Chapter Text
It had been six months since Élise’s death and Arno was still a mess. His days were spent in the studio, drinking the pain away until he couldn’t feel a thing, usually waking up hours later and going about his daily routine of either crying or drinking, it was a never-ending cycle. The people who loved for him had tried everything to get him out, it was good to mourn her death, she was the love of his life after all, but this was too much and would end up destroying him.
Arno wouldn’t let anyone see him.
Of course, anyone beside (Y/N).
They met after Élise was sent to the Maison Royale de Saint-Louis and quickly became inseparable, until the fact that she was just a peasant girl and had to work almost every hour of the day eventually drove them apart. However, the universe seemed to want them together, they ran into – literally ran into – each other years later in the streets of Paris.
“Arno Dorian?” She asked while they bent down to pick the goods she carried off of the ground.
“(Y/N)? Oh my God, it’s you!”
(Y/N) jumped into his arms, a smile unfolding in her lips with the realization she’d just reunited with her dearest friend. Sure he was different, more handsome and certainly much taller, he looked more mysterious but she could see how his face lighted up when he saw her. After that they kept meeting at the Café Théâtre and without both realizing, they were already involved in each other’s lives. She was always there when he needed and even now, in such a dark stage of his life, stayed by his side day and night.
(Y/N) went home after three days of caring for Arno, only to take a quick bath and grab something for them to eat, she was now returning when there was a loud bang in his room. Running up the stairs two at a time she flew the door open to see a nearly passed out Arno sobbing on the floor, a bottle of wine in his hand. (Y/N) dropped everything she carried on the floor and tried to get him up.
“Is that you, mon amour?” He asked, his voice hopeful.
Sometimes when he was too drunk he’d see his beloved Élise instead of her, and she always ended up agreeing with his hallucinations as it was the only way for him to sleep calmly for a few hours.
“Yes, love, it’s me” She answered, her voice breaking, full of sorrow for both their pain.
After managing to carry him to the bed, she covered him with a blanket and took the empty bottle away.
“I’ve missed you…” He whispered before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
(Y/N) let go a desolated sigh and left him to rest, picking up the goods at the room’s entrance. She had feelings for him since they were children, and although she would never admit it out loud, what hurt her more was to see him suffer like this for another woman.
Hours later Arno woke up.
The sun was now setting leaving the sky with shades of orange and light pink, the buildings around obscuring the sight. Arno set up and sighed, burying his face in his hands, another day wasted doing nothing, but he didn’t care, at least that’s what he tried to tell himself.
She was dead.
His family was dead.
What would he care about now?
Uncovering his eyes he looked about his room, everything was surprisingly clean and in order, steam coming out of the bathtub in front of the bed, however he didn’t recall preparing it.
Ah yes, her.
Glancing to his left he saw her asleep in the chair near him, god, she looked exhausted…
Arno set there contemplating his life, he didn’t felt worthy of (Y/N), he didn’t felt worthy of her sympathy, of her unshakeable determination to look after him. She had become a strong woman, he remembered her smile, her laugh, how she’d blush when he made a less appropriate joke, she was beautiful no doubt.
“Arno…” She murmured, eyes opening slowly.
“(Y/N), I’m sorry if I awoke you” He quickly said, fearing having disturbed her peaceful slumber.
“No, I was just resting” Smiling weakly before standing up she inquired “how are you feeling?”
“Miseráble” He chuckled humorlessly.
(Y/N) kneeled beside him taking his hands in hers “I prepared you a hot bath, you’ll feel better after” she tried to cheer him up.
And there it was again, the sensation of unworthiness that was beginning to consume him, his mind was filled with doubts, why was she here? No one had come to see him in months, no one had bothered to check if he was still alive… Then, why?
“Why do you do this?” Arno asked finally looking up at her “how can you put up with me if I only cause you trouble”
“Don’t be silly, you don’t cause me any trouble” She smiled again, yet there was something artificial about her answer, her eyes didn’t reflect the smile – fake smile – on her lips “Come on now” (Y/N) stood up, grabbing some towels on her away to the bathtub.
Arno didn’t move. He had a talent for reading people’s emotions, an exceptional praiseworthy gift very useful to an assassin like him, however, in this moment he wished it would disappear, he wanted to believe she was fine, wanted to be blind enough to not see how thin she was, to ignore the bags under her eyes and the tired smile she always gave him, but he couldn’t.
“No” he mumbled, (Y/N) turned to him, a worried look on her face “I won’t bother you anymore, you can leave”
“We’ll discuss this later, first you need to clean yourself and eat something…” She tried again, this time with a nearly inconspicuously aggressive note to her voice.
Before he could think clearly the words had already left his mouth “I don’t need you here. I don’t need you to nurse me back to health like you were my nanny, I don’t need to be lectured like a child about what I am to do or not” Arno got up and paced the room, his voice rouse “because of me you’ve become this… this thing, you think I don’t see it? You hide your exhaustion behind a fake smile and go on to your housewife routine. I hate that, I hate that it was me that did this to you, I hate you lost, what? Five, six months of your life because of me, and it was all for nothing…” By now his anger had turned into sadness and regret, for the first time in half a year Arno was sober enough to finally see how his grieving had affect others. “I don’t care what happens to me, don’t you get it? I don’t care if I live or die…”
(Y/N) felt his despair, his need to disappear, she too felt miserable. Despite his exasperated speech about the emptiness he saw in her, she didn’t said anything, mostly because it was true (Y/N) hadn’t been herself in months, but it was time to return to her obstinate self.
“I won’t leave you, I won’t let you give up” She clenched her fists with determination.
“It’s no use (Y/N), go now, I’ll be fine on my own”
At this point something inside her burst, maybe because she was too tired to choose her words carefully, maybe because she understood he was serious about his statement, if he no longer cared for his own life then she would be the one to do it.
“I won’t leave you, you stubborn idiot!” She shouted “God, Dorian, don’t you realize I do this because I care? I care for you, imbécile! You said you didn’t need me to treat you like a child, so for god’s sake, don’t act like a child! I am tired of carrying your drunken ass back to bed every day, I am tired of you mumbling her name, I am so freaking tired of all this sadness” (Y/N) voice started braking “but I put up with it all, and I will continue to”
“Why? I only want to know why”
“Because…” Tears started running down her face “because you gave some meaning to my life since we met, if it wasn’t for you I never would have left my parents’ house, by now I would be married to some idiot twice my age, by now I would have had like six kids, six little brats who would live a meaningless life like their mother” she chuckled slightly at the thought and now spoke more softly “I was just about to give up when you ran into me that day, you know? But I took our reunion as a sign to keep going. You were like a candle that illuminated the path for me. We were so happy for a time there, weren’t we? Laughing and teasing each other all the time, I began to think maybe you felt it too” she wiped the tears away with her hand, following a moment of silence she inhaled sharply, preparing herself “You want to know why I do this? I do it because I love you”
Arno watched has she walked to the door, her hand firmly grabbing the handle as she looked at him, his body paralyzed, had she said that she loved him?
“But it hurts… It hurts to love someone this much, only to see them keep hurting themselves”
Once again, Arno watched as she closed the door.