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“Oh dear Christ...”
Aaron lifted his head as much as he physically could from the pillow, but the sudden jolt of pain through his temple caused him to moan out in the early morning haze.
Lying on his stomach, he tried to pull together his thoughts of where he was and why he felt like he had been run over by a bus.
“Fucking Adam,” he whispered.
Bracing himself, he lifted his head for a second time and while the pain was still running like an electric current to the base of his skull, he managed to open one eye and look around.
He found he was completely naked except for one sock on his left foot and tangled up in the duvet on his side of the bed he shared with Robert.
“Where the fuck is Robert?” he thought while turning his head from one side of the room to the next.
As if hearing Aaron’s inner monologue, a pained groan came from the floor at the bottom of the bed.
Shuffling his way down to investigate the sound, Aaron dipped his head over the edge to be met with the pitiful sight of his boyfriend, looking just as bad as he felt.
“What are you doing down there?” Aaron asked with a tone of disbelief.
“Urrrghhh,” was the reply he got.
Aaron leaned his head on the mattress while still looking at Robert who was wearing slightly more clothes, but no less random in their ensemble.
“I’m going to fucking kill Adam,” Robert eventually said, as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, a blanket pooling at his waist.
“Why didn’t you sleep in the bed?”
“I think I fell out after coming back from the toilet, and the blanket was already on the floor so...” Robert explained, acting like it was a completely reasonable explanation for a grown man.
“I think I might be dying,” said Aaron.
“You definitely look it, and I’ve a feeling so do I. How did we get so drunk?”
“Adam” they both replied, forgetting they had already established this fact.
“We should have known it was gonna happen,” added Aaron rubbing his eyes as if hoping it would magically sort out his pain, “Really we should be blaming Vic, she told him he could go out and celebrate the news.”
“Yeah but I feel like that tenth shot was a bit unnecessary,” said Robert with a slight laugh. “That is not how a responsible soon-to-be dad should act.”
Aaron leaned back on the mattress so he was facing the ceiling and smiled. They were all so happy for Vic and Adam when they broke the news and he could see how excited his friend was about becoming a dad.
He was more than happy to spend the night in the Woolpack celebrating and Adam had insisted on ‘Uncle Robert’ joining them for the occasion. All well and good but countless pints and shots later, plus a few memory gaps from the night before and Aaron was dreading the day ahead.
Robert appeared in his line of vision with blonde hair sticking out in all directions. Aaron knew he probably looked just as funny, but he really had to hold back a laugh at seeing his usually stylish and professional boyfriend in such a state of disarray.
“I feel like someone has clubbed me over the head,” Robert said, leaning his head on the mattress and turning so he was face-to-face with Aaron.
“Well, did you piss off my mum last night, because then there is a very high possibility...”
“Fuck I hope not,” Robert replied, looking as though he was trying to piece together events from the night before, but failing miserably.
“This could be a serious issue,” Aaron teased him.
“No your breath right now is a serious issue.”
“Oi! You not at your best right now either Sugden.”
“Have you got anything on today?”
Aaron took a moment to think. He had no work, Liv was in Dublin visiting her mum, and he had spent the previous afternoon with Paddy and Leo, so he was all caught up there.
“No” he answered, with a hint of disbelief. “You?”
“Nope,” Robert replied, a second later a wide smile spreading across his face as though a stroke of genius had just hit him.
“Hangover day?” he said hopefully.
“Hangover day,” Aaron happily replied.
***
One hour later and Aaron and Robert were stood in David’s shop staring at the various items on the shelves. Having managed to muster the energy for a shower they geared themselves up for the five minute walk to the sacred place that held everything the needed – hangover munchies.
“You’re panic buying,” Robert told his boyfriend with a knowing look.
“No I’m not!” Aaron replied with a look of indignation, “This is what I want.”
Robert looked in Aaron’s basket which held numerous fizzy drinks, a tub of pre-made jelly and a pepperami.
“You do this every time,” laughed Robert. “Unable to think clearly, so you throw together the most random choices. Just get crisps and chocolate like a normal person who feels like they are about to die.”
“I’m very excited about my jelly and pepperami, thank you very much,” Aaron said, but he knew Robert was right. He was always right.
Their eyes met just as they each huffed out a laugh in the middle of the shop.
“I might still be a bit drunk,” said Aaron.
“Alright you two, didn’t expect to see you here this early, or at all actually,” David called to them as he walked behind the counter and took his seat.
“Why’s that?” asked Robert.
“You were wasted last night! I thought you’d be spending the day with your heads down a toilet.”
“Well the day is young...” said Robert. “I don’t remember seeing you in the bar last night.”
“Nah, I only called in to get Tracy, she was really drunk as well. But you two... ha!”
