Work Text:
November 2016
Shane gets back to the hotel before the team dinner.
"You're back early," Hayden says, before Shane has even closed the door behind himself. "I figured Boston Lily was going to keep you all night."
When Shane turns around, his face is ashen, like he's seen a ghost. He mutters something about not wanting to miss the team meeting in the morning. Hayden raises his eyebrows. Shane tosses his phone on the nightstand, and–weirdly–it doesn't vibrate with any messages.
Even weirder, Shane comes to the team dinner at an Italian place in the North End. Hayden shoots glances at him all night. Shane is quiet, and he eats the garlic bread, which Hayden is pretty sure isn't macrobiotic.
Shane's play is all off in the game the following day. He misses an easy pass from Berkes, and Boston scores on Mitty when Shane was at centre ice instead. Boston's Rozanov must be injured or hiding an illness, because he doesn't check Shane into the boards in the end zone when Shane has the puck. The guy can't even bother to shittalk Shane at their faceoffs. Hayden's almost glad for it. Not that he would admit it.
"If you, uh, want to talk about anything…?" he offers, afterwards, in the dressing room. He pats Shane on the shoulder. "It's no biggie, bud. We'll get them next time."
As the bus rolls out from the arena to the airport for their flight to Columbus, Shane's phone is still silent. Usually Shane would be bent over his phone, furiously texting Boston Lily with a dopey smile plastered on his face. Instead, he stares blankly at the rain sluicing down the window.
His game is just as bad in Columbus. The Bluesocks are shit. Their defense is shit, and their offense is even worse. Hayden steals the puck from the Columbus rightwinger and slams it toward Shane. Shane's not even halfway to the net before Columbus has the puck back in their control. Montreal wins, but it's JJ who scores, not Shane.
"Everything okay?" Hayden asks. They're in their hotel room. Shane hasn't taken his phone out of his pocket. "You seem…distracted."
"I'm fine," Shane says. His voice is hollow. He takes a crumpled tshirt out from his carryon and refolds it. Hayden might be dense, but he's not completely oblivious.
Jackie sends a picture of Arthur, with spaghetti sauce all over his face. Someone takes after his dad's eating habits.
Hayden replies with a laughing emoji. He looks over to Shane. A spreadsheet of goal stats is open on his phone, but he's not really looking at it. He's just staring into a void. His thumbs are motionless on the sides of his phone.
I think Shane and Boston Lily had a fight.
Jackie replies. Did he say anything?
Hayden: No but he's acting weird.
Jackie: Did you ask him?
Hayden sits up."Did you and Boston Lily have a fight?" he asks.
Shane whips his head around. "No–it's not–it was nothing. We're not together or anything," Shane says quickly.
Hayden nods slowly. "Sure…" he says.
He texts Jackie back. Yeah, they had a fight.
Jackie: They'd better make up asap because I still haven't met the mysterious Lily yet.
Jackie: I want to be the first WAG to meet her.
***
March 2017
Shane comes over for dinner a couple weeks after the All-Star Game in Tampa. He's got a bounce in his step from more than just his new fancy shoes that the stylist helped him buy.
Jackie eyes his leather jacket up and down when Shane slides it onto a hanger, and tucks it into their foyer closet. "Fancy," she says.
Shane gives her a lopsided smile. "Uh, thanks," he says.
"You must have made the ladies stop and stare in Florida," Jackie tells him.
Shane almost blushes. "I guess so," he says. "The arena was sold out."
"And it was a good game," Jackie says. Hayden tries not to be jealous. The sting of missing out again still prickles. Jackie rubs the small of Hayden's back as if she senses his thoughts. "We had a watch party here," she tells Shane.
"Yeah," Shane says. "The game was fun. They haven't done East versus West in a decade."
"Good weather, too," Jackie adds.
"Definitely," Shane agrees. There's a buzz from his pocket. They're not even in the kitchen before Hayden hears Shane's phone buzz again. Throughout dinner, between Hayden wrangling one of the twins back to the table and picking up Arthur's spoon from the floor fifteen times, Hayden catches Shane with his phone under the table. Hayden can't quite see the screen from his seat at the end of the table. Shane is rarely that distracted. Either Yuna has had another sponsorship idea, or Shane's busy chatting with Lily.
"Hayd, can you clear the plates?" Jackie asks him. She leans back in her chair and flexes her left foot. Her hands pat her bump.
"Yeah, yeah," Hayden says. "Just stay sitting."
"I'll help," Shane says. He sets his phone on top of the table. It buzzes, and sure enough, a message pops up with Lily's name. 9 is good.
Hayden clocks that information for later. After they load all the dishes into the dishwasher, Jackie ushers the twins and Arthur upstairs to give them guys' time. "Have you got the new MLH video game?" Hayden asks Shane. They're sprawled across Hayden's sectional in the family room. Hayden nurses a beer, and Shane nurses his ginger ale.
"The new game? I didn't know it was out yet." Shane asks.
Hayden holds up the game. Rozanov poses on the cover with a Slavic scowl. "They picked the worst player for the cover, but it's got better graphics this edition. The slapshot function is pretty cool."
Shane checks his Rolex. "Maybe another time. I'm kind of tired and want to be at training early tomorrow before the game. I'll probably head out soon."
"Sure," Hayden says. His phone screen shows 7:37. "Another time."
As soon as Shane is out the door, Hayden rushes upstairs, ostensibly to help Ruby brush her teeth. After two Disney's Frozen stories, the twins crawl into bed and Hayden closes the door behind himself. Jackie flops down on their bed.
"God, my feet ache!" she says with a moan.
"Shane is back with Boston Lily," Hayden says.
"Really?"
"I think."
Jackie smiles. "Good. They have, like, some sort of secret epic romance, I swear."
"Even if she's married," Hayden says.
"We don't know that," Jackie says.
"But she might be."
"Maybe."
"It would explain a lot," Hayden says. "There's gotta be some reason he refuses to make it official. I mean, he fessed up to seeing Rose pretty fast."
Jackie sighs. "Well, JJ did sort of help set them up. I wanted to meet her. I'm a little bummed they broke up."
Hayden grunts.
Jackie heaves herself onto her side. Her bump is so big now that it pokes Hayden in the arm. "Hey," she says. She licks her bottom lip. "Kids are in bed…" She rubs her foot over his calf.
Hayden grins. "Yeah?"
Jackie waggles her eyebrows. "Oh yeah, you." She starts to tug at the hem of her shirt, but Hayden is already helping her pull it up over her head.
***
They've barely stepped into the Boston hotel room, when Shane slips his jacket back on.
"I'm going out to grab a tea," he says. His hands fidget at the sides of his pants.
"Yeah?" Hayden says. "A two-hour tea? Before the game?"
Shane shakes his head. "What do you mean?"
Hayden rolls his eyes. "Go make up with your girl. I can watch the Food channel and jerk off in peace again." He flops back on his bed, laughing.
"Gross," Shane mutters, but he's got that little smile on his face. The one he always saved for Boston Lily before their fight. Hayden sighs with relief.
