Work Text:
Though the blood had been on the gloves, hands scrubbed clean after the procedure, Harley could still feel the child's crimson staining his hands. It'd been nearly four years.
He hadn't felt any remorse. Not initially. The sacrifice had been for science. The sacrifice kept the little boy and his odd demeanor at his side, unable to aba- part from him. He'd felt a spark of kindred flame at seeing the quiet, intelligent boy with no friends and.. he knew no one would've understood him. Quinn's potential would've been wasted. At least as one of his experiments the boy would be useful, the boy would not be wasted on a family that raised hands and shouted if other ventures had been of greater interest.
He had saved Quinn, Harley told himself.
Regardless, a worn hand sank into the multicolored tangle of plush at his feet. Scratching his nails into the lions mane, listening to melodic jingling rumbles from Yarnaby. The large felid always made such odd little sounds and carried an odd demeanor about him, something that even Harley couldn't avoid being a bit charmed by. The creature even reminded him of his childhood pet... he refused to admit their connection was endearment, though all others merely coined it as possession anyway. No, he was free to have a soft spot for the experiment and not concern himself with Leith thinking the lion could use him against him.
Something he was beyond grateful for when word of dozens dead to Boxy Boo's maw reached him. Leith would not lay a hand on the kaleidoscopic feline, no. Involvement or none at all, Harley knew the total of dead staff and visitors would be pressed onto his shoulders. He knew the ticking of the candy cat clock on his office wall was merely counting to his eventual demise. At Leith's or Bruno's hands, it would happen. He was horrifically, stomach gnawingly certain of it.
The air felt thin yet thick, curdling in the neurosurgeon-turned-mad-scientist's lungs. Choking on air the further he ruminated on the past weeks, the spinning of their plot like annoyingly scratchy wool into murder dreamt yarn. He was going to die. He was going to die and have accomplished nothing. Been nothing. He'd be forgotten, discarded like a specimen's nonessentials in processing. He wouldn't be shocked if he was fed in parts to Boxy Boo, his amazing creation and the plague on his record. He couldn't help but hold a quiet pride of the experiment-- despite its tipping of his scales and despite it being built upon Ludwig's first success. He couldn't help but despise the furry red jack-in-the-box as well.
His vision darkened to a hazy ink black as he shut his eyes. Sinking. He let himself melt down from his chair, pulled to the allure of the cool tile & rumbling purrs of Yarnaby. He felt shame warm him as he pressed his back to the back of his desk and his oversized companion squished his way on top of Harley's body. Golden legs curling over black dress pants, heavy head with wide blank eyes laid over his chest. His rhythmic sounds growing louder as he nuzzled into his owner's space, offering comfort despite how much he's been hurt. The lion could forgive him. As long as those fingers still brought scratches and that gravelly, lilted voice offered stray praise (in private, as always).
They curled up for an indeterminate amount of time together. The toy trying to ease his owner's breathing, slow his rapid heart, clear his racing mind. Harley had no idea when his arm pulled around the creature's shoulders, hugging Yarnaby close.
The pair, owner and pet, were only pulled back to the real world by the knocking then.. squeeeak of his office door creaking open. If Yarnaby's body hadn't been visible, the doctor would've stayed hidden. As it was though, clearly he was in the office. Wherever Sawyer went, the jingling lion followed. The tension in the doctor's frame did ease at hearing the voice of their intruder.
"... Doctor Sawyer? Is this a bad time? I know we'd planned to meet and discuss progress on the next experiment, but I can return later." The familiar voice of Preston questioned softly. The biologist was.. inoffensive. Weirdly kind. It both eased his tension and ruffled his feathers, so to speak. For a moment, Harley bit his tongue. Hesitating to nudge Yarnaby away. He knows Dr Willard would leave without an utterance of complaint if asked. He knows he could make this much easier on himself, to avoid the warm embarrassment of standing, clothing and hair unkempt from this episode. But, he knew he couldn't. Not if Leith or White moved in quickly.
No, he needed to make decisions and he needed to make them now. Not for his own sake, but Yarnaby's.
A deep breath then he tapped at Yarnaby's back. "Move." He commanded and the lion listened unfailingly, reluctantly backing off the doctor and sitting back on his haunches. Looking over to Preston with an excited wiggle and rattle to his body.. he liked this one too. Yarnaby recognized this one, he fed him treats. He wanted to bounce over and greet him, but he didn't want to leave Harley's side without permission.
Steadying a hand on his desk's side, Harley pulled himself to his knees then stood. Preston looked away, letting the doctor make himself presentable before coming in fully. The younger man offered an awkward smile and a warm cup of coffee. Harley could only give him a nod, taking the cup and darting his eyes askance.
"You tell no one of what you just saw." He hissed out before taking a drink from the cup. It was perfect, as always. He appreciated the other's attention to detail.
"... I know. I won't, don't worry- I don't want to upset you. Beside that, Yarnaby looked.. happy." Preston was careful at picking his words.. and was rewarded with a awkward half chuckle from the clinical man before him. He watched Harley sink into his chair, gesturing for the biologist to sit across from him. He listened to the direction, setting a manila folder of project notes on his lap.
