Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS DRDIGERTZ: ACE COLABERATION

PHOENIX WRIIIIGHT: TURNABOUT FITE 4 DA SCHOOL

CHAPTER 1 BY BARRYLAWN

one day littlenix was at class wit his teacher ron juiccey ace teacher

"alrite clas so now we gona do fisical education wich is pe wich is sport wich is where we run around and get swetty because we doin de blepe test which maeks us swetty cause were tired cause we run" said ron juicy the teacher

"ughhhhhhhhhhhh" moan the class who wer tired of teh test befor tehy even got tired from it becaus sweat

phenix was experiencally tired cause he failed it evry time becaus he always got tired wich meant he had to drop and fale

the class went to teh locker area to get der sportsy cloths but phoenix got delayed cause he tripped up by teh local scumfuck mark sananus who didnt actually get expelled Bcaus teeachers there are dumb

howevr wen he got up ther was one shady lookin guy and he was at dis sexy grils locker lookin perferted and suspickyas

"hey u" shouted nick "bak away from sexygrils locker or i beet u up caus thats wat all her bois do to impress her an ten she date him but tehn she dump them in the end!"

"AHH i can assure u im doin NOTHIN suspicious mr pheonanix wright"

"then WHY R U AT SEXYGRILS LOCKER"

"o im just putting in dis luv leter in a ball to show my love and effection 4 her"

"dat luks like bomb" saidphenix because there were 4 letters on teh side and they spelled out "B O M M"

"OHHHH uhhhhhhhhhm ok fuk its a bom"

"but y are u putting it in sexygirls loker, ar u gonna BLOW IT UP?!"

"no becaus dats for EVIIIIL people and im not an EEEEVIL person so obvsly its for luv and trust and effection and atraction and sex"

"o ok"

phenix left teh loveboi to get dump by sexygril he was alreddy planin on stalkin him and record him getin dump and save it for blackmale so he could show him where he got bomb case when he heard BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM AND HE TERNED AROUND

AND THERE WAS A HOLE IN TEH WALL AND SEXYGRIL WAS CRYIN CAUSE HER PHONE AND MISIC AND GRILLY STUFF WERE BOOMED!

"WTF MAN" shouted phoenix "U SAID YU WUDNT BLOW IT UP"

"i lied" said man

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THAT IS PERJURY, SO U IS GOIN TO JAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL"

and he pheonix BOUNCED AT MAN WITH HIS LEG STRETCH OUT AT HIM

the man got hit to the grond by photixs AWSOME ninja battle moves

"ngthththnnnnnnnttttttt u beeted me phenix" groaned him in defeet sins he lost the fight

"why r u terrerising our scooooool" shouted phenix

"BECUAS" shouted the man putting hand to his face "I MUST DEFEET U B4 U DEFEETS MEA!" and he pulled off his mask and it was SOME OLD GUY

"MANFRED VON KARMAN?!" shouted phoenix he must hav heard bout him on teh news or maybe he esper like everone in zero escap from prisoon

"yes ull never defeet MAH PERFECT RECORD"

karmattah pulled out da taseratta and he went phor phoenickatta

BUT RON JOICE CAME DOWN FROM DE CEILING AND KICK IT OPEN FROM HIS HAND

"JOYCEY" shouted phenix "LOOKOUT HES GOTTA GUN!"

"no i dont" said karma

"oh oops wait wtf why u bring bombs but not gun"

"NNGNNNNNGH DIS IS IMPREFECT RETREATTT FOR GUNS" shouted karma and ten the wall BLASTED APART and standin there was HENTRIETA, TEH VILAN FROM PROFESOR LAYTON AND THE MYSTROUS NAME!

"com on grand dad we gotta goe!" shooted henrietta and they got in flying uFO and flow awai!

"dont let em get away" shouted joycy and tehy ran out after him

TO BE CONTINUED BY DRDIGGING

A/M tanks 4 redin tis first chapter, it is 2 be continued by teh equaly great drdiggerz, so b hype 4 tat

Chapter Text

chapter 2

"wat da fuckls" [A/N its okaaay 2 swear in dis fic, cuz its a colab] sys foenix. "de ruum gut blown up hand ur hear now" sys doktor hotti. phoenix wuz in de hotti clinic. "wat, how did u rescuse me?!" asks phoenix. "lol de doctors know everythong" [Reade Wesley Stickler Ace Schoolboi]. "well thank u 4 de help, weres ron?" sys phoenix.

"hmm he wont 2 von karmas castel, yes" sys hotti. "wat. y he gut a castleys?!" sys foenix. "prosekutors git payed!" hand hotti throws him outtata de door. "kay, ill juice askey edgeworthy wear de castle is" thinks foenix. "eeeeeeeeey were de castel at edgey?" sys poenix. "its in KUUUUURAAAAAAAAAIN" scrims edgey.

"alwright" and phoenix wuz in kurain.

foenix wlakls aroond kurain until he foundeys teh castles. dey SECYGRIL wuz outsieds. "U bLUE uP mE lUUUUUKEEEEER!" she scrims. "dafuq juice openy de dooooor!" and phoenix pushes de door opn. inside IT WAS LIEK A BOSWERS CSATLES! "i piked up sum deoration tips frum poooortaaaaals" keks von karuma. phoenix wuz guna jump arooond and stuf but drdigertz hadont wrote "Phoenix Wright Ace Plumber" yet.

"damn we stu\ck, wat we dooooo?!" scrims phoenix. "ders absolutely no need 2 be stu\ck" sys juicey hand he jumps dem over de lava n' stuff. "haaaaa, ull nevar git de axe behindls me. becaaaaaaaause ive gut dis REVOOOOOONGE GAIIIIIIII!" and simon cleany jumpls outta de wall. "AFREEECA BOMBED PARIIIIIS, LIEK IMMA BOMB U" hand dey all die.

"damn gud thing i gut dat 1-up sys phoenix" hand dey all came black 2 life. "OH NOES WE THE BLACK" so dey suicide bombed cleany harderer then he suicide bombed dem. "wat is dis BS, ur manfred is in anoter castle" manfred did de runs. "AFTOR HIIIIIM" scrims juicey and SEXYGRIL throws handbaggles at his feet.

ufffgh and von karma flals over. "u've losted, gib dis SEXYGRIL money 4 her loker" sys foenix. "nuuuuu, I HAB A PERFECT RECOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD" srims manfriendzone so hard he objectled them in2 prison. "now u is de guilty" sys manfred.

and cuz dey will be in khurain dey were killed. phoenix straltled cring cuz he wu z in hell hand dere isn't a "Phoenix Wright escaaaps from Heeeeeeell".

de next ch will be barryshort

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT ESCAPS FROM HEEEEEEEEEELL

CHAPTER 3

"WAAAAWAAAWAAAWAAAWAAAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWA" cried pheonix becaus he was in hell prisone atfer menfrad objected 2 him and he and juicy got sent 2 person and ten tey die becuas kurain an thye wer in hell (phenix stole teh old ladys kitten so he was bad)

phoenix criiiiied becaus he was trap but then he notice he wasnt trap anymore becaus his tears put out teh fire tat was holding him in hell prison "wow ok tat was very eazy" said nick leaving teh hell of prison behind him

but then he realize it was hopeless becaus h ewas in heeeeeeeeeeeeeell which is a afterdeath place so he cant go to life

"DAM U KARAMA!" shouted nick but then light pierced the hell and some angel came down

IT WAS JUICY JUICY

"JUICY?! SHIT MAN I THOUGHT U DIE"

"i did but i didnt steal cats which means im good person so i went to heavn i dont evn know why im stil talking to u now tat i know YOUR THE DEVIL!"

"NOOOO" screamed nicka nd he put is hands together "o holy father who did art in heaven, IM SORRY OK?!"

"ok"

god okayed him and the light picked him up and the devil tail of evil disappeared and he lost his horns too and his skin wasnt red any more so he was a human except not an angel BECAUS HE WAS ALIVE AND SO WAS JUICY

"JUICY WE GOTTA GO"

phoenix ran up the stairs to the exit door and opened it and THEY WERE BACK IN AMERICA

"wow so thats were the after life is" said phoenix and he turn but the door was gone "o damn ok"

they walk away unaware of the secret villain laughin to temselfs

"ha ha ha now tat pheonix and juicy are alive MY PLAN WIL SUCSEED AAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA O NO I SPILLED TEA ON MY PERFECT SHIRT- I MEAN SHHHHH" damn who could it be i guess we beter call him or her THE MYSTERIOUS MASTERMIND

phoenix and juicy ran back to school BUT IT WAS TAKEN OOOOOOOOOOOVER

"O SHIT" shouted phenix "WHO IS RESPOSSIBLE FOR DIS?"

and ten dark figoore appeer in the roof

IT WAS KH'ILL YAUSEFF AND HE WAS AAAAANGRY!

"BLAWLWAL I GOWWA KIWW WOU" teh shity little boi tried to spit out but his words flew evrywhere and he cried becaus he was 69 yeers old but hadnt aged mentally, so he was liek a 4 yeer old pretending to b villin

"HA HA HA HA" laughed joycy "lets kill him phoenix"

"ok"

phoenix and joycy stormed the school and thy gather up teh students and got tehm into a luiginary stack and they busted throuw the walls crushing von karma and henriettas minions as the went and

"HA HA WES UNBEETABLE" laughed juicy

they got up 2 teh roof and kh'ill yauseff was there (A/N not evn i understand de name som1 tel mi in teh reviews)

"AAHAHAHAHA" laugh yauseff like a badly acted evil man "now mah mastah plan is ummmm complete"

"how" said pheenix

"BECAWS U GUEES AR HEWE, SOWW UWWWHHHHHHH..."

"HA" laughed phoenix and he punch the kidboy in the face and yauseff tried to fite back but was suffering from mental retardation so he just got on teh floor and moaned like baby

"ha" laughed huicy "im feelin generes 2day so i think ill kill u" and he shot the boy dead

"AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH" laughed a voice and HENRIETTA APPEARERD OVER THE ROOF "tat was a trap, tat boi was so stupid teh grand evil teacher of evil was couldnt com out caus she tought he would give her cancer, BUT NOW RISE EVIL DEMON!"

THE ROOF CRUMBLED AND THE EVIL TEECHER CAME OUT

AND SHE STARTED BITCHING AT HENRIETTA BECAUS SHE WAS TALKING IN ENGLISH!

"HENRETTA, YOU ARE A LOWER LEVEL STUDENT SO U ARE INFERIOR" roared her

"GASSSSSSSSSSSSP" gasped juicy "THAT VOICE! IT IT IT IT CANT BE!"

WHO IS THIS TEACH OF EVIL?

TO BE ANSWERED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

turnabout kek owens

chapter 4

juicy wuz besy criing on de fluur cuz de teach was 2 scary4him. hanriotta put a dunce hat on hand sat in teh cornre. "bee carful nick, DATS DE TEACH FROM HEEEEEEELLL". "we juist escaaaapd from der tho, dat aint skary enough" sys phoenix,

"naht dat hell HEEEELLLL. when de bad peps in hell die dey go 2 HEEELLLLLL" criis ron "HAND SHE WAS MY TEAAAAACH". "U IS LOWER LEVEL AND INFERIOR RON, GO IN2 DE CORNER" scrims de teaaach. "wat, i've met teachs b4, dis aint tough" keks phoenix. "YOU JUST DONT APRESIATE MY TEAAAAACHING" she yellz at foenix.

"lel ur no oldienne teach" fenix trys 2 laugh bu he wuz rly scared.

"Yeh, IM MRS KEK OWENS" she scrims.

"Yeh, IM HER TEACHERZ PET" scrims Tommi O'Neil, a fat blak kid u can forget aboot. "YAS foenix, nuw u must study sceince until u higher!" sys kek owens. "I daant git it" sys phoenix. "hmmm... well dats y a teach has her teach asssistaaaants!"

"den CLEANY AND GANT JUMPED OUTTA BEHIND HEEEEER"wat we gut here Cleany?" sum unlerned kids. "yeh" keks cleany. "u guys r all on my reg tho". "wat du u guyz want" yellz foenix. "Von karuma axed us to taech yu a lesson inferior atorney!" yells kek eoins.

HOW WIL DE GUD GUYS WIN? FINDE OUT NXT CHPT WITH BARRYLAWN

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS THE TEAAAACH

CHAPTER 5 WAHAHA

BY BARRYLAWN

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. GAAANT AAAAND CLEANYYYYYY" shouted phoenix.

"yes and now you will do your homeworks!" said kek owens.

Phoenix was knocked out and draaaaged 2 a secret schoool in de mountains

"Shit NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" and phoenix tried to ESCAAAP liek dat episode of Ed edd n' eddy.

"Your name is on the reg! You can't escaaap" said cleany.

"damn u got me" and gant starltled 2 teaaach phoenix.

"now dis is a Gantt chart from project manegment" said Gant.

"khan it play organ music" said phoenix

"no" said gant bu phoenix was already on de run.

"RUN. DENANANA" said phoenix as he ran.

"naaaaaaaaahp2 and gant grabbed phoenix.

"U WILLL GETTED THE EDUMICATION!" shouted gant as he shakes phoenix.

"Alwright Wrighto, you organise a gant chart liek dis..." sys gant as phoenix fell into sleepl

de bell rings and phoenix wakes up.

"hey whos ringing de belll" said phoenix

"our janitor" said gant.

"(mby shell help me escaaaaaap?)" tohugt phoenix.

So phoenix diitched classs 2 finde de Janitor.

_ON WHOLE MINUTE L8TR_

Phoenix saw de signe 4 de janitor. phoenix gulped and openend de dooooor.

BIKINI WAS IN THERE!

"wtf bikini, help me escaaaaap" said phoenix

"Wahahaha! They pay me!" said Bikini.

"Damn ok. Theres only one option now" shouted phoenix

"RUN. DENANANANANA" shouted phoenix as he ran

"Staaaahp, ur name is on de reg" shouted cleany but phoenix was run.

Phoenix grab juicy who was still the cryings and DEY RAAAAAAAAAN.

"We have 2 gt bak 2 de schooool. von karma tooke eet over" said juicy.

"BUT KEK OWENS WAS THE CHASING THEM"

"You still havent leaaaaaarned, U ordinary person!" shouted kek owens.

"DAMN she stilll at us can u do anything juicy" said Phoenix

Juicy threw sume heavy tests he had 2 correct at her but kek owens took out a pen

and correctedd dem so fast dey never hit de ground.

"i got nothingk" and ron shrugggs.

"we gotta run FASTEEEEEEEEER" and dey were like USAAAIN BOOOOOOOOOLT but KeK OweNs was evan FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATER and usain cri somewhere because his record was broke.

"FUUUUUUUUUCK" said phoenix and started throwing evidonce at Kek oweNs.

_10 MINUTES L8TR_

"doesnt this place looook de same phoenix" sys cleany

"oh Shit WE WERE IN AROUND A ROOOOOUNDABOOOOOOT" shouted Phoenix.

there were walls at de sides

"A way out!" said phoenix

su phoenix hoped de wall and teachs cant hop walls so he were safe.

"OH NO, RON!" shouted phoenix cuz Ron was teach.

Juicy walks around teh walll.

So does Kek eoiNs.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" shouted phoenix

"wait a sec" and phoenix started rubbing his chin.

"If Bikini is here, that can only mean one thing. Were at the temple!" said phoenix.

"But what if i moved her?" said Kek Owens

"OBJECTION! She has a bad baaaaack she cant move!" shouted phoenix pointing his finger.

"bah, that doesnt change anythingk" said kek owens and she grabed juicy.

"Escaaaaap without me phoeniiiiiix..." said juicy.

"ok. if were at the temple... THE EAGLE RIVER IS NEARBY!" and phoenix started running to it.

Phoenix did a perfect swan dive over teh bridge and hit his head off de ground

"DAMNIIIIIIT, DIS IS TEH WRONG SIED OF TEH BRIDGE, OW MY TOE"

Phoenix cried for like 3 seconds b4 geting boared.

"To teh Schhooooooooooooool!"

WHAT WILL PHOENIX FIND AT THE SCHOOOOOL

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO JUICY?

TO BE ANSWERED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

barry vs lawn

chapter 6: juicys adventure

by DrDigertz

juicy and Kek owns were in exciting struggle tryin to fite eech othr to teh ground it was long fight but nothin really happened and it was a reeeeeeallly boring fight cause theyr both teachers whor boring which gave juicy idea so he kicked ms kek owns in the dick

"ha ha ha" lolled kek owned "i hav no dick"

"fuck"

kek owns wanted to kick juicy in teh dick too but then SHE WAS HIT ON THE HEAD AND SHE FELL TO FLOOR

"sory m8 btu i want to b teh one to kil him caus hes my rival" said de shadow who was cleany who as holding a globe "u tuched this globe, your prints are on it, YOU GOING TO DIE"

cleeany smashed the globe on juicys head but it LIT UP AND JUICY WAS SUCKED INTO THE GLOOOOOBE

juicy woke up in teh sky and tehn he wasnt in the sky cause he cant fly

he fell into teh ground causing a juicy shaped hole in teh ground to appear

"wow wher am i" said ron and he examined place and ther was an ireland flag next to the building, it wud have been britan but they brexited the fuk out of the EU, so well go with ireland insted

"wow i must be in areland, now dat i tink about it he did hit mi in teh ireland part of dat globe, i gotta get back to merica"

so juicy cocked on the door and a man came out

"helo" said the man "my name is ronan joyce" (AN tats like ron juicys name but teh irland version, tis is now a crossover between america juicy and irlandish joycy)

"Wow" said juicy "tat is like my name, but teh irland version, tis is now a crossover between america juicy and irlandish joycy"

"yea yea ok ther is appsolutely no need to say weird shit" said joyce "WAIT A MINUTE DID U JUST SAY UR NAMES JUICY"

"YES" said juicy "DO U KNOW ME, MY NAME IS RON JUICY, IM A FRIEND OF PHENIX WRIGHT, AND HES IN DANGER I THINK MAYBE, SO I GOTTA GET BAK TO MERICA BEFORE MY SCHOOL IS DOOOOOOOOMED SO WIL, U HELP M-"

"ron, shutup will ya" said ronan "i gotta go to scool, fuk u"

so ronan went to school but ron grab joyces skatebord and grab the back of joycys car so he was pulled by it

he got 2 school but ther was something VERY strange about it so ron decided to inestigate

he sneaked into the jay area wich had a computer room but students wer there but he cudnt see teh teecher so he grabed a rope and attacked it to homself and the roof and he climbed it to the roof and used it to fly over the classes head so they wudnt see him

he lowered himself to a computer used by some idiot on teh student server were they put files and documents and projext stuff...

