Work Text:
Desperation clung to her as she pushed her way towards the train wreck, "SAM!" She had to find him. She had been the reason they came back to LA. It was a mistake, but Sam loved her enough to come here. She wanted to visit her mother's grave to let her know that she had found happiness. In the back of her mind, she knew that there was a chance she would see him again; she just didn't count on it being while she was in the middle of arguing with another firefighter.
"Abby?"
The sight of Abby Clark had Buck coming to a halt. A year ago, he would have been thrilled to see her again; he would have gone rushing to her side after all, Abby Clark would always be his first love. He had been a playboy before Abby, yes, he had been looking for a home and a family, but with her, he had allowed himself to dream of a future with someone that he loved. But in the end, Abby left him just like everyone else left him.
Abby left, and Maddie came back. Maddie being gone from his life had left a deep scar. Learning what Doug had put her through had destroyed Buck. He blamed himself for not seeing the signs. But his sister was free and safe from Doug.
Abby left, and Eddie appeared in his life, and he brought with him Christopher, the boy, who was made of pure sunshine.
He waited for Abby to return, no matter how many times people tried to talk to him. Make Buck see that Abby wasn't coming back, that she had broken his heart.
"She wants to get up into the train." Eddie's voice pulled him out of his spiral, Buck's eyes flickered to his, and he saw the anger and protectiveness shining in those honey eyes he loves so much.
"I need to save my fiancé!"
Buck couldn't contain his flinch. He has felt all kinds of pain in his life, the fire truck landing on his leg nearly taking the job and the family he made away from him. The fear and helplessness of the tsunami when he lost Christopher. The heartbreak he faced when he learned that Eddie was married. They all hurt him in different ways, but learning that Abby had moved on and was marrying another broke his heart in ways that he never thought it could.
Next to him, Eddie shifted beside him. He knew what Abby meant to him. Eddie had gone through that with Shannon; she had been his first love, and while they tried to make it work mostly for Christopher, they realized they were better off as co-parents and as friends. Still, Shannon would always be Eddie's first love, just like Abby would be his.
"We will do what we can," Eddie growled as he took a protective stance in front of Buck. Anger surged in him that Abby would use Buck's feelings towards her as a way to manipulate Buck to do something dangerous to help save the man she loves. He could understand that he had gone down a dangerous path when Buck got hurt, and Shannon asked for a divorce.
"I love him." Some part of Abby knew what she was doing was wrong, that she was hurting Buck and using his feelings for her to get him to do what he wants, but she had to save Sam; she would make things right with Buck after Sam was safe.
Buck flinched as Abby easily said those words as she looked right at him, pushing at that sore spot that would always belong to her.
"Enough!" Eddie growled as he looked into Abby's eyes, "I get it that you are scared about someone you love, but you will not use how Buck once felt about you against him, to get him to try and do something dangerous to save your fiancé. It is just cruel what you are doing. We do our best to save everyone we can, and you should know that no one tries harder than Buck. So let us do our job and stay out of our way. I will not let you manipulate Buck as you are trying to do right now."
Abby felt herself taking a step back. "I...I'm..." The words just couldn't come as she looked helpless at Buck and his partner, who was ready to defend Buck against any threat, and he clearly saw her as one.
Sure that his point had been made, Eddie turned to face Buck, who was looking at him like he couldn't believe that someone defended him. Eddie vowed to hunt down and unleash the fear of Athena on everyone who dared to make Buck feel like he wasn't worthy of love. "Come on, Buck, we have people to save." Putting his arm around Buck, he manoeuvred the other man away from Abby.
"Right, Eds." Buck smiled at his partner.
The possessive side of Eddie was pleased that Buck was fully focused on him and not Abby.
+*****+
Abby didn't know how, but somehow Buck and his team had saved Sam. She had hoped to see Buck again before they left to take Sam to the hospital instead it was Hen who was waiting for them in the back of the ambulance.
"Buck isn't coming." There was a sad but protective look in Hen's eyes, and Abby knew that while Hen had liked her, Buck was someone she saw as a little brother, and Abby was the woman who had broken his heart.
"I had never meant to hurt him," Abby admitted as she took Sam's hand in hers.
"I get that you might have started out not wanting to hurt him, but in the end, Abby, you did." Hen's voice held no contempt but just facts. "He waited for you, and you should have told him that you weren't coming back before this. He deserved better than being ghosted. And it's not me that you owe the truth to its Buck."
Abby knew that Hen was right; she just wasn't courageous enough to reach out and phone Buck and give him the explanation that he deserved the day she left. For now, she would focus on Sam; he needed her, and he was who mattered.
It took three days before Abby found the courage to send Buck a text message asking him to meet at the park they once visited often.
It took another day before she saw him again, and Abby was blown away again at how handsome he was, watching the sunlight shine on his blond hair. 'He still looks like an angel.' It took Abby longer than she would like to admit to force herself to move to join Buck, where he was sitting.
"Abby, hi." Buck greeted as he climbed to his feet, a soft smile on his face.
A sharp pain went through Abby's chest as she realized that the smile Buck gave her was guarded and not one that he had ever given her before. Licking her lips, she sat down and waited for Buck to join her. "I'm really glad you agreed to meet with me."
“Honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to," Buck admitted.
Abby knows she deserved that; she had hurt Buck first.
"Do you know, I just keep practicing saying goodbye to you. From the moment you stopped answering my calls or putting me on read. I just couldn't let you go because I loved you. I waited for you, Abby, for months despite everyone telling me to move on. I waited for you." Buck needed Abby to understand how much she had hurt him. “I kept myself believing that you were going to come back to me because you loved me as much as I loved you.”
"Buck..." Abby couldn't explain why she had hurt Buck the way she did.
Buck shook his head as he turned to face her, "Don't, I don't want to hear it, Abby. I just need you to understand that I wait for you every day. You will always be special to me, Abby. You were my first love, but not my greatest love. I met someone who is going to stay, who will always fight to come back to me. I hadn't wanted to admit it at the time, but from the moment I met Eddie, I realized that I was over you. That I didn't love you as much as I thought I did.”
Abby couldn't deny that it didn't hurt.
“I'm glad that you have Sam, and I hope that you have a great life with him. I really do. But I can't be friends with you, Abby. I have learned that people who have hurt me aren't people that I need in my life." Climbing to his feet, Buck offered her one last smile, "Good luck, Abby, and I am glad that you are happy."
As she watched him go, Abby watched as Buck stopped and shook his head before heading towards where his partner Eddie was waiting, and the way that Buck fell into Eddie's embrace and the kiss they shared, Buck had finally found someone who loves him just as he deserves to be loved, "I am glad that you got your happy ending Buck." Climbing to her feet, Abby knew that Buck had firmly moved on from her. She just wishes that she had gotten a chance to apologize to Buck, but she hadn't earned that right yet, maybe she would someday.