Work Text:
↬ 𝙩𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙙𝙖𝙮 26𝙩𝙝 𝙛𝙚𝙗𝙧𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙮.
A pair of headphones are sitting on his head, his chin rests in the open palm of his left hand. The computer screen before him is burning the both of his eyes, his glasses are not doing much to prevent that.
Through his headphones, his own voice plays back to him on an agonising loop. He has been hunched over his desk for what must be around an hour now, and he’s made absolutely no progress at all with his next project.
It’s a secret one, he hasn’t told a soul what it is he’s doing- well, aside from Mingi who is doing the same thing for the same sort of reason. Great minds think alike… right?
Hongjoong yawns quietly, leaning back into his chair. Night fell a long time ago, it must be close to 10pm, or maybe even 11pm, by now. The base of his back hurts a lot, and there’s a dull ache forming within his head.
Seonghwa is downstairs right now, building his latest Lego at the dining table. The pair have the house to themselves due to Wooyoung being at Fashion Week and Jongho staying with Yeosang.
The singular thought of the other man brings a smile to his lips, the expression fond. Hongjoong suddenly feels a wave of energy wash over him, followed by a new determination to get everything just right.
Pushing aside the light blur forming in the corners of his eyes, and the exhaustion steadily creeping up on him, he leans forward and gets to work once more.
He listens to his own voice again, picking apart the tone and the lyrics themselves. He knows he can do so much better, he needs to do so much better, but-
He can’t. For some reason, his brain keeps switching off and he just can’t. Determination turns quickly to frustration as he screws his eyes shut and digs the base of the palms of his hands into them.
In his headphones, the half-finished song cuts off. A deep groan leaves his body, and his eyes feel hot all of a sudden. His bed- he realises now just how badly he wants to crawl beneath its covers.
He has over a month to complete this project, and yet a tiny voice in the back of his head is telling him that actually it needs to be done asap or it won’t get finished to the highest of standards at all.
Hongjoong doesn’t know how to get the voice in his head to stop, he’s never learnt how to, but someone else does:
A quiet voice he wouldn’t have been able to hear if the song was still playing, ”Joong?”
It’s immediately comforting to him. The sound of his boyfriend’s voice fills him with relief and lessens the tension in his shoulders. He feels like he can breathe again, not entirely properly but significantly better than before.
He could cry, Seonghwa always seems to know when he needs him most. It’s a gift the two of them have. When one bad thought enters either of their minds, the other appears soon after to make it all better.
Whether in the form of a lengthy phone call, a short text message, or actual physical presence, they are always there for each other.
Hongjoong turns to him, and his own worries fade at an instant. The sight that greets him fully breaks his heart, his chest aches as he watches tears steadily make their way down Seonghwa’s face.
He slips his headphones off his head. “Hwa, what-”
But the older just sobs, his trembling hands coming up to cover his face.
Leaving his headphones on his wooden desk and his chair behind him, Hongjoong approaches the man he loves and guides him immediately into his arms. He holds Seonghwa both closely and protectively as his own mind starts to fill with endless possibilities as to what could be wrong.
Seonghwa’s tears continue to fall down his face, his cries are muffled by his hands and then Hongjoong’s neck when he chooses instead to bury his face in the left side of it. His hands curl around the fabric of the hoodie the shorter is wearing. He holds Hongjoong as if he were a lifeline.
Shushing him gently, Hongjoong’s hold on the older becomes a bit tighter. It’s incredible, how quickly he can forget about his own stress and frustration upon seeing Seonghwa so upset.
”It’ll be okay,” Hongjoong promises, blinking back his own tears, “I’m here, it’ll be okay.”
Seonghwa dampens Hongjoong’s neck with hot, salty tears, and Hongjoong does not mind one bit. He also does not mind that the top of his hoodie is now wet too. Seonghwa is melting into him, he can feel their bodies becoming one.
With his right thumb, Hongjoong caresses small and slow circles on the back of Seonghwa’s left shoulder.
“My beautiful love,” his concern sits so heavily in his heart, “can you share with me what’s happened? I- it hurts to see you so distressed.”
Seonghwa sniffles softly, and he doesn’t respond for a while. Hongjoong doesn’t push him into doing any talking, he knows that his boyfriend will inform him of what’s wrong when he’s comfortable and able to do so.
The older pulls back from the slightly younger man, only far enough to join their gazes. Hongjoong then cradles Seonghwa’s face within his hands, the look on his face full of concern. Carefully, he wipes away Seonghwa’s falling tears with his thumbs.
