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“Hey… Bell?”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“I just like. I wanted to let you know, um…”
“What?”
“I want to tell you something.”
“…Okay.”
“…”
“Murph?”
“I’m here.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Give me a minute.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m just like, I’m fine.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“I’m ace.”
“You’re… what?”
“As in, asexual.”
“Ha.”
“Bell, I’m asexual.”
“Oh, I thought you were joking. Isn’t that what worms are? Like they reproduce asexually?”
“Oh my god, no. Well, maybe they do. That’s different though. It means I don’t experience sexual attraction. It’s an identity, like bisexual.”
“I thought you were gay?”
“Well, yeah. I’m both. You can be gay without sexual attraction.”
“How?”
“How… what?”
“Like. If you’re not sexually attracted to guys then how are you gay?”
“…”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean you aren’t. Sorry. I’m just confused, I guess.”
“No, I mean. It’s fine, it’s just like.”
“Am I being too nosy?”
“No, no. Um, so I’m gay cos I’m romantically attracted to boys. Like, I want to date them. And I like the way they look. I just like boys! I’m gay as fuck. If you hadn’t noticed.”
“But just, you don't like them sexually.”
“Yeah.”
“Wait, so… if you don’t have sexual attraction, does that mean you don’t have sex?”
“No—well, I mean some ace people do, but I don’t. That’s not it, though, it just means we aren’t attracted to people in a sexual way.”
“So there’s like, non-sexual attraction?”
“I guess, yeah. Like, if I really like the way someone looks, it’s called aesthetic attraction. Or if I want to like, be in a relationship with someone or something, that’s romantic attraction.”
“Well, yeah, I get that one. I guess I didn’t think about those being separate things.”
“It’s different for everyone.”
“Guess so.”
“Bellamy?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re not weirded out, are you?”
“Hey, no, of course not.”
“…Okay.”
“I promise, I’m not. I just never thought about stuff like that.”
“Okay… I get it if you are.”
“No, really. It’s cool! You were talking about attraction.”
“…Yeah. And like, if I want to be around someone, like—physically, but not really sexually, that’s sensual attraction.”
“That’s when you get all cute and cuddly.”
“…Shut up.”
“Are you blushing?”
“Ughh.”
“So… does that mean you’re not attracted to me?”
“Mm, not really. Not the way you’re probably thinking. I think you’re good-looking.”
“Well, thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I know I’m hot.”
“Of course you do.”
“It’s an objective fact, Bell.”
“Wait, so… you said you didn’t want to have sex, right?”
“…Do you want to?”
“I mean, I thought maybe eventually.”
“…”
“Not… I mean, not if you don’t want to.”
“…I don’t really want to.”
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I mean… sex isn’t everything. We’ve been dating a while and we’ve never done anything sexual, and that’s been really good.”
“Okay. Good.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You just sound so relieved. Were you worried about telling me?”
“…Kinda.”
“Aw, Murph. I’m sorry. I know how hard it is to come out.”
“Thank you.”
“You know I wouldn’t judge you, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Bell.”
“Sorry I like… laughed. At the beginning.”
“Okay, yeah, that made me kind of nervous.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Deep breaths, Murph.”
“I know.”
“You just seem so nervous!”
“Well, I was, okay? I didn’t know how you were gonna take it. Some non-asexuals are really into sex, I didn’t know if…”
“Couldn’t you just say ‘sexual’ people?”
“I mean, you could, but that just has certain connotations. Not all non-aces are that sexual, and aces can be sexual too. Just like, without the sexual attraction.”
“How can you be sexual without sexual attraction? Not, like—I’m not saying you can’t, I just mean, how does that work?”
“Well like, some ace people like sex, they’re just not sexually attracted to people. But they’ll have sex for all kinds of reasons.”
“Cos it feels great.”
“Yeah, that, or maybe just to be with their partners, or to have kids, or… you know, whatever else.”
“But, you don’t want that.”
“Nooo. Sex is gross.”
“Ah.”
“No offense. It’s just. Incredibly gross. It freaks me out. Like, just the idea… ugh. I just shuddered.”
“That’s okay, you don’t have to explain. It is kind of gross, if you really think about it. It’s just… also really great.”