"Don't fuck it up with her again, dude!" he calls as Shane closes the door behind himself. "And grab me a latte on your way back."
***
April 2017
The fight with Marlow nets Hayden a split lip and ten minutes in the penalty box. He sits there, wiping blood on his sleeve, and shaking with rage and shock and worry for Shane. It's a good thing the penalty lasts through most of the first period, because his entire body shakes too much to play. The whole incident has already become a blur, except for the rush of applause when the paramedics carried Shane off the ice on the spinal stretcher.
Hayden does his best to focus the rest of the game. When he sees Rozanov at centre ice with Wilson, Montreal's second line centre, Hayden feels ill. Rozanov still looks ashen, and he loses the faceoff, though he steals the puck from Wilson before Wilson can make it to Boston's blue line. In the end, Boston wins, with the lone goal scored by Carmicheal.
The Montreal dressing room is subdued after the game. Coach Therieault comes in, and announces that Shane's at Montreal General Hospital. "I'll let everyone know more as soon as I can," he says. "He'll be out for the playoffs."
"Are his parents there?" JJ asks.
"On their way," Coach says.
"I'll grab his stuff," Hayden says. He texts Jackie quickly, and heads to the showers. No one talks much. Berkes doesn't even slap anyone on the butt. After, Hayden slumps down on the bench in his towel. Shane's phone buzzes non-stop with messages.
Hayden stuffs Shane's clothes and shoes into his backpack. He reaches for Shane's phone. It buzzes again. The name Lily lights up on the screen, and Hayden's stomach sinks.
you scaring me
Then another: text when you can followed by a stream of kiss face emojis
If Hayden were creepy like Jackie, he would hack into Shane's phone and send Lily a response. She must have been watching the game on tv. She'd be totally helpless and stuck there in Boston, not even able to see Shane in the hospital.
Hayden shoves Shane's phone into his backpack. His own phone buzzes with a text from Yuna Hollander. We're here with Shane. He's in radiology right now getting a scan. He's responsive.
Hayden lets out a long whistle. "Thank god," he mutters under his breath. He replies to Yuna that he's got Shane's bag, and he'll bring it in the morning once visitor hours open.
When he steps in the door at home, Jackie pulls him into a tight hug. "God, that looked so scary," she says. She looks at him and brushes her fingertip to his lip. Hayden winces.
"I'll get a bag of peas for that," Jackie tells him.
Hayden's body is too wired, and his heart is racing from adrenaline. It's late, but there's no way he can sleep yet. He flicks the news on tv, but the sports recap is all replays of Shane crumpling to the ice after Marlow's collision, and Rozanov hovering in the background.
In the morning, Hayden grabs Shane's bag to head over to the hospital while Jackie does the school and daycare run in the van. She kisses him before he leaves. "Tell Shane I said hi. And don't forget to give him the card the girls made."
Hayden isn't sure that a cheerio-milk-stained card will boost Shane's spirits much, but he nods.
Yuna had texted him Shane's room number before he crawled out of bed. Hayden opens his SUV door. There is a buzz from Shane's backpack on the passenger seat. Hayden hesitates, then he pulls out Shane's phone. Lily is messaging again. are you awake are you ok
Aside from Boston Lily, Shane is not exactly mysterious. He's as straightforward as any good ol' other hockey player from good ol' Ottawa. Hayden has seen Shane's fingers swipe the passcode for his phone a hundred times, but he only half paid attention. So Hayden tries the first combination he thinks might be correct: 6411. Yuna's birthday.
Nope.
He tries the numbers reversed. 1164. The main screen pops up, a picture of the misty lake at Shane's cottage. Hayden smiles to himself. Good ol' Shane.
Jackie would kill to have access to Shane's phone to answer her burning questions about Lily. Given the circumstances, Hayden feels a pang of guilt. He'll just send a quick message, then turn it off.
Boston Lily is Shane's most recent contact, but there's a dozen other names who blew up his phone overnight.
Shane.
Shane!
Hope you're okay, bud.
Saw your fall. Clenched teeth.
Get well soon!
Wincing, Hayden clicks on Lily. She sent several messages in the middle of the night. The poor girl was probably awake all night, crying and freaking out.
Shane
Please answer soon
You are scaring me
Above the frantic messages is a longer one, sent before the game:
You can come all over my face tonight
Hayden drops the phone to the floor mat by his feet. That message will be seared in his mind forever. He shudders.
He takes a deep breath and types:
This is Shane's friend Hayden. He's stable now. About to go to visit the hospital and will bring his phone to him.
His room number is 1217 in case you want to visit or send him a card
Three dots appear as she types something back. Then they disappear. Hayden waits. The dots reappear.
Ok.
Thank you.
Hayden considers responding, and asking more questions, since the brain-bleaching message seems to imply Lily might be in town right now for a visit, but the girl has been through enough. He shuts the screen off and starts his SUV engine for the drive. It's rush hour and he'll probably hit traffic on the bridge.
At Montreal General, Hayden grabs his visitor pass from the reception desk, and weaves his way through the hospital labyrinth. As he walks down a long corridor, between clusters of nurses in scrubs and someone pushing a janitor's cart, he sees Rozanov walking the opposite direction. His head is hung low and his jaw is clenched. He must be here on captain's privileges. Hayden wouldn't have thought Rozanov would be polite enough to come and check on Shane.
It would be so easy to check Rozanov into the wall, or maybe punch his face, but the guy looks, well, miserable and distracted. Hopefully he feels guilty about what Marlow did to Shane, Hayden thinks.
He walks past Rozanov without a word. Rozanov doesn't even notice.
***
August 2017
After his injury, Shane is one hundred percent back with Boston Lily. Hayden was off for a month with Jackie and the new baby, then the team had two weeks off, so it's August training camp before Hayden sees Shane again.
"Good time with your folks?" Hayden asks.
Shane nods. He touches his collarbone. "Yeah. I mean, not the being injured part, but it was good to see them again."
Hayden grabs Shane's head and checks him over. "No lasting damage from what I can see," he tells Shane. He ruffles Shane's hair, and laughs when Shane pats it back down in place.
"All ready to get back into it," Shane says. "And, uh, all good with you?"
Hayden nods. "Jackie's feeling a lot better now. The doctor says she healed really well, and she's able to drive again."
Shane smiles. Hayden hears the familiar buzz of his phone in Shane's jacket pocket. He nearly rolls his eyes.
In the gym, Hayden watches Shane texting on his phone between sets at the rowing machine. At lunch, Shane alternates between sipping his green protein smoothie and scrolling through his phone. At team meetings, Shane keeps touching his pocket under the table. At one point, Hayden's pissing a stream at the urinals in the dressing room, and he can hear the soft buzz of Shane's phone in his cubby.
On his way back out, Hayden may or may not take a peek at Shane's phone screen. There's a new notification from Lily.
might have left my shirt at the cottage
Hayden raises his eyebrows. Well well well, he thinks.
