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Jinu walked around the palace a lot in the later days. When he wasn’t performing he wanted to be alone with his shame. He found all the secret places on his regular walks through the quietest, emptiest parts of the palace. The hollow sounds of his feet on the wood hallways were comforting. On this particular night the royal family had some guests in town who had brought their own court musicians, so he was able to abscond for the better part of the evening. Longer than usual. A rare treat. The warm breeze blowing through the many buildings helped elevate the largely deserted parts of the palace from unsettling to a kind of coziness. Summer breezes always came with the hope of some prolonged warmth to come.
Carrying the weight of a secret, and the absence of his family had been weighing on him. He missed them, but more than that, their welfare plagued his mind. Thoughts of the demon world plagued him as well. His patterns were getting more and more difficult to hide. He did his best to isolate himself. Pushing down the memories was hard enough. Keeping the patterns invisible left him exhausted. At least his last days in the human world would be spent in luxury - if he could relax long enough to enjoy them.
After wandering for a while he found himself in front of a door, open just a crack. He stood staring at it for a moment, his head cocked to the side. He thought by now he’d seen every room, every corridor, he’d even happened upon the royal family’s chambers once, by accident. This one though, as far from the main hall as one could get, was unfamiliar.
The waning moon in the sky shone into the room, allowing a sliver of light through the open door, an eerie light, tinged with purple. He was transfixed for a moment by the dust dancing in the moonbeam. He was snapped out of it by a shadow momentarily blocking the light. He stepped back, looking around. Too big for a bird, too quiet for a person, plus, this end of the palace was dark, deserted. Who would be here, alone? He had to know.
He leaned forward, peering into the room. Empty, at a quick glance.
He pushed open the door, stepping inside. It was a bedroom, more like an apartment. There was a small table next to the door, some few clean dishes stacked neatly to the side. A small but beautifully intricate wood stove in the corner with an equally detailed castiron kettle resting atop it. Opposite the door sat a low desk. Papers covering the whole of it, parchments and books. Several pottles of ink, some nearly empty, some unopened, and brushes. The wall behind the desk littered with still more scraps of paper, tacked up haphazardly. All covered in the same hand, sections crossed out and rewritten, a few faded to the point of being difficult to read.
Turning to inspect the shelves around the desk he was confronted by some eyes nearly glowing back at him in the darkness.
Jinu squealed, and jumped.
“Who goes there?”
“You entered my chambers.”
The mysterious figure looked exhausted, avoiding looking Jinu in the eye after the initial fright. He was tall, lithe, with long delicate fingers poking out the sleeves of his exquisite hanbok. Long hair, tied back in a loose braid down his back. It seemed almost blue in the moonlight. He crossed in front of Jinu to sit at the desk.
“I’m Jinu- a musician of the royal court.” He moved so he was standing somewhat awkwardly in the doorway.
“You don’t play any drums, perchance?”
The young man turned his head, barely looking at Jinu from the corner of his eye. Jinu was surprised at the shade of his eyes, a deep ocean blue. Unlike anything he’d seen before. “Um, no, sir.”
“Good,” the man said. He sounded relieved, “There’s one drummer of the court to whom counting must be a foreign concept. He…disrupts the rhythm.”
Jinu shared the man's scathing but accurate assessment. “Indeed, a trial to accompany- who are you?”
“I’m the prince,” he replied simply, if not sarcastically. Jinu’s face betrayed his bewilderment.
“I’ve seen Prince Sang-il many times…”
“Sang-il,” he chuckled dryly. He stretched out his neck, rubbing at it gently. “No. I’m Seung-hyun.”
Jinu looked him up and down. He took a few moments to evaluate the information. He’d heard that name before.
“He…You…passed from this world as an infant,” Jinu said, doubting his words as he said them. The prince’s shoulders seemed to slouch a little.
“And yet here I sit before you.”
