingers latched onto things that weren’t in their basket. He didn’t know how he was stealing everything right under his nose. Maybe he was packing stuff inside of his clothes, thinking no one would notice the extra weight because he was six-months pregnant. 

Although he loved his husband and always wanted him to be happy, Buck couldn’t ignore him enthusiastically unwrapping one of the eight stolen popsicles. This moment shouldn’t have been his last straw. He knew it was wrong to ignore that he was harboring a thief in his house, especially when Chris came to him asking why there were a lot of new gifts hidden under his bed and stacked up in his closet. 

Right then, he should’ve staged an intervention. There had to be limits somewhere in Eddie’s sudden thirst for criminality.

He called Maddie, vaguely filling her in on the details. He asked her whether she had any unusual pregnancy cravings beyond food…like desperately needing to buy something. She told him she didn’t have any peculiar cravings, but did find herself needing to buy more things for the house to make things perfect before she gave birth. 

At first, Buck thought something similar might be happening to Eddie. He might’ve been preparing to make their home more comfortable. He thought the new blankets added to Eddie’s nest were nice. He even complimented the pillows he threw into the nest alongside them. But then, more stuff got added and he began noticing things. 

Their funds weren’t decreasing. 

None of these items were being charged to their account. 

Their budget hadn’t changed to accommodate all the new things in their house.

Sighing, he looked over to Chris who was waiting for him to take the lead. He didn’t want to wrap their son into the intervention, but once Chris started noticing that on their trips to the grocery store his dad was eating things in there without paying for them, he knew he had to step in too. 

“A discussion about what?” Eddie asked, cutting the popsicle into pieces and adding them to the bowl of gummy worms he snacked on while they walked through the store. “Oh, is this about Chris’ trip to the planetarium tomorrow?”

“No, dad. This isn’t about my school trip. I think you should sit down for this,” he said, holding out the chair for his dad and taking another for himself. “Buck and I want to talk to you about something serious.”

“Something serious?” 

“Yes. Lately, Chris and I have noticed a pattern of behavior that’s worrying us,” Buck stated, moving to sit down at the table. 

He groaned in the back of his throat when Eddie’s brown doe-eyes widened adorably up at him. His lips tilted in a downward smile as one hand went to rest on top of his belly. 

He pointed at him with a gummy worm and asked, “Something about my behavior?”

Buck wanted to hide at this moment and assure him that there was nothing wrong with his behavior. Eddie was perfect. He was smart. He was loving. He had all of the best qualities a person could have. He was beautiful. He was amazing. He was pretty…soooo pretty. His cheeks were this wonderful shade of pink and he–

“Buck, focus.”

He straightened his shoulders and cleared his throat at Chris’ strict command. He couldn’t get distracted from the topic at hand. He thanked him for the redirection and continued on with the intervention.

“Yes, there are some troubling concerns we have in relation to your shopping habits.”

“What do you mean?” he pouted, staring at the groceries on the counter. “You went to the store with me. We got the same things we always do.”

“I don’t think we did,” he whispered. 

“I think we should rip the band-aid off,” Chris suggested. 

Buck nodded in agreement. This lasted way too long. It was time to put an end to this life of crime. If he didn’t stop things right now, Eddie might move on to bigger crimes like stealing a car and…

…wait, he did hotwire cars as a teenager. 

And how could he forget Eddie removing a boot from his car's front tire, replacing it with a spare, and leaving the old one on the side of the curb just so they could make it to the game on time? 

He thought all of those things were charming at first, but now he was thinking differently.

There was a time when Eddie used the coupons that were mistakenly included in their mail. Eddie said it was because the previous owner’s mail kept getting sent to their house and they'd probably be expired by the time it made it to the correct address. 

Then there was another time when Eddie poured sprite in his cup instead of water. 

Had he been supporting a criminal for this long? 

He kept saying that Eddie would never do bad things because he had a Silver Star, but now…he wasn’t so sure about that. 

“Buck,” Chris said, snapping his fingers in his face. 

