Adult Content Warning

This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.

• Yes, Continue
• No, Go Back

If you accept cookies from our site and you choose "Yes, Continue", you will not be asked again during this session (that is, until you close your browser). If you log in you can store your preference and never be asked again.

1. You Talk of The Pain Like It's All Alright by BenchedLoon (elclaro99)

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)  

   • Mature
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   25 Feb 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Depressed Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander
   • Depression
   • Self-Harm
   • Mental Health Issues
   • Mentioned Irina Rozanova
   • Sad Ilya Rozanov
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Angst and Hurt/Comfort

   Summary

   It wasn’t that he wanted to die, per say, but the thought of it became more and more appealing as the years dragged on. Oftentimes it wasn’t even because he missed his Mama, though he did, with every fiber of his being. It was just that he didn’t really feel like there was a point anymore. There was nothing to live for. Yeah, he had hockey, but even that was becoming a chore. He did it so Father wouldn’t constantly be on his ass calling him a lazy, useless waste of space. He felt as if any joy or love or any positive emotion had been covered by that thick, dark cloud that spread and spread until he could feel it in his lungs with every breath. Much like the cigarettes he was breathing in by the carton, he welcomed it. Welcomed the dark and found himself becoming intimately familiar with each whisper of its wind.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   3,179

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   1

   Kudos:

   60

   Bookmarks:

   9

   Hits:

   707