BUT THE GUY WASNT DOING WORK

HE WAS ON A FOLDER CALLED "FANFIC FOLDERRRRRRRRR"

JUICY SCREAMED BECAUSE HE WAS A TEECHER AND BOI WAS A STUDENT HES TECNICALY NOT A TEECHER OF IRELAND SCHOOL BUT HABIT MADE HIM FORGET HE WAS ON SECRET MISSION AND HE GOT TO WORK

he shoved boi to the ground and went to delete all teh fics but wehn he went to recycle bin he noticed something shocking inside it:

IT WAS A TEXT DOCUMENT TITLE: "KEK OWENS EVIL PLAN"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT"

JOYCEY WENT TO LEAVE THE ROOM BUT THE TEACHER CAME IN

IT WAS RONAN JOYCE

"ronan u gotta help tis evil bitch is in ur school"

"is it kek owens"

"yes"

"OSHIT MAN" shouted ronan "DONT TELL ANYONE DIS, BUT IM NOT ACTUALLY A TEACHER, IM A SECERT AGENT WHO HAS BEEN SENT TO DIS SCHOL TO FIND AN EVIL WITCH TEACHER, WHO MURDERED A BUNCH OF LOWER LEVEL STUDENTS CAUS THEYRE INFERIOR, AN TEH ONES SHE DOESNT KILL, SHE WASTES THEIR CLASS TIEM BY RANTING ABOUT HOW SHES A FAN OF THE SERIES AS A WHOLE OR SOME IRRELEVANT SHIT FOR 30 MINUTES SO THEY DONT DO WELL IN THEIR TESTS SO THEY CANT BECOME HIGHER LEVEL STUDENTS, AND WHEN SHE DOES TEACH THEM SHE DOES IT IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE THEY CANT UNDERSTAND, SO SHE HAS TO BE ELNIMATED FOR THE SAKE OF THESE KIDS FUTURE, ALSO I HAD A SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, IT WAS RELLY GOOD AND HEALTHY SO THE HEALTH ED TEACHER WAS PROUD OF ME, BUT DONT TELL ANYONE BECAUS DIS IS TOP SECRET INFORMATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

"OK"

ron and agent ronan ran outside in time to see KEK OWENS LEAVE TEH SCOOL IN A HELLYCOPTER WITH A SAK FULL OF MONEY!

"HA HA HA" laughed kek owens "yor too late u foolz, i already robed the school bank, and have LAL THE MONEYS IN THE SCOOL!"

the helicopter left the school but joycey used his secret agent machines to climb up to the helicopter

BUT THEN KEK OWENS STUCK HER HEAD OUT OF THE DOOR AND THERE WAS SOMONE WIT GUN TO HIS HEAD: IT WAS PHOENIX!

"juicy let go and fall to dead or i kill nick"

"NO" shouted juicy and kek owns thought that meant he was saying no to falling to death so she SHOT PHOENIX AND BLOOD CAME OUT OF HIS HEAD

TO BE CONTINUED BY BARRYLAWN, HAH, IF HE CAN, BET YOU CANT COME UP WITH A WAY TO CONTINUE AFTER THIS, I WIN! HA HA HA HA

o u fuck, ill find a way! u wont win dis easily DOCTER DIGERRRRRTZ! -barrylawn

Chapter Text

DR VS DIGERTZ

CHAPTER 7: PHOENIX BATTLES THE RULES!

BANG

the blood came out of the mans head

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouted juicy and he fell to the floor "DAMMIT KEK OWNS, ILL KILL YOU!"

juicy climbed past joycey and jumped to the roof and stretch his arm like a ninja, redy to battel

but then he looked down and notice the dead man WASNT phoenix wright, it was FURIO TIGRE, kek owens was BLUFFING!

in his shock and relief kek owens KICKED JUICY IN THE HEAD AND HE FELL OUT AND KNOCK JOYCY OFF THE ROPE GADGETY THING AND THEY FELL AND LANDED IN THE GROUND

"owwwwwwwwwwwwww" moaned them "where is we" and they looked around and notice and america flag at the building

"woah, were back in los angeles, lets go find phoenix!"

===AT THE PHOENIX===

phoenix had just gotten to the gate of school and he was wet from swimming in the river, but fortunately he found a fish guy called mambo, and he taught phoenix a song on his ocarina, and he played mambos mambo to teleport to some grils lake outside her house, and it was right next to the school

phoenix ran to the gate but then a police car stopped next to him and a woman came out

it was LANA SKYE, THE CHIEF OF POLICE

"Not so fast, Mr Wright," said lana

"lana, wy are u talking like dat" said phoenix

"Silence," she said and she pulled out a list thing and phoenix read it

it sed:

"Community Etiquette:
FanFiction does not filter content and is an open system that trusts the writer's judgement. However, there is an inherent responsibility that falls to writers as a result.

1) Spell check all story and poetry. There is no excuse for not performing this duty. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as to find one.

2) Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.

3) Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing.

4) Everyone here is an aspiring writer. Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street.

5) Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself."

(these are the fanfiction.net guidelines, not boddered to change them because bad localization)

"I take it you never read these guidelines?" seid lana "The writing is obviously deliberately bad. The concepts of your stories have potential to be engaging reads if you wrote them properly.

phenix stared at lana blankly "but ive never wrote storys"

"Oh, sorry for bothering you."

lana got back in the car and drove away so phoenix climbed over the gate and opened it from inside because he saw juicy and some guy who looked a lot like him running to him

"are you phoenix wright" said the man

"yea"

"gud 2 meet u, my name is ronan joyce, im a secret agent from irland, i beleev u have experience with my evul enemy ms kek owens, so i have some questions for you"

"ewww questions, i always get them wrong, cant i just help you fight her instead"

"o, dat works too"

they busted down the entrance and sneaked in silently so noone would hear them

they opened the door at the end of tunnel and entered the computer room, an saw a kek owen minion on the computer, and he was doing the most EVIL THING IMAGINABLE!

HE WAS SHIPPING HARRY X HERMINIE AND RON X GINNY, AND TAT ISNT ALLOWED ON PHOENIXSONG, A FANFIC COMMUNITY, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PHOENIX WRONG

o wait a minute, phoenix song is cancer, so they teamed up with the minion because he was clearly on teh good side, his name was minty

they opened the door to leave the computer room BUT THEY WERE STOPPED BY SOMEONE STANDING THERE!

IT WAS HENRIETTA AND MANFRED VON KARMA!

"heh heh heh" laughed karma and he raised his hand to show something that wasnt a taser "im back with dat gun!"

TO BE CONTINUED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

CHAPTER: TEH END OF KARSMA

BY DRDIGERTZ

"wtf, go away von karuma you not perfoooct fool" scrims phoenix. "BUT PERFECT MEN HAB GUUUUUUNS!" sys von karma. "but prefect men arnt old" sys phoenix.

"ok den" and karma does fusion dnce wit henrietta 2 becoooome HON KARSMA! "why u dress liek birde" sys phoenix. "I KHAN WEAR WAT I WAAAANT!". "My nam is Kars de ultimatum lifeform, u will now loooooooose!" scrims hon karsma and turn his hand in2 SQUIRREL?!.

"u can nut win, hon. CUZ KEK OWENS IS 2 WEEK 2 FIGHT" scrims phonix. "oh yeh?" den kek owens eats da potatoes and BECUMSE SSJKEK. "oh shit" and poenix startls running. Hon Karsma & SSJKEK start chasingk hiiiiiim.

"YOU CNANT RUN 4EVER PHOENIX" sys SSJKEK. "y naht" yellz poenix. "CUZ YOU FORGET 2 ACOUNT FOR RETARDATION" scrums SSJKEK. "wtf teach, im not retarded" sys phoenix b4 tripping on his shoelace. "OH NO THE RETARDATIOOOOON!" cris phoenix.

"hah, u cnant beat a Ultim8te lifefarm & a SSJKEK!" sys Hon Karsma. "but u know wat khan beat anythongk?" sys foenix. "wat" dey says. "CANCER!" and poenix drops mark sananus wit dem.

*_+==&%^^£- 5 MINUTES L8TR- £^^%&==+_*

"u.. u juice dant apreciaate my teach stiiiiiiiile" sys SSJKEK runingk from de room crying. hon was felling liek a homsexual now. saranus gits boaaaaard and leves 2 smoke dank weed or somethingk.

"HAH! Ive cornered u nooooooow" sys hon karsma. "pfft, i gut secrot tech 2 kill any ultym8te liifefarm! HIT DE MUiSC!" sys phoenix and scxrt band cums out. "U THINK DAT CAN SABE UUUUUUU?! and karsma charges DE ULTIMATE BEEEEEAM. As its about 2 hit pojoenix holds up his atorney badje.

bean hits de stone and is refractionedd in2 de ground "WAT DE ATTORNEY BADGE?!" thonks kars. "I PRESENTED EET AND IT WOOOOOORKED!" SCRIMS PHOENIX.

de band starts THE DIE IS CAST, DERES NO OTTER CHOICE BUT 2 CARRY ON

phoenix gits flashbaks of all his advontures, ron savingk him from karmattah, going 2 khurain, beanig the killed, escaaaaping frum hel...

DRAWN FURTER DOWN DE PAATH OF DIS VERSUS SPIREEEL de band e continudes

beatingk kh'ill yauseff, keke owens comingk from de shadooows, tommi oneil u forgut abooot, escaaping frum school, juciy getingk sent 2 Eirerelands wit kek owens, foenix getingk help frum ronan juicy and finally...

AN ATORNEY WANDERING THROUGHTOUT ETERNITY

de grounde startls rumbling. "huhm? sys karsma AND DE GROUND EXPLODES WIT DE GEOGRAPHEE POWER CLEANY THOUGHT.

ONCE HE CONqCERS HIS FEARRS THIS MANS BADJE WILL RADIANCE WIT A GOLDEN GLOOOW.

ronan is blown bak wen de grounde explodes wit de red fiery hot stuf [A/N yknow wat ist called?]. "PHOOOOENIX!" he yels as phoenix + karsma rr shot into dee air at liek mach 100.

AND FOR TEH SAKE OF THOSE HE MET ALONG THE WAY, HE WILLT CARREE ON DERE FIGHTEEEE.

karsma + phoenix r pushed downe on dere baks cuz its 2 fast 2 furious for dem to stand.

THE QURTAIN RISES ON A NEW ACT IN OUR ETERNAIL TAILLL. AS LIVS CLASH DEY CAST BRILIANT LIGHT UP ON DE DAAAAY.

"dis is impressive, but do you thigk sum geography culd STOP KARSMA?!" and karsma gits 2 his feet.

MAY TEH FUTUR DAT YOU BRINGK FINALLLLY CAST OFF TEH MISFARTTUNE OF...

karsma opens de fathars on his birdsuit up "i khan harness wings & fly awaaaaaay".

THE LEGACYYY OF YOUR CAAAASES

"OBJECTIOOOOON. NAHT SO FAST!" yellz foenix,

karsma was aboot 2 fly away but dat stoped him and he was 2 confused to move

PHOEEEEEEENIX!

"nuw karsma, ur gona ask if dis was my plaaan? OH CARSE IT WAAAAAS" scrims foenix as loudee as he culd.

2 FATES INT2WINED TWISTED UP, NEVAR 2 SEPARA8TE TEH STORYY DAT STARTED SO LOOOONG AGO

rocks began shootingk up liiek bullets and hit karsma

LET DAT BURNING IN UR BADGE CALM DE TROMBLINGK OF UR PENALTYS

"how culd you, HOW CULD U PLAN DIS?!" scrims karsma. "I STAKED THE DECK! I BROKE YOUR RECORD! I PRESSED UNTEEL I CULDNT ANYMOAAAAAR" shouted phoenix wright.

STRIKE DOWN UR FEERS WITH COURAGE COARSING THRU YOUR VEINS! YOU CANUN OVERCUME YOUR PENALTIES UNLESS YOU CAN ACCEPT TEH CURTAIN RISES ON A NEW ACT IN AUR ETERNAL TAAAIL

karsma tried but slowe downy wit wings but he was liek mach 30000 hat dis poeint.

MAY TEH FUTURE U BRING FINALE CAST OFF TEH MISFARTUUUUNE OF...

"teh staaars?! noooooooooooooo" and karsma was launched int2 space and he froze [cuz its cold liek my scionce teach sad].

THE LEGACY OF YOUR CAAAASEEEES. de band fineshed.

phoenix lay downe on de rock, he culd see teh planet benearth him, he was almust in space.

"its over. ronan, ron, mark, kh'ill, lana, kek eoins, furio, and sexy grill"

"thats eet folks" hand foenix blaks out.

[A/N HAHAHA BEAT DAT FINISH BARRYSHORT]

to be continued i think maybe otherwise teh end -lawn

Chapter Text

BARRY VS DIGERTZ

CHAPTER 9: GDI HOW DO I BEAT DAT?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamd phoenix blasting into space and then he BLASTED INTO SPACE

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP OOOOOH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" he gasped for air but he was going so fast that HE LANDED ON ANOTHER PLANET

"uuuuugh" moaned phoenix

"hi" said a martian

"AHHHH" screamed phoenix

"wats wrong"

"YOUR AN ALIEN"

"no im not im a human" said the human and he became a human "welcome to htrae!"

"whats tray?"

"no, htrae"

"o ok"

phoenix went and ate some htraenese food it tasted really good and it made his throat burn cause it was hot which makes his throat hot too cause he ate it and it was hot cause of that

"wow tat burned my throat cause it was hot, i should go shopping for a way back to earth"

phoenix went to teh mall to shop for a way out when he went into the game stop thinking he could get home by going into the game, but then he remembered DD and SoJ werent released physically cause capcpom, just like how DGS was never locali-

HOLY SHIT LOOK GUYS LOOK THERE ON THE SHELF!

ITS LOCALIZED DGS!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT" screamed phoenix "THAT NOT FAIR, HOW COME HART GETS LOCALIZED DGS BUT NOT US, HOW DID IT EVEN GET HERE, WELL WATEVER, ONLY ONE THING TO DO"

phoenix grabbed all the copies off the shelf and the little kid cried until he notice it was rated 12 and he was a shitboy so he was too yung to play it so he ate some noseshit and played sacks and letters with his baby friends cause they were all 4

phoenix walked out of the shop with a sack full of DGS games when suddenly HE GOT HIT ON THE HEAD AND HANDCUFFED AND THROWN INTO THE POLICE CAR

"YOUR UNDER ARREST IN TEH NAME OF HTRAE POLICE FORCE" shouted policeman

"WATD I DO" shouted nick

"YOU WALKED OUT OF A SHOP WITH A SACK FULL OF GAMES, TATS WHAT THEEFS DO!" shouted man

"WAT NO, UR MAKIN A BIG MISTAKE"

"tats wat they all say"

phoenix was dragged to prison

MEAN WHILE ON HTRAE BACKWORDS

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" cried ron

"ron shut up will y'" said ronan "we cant save phenix by crying, lets go to mars"

"ok"

ron ronan and minty (remember him? cause digertz didnt kel) ran to the cosmos space senter

"greetings sirs, do you know who i am" said the man and he waved hand in the air "i am YUUUUUURRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIII COSMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS, A LEGEND OF SPACE AND THE HERO OF HAT-1!"

"i thoght tat was salmon" said minty

"aha, mah boi solomon was a hero too, but if it werent for me nobody would ever know about it!" said yuri "BE SURE TO TANK ME FOR THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIIIIIIIME! way better than tat shitty room movie by tomi wisow, the not black kid you can still forget about because you should instead be remembering MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"ok ok" said ronan "we need to save our pal, hes in space and might DIE!"

"VERY WELL! you bois can join the barrylawn launch dedotated to our creator, btw its launching now"

"WAT"

"DONT DELAY! a cosmos flight is too important to be delayed by you, also barrylawn will get mad so dont miss it"

YEA GUYS, DONT MISS IT! 3, 2, 1...

"WAAAAIT" shouted ronan

NO!

so we didnt wait and i got the rocket to launch on time, but i decided to use my god author powers to get ron ronan and minty on the rocket, hope your ok with dat, digertz

the rocket disappear into the sky as cleany watched from kek owens bedroom window

"theyre goin to the place" said cleany

"sniffteachingsniffrespectsniff WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" cried kek owens

"ill tell you later"

===ABOARD HAT-3===

"hey clay look" said solomon and he pointed out the window

"WOAH" shouted clay and he got out his space phone "HEY COSMOS WE FOUND A NEW PLANET, ITS MOVEIN AT LIKE 1000000 TIMES FASTER THAN EARTH"

"I BET PHOENIX IS ON THERE" shouted ron "CAUSE HE FLEW THIS WAY"

"wow ok, careful tho we gotta go fast here or were gonna miss it"

they went at like 9000000000000000000000000000000 miles and got lucky and crashed into the planet as it passed

"SIR WE LANDED, BUT WE BROKE A BUILDING, IM SURE THEY WONT MIND THOUGH, CAUSE THEYR ALIENS AND DONT HAVE EDUCTATION SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE MARK SANANUSES"

"ok"

they got out and saw the broke a prison, AND PHOENIX WAS THERE WITH A SACK OF STOLEN GOODS"

"PHOENIX YOUR OKAY" shouted minty

"who are you again" said nick "whatever guys we gotta get out of here!"

"why phoenix what happened" said ronan and phoenix opened the sack

"I FOUND LOCALIZED DGS!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 10

escaping thrae

"WAHAHAHAHAAAAT DO U HAB DERE PHOENIX" scrrims somebbooody. "wtf du u want "sysphoenix as he turnleds arond AND EEET WAS DE CRAPCOM POPO. "We cam her 2 destriy de tranlated DGS!" he sys and de war flet apeaaaaaars.

"NUUUUU, U CNANT DO DAT, I DONT WANT SHITTY FANSUBS FROM DE WOLFE OR SOMETHINGK"

and foenix starrrts running wit de bag of gaaames in his hands. "FIEEERA DE DEAAATH BEAM!" and crapcoms OC Death Star FIERAAAARS. Minty gits blown up cuz fuck minty and foenix and juicy tri 2 hides in de city.

de crapcom march starts ploying. "DUN DUN DUDUDUUUN DUN DUN DUDUDUUUN. FUU-UU-UCK MEGAMAN MEGAMAN FU-UU-UCK MEGAMAN. WE WILL NEVA MAKE A GOOD GAME AGAIN" it went somethingk liek dat. "hid in hear!" sys ronan and he jumpls in2 a shop.

"hey pals watchu doingk?" SAYZ DICK GUMSHOE. "wtf r udoingk hre, dis is half a drdigertz fic and ur only her noooow?!" scrims foenix.

"sorree pal, de cup noodles r cheap here. Hey did u know dey localise AND slel gme carts here?!" sys gummyshu. "no time, we gota get of dis planet. du u know a wey gum?" sys ronan. "yeh pal, well take dat ship" and gummy points at one of crapcoms waaaarships.

_5 minuuutes l8tr_

"How we gon steeel dis den" sys poenix. "wat? detoctive dant steel" and gummy knocks on de door of de ship. "yeh, wat you want" sys de chief enginneeer. "can u bring us bac 2 earth?". "lol no, we doing an invaaasion here" sys chief.

"pretty pleaaaaase?" sys gumshoe. "ok den, letsa go" and de chief staaarts 2 flee dem bac 2 Earth.

"hey, ship waaare, u going" sys other ship. "bak, 2 earth. dese guys want a lift" sys ship. "wat, no" talk 2 de KOMMAAAAANDAAAAR fiorst. "ok" so de ship clals de KOMMMMAAAAAAANDAAAAAAR.

"KHAN ii bringk dese guys bak 2 earth?" sys ship. "NNNUUUUUU, DEY R ARE TARGUUUTS" sys Kek Owens!

