Work Text:
They walked out into the night together, past the point where pavement met dried grass, far enough away that the glow from the streetlights in Overdrop's parking lot barely touched them. The feeling of Spencer's hand in his still made Shayne smile to the point where his cheeks were hurting, despite it becoming a normal occurrence over the last month or so.
And here they were, standing in the dim light, in the quiet, Spencer's cigarette a glowing ember in the dark. So much had changed between them, but some things remained exactly the same, and Shayne wouldn't have it any other way.
In these moments, it felt so easy, yet so difficult, to say what he wanted to. Shayne hadn't been brave enough to say anything like it again since the moment Spencer literally stole the words out of his mouth.
Because I'm in love—
Spencer had stopped that sentence in its tracks with a kiss, and Shayne had been too nervous to continue that conversation ever since. Not that things weren't great between them, but the words had become an itch in the back of Shayne's mind.
IloveyouSpencerIloveyouSpencerIloveyouSpencer—
"Remember the first time we came out here?"
Spencer laughed, low and soft. "Pretty sure I'm gonna remember that night for a long time."
"It was kind of magical, honestly," Shayne said, staring up at the starry sky.
"Magical? That's your word of choice?" Spencer laughed again, louder this time.
Shayne shrugged. "I don't know, man. Just felt like a lot changed all at once."
A cloud of smoke floated out in front of Spencer. He squeezed Shayne's hand. "I asked you about Court that night too. How are they, by the way?"
"They're good. They've been working with Ian to get some new acts to play at Smosh Pit. Oh, and they started dating someone. I think her name's…Arasha?"
Spencer hummed in response. "That's a pretty name. Also, good for them on…all of that."
Neither of them spoke for a few beats as Spencer finished his cigarette. He took a deep breath, like he was summoning the courage for what he was about to say.
"Back then, I asked you about Court because…I wanted to know if I had any chance at all. I remember when I first saw you two together—you looked perfect for each other."
Shayne squeezed Spencer's hand in return and tugged on his arm a bit so he would look at him. "It was never like that between us—we've always just been friends. Besides…I had my eye on somebody else at the time."
Even in the near darkness, it was easy to see Spencer's grin. "Yeah?"
Shayne nodded. "I think I already knew back then—or at the very least, that being around you made me really happy."
Spencer's grin faded, the look on his face shifting to the one he always seemed to have when he was deciding whether to be vulnerable or to run.
”Yeah?" His voice was softer, shakier.
Shayne felt something in his chest tighten, and he couldn't wait any longer.
"Spence, I—"
But still, the thought wouldn't finish itself. The words were being held back by a small voice inside Shayne's head that asked him what if he runs away what if it's too much what if—
Spencer let go of his hand and wrapped his arms around Shayne's waist, pulling him close until there was no space between them at all. Shayne quickly returned the favor and put his arms around Spencer as well.
"Whatever you want to say, say it," Spencer whispered.
Looking at him then, at this beautiful, incredible, clueless boy in his arms, Shayne knew that there was no other truth than this one.
"I love you, Spencer."
Shayne watched Spencer's face again, saw his teeth bite into his bottom lip, his eyes blinking but slowly becoming shiny and wet. But he wasn't saying anything.
Shayne tried to push down the disappointment as best he could. He was right. It had been too soon.
"I'm sorry. It's okay if you can't, or don't want to—"
"No no no!” Spencer blurted out. "No, I…I…"
He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Shayne rubbed his back a little bit, hoping it might help ground him in the moment.
Spencer opened his eyes and looked right at Shayne.
"I love you too, Shayne."
Shayne nearly choked on a sob, but tried to keep his cool. Before he could speak, Spencer kept going.
"Sometimes it just feels like I'm dreaming, like it's still the tour and I'm asleep in the back of the van with you next to me, and eventually I'm gonna wake up and none of this will have been real—"
Shayne stopped his train of thought with a kiss, both of his hands reaching up and getting tangled in Spencer's curls. Spencer's arms were pulled tight around him, as if trying to bring them closer together than they already were. Shayne pulled back but Spencer wouldn't let him, stealing a few more kisses before giving in.
Shayne sighed, resting his forehead against Spencer's. "Spence, even if this was a dream—even if you woke up and it was still the tour and we were still in the van, it wouldn't matter. I'd still be in love with you. That wouldn't change."
"I mean…same, though." Spencer chuckled.
Shayne smiled. "C'mon. It's late. We should probably go."
Spencer took his hand again as they started to walk back toward Overdrop, both of them looking towards the stars before making their way home.