Work Text:
Hi
"Hey bro, wanna fight or smth"
That was the message from Flame that started it all.
He just wanted to not let boredom take the best out of him and make him lose Lomedy again.
Lomedy wouldn't mind a spar that wouldn't end with someone dead, now would he?
So, not so long after Flame sent that message, Wemmbu answered- "ok bro"
It was decided.
Flame waved goodbye to Lomedy, who was about to search for a good farming spot. "Just don't die, Flame. " Lomedy begged, then pointed at Flame's shirt, "Also.. Why don't you try to wear something.. Less tight? "
Lomedy stopped mid-step, waiting for Flame to respond. "What's wrong with this one?"
Lomedy shrugged, "Nothing, it just doesn't really seem.. Appropriate for a fight— At least from my perspective! " Lomedy flailed his arm around, trying to balance himseld to not fall under the weight of his basket with seeds.
"Nah, don't worry bro, this is good. Trust me, bro, trust. " Flame waved his hand in a dissmissive manner. "Ok now, bye bro. "
"Byee! " Lomedy waved back, going on his merry way for a good spot to farm on.
Same thing for Flame, though, to find where Wemmbu was because he didn't mention where he was going to be.
So he had to go search all around the servers, doesn't he?
He went to Merchant city, nothing.
Capital city? Nothing.
The great sea? Nothing.
His old base? Nothing.
Spawn? Nothing.
His griefed base? Nothing.
District 13? Still nothing.
Mane's burnt tree? Absolutely nothing.
Not a single trace of Wemmbu. Not a single drop of purple anywhere.
Flame tried to act nonchalant about it, but in the inside? He was trying not to spam Wemmbu.
Though he couldn't resist any longer.
So he sent one rapid message:
"WEMNBU BRO WHETE ARE YOI??? "
"I'm at yo old base what "
"WHEN DID U GET YJERE"
"I HAVE been here bro"
"NO YOU HAVEN'T LIAR"
Now he just had to go back to his old base. What a Wemmbu of a liar!
When Flame arrived, he tied down the lead connected to his horse.
"Bro. WHERE have you been, bro?!" Flame pointed at Wemmbu.
"I have been hanging around here for a WHILE now. " The purple blob crossed his arms, annoyed. "NUH UH. I WAS HERE LIKE 12 MINUTES AGO- And you were NOT HERE. "
Wemmbu rolled his eyes, "My pants aren't on fire, so I'm not lying, but where have you- Wait a minute... "
Wemmbu squinted at Flame, bending down to look at his chest.
(NOTASHIPPPP!!!)
"DUDE. " Wemmbu stood up straight again, "GET A BRA, WHAT??? I CAN LITERALLY SEE IT ALL!! "
Wemmbu gestured with his hands, looking at Flame like a disappointed and enraged father.
"DUDE. WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THIS??!!! "
Flame rolled his eyes under his blindfold, "It's not that deep. Why is everyone just talking about my shirt being too tight? "
Wemmbu looked incredulous, his arms hanging uselessly to his sides, jaw open, mortified. "BECAUSE IT IS. " He snapped, saying it like if it was the most obvious fact ever.
Wemmbu breathed in, just to start screaming again.
"FLAMEFRAGS the FIFTH. " Flamefrags stepped back, raising an eyebrow.
"FLAMEFRAGS THE IMMORTAL DEMON. I COULD EVEN READ YOUR MIND, I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA WEAR THIS- WANNA KNOW HOW?? "
Crickets, except for Wemmbu's heavy breathing.
"BECAUSE OF HOW MANY TIMES YOU'VE DONE THIS. AND I AM DONE! " Wemmbu's voice cracked in rage.
"I HAD TO HUMILIATE MYSELF TO GET YOU THIS. " Wemmbu grabbed something out of his inventory.
"MY REPUTATION WENT DOWN THE DRAIN FOR THIS. " Wemmbu threw a dark red bra at Flamefrags. "I FLEW TO CAPITAL CITY TO HUMILIATE MYSELF. "
Wemmbu clenched his fists. "They were ALL like: Oh my goshhh!!! Look!! It's Wemmbu, one of the strongest players on the server!!! Buying BRAS!!!!!!!' I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO MACE THEM BRO. "
Flame picked up the item thrown at him, "Bro- I.. I don't need this. " Wemmbu looked at Flame dead in the eyes.
"YES YOU DO??? YOU NEED THEM FOR YOUR- YOUR FREAKING BOOBANGAS????? "
Flame shook his head side to side, "No, bro? I am not supposed to wear this! I am too manly for this stuff, Bamboo. "
"Did you just call me-.. Nevermind. But you DO need that, you need support on those things bro. " Wemmbu clicked his tongue.
"Also, being manly does not change the fact that you got those whole ahh F-cups. "
Flamefrags gasped at Wemmbu's words, offended. "Bro, what?? " He brought one hand up to his chest.
"BUT IT'S TRUE THOUGH. " Wemmbu gestured rapidly, "SO PUT THAT THING ON. RRRIGHT NOW. "
"Bro, I am not gonna wear this thing, bro. bro, like bro, it's not that deep-"
"IT IS THAT DEEP FLAMEFRAGS THE FIFTH IMMORTAL DEMON!!!!! " Wemmbu snapped again. "COVER UP YOUR TWO FREAKING- FREAKING BOOBALANGAGOOS BRO. "
Flame opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say, "O-Ok bro, you- You are just talking to talk bro. "
"SHUTTTT UPPPPPP!!!!!! " Flamefrags jolted up, stepping back. "DON'T TEST MY ANGER BUDDY! I CAN LITERALLY SEE YOUR NIPPLES WITHOUT EVEN WANTING TO. "
"Bro- you are just exaggerating, there is no-" Flamefrags looked down, huh... There was no way he was this oblivious to the size. "... You might... Not be exaggerating..... "
Wemmbu looked flabbergasted, in the good way. He was so thankful Flame had finally realized.
"OH MY- Thanks void for letting this man gain consciousness about himself 💜💜! " Wemmbu clasped his hands together, looking up to the sky.
He sighed, looking back to Flame. "Dude, you know how many times you've pushed me around with those THINGS? "
Flame, who was trying to find out how to put the bra on, looked at Wemmbu dead in the eyes.
"Excuse me? I have done WHAT to you??"
"Yeah bro, also, you are wearing it wrong. " Wemmbu pointed at Flame.
"How do you know how to put one of these on? "
"I had to learn stuff in prison. Long story. " Wemmbu sighed. "Also, put it inside your shirt, it's gonna be awkward if u just leave it like that bro. "
"Shut up bro. "
"Shuwt uwp bwo. "