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He’s doing it again.
“Kim Dokja?”
Is he doing this on purpose?
“Kim Dokja.”
Puffing up his chest like that, I think I’m watching a solar eclipse.
“KIM DOKJA!”
“Hmm?” Kim Dokja hummed leisurely, smiling with his beak upturned towards the other.
It was a pleasant day, straight out of a fairytale. Wispy white clouds encircled the horizon, and the afternoon sun was peeking through. Scattered sage bushes dot the vast flat land like splotches of paint on a blank canvas.
Everything was going as usual: the frigatebird flew to his nesting ground like he owned it for the sage grouse’s regularly scheduled preening session. Just when Kim Dokja was getting used to the frigatebird’s odd obsession with his feathers…
“I can’t get to your underbelly,” the frigatebird stated, tucking his head within the plumage lower on Kim Dokja’s chest. “Show me your stomach.”
…what the fuck?
Kim Dokja raised his brow and squawked when Yoo Joonghyuk roughly shimmied between his feathers and pecked at the sensitive pin feathers without his permission.
“What—stop that, you bastard!” Kim Dokja snapped, slapping the frigatebird’s face with his wings. “My kin usually preen around the neck area, not the under plumage!”
Not even his mother preened that low when he was a chick!
Kim Dokja was sure this could be considered sexual battery, and if birds had their own police force like the humans do, their interactions might involve less trespassing and skinship.
Without a care, Yoo Joonghyuk continued to invade Kim Dokja’s personal space, maneuvering his head and larger body into whatever space was left under him.
His struggles were useless, but that didn’t stop him from trying. Screeching, pecking, flapping—the whole theatrics—Kim Dokja could feel Yoo Joonghyuk slowly being pushed away.
Just a little more…
The next few moments happened quickly.
First, Kim Dokja heard a distinctive ‘poof’, followed by a thump, like something heavy landed on his delicate nest.
Next, the harsh summer sun struck him in the face for a second before his red parasol was replaced with a larger one.
Finally, the sage grouse found himself in a headlock, blinking dumbly as he sat in a rough palm with fingers sprawled up his chest and around his head like a wreath.
“Don’t move, Kim Dokja,” a low gruff voice murmured as another set of fingers began to sift through the rough patches.
This motherfucker—
Kim Dokja couldn’t believe Yoo Joonghyuk would resort to his human form to get his way, but what could he do?
Even as a human, Kim Dokja was proportionally smaller. A whole head difference in all dimensions.
So Kim Dokja fell slack and resigned to his fate, letting Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands roam free over his neck and chest.
At least the bastard was gentle in his preening.
Although his hands were calloused and uneven from scars, the frigatebird’s touch was soft and controlled, rhythmically smoothing out the feathers and rubbing off the calcified shellings from the new ones.
As the man moved to the plumage near Kim Dokja’s legs, he tilted the sage grouse and leaned down to see the frayed endings.
Ahh, the total solar eclipse. Kim Dokja thought dazedly as two Mount Everests came into view.
Through the gentle strokes paired with nature’s ASMR, Kim Dokja let the pleasurable buzz sink into his tired bones, cooing contently under Yoo Joonghyuk’s expert fingers.
Gradually, Kim Dokja began to fall into a peaceful trance. The scene was set perfectly for his mind to wander—thinking about how his life changed since Yoo Joonghyuk barged in, how he turned from an undesirable bachelor to an undesirable bachelor with a house husband.
It was hard to say their relationship was friendship.
Yoo Joonghyuk entered his life like a tornado, quite literally barreling into his secluded home one night and leaving his nest in shambles.
Something happened in the middle—some bickering and A LOT of character development, mostly for Yoo Joonghyuk—and suddenly Kim Dokja found himself a new neighbor.
A new squatter would be more accurate because Yoo Joonghyuk insisted on mooching off of his goodwill.
“You idiot, this nest is too small for both of us!” Kim Dokja wailed while kicking Yoo Joonghyuk with his twig legs with no success.
Yoo Joonghyuk stared incredulously at him like Kim Dokja just said the dumbest thing, then kindly recommended that the sage grouse “just build a larger nest” as his fatass took up 65% of Kim Dokja’s home.
But Kim Dokja couldn’t deny that the nights he shared with Yoo Joonghyuk were the warmest and safest he ever had.
The silent darkness wasn’t as terrifying with someone next to him.
Their friendship(?) was one to be studied under the microscope, as unnatural as they come.
Kim Dokja was a sage grouse and Yoo Joonghyuk, a majestic frigatebird. Even if they traced their ancestry, their closest shared relative was probably centuries ago. Any similarity in their DNA would have been diluted at this point.
Except for one thing.
