Work Text:
It had been twenty since they became partners. Twenty days since they’ve resolved their differences, on a personal level, to be clear. Twenty days since they promised each other that they would go on a date one day.
The issue is… they had to wait until they both had the same day off. The life of a spy didn’t involve normal nine to five working hours. There was almost no chance of going out early in the evening after their shift, so they both agreed to have their date on their mutual day off so they would both have the chance and time to plan something. It was possible, in theory. The new found lovers and old found haters both knew each other's work schedules like the back of their own hands.
However, Black realized that the next time he and White would be off together was in a little less than two months away. He has had three days off since that day, while his new partner only had one. None of those days fell on the same date, and Black didn’t want to keep waiting.
He wanted to have a nice, pleasant day out with White for once, a genuinely pleasant day now that they were together, in the good way. Where they could be as normal of a couple as they could muster, without that pesky knowledge in the back of their heads that one would be out to screw over and/or kill the other. Pacing the floor, Black racked his brain on how he could have this date sooner.
Several ideas and stray thoughts ran though his mind, then it was like a lightbulb went off. He had many ways of finding out when and where White was going to be at all times. The day before he found out that White would be stealing spare machine parts and tools from the oil rig right outside of town.
With a plan in mind, Black began to make preparations for his date. A dinner and a movie date was a plain date all things considered, but it was a classic for a reason. With a movie picked out that he knew White would love, he went on to start dinner. After preparing the steak dinner, he put it in the oven to keep it warm, and went out to go pick up his date.
White was assigned to sneak into the oil rig, and “borrow” various supplies for his embassy’s own purposes. He also had to train the first of many new hired spies in the process. He had to train all of them, in fact, at least out on the field. He didn’t like having all this responsibility put upon him all in such a short and sudden period, but at least this hopefully meant the end having to work so much overtime. Working in this profession was daunting enough when your embassy wasn’t dealing with a massive staff loss.
It couldn’t have come at a worse time either. It had been weeks since he and Black got together. They had been waiting to go on their first for just as long. They only got to see each other on the clock, having to pretend that everything was the same as it had been for the past few decades.
How long had it been since he’d been in a serious relationship? Too long. All he wanted was to see Black in a different light, and to take a break.
He was in the security room to sabotage the cameras, so the missing supplies couldn’t get traced back to him and his trainee. He told her to stand out the door and warn when they had company.
White reached for a control panel that was almost too high for him, but he could get to it.
He almost got it, but then, a lasso of rope wrapped itself and then tightened around his wrist. Before he could attack or get a look at the attacker, they’d already grabbed his other hand and swiftly tied them together. Followed by gagging and blinding him and binding him in more rope.
His captor carried him outside, all he could hear was the cacophony for the oil rig security, then the sound of a car trunk opening. The captor threw him in and whatever was in there, he could tell it cut a small gash into his head.
After being pulled out of the trunk, White felt himself being slung over his captor's shoulder and could hear said captor’s heavy breathing as they ran up what he guessed to be about four flights of stairs. The bouncing around from being lugged around by a running man didn’t help his aching head. The captor opened a door to what White assumed was a secret base of another embassy. His first thought as his legs were being tied to a chair, reasonably so, was that he was about to be interrogated. Over what, he couldn’t be sure.
His second thought however, was that something seemed off about the room he was in, there was a scent that he could just barely pick up on that was somehow very familiar to him, though it was heavily masked by the pungent stench of garlic and herbs. He had a few stray thoughts starting in his head, first wondering what happened to the spy he was training, but it was most likely she just got thrown out on her ass as soon as she was caught. But also, he wondered if whether or not his embassy would bother sending someone to retrieve him, if they could even find him at all, or if they’d just bank on him keeping his lips shut as he died for them once again.
But before that thought could fully form, White started to really listen to his surroundings. And the more he listened, the more confused he was. There was the sound of rapid clacking on wooden floor, whoever the captor was was clearly in a rush. The slight breeze and an audible whooshing of fabric being swiftly unfolded directly in front of him, followed by what White was certain was his captor smoothing it out. There was the chiming of ceramics and metal, pouring of cold liquid, clacking of ice cubes and the flick of a lighter followed by the oh-so subtle crackle of a candle being lit. As opposed to the loud hissing he would hear if it were dynamite. Was he having dinner prepared for him? Was this some sort of elaborate poisoning? Why would they even go through the trouble?
However, the thing that he couldn’t quite put his finger on most of all, that is even if he could use his fingers, was the sound of muttering. It sounded faintly familiar, much like the scent of the room, it almost sounded like… No, no. It couldn’t be, Black wasn’t scheduled to work today, but he was the only spy he knew who set up an elaborate ruse like this, other than the Grey Spy, but that voice he heard didn’t sound anything like hers.