Later, when they're skating laps around the ice, Hayden skates up to Shane. "Had a good time at your cottage?" he asks.
Either the fluorescent lights flicker overhead, or Shane blushes. "It was nice to get away," Shane says.
"On your silent-ish retreat," Hayden adds. He thinks back, trying to remember if anything was different the couple times he called Shane those weeks. Hayden's mind is a bit patchy. Amber still isn't sleeping through the night, and both he and Jackie are surviving on adrenaline and caffeine. Still, he recalls Shane was breathlessly distracted by a deliveryman during the one call.
Or was he with…?
"You should invite your girl there sometime," Hayden says.
Shane nearly trips over his skates. He catches his footing and stares at Hayden. "What do you mean?" he asks.
"Your girl, Boston Lily. You should invite her to the cottage. Have a private retreat. Alone. Together."
"We're not–"
Hayden elbows Shane in the side with a laugh. "Dude, we all know you two are back together! We just want to meet her."
JJ skates up behind them. He must have heard part of their conversation. The rink echoes weirdly when there are no fans in the stands. "Hell yeah, Hollander. You left Rose Landry for her. She must be something, eh?"
"Big tits?" Hayden offers.
"Nice ass?" JJ asks. He smacks Shane on the butt.
Shane spins around and shakes his head. He skates away from them. "Oh my fucking god," he mutters.
Hayden looks at JJ, who grins back at him. "Those two are definitely back on," Hayden says.
***
Fall 2017
Jackie declares, "This is the year I'm going to meet Boston Lily."
"Yeah?" Hayden asks.
"I've decided," Jackie says. "Enough is enough. Ask Shane for her info. I want to add her to the WAGS chat."
"I've asked before…" Hayden says.
"Then I'll ask. The next time he's here for dinner."
Jackie and the WAGS have Boston Lily narrowed down to three leading candidates, all of whose socials Jackie creeps on periodically. "Though really, Laine's girlfriend Jorden–the new one I told you about–she's done all the hard sleuthing," Jackie says. "I just…verified some information."
Amber is asleep on Jackie's chest. The baby lets out a small sigh when Jackie pulls up a couple facebook profiles on her phone. The first is a woman with long brown hair posing against fall foliage. Lily Bartlett. "This one is a teacher, fresh out of school, but she has a brother who works for the Bears in marketing."
The second one is a woman with dark eyes, dyed blonde hair, and her head cocked to the side. Lily Jefferson. "This one moved to Boston around the same time Shane started seeing her. She's a lawyer, family law."
"Oooh," Hayden says. "Could be a ball-buster."
Jackie nods. "Yeah, but Priya thinks Shane would be into that."
"Probably," Hayden agrees.
"This last one is a dark horse," Jackie says. She clicks around, then manages to open the profile. Lily Whittaker. She's the least pretty of the three: her eyes are a bit down-turned, and her face is more natural, without much makeup. Still, she stares at the camera boldly, and her auburn hair looks nice. "She's a grad student at Boston University, in Sports Medicine."
Hayden raises his eyebrows. Amber smacks her lips, still scrunched up and asleep on Jackie.
"I know, I know, she might be too smart for Shane, BUT I just get a vibe from her. Maybe they met on Tinder. She worked at a bookstore, so maybe Shane walked in and bought a book one day?"
"I think he can read," Hayden says.
Jackie hits him on the arm and sighs heavily. "I just…I think it could be her," she says. "We took votes on which Lily it was, and the first one was a landslide. Priya was going to dm her last week, but Hanna and I talked her out of it. You know, in case we were wrong, or it backfired and Boston Lily freaked out. She'd never join the WAGS chat. And I'd never get to have them over for couples dinner."
Hayden looks at Jackie. She sits on the couch, in her milk-stained sweatshirt and leggings, with a proud smile on her face. She pets the back of Amber's head absently.
"You're really creepy, you know that?" Hayden tells her. He leans in and kisses her softly on the mouth. "But I still love you."
Jackie kisses him back. Then she pulls away and waves her phone in front of Hayden. "Well, if you got her contact info from Shane like I asked, we wouldn't have to resort to being creepy," she says.
***
November 2017
Montreal plays out west in Calgary and Edmonton, back-to-back nights. Hayden loves the vibe in Calgary, and the team dinner is at a steakhouse downtown, near the hotel. He eats way too much Alberta beef, and groans his way back to the hotel room. Hayden flips through the tv channels, and cracks open a pepsi. The ice bucket is empty, so he pulls his sweatpants back on and leaves the room to search for the ice machine.
He's halfway down the corridor when he hears Shane's voice. When Hayden went back to the room, Shane was lingering at the hotel bar with JJ and Mitty. Hayden moves closer.
"...yeah, I know…" Shane says in a low voice. He's almost murmuring.
There is a pause, then "I miss you too. I wish I could see you now."
Boston Lily, Hayden thinks. He rattles the ice bucket and clears his throat loudly.
Shane says, "Gotta go, love you."
Young love, Hayden thinks. To be fair, Shane's only a year younger than him. Still, after four kids, sometimes it feels like he's been with Jackie for decades instead of seven years.
Shane pops out from the ice machine room. His freckles pop under his flushed cheeks. Hayden dangles the ice bucket. "Just getting some ice," he says. "All right, bud?"
Shane slips his phone into his jacket pocket. "Just a call from–"
Hayden winks. "I know who," he says. "Your favourite girl."
"She's not–"
"No judgement," Hayden says. "I know she's a Bears fan. We all have our flaws. Hope she's planning a hot date for you next month!"
Shane's face is the colour of a tomato when he mutters, "Fuck off!"
***
December 2017
They play Boston the last game before the holiday break. On the one hand, Hayden's looking forward to not having to travel. On the other hand, the thought of being home for a week straight with four children running around and hanging off of him while wired on chocolate and holiday snacks makes him tired just thinking about it.
Shane dips out of the arena, right after the game. He doesn't even pretend to go to the hotel afterward. They have an early flight. At 6am, Hayden lies in his bed, refusing to get up quite yet. Shane's bed is untouched, except for the rumpled cover that Hayden accidentally dragged off. There is a click at the door, then Shane sneaks inside, trying to tiptoe quietly across the floor.
Hayden peeks his head out from the duvet. "Good morning?" he asks.
Shane jumps. "Holy shit, I thought you were still asleep!" he says.
"Naw, I'm up," Hayden says. "Have a good night?"
"Uh, yeah, it was nice to catch up," he says. Shane clears his throat.
"With Boston Lily," Hayden says.
It takes a moment, but Shane eventually nods. "Yeah. Yeah, with her."
Hayden grins. "So, is it official?"
Shane clenches his fist, and unclenches it. Hayden waits. Shane nods again. "Yeah, I guess it is now," he says.
"Jackie wants to meet her," Hayden says. He rolls out of bed, and reaches for the shirt he tossed on the floor last night. "She says this is the year. We're going to have the two of you over for couples' dinner."
