Chapter Text
The devil fruit user had left a slew of hypothermic bodies in their wake. When the strawhat pirates went head to head with them, they’d expected some kind of insane ice powers, maybe a bit of weather control, snow even. But it was nothing. Much to Luffy’s dismay, all they got were some bubbles of vaguely warm and cold air. Zoro got hit square in the chest with their palm but kept fighting like nothing happened. The greatest trouble they had came from the devil fruit user’s martial arts, and that was nowhere near enough of a match for the strawhats.
“How the hell did someone like that kill so many people?” Sanji grumbled, nudging the now white-eyed user with the toe of his boot. The last thing he’d been hit by was one of those hot air bubbles and it still had him sweating. A fucking nuisance was all. He loosened his tie and popped the first few buttons to help get some of the cool air in.
“Who knows,” Zoro spoke in that irritatingly casual way of his. He slid his sword back into its sheath, it had been a while since he’d only drawn one in combat. “But it’s done now, don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not worried, meathead. Godforbid I show some healthy curiosity.” Sanji bit back, Zoro only grunted in reply.
“Hey Zoro! Fight me!” Luffy came bounding over, swinging a wide, downward fist and cracking the concrete where Zoro had been a standing a second before he leapt back.
There was no question as to why Luffy wanted to fight. The captain was restless from an unsatisfying battle that had been built up over the past four days of tracking it down. Zoro seemed content to take on the responsibility of entertaining Luffy, as he so often did under a generous banner of responsibilities he took on as first mate.
“We have a few more days to kill before the log pose resets,” Nami shook her wrist and watched the needle wobble.
“We spotted some nicer beaches up the coast on the way in, could make a good camp,” Usopp joined them as he brushed the dirt off his pants. Usopp’s dive for cover to avoid the slight heat wave that had passed through the air had been overdramatic, entirely unsurprising from the man, and the closest thing to an injury they’d gotten.
“Ooh! Sanji! We could do another beach fire dinner like we did at the Beetle Islands?”
Sanji glanced down the cigarette he was trying to light to see Chopper looking up at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes a reindeer was capable of.
“ ‘s not a bad idea,” he mumbled about the stick, striking the roll of his lighter and finally getting flame. They had plenty of supplies, a town to restock at nearby, Sanji could splurge on a big dinner or two. Like all peaceful daydreams, it got interrupted. Like most of them, it was Zoro’s fault.
“ZORO! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Luffy yelled.
The rest of the crew snapped to attention to see Luffy standing over Zoro on the ground, fists clenched and demanding an answer from the unconscious swordsman.
Chopper was the first to squeal and rush over, soon followed by Nami with accusations of, “what did you do, Luffy?!”
And Luffy’s, “I didn’t do anything!”
All while Sanji just stared, head tilted, oddly disconnected from the visual he was seeing. Zoro had a tendency to pass out for a nap anywhere he liked, whether it was in the way or not. He wasn’t unfamiliar with Zoro’s unconscious face. Usually, there was tension in his brow still, his chest would rise and fall with heavy breathing, occasionally he’d snore like the animal he was. There was none of that now. Zoro was slack, still, quiet.
Zoro was rushed back to the ship on a stretcher Franky manifested from nothing, Chopper sitting on his chest while he checked his pulse and breathing.
“He’s burning up! Someone get me water, ice, and towels,” Chopper yelled.
Sanji wanted to scoff. This was Zoro they were fussing over, there was no need to panic, he was fine. But he saw how different Zoro looked, heard the panic in Chopper’s voice, and thought he best pretend like he was worried too.
“On it,” Sanji dashed off.
It only took ten minutes to get Zoro’s temperature down, twenty for Chopper to stop actively panicking, and thirty for Zoro to begin to stir.
Chopper called the whole crew into the medbay to get an update. Sanji joined because he was pretty sure Zoro would be mortified over this and he wouldn’t miss that for the world. Zoro was fine. Sanji was not telling himself that in his head to cope with one of the strongest people he knew being out cold for no reason.
Well, not out cold anymore.
The strawhats gathered in the medbay and crowded in the door, one big dysfunctional, concerned family. With Zoro, sat cross legged on the bed with a thick blanket wrapped around him and thermometer hanging out his mouth like Sanji with his cigarettes.