TO BE CONTINUED BY BARRYLAW

Chapter Text

TURNABOUT BUTTER RIVALRY

CHAPTER 11: TEH FORMULA

"waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat" shouted phenix and THE WALL BROKE DOWN, AN CLEANY WAS THERE WITH KEK OWENS

"roight, u fuks r goin down, so go down" said cleany and he charge at them and then he split in two and there was another cleany who looked nothing like the other cleany but hes still a clone

they charge at nick and juicy and ronan but the split made him weaker than he already was so they punch them and they fell to the floor

"NUUUU CLEANY" shouted kek owens "DAMMIT, good thing i have ONE person left in my army" she took out ehr fone "hey minion wheres the glasses kid"

"hes not here any more remember you sent him out of teh army cause he couldnt see the plans you wrote on the board cause he has bad vision and then u rage at him for having shit eyes an got him expelled from teh army, so he not here any more" said the phone

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT"screamd kek owens "EXPEL TAT KID FROM TEH SCHOOL"

"u already did dat"

"FUCK, KILL HIM THEN"

"k"

however while she was talking to the guy ronan sneaked behind her and used his secret agent knife-gadget to stab her in the back

"i did it shes dead" said ronan

"wow tat was easy" said phoenix "anyway speaking of death lets go home and RIP for minty"

so they went home and people were at teh school and they were sad cause kek owens was kill so they had to go back to school

but it wasnt a normal day with classes, it was the ceremony for phoenix ronan and ron but also something in honor of mintys death, what was it called again? a formula? sumthin lick that

"he was barely every there but he was great" said phenix

"he literally only spoke occasionaly for no reason, thanks for not bein annoying minty" said ron

"i liked him he was quiet" said ronan

"i liked him too" said minty

"MINTY, UR ALIIIIIIVE" shouted phoenix

"yea, cuase i died on htree, and when people die on htrae, they become ghosts, like in jakkidverse, so im here as a ghost, OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"well" said the formula host guy "this is a happy ending"

and everyone was happy cause kek owens was gone and minty was alive

BET YA CANT CONTINUE THAT, DIGERTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Chapter Text

ch 12

De chapter dat continude

foenix wus havingk fun in skool but DEN SOMEBOAAAADDY BURST IN DEDOOOR. "FENIX, WE GUT TRABLE!" sys guy. "whu r u" sys fenix.

"IM JACKIE CHUN AND KEK OWENS IS STILL ALLLLLIVE" scrims jackie.

"wtf, y" sys foenix. "cuz she die in htrae u barrylawn-braind idjyit."

"oh shite yeh, lETZZZZZ GO, WHARE IS SHE?!" sys phoenix. "she cam bak 2 Eaarth. iunno ware she is so we ned sum magiic powaars or somethingk 2 finde her" sys jackie. "I KNUW SOME1 WIT DE MAGIC POWRS" and foenix ran bak 2 khurain and pearl was dere for liek no reason.

"hey pearls, use ur maaaagieek powers 2 find kek owens ghost 4 us plz" sys foenix. "dafuq, u now i cnant chanel ded peops if dey wlalking" sys pearls. "damn, chanel ini/mini whoever dafuq was the murdere in dat case" sys foenix.

"ok" and pearls chaned dat gurl. "wat, u want" sys gurl. "FINDE KEK OWENS DE GHOST WIT UR COLLLLEGE DEGREE" scrims phoenix. "lol, i liar and murderer, i wont help u!" sys gurl. "damnit, if only dere was som1 who culd find out thingks..."

gumshoe wlalks in "hey pal, i wus stuck behinde barrylawns dumb walll". "oh crpa, can u find kek owens?" askz jiucey. "yeh, lemmie use my detectoves skillls".

gumshoe opens gooogle earth and scans de entire planet in liek 5 mins "Shes in eygpt pal" he sys. "alwright!" and ronan turns in2 his seal form usingk irish powers and stratls swimming. "Ill fly plane cuz im an edumicated man" sys ron juicy. Evary1 else gets in plane.

WHAT WILL HAPPON IN TEH EYGPTS?

FINDE OIT NXT TIEM WITH BAAARRRYSHOOORT

Chapter Text

DRLAWN VS BARRYDIGERTZ

CHAPTER 13

GREATFAN THE JESUSBOI

they landed the plane in ijipt

"alright pal lets go look for kek ow-" said gumshoe but then A GUY APPEARED AND GRABED HIM BY NECK AND CARRIED HIM AWAY

"wow, ok, hell be back next chapter" siad phoenix

"ok lets go look for kek ghost" said minty ghost "my ghost powers say shes... HERE!"

"well dat wudve been helpful 5 minutes ago, lets go ask in town if theyve seen a ghost"

they went into town and they heard somethin, it was a christian guy spreading lies across town

"GAWD LUVS U, BUT HE H8S ALL WHO DONT TINK HE EXISTS, SO BELEEV HE EXISTS AND HE WONT MAEK U SUFEEEEEEEEEEER, U MUSLIM SINNERS!" shouted teh wyld 14 year old boi and he was flapping his arms arond as he shouted like a madboi but everyone just ignored him and it made him mad caus they werent being the MORAL people gawd wanted tehm to be

"hey u" said phoenix cause he thought a shitboy like dis would have met a ghost or somethin "you see a ghost named kek owens arou-"

"IN DE NAME OF DE FAAATHEEEEEEEEEEEEER" screamed boi "HELLO, SUH, MY NAME IS u/THEGREATFANBR, JUST CALL ME GREAT FAN, I AM A SOLDIER OF GODS ARMY WITH A MISSION TO CONVERT EVRYONE TO CRISTIAN!"

"uhhhh ok im christian now i guess so te-"

"U DONT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT" screamed boi

"omfg stop yelling, it shud be a sin" said juicy

phenix blessed himself liek tehy do in church so hed stop yelling and help

"o ok" said greatfan "gr8 to see ur on teh side of justice, what were u askin- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP" he gasped and pointed at phoenixs pocket, ther was photo in ther, and he took it out, AND IT WAS A PHOTO OF SEXYGRIL WIT NO CLOTHS ON

"...yoooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..." he glared at phenix "YOU ARE A SOLDIER OF SAAAAAATAAAAAAAAAAAAN"

"wait wat where did dat cum from" said phoenix

"COME NOT CUM, O MY GOD IT MAY B TOO LATE 4 YOU!" he glared and pointed slowly at him "sooo u tink u can luk at shit liek diiiiis... well NO, U WIL BE PUNISH FOR DIS ON DAY OF JUDGEMENT, AND YOU WIL NEVER GET ETNERMAL LIFE YOUUUUU HEATHEN!"

"calm down boi, its just a 18 image of some gril in my class, and ur 14, so avert ur eyes, u might be scared for lief"

"SILENCE" shouted greatfan and he sprayed phoenix in holy water but it did nothing HMMMM i wonder why? "fortunalty for me, i have POWERFUL allies, WE WILL TORTURE U UNTIL YOU BECOME A GUD PERSON!"

"sory whos the gud person here" said mintyghost

"ME, BECAUS IM CRISTIN, AND AL CRISTINS AR GUD AND HAPY, UNLIKE ATEETHS, WHO ARE BAD AND SAD"

"ten wy am i gud and happy" said phenix "well im not exactly hapy cause kek owens is alive but WHY AM I NORMALY HAPPY"

"DATS FAAAAKE HAPPYNES, TEH ONLEE HAPINES U CAN GET IZ FRUM GOOOOOOOOOD" he flaped like a bird but joycey slapped him in teh face

"listen boi just tell us where kek owens is" said ronan

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP" screamd gaspenfan "your ALL SINNERS! kek owens hired me, and told me there were 5 EVIL people coming after her that must have been destroyed, O MY FUCKING GOD THIS EXPLAINS THE PRON PHOTO, tho im not quite sure where the 5th guy is, BUT TAT IS IRELEVANT, I MUST GO TELL MS KEK OWENS"

and he vanished cause phoenix and guys just kind of stood around as he was shouting all that

and ronan put his hand in his pocket and took out his cross and burned it cause greatfan was a cancerous child who had given him cancer in the name of christ

(btw this creates a split timeline, in this timeline phoenix doesnt defend jesus in krazy kurain adventures dlc - turnabout time travel, u shud read it, but read the whole series first, or just the first 3 fics before you read the DLC case, cause thats when it happens)

"WAIT GUYS LOOK" minty ghost pointed to the distance and they saw greatfan running into the sphinx

so tehy ran to the spinx and found a door in the butt so they went in

it was really dark but they had a flashylight from some nice guy in the town

they walk around and it was dark and there was egyptian writing on the walls but theyd need professor layton to understand it

"phenix turn off the torch!"

"teh wat"

"the light!"

"oooo u mean the flashlight"

"no u"

phoenix turned off the torchlight and he saw a light around the corner

they turned it and they saw the head of spinx, AND THE GHOST OF KEK OWENS WAS THERE WITH CLEANY AND GREATFAN

"gud job boi" said kek owens "tey will pay for making me a ghost"

"yes master, but tats not all, THEY ALSO DONT WORSHIP TEH LORD JESUS CHRIST AND GAWD" shouted greatfuck

"oh how hateful of tem, they will pay for this murder"

"AND DE BLASFEMY"

"yes yes yes" said kek owens

"hey kek owens" said cleany

"wat"

"i learne something about team phoenix too"

"wat is it"

"THERE RIGHT THERE!" cleany pointed AT THE DOOR AND THEY SAW RON STICKING HIS HEAD OUT

"hi"

"FUK JUICY LETS RUN!"

TO BE RUN BY DRDIGERTZ

(A/N hey guyz wat do you think of THIS NEW OC VILLIN? hope thegreatfanbr sees this, sins i try to make him as accurate to him as possible)

Chapter Text

barryshort vs drdigertz

ch 14

de one ware de git founde.

"Shituuu!" scrims foenix hand dey stratl running away frum teh cleany & kek owens.

"I DUNT WANNA GU BAK 2 SCHOOOOOOOLeS!" sys phoenix. "U GOINGK 2 CHRISTIANS SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL" scrims greatfan. "wtf, no i run. denenanana" sys phoenix. "our fater who art in haven, maek me go fast plz" prys greatfan.

den greatfan RAN FASTER DAN SAAAAAANIC. but gumshu was 2 quick and trip him over de speed of fast. "alright pal, letsa hied in dat pirimid!" su dey ran at teh primimid dat was big.

_INSEID TEHS PIRIMIMIMD_

"I thonk were saf now" sys minty-ghost. "NNUUUUUU, I JINX IT" sys juicy. "yeh, u dumb" sys gummyshu. "AHAHAHAAAAA! DAT WAS JUST A MOVEI IN DE SFINX, DIS IS OUR REAAAAL BASS!" sys kek owens.

"damn, thru dis dooore gaiys" sys minty and he run forr teh 'EXIT' door.

"NUU MINTY U FOOOLE, EXIT STANDUS 4 EXCITIIIING" sys gumshu. it was 2 l8tr and minty felll in2 pit off ghost crocs who ate him 2 ghooooost-hellllll. "dunt worrry gais, dis is teh real exit" sys Dat Boi and taey wlalks 2 de secret doors he saw. "CURSES! OUR SEXROT EXIIIT" sys cleany whu tri 2 follow but glass in wey.

"qucik, onto teh streeeats" sys foenix and dey run in2 streaaats

BUT DEY GUT BLOCKED BY CROWWED OF SCHOOOLBOIYZ. "ow my thumbk, i baby" sys 1 gai. "yeh, u baby" sys grill. "CNANT U GU FAAAASTER?!" srims ron but dey 2 dumb.

"U cnant escaaap frum JESUS NUWWWWW" sys greatfan jesusboi

WAT WILL HAPPON NOXT?!

FINDE OUUUT WIT BAAARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS DRIGERTZ

CHAPTER 15 BY BARRYLAWN

"god dammit guiz hurry" said phenix

"uhhhhh wat" said teh guy

"PLZ LET US PASS, KEK TEAM IS AFTER US"

"wats kek"

phenix turned and greatfan was nearly caught to them

"FUCK, ONLY ONE THING TO DO NOW"

and he took out his knife and stabbed the guys in the back and they all died, dont worry tho, theyre deaths will not be for nuthing because now phonics team can run over theyr bodies and get away from kek owens

"COME BAK AND REPET UR SINS, FAGGETT" shouted gatefan

"NO" shouted phoenix and then teh ghost of the ghost of minty appeared and used ghost magic AND THE GUYS WERE ALIVE AGAIN

AND THEY STOOD UP AND WERE IN KEK TEAMS WAY

"NOOOOOOO" shouted kek owens "YOU FULES, MOVE OR LET US PASS"

they were blankfaced

"WE SHALL KILL YOU" shouted cleany

"NOOO" shouted greatfan "GOD SAYS MURDER IS BAD"

kek owens forced the guy and the guy to fuk and the gril and the gril to fuk too

"look greatfan, they homosexule, now can we kil dem" siad kek owns

"YES, BECAUS BIBBEL SAIS GAYS ARE EVIL, STEP BACK ILL KIL DEM MYSELF IN DE NAME OF DE LAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

and greatfan attacked the guys by runing at them and fapping his arms in circles and a few times he somehow actually hit tem and they fell but they wernt ded but greatfan thoght they wer dead cause he stupid

and since this took so long phoenix ronan ron and gumshoe were at the other side of town

UNTIL SANTA CAME AND THREW GUMSHOE IN HIS SLEIGH AND FLEW AWAY WIT HIM

"wow lol he cant get a break" said ronan

"yea, dis is barrylawn chapter, so we hav to replace gumshoe with minty now, lets go to ghost heeeeeell to get him back"

so they went to ghost heeeeeeeell and got minty back

"ok so what do we do now" said bielal

"excellent question my good assistant" said phenix "u remember when we were swimming in the river and we met mambo, maybe he can bring us to kek owens secret place"

"yea, i remember, but were in egypt, not japan i mean los angeles" said boilal

"hmmmm tat is tru, lets go back to los angeles so we can teleport to the pirimid"

so phenix team went back home and met mambo and he taught phenix a song on his pink ocarina and it teleported him away to egypt

"wow dat was pointless" said mintyghostghost

"no, i got a nice song, it sounds grete"

"TERE TEY ARE" shouted greatfan "THE GOD SHALL PUNISH U, U FILTHY ATEEST MORETELL!" and he blessed himself in teh same holy water used by jesus when he got water dumped on him by johnny

"WHAT WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MAGIC WHATER" shouted ronan

"i found it" said greatfan

===2016 YEARS AGO===

"I DID NAHT DROWN HIM! ITS NAHT TRU! ITS BULLSHIT! I DID NAHT DROWN HIM! i did naaaaht. ohai jesus" said johnny who was bein accused of fucking up and drowning a christ kid but then he turned away from the angry guyz and saw jesus

"hi johnny i wanna be bappised and shit"

"ha ha ha" laughed jahnny and he batted him

"tank u, dis is teh holy water dat i jesus crist used, let us bury this water somewhere in egypt" said jesus and they were sudenly in another place

"ohai egypt" said johny and he buried teh water next to teh spinx

===2016===

and then greatfan OPENED the bottle and he DRANK from it

AND HE WAS POSSESED BY JESUS CHRIST, BUT NOT JUST ANY JESUS CHRIST, IT WAS MURDERING HEAVY METAL GOD GUITAR JESUS!

AND HE WAS ANGRY CAUS PHENIX TEAM DIDNT THINK GOD EXISTED!

"DIIIIIIIIIE IDIOTS" shouted jesusfan

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

ch 16 land of yowth

by Drdigertz

su fanboi was nuw supermecha death christ 2000 BC version 4.0 BETA BITCH. "DIEEEEE FUUUUCKEEERS!" scrims death christ. "oh, shit we bettar run" sys minty. "WAAATCH UR FUCKIN LANGUAAAGE" and death christ used de anti-ghost missiles 2 kille de minty. "no no no no we some1 usefullness now where dat gumshue at" sys foenix. "Right here! Hohohoho!" gummy had GAINED TEZ SANTA POWAAARS. which means hes wareing red coat now and nothingk else.

"DIEEEEE FUUUUUCKERS" sys death christ. "oh man" and gummy jumpls outta de way of those metal tingys dat cum frum guns. "i cnant bet him, but I KNAW SOM1 WHU KHAN!" den DETOCTIVE JESUS CAME OUT. "hey im peace n' loving" sys jesus. "DIEEE FUUUCKEEEER" sys death christ. "hey dat not peace n' lovingk" sys jesus. "OBJECTIOOONE, U MURDER FUUCKER, YOU DANT KNOW PEECE AND LOVING" sys death christ.

"oh, shit" sys detoctive jesus. "U TR8TR, U CULD'VE BEEND DE CHOSEEN 1. YOU WARE MEANT 2 BRING BALNCE TOOO DE LAW, NAHT DESTROY EEEET" sys gummyshu. "u UNDERESTIM8TE MY POWAR" sys detoctive jesus bu gummyshu alrady arrosted him and broght him 2 chort.

"DIEEEE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKEEEEERS!" sys death christ. "we outta jesuseses" sys dat boi. DEN A TIIIIIIME HOOOOLE OPENNED. "hey my names Ronan Juicy, im de gay sun of ronan &juicy. FRUM TEH PAAAAAAAST" sys ronan juicy. "wtf, is dis. how dat mak cence!" sys bielal. "WAAAATCH UR LANGUAAAAGE FUUUUCKEEEEEER" sys death christ and blews up bielal. "SHIIIIIIET, I WUS MEENT 2 STAHP DAT" sys ronan juicy.

"WAAAAATCH UR FUCKIN LANGUAAAAAGE" sys death christ. "IM SICK OF UUUUUU" and ronan wraps him grippes aroond death christ 7 times AND THREWS HIM IN2 DE SUUUUUUN. "ok, dats ovar wit. now we shuld get bielal" sys ronan juicy. su phonix opnend a PARTAL 2 HELLL (he wus on de loyalty crad 4 hlel now]. "oh shit, bielals naht dere" sys foenix. "ware is he? sys ronan juicy.

"IIIIN MY KINGDUUUMP" sys dis hot laydy on horse hu cam from nawhere. "wat, y he dere" sys gummyshu. "so u guys hab 2 cum to my kinkdom" sys hot laydy. "alri, lettsa gu den" sys phoenix. "hmmm, dis seems teh suspicious" sys ronan teh fiorst. "its ok, ur SON JUICE HAD 2 AGREE TO MARRY MEEEEEEEE. i heard he sexy" sys hot laydy. "yeh, i liftez" sys ronan juicy tryna flex. "wait, y wuld i mary u" sys ronan juicy.

"bECUSE I PUT SPEL ON YOOOOOUUUUUUUU" and hot lydy wigles her fingars. "ok den" and ronan juicy waits 4 somethingk 2 happon. so somethong happond.

"Hey im teh church gai" sys preist in greene. "imma advertosie here now" sys priest. "HAB U HERD ABOOT OUR LARD AND SAVOUR JESUSUS CHRISTUUUUU?!" he scrims. "yeh, i dunt care" sys foenix. priest was gunna git vary hangry, but he saw snaaaaake 2 chase su he ran. Su ronan juicy waits 4 somethingk 2 happon. so somethong happond.

"STAAAHP U EDUMICATED FOPS RIIIIEGHT NOOOOOW" sys kek owens! "wat, i thoughty u ghost" sys ron juicy. "Yaaaaas, but I PUSSOSSED DE BODUY OF MAY GRANDUDAGHTER, TEH SEXYGRIL FRUM CH1" sys kek owens. "oh carp, she can catch us now" sys ron juicy. "WE GUT NU TIEM, I AGREEEEEEE, TAK US 2 UR KINGDUUUUM" sys ronan juicy.

"alri, git on my harse guys" sys hot laydy. "hmmmm, my detoctives skielllz says teh harse is 2 small 4 us" sys gummyshu. "yeh, just stack on me" sys hot laydy. Su dey all staaacked on her. "GOOOOOOO" sys hot ldy as kek owesn teh chases aftor them. "WE ESCAAAAAAAPD" sys phoenix "ware de kingduump at?"

"diiiiis waaaaaay" sys hot laydy AND HARSE JUMPIES IN2 SEAAAA. "wat, did dey just drown?" scrims mark SARARARANO. "leel no u stupieed, my swiming powars say deyre on teh M50" sys gant. "teh wat faggot?" scrims mark. "teh magic motorway fiddy" sys gant.

_ONE TEH MAGIC MOTORWAY FIDDY_

"wew, dis is sum maaagieek roade" sys dat boi. "yeh, koool and magic peps evorywhare" sys hot laydy. "ohai horse" sys johnny teh baptist. "liek dat gai" sys hot laydy.

Aftor while harse gut tierded. "sorre gaiys, harse is outta petrol, i gutta refueeel eet." so hot laydy stahped teh harse in sum randum plac FOR UNRELOTED ADVONTUUUURUE.