He did look like the royals. His features in the moonlight were actually quite striking. The same high cheekbones, the same eyes, he even carried himself with the same countenance when he addressed himself. The affect of his voice was regal.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was attempting to write before you stumbled in unannounced and uninvited. Are you not partaking of the evening’s festivities?” His gaze lingered out the little window. The sounds of the feasting and music were distant. It was difficult to hear, but he assumed that on a windless night it would be easier.
“My services weren’t required. The visiting dignitaries brought their own musicians.”
“Ah, so you are the one who plays the bipa all around the palace.”
“How- do you live here?”
“I don’t have much occasion to leave, nor permissions for that matter.”
It was at this point that Jinu really took a moment to internalise what he’d just borne witness to. The prince, told by the family to have perished, standing in front of him. The palace around him, abandoned. Peculiar.
“Would you like me to play you something?”
For the first time Jinu felt the older prince’s eyes on him. “Truly?”
“Certainly. I’ll go retrieve my bipa.”
A few minutes later Jinu returned, bipa in hand.
“Anything specific you wish to hear, Agissi?”
The prince shook his head. Jinu shrugged, and started strumming absentmindedly. He played a few songs, singing softly. The prince was seated comfortably on his bed, back against the wall, eyes closed, listening contentedly.
“You’re really- you're quite good. Few of the court musicians have your talent.”
“Thank you, Agissi,” Jinu replied. His eyes wandered around the room at the many bits of parchments tacked up on the walls. Despite how many there were, each one was entirely visible, meticulously placed. What had this hidden prince been writing of so extensively. “May I ask you a question?”
Seung-hyun shifted. “Go on.”
“What are all these bits of parchment?”
He scoffed, adjusting his hanbok to lay flatter, looking away from Jinu and up at the walls. “I’ve never purported to be among the greatest poets of our generation, but surely my poetry isn’t so lacking that it’s unrecognisable as such.”
Jinu felt a little sheepish. He held his bipa closer, draping an arm cautiously around it. “My apologies. I merely meant to understand, not upset.”
“Is your vision poorly?”
“No- why do you ask?” Seung-hyun gestured around the room, a look of incredulity on his soft features. “Oh- I was not raised with the luxury of education.”
He leaned forward on the bed, as if trying to see if Jinu were being truthful. “You mean to say you haven't received instruction in literacy of any kind?”
Jinu meekly nodded.
“I find that unacceptable. Even in my involuntary seclusion I was given the advantage of tutors.” Jinu plucked at his bipa, somewhat slouched over it. Seung-hyun watched intensely as his fingers picked over the strings. He played softly, more fiddling with different notes than playing a particular tune. Experimenting with which lines might sound god together, a small shield against his embarrassment. “I shall instruct you, Jinu.”
Jinu's attention snapped up to the prince in alarm. He must have looked startled because the prince continued to explain.
“I revel in what little music the wind deigns to allow through my windows. I propose an exchange of skills. If you would be so kind as to continue playing, and singing for me on a semi-regular basis, I would reciprocate by offering you instruction.”
Jinu couldn't help but let a surprised sound escape his lips. He never thought, even in his position, that anyone would deem him worthy of instruction like this. If a musician had good hearing, what did he need with reading, but it would certainly give him an edge, if not some confidence in his capacity outside music. “I would be honoured, Agissi.”
“Please, I’m hardly anyone’s prince. You may address me as Seung-hyun, so long as I may address you as Jinu.”
“That would suit me just fine, A- Seung-hyun.”
Seung-hyun relaxed against the wall. “You- you mustn’t tell anyone of this though. I fear…it may compromise both your safety, and mine.”
Jinu nodded. “I understand.”
“I would be happy to commence instruction after one or two more pieces if you’re amenable.”
Jinu said nothing, but played, and sang. He played the rest of the night, instruction all but forgotten.
Spring turned to summer. Jinu’s reading had improved, and so had Seung-hyun’s mood. They had been able to meet at least two or three evenings per week, when Jinu’s court duties wouldn’t be affected. He’d been surprised with how patient the prince had been, both with his instructions, and Jinu’s inability to choose a regular set list. He’d often bring new pieces and use the evenings as something of an additional rehearsal time, which suited him fine. Unhindered by the less studious musicians he’d been able to improve dramatically.