Kim Dokja side-eyed the enormous span of red that covered 90% of his vision.
Who would have thought a well-endowed chest was one of the only traits to survive from the original gene pool? Funny how Mother Nature determined which were needed for survival, though her favoritism was obvious.
As much as he lamented their size difference, Kim Dokja couldn’t change the rules of nature. He could only observe and obey them.
So when the rules of his species said flamboyantly flashing vibrant chest plumage was to attract potential mates, Kim Dokja could only interpret Yoo Joonghyuk’s intention as such.
And that confused him because it didn’t make sense on so many levels.
Was he flirting with him, or not? Why else would he always puff out his chest when Kim Dokja was around?
This was a riddle that Kim Dokja couldn’t crack and it was driving him insane. The sooner the sage grouse could find out, the sooner he could deal with Yoo Joonghyuk’s “advances”.
“Stop staring at them, Kim Dokja.”
“But you have to admit, Yoo Joonghyuk,” Kim Dokja chirped idly, “They have no shame dancing like that in front of others.”
With the end of winter, there was something foul in the air. It was love and Kim Dokja had the great displeasure of seeing his kin humiliate themselves by auditioning to be pin-up girls.
What great joy to view this spectacle in front-row seats right from Kim Dokja's nest—of course, Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn’t be Yoo Joonghhyuk if he hadn’t invited himself and stuck to Kim Dokja like a leech.
Every season was the same but this year, Kim Dokja will use this hormone-fueled demonstration to finally get answers from the frigatebird.
Let’s start with…
“Puffing up their chest like that,” Kim Dokja thought loudly and side-eyed the frigatebird. “This would probably be equivalent to prostitution.”
…
“It makes you wonder how sincere each sage grouse is when they do that at everything with a pulse,” Kim Dokja continued, leaning back and tossing a glance at the bird next to him, “Is it really love, or is it just instincts?”
Confess your intentions, Yoo Joonghyuk!
“Then stop looking at them, Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk snapped.”You say these acts embarrass you, but you still look at them.”
Kim Dokja clicked his tongue.
What a tough one to crack.
“Because it’s entertaining, Yoo Joonghyuk,” Kim Dokja sighed dramatically, “You should learn to enjoy yourself sometimes instead of obsessing over my self-maintenance.”
The sage grouse pecked the frigatebird’s forehead for good measure, where his eyebrows would presumably be.
“And careful, Yoo Joonghyuk,” Kim Dokja teased lightly. “I hear pouting like that all day will give you wrinkles.”
“Shut up, Kim Dokja.”
And they left it at that, mostly because the sage grouses had begun their mating dance, a kaleidoscope of dusty yellow and faded gray flashing intermittently—blobs of warm brown setting the females apart from the flock of males.
None were fixated on one potential mate and serviced multiple systematically, rotating after each performance.
Do frigate birds do this too? Hopping from one mate to another like a used towel?
…has Yoo Joonghyuk done that to everyone he met?
It certainly feels that way.
Every time Kim Dokja saw him, Yoo Joonghyuk had two inflated bullseyes, parading them around without a care in the world. All the female sage grouses would turn their heads to watch him, fluffing up their own plumage to attract Yoo Joonghyuk.
Rather uncharacteristic for the females of his species, but Kim Dokja understood. Yoo Joonghyuk was objectively handsome with the domestic skills to match. Who wouldn’t want a guy who could cook, clean, provide, and look the part?
Compared to Kim Dokja…
A forlorn coo escaped his beak, drawing Yoo Joonghyuk’s attention, but Kim Dokja wasn’t ready to tell the other his life story that shaped his fragile self-esteem. Their companionship was irreplaceable, and as much as he protested Yoo Joonghyuk’s selfishness, Kim Dokja couldn’t imagine a life without the other anymore.
What if my insecurities annoy him too?
“Hey baby, you look beautiful today.”
Kim Dokja nearly had a heart attack when an unfamiliar voice dropped into their conversation followed by a large shadow that covered his entire body.
It was another sage grouse with one of the best plumage that Kim Dokja had ever seen in his species: majestic feathered collar cascading down to voluptuous yellow air-sacs and well-groomed tail feathers fanned out behind him.
If Kim Dokja was a female, he would be all over him for sure.
If he was a female.
Confused, Kim Dokja looked behind him because it should’ve been obvious that he was a man from his features and coloration.
“I’m a guy?” Kim Dokja informed, puffing out his small chest to make it more obvious. Both of the birds stared at his yellow sacs intensely, one’s fascination clear in his face and the other, more dark and brooding.
Kim Dokja jumped when the guy waddled even closer to him, basically shoving his yellow air sacs in his face.