White finally decided to speak up, demanding to know who the captor was and what they wanted with him. Of course, he wasn’t intelligible because he was gagged, but the sound of shoes walking on wood and muttering came to a sudden halt.
“Oh my bad, toots. I’m still getting everything ready.”
…
Agent Black… It really was him? But why? White yelled his name in surprise. Still muffled from the gag, but Black still caught that.
“Here, let me get that for you.”, Black said nonchalantly as he uncovered the others mouth and eyes, before tossing them on the floor. He leaned in, eyes half-lidded and smirking, “So how was work today, sailor?”
White briefly stammered, “‘How was work?’ I’m still working! I was in the middle of a heist when you nabbed me!”, he said with irritation building up in him. “I thought it was your day off today.”
“Oh, it is.” Black pulled out some parsley to sprinkle over the steaks, “That’s how I had the time to set this up.”
“We both promised that our scuffles wouldn’t get personal anymore.”
“Well lucky for you this isn’t a scuffle.” Black pulled up a chair and sat next to White. “This is a date. Our first date!”
White ignored the comment about this supposedly being a date, “You know, you were pretty god damn harsh when you threw me in the trunk of your car. My head hurts like hell!”
“Heh, let me see the damage.” Pulling off White’s hat, he got a good look of the injury and hissed at the sight. The back of White’s head was forming a bump and had a minor gash. “Oh, that does look pretty bad.” Now this was far, far from the worst or most painful thing that either of them had done to each other, but Black genuinely didn’t want to hurt White this time. He wanted him and his date to have a good time with each other for once and the literal headache he was giving him wasn’t helping. He got out some gauze and ibuprofen and took this as a sign to treat this situation a little more delicately.
“Look, White, I really didn’t mean to hurt you. I swear.” White was still glaring but let him continue. “I wanted to put you in the front seat with me and talk about this on the way home, but security and one of your embassy’s spies caught me so I was in a hurry.”, Black explained as he fed White the pain killers. “I mean it. I’m sorry.”
White’s eyes softened at the apology, “Okay, I believe you. But… why? What the hell’s all this for?”
“I just told you. This is our first date, dinner and a movie. I set it all up just…”, Black went to tap White on the snoot. “-for you.”
White’s gaze scanned the house, his head now freshly patched up, “This is a little different from how we planned our first night out a few weeks ago.”
“Well, I got sick of waiting. And didn’t want to keep you waiting either.”, Black explained as he went to grab the dinner plates and put them on the table. “We both know it would be months before we both got to have a day for ourselves, especially with your dear leader working you like a dog, so I took matters into my own hands.”, he cut up a piece of the steak for his date to taste. He instinctively turned his head, “Sorry, force of habit.”
Black understood, if they swapped places, he wouldn’t be so quick to trust either. He knew he gave White the bigger portion for a reason. So he ate some of his serving. Once White was sure it was safe, he let his host feed him a bite.
The steak wasn’t half bad, though he really needed to lay off the garlic. However, White didn’t appreciate the pot shot Black took at his boss, so he shot back while averting his gaze, “Only because your dear leader has been demanding a higher body count against my embassy.”
That comment also ticked off Black, but he attempted to shirk it off just as quickly. After all, it was no longer meant to be personal, “Heh, touché.”, he said, but couldn’t help himself as he shoved in a mouthful of sautéed potatoes, a little more than White could comfortably handle, but he managed to swallow just fine.
White shouldn’t be here right now and he knew that good and well, but he was tired. After all the overtime and all the training, he just wanted to relax, even if he only for a few hours. If being kidnapped is what it took to get that break, then so be it.
He tried to choose his next words carefully. Black’s approach to their first date was uncouth, but he didn’t want to give him the idea that he wanted to leave. White wanted this date just as much as he did, “…So, I’m assuming you’re not planning on untying me?”
“No. No can do.”, he said bluntly. He cupped White’s face, tilting his head to look up at him, “Like you said, you’re still technically working. If I untie you, you won’t be here against your will. And I’d hate for our date to end with you getting busted for fraternizing with the enemy, especially on the clock. Sorry, kid.”
“You just like seeing me tied up, don’t you?”
“Hmmmmm… Yes.”
He wasn’t surprised by that at all, but casual confession still made his face heat up, which Black took great pleasure in.
After dragging his seat across the table from his date, Black tented his fingers and rested his chin on them, and decided it was time to redirect the conversation, “So let’s start over. How was work today?”