"woah, is dis shupar mario macker?" sys gummyshu. "yeh, try de levals while i fuele up" sys harse. Dat boi went on sum auto mareeeo levels, foenix plyd sum kaizo, gummy did puzzle hand teh juicy fam triod 100 mario challonge. "wtf is dis BS stuff, y is supah expurt not doable and cancer?" sys juicys.

"yeh, lets get outta dat cancer" sys hot laydey handd dey stack up agian.

_50 MINUUTES L8TR_

"alri, u hear, u guys grab bielal and ill keep sexy guy 2 myself" sys hot laydy. "kool, ware bielal?" sys phoenix. "obar dere" sys hot laydy tryna plul ronan juicy away. "hey bielal, how u" sys phoenix. "studying sceince!" sys bielal. "lol nothingk new den" sys foenix.

"psst, foenix i thonk dis is secrotly an evil plaayce" sys gummyshu. "hmm, ill acopt ur detoctive skillez" sys foenix. "hey, hot laydy, wats dis kingdum called" sys foenix. "teh kingdum of YOUUTH" sys hot laydy. "OH SHIIITE PHOOENIX" sys gumshu pluling cartain away "DEY ALL BABIIIIES".

There was baby mario, babby luigi, babby peach and babby donald trump. "we gotta escaaap pal!" sys gumshu. "OH. MAY. GAAAAAWD!" sys phoenix. Dat boi was teh yungest of dem and HE WAS BABY NOW.

"SOON U ALL BABY!" sys hot laydy

HOW WILLT DEY ESCAAP?!

FINDE OOOOUT NOXT TIEM WITH BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS FANFICTION NET

&DIGERTZ

CHAPTER 17

TURNABOUT FANFICTION

phenix and ron and ronan and minty who was back again were running to save dat boi from babyness

however before they could do ANYTHING

A WIND CAME AND BLEW THEM AWAYYYYYY

they blew across the land and they landed in TEH DEFENDENT LOBBY

"hi" said a guy and it was ME WTF AM I DOING IN COURT?!

"Hiiiy pal" said digertz

"wat where are we" said phenix

"idk wat u guys ar doin here but WERE BEIN PUT ON TRIAL" shouted me

"WAT" shouted phenix "WAT HAPPENED"

"we were accused of making an illegal story called "barrylawn VS DrDigertz: turnabout bitter rivalry" and we were arrested and we dont have a lawyer" said me

"yeaah an wi gona dy caus we has no on to detent us"

phenix look at us both

"hey ron"

"yea"

"your an art teacher right"

"no"

"oh, well, make me a attorneys badge"

"WAT" shouted ron

"u gonna DEFEND THEM" shouted ronan

"HOW" shouted minty

"it may b my first reel trial, but i gotta do it. cause if we dont and barry and digertz get arrested THE WORLD MIGHT END!"

ron came back with a cardboard attorneys bag

"good enough" sid phenix putting on the baj "lets go in and defend"

so they went in

O YEA TIME 4 DE FIRST TRIAL!

"ah, yes, yes, yes, yes" said the gallery

"court is in session" said udgey

"i am ready your honor" said phoenix

"who are you"

"my name is phoenix wright, im a coll- i mean a lawyer, and this is my teacher i mean um mentor ron juicy and so is ronan joyce and minty too"

"o ok" said judge "btw wheres the prosecutor"

and then THE WALL EXPLODED BEHIND THE PROSECUTORS PLACE

AND KEK OWENS WAS THERE

"HA HA HA" laughed kek owens "now by convicting teh two authors the world wil be DESTRO- WTF" she shouted cause she didnt expect phoenix to be defending

"OH NO ITS MISS KEK OWENS" shouted phoenix

"yes i am here to prosecute barry and digertz hehehe" said kek owens "you will lose i"

"damn, she must be planning to stop tis universe from continuing, we gotta not let her do dat" said minty

"please make your opening statement" said udgey

kek owens took out her reading glasses except she didnt have any cause peeple who need glasses get expelled in her class

"barrylawn and drdigertz wrote a fic dat has disregard for proper language: grammar, spelling, punctuation, and etc, i call my witness to the stand"

a toothbrush came to the stand

"name and occupation"

"my name is spark toothbrush end quote" said brushel "im a reporter"

"gud, now, you saw the fic, tell us bout it"

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

"i was on my favorite fanfic site fanfiction net"

"now let me say sumthin for da recerd here, i only like real fics not jakkid crap"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "why"

"CAUSE TEY TRASH, THEY SHUD BURN! end quote" said toothbrush

"hm" said ronan "this makes him suspicious"

"wat i saw was outragous"

"IT WAS A COLLAB BETWEEN BARRYLAWN AND DRDIGERTZ"

"it was called, hm, "barrylawn vs DrDigertz: turnabout bitter rivalry" end quote, and it was horrible written"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "look at the title! IT CLEERLY SAYS THE FIC IS CALLED "DRDIGERTZ VS BARRYLAWN!"

"no it doesnt" said kek owens

"no not here, on fanfiction.net, which is what brushel said he was usin, see, its called digertz first on dat site"

"WHAAAT" shouted kek owens "what does this mean"

"this can only mean ONE thing" said phoenix "sparkle saw the name in reverse, so obviously, he was reading it through a MIRROR!"

"WOW" said juicy "nice job phenix, i never wouldve thought of that"

"gr" gred kek owens "what importance does this have"

"brushel has testified that the fic was horibly written, however this is not true, its amazingly written, its the best writing in the world, sins it has two of the best authors on fanfiction net, but this can be explained if brushel saw it through a MIRROR! see? cause then hed be reading it like "DEUNITNOC EB OT nanor dias "ih xinehp"" and stuff like that"

"OHO-OHO-OHO-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH" said brushel as he rapped his tie around his head and SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE

"KEK" shouted kek owens "then why did the fanfic admin delete it, you fuck?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" shouted pheonix

"come on phenix, u is on teh rite track" said minty

"think outside de box phenix" said ronan

"ok" said phoenix "the fanfic man deleted it... BECAUSE IT WAS REPORTED A BUNCH OF TIMES"

"WHAT" shouted kek owens "BY WHO"

"by the only person who could possibly hate this fic, MR SPARK BRUSHEL, WHO JUMP TO THE CONCLUSION DAT THE FIC WAS BAD AND NOT TAT HE WAS READING IT MIRRORED, SO HE GOT US FUCKED WITHOUT CHECKING"

"NOOOO" shouted brusel brusheling his tung "you have no proof"

"yes i do, and tat is ur profile, because it says ur job is a jurnalist but just earlier yu reveeled u were also a REPORTER, WHICH MEANS U REPORTED TEH FIC"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SKRUB SKRUB SKRUB SKRUB SKRRRUUUUUUUB" skrubbed burshing skrubbing his toung with his titbrush that was himself, so he was brushing his own teeth, so he got eaten by himself

"i declare barrylawn and drdigertz NOT GUILTY" said udgey and the fic continued

"nO" shouted kek owens "ILL GET U FOR DIS, PHOENIX"

and then they were blown back to lawn of youth

"ok lets do the thing" said phoenix "come on lets go to waaaaaaa" he cried because he TURNED INTO A BABY

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

CH 18 TEH BABBY 1

"oh shit wright, u babby" sys bielal. "WAAAH WAAA" cris babby foenix. "hey wright wat u doingk" sys minty. "WAAAAH WAAAAA" cris poenix. Den minty explouded cuz ghosts r alergic to bABBYS cri. "SHTAND ASIDE! I GUT A DEGREE IN CHIELDCARE" sys gumshu and he cheks foenix pulse.

"waaah waaaah!" cri foenix. "wow, i done. stfu babby" and gummy throws babby at ron juicy. "alri, i gud teach. ill looke after dis baby an u luck aftor dat baby ronan teh fiorst" sys ron. "kool, can we escaaap from kingdom now?" sys ronan teh fiorst.

"wait, plz help me escaaaap 2. i dunt wana stay wit dis grill" sys ronan juicy. "alrite, cum wit us" sys gumshu. ronan juicy wus abooot 2 run but DEN HOT LAYDY CASTEDS SPELL ON HIIIIIM. "DAMN, I GUT SPELLL ON MEEEEE" SYS ronan juicy and he stratls 2 turn babby.

"wat. WE WILL ALLL BE BABBY SOOOOOON!"sys gumshu. "WAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAAH" sys phoenix, dat boi & ronan juicy. "gah, stfu!" sys gumshu. DEN PORTALS OPEN. "wat is dis even" sys bielal. "Waaahahahaaa! you clalled me?!" sys WALUIGIIII. "woah. im ur bigoost fan" sys ron juicy. "yeh, thansk, ill help u guys be teh adults and escaaap" sys wahahaluigi.

"alri, can we do challonge or somethingk liek heroes 2 escaaap?" sys walugi. "yeh cuz wear teh awsum KINGDUM OF YOOWWWTH" sys hot laydy N. "we goingkk cart racinggg, liek real heros" sys hot laydy. "aw, yeh, i luv crart racing" sys waluigi.

_START OF DAH RACE_

All of foenixs team was agoinst Hot laydy and her babbys. "Wahaha! ull nevar bet me!" saids waluigi. "oh well see" sys hot laydy.

_3 LAOPS L8TR_

wahuigi slows 2 stahp. HE HAD DE WOOOOOON! "Wahaha! wat u gonna du now! its bean 3 laps" sys wluigi. "in baby circuit tehrs 5 LAAAAPS" sys hot laydy as she goes ligtspurd past wahlugi. "SHIIIIIIIT" sys walugii and try 2 go farward BUT BABBY DONALD TRUMP HAD BUILT WAAAALLL

HOW WILLT WAHLUIGI WIN?!

FINDE OUT NOXT TIEM WITH BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

BARRY VS DIGERTZ

CHAPTER 19

phoenix drive

waaaaaaaah" cried babynick

"waaa wat are we gonna do" said waluigi

but then baby nick took over and drove down to the US election place and voted for paul atishon so he won and the wall got taken down and he could drive again

and he got back in time to throw a giant bowser shell at hotlaydys kart which got her stuck

and then he drove around until he got onto lap 7 cause the REAL baby park has SEVEN laps not FIVE

===FINAL LAP===

dun-dunDUNdundundun WHEW WHEW WHEW WEHW

teh music sped up and babynick drove faster to get to teh line but oldlady got free from the shell and was driving to it

AND SHE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO IT

"WAAAAAAAAAAA" cried babynick and holyladys ears bled and she died so babynick

AND BABYNICK TEAM WON

with hotladdys death the land of youth became back to normal, so it was just land

teh babys turned back to adults except baby mario who cried a lot

"wow dat was weird" said phoenix finishing his milk "baby we should go back to fighting kek owens now?"

"yea that would make sense" said ronan

"wait" said phoenix and he did the thing and minty was back

BUT MINTY CAME BACK INSIDE GUMSHOE AND GUMSHOE EXPLODED EVERYWHERE

"o well, well get a wizard to bring him back" said phoenix

they went back the way they came and johnny was like "ohai penix"

MEANWHILE

"AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed greatfan the heavy metal jesus playing his damalan like a metal guitar and he danced in the sun "TEH SUN IS BALL OF ENERGEY SO NOW WITH SUN ENERGY AND JESUSS HOLY WATER ILL B BACK"

phenix got back to egypt but there was somthing strange

they went back to the town where they met greatfan the jesusboi when they ran into MILES EDGEWORTH

"wat are u doin here wright" said edgey

"im hunting for kek owens"

"kek owens u say, we arrested some bearded guy who knew something about her, but he wont tell u unless u defend him in court"

"ok"

so phoenix team went to the egyptian detention center

"hi" said minty who had to say something

"helo there littel ordinary bois" said beard

"were here to defend u" said phoenix "we dont believe u cud be capable of murder"

"WHAT" shouted beard getting angry "YOU JUST DONT APPRECIATE MY MURDER SKILLZ"

"AAHH" sorry shouted ponix

"wat wud u know, u are an ordinary level student, u wudnt comprestand my abilities to murder or kill or fite or stuff u just listen to sterotypers tats right u tink just cause im mee i have no strength or evil will well u r rong, peeople like me are human too, i am equel to all four of u just cause ur different, in fact im better tahn u all sins i was a higher level student and minty needs glasses so hes inferior too, so FUK U PHENIX WRIGHT, KILL YAUSELFF!""

"well fuk u" said phoenix

"phoenix no, he knows about kek owens" said ronan

"yea" said ron "we should help him or he wont tell"

"ughhhhh fine" said phoenix "beardboi, ill defend u in court"

"gud" said beard

phenix stared behind tat beard, who on earth could this mysterious person be and how does he know kek owens?

phoenix went to the investigation place to look for evidence

he found a knife with the victims blood on it

"hey you" said a fat blak guy who wasnt bielal "do you know who i am"

"uhhh no" said phenix and den guy stuck up his mid finger

"WELL GUD, CAUS TEH LAST TING I WANT IS INSECURE CHILDREN KNOWIN WHO I AM, YE HERE?"

"wtf im secure, i got bodygards" said phenix pointing to ron ronan and minty even tho minty keeps dying

"PENIX WRITE, U ARE TEH MAN WHO BECAME LAWYER AGAIN IN DUAL DETSNIYS, HOW DOES IT FELL BEIN PART OF GAEM BEIN BAD?"

"wats dual detsniys" sid phonix

"DONT ASK ME, I DONT WANT ANYTIN TO DO WIT TAT PILE OF TRASH, NOR DO I WANT ANYTHIN TO DO WITH PEOPLE LIKE U WHO ARE IN IT, OR PEPLE WHO LIKE IT, U PEOPLES ARE INFERIOR LIFE FORMS TAT I DESPIIIIIIISE" shouted man

"wtf, u suck" said minty "who even are you"

"my name is IMPORT AUSTRALIA. remember dat name, cause its teh name of one of teh FEW SANE MEN ON ERTH"

"how teh fuck are U sane"

"HOW DARE U MOCK ME?! IVE BEEN THROUGH SHIT, LIKE ALL MY FRIENDS KILLING DEMSELFS AND I SUFFERED TEH HORRIBLE COMMUNITY OF LEAGE OF LEGENDS, SO U MUST PITY ME"

teh four just stare at teh idiot tryin to get attention

"FUK U PHOENIX, IM TESTIFYING AGAINST YOUR BEARDBOI, CAUSE I SAW HIM MURDER TEH VICTIM"

and he ran to edgeworth so he could testify

THE NEXT DAY

pheonix ronan ron and minty went to court not sure why i bother bring minty into tis since we now digertz will replace him with gumshoe next chapter

they stood at the defense bench and edgeworth was prosecuting

"court is in session" said udgey "for the trial of beardboi"

TO BE CONTINUED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

ch 20

dat bearde doe

"court in is session" sys udgey "for teh trail of beardboi prosekekution?". "im hore" sys edgeywarth. "alri den, lets git a lotta triale dunn" sys udgeey.

"FAR MY FIORST WITNESS I SUMMONE iMPORT aUSTRALIA" sys edgey. "ooh, dats petty gud" sys de peops in stands. "ordaaaar" sys udgey + gravel. "hmm, is dis goingk sumwhore with dis black gai in court" sys udgey.

"wtf udgey, u racist?" sys roanna juicy. "oh shit" sys udgey hand he was taken outta chort 4 racistism. "heares a REAL eyjipt judge" and balif put camel on udgeys chaire. "anywoy, de importenet thingk is... TEH MURDER WUS IN KEKEK OWENS CLASSROOOOOOM!" sys edgy.

"woah, dis is gettingk prettee hard" sys foenix. "now my black froned here is gonna tell us..." sys edgey BUT PHOENIX OBJECTIONED. "OBJECTED!" OBJECTIONS PHOENIX. "r u racist edgy?" sys phoenix. "wtf, oh shit" and minty tooke edgey outta de chort! "yeees, if dares no prosekekution i win!" sys foenix but den there prosekekution.

"hi pal, im teh new proskekutor" sys gumshue. "wat, how?" sys foenix. "a wizaaard did eet" sys gumshu. "oh dat makes sonse" scrims apollo. "CAN I JUIST TALKKE U STUUPID PEOPS FUK U WHITEYS" sys import australia. "r u racist import?" sys foenix. "yesh" sys import. "ok, honesty is teh importaaant" saids baliff.

"su i was in classe wit kek owens WHEN SUMBODI STAB MARK SARARANUS AND IT WAS HIM" sys import pointingk beardboi. "wat, U R INFERIOOOOR 2 POINTEY AT MEEEE" sys beardboi. "oh shit oh shit oh shit" sys foenix. "HEY INFERIORER ATORNEY DEFOND MEEEEEE" sys beardboi.

"ok" and poenix presed everythongk wwhich is 1 line. "oh shit, dis is bad" sys foenix. "cume on pal, i knaw u can do" sys gumshu strumingk guietar liek dat sexi boi gavin. "oh ur rite" and foenix presonts teh knoife.

"looke at dis, teh fingorprints are wierded THIS MEAAANS SUICIIIIDE!" sys phonix. teh crontadiction was so sttronhgk paynes haair flew al de way ovar teh ocean 2 chort room. "nuuuuuu my testimoooonies!" sys import. "ok ill amen d it" sys import.

"kek owans gab 2 muche homewurk su mark suidided" sys import. "OBJEEEEECTIUN! SHE JUIST GAB DE SAM HOMEWORKK 2 DAYZ IN ROW!" sys foenix wit marks coppy. "oh shit" sys import. "Also, teh clossruum wit bloody was diffront frum dere noramll 1 (theyre in new clas almust ebery day]" sys foenix.

"su wat" sys gummyshu. "IT MEANS TEH DOORE WAS ON OTTER SIED OF DE ROOOOOOOOM" sys foeniix. teh crowd was su mad with ecitement dey wont to thrae. "dat means studont in wrong seats, kek gets hangry wen dey in wrong ceats AND SHE MUKS MARK SARARARARARARARARANUS SUIDIDIDE!" scrim foenix.

import wus blowney bak wit winde and stuff. "deres only 1 moar Questuin, WHO R U RLY?!" and foenix run ups 2 pull his face off. import try 2 escaap but gummyshu holds hime. phoenix pluls face off and it was NICK CAAAAGE. "oh shit, wrong face" and foenix pulsl dat 1 off 2 reveals... KEK OWENS. deres nu blak peopls in kek ownes class cuz she teh racist, su u had 2 be kek owens!" sys foenix.

"KEKEKEKEKEKEK" U THINGK U FIGURE OUT PLAN?!" sys kek owens. plan was 2 git dat 1 off wit lighter crime!" sys kek pointing at beardboi. "wat" sys ron. "BECUSE DATS TEH REALS KEK OWEEEEENS!" and beardboi pluls fac off 2 reevouls kek owens fac. "yeh, double jepordy wulda saaavd me frum asistont suidide, which is waaaay worse dan murdeeeers if u hadnt atorney gud foenix" sys kek owens.

"does dis menes im naht inferiror?!" sys foenix. "nah, CUZ IMMA ESCAAAAAP" and keks strats 2 runny. b4 kek gets at door CAMEL UDGEY SPITS AT HER HAND SHE FLALS OVEEEER. "u may hab gutten me, BUT ULL NEVAR CATCH AUSTRILIAN KEK OWEEEEENS!" sys kek owens. phoenix luuk at gummyshu whu had noone in hands. "surry pal, buttar fingars"

WILL DEY GIT AUSTRILIN KEK OWENS?!