From the bathroom, Shane unzips his toiletry bag. The toothbrush in his mouth helps him avoid responding to Hayden.
Hayden gives it another shot. "Jackie says she wants to add Boston Lily to the WAGS chat," he says. "Laine's girlfriend is already in it and he just started this fall."
In the mirror, Hayden watches the blood drain from Shane's face. Shane stares at the faucet with wide, glazed eyes, and looks like he's torn between vomiting up his toothpaste or bolting from the room.
"It's not a big deal," Hayden says. He forces himself to chuckle to break the awkward silence. "She's just really curious about the girl who stole Shane Hollander's heart."
Shane spits his toothpaste out. Hard. "She's really private, okay?" he manages.
"Like, for her work?" Hayden asks. "Like a lawyer, maybe…?"
"Something like that," Shane says. He smoothes out the blanket at the foot of his bed. Then he unzips his carryon suitcase carefully, and Hayden notices his hands are shaking.
***
He texts Jackie.
Lilys the lawyer
Not even a moment later, Jackie responds. omg seriously??
Hayden: couldnt get her number Shane went all weird. But he said she's a lawyer.
Jackie replies with a kiss emoji. ngl I'm surprised, but Caitlin will be happy. She always thought Lily was the lawyer.
***
March 2018
Shane is in the showers after a home game win against Anaheim. Hayden happens to be in the changeroom when Shane's phone buzzes in his cubby. Hayden happens to sidle a little closer to see better. The phone clatters to the floor. Hayden happens to pick it up.
Across the room, Mitty is still peeling off his gear. He looks at Hayden.
Hayden glances down at the message.
two days until i kiss you *kissface*
From Boston Lily, of course.
"You know who," he tells Mitty with a wink.
"Cap has it bad for her," Mitty says.
In the parking garage, Hayden texts Jackie. Boston Lily's coming to visit Shane in 2 days
Jackie replies: Yass
Jackie: Invite them both. Day after. The 18th. I'll call the sitter. We can do dinner in if she's really private and concerned about being too public.
Jackie: So excited!! I'll cook whatever macro shit Shane wants for everyone
First thing before morning practice, Hayden jogs up to Shane in the parking garage. Their breath clouds in the frigid air. "Hey, Jackie wants to know if you're free Wednesday night. I know it's last minute."
Hayden can see the gears turning in Shane's head as he works through his schedule. His face scrunches up. "Uh…"
"Look, I know Boston Lily is coming for a visit, and Jackie really, really wants to have her and you over for dinner. We don't fly out until Thursday morning, and Jackie is desperate to meet your girl."
Shane's eyes go wide. "Uh…it's not–wait, how do you know?"
"That Lily's coming? Well, one of the guys saw a text come through on your phone," Hayden says. Better to blame the team for that little lie.
"Shit," Shane mutters. "I mean, it's–"
"Come on, dude. It would make Jackie's month!" Hayden pleads. "I promise we'll be on our best behavior. I won't tell the team anything, like if she's got a wart on her nose, or if she's married, or 95 years old!"
"She's not married!" Shane insists.
Hayden nods slowly. He'll have to slot that information away to tell Jackie asap. "Then come over. Six pm. We'll get a sitter. Just couples. It will be fun."
Shane doesn't answer.
"It'll be fun," Hayden says again. "Jackie can cook your bird food for all of us."
Shane exhaled loudly. "I'll…ask, I guess. Let's just focus on practice for now," he says. "I want to beat Boston tomorrow."
And show off for your girl! Hayden thinks. "Sure thing, Cap," he says. He gives Shane a mock salute. "Gotta make sure we trounce them."
***
"There's something you should know…" Shane starts to say. They're sitting on the bench lacing their skates. The game is in twenty minutes. Hayden noticed Shane had been texting frantically just before, and biting his lip. His face looks a bit ashen.
Hayden keeps his voice low. "About Lily?"
Shane swallows hard. "Yeah, um…" He opens his mouth, then he shakes his head. "Sorry, I–"
"What? Don't tell me she's a vegan or something. Jackie's ordered from the seafood shop in South-Central already."
Shane looks pained. He won't meet Hayden's eyes. "No, it's–it's nothing, sorry. It's just not a good idea for us to come for dinner yet. She–we're not ready. I'm really sorry."
Hayden sighs. He claps a hand on Shane's shoulder. "I know she's your special girl. We just really want to meet her. When you're ready, I guess."
Shane's shoulders sink with relief. "Thanks, Hayd," he says. "I'm really sorry about bailing."
"You can buy us a nice bottle of wine next time and make up for it," Hayden tells him.
"Well, Captain?" Taylor asks from the adjacent bench. "Speech time?"
Shane stands up. He clears his throat. The din of chatter in the dressing room sloughs off. "Alright," Shane says loudly. "First five minutes: we set the tone. Finish every hit clean. Win every race. Make Boston feel us every time they touch the puck. We've got the discipline, speed, structure, everything for the win. When the opportunity comes, we bury it."
JJ bangs his stick on the floor. "Allons-y, mademoiselles. Let's go fuck Boston!"
***
May 2018
Of course, Jackie was disappointed about Shane and Lily bailing on their dinner. Shane had the courtesy to feel bad enough about it that the next time they had him over, not only did he bring a bottle of French Bordeaux, but also a large bouquet of flowers for Jackie.
Jackie takes the bouquet. She inhales the tulips, and looks at Hayden. "This is way bigger than the flowers you got me at Valentines. Shane, you're too sweet."
"Well, you deserve it," Shane says as he toes off his shoes at the door.
"I do still want to meet your Lily," Jackie tells him. "I don't care if she's shy. Honest. Hayden and I will be completely normal and make her feel the most welcome ever."
Shane offers her a tight smile. "Yeah, it's just hard right now, I travel so much, and she does too."
Jackie shares a glance with Hayden. Interesting, Hayden thinks. Another bit of info for Jackie's mental file on Boston Lily.
"What does she do?" Jackie asks. "She's a lawyer, right?"
As if on cue, the twins run through the kitchen, screaming and waving their Moana dolls. As soon as they see Shane, they rush to grab his legs. "Uncle Shane!" Ruby shouts.
"No, my Uncle Shane!" Jade yells, clinging to Shane's other leg even tighter.
The babysitter creeps out from the family room. She mouths, "Sorry," and ushers the twins back down to the basement and out of earshot.
Jackie says, "So, where were we?" at the same time as Shane says, "I wasn't sure what kind of wine you might like tonight." Jackie laughs. "Don't worry, Shane, I've got the fridge stocked with ginger ale for you," she says. "Hope you like lentils and salmon."
Later, after Shane has left and Hayden returns from driving the babysitter home, Jackie is still awake and wiping down the kitchen counters. She tosses the cloth in the sink.
"I'm starting to get suspicious," she says.
Hayden wraps his arms around Jackie's waist. She leans back against his chest. "About what?" he asks.
"Lily. Like, are we absolutely sure she's a real person?"