He shook his head and apologized, “Sorry. Right, okay. I…we have a question for you.”

“I might have an answer,” Eddie replied, tearing off the head of the worm like some animal…or worse like some blood-thirsty criminal. 

Was this where things started to escalate? 

“Did you buy this?” he quickly asked, needing to get to the bottom of things as soon as possible. 

“Buy what?”

“The popsicles? The gummy worms? The throw pillows? The new lamps? The toys in Chris’ room? The new baby clothes in the nursery? The barbecue grill in the backyard? We have a grill. Why do we need another one? And then there’s a MacBook on our bed with a bow attached to it. Did you even buy the bow?”

Eddie shrugged and went back to mixing his popsicle and gummy worms into a syrupy soup. 

“Because it’s nowhere on the receipt,” Buck said, holding out the piece of paper that was clutched in his hand ever since he started counting what they bought and comparing it to the number of items in their grocery bags.

Unsurprisingly, things weren’t adding up. 

“Did you choose to get the receipt sent to your email?” Chris asked, pulling the bag of gummy worms closer to him so he could grab a handful.

“No.”

“What do you mean no?” he asked, pulling the gummy worms away from Chris because he couldn’t let this life of crime be passed down. “No, as in you didn’t buy these things or no as in you don’t have the receipt? Did you throw the receipt away? Did you buy these things while I wasn’t looking?”

“No.”

“Eddie, I need to know where these things came from.”

“They came from the store.”

Chris laughed and Buck groaned at the flippant tone. 

“I know that. What I want to know is whether you bought all of these things.”

“I’d like it to be known that I'm feeling very attacked right now.”

“Eddie, please can you just answer whether or not you bought this box of popsicles.”

"Dad, what Buck really wants to ask is...are you stealing things from the store?" 

“No, I didn't steal anything,” he answered, standing up to grab another popsicle. “The older ladies at the store got it for me. They always give me nice things, whenever I want them. They tell me not to worry about it.” 

“Not to…not to worry about you stealing things?”

“I’m not stealing anything. They’re giving it to me,” Eddie said, slumping back in his chair as he unwrapped another popsicle. “There’s a difference.”

“What difference? I didn’t see any ladies giving you anything, when we were checking out. I didn’t see them come up to us when we were unloading stuff in our car. How are they giving you things? What all have they given you?”

“I told you. They give me whatever I want,” he sighed. 

“Cool, my dad’s part of a crime ring,” Chris giggled with his eyes moving between them in excitement. 

“Please, Chris. Not right now. I’m worried that your sister is going to be born in prison.”

“Would make for a cool college essay.”

“You already have enough things to write about when the time comes. Doubt you’d need your dad giving birth in prison to be another topic to add.”

“It’d be a nice cherry on top,” he laughed and then straightened out his expression when he saw Buck’s nervous look. “Alright, alright. I’ll be serious. Dad, who are these old ladies? Are you sure they’re not giving you stolen things?”

“They work there. It’s a bunch of older women who work at the store every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. There’s Juliana and Charlotte, but they go by Julia and Charlie. Then there’s Ginger, Emily, Dana, and Suzanne. Rebecca only works on Wednesdays. So I don’t see her that often.” 

“Buck, I was joking earlier, but I really think dad is a part of a crime ring,” he whispered. 

“Okay, that’s enough. You two, get up. We’re going back to the store. My friends' shifts are over at five and I need to prove that you’re not harboring a thief. I can’t believe my husband and my own flesh and blood think I’m going around here stealing things.”

“Now they’re your friends?” Buck asked. 

“They’ve been my friends. I love them. They’re very nice to me and I don’t appreciate you or Chris thinking that a bunch of old ladies are helping me steal or that they might be giving me stolen things,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and angrily glaring at them. “They’re surprising me with a baby shower on their lunch break next Wednesday. I’m not supposed to know, but Ginger can’t keep a secret.” 

