Chapter Text
The water gently rippled as the wind from Mikoto’s wings beat down from above, making his landing just before the shoreline. After a few deep breaths from the length of his journey, the angel leaned forward to watch his reflection in the pristine lake. The waves in the water caused by his arrival eventually gave way to his familiar face. A smile was plastered on it, beneath well-kept hair and a face that could only be described as ‘angelic’, but it didn’t feel natural here.
He let the corners of his lips fall as he kept his gaze in the pool. Alone and in nature, it was fine not to force a smile. That’s exactly why Mikoto came to this lake often, to get away from the hustle and bustle of other denizens of heaven and all their expectations. Angels were supposed to be elegant, glowing, able to light up a room from their cheer. And he kept up appearances just fine, sure, but inside..?
Mikoto felt quite the opposite of whatever an angel should be.
It was just…
Empty.
Mikoto finally set his knees down onto the shore and began to relax. This place was peaceful, and it felt like it was made just for him for when the world got too much.
Something itched away at his brain, though. Mikoto leaned over to stare into the pool again. With a delicate hand, he reached back for his wings and moved them into view.
“They’re darker than yesterday…” he muttered.
Mikoto had tried everything. He’d prayed for hours everyday, tried every purifying magic he knew, and even consulted his friend, Dr. Kirisaki, for medical help. But nothing seemed to give him an answer as to why his wings were slowly changing. He woke up one day to the tips being a bit grayer than usual, but it was so faint that he thought it was just some dust or lint that had piled up under the feathers. Everyday since then, they’d been getting darker and darker, and it was becoming impossible to hide. Folks stared at him as he completed his heavenly duties, whispering things that Mikoto didn’t even want to know.
Had anybody ever seen such a thing before? Was there a cure?
And of course, it didn’t help with the emptiness and sense of shame that Mikoto felt. Maybe he wasn’t as good of an angel as he thought. Maybe he’d failed at something, and this public humiliation and judgement was his punishment. Either way, he worried that he was missing something important.
“Why me..?” Mikoto grumbled, knowing he’d get no reply.
*VSSH!*
Suddenly, there was rustling in one of the bushes behind Mikoto, and he perked up immediately. Had someone followed him to his sanctuary? Mikoto stumbled to his feet, quickly fixing his smile and looking around nervously, as if he had just broken a rule and knew he was gonna be caught.
"Who's there..!?"
*SSSHSHSHSH!*
The noises got louder, and Mikoto slowly unfurled his wings, in case he needed to escape. Normally, he’d have no reason to fear for his safety anywhere in Heaven, but… rumors were going around lately.
A devil had made its way into the holy sanctum.
Reports across the city Mikoto lived in said that there was no mistaking it. Clothed in red and black, large bat-like wings, and no doubt… a lust for blood in its amber eyes. Those who caught a glimpse of the creature even said they thought it was *Mikoto* at first glance, but he had just laughed that off.
Mikoto was in a panic, stuck so far in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice that the bush stopped moving. Instead, footsteps- and a familiar voice- came up behind him.
“You-”
“EEEEP!!!” Mikoto sprung off balance, whipping around so fast and flapping his wings so hard that the visitor fell backwards into the shallow water with a splash.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t expect anyone h-” Mikoto sputtered as he turned around, and saw…
Himself. Dressed in red and black. With dark wings and a fanged scowl on his face.
Mikoto could hardly believe his eyes. All the rumors were true, even down to the uncanny resemblance. He felt a bit offended that this demon was using his appearance, and had the audacity to sneak into his refuge, let alone Heaven.
“You..! You’re the one who’s been doing awful things, and making people think it’s me!”
The creature scoffed. “Worst I’ve done is steal some bread.”
“Well, that… that…” Mikoto sputtered, “That’s still a sin, actually! ‘Thou shalt not steal’ is one of the ten commandments.”
The devil- that bastard- rolled his eyes.