Hayden laughs against Jackie's neck. "He calls her sometimes. She's definitely real."
"There's something weird. I get being cagey with your first official partner, but it's like Shane's embarrassed by her. Every question I ask, he dodges or changes the subject, or gets really weird about it."
Hayden shrugs. "Yeah, but if she's a lawyer, then maybe it's really weird for her, or something. I don't know."
Jackie turns around. "Hayd, no one has met her," she says.
Hayden shrugs again.
"No one has spoken to her."
"No," Hayden agrees.
"Just Shane."
"Right."
"I'm not sure it's that she's a lawyer, or married, or really private. I think she might be a guy," Jackie says quietly.
Hayden blinks. "What?" He's not sure he heard Jackie right.
Jackie continues. "What if Lily…was a guy?"
Hayden shakes his head. "Shane is definitely not gay."
"Are you sure? Like, 100% absolutely sure?" she asks.
"He dated Rose Landry!"
Jackie folds her arms over her chest. She raises a dark eyebrow at him. "Yeah. For barely a month."
Hayden stares at Jackie. His wife may have finally lost the plot. Four children was too many. Sure, Shane is socially awkward and not into clubbing like JJ, sure he turns down all of Hayden's offers to set him up with Jackie's hot yoga friends, but that doesn't mean he skates for the other team. Shane isn't like Scott Hunter–not that there's anything wrong with that! Last week, Shane checked out the boob pics that some fan sent Couillard on instagram, and Shane said they were hot. If Shane is gay, Hayden would know. Why would Jackie even suggest that?
"I just don't think he's gay," Hayden says. "I've known him for ages, Jac. He's not getting hard in the showers with us after the games or anything."
Jackie sighs. "Well, there's something odd about Lily. And not just Shane being Shane about it."
Hayden sighs right back at her. "You WAGS are determined to find something, aren't you?" he asks.
Jackie presses a dry kiss to his lips. "I'm going to be the first one to meet Boston Lily, Hayd. I swear. Shane can't hide her forever."
***
July 2018
JJ comes into the dressing room shaking his head. "Did you 'ear the crazy news?" he asks.
Hayden shakes his head. "Nope."
"Rozanov was traded to Ottawa! I cannot believe it," JJ says.
Roy shakes his head. "No, you must have read it wrong," he says.
JJ waves his phone out. "Look here. It's on the Sportsnet. 'Rozanov signs with Ottawa Centaurs.'"
"Shit," Mitty says.
"I always thought he was an asshole, but clearly he's an idiot too," Hayden says. "Why would anyone sign with Ottawa?"
"They can afford him, but they suck balls." JJ gestures with his hands.
"Literally," Berkes adds.
They all laugh.
"I thought Boston would sign him again for sure," JJ says.
Shane walks into the dressing room with the coach. They must have just had a pre-training meeting.
"Did you hear, Capitaine?" JJ asks.
"Hear what?" Shane asks.
JJ flashes his phone in Shane's face. "Your enemy Rozanov is joining the Centaurs. I cannot believe it."
Shane blinks. "Oh," he says. His lip twitches. "That's…"
"Stupid, I know!" JJ finishes for him. "Even Chicago, or Pittsburgh, yeah okay, but Ottawa? They are terrible!"
Shane frowns at the article on JJ's phone. "I heard Ottawa was supposed to be up and coming. I guess they must have offered him a pot of money?"
"Up and coming in twenty years, maybe," Hayden says. He snorts. "I always knew that guy was dumb. He's never going to win anything again with Ottawa."
"Better for us, then!" JJ says with a grin. He high-fives Hayden, then holds his hand out to Shane. After a beat, Shane returns his high-five limply.
***
September 2018
Pre-season starts in a week. Jackie and Hayden have Shane over to pre-celebrate.
Shane is uncharacteristically late, by twenty minutes. "Sorry," he says. "I was stuck in traffic."
"Traffic?" Hayden asks. "From your place?"
"I, uh, was in Ottawa actually," he says.
"Visiting your folks?" Jackie asks.
Shane nods. "Yeah," he says.
"Yuna and David all good?" Hayden asks.
Shane nods again. "Same as ever. Looking forward to seeing us play next week." He flexes his hands at his sides. There's a bead of sweat on his temple, and he looks a little nauseous.
"Okay, bud?" Hayden asks. He gives Shane a long look.
Shane averts his eyes. "Yeah," he says.
"Ginger ale?" Hayden asks.
Shane nods. "That'd be great, thanks," he says, stiffly.
They sit down on the couch as Jackie plates the kale and lentils. Not exactly appetizing, Hayden thinks, but it's Shane, so he'll choke down the kale tonight for his friend.
"Lamaire's still out," Hayden says. "He really fucked up his arm last season."
"Hayden," Jackie says.
Hayden waves his hand. "Yeah, I know, swearing," he says. "I wonder if he'll end up retiring early."
"He was drafted the same year as me," Shane says. He sounds more like a robot than usual. He takes a sip of his ginger ale. He shakes his knee, almost nervously, as they gossip about the upcoming season.
At the table, Hayden looks at the pile of kale on his plate. "Rabbit food for friends," he tells Shane.
"It has vitamin A," Shane says. "It's good for you." He pushes it around his plate. Even he doesn't seem sold on Jackie's miso-dressed kale salad tonight.
"It gives me the shits," Hayden says. "The janitor's gonna kill me for blowing up the bathroom tomorrow."
Jackie rolls her eyes. "Hayd, don't be gross."
Hayden looks at her. What?
Jackie narrows her eyes. "We have polite company!" she hisses.
Shane pushes his kale around some more. He stares at it like it's sprouted wings. His brow is furrowed.
"Is the kale…okay?" Jackie says.
Shane's fork suddenly clatters on his plate. Out of nowhere, he blurts out, "I'm gay."
The silence rings in Hayden's ears. He stares at Shane. His mouth hangs open. Somewhere in the vague distance, the fridge hums.
"I–I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," Shane says. The words fall out of his mouth, and just keep coming. "I wanted to, but–" He shakes his head. "It just…I wanted to tell you first, before I tell the team." He looks at Hayden, and his eyes are damp. "You're my friend," he says, almost a question, as though that might change forever.
"You're gay?" Hayden manages.
Shane nods. Tears prick the corners of his eyes.
Jackie stands up and grabs Shane into a hug. "Oh, Shane," she says. She holds him tight for a moment. "I'm so glad you felt comfortable and safe enough to tell us," she says. Over Shane's shoulder, she gives Hayden a pointed look.
Hayden nods. What do you say when your straight best friend suddenly tells you he's actually gay? "Yeah, I'm glad you told us," he says. Awkwardly, he pats Shane on the arm. "That's a tough thing."
Shane sniffs. He wipes the corners of his eyes with his fingers. "Thanks," he says. "It means a lot."
"This just…happened recently?" Hayden asks.
"Hayden!" Jackie glares at him.
Hayden shrugs.
"No, uh, it's been awhile," Shane says. "Forever, probably."