“Will the things they give you at the baby shower be things they’ve stolen?” Chris snickered. “I mean come on dad. My closet is almost a toys’ shop and I like the new Nintendo Switch, but not if it’s stolen.” 

“I didn’t steal it. I told them I have a teenage son and they wanted to give you gifts too. Didn’t want your baby sister to get all the presents,” he smiled. 

“Aww, that’s nice of them. You think I should write them a ‘Thank You’ card?”

“Focus,” Buck said, deciding it was his time to redirect Chris’ attention. “I think it’s nice that you’ve made friends at the grocery store, but that doesn’t answer the question of where all these things came from. I’m going to have to open up a storage unit, if things continue this way.”

“I can tell them to cut back.”

“On stealing?”

“No, on giving me gifts,” Eddie dryly responded. “And it’s not all that crazy. Sometimes I’m in the store shopping and they let me have a snack. They said seeing me fed and happy makes them happy.” 

“I don’t know if you’re gullible or if you’re getting better at keeping secrets from me."

“Gullible? Why do you think I’m gullible?”

“You have a bunch of older women telling you to grab any snacks at the store and eat it without paying? Won’t their boss get mad? Don’t they have to go through inventory?”

“Did I ever say the things weren’t being bought? No, I didn’t. They let me eat it in the store and they charge it to their own cards. They’re paying for it and I get to enjoy my time walking through the grocery store.”

“So you just pick up some blueberries and start eating them?”

“Yes. They say it’s fine.”

“How is it fine? Are you giving them the empty box of blueberries and they scan it on your way out?”

“No. They know the item number and they buy it without needing to scan it. I think you’re making this entire situation more complicated than it is. This can all be solved once you meet them. We have two hours until they get off of work,” he said, eating the rest of his popsicle gummy bear soup. 

Drinking it all, he slammed the bowl on the kitchen table and stood up. He waddled over to grab the keys left on the counter and placed his hands on his hips. 

“Are you coming or not?” 

“I’m coming because I want to be part of the documentary when it airs,” Chris shrugged, standing up to walk toward his dad.

Reluctantly, Buck went over to them and took the keys out of his hands. 

“I’m driving.”

When they made it there, Eddie nearly skipped inside the grocery store. His face visibly brightened, when he saw who was one of the greeters. A woman with curly red hair, threw her arms around him. 

“Darling, I was worried I missed you today! Everyone told me you came by this afternoon, but I had to see the doctor this morning,” she pouted. “Oh, dear. You’ve gotten bigger since I’ve last seen you. Have you been eating well?”

“Yes, I have. How’d the doctor’s visit go?”

“Oh, you know how it always is with them ‘ole doctors. They tell me one thing at one appointment and then another thing at the next one,” she waved off. “This new one I’m seeing tells me I’ve gotta watch my blood pressure.”

“I told you this earlier Dana.”

“And I told you I’ve been perfectly healthy all my life without ever going to a single doctor. Now when my wife’s got some brand new insurance for us to be on, I’ve gotta see doctors who suddenly think I’m one step out of a coffin,” she snarked. “Enough about doctors. Who are these two lovely people?”

“This is Buck and Chris. Guys, meet Dana.”

“Oh! You’ve brought your handsome husband and son to meet us,” she teased, tightening her arms around him. "Is your alpha finally coming to scope out the competition? Worried I might steal him away? Don't need to be jealous, dear. I've been tempted a time or two, but my omega at home would have my head if she were to see me flirting with a pretty thing like you."

"Oh, stop it," Eddie said, blushing furiously. "Buck isn't the jealous type."

Buck would have to agree to disagree on that point. 

"Good, he shouldn't be jealous over you hanging around all of us old hags."

“Don’t you go calling us hags!” another woman called out. “I’m as fine as I was at twenty-five. Don’t look a day older. So don’t go lumping me in with you old ladies.”

“That ain’t true!” another person loudly laughed. “You just think you look young ‘cause your daughter took you to get that fancy and overly expensive facial. I’ve got dollar-store face masks that’ll work better than that treatment.”