"... Thank you." The words were muttered, a form of bitter venom there. The utterance made Preston pause in surprise, staring at his superior with wide eyes. Harley waved it off. "Don't tell anyone that either. I don't want them thinking I've grown.. soft. Or anything of the sort."
A pause. Visible hesitance, deliberation passed over the doctor's face. He hated offering vulnerability. He hated opening his well kept armor, but... Preston felt like his only option in this case. Anthony was too much of an ass kisser, face buried in Bruno's business. Jessica was wrapped around Leith's fingers. Chloe.. could be an option, though he wasn't as familiar with her. He'd almost consider Stella, but he knew the head of Playcare despised him. The doctor took a deep breath and another drink of his coffee.
"Dr. Willard. Can I.. I know I'd planned a meeting to discuss progress on our subjects. However, are you.. open to discussing another matter first? I'm-" His teeth grit. Knuckles grew white curling over the ceramic cup. Dark eyes glared at the table below. Harley's hesitation melted at the rattling of Yarnaby swaying in place, gaze slipping to study his companion. Preston was watching him but.. there was an odd look on his face that Harley had never seen directed toward himself. Was it... concern? Pity? He didn't want to even think of it, but that was the look the young man gave their experiments when they were under distress. "... I have no one else I would trust with this issue. I understand if you do not wish to talk outside of our planned bounds, however-"
"Har-- ah. Dr. Sawyer. I'm sorry for the interruption, but it's okay. If.. you need someone to talk to, I can listen. Especially if you don't feel.. uh.. safe to speak to someone else." Preston interrupted him, shaking his head. Instant nerves flashed across his face at almost using the doctor's first name, but.. the man before him didn't look enraged as he normally would. He instead nodded, a sigh huffing from his lips as he nodded at the biologists words.
"I appreciate your open mind. It's.. in regards to the future. I know that.. eventually, some day soon perhaps, I may not be here." Harley spoke with a stiff calm despite the roiling in his guts. "Not even may. I will not be here. I know.. I'm certain my time is coming soon. I'm sure Leith is plotting my demise, even as we speak. I would like, once that day comes, for you to promise me something. I.. need you to be there for Quinn. He needs someone who understands him and.. you do well studying the others. I want to be sure he will be looked after."
His ears burned as the words fell from him. But, despite his searing embarrassment, Harley forced himself to watch Preston. The poor man before him looked.. shell shocked. "I just need to be certain someone I.. trust will be here for him-"
"I.. sorry to interrupt again, but it's okay. I.. of course, doctor. I can look after Yarnaby if anything were to happen. He'll be okay. I.. I promise. Nothing will happen to him. The guards and other scientists like his company as well." A gentle voice cut him off. It was with stiff wording but saturated with concern and understanding. Harley wouldn't recognize it but his voice shifted speaking of his favorite creation. It grew.. oddly fond. And his slip of saying Quinn instead of Yarnaby.. it brought recognition to Preston. It sounded like he was a concerned father of sorts. A paranoid, cornered father. "You'll both be okay. I.. don't think Leith would kill you. Aren't you two friends?"
Harley couldn't stifle a jarring laugh at that last question. He startled both himself and Preston with it. "No. No, we are far, far from friends. I'm.. an acquisition of necessity, I suppose. A means to an end that is reaching its end. I do not have.. friends. What a ridiculous notion, Dr. Willard."
He paused after that though. A low huff then.. "Or, more accurately, I'm not built for such. I don't make those connections- you know that as well as any other on our team. I'm too abrasive for it."
".. I see." Preston slowly.. slowly nodded. He bit his tongue. Then, before he thought too deeply on it, ".. I can be your friend. If you'd like."
"No. No, I wouldn't. I.. have had friends before and it never goes well." The rejection was quick, despite the lulling pause. The doctor's hands rung together. Preston watched as the man rubbed them red.
"Okay. But, if you change your mind, I'll be here. You.. aren't alone. Even if you think so. You might have.. a strong personality, but it's workable." Preston felt comfortable lightly jabbing at him while offering reassurance. He.. didn't want to be Harley's friend. Not in the least. But if this man had swallowed his pride, his consuming ego, then things were serious. He'd never been nervous in the time the biologist had known him. He was clearly distressed, even if he'd never admit it. He took a deep breath then.. ".. I'll look over Yarnaby like he was one of my kids. He's very sweet and I won't let him be forgotten. I promise. He won't be hurt even if-"
"When." He was roughly corrected.
"A-alright. When you are gone. He will be okay, Harley." Preston continued, firmly. Uncomfortably meeting his boss' eyes, offering a more determined smile this time. He hesitated then.. reached a hand out for the older man to shake. "I promise. I won't let you down."
There is a heavy pause and then.. Harley reaches across the desk to shake his hand. Preston could feel a faint shake in his fingers, see it as the man pulled away.
"Thank you. I will hold your word to it, Preston." It was strange to hear the doctor say his name, but Preston didn't mind. None of this was as he'd expected, but he wasn't going to complain. Harley hasn't blown up yet so.. this has been a successful meeting.