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Robby watched carefully as Jack manoeuvred around the kitchen, cutting up vegetables and leaving a broth to simmer on the stove. He sighed in relief, reflecting on the peaceful nature of domestic life. As he savoured the musky scent of a simmering broth, he leaned back on his chair and continued reading his book detailing facts about motorcycles - all whilst keeping a watchful eye on their 6-year-old grandson Liam, who was playing quietly with his cars on the floor next to him.
It had been a difficult move for the children after their mother's death the previous year. It had been a horrid mess in which Jack and Robby were able to keep moderately hushed and away from the harsh beams of public opinion. The boys didn't need any more intrusion on their already complex lives, especially not their 10-year-old grandson Jacobi who was struggling with the changes.
Out of the corner of his eye, Robby could see Jack glancing up at Jacobi every now and then. He knew Jack was worried but would never let on to his mushy side that cares endlessly about their grandsons. He always needed some sort of front to prove he wasn't attached, even though that’s a completely normal sensation. Robby laughed thinking about it, about his husband's affectionate persona that always needed to be hidden.
Jack finished cooking the vegetables and added them to the broth to simmer whilst he had a moment to relax. He looked affectionately at Robby and Liam before turning to survey Jacobi, who was perched on the sofa watching the TV. He worried about his eldest grandson, who had become very quiet and closed and was frequent to outbursts of anger. They'd mentioned the prospect of therapy a few times, but they knew that it was a big step for Jacobi and mostly just wanted to avoid the apocalyptic tantrum that it would inevitably cause.
"How long do you think it will be until it's finished, Jack?" Robby asked, closing his book and turning to face his husband.
"About 5 minutes, I just need to dish it all up babe." Jack replied, getting their teal plates out from the cupboard and placing them on the counter.
Robby rubbed his hands together and started playing on the floor with Liam, whose energy and innocence was refreshing for the whole family.
"Guess what we learned about in school today grandad!" Liam exclaimed, excitedly jumping up from the floor and clambering onto the armchair.
"Hmmmmm, why don't you tell me all about it…" Robby smiled.
"Well, we learnt all about different flowers and then the teacher taught us how to make chains with the daisies, so we got to go outside and make massive chains of flowers. It was so cool."
Robby laughed and thought back to the simpler times of when he was a child and his biggest worry was how long he could make a daisy chain. The nostalgia flooded over him as he watched Jack spoon their dinner onto plates, creating a wonderful aroma of fresh vegetables and chicken stock. God, he loved his husband.
"Come on now kiddo, go and wash your hands before dinner okay," Robby asked, picking Liam up from the armchair and starting him in the direction of the bathroom. Liam skipped along happily towards the bathroom and started to wash his hands.
Jack turned towards Jacobi, "Hey J, you wanna go and wash your hands too ready for dinner," gesturing towards the bathroom. Jacobi ignored him and carried on watching the TV without any movement.
"Jacobi? Did you hear what I just said?"
Again, Jacobi just lay motionless on the sofa with no response, eyes fixed on the show he was watching and a scowl forming on his face. Jack sighed.
"We're not doing this again Jacobi, get up and go and wash your hands." Jack declared sternly, deciding enough was enough.
Jacobi suddenly snapped back, "No, I don't feel like it." Surprise settled on Jack's face as Robby walked into the conversation, looking just as shocked.
"I didn't ask you if you felt like it bud, I told you to wash your hands and I'm not going to ask again. We can easily take away those TV privileges can't we Robby…"
Robby nodded along, desperately wanting to deescalate the situation before a whole civil war broke out. These days, Jacobi was so unpredictable that you were never sure where a conversation would lead and how angry he would get even about the smallest of things.
"Come on J, you'll be starving and after you can go back to watching your show." Robby said calmly, hoping that Jacobi would take the peaceful resolution.
Jacobi said nothing and carried on watching the TV, completely ignoring the pleas of his grandad.