“Ginger, don’t go lying now. You’re only jealous that my daughter still wants to hang out with me. It’s not my fault your kids chose to be anywhere else but California to get away from you.”  

“Whatever, Emily. Pardon our behavior. Toward the end of shift we get a bit rowdy,” Ginger greeted. “Oh, honey. You’re back again? Did’ya forget something at the store? I told Julia we shouldn’t have Suzanne working the cash register today. She always forgets to put away things in the bags. We’ve gotten too many calls recently because of her.”

“It isn’t my fault!” Suzanne yelled. “You’ve got me busy training all the new workers. You know I’m not a great multi-tasker.”

“No, I didn’t forget anything. I…” Eddie sighed, gently stepping out of Dana’s hug.

“What’s wrong?”

Buck was slightly concerned how all of the women were standing at the front of the store as though they didn’t need anyone else working. Guess, he supposed there were other people to carry on as the older woman all came to stand by Eddie who was beginning to quietly sniffle. 

He blinked eyes that were wet with unshed tears. His rose-toned lips formed a pout as he shrugged. Buck suddenly felt two inches tall as the older women cooed and gathered all around him in a defense squad, enclosing Eddie in a protective circle. 

“They think I’m a thief and that I’m a part of your crime ring,” he cried, sniffling into one of the handkerchiefs the women handed to him. “I told them I would never steal.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, darling. Our precious Eddie would never in his entire life steal anything. The only thing you’ve stolen is our hearts,” Ginger affectionately said, while cutting her eyes over to Buck and Chris with a look of fury. 

“They said I stole everything and I’m keeping a hoard of stolen goods like I’m Ariel and this store is my own personal shipwreck. They thought I stole a barbecue grill, baby clothes, and even the popsicles I got today,” he pouted. “You know I’d never steal from you?”

“We know that,” Dana said, also angrily snapping her eyes up to Buck and Chris.

"I didn’t say that dad is a thief. Buck was the one to bring up the whole staging an intervention thing,” Chris said, shifting the blame entirely. “I thought all the new things were great. And thank you to whoever got me the Nintendo Switch. I thought I’d have to wait for my birthday.”

“That was me! Hi, I’m Julia the owner of the grocery store,” a blonde haired woman said, walking up to their small huddle. “Hopefully, I can clear up some misunderstandings. We have a lot of expecting parents coming into our stores. We understand sometimes you need a little snack, while shopping and we pass along some snacks. But we’ve grown a special attachment to Eddie though. Who can resist his charms?” 

“He’s so cute with his little waddle and red cheeks,” Suzanne smiled. “He brought out all the maternal-instincts I never thought I had. I never had children for a reason, but this one here brought out my mother-hen personality. I want to give him the entire world, but I can’t. So I give him a few throw blankets I’ve seen him eyeing in the store.” 

“I have more money than I can ever possibly hope to spend. I might’ve gone a bit overboard with the barbecue grill,” Julia said. “Eddie did say you didn’t need one, but we were having a sale. And it’s a very nice grill.”

“Here, dear. I got you some of that brisket you like,” another woman said, holding out a brisket sandwich. “Told Marty to make one for you as soon as I saw you come in.”

“Thanks, Rebecca. I thought you didn't work today,” he wetly sniffled, opening the wrapper and taking a large bite out the sandwich. “This is really good.”

"Covering for Tim. He's out sick today. Oh, sweetie. Don't cry. We love giving you presents. It's a highlight of our day, seeing how excited you get receiving a new gift. Makes me want to work more often than I do just so I can see you more."

Buck stared at the ladies, feeling chastised. Who knew a group of older women basically adopted Eddie and wanted to shower him with gifts? He should’ve known that he wasn’t the only one naturally endeared to Eddie. His omega deserved everything good in the world and if more people wanted to give him exactly that then who was he to complain? 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I saw all the gifts in the house. I saw him grabbing a bag of chips and opening them in the store to eat which is something he’s never done before. I thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?” Julia asked, softening her eyes with a sympathetic look. 