A teary confession, “m-my Lego won’t w-work.”
Hongjoong tilts his head to the side. He asks quietly, confused and unsure if he’s heard correctly, “your Lego?”
”It w-won’t stay where I want it to. I c-can’t build it, I’ve tr-tried so hard and I-”
Seonghwa’s shoulders are beginning to move up and down unevenly, so Hongjoong delicately interrupts him:
”Okay,” he nods, tone of voice caring, “can you show me what you mean? I’m just a bit confused, Hwa.”
An embarrassed sob, “it’s so st-stupid.”
“What is?”
”How I’m acting, it’s so st-”
”No,” Hongjoong shakes his head, “it isn’t stupid at all. You’re frustrated, it’s okay to cry.”
Seonghwa exhales shakily and nods.
”Now,” the shorter leans up in order to place a kiss against the taller’s forehead, “let’s go and figure out this Lego, okay?”
“Okay,” a small sniffle.
Hongjoong offers a sad smile, Seonghwa does not return it. His stomach twists because of it, but really he should’ve expected the lack of response.
“Lead the way?”
Seonghwa steps back, feeling Hongjoong’s hands fall from his face in the process. He picks the Captain’s right hand up with his left, and then guides him out of the room and down the stairs.
The wooden table in the dining room is the home of Lego pieces sorted carefully into colour coordinated piles. Pink petals, purple petals, and the green stem pieces are in one area while a few spare leaf pieces and other green details are on the right side of the open instructions manual.
Seonghwa’s chair is a good distance away from the table, as if it has been pushed back with both haste and little care.
”Where did you get to?”
”The first purple flower,” Seonghwa says, “I’m so c-certain I built it all correctly but-”
Hongjoong wanders towards the unfinished Lego set on the table, Seonghwa wipes his own eyes with his hands. His heart is beating uncomfortably behind his chest, his eyes are getting heavier and heavier with exhaustion.
”So-”
”I can’t get the first flower to fit anywhere,” the older explains, folding his arms over his chest, “when I go to put it where the instructions say to, th-the other pieces around it pop out of place.”
”Right-”
”How on earth am I supposed to fit two more flowers and wrap fairy lights around it if n-nothing fits?”
A defeated sigh, “I don’t know, Hwa.”
Seonghwa wanders over too, sitting heavily back on to his chair. “I tr-tried so h-hard,” he sniffles, “b-but nothing is working. I did it properly, I’m sure I did.”
Hongjoong sets his right hand on to the back corner of Seonghwa’s chair. He looks at the instructions.
Three Roses, two purple and one pink, are meant to erupt from other smaller, decorative leaf and white flower pieces. These pieces are on a circular base, a tall case is meant to sit over the final product. The set also includes optional fairy lights.
So far, what is actually built of the Lego looks really good, even though most of the pieces are currently tipped over or half-broken in some way or form. It’s clear Seonghwa has tried multiple times to fix it, but to no avail.
“I really l-like it,” Seonghwa says, “but I just can’t do it.”
Hongjoong places a soft kiss to the top centre of the older’s head. “Is there a chance you skipped a step?”
”No.”
”Are you s-”
A bitter, ”yes, Hongjoong, I’m sure.”
Blinking slowly, Hongjoong settles his chin on to the top of Seonghwa’s head. His entire body aches.
”I’m sorry,” Seonghwa says quietly, “I didn’t mean t- I’m just tired, I think. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
”Thank you for apologising, beautiful,” Hongjoong tells him, and then he finally acknowledges, “I’m tired too.”
Seonghwa reaches behind himself, Hongjoong holds the searching left hand in his own one. He threads their fingers together, settling their joined hands on to Seonghwa’s shoulder afterwards.
“What were you doing up there, anyway?”
”Working on a project.”
”What kind of project?”
”A song.”
”Well, yeah,” Seonghwa hums, “just- what song?”
”That’s a secret.”
Seonghwa’s shoulders deflate a little further, “okay.”
He tries not to feel guilty, but it does not work. He kisses Seonghwa’s head again, whispering against his hair, “shall we go to bed?”
”What about the Lego?”
”We can finish it in the morning,” a soft promise, “we will sit down together and figure out why it’s not all fitting where it’s supposed to.”
”Are you sure? I know you don’t like to-"
”It’s fine, beautiful,” Hongjoong tells him, and then he decides to repeat, “we’ll figure it out together.”