“I fear the clouds may be rolling in, my friend!” Seung-hyun called to Jinu as he approached. He stood leaning in the doorway, waiting for Jinu’s arrival. “Perhaps we begin with reading, and save bipa until the clouds block the starlight.”
“As you wish,” Jinu replied contentedly.
“May I just say, I’m ever so grateful you stumbled into my room that night. Your music, your visits, they distract from the monotony of this…room.”
“I’m quite partial to this room, Seung-hyun. I feel more comfortable in this one than any other within the palace or without.” He entered the room, Seung-hyun barely adjusting out of his path.
“You may not feel thus once you’ve seen the tales I have prepared for you to read this evening.” Seung-hyun winced a little as he stood upright. His movements stilted.
“I always find your selections interesting, Agissi.”
Seung-hyun blushed a little. Jinu put down his bipa. The room looked different. Most of the poetry on the walls removed, leaving little bits of parchment attached to pins. There a few books missing, and an inkwell spilled.
“Th- thank you, dear Jinu. Back to the prince nonsense, are we?”
“You are as worthy of my respect as anyone else here.” Seung-hyun allowed himself a small smile.
“Flattery will get you nowhere- oh!” Seung-hyun lost his balance. Jinu managed to catch him before he hit the floor. He groaned as Jinu touched him.
“Are you not well, Agissi?” Jinu guided him gently to the bed, helping him adjust some pillows, and blankets so he was comfortable. Seung-hyun accepted the help, but his face betrayed discomfort, or possibly embarrassment. He tried to shoo Jinu away, but he wouldn't until his friend was settled.
“I’m well enough. Just a little gift from my ever-affectionate brother.”
“I don’t take your meaning.”
Seung-hyun sighed. “On occasion my brother and his mates invite themselves into my room, and… beat me bloody for their amusement.”
Jinu sat speechless. “That’s- that’s-” He shook his head, turning away from Seung-hyun. “I’ve taken my share of beatings. Tea helps. Let me make you some.”
“No no no!” Seung-hyun protested, grabbing the hem of Jinu’s hanbok as he stood, “you’re hardly a servant.”
“A friend,” Jinu said, turning to smile at Seung-hyun. “Please, Agissi, it’s my pleasure.”
Jinu fussed with the fire and the kettle as the prince looked on. A quiet, chilly evening. A cup of tea would be just the thing.
“I know it may be a bit late, seeing as you’ve arrived, but perhaps we ought to postpone our engagement this evening.”
“Nonsense,” Jinu said, “I shall just play for you.”
“Hardly an equitable exchange,” Seung-hyun replied, adjusting himself to try to get comfortable.
“I care more for you than equity. I love a captive audience, besides, and no one is more responsive to my music than you, Agissi, or more critical.” He blushed a little, looking briefly at Seung-hyun.
Seung-hyun laughed, despite his bruised ribs. “I thought you found my insights… helpful.”
Jinu turned back to him, cup in hand, “I find them invaluable.”
He offered the prince the cup. “Tea. Ought to warm you right up, Agissi.”
Seung-hyun hesitated, but took the cup. “Thank you, sweet Jinu.”
Jinu smiled.
He stayed. He played and sang for him until the prince fell asleep.
A few weeks later a storm ripped through the sky. Thunder cracked, the rain beat down upon every roof of the palace. The family were away visiting, so Jinu had been able to spend every night with Seung-hyun. They had no occasion to meet in the rain, relying on starlight to make the reading as easy as possible, but tonight Jinu was determined. He’d written a new song, something that he was proud of. Most of his new songs the prince had helped him write- he had a great composition sense, but Jinu wanted to write something for him, as a thank you, so, bipa carefully wrapped in a blanket, he rushed through the sodden paths to his prince’s door.
When he arrived he knocked quietly, calling out to Seung-hyun. He opened the door, somewhat dischevelled.