Aaron and Robert looked at each other. Aaron shifted uncomfortably while trying to remember the night before and how bad their behaviour actually was, but still he was coming up short.
“Well you weren’t as bad as Adam maybe,” David continued, before looking at Robert. “But I could tell you were pretty drunk when you told me I was, wait what was it... oh yeah “an absolute gentleman, even if I did have a stupid face"."
Aaron scoffed while Robert opened his mouth in embarrassment.
“Erm, yeah sorry about that,” said Robert with a hint of a blush. “Could have said worse I suppose.”
“True,” David laughed. “I mean you did tell Lawrence he was the devil incarnate and you were gonna start carrying holy water for protection.”
“Ha ha I remember that,” Aaron chirped up from Robert’s side, “He was so pissed off.”
“Well, I wasn’t lying was I,” Robert replied with a smile. “That one I will stand by.”
“Better ring these up then?” David said nodding towards their baskets, “You two look like you gonna enjoy a day on the sofa.”
“Yep,” Robert said with a smile, but praying he didn’t bump into Lawrence on his way home, not in this state.
***
“Well?”
“I’m thinking!”
“Hurry up then,” Aaron said impatiently. “It’s not that difficult.”
They were spread out on the sofa in the back room of the Woolpack, facing each other with their collection of junk food placed randomly around them.
Robert had brought the duvet from their bed downstairs for extra comfort as they lazed around in their jogging bottoms and slightly ratty t-shirts - not even having a hint of shame when Charity questioned if they were going to remain there for the rest of the day.
“Mate, seriously, just pick one,” Aaron said with a tone of impatience. If he had known Robert was going to put in this much thought he would never have asked. “Oh for the love of.... Phillip Schofield or Holly Willoughby?!”
“It’s a tough question!”Robert protested.
“It really isn’t though. I’m a gay man and even I’m thinking I would rather have sex with Holly.”
“Yeah, but Phillip has that silver fox thing going on...”
“Haha so does Lawrence.” said Aaron with a smirk.
“Ewww shut up!” Robert replied with a look of disgust. “Ok fine, you’re right, I would definitely rather sleep with Holly.”
“Finally! God, what sort of a world is it when your bisexual boyfriend can’t even tell you which morning television presenter that’s totally out of his league he’d rather sleep with.”
Robert laughed as he took a drink from his large bottle of fizzy orange. On this particular day it felt like nector from the Gods to him.
The range of junk food and drinks had definitely brought both Aaron and Robert around to a more human feeling slightly, and the painkillers they had taken before heading out to the shop had begun to work their magic.
They both felt all that was needed now to really cure their hangover was something greasy from Marlon’s kitchen, which he had already promised to prepare them when the time came.
In the background an episode of Sons of Anarachy was playing on the television, but was being ignored due to the burning question Aaron had asked Robert.
“Alright then, your turn,” Robert said, narrowing his eyes at Aaron with a playful smile. “Tom Hardy or...”
“Tom Hardy,” Aaron immediately answered.
“I haven’t given you the other option yet!”
“Doesn’t matter, the answer will be Tom Hardy. It is always Tom Hardy.”
“Tom Hardy or me??”
Silence fell over the room, as Aaron smiled at Robert, who had raised his eyebrows and tilted his head in challenging way. “Careful Dingle.”
“Errrm....”
“You have two seconds to answer the question and if you know what’s good for you...” Robert laughed.
“Ermmmm..” Aaron repeated while twisting his mouth as though he was really struggling to come up with an answer.
“That’s it!” Robert exclaimed and he jumped from his position to reach Aaron and began poking and tickling his ribs.
“Get off me!” Aaron protested, but the laughter in his voice meant Robert only continued, this was when he adored him the most.
“Alright you! It’s you... it’s always you,” Aaron said in between Robert’s fingers jabbing into his side.
Robert smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on Aaron’s lips, before smugly replying: “Damn right it is.”
***
Robert stared at his phone with a look of confusion.
“I don’t get what Vic means in this message,” he told Aaron, who was now lying on his side sleepily watching the TV.
“What do you mean?”
“She text to ask how we were feeling, saying Adam hadn’t left his bed yet and she was not amused. I replied with ‘Not too bad now, food and painkillers have helped. Just gonna Netflix and chill for the rest of today’. And she’s replied with this...”
He turned his phone around to show Aaron the message.
14:23 – Vic
I don’t need to know that Robert!
Aaron laughed at Robert’s confusion.
“Well, grandpa Robert, Netflix and chill means having sex so you’ve basically told your sister that you’ve been having you wicked way with me.”
“How on earth does Netflix and chill mean having sex?”
“That’s just what the kids are calling it these days mister,” Aaron replied in a mocking tone. “Don’t worry grandpa, I’ll keep you up to date with all the cool lingo.”