"Okay, well you've made your choice then really. No TV for today and tomorrow." Robby sighed.
In a fit of anger, Jacobi scrunched up his face and punched the cushion next to him, whilst snapping, "Can't you two just fuck off and leave me alone for once!"
Robby and Jack were taken aback for a second, before Jack sprung into action. He stomped out from behind the kitchen counter and into the living room, yanking Jacobi up by his arm and leading him towards the stairs.
"You know that is not how we speak to people, even when we're angry!" Jack scolded, keeping his voice low and stern.
He pulled Jacobi up the stairs and into his bedroom, closing the door shut behind him. Robby put his head in his hands and turned towards Liam, who was sitting innocently at the dining table waiting for his dinner. A wave of pity flooded over Robby as he heard Jack's muffled shouting from upstairs. That poor boy, he was going through so much grief and he felt as if there was nothing he or Jack could do to help him. It was a different story with Liam, as he was so young that he had blocked out a lot of his mother's death - whereas for Jacobi it continued to haunt him relentlessly.
After a couple of minutes, Jack came back down the stairs with Jacobi nowhere in sight. He sat down at the table with Robby and Liam and began to eat, with the other two following in tow. As Liam babbled on about his day and about different animals, Robby and Jack shared a look of understanding. Robby hoped Jack hadn’t been too hard on Jacobi, but he understood that they couldn’t let him get out of control like that. It was all just such a mess.
They continued with their meal, all of them talking about different topics like the hospital, a funny story about Whittaker spilling coffee down his scrubs and, of course, daisy chains. All in all, it was a peaceful dinner between the three of them, with Jacobi in his room upstairs.
Once they finished eating, Robby gathered up the plates and started to place them in the sink with some hot soapy water. Jack sat Liam down on the sofa with a book about reptilian animals and then moved into the kitchen, coming over and hugging Robby from behind.
“I always feel so bad when this happens, Rob, it’s like we can do nothing right with him.” Jack said quietly, making sure that Liam was too preoccupied with his book to hear them.
Robby sighed, “I know, I know. But you did the right thing … and that's what matters for now. We just need to get him through it.”
Jack nodded and grabbed Jacobi’s bowl out from the oven, where Robby had placed it to keep it warm for the time being.
“I’m gonna take this up to him and try and make some peace. Hopefully he will have calmed down by now.”
Robby smiled and kissed Jack, enthralled with the caring nature of his husband. He didn’t know what he’d do without Jack.
Holding the plate carefully, Jack walked up towards Jacobi’s room and knocked softly on the door. He opened it to find his grandson lying face down in the pillows, seemingly hiding from the world around him. He placed the bowl on the nightstand and sat down next to the unmoving figure, mindful of giving him his space.
“Look J, I hate it when we argue like this and I know it’s never easy for you, hell I know that, but I just want the best for you.” Jack said softly, looking ahead at the blue walls that had a few posters up on them. These conversations were never simple.
“I get that you’re angry and want space, but I can’t have you speaking to me and grandad like that. We’re just trying our best and it’s new for everyone. Please Jacobi, just give me something, anything.”
Jacobi just lay there, refusing to even look at Jack. He just wanted his space and to be away from everything and everyone.
Jack sighed and rubbed Jacobi’s back for a second before getting up. He could tell that there was going to be no enlightening conversation here and that these things took time. Wounds can’t be healed within a day, a week or even a month. They need structure and love to fully heal and this is a time consuming process. One that Jack and Robby were willing to endure if it meant that Liam and Jacobi could survive this trauma and become decent human beings.
As Jack was leaving the room he softly said, “I’ve left your dinner on your nightstand for you kiddo, just come and speak to me if you need me. I’m always here.”
And so, as Jack and Robby settled down for the night in their living room, Jack watching the TV, Liam playing with his animal figures on the floor and Robby reading his book, there was a glimmer of hope shining out from underneath the foundations of peace. A hope that this family could heal from the past and continue to flourish. A hope that everything would be okay.