If White didn’t know better, he’d think this was all some elaborate ruse for the Black Embassy to gather more intel of the enemy, but of course that wasn’t the case. Though there was still that nagging feeling in the back of his head telling him otherwise. Something he had to learn to fight off. “Well…”, he started hesitatantly, “…we’ve hired a few more recruits a few days ago, and I’ve been assigned to all of them for training out on the field.”
“All of them? What, there’s no one else who can do it?”
“My boss prefers I field train them, since he doesn’t have to worry about their lack of experience getting me killed.”
“Okay, makes sense. Anything else?”, he coaxed.
“Me and one of the new hires were assigned to the oil rig to…”,Ok, date or no date, that’s classified info. So he lied, “-set up hidden cameras.”
Black busted out into a loud snicker, and before the other could even ask why, Black was already answering, “Oh c’mon dollface, you didn’t think I already figured it out what you were up to? How do you think I managed to track you down so quickly? Besides, you’re the one that brought up you were ‘in the middle of a heist’. If you’re gonna lie, at least keep your story straight!”
White’s eye twitched and his cheeks burned, “Okay, you want the truth?”
Black nodded.
“Well, early on I nearly got cooked alive from the leaking steam pipes and the new spy was shit at disarming any of the staff that caught us, and you, apparently! Oh, and some jackass from the Black Embassy kidnapped me and dragged me to his house for a dinner date.”
Black laughed even harder this time and laughed out a “Fuck you!”, before putting his face to the table and pounding his fist on said table. “Ah yes, how dare that asshole try to show you a good time!”
White tried to hold in a laugh but Black’s own chortle was so contagious that he folded moments later.
After coming down from his laughing fit, Black spoke up, “Ah, there’s a smile. It’s about time.”, This talk about work was fun, but it was time to move on to other more personal topics. He cut up a piece of his stake then waved it around on his fork while asking, “Alright alright, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”
White knew good and well that question was meant to be rhetorical, but after mulling it over, he couldn’t help but answer in ernest, “Because… well because… is there anything we don’t already know about each other in extensive detail by now?” Well, there were at least a few things he could tell Black about, but he didn’t think those were topics that he should bring up on a first date.
“I’m sure there’s something we could still dig up if we tried.” Black looked up and racked his brain. “Hmmmm, I know you like to read. Tell me about the last book you read.”
White was internally getting wound up. He tried to not let it show how excited he was, but Black noticed his eyes lighting up from across the table. It was as if White had been waiting his whole life to hear those words.
“Alright alright, go on. Tell me alllll about it. I can just tell you're dying too.”
The thought of the excitement being so clear on his face embarrassed him a little. But that was forgotten about very quickly as he proceeded to chatter endlessly about the books that he had mostly made his way through, “Lord Of The Rings”. Although Black was making an effort to hang off his date’s every word, as a good boyfriend should, he had a hard time following. Not only was White talking progressively faster as he went on, but there were all these made up words and names, and Black just didn’t really understand what in the hell he was talking about for half of it.
White being into fantasy didn’t surprise him at all though, with all the fairytale books he had caught him reading and how a few of those said stories have somehow managed to get entangled into their schemes.
Black was absentmindedly eating and drinking while listening to the other man’s passionate spiel, not even looking down to cut up his food into manageable chunks. After the tenth attempt of poking around for more food without looking, he looked down and realized that his plate was empty. It only now dawned on him that White’s food and whiskey hasn’t been touched since he was fed the first few bites.
Not wanting the food to get cold, Black pulled his chair back next to White, cut off a piece of steak and stuffed it into his mouth mid sentence. White glared at him, he would have chewed Black out right then and there for rudely interrupting him if he wasn’t busy chewing his dinner. Black said smiling and trying to keep a lighthearted mood, “Don’t look at me like that. Look, I wanna keep hearing about your little story, but your food’s getting cold. So eat up, hun.”
“‘Lord Of The Rings’ is not a little story.”, White almost muttered. His date then fed him bland, boiled asparagus. Would it have killed him to at least put salt on them? And he wasn’t shy about letting Black know what he thought of the food.
Despite that, after several more bites and a few steady sips of whiskey, dinner was done. Now it was time to move on the movie part of their date. Black untied the other’s legs from the dining chair, and carried him to the couch. He left his legs untied, so White crossed them. “So what movie did you pick out?”
Black eyed the name before putting the VHS tape in the player, “Cat Ballou.”
White was surprised, “Wow, I love that movie. How’d you know?”
“You’re welcome, I found it on your coffee table when I broke into your house, I took the VHS player too.”
