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AniX walked slowly across the bloodied battlefield. There were corpses everywhere, broken supply wagons, and worst of all: the flag of MafiaScum's army has fallen to the ground, its bearer's severed arm still holding onto its pole.
AniX ignored the corpses. They were looking for someone very specific. He *had* to be alive, AniX knew. MafiaScum could not survive without him. Then, AniX saw one of the bodies move slightly. "Bork!" AniX cried out softly, hurrying over to the fallen tech admin. "Are you alright?"
Bork opened his eyes. There was pain in them, and yet he managed a brave smile. "I'm still alive, AniX. But the damned tigers have gotten my leg. I don't think I can fight any longer."
AniX looked at him, mortified. "You can't leave us, Bork! Mafiascum needs you. If you don't fight the tigers the next time they come, we'll be defenseless. The site will die!"
"I'm not leaving, AniX. But I'm not as young as I used to be. Not as healthy. I simply cannot fight the tigers anymore. Mafiascum needs a new brave warrior to take my place on the front lines. You will have to find me an apprentice. An heir to the title of Technical Admin. And I will teach them what I know. How to keep the site running. How to hold off the tigers."
Anix nodded in understanding. They will commence the search at once.
It was the third week of the search. Lord AniX had sent emissaries far and wide to announce the need for a new hero, and gather any possible intel.
One of these emissaries, a young man named Kell, had found himself deep in a forest, in a godforsaken region of Mafiascum. He trudged through the mud, clearing away branches from his path with a machete, and cursed under his breath. He didn't understand why AniX needed him to interview every single resident of this sparsely populated region. Kell seriously considered turning back, when suddenly there were no more trees in front of him and he found himself in a clearing.
There was a small hut in the middle of the clearing, with smoke coming out of its chimney. Kell approached and knocked on the door.
Kell heard the sound of steps from inside, and the door opened. In front of him stood a man-sized duck. "Come in," said the duck, its beak curving in a humanlike smile.
Kell came inside, and the duck offered him tea, which he took. "Thank you," he said. "My name is Kell. I bear news from Lord AniX. Bork was injured in a tiger attack. Mafiascum is in grave danger. The Red Crown seeks a new Technical Admin to serve the realm in his place. Are you aware of anyone who might be up to the task?"
"A new technical admin…" repeated the huge duck. "I might know someone. In my homeland of Australia, far, far away from here, there lives a young boy with great skill and courage. He will make a great Technical Admin – if you manage to get there and find him. Tell him that Worst sent you."
Kell's eyes widened with awe. "Worst…? I thought you were only a legend."
The duck's eyes sparkled mischievously. "I prefer to be thought of that way. Now, let me tell you how to get to Australia. The journey is going to be dangerous…"
The tigers had attacked again in the night. The battle had been short and brutal, and the casualties were many. Black stood in the great hall of her mansion, looking sadly at the empty house. The hallways, once bustling with conversation, stood silent and dead.
Black thought back to last night. She and her friends were engaged in a lively conversation, talking about Christmas and gifts, when the PCS's alarm bells suddenly rang out. Those were very specific alarm bells, that were intended to ring only when a horde of exactly 500 tigers came to attack. Dannflor had fallen first, then C-Worl, and Datisi. Ythan had been one of the last to fall, but she too had been slain. And all Black had been able to do was to stand and watch the sight of her friends dying one by one.
"500 tigers are ruining my life," she murmured under her breath, her sight refocusing on the empty mansion. For a split second, she thought she had seen a movement out of the corner of her eye. But no, she must've been imagining.
Then she heard a sound, and this time she was sure it was real. Someone was knocking on the door.
Black approached the door and opened it. On the other side stood a young man, with long dark hair and wild-looking eyes. He held a huge sword in one hand, and was wearing a black t-shirt, both of which made him look a little like an anime protagonist.
"Is this the 'PCS'?" asked the man.
"Yes," Black answered. "And who might you be?"
"Name's Jackson. Jackson Virgo. I'm here to take care of your little tiger problem."
"You're late, then."
Jackson Virgo ignored her and stepped inside the mansion. "What a nice, cozy place you've got. It's a shame there are so many tigers here."
"Tigers?" Black repeated in confusion. "They left last night!"
"Oh no they didn't!" Jackson exclaimed, and threw his sword. The blave curved mid-flight, changing shape to a boomerang, and the sword careended off the walls of the hall, passing in the various corners of the room. In each corner, a body striped in black and orange appeared when hit by the sword, and fell to the floor.
Black looked at the tiger corpses in awe. Suddenly, the bodies began to stir. Hands and feet appeared in the tigers' mouthes, and in short order Black's friends re-appeared, alive and well.
"Honk!" exclaimed one of them suddenly. The others nodded and replied with their own "honk!"s.
"Oh great," murmured Black. "They've lost their mind."
Jackson ignored her, and stepped into the middle of the room, just where his boomerang-shaped sword had clattered onto the floor. He closed his eyes, and spread his arms outwardly. "Everyone, please grab on to something stable like walls or furniture!" he exclaimed. Black caught the back of her favorite couch just as the mansion began to shake wildly. Red light shined from Jackson's eyes, and a red halo circled his hair, which was floating in the air. Black could hear C-Worl puking somewhere.
Then, the mansion gave a jolt, and started flying upwards at breakneck speed. Everyone in the room except Jackson was thrown onto the floor. They smashed through the roof and shot through a layer of clouds. Then, as quickly as it had started, their ascent stopped.
Black climbed back to her feet, and caught Dannflor's eyes. They were floating in the sky, surrounded by clouds. It was AWESOME.
"There," said Jackson Virgo. "I've moved us to Cloudflare. We should be safe from tigers now."
AniX sighed in contentment. A month had passed since Mafaiscum moved to the clouds, and all has been going well. Bork, true to his word, has taught the young Jackson Virgo everything he had known. The transfer of power was complete, and for the first time in a long while, no one was getting banned for stupid reasons. And unless T-Bone's statistics were mistaken, there was even a slight uptick in newbie retention numbers. In short, life was good, and AniX was finally free to enjoy "slime tutorial" renditions of their favorite musicals.
AniX watched earnestly as the green, slimy version of Hamilton sang about his ambitions. Then as some slimy bad guys were bad. It was at that point where AniX turned off the video, disappointed. They'd have expected to see some sort of tutorial, but this was just a bunch of slimes singing in tights.
AniX's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come in," AniX said.
Jackson Virgo stood at the doorway. He looked a lot more haggard than when he first showed up in AniX's red palace a month ago. His face was sweaty, his hair matted, and a shaggy beard was growing on his chin. Bits of cloud and cement were stuck to his shirt.
"Lord AniX," Jackson started, bowing humbly, "the stairs are working pretty well. They seem to be appearing instantly for most users, and only taking a bit longer for those with Firefox. I have been working on them for 16 hours a day for a few weeks now, could I please have this weekend off?"
AniX glowered at Jackson. "Absolutely not! Some users are still complaining about having to wait 10 seconds for the stairs to appear! You will not get any break until every user has instant access to Mafiascum. Eight hours of rest a day is already too generous."
"But if I turn off the delay mechanisms for everyone, that means they will be off for the tigers as well! The tigers will be able to – "
"I don't want to hear it!" said AniX. "Everyone needs instant access to Mafiascum, or I'm cutting your wages in half."
And that's how the 500 tigers were allowed to return to mafiascum! The end!