“My appearance too… Are you trying to ruin everything I’ve worked so hard for?” Mikoto tensed up, “I’ve heard of some devils doing that…”
Seemingly out of nowhere, a glimmer of sadness appeared in the demon’s eyes. He slowly pulled himself up from the lakeshore as the angel stepped back in caution.
“You don’t remember, huh..?” His voice had a darker tone as he squeezed the water out of his wings. All accounts of the rogue demon said that they were bat-like, but Mikoto noticed something different about them.
They were about as large as his, and they did have feathers which faded into a soft white at the bottom.
“Remember… what?” Mikoto asked as his counterpart slowly approached.
“A long time ago…” He spoke with reverence, or maybe sadness, “We used to be one.”
After a pause that felt like it lasted hours, all Mikoto could do was laugh.
“That.. Haha, that’s ridiculous..!” Mikoto nervously chuckled, “I’m one of the best performing angels from this citadel! I’d- I’d never be like a-”
“Remember your last job?” The devil cut him off calmly.
Mikoto stared blankly for a moment.
And realized he couldn’t.
He couldn’t remember anything at all from a few months ago, before he was placed at a new post. But upon thinking about it, something did come back to him… Physically. The sore back and wings, the growing twitch in his eye from stress, the queasiness he felt every morning before clocking in…
And a horrible sense of guilt inside his stomach.
“They were pushing you to the brink.” The devil spoke, pleading with his eyes for Mikoto to listen. “You were going to fall. But I… couldn’t let that happen.”
He turned his gaze away from Mikoto as if he were ashamed.
“So… I took on all your sinful thoughts.”
Mikoto blinked. “And… you fell.”
He nodded.
Finally, something clicked. Mikoto had heard stories of fallen angels, cast out from heaven when their minds became corrupted with sin. Most often, it was because they craved too much. Some fell due to their hunger for power. Some fell for their preoccupation with pleasure. And some fell for their dangerous thoughts of violence.
“Violence…” Mikoto muttered barely audibly.
“Huh?”
“I can’t believe it.” He spoke louder this time. The fallen angel seemed to relax with Mikoto’s recognition of what was in front of him.
“I’ve been trying so hard to get back to you,” His tail swished in worry. “To check on you, to make sure you didn’t…”
He trailed off. The two of them held themselves in silence for a moment.
“Are you mad? You’re not gonna hurt me..?” Mikoto finally met his gaze again.
“Never.” His double replied immediately. “The shit they spew in Hell doesn’t appeal to me, either. Your life is all that matters to me.”
The creature gulped as he waited for a response from Mikoto. His eyes seemed transfixed on their hands, which had become intertwined at some point during the conversation.
“Do you have a name?” He finally asked, rubbing his gloved thumb against the blisters and burn scars on the other’s hand. It was like he really did crawl out of hell for Mikoto.
“In Hell, they just call me John Doe.” He replied, “Because I’m ‘unidentified’ in their records, apparently. No one knows who I really am.”
“They don’t know you’re me- an angel.”
“Yeah.” John sighed as Mikoto moved a wet strand of hair behind John’s ear with his free hand.
“I'm sorry I pushed you.”
“Sorry I snuck up.”
“It’s ok.” Mikoto sighed, “My wings are huge and clumsy. I can’t see behind me.”
“They’re…” John started, tracing a hand along the feathers.
“They’re what?” Mikoto jumped a little from the sudden action.
“...Nice.” John’s fingers reached down to where the ombre of gray and black started. “I don’t see nice things like this in Hell.”
He paused for a moment, before spreading out his own wings next to Mikoto’s and comparing them side-by-side. Identical, yet inverted.
“I was wondering why they changed color.”
“Me too…”
Usually, that emptiness, that *hole* in Mikoto's heart that appeared so recently, was always on his mind. It weighed him down so much that he felt like he couldn’t spread his wings and fly. But the whole time he was talking to John, it hadn’t even crossed his mind. It was like he found the missing piece. And now, holding hands like this, even briefly…
He felt it completely disappear.