“You bro-! Nevermind…”, he didn’t need to ask. Of course, Black setting up this date involved breaking and entering. He kidnapped him and sabotaged his mission, why would he draw the line at breaking into his home and stealing.
“By the way, how’s your head?”
“…Better.”
After putting in the movie and pressing “Play”, Black moseyed over back to sit next to the man sitting tied up and pretty on his couch and nonchalantly wrapped his arm around his shoulders. By the time they were a third of the way through the movie, White had either been laughing, humming along to the musical portions, or just leaning into Black, comfortable and happy. All while they shared another glass of whiskey. What could possibly go-
“Sir! …Sir!? Are… you up there?!”, an out of breath voice came from outside the room, along with the sound of someone trudging up the stairs.
White sat up instantly and recognized that voice. He said in a hushed voice, “Shit, she found me.”, He then paused and changed his tone, saying to no one, “Heh, good work, rookie.”
“You know that broad?”
“Yes, she’s the new hire that I was training today.” He briefly eyed the door, “Now go get rid of her.”
Black was already on his way to the door, “No need to tell me twice.” But before he could leave…
“Wait!”, White said, still in that hushed voice.
“What?”
He replied in a stern tone, “Do not kill her, you understand me? And no need to go too hard on her. It won’t take much to scare her off.”
“I got it, I got it! Don’t blow a fuse, toots.”, Black went through the door and closed it behind him. And right on cue, the lady in white had reached the top of the stairs, meeting her enemy spy face to face. She was a quivering mess, one hand in a karate chop motion and the other hand holding a gun with her finger on the trigger.
“L-let him… go, enemy spy- hey! You’re the one… that tased me!
“I’ll do worse if you get too close.”, Without skipping a beat, Black pulled out a bazooka and pointed it at the rookie spy’s head, she was now reaching for the sky in surrender, but didn’t drop the gun. “Listen here, the white spy’ll come back to life after I’m done with him, but you won’t.” His voice then suddenly slipped into a slight southern twang, definitely influenced by the movie he was watching and most likely from the alcohol in his system. “So I suggest you get a move on, little missy, before this gets ugly.”
There was a long pause, then Black cocked the bazooka, which made the other spy shriek and run down the stairs. He watched her until she was out the door, which she didn’t even bother to close.
He walked back in the house, and sat back on the couch to continue their date, “What’d I miss?”
They were both right back to where they left off. One spy with his arm wrapped around the other, and said other spy was comfortable and enjoying himself. Black couldn’t get used to how strange it felt to feel contentment in his former enemy’s presence, that his joy was bringing him joy.
And it was just as puzzling for White, maybe even more so. Not only being able to relax while wrapped under Black’s arm, despite himself, but doing so while being bound in rope, and knowing he’ll probably return to a home with a broken window.
The movie had ended. Black dragged White out on the balcony for a few smokes, enjoying the quiet. After the last cigarette, he asked, “Well, how’d I do? Would you let me take you out again?” Okay, maybe that second question could have been worded better.
…
“Well would you? C’mon, I know you had fun!”
White tried to feign annoyance, but couldn’t stop smiling, “If I say ‘yes’ will take me home? My shoulders are killing me.”
He obliged, throwing White over his shoulder. But before he went to leave, Black gave him a swift smack on the ass, prompting a surprised and embarrassed yelp, and a snicker from himself.
The two were now pulled up near White’s house, and Black had freed the other spy from his bounds, “Alright, get the hell out.”, He said cheekily. After getting out, White walked around the car and knocked on his window. After Black rolled it down, he was surprised with a bouquet of roses that his date had pulled out of nowhere.
“For me?”, Black said, really playing up the cutesie affection, “Aw, you shouldn’t have, snookums!”
White replied, rolling his eyes, “Don’t mention it.”
Black gave White a kiss on the snoot, “Good night, dollface.”, before the other man walked back to his house.
He got a good look at the flowers, they were a little wilted and dry, but still beautiful. Nothing a little water couldn’t fix, but he wondered how long White had these on him. Was he expecting Black to take him out on a surprise rendezvous? Before he could give that any further thought, he all but dug his whole face into the flowers to smell them.
“YEEOOOOOOWWWWW!”
There was a snake hiding in there… and if White was laughing from his doorstep, Black couldn’t hear it over his own screaming. After he pulled the snake off his snoot and threw it out the window, “Get. Off!”, he noticed a note just barely sticking out at the top.
“Thanks for taking me out, I had fun. P.S. Don’t worry, the snake’s not venomous."
So much for no more personal scuffles…