Seonghwa moves his head around a little, Hongjoong gets the hint and pulls upward. The older man tilts his head back, dry tears staining his cheeks.
”Hello,” Hongjoong smiles down at the one he loves, the expression fond.
”Hi,” is the quiet reply, and then, “thank you.”
”Of course,” Hongjoong bumps the tips of their noses together. This causes a line of blush to spread across the centre of Seonghwa’s face.
Using their joined hands, Hongjoong pulls his partner from the chair and back to the stairs, pausing only briefly to turn the kitchen light off beforehand.
They go to Hongjoong’s room where the still-running computer is seconds away from entering its standby mode. Seonghwa buries himself beneath the covers of the bed while Hongjoong tends to the electrical device.
He saves what little work he’s got done, closes his lyric notebook, and then tucks his chair beneath the desk.
”Why aren’t you telling me what the song is?”
”It’s a secret.”
“I don’t like it when you keep secrets.”
”I know,” Hongjoong acknowledges with a short nod, “but it’s a good one, promise.”
Seonghwa doesn’t say anything.
Hongjoong moves away from his relatively tidy desk and slips beneath the covers of his bed too.
”Hongjoong, honey, you’re not,” a nervous swallow, “overworking yourself, are you?”
Hongjoong turns his nightstand lamp off.
”Be honest.”
The younger shrugs lightly. “I- I think I was getting to that point tonight.”
“Oh.”
“But then you came in-”
”Crying over Lego…”
”You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
”How’d you know I was embarrassed?”
Hongjoong lies down on his back. ”I know you well.”
Seonghwa hums, “so do you know what I want right n-”
The younger’s left arm moves outward, lying across the pillow. Seonghwa smiles, shuffling a little closer to settle his head on to Hongjoong’s shoulder.
Hongjoong then curls his left arm around the older man’s shoulders, keeping him close, while Seonghwa drapes his own left arm across Hongjoong’s waist.
”I love you,” Hongjoong tells his boyfriend.
”I love you too,” Seonghwa responds.
A beat of quiet.
“Is the song for me?”
”You’ll have to wait and find out.”
Seonghwa giggles, “that means ‘yes’.”
Hongjoong smirks small.
The older of the two tilts his head upwards, and then the younger man looks down upon feeling the action occur. Their lips join briefly.
Once they have separated, they smile at each other through the bedroom’s darkness before Seonghwa moves his head back to its original position.
”Thank you for comforting me.”
”You don’t need to thank me for that-”
”Maybe not,” the older hums, “but I want to.”
Hongjoong says, “for what it’s worth, Hwa, I think the Lego looks good so far.”
”It looks messy.”
”Messy is good.”
A distant sigh, “I just wish I could’ve done more of it.”
”I know,” Hongjoong nods, “but like I said, the two of us will figure it out tomorrow.”
Seonghwa nods, allowing his eyes to slip closed.
”For now, we sleep.”
Seonghwa slots his left leg between the two legs of Hongjoong. He says again, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Hwa.”
”We should go on a date before we go to Australia,” he says, “even if it’s just a picnic in the garden.”
“That sounds nice,” he agrees, “I will get you those Strawberry cupcakes you love.”
Seonghwa smiles, feeling his consciousness slipping away.
”We’ll get the blankets out, watch the stars.”
A quiet hum.
”Quiet music will play, a cool breeze in our hair.”
Seonghwa’s breathing steadies, his smile fading into a look of peaceful content. Hongjoong then places his right hand over Seonghwa’s left one. He caresses small patterns on to his lover’s pale skin.
The action lulls the older into a dream world quickly, Hongjoong smiles fondly at him. Seonghwa’s words from earlier play in his mind:
”Hongjoong, honey, you’re not,” a nervous swallow, “overworking yourself, are you?”
”Thank you for looking out for me too,” Hongjoong whispers before placing a kiss to his lover’s hair. He moves his head and stares up at his ceiling.
Hongjoong lies awake for an additional ten minutes to ensure that Seonghwa remains happy within his own dreams before he allows himself to fall asleep too.
~•~
He moves slowly down the stairs, the cool morning air floating into the house through the window he has just opened. Seonghwa woke up alone around ten minutes ago, he has yet to figure out where his boyfriend has gotten to.
The bathrooms are all empty, the main studio room is empty too. He wanders into the lounge and sighs quietly. Hongjoong isn’t here either.