Jackie pours herself another glass of wine, nearly to the brim. "That's crazy. You had to keep it to yourself this whole time," she says.
"The MLH isn't exactly supportive of it," Shane says.
"Crowell seems okay with Scott Hunter," Hayden offers.
"Maybe to the public. But Gagnon called him a faggot before the last Admirals game we played."
Hayden says nothing. He doesn't remember anything about it. But it never entered his radar before.
Jackie squeezes Shane's hand. "Well, unlike Gagnon, we are not homophobes here," she says. She squeezes Hayden's hand with her left. A little too tight.
Hayden nods. "Naw, we're good," Hayden agrees. "Just a bit…"
"Shocked?" Shane asks.
"Surprised," Jackie says for both of them. "But we're here for you, Shane."
Shane's shoulders sink with relief.
Hayden takes a long swig of wine. Shane takes a long gulp of ginger ale. From the basement, there's a shout from Jade, followed by high-pitched laughter from several children.
"Wait. So…does that mean Boston Lily was…a guy?" Hayden asks.
"Uh, yeah," Shane admits. "Yeah, he's a guy."
"Wow," Hayden says. "This whole time?"
"Yeah," Shane says again.
Jackie kicks Hayden's ankle under the table. Her eyes flash with an I told you so!
***
October 2018
Boston is their first away game of the season. The other guys are still pretty wary around Shane. Hayden notices that Berkes gives Shane a wide berth in the dressing room, and Comeau refuses to pass the puck to Shane in the second period. JJ won't look Shane in the eye, but Andropov is a real homophobe: when Hayden gets into the elevator with him at the Boston hotel, Andropov looks at Hayden and says, "Glad I'm not sharing a room with that fag. Better watch your asshole, Pike."
Hayden shoves Andropov hard into the wall of the elevator when the door opens. "Don't talk about your Captain like that!" he hisses.
Thankfully, Shane seems oblivious to the worst of the comments behind his back. He's too busy on his phone. Hayden tries to be the supportive ally, but it feels weird sometimes.
In the hotel room, Shane rolls his carryon into the corner beside the bed on the right side, like always. Hayden flops down onto the left bed, like always. Shane's fingers fly across his phone.
"Hot date with Lily?" Hayden asks.
Shane's face goes blank when he looks up. "Uh, no," he says.
"Oh," Hayden says. He grabs the tv remote. Maybe she's–he's–busy? "Well, I'm putting the Food channel on whether you like or it not. Gotta catch up on my Bobby Flay when the kids aren't around," Hayden says.
Shane unzips his carryon and pulls out a book. A book! "Okay," he says. Hayden cranes his neck to see the book. A biography of Bobby Orr. Figures.
When Shane pads into the bathroom before their team dinner, his phone buzzes on the bed. Hayden does happen to glance at the name that pops up on the screen.
Lily: *kissface kissface* say hi to Marlow for me
Weird, Hayden thinks. Maybe Lily has a thing for hockey players. Maybe Lily thinks Marlow is hot?
He texts Jackie: is Boston Marlow hot?
Jackie replies with a laughing emoji. Are you suddenly gay too?
Then: Yeah, he's hot. In a dumb jock way.
Then: But I like you best. You've got the hottest ass in the league. *kiss face*
***
After he returns from the away game in Philadelphia, the twins insist Hayden take them to the Biodome.
"Mommy needs a break," Jackie says. "Maybe invite Shane? He likes going there with you guys."
Hayden texts Shane. Wanna see some penguins tomorrow? At the biodome, not the Pittsburgh ones.
Shane replies: Can't. Sorry. In Ottawa right now.
Shane sends another text right away: With my parents.
Hayden frowns at his phone. "Okay," he mutters under his breath. Didn't Shane just see his parents a week and a half ago at the home game opener?
Hayden texts back: everything ok with yuna and david?
Shane replies with a thumbs up.
Hayden thinks about showing Jackie the conversation. Jackie always reads between the lines better than him. But then Jade grabs his arm and drags him to the doorway, shouting "Penguins penguins PENGUINS, DADDY!"
***
The next week, Ottawa is in town for a game.
"It'll be an easy win, ladies," JJ shouts in the dressing room before the game. "They're a bunch of pussies! Mitty, you won't even need to be in goal!"
Mitty clips his helmet on. "Rozanov might still try to score," he says.
"He's the only good player," Laine says. "The rest are a bunch of fa–losers."
"I won't let him get the puck," Shane says. His jaw is clenched.
"And the rest of their line won't know what to do with it anyway," Hayden says.
In the second period, Hayden has the puck. Rozanov comes for him, and slams him into the boards. "Your team sucks!" Hayden spits out.
"You still suck," Rozanov shouts as he skates away with the puck. Shane comes at him from the side, and their sticks clash over the puck. Hayden rushes over for a pass from Shane. Rozanov pivots, and sends the puck flying over to his leftwinger instead.
"Can't even find the puck, Pike. Are you blind?" he asks.
"Fuck you!" Hayden says through his teeth.
"You wish!"
On the bench after the second period, Hayden takes a swig from his water bottle. Montreal is up two nothing. "I hate that guy," he tells Shane. "He puts on a Cens jersey and acts like he's still the king of the fucking league. Buddy, you're on the worst team in the league! You're the king of the losers now!"
Hayden looks over to the Centaurs' box. Their coach is gesturing down the ice, and then to Rozanov. Rozanov glares in Shane's direction. Hayden is tempted to flip him the bird, but he still has his gloves on.
Shane chews on his mouthguard. He gives Hayden a funny look.
Hayden sighs. "I know, I know. Jackie says I should be nicer and set an example for the kids. But Rozanov's still an asshole. And now he's an asshole on a shit team."
Shane moves his mouthguard to the other side. "He probably has his reasons for going to Ottawa," he says.
"Yeah, money!" Hayden says. "Guess I can't say I blame him for that."
Before the puckdrop in third period, Rozanov glides past Shane and bumps into his side. Whatever he says, Shane must be annoyed, because Hayden skates up to Shane's left side and Shane's jaw is clenched.
"We got this," Hayden tells him.
Rozanov skates lazy circles nearby, waiting for the ref.
Hayden glares at him. Rozanov blows a raspberry his way.
"You like being captain of the losers?" Hayden asks.
Rozanov sneers at him. "Better than fifteenth best player on a good team!"
Hayden starts to lunge at Rozanov, but JJ pulls him back. "Don't, dude," he says.
In the dressing room, Hayden throws his gloves on the bench. It was another easy win. Against a shit team, it never feels as sweet, though Hayden had a great assist to Laine's goal in the fourth period. He stomps his way out to the parking garage, and cranks up his music extra loud on the drive home. Nothing like Kendrick Lamar on full blast to feel a little less annoyed.
Hayden dumps his backpack on the floor by the door. Jackie walks out of the family room to see him. Before he leans in for a kiss, she grabs his backpack and hangs it up. She hisses, "Can you be any louder? I just got Amber back down to sleep."