Idly, he thought Zoro would look good smoking if he ever tried it. Not right now, right now he looked ridiculous, glowering at his nakama while cocooned in a fluffy blanket like he was.
“Alright everyone, Zoro needs our help-“ Chopper began, to be immediately interrupted by Usopp shouting,
“Oh my God! Is Zoro gonna die?!”
“Shut up!” Sanji smacked Usopp over the head.
“Damnit, Chopper, why’d you have to phrase it like that? I’m fine.” Zoro insisted, earning an eye roll from Sanji. As if Chopper’s phrasing was the issue, and not him passing out in front of everyone.
Zoro said he was fine so Sanji believed him enough. Not because he was believable, but because now Zoro would have to make damn sure he was fine, and Sanji trusted him to keep his word.
“I’m sure we’ll be able to handle whatever he needs, why don’t you tell us more?” Robin’s voice carried through the room effortlessly, soothing over the rough edges and guiding the conversation along. How skilled she was at social manipulation, how lucky they were she was on their side.
“Okay, it’s like this,” Chopper took a deep breath, “Zoro got hit by that devil fruit user and lost his ability to regulate his own temperature. He won’t sweat, shiver, or be able to tell when he’s too hot or too cold. When he fought Luffy he pushed himself to hyperthermia without realising, and the heatstroke made him faint. Maintaining that temperature could cause heart and kidney failure, then major damage to his brain, and even-“ Chopper squeaked as he made eye contact with Zoro, who was giving him a disapproving look while he rolled the thermometer in his mouth with his tongue.
“We all know Mosshead doesn’t have the brain cells to spare getting brain damage, so what do we do?” Sanji piped up, earning a growl from Zoro across the room. The brute. Sanji figured he’d be thankful for the casual lack of concern. In fact, he knew he would be. Because as much as Sanji hated his guts, his total lack of elegance, directional awareness, or manners, he recognised himself in the swordsman. They were nakama, and two sides of the same coin.
“There’s no solution quite like skin to skin contact. Hugs with as few layers as you’re comfortable with. Just like a baby bird!”
Sanji snorted, trying to reconcile the fuming swordsman with any kind of cute baby animal. Zoro looked like he was debating between homicide or suicide but it would surely be one of them.
“Zoro will need to take a break from any strenuous activity or staying in the sun for too long. Someone should be around at all times to help him know if he’s getting too warm or too cold because he won’t be able to tell until he’s symptomatic. His nose and fingers will be the first affected so it’s as easy as holding his hand!”
Chopper continued to educate them all on how to look after baby mammals, and Sanji leaned into the doorframe, watching Zoro over all the crew’s heads. Trying to imagine what the least touchy-feely man in existence must have said when Chopper told him he was being prescribed hugs and hand holding. Whatever his complaints, they must have died down eventually because there was none of it now.
“I’ll take first shift with Zoro,” Nami nudges through the crowd and sits herself up on the bed by him. Sanji’s brain stutters to a stop when he realises what this means. He’d been too caught up with Zoro’s emotional constipation around affection to realise that it was a free pass to get touchy-feely with the girls on the ship. No way was he letting Zoro be creepy around them. There were plenty of other people that Zoro could cozy up to.
“Wha-? Nami!” Was all the argument he managed to summon.
“What? I don’t see you volunteering,” Nami leaned her shoulder into Zoro’s. “I’m sure you’ll have your turn. Chopper’s too small and it’s unreasonable to ask him to strain himself in his other form when he’s already done most the work. Brook doesn’t have body heat,”
“Nor a body! Yohoho!”
“- Franky is too cold as a cyborg,”
“Sorry Zo-bro! We can still cuddle if you wanna.”
“- Luffy gets distracted too easy,”
“Huh?” Luffy pulled his finger from his nose.
“- Usopp is shitting himself at the idea of getting that close to Zoro,”
“Ah! What?! Me?! Haha…. No…”
“So it’s down to you, me, and Robin.” Nami finished her analysis, like it was that easy. Just like that, Sanji was the only thing between Zoro and the girls.
The cigarette fell from his mouth, having been bitten clean in half after getting ground between his teeth.