“Jinu?” his brows knitted together, his lips slightly parted, his cheeks flushed, his hair cascaded down in perfect waves around his shoulders down to his waist. His normally composed hanbok was nowhere to be found. His shirt loose, chest exposed. A crack of lightning briefly illuminated his face, and Jinu noticed for the first time that the prince’s eyes had flecks of gold. To Jinu’s mind, no one had ever looked so striking.
“Nae wangjanim…” Jinu whispered. His feet locked in place, his eyes desperately committing every last feature to memory. Seung-hyun’s face melted to awe at Jinu’s words.
“Your…what?”
After a moment he snapped back into his body, pulling his shirt closed. “Come in, bapo, you’ll catch your death out there.” Seung-hyun guided him gently into the small apartment, a hand on his back. Jinu could feel the warmth of him through his many layers of fabric.
“Whatever could persuade you out of your warm bed in this storm, Jinu?” he asked, retrieving a blanket to wrap around Jinu’s shivering shoulders.
“You, Agissi. I mean, your song. The- I wrote for you…one.”
Breath left Seung-hyun. Jinu looked at him, transfixed. “For me?”
“As a thank you, to show my appreciation for your…lips- I mean time! And patience. With me.” He quickly wiped his hands on his blanket, not wanting his bipa to get wet. Seung-hyun sat on the floor opposite him, instead of his usual seat on the bed. The proximity was almost dizzying. He avoided the prince’s eyes, worried it may make him forget the notes. He took a deep breath and started to play.
A few notes in he was relieved to discover that he did remember, he crescendoed where he’d intended, and was grateful he’d taken the extra few days to work on his phrasing. Near the end of the piece he risked a look at Seung-hyun. He looked positively elated. Jinu smiled at him as he finished.
“That- that was beautiful, Jinu,” Seung-hyun said, putting a hand on Jinu’s knee. Jinu felt his heart flutter at the contact. The music usually made Seung-hyun calm, maybe even content, but it had never made Seung-hyun reach out and touch him before. They looked at each other for a long moment before Seung-hyun quickly pulled away.
“Sorry! Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Jinu said, an uncharacteristic sweetness to his voice. “I’m glad you like the song. I’m sorry it doesn’t have lyrics yet.”
Seung-hyun’s eyes lit up, and he briefly touched Jinu’s knee again as he got up from the floor. He looked around the room inspecting several bits of paper, moving one to the next. Eventually he tore one from the wall. He sat next to Jinu and handed the paper to him.
“This might work,” he offered. Jinu stole a glance at Seung-hyun before taking the poem from him.
“What’s this?”
“Something I wrote ages ago. I always imagined it as a song, but I could never….Well, until now.”
Jinu looked at the paper, reading what he could and pointing out the words he didn’t recognize, Seung-hyun gently prompting him. He made his way through it slowly, and when he got to the end he read it again all the way through.
“You’re perf- it’s perfect, Agissi. Are you sure I can use this? You aren’t saving it for anything?”
“I would be honoured if you’d use it. It may be the only way anyone hears my work.”
Jinu could feel his heartbeat in his ears. His hands began to shake a little. He placed the poem carefully on the dry blanket.
“Maybe…I could write…two vocal parts.” Jinu whispered. His face flushed. It was as if he had no control over his words tonight. He also didn’t want to disrupt his little slice of heaven with his corrupted patterns. Seung-hyun was his sweet peace. No place for messiness, or a lack of control.
“A duet? Music is your gift, not mine.”
“I’ve heard you. You think I’m not listening, but you hum or sing along. I think we would suit each other very well.”
He looked at Jinu, his cheeks flushed. He could’ve sworn Seung-hyun’s eyes stole a quick glance at his lips. Jinu determined the darkness was playing tricks on him. “I…didn’t think anyone noticed…”
“It would be my honour to sing with you, Agissi.”
Jinu followed his eye as Seung-hyun looked around the room. He seemed distant. His body in the room, his mind elsewhere. Jinu looked around and then back at Seung-hyun, puzzled.
“Agissi?” he muttered.
“Nothing, just looking at all these things the world will never see.”