FINDE OUT WIT BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

BARRY VS DIGERTZ

CHAPTER 21

black and white

"gotta go now bye" said kek owens and she and australian kek owens ran away and phoenix team were chasing him

"look phenix" shouted ronan pointed up and tehy saw a PLANE COME DOWN WITH CLEANY DRIVING IT

"OHHH NOOOO, THEYS GONNA GET AWAY" shouted phoenix and he tried to catch kek owens b4 she cud get in, but the plane landed

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeheeeheeeheee" cakkled kek owens like a witch "gudbye phenix wright, im gone to plot EVIL STUFF"

"EVIL STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF?!" shouted phenix "owait, u already said tat" cause he forgot she was demon and she flew away

minty tried trowing a rock at the plane, AND IT HIT IT, CAUS MINTY IS AWESOME, WAY BETTER DAN GUMSHOE! the plane landed in teh mountains, and it blew up

===THE MOUNTAIN OF PLANE CRASHES===

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed cleany, but kek owens was a demon so she used magic shield to protect tem from teh blast

"o tank u kek owens" said kek owens of australia

"it was eazy, cause im magic demon, btw where are we"

"were on the mountain of plane crashes"

"where dat" said cleany

"australia"

"wow ok"

they climbed down the mountain and bet up a kangaroo and jumped in his stomach and named it ricky

"lets go kill phoenix, ricky!" said kek owens and ricky put on his gloves and bounced to find phoenix team

===PHOENIX===

"wow pal" said gumshoe "how are we gonna get to australiAAAAAAAAAAAAH" he screamed because a hole appeared in teh ground below him and he fell in like paul atishon in civil turnabout revolution

"u wanna go down tere" said ronan

"nah" said ron "well just wait til digertz takes over"

"but tehn ill be ded" sid minty "well tecnically im ghost i think i dont even remember any more"

===KEK OWENS===

"hey excuse me suh" shotued phoenix cuase a guy on a camel was driving past "can we ride with u to australia"

"heh heh heh sure" said the guy suspiciously but they didnt notice so they climbed onto the camel AND THERE WER TWO GUYS INSIDE

the guys pointed their guns at phenix team

"give us all yer moneys boi and noone gets urt" said man in black

"please" said man in white

"NO" shouted phenix and he tried to get out but the door was locked and man in black pointed a gun at minty "now barrylawn if u dont want ur favorite caracter getting killed harder dan digertz ever cud STOP WRITING DIS FANFIC AND KILL DIGERTZ SO TEH WORLD WILL END"

what fuck you

"u want him ded?"

o no, god dammit shud i kill minty or digertz, DIS IS SO HARD

but i didnt have a choice, so i went to digertz house to kill him

"knock knock" said the door

cum in pal" said digertz

i went to open it but there was a camel in the way

hey pal, could you get outta the way, i kinda need to kill digertz

the guy looked down at me and i instantly recognized him AS THE GUY DRIVING THE CAMEL WITH PHENIX IN IT

so i broke down the window and got on the camel and the man in black was distracted so phenix punched him in teh dick

"OWWWWOWOWOW" shouted black

"are u alright my good friend" said maninwhite "phoenix wright, i am sorry, but i must shoot your friend, please forgive me"

"ok" said phoenix and white shot him but it didnt do anything cause minty really was still a ghost lol

"oh no, this is not gud, i have run out of bullets" said white

"FUUUCKKCKUCKECUKUCKU" shouted black

"you shudnt sware" said white

"FUK DAT!" shouted black "remember us, phenix wright, SOME DAY, WE WILLGET YOUR MONEYS!"

they jumped off the camel and ran so phoenix took over the camel and rode it to australia

"hello" siad ronan "anyone here a teaching gril named kek owens, pls tell us, were here to kill you"

"i am kek owens" said a kangaroo

"no ur not, ur a kangaroo" said ronan

"no not ricky, I AM KEK OWENS" shouted the two kek owenses getting out of rickys stomach

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

ch 22

"BLUUUUUUUURGH" pukes ricky teh kangrooos. "it wuld be easy if we juice road bakk of kangaruuny instoad of in STOMAAACK" sys kek owens. "lol u dumb" sys austrlien kek owens drinkiing fosters. "can we git on wit dis olredy?" sys foenix.

"yeh, i knaw im gonna dieting sumhow or whatevar" sys minty. su ricky eat minty cuz he lieks mint flavor. "OH NOES MIIIIIIIINTY!" sys barrylawn whu was outsiduv my hoooouse. "alrite lets gu on advonture, 2 SAVE OUR PLALS!" sys me thruwingk doore opun.

"ok, letz go 2 HELLLLLLLLLL" sys barrylong. su i opnend my basmont and we jump in.

CELLAR 1

"why dafuq are wlals coverd in blood n' stuff" sys barrylong. "iunno, i dunt come down her much" sys me. "alri letsa gu in 1 of dese rooooooms" sys barry.

1 FLAAAAR LTR

"y ur bruudahs down hear & evilz?" sys barrylongk. "yeh, i dunt cum dawn hear" sys me.

IUNNO 8 FLAAARS L8TR OR SOMETHING

"hey mega satin can u bring ur frionds bak or whatevar" sys me. "HAHAHA U GOTTA BEAT ME IN BUTTLE FIOOOOOOOORST!" sys mega satin. su i drop kick him and barylawn thru bread him. "damn, ok dat hurts. ill bringk ur friooonds bak" su mega satin broing bak gumshu, minty and a guy for presidont or whatevs.

"ok, bak 2 teh storiieeeeeeeee!" and me held R.

IN DE AUSTRLIEEEES

"u cnant win now kek owensssss!" sys gumshu. "yeh!" sys minty and he POSSSOOSSED RIKY. bang bang bang ricky ponches bullets or whatevars "u cnant beeet me with ricky powaaaaaars!" sys minty. "haha but you naht ghost anymoor" sys kek owens and uses deamon powars 2 kille him. "MIIIIINTYYYYYYYY" scrims barrylawn. "eh git him noxt chopter" sys me.

"u cnant beat us cuz DEAAAAMON POWARS!" sys kek owens. "did u juicts say DEAAAAMON POWAAAARS?!" scrims fanboi. "oh shit" sys kek owens. "DATS. NAHT. WHAT. JESUS WAAAAAAAANTS" and fanboi turnys in2 death christ 2000 BC. "DIE FUUKEEEEER" sys death christy and shoots misiles kek owens.

but austraaaalien kek owens thruws gale boomerang and misiles git bblown up or somethingk. "hey pal, dis dosnt luuk gud" sys gummyshu. "yeh, so id bettar help out" sys foenix. Su heputs on big foam finger and startls objectingk kek owens. "ow ow ow" sys kek ownes whon foenix poke her.

"damn dis gonigk nuwhore" sys australian kek owens. "lets fuuuuuuuuuuuse" sys kek owens. "oh shite" sys bielal. "WATCH UR FUKIN LANGUAAAAAAGE" sys death jesus. but cause jebus was turnny aroond DEY DID FUSION DAAAAAANCE. "haaaa. u cnant beetroot me noooooooow!" sys kek owens.

"Oh shit" sys death jesus and he exploads frum demon powaars. "dere powaaar is 2 big pal! letsa ruuuuuun" sys gumshu. "naht su fast!" sys kek kek owens. kek kek owens bloaws up all of dem excopt foenix. she was aboot 2 kille foenix but she saw 2 guys in suits. "damn i hate suitys" she sys.

foenix flutes and flyong bear cums along. "LETS GUUU MOOOOOSH" sys foenix and tehy fly away. "damn, if only we ware ultimotum lightform we culd fly" sys kekek owens. "keeepe floying mooosh wat we gonna DOOOOOO"

WAT WILL POENIX DU?

FINDE OUTTA NEXT TIEM WITH BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

DIGERTZ VS BARRYLAWN

CHAPTER 23

CIVIL TURNABOUT

moosh landed next to teh ocean near some village

"tanks moosh, but now wat am i gonna do, everyones ded" said phonix

just then dimitri came out of the ocean and someone was riding him

"NAHYUTA" shouted phenix "halp, my friends and gumshoe are ded, pls help"

nahyuta threw his rosey beads on the ground and did teh hand thing

"satora imaran twosharr dramasushi SOREKA!" he muttered "HRNGH!"

and then the beads lit up and ron ronan and minty came out

"hey pal" said gumshoe coming out but satans claws came out and dragged him back to hell

so they went into the village and everyone was a kangaroo because australia

"hi" said kangaroo "im bobby, wats ur name"

"phenix"

the kangaroo gasped and bounced away

phenix team went into the house and got the kangaroo money, the currency used in kangavillage

so they went to the shop but turns out the guy they robbed was cheap caus everything was too expensive and the kangarookeeper kicked them out of the shop onto the streets where they lived cause they had no money

"dammit, wheres moosh, we gotta go home" said phenix

however moosh had gone flying to space, and phoenix didnt have the magic flute so he couldnt call him

just then THEY GOT KICKED BY A LOCAL THUGAROO AND THROWN INTO ITS STOMACH AND IT HOPPED AWAY WITH THEM TO A PLACE

it went up the elevator and stopped at a hallway

there was a door labelled "mayoroos secret hide out office" except secret hideout was crossed out like the guy made a mistake

there was also a door labelled "evil accomplice guest" but evil accomplice was also crossed out because whoever wrote these signs is a dumbass

thugaroo went into the guest room and threw phoenix team in and there were two guys on the couch, IT WAS GUY IN BLACK AND GUY IN WHITE

"soooo pheonix" said black "we saw ya flyin with a blue monster earlier"

"to get straight to the point, sir, that means you likely have a magic flute" said white

"yea, and dat can make us lotsa money, so and er over and we wont cut yer throats"

"fuck you black, at least white is a genteelman" said ronan

"why thank you, my sir" said white because saying thanks is polite "it is most regrettable, but we must demand the flute"

"GIVE IT ERE" shouted black

black suddenly had a gun in his hand and white elegently took his gun at his pocket and gave a polite smile as he pointed it at phoenix

"BUT WE DONT HAVE IT" shouted phoenix

"it would be most unfortunate if i had to kill, so please give it to us" said white

"GIVE IT ERE" shouted black

"it is rightfully ours, you see" said white

"NO" shouted phoenix "and we will prove this... IN A CIVIL TRIAL!"

suddenly the room turned into a courtroom

"cort is in session" said judge

"the defense is ready your honor" said phoenix

"of course im ready u fucking idiot, kill yourself" said black

"no" said udgey

"o" said black "well sit there and keep quiet, i call the plaintiff to teh stand"

white came

"hello there, dear courtroom" said white

"yea yea, fuck the formal stuff just testify" said black

"your language is rather unacceptable, but i shall testify as you wish" said white

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

"we purchased a magic flute at bald guys shop, but phoenix stole it"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "but i dont have it"

"you hid it you asshole, give it back" sid black

"hmmm... do you have proof that you bought it"

"well no, you see, it was black who bought it"

phoenix slammed the desk

"black, show me proof that you bought it!"

"ummmmm" sweated black "n-no fuck you im de prosector, i dont need proof"

"yea u do" said udgey

"SHUT UP OLD FUCKER" SHOUTED BLACK

"ah, black, dont you think we should go back to the shop and get the proof"

"NO" shouted black "YOU GET IT"

"but he won't recognize me" said white

"BUT HELL RECOGNIZE MEEE"

"black if your not hiding anything then u should have no problems going" said phoenix

"uuuuuuughhhh" moaned black and he slowly stepped into bald guys shop...

"I WASNT KIDDING WEN I SAID PAY" shouted bald guy "NOW ULL PAY TEH ULTIMATE PRICE!"

AND THEN A BLAST OF LAZER CAME OUT OF SHOPPYS BODY AND IT ROASTED BLACK TO ASHES

"oh no, my poor friend" said white staring at the ghost of black who was really pissed off

"oh, so it was stolen, so you people have no right to the flute, so i rule in favor of the defense" said udgey

"YEAAAA" shouted phoenix taking the flute

"i suppose this is the part when black would say something like "badword you phoenix, we will be back!" correct?" said white and blackghost nodded and they left

"play the flute phoenix" said juicy

so nick played the flute

===SPACE===

"o, thats my music, gotta go aliens" said moosh

"WAIIIIT" shouted one of the aliens "take me with you" and the dust disappeared and it was MANFRED AND HENRIETTA!

TO BE CONTINUED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

"yeh sure, iwas juiscy takin lap arooond spaaaaaaaaace!" sys moosh. "k, we go wit" sys karuma and he grab ontu moosh wit hemrietta AND IT WUS SPAAAAACK ADVONTUUUUURE. "alri, letsa stahp herar fiorst" sys moosh.

DEY WERE ON PLANEET HTRAeEEEEE. "wat is dis earth" sys heriotta. "#lolno" sys moosh. "dis is htrae which is liek earth but wit localoooised capcom n' stuff" sys moosh. "wtf, dat cnant be reel de capcom hitlor policeu wuld be heare destructing teh plaaaac" sys karma.

"oh shite" sys moosh cuz hitlor capcom policeu ware destructing stuff. "HEIL AAI2!" sys 1 gai. "FAN SUBS & AFFICAIL TRANSLOTIONS ARE DE DEVILS WAAAAAARK" sys anodder. "wow. im evioool and evan i thonk dis is bad" sys karma. su he stratled 2 beet up teh capnazis wit henriotta.

"WHU BE BEATINGK UP ME MEN" sys sume emo in dark castumme. "meeeee" sys heriotta and she shoots him wit LASEEEEERS. "lol no" sys guy and he stahps de beam in midair wit haaaand. "wat is this BS" sys henriotta WHO WAS DEN PLULED 2WARDS HIM THRU AAIIIIIIR. "i kidnap u now" sys emo.

"NUUU HERIOTTA!" sys karma but instoad of gitting her bak he juice waches her be tacken away liek idjit. "We gutta roscue hur mooooosh" sys karma. "sure watevs" sys moosh AND DEY FLEW 2 GIANT SHIIIIIIIP. "shhhhh, we gutta sneek aroond hear" sys karmas. "yeh, cnant let nazis knaw if stuff happons wit guards" sys moosh.

su karma shoote all de guards 2 deeeth. "yeh, its naht liek deyll chek nin wit guards or stuff" sys moosh. "huw we gunna finde henriotta on dis ship de size of planut?" sys moosh. "um. we wlakl aroond untile we findey her" sys karmaa.

_MEANWHIIIIIIILE WIT HONRIETTA_

"MWHAHAHAH U CANT ESCAAAP FRUM DIS CHAIR" sys emo. henriotta wus stuk in chair 2 cloase 2 desk. "i willt now reade ur mind" sys emo. but henrioottas minde was 2 blanke 4 him to reade. "DAAAAAMN EEEEET" and he strats criing liek babby. "hey, dis desk is kinda tiite, wanna gib me sum room?" sys honriotta.

de emo was prayingk 2 satin & criing 2 muche 2 think and did it. "AHAAAAA" and she dous dropkicky on hime. "now I escaaapy" sys henriotta. she takes liek 2 steps and meeeats karma and mooosh. "wow dat was easy" sys honrioota and dey fly away.

AND SPACESHIIIP EXPLOAAAAAAAADS "wew dat was fun" sys karma. "letsa gu bak 2 earth" sys mooosh and dey du.

_ON EAAAAARTH_

foenix wus blowingk dis flute 100000 times a sec. "sorreee, i tuuk su long. tiem is weird in spaaaaaace" sys moosh. "hmm okay, lemmie juice fly 2 de noxt chapter" sys foenix and he try to git on mooosh bak BUT DERE WAS SOMETHINGK THEEEERE. "haha, eets naht de noxt chapter yet phoenix!" sys karma.

"KARMAAAA?! weren't u i spaaac?" sys foenix. "yeh, tri and figure outta wat happoned" sys henriootaa. phoenix rub chin and he had nu internots for strategywiki. "damn, i needa detoctive fuur somethingk dis hard" sys foenix so he dus secret magiks & sacrifoiced minty souls 2 summon a gumshoes.

"hey pal, wat u needed" sys gummyshu. "dese gais were in spaaaaaace and nuw dey naht" sys foenix. "hmmm" and suedeshoes tri to edgeworthey look "THEY GUT A RIEDY BAK ON MOOOOOSH!" he sys. "holy shite moosh u tr8tr" and foenix killis moosh.

"haha foenix u fools, MOSSH WAS UR SPIRIT ANIMALS! NOW U KILL TOOOOOOO" sys von karma. "wat" and foenix was kill.

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

"HAHAHAHAHA" laughed henrieta

"actually im alive" said nick

"WAT"

"tat was just digertz in denial cause gumshoe was the only one who died

"NOOOO" shouted henrietta and they ran to fite

however karma stood back and laughed

"ha ha ha, o phoenix u dont know who ur up against" and he pulled out his big gun

"OMFG YOU STILL HAVE THE GUN" shouted juicy

"no, dis is a special gun i got from the aliens cause i was in space and they have krazy technology, this is a TV GUN, IT SUCKS U INTO THE COMPUTER, AND YOUR GOIN IIIIIIIN" he screamed and he gunned them into the computer and they GOT SUCKED INNNNNN

"ha ha ha, now they shall face death..." said karma "IN LITERALY THE WORST PLACE ON THE INTERNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

===LITERALY THE WORST PLACE ON THE INTERNET===

they landed in a place

"where is we" said minty

"WELCOME" shouted 42 "welcome, phoenix wright, ron juicy, ronan joyce and minty to the ace attorney discord server, pls read the rules and stuff k thanks"

"hi guys im phoenix wright" said pheonix

"#circlejerk" said a guy in red who totally doesnt work with guy in black and white nooooooope

===SPEAKING OF THEM...!===

they sneaked into the house

"heh heh heh, now we gona steal dis shitgrils stuff and make the moneys" laughed black

"i do hope my good lady is okay with us taking her computer" said white

"who da fuck cares, just run"

"very well"

they picked up the computer BUT THEN THE GIRL WAS AT THE DOOR WITH A GUN

"DIE" shouted henrietta and she SHOT THEM INTO THE COMPUTER!

===INTERNET===

"k so we gota gtfo heer an kil karama" said minty

"minty pls stop spelling stuff wrong purposely" said a guy

"o sory" said minty

"wait ur voice is familiar" said phoenix

"yes, i am..." said the guy "JAKKID166"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" screamed phoenix "JAKKID166?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

but just then phoenix was kicked for spam

"WOW, howd he do that" said ronan

"yea, this must be the way out" said ron "SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-"

ronan was kicked for spamming

"hey wtf you kicked the wrong guy you little fuck" said jakkid

"o oops they look so similar" said red and he kicked ron too

"fuk the mods" said minty so he got kick too

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed guy in black and guy in white

"WELCOME to the ace attorney discord server guy in black and guy in-" said 42

"watever, wheres phoenix wright" said black

"black it is quite rude to interrupt someone, man, woman or bot" said white

"yeah black" said guy in red and he got banned (lol guess he WASNT with them oops)

and then white just clicked "leave server" to leave, wow that was easy, whyd u other guys have to be so bitchy to get out?