"Nice to see you, too," he tells her.
Jackie kisses him. "You seem tense. What's up?"
"I hate that asshole so much," Hayden says.
"Who?"
"Rozanov," Hayden says. "Didn't you watch?"
"Only a bit. Amber's molars are bothering her."
"Oh, right."
"What was he saying this time?" Jackie asks. "Can't you just ignore him? He's just angry his team always loses."
"He called me the fifteenth-best player on the team," Hayden says.
Jackie clicks her tongue. "You guys are all like children. And even if you're only the fifteenth-best player in Montreal, I'd still rather tap you," she says, as she prods her index finger into his chest. "Than his borscht-eating Russian ass."
She kisses him again, and slides her tongue into his mouth. Hayden slides his hands down over her butt.
"Thanks, babe," he says.
Jackie smiles at him. "He probably smells, too."
Hayden digs his fingers into the soft flesh of her butt. Jackie rubs her hands over his shoulders.
"I love you," he says.
"I know," she says.
***
After another day off, Shane walks into the practice centre with bags under his eyes.
"Alright, Captain?" Comeau asks.
Shane nods.
Hayden plunks down next to him on the bench. "You look like shit, dude. You really should try drinking coffee once in a while."
"I don't like it," Shane says. "It's a diuretic. Green tea is better. It has more antioxidants." He yawns, and Hayden laughs at him.
"What were you doing? Up all night plotting gameplays?"
Shane shakes his head. In his cubby, his phone buzzes with an incoming text.
Boston Lily, Hayden thinks.
Shane smiles to himself for the briefest moment. "Uh.. just, uh, I drove to Kingston to see an old friend. From my junior days." Shane scratches the side of his neck, just below his hairline
"Cool," Hayden says. He doesn't mention the hickey on Shane's neck.
***
Shane seems to be visiting his parents a lot. He visits them the next week, and after the home game against Detroit on Saturday afternoon, Hayden walks out to the parking garage with Shane. Shane always parks in the same spot. He's a creature of habit. Shane slides his backpack into his trunk, beside a carryon suitcase.
"Going on a trip?" Hayden asks. He nods to the carryon.
Shane looks away. "Just Ottawa," Shane says. "To see my parents for the night."
"Is Yuna missing you extra these days?" Hayden asks, trying to keep it light, on the off chance that maybe Yuna or David are sick. Comeau's dad died during playoffs, so Hayden tries to tread lightly.
Shane nods. "They're good," he says. He jingles his keys in his hand and presses the remote starter.
Hayden takes the hint and waves him off.
Back home, he tells Jackie.
Jackie juggles Amber on one hip, and Arthur on the other. Arthur wipes a faceful of snot on Jackie's shoulder. "Can you…" She holds him toward Hayden, who gets the drift, and picks him up.
"Maybe he's got a mystery guy there?" Jackie offers.
"Yeah, but he's still texting Boston Lily all the time. It's weird, since he didn't even hook up with Lily when we were there last time," Hayden says.
"Maybe Lily's in Ottawa now," Jackie says.
"Who's in Ottawa?" Jade asks.
"Just Uncle Shane," Jackie tells her.
Hayden gives Jackie a look. Jackie raises her eyebrows. "People do move," she says. "Maybe Boston Lily moved there."
They each set a kid down at the table, where Jackie has a spread of goldfish out. She and Hayden watch them from the other side of the kitchen island. Jackie has a quizzical look on her face.
"What?" Hayden asks.
"Hockey players move," she says.
"Yeah…" Hayden says. He's not entirely sure where she's going with this.
"What if Boston Lily–wait, when did Shane start going to Ottawa all the time?"
Hayden shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe a couple months ago? Start of the pre-season?"
Jackie plays with a strand of dark hair. "Hm," she says.
"Why? What are you scheming now?"
"Same time that Ilya Rozanov would have moved there," she says.
"What does that assh–"
"Language!" She jerks her head toward the children.
"What does he have to do with anything?" Hayden whispers.
Jackie gives him a look. She lets Hayden process the thought, slowly. His eyes widen. "Why would–no!" Hayden says. "No–that's–no."
"The timing works," Jackie says. "I'm not saying he is, but he could be."
"No," Hayden insists. "Shane's been hooking up with Lily for years. There's no way he's been hooking up with–ugh, Ilya Rozanov this whole time. No way. I know Shane. He hates Rozanov."
You didn't know he was gay, though, a little voice reminds him.
"It would explain a lot," Jackie tells him. "Like why Shane's suddenly in Ottawa visiting his "parents" when they drive to Montreal to watch him here. Why he came home from visiting a friend in Kingston and he had a hickey. Why he's suddenly not seeing Lily in Boston."
Hayden shakes his head. His stomach churns at the thought. "No, there's no way. Lily is probably some boring, normal dude. Government maybe. A perfectly boring dude for Shane."
"Maybe. Or Ilya Rozanov. Lily, Ilya…"
Hayden sighs and shakes his head. "Jac, sometimes you are too much," he tells her.
***
Jackie is awake and sitting in bed, scrolling on her phone the next morning. Hayden reaches across the sheets for her hand. Jackie threads her fingers through his.
"I was thinking," she says.
"At this hour?" Hayden mumbles.
"Remember when Shane was knocked out? Two seasons ago?"
Hayden groans into the pillow.
"And when we got to the hospital to see him, Yuna Hollander told us that Rozanov apparently went to see him there?"
"Captains do that sometimes, Jac," Hayden says. "Even asshole ones like Rozanov." He doesn't mention that he saw Rozanov in the hospital corridor too.
"It got me thinking…"
Hayden groans again.
"So I pulled up a Youtube video from that game."
"It's six-thirty in the morning!"
Jackie ignores him. "Anyway, I pulled up a video from that game, since I only remember that you got into a bad fight with Marlow–the one that split your lip."
Hayden grunts.
"Look at this. I know you think I'm nuts for thinking Lily is Ilya Rozanov, but I think I'm onto something. Look at Rozanov's reaction here, right after Shane goes down. He's just standing there in shock. Like, that's what I would do if you were knocked out." Jackie pauses the video, and replays it. Hayden winces at the sight of Marlow ploughing into Shane, then Shane careening across the ice. The smacking echo of Shane's helmet crunching on the ice makes Hayden cringe viscerally.
Hayden looks away from Jackie's phone. "You're reading way, way too much into this," he tells her.
"No," Jackie says. She pauses the video. "That–that look there is the look of someone who's crushed by the fear of their loved one being dead. Rozanov looks like he's seeing a ghost. He looks like a little kid. I almost feel sorry for him."
"He's an asshole, Jackie, not Shane's Lily," Hayden says. "And definitely not what I want to be thinking about at this hour." He reaches for her phone, but she moves it away from him.
Jackie hits play again. "See here, Hayd? See how he doesn't move when the ref yells at him? He doesn't even move when Connors skates over and tries to get him to the Boston bench." She chews on her bottom lip. "I really think I'm onto something."