“…”
“To me. I’m kidding.”
“I know.”
“…What are you thinking?”
“I mean. I dunno. This doesn’t change anything, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“…”
“C’mon Murph, I promise I won’t judge you.”
“It’s just. Do you still… like me?”
“Murphy, of course I do.”
“Oh. Okay. Good.”
“I’m really glad you told me. I’m sorry if I like. Offended you or anything.”
“I mean, you didn’t. I just… sometimes the questions are tiring. Cos they’re all the same. It’s like all those questions you get when someone finds out you’re pan, y’know.”
“Oh, god. I’m sorry. Wow. I literally didn’t even think about it.”
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s okay cos it’s you. I don’t mind you. I like being asexual. I like talking about it, I just don’t like feeling judged.”
“Yeah, I feel you.”
“Cos like, people don’t think it’s a real thing.”
“Ugh. That’s so dumb. Obviously it’s a real thing? If that’s what you’re feeling?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“Well, anyway, feel free to grill me on my shit any time. For retribution.”
“Thanks. You know I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
“…Wow, I’m so tired.”
“You wanna sleep?”
“No, I just. I was literally so worried you were gonna break up with me.”
“Murph…”
“Like. I’m not even kidding, Bell, it’s happened before.”
“That’s… horrible.”
“Yeah, he was just like ‘sex is an important part of a relationship’ and all that bullshit.”
“What the fuck.”
“I know! And I was like, one, we’re like fifteen, what the fuck, man. And two? No? You can still be in a relationship without sex? Damn.”
“Yeah. Exactly.”
“Anyway, I’m just like. Physically exhausted with relief.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Nah, you were. You were good. Thanks, Bell.”
“Murph?”
“Yeah?”
“I really, really love you right now.”
“…Oh.”
“I just wanted to tell you.”
“…”
“Murphy?”
“No, yeah, um. I think that’s the first time you’ve said that?”
“Oh. Fuck. Is it?”
“I think so.”
“Did… did that make it weird?”
“…No. I kind of. Really love you too.”
“Really?”
“Right now, I mean.”
“Ah. Shouldn’t have put that caveat.”
“Don’t say caveat, oh my god. I can’t believe what a NERD you are.”
“Not even a good nerd! I didn’t know what asexuality was.”
“Well… not everyone can be as smart and devilishly handsome as me.”
“True. True.”
“So… I guess we love each other, and shit.”
“Guess so.”
“I guess this kind of went really fucking well, then. Considering the alternative.”
“Murph, I wouldn’t break up with you just because you don’t want to have sex with me.”
“I mean. I dunno. Last time was so… like. That was so fucked up.”
“It’s okay. You’ve got me now.”
“Are we going to start ending phone calls with ‘I love you?’ Like I was just thinking about ending this phone call and… Bell, we’re not gonna be that couple. I refuse.”
“…I mean, I think we’re already that couple.”
“No. I refuse, I decline.”
“I loooove you.”
“Reel it back. Reel it all the way back.”
“Ohh, fine.”
“Anyway, I only called you to come out, I didn’t know we were going to proclaim our love or anything. I mean. I’m in my pajamas.”
“You would be underdressed on such a momentous occasion as this.”
“I mean. I just have a gift, I guess.”
“Hm. Seems like it.”
“Anyway, yeah, I think. I think I am gonna go to bed. I’m so tired.”
“Do you think you could come over this weekend?”
“Like stay over?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean. Yeah, I probably can. Why?”
“I’m just. Lowkey really overwhelmed with emotion.”
“What a loser.”
“I really wanna cuddle right now.”
“Sensual attraction!”
“Yeeaah. Plus, we just proclaimed our undying love, and everything.”
“I don’t recall either of us saying undying.”
“I thought it was implied! Don’t break my heart, Murphy.”
“Hm. I guess I’ll try not to.”
“Thank you.”
“No promises.”
“I guess that’s the best I can ask for.”
“…I love you, Bell.”
“Ha! We are that couple. I love you too.”
“…Shut up.”
“I’m hanging up now, but just to summarize, you're asexual, which is awesome; we love each other—also awesome; and, finally, we are that couple. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See ya, Bell.”
“Looove you.”
“Ugh! Love you too.”