Jinu put down his bipa, reaching for Seung-hyun’s hand. Seung-hyun definitely looked at his lips that time… He inched closer, Jinu felt his breath catch in his throat.
“You’re the only one who sees me, Jinu." His eyes were sad, but they glistened. Jinu was appalled that the royal family would keep such a beautiful creature locked away, and spoiled that he was one of the few who could behold him. The only one to touch him.
“Their failing, wangjanim.”
Before Jinu could have the good sense to hesitate he closed the distance between them. Jinu had never heard a melody sweeter than the small gasp his prince made when their lips finally met. Seung-hyun’s lips were so warm, so soft. They parted, his tongue nudging hesitantly into Jinu’s mouth. It felt like heaven. A small moan escaped the prince’s lips, and Jinu thought he might collapse from bliss. He reached up, cupping his cheek gently, trying to taste as much as he could. Finally, Seung-hyun pulled away. Both were breathless.
“Sweet Jinu,” Seung-hyun whispered to him, “my starlight in the darkness.”
“My handsome prince…”
Not many days later Jinu lay on Seung-hyun’s bed, eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Seung-hyun’s kisses on his neck. He was reclined, shirtless, revelling in the sweet feeling.
“We gotta stop doing this- mm.”
“I thought I was your prince, nae byeolbit. Shouldn’t a prince do what he wishes?” he kissed a little further down his chest, tracing his fingers over him. “I wish nothing more than to spend our nights playing music together, and kissing you until you fall asleep.”
“I can’t- I can’t sleep in your bed, nae sarang.”
Seung-hyun paused, a breath to steady himself. He sat back onto his heels, adjusting his clothes.
“Can I not dream? Would you not permit me even that small indulgence?”
“No no! I didn’t mean-,” Jinu said, propping himself up on one elbow. “Nae wangjanim, I don’t mean to upset you. These nights with you are my escape. Your kisses are a treasure. Please.”
Seung-hyun looked back up at him, his brow furrowed.
“You tell me only things you think I long to hear.”
“No, nae sarang, please,” Jinu said, reaching for him.
He looked back, dubiously, but allowed himself to be guided back to Jinu’s side.
“Why do you return to me every night, my sweet Jinu?”
“I return to make music, to feel your soft lips on mine, to see your face in the moonlight.” Jinu touched his face gently, “and I like to think that you enjoy my company.”
“You truly feel your time with me to be an escape?”
“My time with you is bliss, naui cheonguk.” He kissed his lost prince tenderly. “Please, permit me stay with you.”
Seung-hyun kissed him back, “Of course, byeolbit, I would allow you anything.”
Something about the phrase ignited a fire in Jinu.
“Anything, nae wangjanim?” Jinu placed his other hand on the prince’s other cheek, pulling him in, kissing him desperately. He moaned against Seung-hyun’s mouth.
“Anything.”
Jinu kissed across his cheek to his neck, pulling down Seung-hyun’s collar. “Oh, Jinu…”
“Permit me this, my prince,” Seung-hyun gasped, and Jinu moaned against his neck. His prince’s soft skin fanning the flicker of heat in him. “I want to touch you, to make you feel what I feel when I’m in your treasured presence.”
“You feel so sweet, nae sarang,” Seung-hyun’s head tilted back, his eyes closed, revelling in the sensation. Jinu’s hands trailed down his body to the ties on his prince’s jacket, slipping it over his shoulders.
“I want to feel you,” he snaked his arms around him, coaxing him closer, kissing him, his tongue insistent. Seung-hyun shifted into his lap and draped his arms around Jinu’s shoulders, his body relaxed. Jinu felt both relieved and ravenous. He wanted to be the one to make his beautiful prince feel good. He unfastened his shirt, and tossed it gently to the end of the bed. Seung-hyun’s hand rested gently on Jinu’s, their chests both heaving.
“Are- are you sure, nae byeolbit?” his voice breathless. “Suppose your imagination surpasses reality.”