TO BE CONTINUED ON THE INTERNETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

DLC onlee

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS DRDIGERTZ

CHAPTER 27

NORMAL CHAPTER

BY BARRYLAWN

A/N hey digertz said sorry the last chapter was so long and weird and confusing, but dont worry, were goin back to normal now.

so phoenix wright was in elementary school with his 5 year old shitfriends

"bfiebfwpiqbfpr" said the child

"lol u guys are dumb" said phoenix cause they were element schoolers

"alrite class" said the student teacher, ron juicy "today we doin something REALLY exciting and fun. were gonna write SPEECHES" and he played videos of hillary clinton giving her boring speeches and he watched with a permanent grin on his face, wait, no, ron shes waaay too old for you "love is blind" no, love sees all, you deserve better than the witch of the US elections, and ffs stop looking at her THERE "ok ok fine, jesus" k thanks

so he switched to donald trump and decided to vote for the donald so he could get over hillary, thats how he became the trump supporter he is today, 13 years later

JUST THEN THE ALARM TURNED ON AND EVERYONE IN THE CLASS WOKE UP

"WHA-WUH-WHERES DE ALARM CLAWK?!" screamed sleepyboi, a kid who always sleeps during class and he flew his hand around the table looking for the alarm clock, knocking peoples shit on the floor

"EMERENCY EMERGENCY" shouted the pal, and the projector hit a video on the white board (a NORMAL one, not those shitty technology-like ones that everyone thinks is an upgrade.)

it showed security footage, and there was a CLOWN AT THE DOOR, AND HE WAS CARRYING A CHAIN SAW

"nowwww, u shitty littel elementarydearwatson schoolers, YOU SHALL DIE AT THE POWAH OF MAH SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed juicy hiding under the desk but the kids acted like there was a fire all over the school, and when theres a fire all over the school, they calmly stood by the door

except henrietta von karma, she stood up and ran away, just like the many other times they had a false alarm

they walked outside the school where every other student except henrietta was, so they were now safe

"hey wait" said phoenix "cant the clown come out here"

"oh"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed kids and they ran around in circles

phoenix ran into the school AND ALL TEH TEACHERS WAS DEAD

well, except ron juicy, because plot

===CASE 4: TURNABOUT CLOWNS===

THE DOORS OPENED

COURT IS IN SESSION

ALL RICE

"the court is in session for the trial of ron juicy" said judge

"i am ready your honor" said phoenix

"i am also ready" said the principal

"wats your name" said judge

"my name is miss kek owens" said kek owens "i am principle of phoenix elementary school"

"cake your opening statement" said judge

"juicy murdered all the teachers as a clown, i call my witness to the stand"

a teacher came in and left her books on the witness stand

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

"hi im ms holmes" said holmes

"im a teacher"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "THAT MEANS NOT ALL THE TEACHERS ARE DEAD"

"WAAAAAAT" shouted holmes

"but what does this mean"

"this can only mean ONE thing" said phoenix "ms holmes is a SUSPECT!"

"O NOOO" shouted holmes

"wow nice job phenix" said juicy "that was a real turnabout"

"well miss, did you kill the teechers?!" shouted phenix

"no" said holmes and she picked up her books and left

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "come back here!"

"fine" said holmes

"what could holmes have to do with the murder" said kek owens

"she could have killed them, because as you can see in the rules, only teachers can go into the teacher room, so it couldnt have been an intruder, cause hes not allowed in!"

"AAH" shouted kek owens

"now miss holmes..." said phoenix "EXPLAIN THIS CONTRADICTION"

"ummmmmmmm" holmes sweated "thats a good question..."

"(i gotter on teh ropes, she gotta be the real killer!)"

"O I KNOW" shouted holmes "the security cameras didnt see me go into the teacher room, so it wasnt me"

"OBJECTEN" shouted phoenix "the killer dressed as a clown, and we can confirm it was you by DNA test!"

"now confess... YOU ATTACKED THE SCHOOL"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed holmes

"NO" shouted kek owens "I WONT LET YOU"

and she attack phoenix but he had the chain saw in the court record, so he attacked her with it, and she died and went to hell as a demon

"ILLLL BEEE BAAAAACK" screamed kek owens

however in the drama, holmes grabbed her books very angryly, but most of them fell on teh floor, she didnt pick em up tho, and she storm to the door, swung it open, hit her fist on teh light switch and slammed the door, leaving them in darkness

"SHE GOT AWAY" shouted pheonix

"well if theres no killer" said udgey "i declare juicy GUILTY"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT" shouted pheonix

"NOOO" shouted juicy but phoenix pick him up "RUN JUICY, WE GOTTA GO INTO HIDING"

"AFTER THE MURDERER BOIS" shouted chief bailiff and 1000 bailiffs ran after phoenix and juicy

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

"RAN PHOOOOENIX" scrims ron. "ok den" and foeunix runnys wit him 2wards sleeepybois hose. "wait, dafuq is goingk on" sys bielal. "u knaw if u reade ch 26 u dumb fuck" says diggertz (my OC hez a koool gai wit quiff and ploys harmonica).

"PLOAAASE HOLP US SLEEPYBOI DE POPO R AFTOR US" sys ron. "lol nu, y shuld i" sys sleepyboi tryna go 2 sleep. "ILL MAK U GO TO TEH SLEEPP WITH MY LESSSOOOOOOONS" sys ron. "oh shite ok" and sleepyboi lets dem in and ron putteys him 2 sleepy wit his teachings.

"oh how unfartunate we lost em" saids gai in white. "were dem fukers at, imma kill dem 4 juist hiding" sys gai in black. "nuw nuw, dey bete us fare & squre" sys gai in white. "dafuq u sayin, in de hoode der is no fair" and gai in black stratled shootingk up de sky. DEN BIRDE WAS KILLLL. "NUUUUUUU BIRRRDE" sys sumbody behoind dem.

"Wat is dis mess, u gais shuldnt use ur guns liek dis" sys papa gummyshu (gumshus dad). "oh shite, its de brass" sys gai in blak suit. "yeh, ur fiered 4 being bad gai in black suit, and ur fiered gai in white suit 4 holping him" sys papa gummyshu. "FUK U AND UR SON AND HIS FRIOOOOOONDS" and gay in blak suit sware revonge. "eh ill cum along wit u pal" sys gai in white suit.

den papa gummyshu disapeared cuz he 1 shot. "i thonk we saf" sys dat boi whu watchy dem thru windowes and saw dem fired and dem goingk 2 git burgeir or somethingk. "oh cool, we gud then" and ron was aboot 2 leaf sleepybois hoose WHEEEEEEN.

KEK OWENS APPORED OUTSIED. "I can smelle runawys in hear" she sys 2 police squaad. "our fater who art in thank u runiing away is agoinst jesus" sys kid jesusboi. "PEG EET LAAAADS" sys dat boi and he riedes him unicycles rly ffast awey. "oh shite, bettor fellow him den" and dey all runs.

"HEEEEERES JESUUUUUUS" and jesusboi axes doore downe with cross. "u 2 slow dey already gut away" sys kek owens. "yeh BUT GAAAAAWD NEEDS A SHOOOOOW" sys jesusboi. kek owens wus alroady running tho. "POLIIIIIICE CTACH EM WIT ME" scrim kek owans and teh poliiiice ran wit her. Damon gant, jake marshalls and brucey boi.

ron pluled outty his lego gun and shoot BRUCE IN TEH HEAAAAAD. "NUUUUU BRUUUUUUCE!" scrims jake as he shaving and stratls 2 crying. "Quick while dey teh distracteds" sys juicy and dey run liek dey on fire. "SECRET ATORNEY TECHNICHUE! RUNNNNNING" scrims foenix and dey run.

"wait wtf, y if kek owens hear. wasnt she juiced in HELLLLL" sys bielal. "u know if u reade chpt 26 u dumb fuk" sys diggertz. "oh ok" sys bielal. BUT BECUSE BIELAL DUMB FUK TEH POLICE CAHUT UP WIT DEEEEEEM. "oh shite im de arrested" sys juicey. "damn, we goingk bak 2 chort" sys fOENIX.

_BAK IN CHOOOOOOORT_

"yeh u guiltee cuz deres no crimes" sys udgey. "I will new hand down..." trys udgey BUT DEN OBJECTIOOOONE."OBJECTIOOOOOONE" OGJECTIOOOOONES foenix. "wat dafuq u 5 yrs old, ur liek my grandsun wat u wnant!" sys udgey. "dats eaasiiii, i knew of crime ON TEH SCEEENE!" sys foenix.

"WHAHTHAT" sys crowd. "yeh, clowney is guilt of scaringk teh kids. "oh yeh, dats a crime" sys udgey. "oh wait didnt clown be holmesy?" sys udgey. "hmmm, WAT IF DERE WERE TWOOOOOOOOO CLOWNES" sys foenix. "oh shite, is dis recipe for turnbourt or sum shite" sys udgey. "RAAAAWR, YES IT IS" sys tigre cuz one shot. "oh ok, so deres 2 clownes" sys udgey.

"yesh, and whuus de only otter clonwe in AA?!" sys foenix. "Hahahaha! You got me pal!" sys moe teh CLOOOOWN. "y u scardy cat em moe?!" sys foenix. "i thaught it gud joke, but I soree. lock me up now" sys moe. "damn moe, hoensty is teh importante u free now" sys udgey. "oh shite tanks" sys moe.

"wow, i guess dis ends well den" sys datboi. BUT THEN HELLLLL HOLE OPEN UP AND DEY FLALLLLLLINNNNNNN!

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS DIGERTZ

CHAPTER 29

MOE THE CLOWNY CREEP

littlenix youngjuicy and dat boi fell into hell

"AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA!" laughed moe and he did the thing that the memestermeme of AAI2 did and he became EVIL CLOWN "AHA AHA HA AHA HAAAAA!" he cakkled "u all fell for my bad jokes, NOW I SHAL KILL U WIT TEM! wat did trilo say to ben? HI! AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AAHAAAAA"

"omg that is teh worst pun ive ever herd, im actually gonna get sik" said juicy

"well im five so i havent herd many punz so i think tat was funny"

"AAAAH, A FLAW IN MY CLOWNLYNESS" shouted moe and he ran back inside hell and dragged out homes

"phenix" shouted holmes "wat u did was unasseptable completely embarassin u are a fifth year old student not a first yeer old student btw i got engaged yesterday so now im more pissed off"

"lmao some poor kids made a really big mistake" said juicy

"HEY, it cud be worse, it cud be kek owens" said pheonix

"shut up" said holmes and she raisined the ded and the deid came out of the ground of hell and they were CLOWNS

"ehehehehe, it iz time for clowns to have theyre revenge on humanity" laughed simon kleyens

"ha ha, im gonna kill a buncha littel children now" laughed pennywize

"AHA AHA AHA" laughed moe

"phenix im scared" said juicy hiding behind nicks back even tho hes kid, but hes also the protagonist and juicys the weak idiot who was unlucky enough to be hanging out with him wen the fic started, so it makes sense

however, KEK OWENS FELL INTO THE HOLE TOO

"HA HA HAAAAAAA" laughed kek owens and she opened a portal "now i shall send you to teh future, and hopefully if i understand this time travel thing stuff, time will destroy because there will be two phonix and juicys and dat bois, even tho tehr is millions of dat bois on teh internet, BUT GO IN" she pushed phoenix team in

"hey" said holmes "dat is unacceptable, i was suppose to kill him, crap on u little shit" and she jumped into the portal after nick

and den the army of clowns ran in too

===FUTURE===

phoenix juicy and dat boi landed on a place

"where are we" said phoenix

they looked up and saw they were on a place called 4chan

"o ok"

they walked and saw a krazy thing, IT WAS AN OLDER PHOENIX, JUICY, AN IRISH JUICY AND A MINTY KEKOWNIAN MINION ABOUT TO BE GETTING HANGED BY DANK LENNYS (if u dont remember how dis happened, go read chapter 26)

"now, phoenix wright, ron juicy, ronan joyce and minty, you four have commited the unforgivable act of being NORMAL in our KINGDOM, teh only way to deal with this is to KILL YOU ALL OF YOUR NORMAL LIFES" said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"yes yes kill em kill em" shouted the 4chan people

"no we gotta stop dat" shouted phoenix

they ran and kicked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ͡° causing him to go blind

"( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" spammed the common folk who came to watch, and they ran to attack the past people

"o fuck, we dead" said phoenix and he prayed to god like his sherlock teachers taught him too

but just then GUY IN WHITE AND GUY IN BLACK CAME DOWN, AND THEY WERE FOLLOWED BY some red fat guy and a bag of money

the fatguy landed and he was like

"BURY ME WITH MY MONEY"

"i am sorry, but we visited your useless website for your money, so we cannot do that, it paynes me to say" said white

"yea fatass, go to teh gym" said black and he kicked man in the stomach and took his money

just then they realized there were a bunch of shitty memers

"HOLY FUK WHITE, KILL TEHM ALL AND TAKE THEYRE CASH"

they fought the faggets but they were dirt cheap 3rd rate memers so they had no money, but then they saw two phoenixs

"AHA, THE MAN WE TARGET AND HIS SON, KILL EM BOAT" shouted black

"i do not approve of the murder of children"

"wat, but u murder a bunch of them just now"

"that is very true, very well, i shall join you in this quest to kill another child"

"HA HA"

they ran to phoenix with theyr guns firing, they got a shot on gumshoe who was there for some reason, but they were stopped

WHEN A BUNCH OF CLOWNS CAME OUT OF THE PORTAL ABOVE

"AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA!" LAUGHED THE KRAAAAAAAZY CLOWNS

"THIS IS MOE, TEH LEEDER OF THE CLOWN ARMY" shouted moe "DROP UR WEAPONS MORTAL, AND LET US TAKE OVER TEH WORLD"

and he took out his clown tools and pulled out a gun and shot it at the internet wall in the background (the internet is 2D levels like inside bowser) and they jumped out of the internet

the world went dark and clowns like moe, AAI2 guy, it, and that clown in wario land 3 appeared everywhere, not just in america but australia ireland egypt and brexit too

"i bet they are working with kek owens" said phoenix "this is very dangerous, little phoenix and young ron and dat boi, u shud go home, where its safe, juicy joycey minty were going back to the real world"

"wait phenix" said young juicy "theres something else"

"wat"

"THERES AN EVIL TEACHER, HER NAME IS HOLMES, BUT SHES NO SHERLOCK HOLMES"

"thats probably a good thing"

"YEA, BUT SHES EVIL, LIKE KEK OWENS!"

"O NO" shouted ronan "wait, what if they meet eech other?"

"that would suck" said phoenix

past people left and phoenix jumped into the portal

BUT THEY WERE SHOCKED WHEN THEY SAW

THE BRITAIN FLAG OUTSIDE THE SCARED LITTLE BOI'S WINDOW!

===KEK OWENS===

"hey kek owens" said cleany "we have a guest"

greatfan came in with the guest

it was holmes and moe!

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

ch 30

"hey holmes i herd u the marry" says kek owensy. "yeh me and moe maaaariiiied" sys homesy. "yeh its rly holmeeeesy HAHAHAHA" sys moe. "den greatboi shooty him kill because he unholy laugh. su all de clownes evar died at once. "now dats in sayds I TAK OVER WAAAARUDO". So she did.

"OH NOES WARUDO WAS TAKEN OBER IN LIEK 3 SECOOOONDS" sys fonix. "WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYT?!" sys ronan juciy who is here now. "Hahahahaha, yesh. u must defeet all my leuntenants den me 2 free warld." sys hollidaygram of kek owens. "eviol ronan juicy in eirland, holemes in englands, moe in helllllle, big bad barry in teh pond and henriootta in atlantis" sys kek owensy.

"wtf, y henriotta in atlantis" sys bielal. "RAEDED CH 26 U LAZEEE FUKKKK" scrims every1. "ALRIIIIIIIIIIIITE LETSA GOOOOO" sys super mari whus here just cause. "oh shite, we juist got hear, how we gonna get on plane or somethingk, i got kno money" sys ron juciy. "I TURN INTO SEAL AND U RIEEEDE MEEEEEE" sys ronan. but he tries 2 seal but big bad barri stahpy him wit fish magieek. "Dameeet, i cnant seal" sys ronan.

"hmmm, wanana clals our son" sys ron. so dey trieed 2 but he was stucky in past of ch 16. "hmm I guess we just give up" sys foenix and he starts 2 sad. "fooooenix, foeeeeniiiiix" says ghost. "stfu ghost ima be sad rite now" sys phoenix. "nu, looke at me u fool" sys ghost. oh wow it was mai whu hadnt appeared sumhow in dis fic yet.

"when atorney feel bad dey shuld smile or somethingk, i forgetty, im kill" sys miaya fey. "ok den" sys foenix. "wat, is dere a wat 2 get to de fiorst lieunteant?" sys dat boi. "yeh, imma juuuuust" and foenix blowes whistles 4 moooosh. "oh hey bosse" sys moooshe flaling frum ski. "huhe wtf mooosh, y u crash" sys foenix. "uh it cuz i too fat, I cnant fliy anymooore. " sys moosh. "oh man, atorneys cnant stahp smilling" sys foenix to himself.

"alri, u go on treadmill and we go on, u catch up" sys foenix. "hey, we in british right, cuz flag" sys ron. "oh yeh, holmes is in british, we can just do it outta order" sys ronan. "hmmmm okays" so foenix and teh rons leave 2 finde holmes. but somethingk was weirded. "Why is dere call ofices everywhere" sys dat boi. "yeh, i smell curri" says bielal teh indians boi. "OH SHITE WE IN INDIIIAAAAAAA" sys foenix.

"uhhhhh, wat do now?" sys dat boi. "i wille showe u my hommeys whare i study scieeeeence" sys bielal. "hmm okays" syays foenix.

_AT HOUSE BIELALA_

"oh bielal, u broght fronds home, have sum curry gais" sys mommy bielal. "oh thanks mom, canwe get on de airlines 2 british" sys bielal. "ok have a gud trip" and bielal mom broght dem 2 etihad headyqoters. "bring dese gais 2 britains plz" sys bielals mom. "sure" sys indian apollo justdrunk and he got planes rdy 4 dem. "flite tower dis is etihad AA5 sucxs rdy 4 flite" sys apollo. "alrite, go fly" sys tower.

"hey dis is pretty kool" sys foeniix watching idians movies BUT DEN ANONCEMENT! "hey we just passed over a cloud" sys apolo. "what, can i watch my movie now" sys foenix. de herio is foenixs movie was doing big jump WHEN ANNONCEMONT! "hey, dats a contry over dere" sys apollo. "stfu, movie on" sys foenix. De guy was doing actions WHWEN ANONCEMONT AGAAAAAAIN. "hey, wanna know wat my fav colour is?" sys indian apolo. "AAAAAARGHHHHH" and foenix gets so mad plane exploads and he lands in nother plane.

"nioce of u 2 droppey in" sys guy in white. "yeh u stuppid atorney" sys guy in black. "oh shite, it u 2 from otter dimonsion!" sys foenix. "nah dats dem" sys guy in white pointingk at 2 at bak of plane. "hmmm, su who are u guys?" sys ron. dey plul off masks TO REVELS THEYRE BOTH MONFROD VON KARUMA. "huh is dis sum ch 26 shiet again" sys bielal. "yep" sys de 2 von karumas. "anywoy" dis is a kidnapping u fuks. and dey ware kidaaaaaaaped.

MEANWHILE WIT OTTER PEOPLES WHU WARENT KIDNAPPYD.

"hey ur a real gud invontor jeff" sys gai wwit glasses. "yeah, so imma escaaap from SCHOOOOOOOLE" sys jeff and he escaaaps frum boardingk schoool. "man it cold out here" sys jeff in winters. su jeff wandered aroond and it was hard to see sprites wit snow and stuff all over teh plaaac. "hey mokey u holp me?" sys jeff.

"[pay we wit bubblegum faggot]" sys mokey. "ok" and jeff paid him. "[dis way]" sys mokney. along teh way dey killed goats, roade lake monsters and evven slept in tent. "woah dis was kool advonture, going in dis monstar maze even" sys jeff. "[well ur bad dad is in dis lab]" sys moneky. "[imma pick up grills tho]" and he jumpys away.

"oh hey sun, soree i abandaned u and stuff, hear have a floying saucer 2 maek up for eeet" sys sciency dad. "oh hey thx dad" and jeff was kool kid now, wit his floying saucers DEN HE HAD DREEEME. "oh hey pal, wanna savbe us plz?" sys dreeeeeeme foenix. "oh hey ok" and jeff went to ware dey were kidnappod.

