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On James’ 20th birthday, after a rough breakup and much alcohol, Sirius and James made a deal. If they were both single in 10 years, they’d get married to each other.
Neither of them ever mentioned it again as the years passed and they both fell in and out of relationships that just couldn’t quite seem to last.
As they crept closer and closer toward 30, Sirius couldn’t help but to remember that deal. When he thought about it, why wouldn’t he wanna marry James? He grew to realize that maybe what he felt for his best friend was more than just friendship but love. He was in love with him.
After that epiphany it all clicked and yet, he was too scared to tell James. So he waited, secretly pining in hopes that one day, maybe there would be a chance to tell him.
When James’ 30th birthday finally arrived, he flew back to England to celebrate. A ring he’d bought months earlier weighing heavy in his pocket. This was his chance. He would finally tell James.
As he stepped into the arrivals lounge in the airport, he took a deep breath, preparing to do the scariest thing in his life. Propose to the man he loved and possibly face rejection.
But before his thoughts could spiral, that very same man was coming up to him, a grin wide on his face.
“Sirius!” James drew him into a tight hug before stepping back, “Glad you could make it. I’d like you to meet someone.”
At those words Sirius’ attention was caught by the bright red hair and a beautiful smile of a woman beside James.
“Meet my fiancée, Lily.” And Sirius watched as their hands clasped tightly together, a ring shining bright on her finger.
His heart fell.
He was too late.
Sirius tried. He really did, to be happy for James.
He watched how Lily and James cared for each other and he could see it but, something seemed off. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part from years of yearning after his best friend but there was something he couldn’t quite let go of. Something they weren’t telling him. It showed in their subtle glances, like a shared secret held between friends.
And then it happened.
Sirius hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, truly, he was just looking for the restroom during James’ party but, he paused when he heard his name. Curious, he drew closer to the cracked door of the room where the hushed voices were coming from and recognized James’ voice immediately.
“I don’t know what to do Lil’s. I love him so much but what if he doesn’t feel the same? I know we made that deal when we were young and he probably doesn’t remember or thought it was a joke. But, it was real for me. I don’t want to lose him. He’s my everything. So even if being friends is all I can have, I’ll take it. In a heartbeat. I was so scared he’d reject me or hate me if I’d actually gotten on one knee when he got here. That’s why I asked you to pose as my fiancée, so he wouldn’t feel weird or suspect my feelings. But, now that he’s here? I feel like I’m betraying him somehow. My heart is breaking having him so close, and yet I can’t have him. What do I do?”
“James, you need to tell him. I know I agreed to pose as your fiancée but, I’m breaking off our fake engagement now. As your friend, I need you to know that you will regret not going after him just because you were scared for the rest of your life. Tell Sirius you’re in love with him. I actually think you might be surprised by how he reacts.”
At that, Sirius burst through the door, not being able to walk away after hearing everything they’d just confessed.
“You’re in love with me?”
They both froze.
James turned toward him, eyes wide in shock. He opened and closed his mouth several times before words seemed to find him, “I-I Siri, I can explain…”
But Sirius pushed on, he needed the answer, “Yes or no James? Are you in love with me?”
“Yes, I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for years I just didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to lose you. Please don’t hate me.” James begged, eyes pleading as tears started slipping down his cheeks.
Sirius helplessly let out a small laugh, striding forward to meet him. “I could never hate you Jamie.” He swiped the pads of his thumbs against the other man’s wet cheeks, adjusting his glasses.
Then he leaned in and kissed him. Not caring that Lily watched them or that James’ mouth was slightly wet, tasting like salt from his tears. He kissed him like his life depended on it, and James kissed him back.
When Sirius finally drew back, he stared into those beautiful brown eyes that haunted his every dream. Smiling as he answered the question he saw in them, “I’m so in love with you too, James.”
Then he dropped to one knee, pulling out the ring he’d brought with him. He stared up at the love of his life, “Marry me James? A deal's a deal and I want to make you my husband for life.”
James laughed, reaching down for him and slipping on the ring, “Nothing would make me happier.”
And nothing else did.