“No imagining could hold a candle to you, naui cheonguk.” Jinu replied, tangling his fingers in Seung-hyun’s hair. He pulled it slightly, eliciting a moan such as he’d never heard from the prince. It was straight to Jinu’s cock. God, he wanted Seung-hyun so badly. His perfect escape from his shame, his prince. He was desperate to know how beautiful he would look as Jinu brought him to the edge of pleasure. He could hardly decide whether it would be his mouth or his cock that would drive Seung-hyun to ecstasy, but he wouldn’t be able to do either until his shirts were off.
Jinu fumbled with the tie on the prince’s thin shirt, gently pulling it down, exposing one shoulder to the cool evening air. He was rendered breathless by Seung-hyun’s beautiful form. Seung-hyun avoided his eyes.
“I’m sorry-”
Jinu pulled Seung-hyun as close as possible, the heat of his skin was a relief, and a tease. He pulled at his prince’s hair, kissing at his neck. Seung-hyun began rolling his hips into Jinu, causing a string of blissful moans to spill tantalizingly from the prince’s mouth. Jinu had never craved another person, a release, so much. His prince was begging for him in all but his words, and Jinu was happy to provide. His kisses made their way to Seung-hyun’s bare shoulder, sucking gently. He could feel his patterns creeping at the edges of his consciousness, and he used what little remained of his faculties to force them down, not wanting anything to colour the sweet desire permeating the room.
Seung-hyun’s hands found their way to removing Jinu’s shirt as well, sliding it down over his shoulders, pooling around his waist. He guided Jinu’s lips as close to his neck as he could, Jinu nipped at the soft skin.
“Oh, nae sarang.” His back arched, their chests warm against each other. Jinu’s hands snaked their way around Seung-hyun’s back, fingers gripping him, urging his hips into a more insistent rhythm.
“Naui cheonguk, nae wangjanim,” Jinu whispered against his skin. His lips met Seung-hyun’s again, and he tasted him languidly, the heat in his chest made it ache. He needed his mouth on his sweet prince. Tasting his lips alone suddenly wasn’t not enough.
Lips still clashing with Seung-hyun’s he coaxed him easily from his lap, pulling away the layers of cloth pooled around his waist. He began to kiss down his neck, and down his chest.
“Jinu- wait.” Seung-hyun’s voice suddenly thin from nerves.
“I want to make you feel good. Let me, nae sarang,”
Seung-hyun shifted under him, pulling his hands away. “Please, Jinu, just- I need a moment- I have to tell-”
Jinu sighed, finally pulling his lips away to look at him when-
Suddenly, Jinu yelped, he pulled away, leaning so far back he was nearly horizontal. His breathing was rapid, and a look of terror on his face. He stared at the prince’s exposed skin. The prince quickly pulled his shirt back up to cover himself, but it was too late.
Patterns.
Corruption.
“You’re- you’re a-”
“Jinu, nae sarang-” Seung-hyun started, shuffling off his lap, scurrying backward. Jinu wasn’t paying him any mind, his eyes were clouded with angry tears.
“Demon! You’re a demon too! How could- how could you do this to me?”
“Please, just let me explain-”
“You’re corrupted! Disgusting!”
Seung-hyun’s eyes were watering now, flinching at each word from Jinu’s mouth. He pressed himself back into the wall, pulling at his shirts, trying to cover as much of himself as possible.
“Jinu, please!-” he whimpered.
“Selfish! Hiding in the dark is all you deserve!”
“No, byeolbit...please…”
“You were supposed to be better!” he cried, “Abomination!”
Suddenly, Seung-hyun’s body shuddered, snapping Jinu out of his tirade. The prince’s patterns began to glow a blinding purple, like his skin was on fire. Terror-striken, Seung-hyun reached for Jinu. His hands colouring to dark blue, his patterns a stark, lightning crack of white against the darkness.
“Jinu! Jin-”
Terrified, Jinu reached back, but with a gasp, Seung-hyun was ripped away, vanishing into a wisp of pink smoke, his voice echoing Jinu’s name.
Jinu was alone again, a small ember of purple flame flickering on the bed where Seung-hyun had been just moments before.