Chapter Text
When Emma first gets the call, she thinks it must be a joke. She's corrected quite harshly by the angry father on the other end of the phone.
“This isn’t funny, Sheriff. That lunatic kidnapped my daughter.”
He hangs up and Emma is left standing with the phone still at her ear, confused.
David strolls in moments later with coffee and bear claws. “What’s the matter? Lost boys try to blow up city hall again?”
“Emma blinks. “No..”
“Then what?”
“Apparently,” she begins, trying to remind herself that this isn't even in the top ten most absurd things she's ever said out loud. “Regina has been prowling the school-“
David jumps up, ready to draw his sword right then and there. “Does she have Henry? I swear-“
Emma raises a brow. “Are you gonna let me finish?”
David nods bashfully, lowering himself back into his chair.
“Apparently she’s been waiting when school lets out. And-” she bites her lip and takes a breath before continuing. “She’s been kidnapping children when their parents are late picking them up. And if the reports I've been getting today are any indication, she’s already got an entire horde of kids over there.”
“You’re joking.”
“David. I had enough trouble making her let go of one child. Do you really think I would joke about having to do the same with fifteen?”
“Fifteen?" David’s eyes widen. "I’ll give her one thing, when she does something, she does it big.”
Crossing her arms, Emma glares. “Glad you think it’s so funny, ‘cause you’re coming with me.”
The ride to Mifflin Street is uncomfortably quiet but Emma knows better than to pull up to Regina’s house with her sirens blaring. From the outside, there seems to be nothing out of the ordinary at 108 Mifflin. There's really no indication that are over a dozen schoolchildren being held captive there.
She gets out of the car and turns around to make sure that David is behind her.
“For gods sake David, put your gun away. This isn’t Law and Order. Do you want to be blasted across her yard too?”
David frowns but tucks the gun back into the holster on his hip.
Emma knocks on the door, straining to hear any calls for help in the house. There's a low rumble, like the sound of voices coming from behind the door but Emma can't quite place it. Then suddenly…is that barking?
The door swings open, bringing them face to face with a very irate Regina. “Yes, hello? Can I help you?” she snaps, stepping out and shutting the door behind her quickly.
Emma raises a brow. “How about returning all the kids you've kidnapped this week?”
“I don’t know what you-“
“Save it Regina,” David growls.
Emma turns around and glares at him, which thankfully shuts him up. She likes to at least pretend that law enforcement in Storybrooke has some professionalism.
“I don’t know what misguided attempt at police work you think this-“
Just then, the door opens behind her and a small terrier darts out, running circles around Emma’s legs before settling down on Regina’s foot.
A small pair of hands wraps itself around the door and a little girl pokes her head out. “Regina, do you have any more toofpicks? The boys took all of them and they’re sword fighting with them.”
Regina’s face softens immediately as she turns to crouch down in front of the little girl. “Those are the only ones, Marisol. But why don’t you go in there and tell the boys that I’ll be inside in 5 minutes and if they haven’t returned them by then they’ll be in big trouble. Okay?”
The girl nods enthusiastically. “Scuff, come inside!" she says, clicking her tongue. "Here boy.” Then both the girl and the dog disappear inside the house.
When Regina turns to face Emma, it is without a lick of shame on her face. “Well, they were abandoned by their parents. I couldn't just leave them on the streets, could I?”
Emma’s eyes widen. “Regina, are you crazy? Their parents are looking for them!”
Regina crosses her arms, looking for all the world like a petulant child herself. “Well. They had their chance, and they blew it.”
Emma grits her teeth, counts to ten and tries to remember that she's supposed to be the saviour or something. “Yeah Emma, run for Sheriff in a town full of fairytales, you're definitely qualified enough to deal with a kidnapping lunatic ex evil queen. ” she mutters under her breath.
“What was that, Miss Swan?”
Emma shakes her head. “And when the hell did you get a dog?”
“That, Miss Swan is none of your business,” Regina says with a sniff. “Now if you’ll excuse me, we are baking cookies and I should really make sure none of them have poked out an eye or something. Good day, Emma. Give my worst to your mother.”
And with that, Regina walks back into the house, slamming the door shut behind her.