Deciding to try the kitchen and dining area next, the older of the couple moves towards it. The air in the home is getting warmer and warmer- and then…
His heart melts as he comes to a sudden stop in the doorway. Hongjoong is holding something in both his hands, looking at it with pride in his eyes.
”Joong,” Seonghwa smiles, straight away capturing the younger’s attention, “y- you finished it?”
Hongjoong blinks as if only just registering what he’s done. He looks back at the Lego flowers, “oh.”
Seonghwa takes a few steps forward, “oh?”
”I only meant to sort the base and first Rose for you. I hadn’t even realised-"
”It’s completely okay,” the Lego is just as beautiful as he’d thought it would be. Excitement is bubbling within the base of his stomach.
”Are you sure? I- I mean yesterday night we agreed to do it together.”
”Yeah, but-”
Hongjoong places the Lego down.
Seonghwa tells him honestly, “you did a really good job. I really appreciate you taking the time to finish it, even if you didn’t entirely realise you were doing so.”
Hongjoong focuses on the first part, “you think I did good?”
”Yes,” he hovers at Hongjoong’s side.
The younger pushes his chair back so that Seonghwa can sit sideways on his lap. The latter then holds his boyfriend’s face within his hands after he’s done so. Hongjoong curls his arms around Seonghwa’s hips.
”Good morning,” the taller says with a smile.
Hongjoong chuckles warmly, his two eyes are lit with adoration, “good morning, beautiful.”
”How did you sleep?”
”Well. Yourself?”
”Well too.”
Hongjoong joins their lips. “Do you fancy date night being tonight?”
Seonghwa smiles, “does that mean we get to bake cupcakes?”
”You don’t want to buy them?”
”Not this time,” Seonghwa shakes his head, “we can put a show on the laptop and spend even more time together.”
”Well I do love spending time with you-”
Seonghwa blushes, his hands falling to Hongjoong’s shoulders. “Smooth.”
”I try.”
A tender moment of simply just watching admiring each other goes by.
”I was thinking we could shower first-”
Seonghwa raises his eyebrows.
”To get clean?”
His eyebrows move even higher.
“-I mean I like spending time with you in there too.”
He cringes, albeit playfully, “oh, don’t be gross.”
Hongjoong rolls his eyes. ”Come on, I didn’t mean it in that way. I just meant that I like spending time with you no matter where we are.”
Seonghwa isn’t convinced, Hongjoong knows that.
”Okay, maybe I meant it in the other way just a little bit-”
An amused, ”oh, just a little?”
Hongjoong hums as he nods his head, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend again. Seonghwa melts into it, his body burning when Hongjoong drags him closer by the hips.
Their kiss steadily deepens, Hongjoong’s left hand wanders downward and Seonghwa smiles as he pulls back. He moves off of Hongjoong’s lap, the younger watches him go.
Hongjoong asks, “are you sure it’s okay I finished the Lego for you?”
”Of course it’s okay,” Seonghwa nods, “though I do appreciate you double checking.”
”You did everything right, by the way. The pieces are just small and stubborn,” a brief pause, “where are you putting it?”
His heart jumps. ”Oh, it- it’s for you.”
Hongjoong blinks. “It is?”
”Yeah,” a small smile, “I think that, mixed with how tired I was getting, was why- why I got so frustrated so quickly last night. I wanted it to be done as soon as possible because that meant you could have it as soon as possible. Thank you for- for helping out with it.”
”Of course.”
Standing from the chair, Hongjoong suddenly gets a new idea for the unfinished song upstairs. He’ll keep it in his head, for now Seonghwa is his entire focus.
”Thank you for the flowers,” Hongjoong says, “they are beautiful, Hwa, truly.”
”You’re welcome, hun,” Seonghwa allows for a pair of arms to wrap around him again, “I’m glad you like them.”
”I actually like really enjoyed finishing it.”
He really had only meant to sort the base and first flower out, but after doing that successfully, he just couldn’t stop. He obviously had no idea that he was completing flowers meant as a gift for himself.
”You know, there are couples Lego out there.”
”There is?”
”Little plant pots holding hands, they’re so cute!”
Hongjoong falls in love all over again. “We’ll have to look into those then, won’t we?”
Seonghwa nods, “I would love that.”
Hongjoong kisses Seonghwa once again, and then he pulls back, “so about that shower-”
Seonghwa just playfully rolls his eyes before saying, “let’s go then.”