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Malcolm Reynolds had to be cursed.
There was frankly no other explanation. Inara did not know what the spiritual culture had been like on Shadow before the bombings, but maybe there were prairie witches out there. That seemed like something a ranch planet would have—Kaylee had said the words "granny witchcraft" once in a while, and Mal had mentioned once that her homeplanet made him wistful for home. Maybe he had done something to annoy one of the witches that lived in Shadow's valleys and she had cursed him. With his behavior, Inara would not have been surprised.
Why else did every single job end up like this?
And why was Inara the one paying for it?
This particular outing had started off with a robbery of Kerry's First Alliance Bank location. Kerry was widely known throughout the 'Verse as a particularly boring planet, and Inara supposed that the rival gang who had appeared at the bank on the exact same day also figured that this particular bank branch would be sleepy and unguarded enough for an easy payday.
Thankfully the curse had not resulted in anyone on Serenity's crew making any work for Simon, but it had resulted in the other gang's leader snagging one cash bag (that was fine) and Inara herself (less fine) on the way out the door. She stumbled along with him, acutely aware of the gun muzzle at her temple the whole time.
"How far do you think you'll actually get?" Inara asked him as evenly as she could manage as he hauled her down the street towards the docks, taking alleyways and side streets.
"Shut up."
"Because you don't know what kind of tracker we have," she added. "Not to mention how good our pilot is."
He pulled her down a few more narrow passages, almost running out into the middle of a group of policemen who were clearly heading for the ruckus at the bank.
"You're ruttin' lucky you're still alive," he told her. "After your woman took out half my gorram crew I shoulda brained you to get even."
"She's the fastest shot you'll ever meet," Inara replied. "You're the one who's lucky to be alive."
He let go of her for a split second, but it was just to yank her around to face him. He slapped her across the face and without thinking, Inara immediately backhanded him right back on her way back up to standing tall. She was wearing her big cocktail ring with the pink stone and he wasn't expecting it, but she was still more than a little shocked to watch him go sprawling in the dust. She seized her moment and put her foot on his neck, pressing on his jugular. He began to struggle against her shoe, but thankfully the crew rounded the corner a bare second later. Jayne took one look at the rapidly developing mark on Inara's cheek and happily took over "foot on neck" duty.
"You think you can get away with anything, don't you?" Inara spat down at the crook as she shook out her skirts. "It's about time someone taught you that isn't how it works out here."
There was a gentle hand on her arm and a solid arm around her shoulders and she looked up to see Zoe looking down at her with warm eyes.
"Who are you?" Zoe teased. "Who is this woman who sends hardened criminals into the dirt?"
Inara blushed.
"I have a good influence near me," she said.
"Let's get you back to the ship," Zoe said, laughing. "Have your hand checked out."
"It's nothing serious," Inara assured her.
"Well…maybe we don't need to bother Simon, but I know how to check a hand after someone gets into a fight," Zoe said.
Mal scooped up the wayward cash bag and kicked the gang leader in the head, and then they hurried back to Serenity before the police could figure out that the ruckus was no longer actually at the bank.
"Are you injured?" Simon asked as Zoe led Inara into the medbay and River took them up off of Kerry.
"Nothing serious, Doctor," Zoe said. "I'll handle it."
"Zoe, I can…" He glanced between the two of them and then cottoned on to Zoe's loaded expression. "…go check in with the captain." He turned on his heel and left the room.
Zoe went about her check up silently, first cupping Inara's face with one hand and softly pressing two of her fingers against the bruise. Inara gave a hiss of pain and Zoe stopped.
"You alright?"
"Fine. It's just tender."
"It doesn't look too terrible," she told Inara. "We'll get you an ice pack to put on that."
Inara knew that an ice pack meant a freezer burned bag of value sized mixed vegetable medley wrapped in a dish towel, but she also knew that it would work, and the swelling would be minimal and she'd just be left with the bruising and discoloration.
Zoe continued her examination, carefully wiggling the cocktail ring off of Inara's finger and placing it with care on the counter before she started gently manipulating each of Inara's knuckles.
"Any tenderness? Pain?"
"Not really," Inara told her. She could have easily said this isn't necessary—I took him out mostly based on surprise, but there was something comforting about the methodical process and genuine concern. Zoe's mouth was pursed and Inara eventually realized that the exam had taken a turn into Zoe just quietly holding onto her hand.
"Zoe?"
"Never wanted you to end up in that sort of situation," Zoe admitted. "When you first rented the shuttle I gave the captain a lashing over it. Thought you'd be a liability if we put you in danger all the time. Now I just…I'm sorry about the sort of situations our work has put you in."
"Zoe, I would not come along on jobs if I did not want to help you. And the crew. You and the crew."
"You didn't always," Zoe pointed out. She was refusing to look Inara in the eye and her thumb was rubbing soothing circles over Inara's knuckles, although whether she was trying to soothe Inara or herself wasn't clear. "You used to just rent a shuttle and keep out of danger. You stuck to your Sihnon values and you were safe. I think seeing that you still wear all your silks every day tricked me into thinking you hadn't gone full Rim smuggler like the doctor."
"I don't think it's healthy to try to pretend I'm someone that I haven't been for months," Inara said.
"I didn't want you to have to change so much to survive out here."
"It isn't something you asked of me, and it hasn't been such a terrible thing, has it?"
"I guess not." Zoe finally looked up and her and gave her a small smile. Inara returned her own reassuring smile and then took a chance and tilted her bruised cheek towards the other woman.
"Kiss it better?"
Inara's bravery was rewarded with a startled huff of laughter, and then Zoe brushed Inara's hair back and there was the soft, warm press of a mouth against her cheek.
"Let's go get you that ice pack."