“I thought maybe he developed a pregnancy craving to steal,” he said quietly. 

The women and Eddie stared at him for two whole seconds before they loudly started to laugh. Buck’s cheeks became warm as they repeated what he said over and over. Each time their laughter increased in volume. 

"A pregnancy craving to steal? Hahaha."

"If my ex-husband was as funny as him, I might've not divorced him three times."

"Pregnancy craving? My stomach hurts from laughing. I can't stop. Oh, boy. I've never heard of that one before."

"It's certainly a new one. Oh, dear. I'm about to choke. Eddie, you've married a comedian."

“I can hear how crazy it all sounds aloud, but I was worried,” he explained.  

“Come on, ladies. Don't make fun of him. His heart's in a good place," Eddie smiled, reaching out to hold his hand.

"We'll stop making fun of the poor man. Might have a small chuckle every now and then though," Dana smirked. "Does this mean we need to pull back on the gifts?"

"I really do appreciate them, but maybe we can hold back on the gifts for now though," he said, smiling up at Buck. "There isn’t a lot of room in our house for all of these things. I've started moving stuff up to the attic. I will always accept food though. You don't have to stop giving me food."

"We'd never deprive you of that. Need to keep both you and baby fed," Emily said, combing her hands through her gray hair. 

“And I can buy you a bigger house,” Julia offered. “There’s this lovely property that’s been sitting unsold for ages because of the listing price. I can easily afford that though. Say the word and I’ll buy it for you.”

“You will?” Chris’ eyes widened in surprise.

“We just moved and we’re happy where we are,” Eddie said, ignoring his son’s enthusiasm. 

“If you say so. Well, while you’re here do you have some time to spare? I want to show you the new shipment we got that we’re putting out on the floor. Charlie’s been sorting through everything in the baby aisle and she's found some onesies that I know you’re going to adore.”

Eddie looked over at him and asked, “You mind if I step away for a second?"

“No, I don’t mind. Go have fun with your friends,” he said, ducking his head down to softly kiss him. “Chris and I will keep ourselves busy until you’re done.”

“We’ll take care of them. Chris, do you have a favorite snack?” Emily asked, guiding him through the store. “If you’re like my grandchildren, you love the unhealthiest snacks. Pick your poison."

“Do you have hot cheetos?”

“Do we have hot cheetos? My friend, we have that and more. Come along now.” 

Buck watched them leave and went to sit down at the small coffee shop attached to the grocery store. He looked up, when Chris came back over with his bag of snacks. They talked and ate together, while they waited for Eddie to come back to the front of the store. 

He was busy replying to some text messages, when Chris leaned forward and waved a hand to get his attention. 

“Hey, Buck.”

“Yeah?”

“This is a grocery store.”

“Okay?”

“They don’t sell MacBooks here. So umm…where did the computer come from?”

“Julia says she’s rich. She probably bought it herself and gave it to him,” he said, throwing another chocolate almond into his mouth. 

“Okay, but will it explain that because I don’t think that’s something an employee should be doing,” Chris asked, bumping his pointy elbow into his side. 

He turned around and watched in horror as Suzanne pocketed money from the cash register. He moved his eyes to Emily who was stuffing a beanie down the front of her dress. Then there was Dana who was throwing jewelry into her handbag. 

As if unaware that Chris and Buck were still there or unaware that their whispering was too loud, the women talked “quietly” amongst themselves. 

“...poor dear. Didn’t mean to get him into trouble."

“Was some fast thinking on Julia’s part.”

“Fast thinking? No, it wasn’t. What type of lie was that? The owner? Pft, as if. Better be glad that handsome husband of his didn't ask to pull up verification that she owns this store,” Dana said, whipping her eyes over to where Buck and Chris sat. “You think they can hear us?”

Chris and Buck quickly went back to looking at their phones as if they weren’t eavesdropping. His heart thundered inside of his chest, waiting for them to say something. 