Hayden shakes his head at her, but there's no point in arguing with Jackie at this hour. "You just want to figure out who Lily is and add him to your WAGS chat group," he tells her.
"Maybe," she says. "It would certainly spice up the chat."
***
Hayden thinks Jackie has completely lost the plot, and yet…something nags at the back of Hayden's mind. They play in Boston again, and once again, Shane stays in the hotel room the whole time, actually joining Hayden to watch an episode of Love Island. During commercials, Hayden flicks his gaze to Shane's bed. Shane's got his glasses on, and he's chewing on the strings of his hoodie as he reads his phone screen. Hayden stands up and announces he's going to the bathroom. Shane doesn't even look up.
Sure enough, Hayden catches sight of a message that says you played well cant wait to see you tomorrow *kissface*
It's definitely Lily. And tomorrow they fly home early, so Lily is definitely not in Boston.
Hayden stews on it during the flight in the morning. He stares at Shane out of the corner of his eye, across the airplane aisle. He wracks his brain, trying to remember all the times they've played Boston and Rozanov. Did Shane ever act weird? Did he ever try to lose a faceoff? Rozanov looked upset at the hospital, but Russians always look angry or upset. Hooking up with your archrival wouldn't make any sense.
Hayden flicks his eyes back to Shane. Shane has his earbuds in his ears and his eyes closed. His phone sits on the traytable, the screen black and silent.
In the airport parking lot, Hayden and Shane walk out to their vehicles together. They are far enough away from their other teammates that no one would hear. Hayden takes a deep breath.
"Hey, can I ask you something?" he asks. "You know your mystery man, Boston Lily? You used to always meet up with him, but now you don't."
Shane's pace falters a half-step. "Uh. We…broke up," Shane says quickly. Hayden isn't convinced, especially when Shane won't meet his eye.
"Uh huh. But you've been driving to Ottawa a lot recently," Hayden tells him.
"My parents live there. I've been visiting."
Visiting and coming back with hickeys. Hayden considers mentioning the unbroken stream of text conversations that Shane has been having, but he stops himself. "Your parents have always lived there, and they drive to Montreal to see you all the time. So, I have another theory. I think Boston Lily is Ilya Rozanov." Hayden keeps his tone light. He can barely believe he's said it aloud. It's a joke, really. Because Jackie has got to be wrong about this.
Shane keeps walking, all the way up to Hayden's BMW SUV. His long exhale clouds in the frozen air. He swallows hard, and nods once.
Hayden can feel the blood drain from his face and pool in his gut. "Holy fuck," he mutters. "I was joking. Are you…" He shakes his own head. "Are you for real doing…stuff…with Rozanov?"
Shane stands beside Hayden's SUV. "Yes," he says.
Hayden shakes his head. "Wait, seriously? Did he sign with Ottawa just to be close to you?"
Shane is completely serious and deadpan. "Yes, that's one reason."
Hayden stretches out both hands and leans on the hood of his SUV. He lets out a long whistle. "Fuck, Shane, this is not good, buddy," he says. He can't stop shaking his head.
Shane just stares at him, expressionless, as though he's looking somewhere far off beyond Hayden. "It's not…ideal," Shane admits. "But I love him."
Hayden stares back for a long moment. He isn't sure who this Shane is, standing right across from, admitting to being in love with Ilya fucking Rozanov. He looks like Hayden's best friend, Shane Hollander, but Hayden's best friend wouldn't be sneaking around with his archrival for years, would he? Jackie seemed to think it was a possibility. There must be something redeeming about Rozanov, even if Hayden can't think of any reasons right now. The silent tension stretches longer.
Finally, Hayden nods. "Well, I think I need to meet him properly then," Hayden says.
Whatever is strung up inside Shane releases. His blank face starts to leak at the corners of his eyes. Hayden's stomach sinks lower. It's awkward as hell, but he hugs Shane. "Bud, I don't get it, but I'm still your best friend. I'm here for you."
"Thanks," Shane says. Shane sniffs and glances away. "Maybe the next time we play Ottawa, you and Jackie can come over for dinner and meet him."
A smile quirks at the side of Hayden's mouth. "Only if you serve something other than bird food," he says.
Shane laughs.
***
Hayden gets home, and immediately goes to his trophy room. He pulls a bottle of whisky from the locked cabinet. One of the expensive ones that he bought after winning their first cup.
Hayden pours himself a glass. He slumps down in his leather recliner and takes a big swig. The whisky burns his throat, and Jackie finds him choking on it.
"That bad of a flight?" she asks.
Hayden shakes his head. "No, it's…fuck." He chews on the words in his mouth before he finally spits them out. "You were right."
"About what?"
"About Shane. And Ilya Rozanov. Fuck–I can't even!"
"He told you?" Jackie sits down on the matching loveseat across from Hayden. Her slack-jawed face reflects in the glass door of the trophy cabinet.
"I asked him-as a joke–and you know Shane. He told me flat out that he's with Rozanov. That way."
"Wow," Jackie says. "Damn. I mean, it made sense, but I was half-joking."
"It's a lot to process," Hayden says. "All these years, Jac!"
Jackie sighs. "It can't have been easy, sneaking around like that. Poor Shane. No wonder he's so tense sometimes. We need to be supportive."
"I don't approve!" Hayden insists. "I hate the guy. He's an asshole."
"You and I met at a club and we hooked up the first night, Hayd," Jackie tells him. "You don't exactly have the moral high road."
Hayden takes another drink, and chokes it down. "God, this is disgusting!" he mutters. "We're going to get together for dinner when Ottawa's in town next. Meet Rozanov for real."
"Good, I look forward to it," Jackie says. "We're Shane's friends. We are there for him." She picks up her phone from the adjacent cushion on the loveseat.
"But don't–"
"I'm not texting the chat," she tells him. "Don't worry. I don't think the WAGS could handle that information."
***
Two weeks later
They drive out to Brossard, to Shane's place. He bought it last year in an upscale neighbourhood ten minutes away from the training centre. It's a new-built, boxy modernist house with big, rectangular windows and more bedrooms than Shane can possibly fill with trophies. Yuna probably bought the big planter of greenery that sits on his front porch.
Hayden pulls the BMW into Shane's driveway. He looks over at Jackie and takes a deep breath.
"We are supportive and open-minded," Jackie says. It's their mantra tonight. She pats his hand.
Hayden nods. "We are supportive and open-minded," Hayden repeats.
Jackie opens the passenger door. Her ankle boot heels click on the pavement. "We are supportive and open-minded," she reminds Hayden, a little louder.
"It's Ilya Rozanov," Hayden mutters under his breath as they walk up the porch steps.
"And Shane is our friend," Jackie says. "There must be something he sees in him."
"Witchcraft," Hayden hisses. "Or Stockholm Syndrome."
With a heavy sigh, he rings the doorbell. It chimes three times. There's motion on the other side of the doorway, then the door swings open. Standing in the foyer of Shane's house with a smile on his face is Ilya Rozanov.