“Shut it, you’re hardly that much younger.”
“At least I’m still down with the kids.”
“That will happen when your best friend has the maturity level of a 12 year old.”
“Oh that would be your brother-in-law would it? I’m telling Vic what you said.”
“Grass. You’ve changed, you know that,” Robert replied with a teasing smile. “What happened to you?”
“Life! Life happened to me,” Aaron said with a laugh, before lifting his phone, realising he hadn’t checked his messages all day.
Flicking through his texts a sudden look of confusion, followed by embarrassment spread across his face. After a moment of silence he quickly glanced at Robert, before returning to his phone and trying to appear casual.
“Erm, yeah ... so I might have accidently led Finn to believe I wanted to have sex with him last night.”
***
“Stop laughing it’s not funny!”
“It’s fucking hilarious!”
When Chas had finished her shift in the bar she made it clear they were not welcome to slob about in the backroom any longer so they retreated upstairs to their bedroom.
Robert was lying on his back with his face in his hands laughing at Aaron’s unintentional mistake, the symptoms of his hangover making him giddy.
With Aaron lying on his side next to his boyfriend he rested his head on Robert’s chest, completely embarrassed but also catching the infectious laugh.
“I was trying to be nice!” Aaron explained. “I felt bad for him when Adam mentioned that guy had left in the middle of the date, so I thought it would be nice to say that he was a catch and anyone would be lucky to have him.”
“Yeah except, you text him ‘I think you’re lovely, I’d be lucky to have you. We should hang out more’.” Robert laughed.
“Yeah well I was a few jaeggarbombs in at that stage, it got lost in context.”
"Clearly, he thought you were trying it on."
Robert huffed out one final laugh before turning to his boyfriend, smiling as he stroked his face. He knew only too well Aaron wanted to make Finn feel better, it was just his nature.
He smiled lovingly at the younger man, forever impressed by his ability to think of others and he silently promised himself to be a better man for him.
Robert kissed his forehead gently which Aaron leaned into with a shy smile.
But once again the hilarity of the situation took over so Robert leaned back and shook his head. “Can’t believe you tried it on with my mate.”
“Since when are you and Finn mates?” Aaron scoffed.
“What you on about? We’re dead close, we spoke... that one time...” Robert replied with a smile.
Aaron rolled his eyes. “Yeah well next time you’re talking to your best friend can you explain that I was not trying to come on to him.”
“Not a chance.”
***
They sat at the table finishing off the deliciously greasy burger and chips Marlon had prepared for them, revelling in their hugely successful hangover day.
“Urgh you two sad cases again?” Chas quipped as she came through from the bar.
“Always a pleasure mother,” replied Aaron.
Chas smirked as she curled up on the sofa, “Feeling better are we?”
“I am after that burger,” Robert said, gulping down the rest of his drink and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I would kiss Marlon if I didn’t think he would enjoy it.”
“Eww” Aaron said with a deadpanned tone.
“So when are you gonna sort out your plans with Pearl,” Chas asked casually with a knowing smile.
“For what?” Aaron replied, his eyes on the TV.
“Well you did tell her you would take her out sometime soon – just you and her,” Chas answered, waiting for realisation to appear on her son’s face.
Robert once again burst out laughing. “I remember this!” he exclaimed. “You cornered Pearl last night and told her she was like a gran to you.”
“OK, now you’re just making shit up.”
“Haha I’m really not. You told her she was just lovely and you were going to take her out for a nice meal, just the two of you.”
“She called into the bar earlier asking where you were,” Chas chipped in.
“Crap.” Aaron replied, suddenly remembering.
Tears were now escaping from Robert’s eyes, once again falling into a fit of laughter at Aaron’s drunken actions.
“Don’t know what you’re laughing at sunshine,” Chas said to Robert as she got up to put the kettle on. “You and Rishi are going on a lads night tomorrow night.”
***
Back in bed, they lay in their usual position with Robert wrapping his arms around Aaron as he pulled him back as close as possible to his chest.
“So Dingle, what lessons have we learnt today?” Robert said while placing small kisses on the back of his boyfriend’s neck.
“Don’t drink and text?”
“Well done. I would say don’t call your ex father-in-law the devil, but like I said, I completely stand by that one.”
“Fair enough. How about don’t arrange nights out with random villagers?”
“That’s definitely first on the list,” replied Robert, tangling his feet with Aaron’s for warmth.
Aaron quickly turned round and planted a kiss on Robert’s lips, smiling as his arms immediately enveloped him.
Pulling his head back slightly, but keeping their bodies pressed together, Aaron looked at him: “Actually, first on the list would be to never go drinking with Adam again.”
“Fucking Adam,” Robert replied with a smile, happily resuming their kiss.