BAK WIT EVERY1 ELSE

"hey y u go 2 sleepeys for a sec drer?" sys 1karma. "yeh wat is dis BS, areunt u skared?" sys 2karma. "huh, nhat rly" grins foenix. "wtf" sys 1karma. "just waaaaait 4 eet" and foenix coconuts down. on 3 jeff burst thru plane. "oh man, i count wrong" sayds foenix. BUT IT DIDNT MATTER CUZ ITS STILL COOOOOOOL. "hey gais ill git u 2 englands" and jeff broght foenixs crew 2 englands. "oh hey can I be ur friond?" sys jeff. "no" sys foenix. jeff cri and go away. "poor 1 shot" sys bielal.

"heeeey foenix, ur baaak!" sys mr dankgowan. "oh hey fav teach, ur boke leg fioxed?" sys foenix. "yeah, i drank so much coffee its bettor" sys best teach. "can u get me 2 eirland 2 fite evil joycey?" sys foenix. "haha, sure foenxi" and he was drinking coffee. "alrite lets gooooo" but DEN FOENIX STEPPY ON HIS AGLET. "hey WTF WAS DAT?! DID U JUIST STEP ON ME AGLEEEEEET?!" and mr dankgowan puchy him so hard he flew 2 EIRLAAAAAAND.

"woah, atlost i here" sys foenix. but he was seporated frum his froinds.

CAN FOENIX DEFEATEDS EVIL RONAN ON HE OWN?!

FINDE OUT NEOXT TIEM WIT BARRRRRYLAAAAAAWN

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 31

ohai evil ronan

BY BARRYLAWN

"ok i gotta kill jocyey of evil myself" said pheonix, this was great caracter development of inpedendance

"hey you" said phoenix running to a man to ask him where he was and he turned to him and said

"o haiiii, phoenix" said the man

"ohai jonny didnt know it was you" said phoenix "where am i"

"i danno, somewere in ireland, i dun no why im here, i am america"

"damn"

johnny joined nick so he could get home

"so what are you doing here nick" said johnny

"im looking for evil ronan so the clowns dont take over the world"

"wow that must b really relaly hard" said jonny "so anyway hows ur sex life"

they looked around the place but ronan was very well hidden

the stopped at the flower shop to ask if they saw an evil looking guy

"anyting for my favorite customer" siad the woman "hes in that school across road, hes a teacher there"

"thanks for ur help, ohai doggie" said johnny and they went to the school

"wow they ur favorite and u havent even been there" said phoenix "but is that ur favorite shop too?"

"ohmmm... many places in the world." said johnny

they went into the school and it was THE SAME SCHOOL FROM CHAPTER i forget, but it was the ireland chapter where juicy met good joycey

they sneaked around classrooms til they heard a voice dat sounded like ronans

"henretta, CLOSE ur mouth"

"dats him" said phoenix

"o oky, should we fite with man bad?"

"yea"

they opened the door and peek inside and joyce was writing in henrettas jurnal

"wtf is she doing here" said phoenix

jocyey kept writing until he ran out of space on the page, so he went to next weeks section and the rant note continued

while he was writing, pheonix sneaked inside and put a bomb on his desk

"ok heres the jurnal back henrietta" he gave her back the journal

"(o no hes gonna see me ill never get this bomb turned on in time)"

"uhh sur this isnt my journal its bielals" said henrietta

"(yes now hell write in henrettas journal and remove the note from bielals!)" thougt phenix

"...o" said juicy and he gave the journal back to boilal

"(FUK!)"

joycey turned AND SAW WRIIIGHT

"AHA" shouted joycey "my TARGET!"

"SHIT HOW DIDNT I NOTICE HIM" shouted henrietta standing too

they cornered phenix but then johnny hit joycey in the head

"RUN PHONIX" shouted johnny and they ran but there was a guy in the way

"ohai mark" said phoenix and he picked up mark sananus and THREW HIM AT HENRIETTA

"YUP JAYCIE BAI" shouted mark and he was cancer, the doctors came and checked henrietta, but she definitely had breast cancer

they ran out but then henrietta didnt have breast cancer any more and she and joycye chased nick and jonny because they survived the mark

"ha ha ha" laughed joycye "nowhere to run now"

"ur forgetting ONE thing joycey"

"what"

"your forgetting that this school DOESNT HAVE A ROOF!" and then a helicopter appeared and a ladder came down and phoenix pushed off the guy on the secret mission and he fell and broke his ankle and phenix and johnny climbed the ladder

"mayoroo, there is a threat climbing the ladder" said a kangaroo

"it must be that phoenix wright piece of shit, send the missiles"

"ok"

the kangaroo launched missiles

"ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff" barked the missiles and they ate phoenixs lunch

"aww come on, now i gotta go to canteen" said phenix killing the missiles

"NO" shouted jocyey "i wont let u escap"

he climbed the ladder too put hetty missed it so she went back to her place

"johnny do you have a weapon" said phoenix

"i DONT hav any weapons, i do NAAAHT" shouted johnny "o wait is that bad?"

"yeah"

"fuck"

phonix had no idea what to do, either they go up and get kicked in face by kangaroos or down and get killed by joyce or really down and get killed by splat

but then he got an idea

he climed up to the helicopter and they got in

"DIE WRIGHT" shouted kangaroo

"ah no i wont, cause u forgot to prepare for RICKYS FLUTE" shouted phoenix taking out rickys flute (read chapter 26) and played it and the kangeroos got hypocrised and they all became ricky

then phoenix took control of the hellycopter and flew up an up an up an up and then johnny CUT THE ROPE LADDER OFF AND JOYCEY FELL

"bai bai joyce boi" said johnny

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" screamed joyce and he turned to squishiness from the fall

===AFTER THE SQUISH===

"ok phenix so we gonna go back to american now" said jonny

"no we gotta stop kek owens"

"o ok, i join u"

"hey wait, kek owens..." said phonix and he ran to the computer room where a guy was still shitposting on the snakes solid folder

phenix checked the place juicy told him about in chapter 26, and he saw the file, it was kek owens plan text document

he checked it

"GOING TO SEPARATE PHOENIX FROM RON RONAN MINTY AND OTHERS SO I CAN KILL OTHERS EASIER AND FEED EM TO BIG BAD BARRY"

"O NOOOOOOO" shouted phoenix

"dis isnt not gud, to oder country, NOWW" said jonny

===JOYCEY===

ron and ronan and minty were still at bielals house and decided to go look for big bad barrys pond

they search the place but couldnt find it

"damn where could big bad barry be" said minty

"AAAAAAAH" screamed bielals mom "YOUVE MADE A MESS ALL OVER MY HOUSE, GET OUT NOW" she kicked them out

"damn, gess we better look out here then"

they searched all around brexit until they eventually found a lake with a house next to it

inside was an old man and a parrot

"o heh heh hai keet" said the man barely asleep

"hey do you know wh-"

"HANDS IN DE AIR"

the door BUSTED DOWN AND A LARGE CANNON CAME IN FOLLOWED BY A TANK AND IT WAS MAN BY SIX HEAVILY ARMED GUYS WITH LOTS OF GUNS

"were here to take u to big bad barry old man" shouted the leader being very careful that the threatening man didnt move suspiciously "o and you guys too hes pretty hungry today"

all guns pointed at ron ronan and minty an they were taked away to big bad barry for lunch by the 6 dangerous and well prepared men

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 32

NINTENDO SWITCH HYPE

"hahAHAAA howdu liek beingks lunchy?!" sys 1 guy in a suit. "damn dis sucxs" sys datboi. "yeh, big bad barry is hungries" sys nother guy. "plz im alergies 2 fishe" sys bielal. "we must focus on escaaaping studonts" sys ronan.

"oh yeh, lets thinky" sys ron. "hmmm how 2 escaap..." and dey were aboot to plan but den THEY THROWN IN2 LAAAAK. "uh oh" sys bielal. AND JAWS MUSIC PLAY! "oh shit ima git eat by fishe" sys bielal.

Ronan turns intwos seal and ron grabbys on. "u frog cant u carry me 2 de bank?!" sys bielal. "oh shite now, i cnant leeaf my unicyles" sys dat boi. AND JAWS MUSICS WARE SO LOUD DAT DEY BLEW TEH SPEAKEEEEERS. "oh shite" sys ronan and he tries 2 fix spekers cuse teach insintcs but he too shite 2 do.

"oh man du we neeede a boat bad wright now" sys juicey. DEN BOATE APPOARS. it wa s mr beef teh drama teach driving teh boat. "hey guys, neede ride?" sys mr beef frum top of laddder with drilley in hand. "yesh plz" and eberybodies gits on. "yeh, musiec isnt as louude on boat" sys ron. dey ware just aboot 2 get bak 2 shore when... "WHO DAFUQ JUST THROWN THAT PEEEN?!" scrims mr beef and he almost flals off ladder.

Den big blue finsh JUUMPS out of water goingk even higer dan mr beef. "oh shite, cnant dis boat go fasters?!" sys bielal. "nah, eets liek goingk 2 de mooney wit jetpak" sys mr beef. Den big bad barry startls eatingk boat cuz fishe liek dat food. "oh handy manny we gutta fiix dis" sys bielal and team of handy manny, bob teh builder and fixet felix all trys 2gether BUT BARRY EAT 2 FAST.

"ABONDON SHIIIIIP" sys teh builders and every1 mite die or somethingk. "letsa keep goingk anyway cuz dis chupter is is too short" sys ronan. so dey kept goingk. "HARRRRD 2 POOOORT" sys mr beef and uther cool ship language but it was nu use. big bad barry ate su muche oh dat shippey dat every1 was on mr beefs ladder trying 2 escaaap.

"oh shite deres only 1 way out" so ron prays 2 god 4 a random 1 shot to save them. So den dis random minecracker or wahtever whu love fishe cam downe and stahpeed barry he wus liek aquaman or stuff. "hmm, dis fishe aint big bad barry, dis is juste sum random whales" sys minecrak guy. "Whaaaaaaat, was dis hole chpter a wastes?!" sys bielal.

"nah heres ur fishe" sys minerakets guy and gibs dem dis tiny fishe. "oh shite yeh, wears naht de size of elfs" sys ronan. so dey friod up fiesh and ate him for dinners.

MEANWHOILE WIT FOENIX

"y arent we dere yeeet?!" sys foenix. "CUZ DE TROILER FOR NINTENDO SWITCH WAS RELESED AND IVE WATCHED EET 10 TIMES ALREDY!" sys johnney outta sync.

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 33

THE GREAT DETECTIVE

"LAAAAAAAAAAND OOOOOOOOOOOOOHAI LONDON" shouted johnny as the boat stopped at london and he and phoenix got off the bote

"hmmm sumthing is strange here" said phoenix cause there was something different aboot london

they walked around and people werent in cars, they were in horse carriage things

"wtf, this is like labyrinthia, what happen" said phoenix

"well as they say, u nevr no til u look" said jonny so he looked and saw some guys in the trash

"hey you" said the guy

"hey, ur the capcom guys from htrae" said phoenix "i shud kill u"

"no pheenix we needto b gud 2 each oder for a little bit, ull see soon soon i hope" said capcom disappearing

phoenix and johnny went to get on a horse when a guy in black and gril in peenk came out, but guy in black wasnt the asshole guy in black...

"wait have i seen u 2 before" said phoenix

"yes, i was on dat cover for DGS, my name is ryuunosuke naruhodo, and ur my grandson ryuichi naruhodo"

"WAT" shouted phoenix "wrong, ruichi is that guy in that alternate universe, saibanland, where i went with maya in phoenix wright vs ryuichi naruhodo turnabout animay, its a good series by barrylawn u shud read it said digertz" said me i mean phoenix

"o oops, anyway im here to see the great detective homes, gregson told us he lives here"

"what" said phoenix and he turned and saw the great red door of 221b aker street the home of the great detective sherlock holmes

the gil in peenk, susato... something ran up the stares and opened the door

"HELLO SHERLOCK HOMES IM UR BIGGEST FAN"

"who there" shouted a voice and there was a woman in the seat glare at them

"wat ur not holmes, ur a bitch" said susato

"YA DAM RIGHT IM HOLMES, IM JANE HOMES, THE GREAT DETECTIVE OF LONDON" shouted holmes "i protect this misty town from threats like the specter, wait rong game, i defend people from evil intended men, like the infamous six heavily armed men who attack random weak guys with their OP guns and cannons and tanks, some day i will solve tat mystery and epose them"

"well den ur definitely not holmes cause holmes wouldve solved it"

"ACK" shouted homes

"this can only mean ONE" siad phoenix "YOU ARENT SHERLOCK"

"NO" shouted holmes and she ript off her mask and it was HOLMES "you fucker, i thought my name would be a disguise enough"

she ran to the window but jonny threw a football at her head and she fell on the floor

and den lolly watson came and arrested her so real holmes could interogate her later

"thank u my good people, i am sherlock holmes the great detective, i know i should be at garridebs house snooping through his private shit right now, but holmes came and threw me in the attic, so yeah"

"hey why are we in past"

"hm that is strange, peraps ms homes did some timy wimy stuff to send london to past?"

"o i no" said jawnny "maybe kek owens had plan to send london to disappearing by goin back and back and back and back and back until there nothin left"

"wow thats a great idea jonny" said holmes "wait that means... WE GOTTA STOP ER BEFORE TOMORROW OR WELL GO BACK TO YESTERDAY!"

"ur right" said phoenix

"well no" said jonny "we should only have to destroy the london time reverser in kek owens secret throne room, that shudnt be as hard"

"okaykaykaykay" said lolu wotson "lets go find kek owens with my new holmesvention the cleany tracker"

"o dats gud investion little girl, cleenys kek owens person so he must be neer her very good yes VERRYYY GOOOOD little girl" said jonny

so sherlock got them a 1900s cab and they went to the london place where kek owens probably was

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 24

DrDigertz School Chapter

"alwrite, lets fallow dat traker" sys foenix. and dey do. "hei shuldnt we hab 2 time travel or whatevs 2 git 2 kek owensy?" sys wotson. "yeh, but nobady gits dat su letssa juice fic our wey thru dis" sys holmes.

on de way 2 throwney roome thoughs TIEM STARTLS 2 DUUUURP. "man i wishe i kuld kill drugs" sys wotson wehn he druged up wit tiem. DEN TIEM SPLIIIIIIIIIIITS IN2 UNIVORSES. phoenix was thruwn awey on his own 2 git away frum those shitty barreelown characters.

_WEN HE WAKEEES UP_

"RIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING EETS TIEM 4 EXTRA MAAAATHS" sys alorm cloke. "oh shite, its liek 2 hors earlier for getting up" sys phoenix. "Get up for sum maths" sys dis wumen wit hardey accont. "whu dafuq r u?!" sys foenix. "im ur new eoxtra mats teach ms Whoops" sys ms Whooops. "wat is goingk on?!" sys foenix. "u habe 2 git up 4 school faggot" sys she.

"woah, its 2016 u cnant said dat" sys phoenix. "CUM TOO CLASSS ALROADIES" scrims teach.

_IN CLASS_

"alwrighty students, ima teach u shit. now we gotta just um, uh put this um uh" and teach dont know. "miss u shuld just git a calcurator, why du u keep asking us 4 maths." sys 1 kid. "shut up and gimmie dem nums" systeach.

"hey miss du u do eet liek dis?" sys bielal whus hear because he is. "LOL NO I LIIIIIIED" sys teach. "wat ur a shit teach" sys bielal. "just holp us wit maths" sys 1kid. "wat its naht my faults, uu fixits" sys teach. "wtf, AM I JUST STUUUPID?!" sys boi. "nah the question is hard" sys teach.

"I CANT DEAL WIT DIS ANYMOOOOOORE!1!" and foenix runs. "ware du you tink ur going FOENIX? U OWE ME AN ESSAYS ON DRUUUUGS!" sys ms holmes in his way.

WAT WILL FOENIX DO?!

FINDE OUT NEXT TIEEM WIT BARRYLOWNEY

Chapter Text

LARRYBAWN VS DRDIGERTZ

CHAPTER 35

TURNABOUT FLAGS

WHAT WILL PHOTIX DO, YOU SAY?!

ILL TELL YA WHAT HE DOES!

HE DID WOKE UP!

"it was all just a dream" he shouted but sherlock was still there "god dammit"

"ok so now that granddad just spent almost a page in that nightmare lets go to the kek owens place" said ryu

they went to place but kek owens was GONE

"o right, we still have those other guys to catch" said phoenix

however cause kek owens was gone the switch to go back to normal time was there and easy to press so they hit the switch AND THEY WERE BACK IN 2016

"hey wtf, were still here" said iris

"damn u stupid phoenix u took us with u" said ryunosuke

"oops" said phoenix but just then

"HANDS IN DE AIR" shouted someone and they were INSTANTLY SURROUNDED BY THE CAPCOM POLICE!

"ryunosuke naruhodo, u bois are under arrest for being localized DGS!" shouted the please and they threw ryu susato sherlock and iris in the police car and took em to the secret prison

"SHERLOOOOOOOOOOCK" shouted phoenix

"waaaargh, teh stupid police, they are stupid STUUUUUPID poliiiice i sue dem i send them to HELL ohai guys" said johnny and then juicy joycey and minty ran to him

"phenix ur back, did u kill evil me" said ronan

"yes, but now is not de time for dat, we gotta save the real SHERLOCK HOLMES"

"O SHIT MAN" shouted juicy "sherlock holmes is a famous detective!"

"yea i know, we gotta chase the capcom police"

so they chased the capcom police across the ocean until they were back in ireland because idk

"where dey go, dis is bullshit game of hiding" said johnny

"hey look guys, theres a stone here" said minty and they read what was on the stone

"here lies chief comcap, the chief of the secret capcom police, legends say that if u make a large image of the flag of dis land in the white square over there the secret base of capcom police department and prison will be revealed"

"woah" said phoenix "ok, so we gotta make the american flag?"

"no u stupid cunt, this is ireland MY home" said ronan "we gotta make the irish flag which is orange white and green"

"but how we do that, we dont got paint" said minty

"gawd question, wat to do wat to do" jonny walked around in circles thinking out loud

"well lets tink outside the box" said phoenix and he ran across the red laser train in spirit of jesus for his turnabout

"we dont have paint to make the flag, so if we cant use paint we gotta use something else, but what..."

he selected his answer and the truth was elegently revealed to him

THE FLAG CAN BE MADE WITH RONANS STUDENTS

phoenix returned to the real world and explained the plan and then ronan came back from the school with an army of people waring orange green and white

and red

and grey

and purple

and technically orange

perfect

they got into groups by orange white and green, they decided to have the other colors be a flag pole but they didnt really care enough and some of the other colors got in other places, o well, it looks good enuff

phoenix tried getting everyone to look ireland flaggy enough it was tough he had to cross examine a bunch of poeple to get them to go to right place

eventually something lit up and something apperaed

"hey look guys its a ladder"

"no stepladder"

"WHAT"

they all fought over what it was as a ghost in a suit appeared

"greSTEPLADDERings travLADDERers my name is STEPLADDER and i LADDER to tell STEP where FUCKING are LADDER located under th FUCK YOU BITCH ITS A STEPLADDER thank u for listening"

"wtf guys shut the fuck up" said phoenix because the students were arguing so loudly and he didnt hear it "hey mr idk what did u say?"

"u should have been paying attention boi" said mr idk and he left

"NO, CATCH THAT MAN"

and then someone jumped out of the green people section, it was luigi, and he used the poltergust to catch the ghost

"thank u luigi, well interrogate him now" said phoenix but then he saw the ghost blinking red like a radar, they must be near the prison

"dont worry mr holmes well save u from crapcom!" shouted phoenix and he and the army of ireland students ran to the stairs that appeared under the stone and ran into the prison

meanwhile in the prison cleany was in his office watching phoenix solve the puzzle through security/spy cameras

he sipped his tea, he was ready to kill this man and impress kek owens so maybe he cud get pussi after this

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

CH 36

TEH FUHRER MEETS KUNG FUHRER

"hey foenix wat we du now" sys dis 1 gai frum irelonds. "how dafuq shuld i knaw" sys foenix. den de kids started chant "MY DAD LEFT MEEEEE. MY DAD LEFT MEEEEE" . phoenix lughs hat them. "Anywai we shuld finde our wey out" and foenix leeds teh way.