“No, they’re busy on their phones. When my children and grandchildren get that way the whole world floats away from them. Suzanne, don’t take that match money. I’m not checking registers today. Kevin is and you know he’s not involved in this. He’ll alert the boss to a single cent missing.”

“Buck,” Chris said, tugging on his shirt. 

“I know,” he said, tensely listening to them. 

“When can we move on from this store?”

“Charlie said she wants to wait until Eddie has his baby. She really wants to stick around. I think she misses her kids being that young. Might want to hang out with the baby before we hit the road again.” 

“So three or four more months?”

“Yes.”

“Aww, so soon? It’s been nice having Eddie around. Who would’ve thought a bunch of old ladies and a pregnant dad would’ve been the perfect cover. I do feel bad though, we’re using him like this to store some of the things we’ve stolen.”

“Me too. He’s so nice. I hope it’s not traced back to him.”

“We’re always good at keeping a clean trail. Besides, who’s going to think a good-standing firefighter who’s six-months pregnant is stealing? Poor thing doesn’t even know he’s been stealing too.”

“We’ve corrupted him and he doesn’t even know. We've ruined such a gentle and sweet omega,” Suzanne sighed. “I saw him pick up that cookbook we had to put aside for one of the customers and didn’t have the heart to tell him no. He looked at me with those bambi eyes and I told him to go ahead and take it.” 

“Maybe we did too much? Does Eddie really need that new stroller?” Emily asked. 

“How dare you ask such a question?” Ginger gasped. “He needs everything. If I’m to be the godmoth–”

“You are going to be no one’s godmother.”

“You don’t know that. I managed to get my hands on that crib he’s been saving up for.”

“You did? How’d you manage to get that?”

“Have a guy who works in shipment over at Elly’s Furniture. Told him I’d hook him up with that new stereo system I grabbed off my neighbor’s car in exchange for that crib.” 

"A guy? Are you talking about Max?"

"Please, tell us that you're not talking to Max."

"Stop saying his name like that."

“So you’re still talking to him?”

“Course I’m still talking to him. Why would I stop?”

“Because he made you take the rap for him and you spent ten years in jail for something you didn’t do.”

“We were young back then. All of that’s water under the bridge.” 

“If that’s what you want to believe.”

“It is.” 

“Alright, let’s talk about this later. I need to help Nathan on the registers. Rush hour is about to hit.”

“You do that. I’m going to the break room. I get off in thirty-minutes and Hal is not about to have me work overtime.”

“We’ll talk later?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Oh, and are we still on for tonight?”

“Yeah and before I forget, Emily, you're on lookout tonight. Suzanne, stop putting money in your pockets. I told you Kevin is closing tonight. See this is why I didn’t want to involve you. Always doing something to almost get us caught.”

“Sorry,” Suzanne apologized and quickly closed her register as she welcomed a new customer heading over to be checked out. “Hi! How are you doing today? Find everything you were looking for?” 

Buck didn’t listen to the customer's response as he was too shocked by what he heard. 

“Buck,” Chris whispered, shaking his shoulder as the older ladies went back to work. “This is getting serious. They’re like real life criminals. I know I said I’d want to be part of a documentary and this would be a cool thing to add to my essay, but my sister can’t be born in prison.” 

He pursed his lips into a thin line and stood up. 

“Chris, I’m going to step outside and make a call to Athena real quick.”

“You’re going to call Athena and not 911?”

“Athena might be more discrete and I think this situation calls for a little discretion,” he cautiously said, flitting his eyes over to where Eddie was jovially laughing while holding up a pair of baby sneakers in his hand. 

“Gotcha. Stealth mode activated. You call her and I'll distract dad from finding out that his new friends actually did involve him in a crime ring,” he said, getting up to stand and head over to his dad.  

Buck waited until he was gone for him to make the call. He knew he should’ve trusted his gut instincts. 

“Hey, Athena? Yeah, I’m going to need you to come down to the Harvest Co. grocery store on Sawyer Blvd. and Forest Lane. We have a robbery in progress.”

Notes:

Comments and kudos are welcome and loved 💗