“Oh baby, I know,” the other sage grouse purred, “My tastes were always different from the other sage grouses.”
Kim Dokja yelped when the sage grouse dared to prod his beak into his collar feathers and sniff.
“There’s something about your small chest and your voice that captivates me, darling~” the other continued as he invaded Kim Dokja’s personal space.
It was strange how uncomfortable Kim Dokja felt when this sage grouse touched him.
When Yoo Joonghyuk disregarded his personal space, Kim Dokja was alright with it—even secretly enjoying it when the frigatebird's attention was solely on him.
But this guy was starting to get on Kim Dokja’s nerves, how he was still trying to woo him when Kim Dokja’s body language screamed ‘Fuck off’.
If the guy touched his chest one more time, Kim Dokja was going to lose it.
“Ah~ those females could never hold a candle to your charm. Let me—”
Before the other guy could touch him again and before even Kim Dokja could react, something grabbed the other by the neck and hoisted him up in the air.
Yoo Joonghyuk stood firmly in the rubble of the nest as he shook the poor, terrified sage grouse in mid-air. His anger was as prominent as the veins running along his forearm and jaw.
“Leave him alone before I turn you into stew,” Yoo Joonghyuk threatened darkly, shaking the poor bird with every syllable. The sage grouse struggled futilely, flapping his wings and kicking the frigatebird’s vice grip.
The guy was nodding frantically, but Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to have no intention of letting the other go. The sage grouse's complexion was quickly turning blue, and his struggle, less vigorous.
That made Kim Dokja nervous.
A frigatebird versus a sage grouse. If Yoo Joonghyuk killed him, this could become an international scandal.
“Calm down Yoo Joonghyuk!” Kim Dokja shouted, transforming into a human and trying to pry his fingers from the bird’s neck, “He was just fucking aro—you’re going to kill him!”
As much as Kim Dokja wished Yoo Joonghyuk would move from his nest, he didn’t want to see the other behind bars for murder!
“Don’t tell me you enjoyed it, Kim Dokja!” Yoo Joonghyuk bit back with a pointed glare. “You didn’t reject him at all.”
The pressure was too much to handle, there was no way the frigatebird would let the other go despite the guy’s begging, Rather it looked like Yoo Joonghyuk was getting angrier the more Kim Dokja was trying to free him, giving accusatory glares for no reason.
The sage grouse had enough.
“Ahhhh… of course I didn’t enjoy it!” Kim Dokja screamed, loud enough to make Yoo Joonghyuk jump. “I wouldn’t let just anyone sniff me like a pervert, you bastard!”
The gears were turning in his eyes and to Kim Dokja’s relief, his grip on the guy finally loosened. Without a second thought, the guy scampered off with his tail tucked between his legs.
Before Kim Dokja could pat himself on his back for his diplomatic negotiations, a large shadow covered his body.
“Then, why do you let me touch you every day?” the frigatebird asked firmly, anticipation swirling in his eyes.
“You mean forced preening.” Kim Dokja corrected, his cheeks warming up. He didn’t know the answer either, why he felt so many emotions when he was with Yoo Joonghyuk.
“You enjoyed it,” Yoo Joonghyuk stated matter-of-factly, his arms finding themselves around Kim Dokja’s waist.
The ‘see, you’re not rejecting my embrace’ look kind of pissed Kim Dokja off—he wanted to smack it off Yoo Joonghyuk’s face.
“You confuse me, Kim Dokja.”
Him?! He was the confusing one?
“You’re one to talk,” the sage grouse retorted, digging his pointer finger into the other’s chest. “You should stop sending me mixed messages, flashing your chest like you’re trying to mate with me.”
Kim Dokja watched Yoo Joonghyuk’s face twist in confusion and then fall to a deadpan like he was questioning his intelligence.
“...It’s a mating ritual…” the frigatebird explained.
“I know so—”
“…for frigatebirds.” he finished, cutting Kim Dokja off.
From the way Yoo Joonghyuk spoke, it sounded like the conversation would end there, all the loose ends tied and the two could go off on their merry ways.
But instead, Kim Dokja had a lot more questions like…
“I’m a guy?”
“I know.”
“I’m not a frigatebird?”
“I know.”
“You’re wasting the seeds of your offspring on me.”
“I also know,”
“I—”
“Shut up Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk covered his mouth with his hand. “Don’t ask me why I love you.”
“You…love me?” Kim Dokja asked, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He thought his ears were playing tricks on him, but the slight pink tint on Yoo Joonghyuk’s cheeks was telling.
So a guy like Yoo Joonghyuk can also feel embarrassed huh?
The sage grouse giggled.
“You are so cute when you are being honest—”
Then Yoo Joonghyuk shut him up with a kiss.