"oh shite we loast" sys phoenix cuz dis prison was BIIIIIIG.

_IN CLEANYS RUUM_

"HAHAHA! DEYRE LOST AND TEH SHOW IS DED SO THEY R TOO" sys cleany. "damn i hope i can git dat pussi now" sys cleany. "yeh, u did gud, ill cum ur wey now" sys holmes. "OH SHIZZLES YEAAAH" and foenix was hyped cuz teachs dunt git pussi.

_MEANWHILE WIT RONAN_

"Damn i gut all dis pussi, wares phoenix" sys ronan. ""yeh, its like we being kicked outa fic" sys bielal. "nah dat wuld nevor happen" sys minty who died just cuz.

_BAK WIT CLEANY_

"OPEN UUUP" sys sum persony banging on doore. "oh shite, whu r u" sys cleany. "holmes" sys holmes. "oh boiys" and cleany jumped 2 de doore. "ill let u in now pussi" and cleany opens doore to reveal PUUUUNCH! "haha im shurlock holmes!" SYS HOLMES.

"cleany wuld fite bak but he was so sad of no pussi dat he sat downe and cried instoad. "alWrite phoenix tak ur next wright" and holmes lead dem outta teh prison. "Whew i dindt even have 2 drop soap 2 get outta prison!" sys foenix.

"hey howd u git out" sys watson. "USING MY SUPERIOR INTELECT!" sys shurlock holmes. "wot" sys wotson. "elementry my dere watuns! i usyed teh intercoms, sometding only a teh gr8test detoctive could do!" sys HOLMESY.

"OBJECTIONE!1! PAL!" sys gumyshu, "de woarld gr8test ddetoctive is rite heeeere!".

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYLAWM

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 37

GHOST DAY

phoenix johnny ron ronan mintyghost and the irish guys left the prison after savin ryu susato iris and SHERLOCK HOMES

"we did great pal" said gumshoe but then A WHITE THING CAME DOWN AND CARRY HIM AWAY

"o fuck, im sick of this shit" said phoenix and they ran after the white thing

===EARLIER===

"ok so while cleanys trapping phoenix" said kek owens "ILL MAKE U ALL RISE FROM DE DED" she shouted and her hands raised and a bunch of white things came out of the graves, they were GHOSTS

===NICK===

phenix and johnny ran through the forest when they realized noone else was with them

"fuck, they didnt come with us into tis forest, sins its too scarey" said phonix

"it okay, feer is nutting" said johnny "let go find de ghost"

"how u know it ghost"

"cause johnney"

"o ok"

so johnny asked the trees where the ghost went and since he was teh trees favorite person they told him where it went

they followed its directions it was reely scary bats came out of trees and ther was lots of trees without leevs and scary faces and it was dark too

after hours of walking they saw a light and looked at the light

gumshoe was there surrounded by a ring of ghosts and next to em was

"AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA!" laughed moe the ghost who died since they replaced his hat with a bomb hat (read chapter 26)

and then the ground lit up and gumshoe DROP INTO HELL INTO FIIIIIIREEEE!

"O FUCK" shouted phoenix

"shhh they wil heer u if u scream" said jonny

"thats true" said phoenix "what should we do"

"we shud hm we shud HM we shud try jumping in"

"wtf u fucking idiot thats not gonna work"

"wel u know wat tey say, u nevah no, untal u triy"

"o dats tru" said phoenix

but then the ghosts came from behind AND PICKED THEM UP

"WHAAAAAAAAAT" shouted phoenix "howd u know we were here"

"cause we heard you scream dumbass" sad the ghosts

"o damn"

and then phoenix and johnny were THROWN INTO THE HELL

it burned a lot like really hot

"AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!" burned moe

BUT THEN EDGEWORTH CAME AND ATTACKED MOE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, JUST LICK IN DE NEW EPISODE OF ACE ATTORNEY HIGH SCHOOL BY MIXTAPAN, ITS A GREAT SERIES U SHUD WATCH IT IN DIS NEXT PART OF THE STORY

"EDGEWORTH" shouted phenix is pain and then edgeworth picked up moe and threw him into the fire and he burned as a ghost cause this was hellish fire so it can kill ghosts too

edgeworth put his hand into hole and jonny grabbed it and he got pulled out and phoenix too after he picked up gumshoes burned body

"NOOOOOOO GUMSHOE" cried phoenix at the blackly burned body of dick gumshoe

BUT THEN HE WOKE UP

TO BE CONTINUUUUUED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

ch 38

The first day of Ficmas

"woah, gud thing it was alle a dreams" sys foenix. "yeah, bekause dat reality SUXKED with me not being presidot!" sys DONAAAALD TRUUUMP. "oh shite, ur de presidont now?! wtff happoned" sys phoenix. "ahaha! i wuz de best canditite!" sys de Ronald Rump. su foenix ran.

"AHAHAHAAA KEEPE RUNINGK U LAWYORZ, HEAR CUMS DE WAAAAAAAL" and a wall dropped frum nowhere and amuricans was gr8 FOENIX WAS THE PANIKING "DAAAAMEET I GO TU SLEP (read ch 26) AND DIS IS WHAHT HAPPOOOOOONS?!" sys foenix trite. "yeh buut i still took over brexit" sys kek owens. "wut" sys foenix. "yeh, sumehow everythong dat happoned in ur dreme hapyened IRL, just trumpy wus electeds too" sys holmes.

"Wait arent u guys evils" sys phoenix. "dafuq u only getting dis now?!" and dey ware gunna fite him. "HIIIIIYAAAAH!" and phoenix went for teh drop kicke. "hahaha! u cnant beate me, i gut my new persons! ELEANÓIR!" sys kek owens. "huh, waht will she do 2 me?" sys phoenix in mid-air. "dats esy, SHE STEAL UR h AND wont GIVE IT BAAAAAAACK1!" sys ms holmes. "Whaaaht?!" sys poenix wrigte. "YES ITS TOO LATE I ALREADY STOLE UR hS" sys ELEANÓIR.

"oh site i cnant figt tis persons anymorr" saids poenix. so helicpters flew over "GRAB OOOON!" sys a persons at de top. "taaaaank yoooou" and de flew away over teh oceins. "alrite, lets go 2 drdigertz house" sys person on de helicopturs. "wat, is dat u penny nicols?!" sys poenix. "yeh, but its nichols" sys penny. "sorree, i cant say dat letter anymoares" sys poenix. "what?" sys penny and foenix strartls 2 tell her wat happends.

MEANWHILES WITH TEH AMERICAS.

"um its kinda borings in here with everythingk being a pardise" sys sum redneck. "TR8TR!" sys dis soldier in white armour wit a laser gun stick baton thing dat isnt a lightsaver. guy was thrown off wall in2 mexicos. "hmm, i see we hav problems here, even doe dis is perfect cuz none of or jobs r being stolen" sys trump.

"wat shuld we du?" sys TR8TR shouter his rite hand man. "hmmmm, we neede sum1 to help mak dis plaac even greater, like great enugh 2 MAKE AMERICANS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN DE WARUDOS!" sys trump.

BACK WIT POENIX

"mm, wats de date anyways" sys poenix. IT WAS TEH FIORST OF DECEEEMBEEER! "dafuq, I was sleeping 4 a looong tiem" sys poenix.

"su yeh, de world has gun 2 shite" sys nichols. "wat can we do? We gotta save tis stuff 4 cristmas" sys poenix. "What?" sys nichols. "X-mas u cameo!" sys foenix. "oh, i've ran out of screen time" and penny isnt in dis fic anymore.

"if imma win agoinst Rump and Kek Owens imma need te elp of my old friends" sys foenix.

CAN FOENIX FIND HIS OLD FRIENDS AND BEAT TEH BAD GUYS?!

FIND OUT WITH BARRYSHORT

Chapter Text

DRDIGERTZ VS BARRYLAWN

CHAPTER 39

the SECEND day of ficmas

phoenix found them in teh forest with sherlock and DGS people

"wat i tougt tat was a dream" said phoenix

"who ar u" said ronan

"its me poenix wrigt"

"dunno anyone like that, but i do no a guy named phoenix wright"

"fuk u, barry and digertz spell my name wrong allllll te time and u still no wo i am"

"ok sorry"

"btw guess wat guys"

"wat"

"KEK OWENS AND OLMES MADE DONALD TRAMP PRESIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT"

"we know"

"o"

"btw penix ur not saying ur hs" said ron

"tats cause kek owens stole my _s wit er friend eleanóir"

"o dam" said minty "we gotta stop her"

"ok lets go find er"

they went search for kek owens

"u now ive been asleep so long wy tat appen" said phenix

"idk drdigertz must have been asleep too" said gumshoe wait whys he here, but then gumshoe was eaten by wolves so ok

soon they got to the tower of kek owens tat normally u can only enter wen u beat all the temples and teh boses inside tehm but sequence breakings fun

"alright were finally here" said phoenix

"WAT, U SAID H TWICE"

"wow, tats weird, but i gess were not supposed to b ere yet so tat message wudnt maek sense" said poenix

tey clim the tower, it was very eazy, but ten tey got to teh room and eleanóir came down

"U CANNAT BE HERE YET" shouted eleanóir

"yea we can, u left te door open"

"YEA BUT ITS REALLY HIGH, U CANT GET TO DAT DOOR WITOUT CLIMBING TEH STUFF DROPPED BY KEK OWENS AND HOLMES MINIONS

"fuk off eleanóir, dis is a SPEEDRUN, we suppose to use glitces to brake te game" said poenix

"well let me punish u more for breaking it" said eleanóir

"NOOOO DONT STEAL ANOTER LETTER"

"i cant do tat... but my FREND CAN"

and ten DOOPLISS JUMPED OUTTA NOWHERE AND STOLE PHOENIXS P

"lol who are u slik" said doopliss

"i am oenix write" said oenix "o FUK U DOOLISS"

"hya hya bye" said doopliss and they ran away

"tose fuckers" said oenix "o well lets get kek owens"

however te door was blocked by a code and it said on a sign that the answer was "kek owens x holmes otp" but hoenix couldnt answer it cause it had both h and p"

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN" shouted pheenix "ok guys we gotta catc tose guys"

"but how we gonna cach up to tem, we suk at running" said juicy

"mmmmmmm" said phenix "O I NO"

"wat"

"well do TE BLEE TEST!"

"YESSSSS GREAT IDEA" said juicy

so tehy started the blep test but no one did it

"FUK" shouted juicy "why no one wanna do?"

"well we gotta get em someow" said phoenix

"but how"

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" thoguth phoenix

they thoght about wat to do wen suddenly a black and white van drove up to em

"HEY KIDZ CANDY IN TEH BACK" shouted a voice

"yay" said phoenix and they all ran in and saw it was GUY IN BLACK AND GUY IN WHITE

WEARING SANTA COSTUMES

"HO HO HO" hod guy in black "AND OVER DEH MONEY FUCKERS"

"we are here to murder you" said guy in white "i am sorry"

"NO" shouted phoenix "YOU CANT WE GOTTA STO KEK OWENS AND OMES!"

"we dont care, PUT YA HANDS UPN GIVE DA MONEY" shoted guy in black taking out his gun

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

TO BE CONTINUED BY DIGERTZ

Chapter Text

ch 40

the third day of ficmas

"hahaha, u cnant even run" sys guy in blak. "dis is why u shuld be fit and do the bleeps test or whatever dat thingy is" sys guy in white. "yeh, gimmie ur fkin monies" sys gai in blak.

"wtf wont u guys just leaf us alone, its feels like ur ere every time" sys oenix. "wat u mene, weve nevar beenin dis fic before" sys guy in blak. "wat, arent u te guys were olice wit gumsoes dad or someting?" sys oenix.

"nah, we've nevar left our estaaat before, until we cam in2 dis park place" syys guy in whit. "yeh we frum arty griffins" saids guy in black. "o fuck" and foenix fainteds.

_AFTER FAINTSINGS_

"wew i feels weak and stuff" sys foenix. "yeh, just lie here fur a while, pal" sys gummyshu. "gumsoe?! ow r u alives?!" sys foneix. "iunno, digertz is too lazy 2 mak a raison for it" sys gummy. "anyway pal, dere was murder at park you were at" sys gumshu.

"woa woa woa old on dere pal, murdereds?!" sys foenix. "yeh, its like dis is a phoenix wright fic or somethings" sys gummyshu. "wel wo died" sys oenix. "hmmmm, itwas a lotsa peoples, lets grab teh list" sys gummyshu.

gummy rustled in his coat and pulled out a sheet of paper bigger than santas list "Marvin Grossberg, Ema Skye, Max Galatica, Trilo & Ben, Maggey Byrde, Adrian Andrews and whomever barrylawn wants 2 add to teh lists".

"woa, dats a lotsa new caracters" sys foenix. "yeh, we gotta finde out who teh murdereds them" sys gummyshu. "wait, y me" sys phoenix. "minty died dere tooo" sys suedeshoes. "o okay" and foenix wents.

"mmmm, i just gotta get into dis ark aaand" foenix was aboota gets into de park but gummshues stahped him. "wtf r u doingk gumsue?!" scrims foneix. "sorry pal, im teh detoctive on dis case, I cnant let u in2 de crimescenes" sys gummyshus.

foenix was gonna show off his atorneys badge but den he rembers losing it in ch26. "damn, ill mak a new one" so foenix took out a piecey cardboard and cut it to shapes. "aaaaa! look i as BAAADGE!" sys foenix and he presonted cardboard.

"hmmm, i gotta scan dat fiorst pal" and gumshu used tool no.11 cardbords detectors. "this is fucking cardboard, we dont accept dese anymore after furio tigre" sys gummyshu. "franziska von karma de prosekutor is gonna kills u" sys gummy.

"AAAAA! U TOLD ME TE ROSECUTORS! NOW I BLAKMAIL U OR VON KARMA WILL KILL U FOR GIVING IT AWAY" sys foenix. "oh shit no please, u can go in and investigates" syss gummyshu. su foenix walked in.

_AT CRIME SCENE_

"mmm, dis luukes urdy bad" sys foenix. the grounds was covereds in bloods and tehre was a knife on de grounds. "dis is retty gud evidonce" sys foneix. "hey i herd u neede a partner for dis case youngesteeer!" sys sum astronut. "wow iunno wo u are astronuticals" sys foenix.

"thats why u needey a partner, ur too stuuupids!" sys wendy oldbag. "o fuck, get away frum me" sys phoenx but it was too late and he was already in cutscene 2 court. "CRAAAAA!" sys foenix bekause he culdnt ditch her. "haha! lets git dis on!" and dey entoured courtroom 3.

_IN COOOUUUUUURT_

"woah, we gut a mass-murdereds going on in here, does dis even happen in ace attorney?!" sys udgey. "apporently so your honorables" sys franziska. "wait wu dafuq ami defonding?" sys phoneix. "guy in white and guy in black from arty griffin" sys udgey. "wat" but de triales had alreduy beguns.

"hey pals ima gumshu, de fiorst witnuss" sys gumshu. "heres a pic of de murder scene" sys gumshu. "sow me te ic" sys oenix but no one understands him.

_WITNESS TESTIMONY_

1) It was like 6.30 yesturday

2) Theyare was blood evorywhare

3) de 2 guys had guns su dey had 2 of dune it

"OBJECTIONEY!" scrims oldbag "IT WAS 6.29!". "dunt be like dat oldbag, im da attorneys ere, tis is a really OBJEEECTIOOOOOONEY! DE MURDER WEAON IS KNIFE!" and foenix presonts knife. "yeh, but de autopsy repoart dusnt say knife is weapon" sys franziska. "ye, ware dafuq is dat autosy anyway" sys oenix.

"uh, ahem, we didnt finde teh bodies" sys franziska. "ye, den we dunt know ow dey kill, su deres still objectiones" sys oenix. "shit yeh, alwright next witness" sys franziska and Alita Tiala came 2 de stand. "wtf arunt u meant to be in presons" sys oldbag. "stfu old lafy" sys atila.

_WITNESS TESTIMONY_

1) I was off duty at the time

2) I saw white shoot them then black shot them too

3) They have to be the guilties

phoenix tried pressing dem for a while but crapcom made dis 1 too hard su he googled how to beat dis. "um, uuu... YOU DID CRIIIIME!" sys foenix. "wtf, how" sys atila. "simle, u didnt kill tem, U DRUGGED TEM AND TOOK BLOOD SAMLES! TATS OW BLOOD GOT EVERYWAAARE!" sys foenix. "hmmm, this makes sense" udgey nods. "no it doesnt" sys franziska.

"well, atila took their blood samles like a nurse, dey fainted and se took tem away" sys oenix. "OBJECTION! SHE CANT TAKE BLOOD SAMPLES IF SHES OFF DUTY!" sys franziska. "tats tru, but te crime toook lace at 6:29, AND EVEY1 KNOWS NURSES GIT OFF WORK AT 6:30!" sys foenix. "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck" scrims atila. "yeh, but how khan u prove she did it" sys karma.

"easy, I FAINTED TOOOOO! and foenix presonts his arm with a tiny red dot on it. "atila u guilties" sys udgey.

"huh, i guess no 1 in kill den" sys oldbag. "yeh, no1 died except minty, cuz u cnant tak bloodey frum ghost" sys atila. "o fuck, i gutta git minty bak" sys foenix.

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYLAWN

Chapter Text

DRDIGERTZ VS BARRYLAWN

CHAPTER 41

the FORT day of ficmas

so they all went into hell to get minty back

"wow so this is where gumshoe goes when he dies" said phoenix

"werent we here in chapter 3 or whatever" said juicy

"no, dis place is different, this is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, its were people go when they die after they die after they die after they die after they die after they die after they die"

"ohhhhh ok" said juicy "oh hey there he is"

he pointed at the only person in the place except gumshoe but fuck gumshoe

they ran over to minty but then they were stopped by A RED GUY WITH HORNS

"AAAGH WHO ARE U"

"i" said the guy "am SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, im teh devil of the place where people go when they die after they die after they die after they die after they die after they die after they die"

"OH NO" shouted joycey who was an expert on the satan family "this guy who ill just call sataan is 7 times more powerful dan satan, he is capable of destroyin us just by lookin at our eyes"

"ohhhh that must be why gumshoes dead" said phoenix

so they all look down

"WAT" shouted sataan "i mean hey mortal look up i have presents for christmas"

"OOOOOOOH ME PLS" shouted phoenix and he looked up at sataan and died after dying after yeah all that

"OH NO" shouted ronan

"AHAHAHHAHAH" lughed sataan "now u lost teh only character that makes this a phoenix wright fanfic, go over to fictionpress where u belong"

and then sataan threw them to fictionpress

"where are we" said juicy, but it was pointless question cause they looked up and saw a sign that looked a lot like the one in the top left corner of ur screen on the computer unless ur on mobile, except it said "FICTIONPRESS"

"wtf is this, fanfic is better" said joycey

they tried to talk to people but they were all original people they dont no

"hmmm there has to be someone we know"

just then GUY IN WHITE AND GUY IN RED GOT OUT OF THEIR CAR

"AHAHAHAHA" laughed them "bet ya didnt expect to see us here"

"WHITE BLACK WAT ARE U DOIN HERE"

"its simple, barrylawn wrote a fictionpress story about us once, its called black and white: the secret of the broken vault door, please feel free to go there to support the best guys in colors on the internet" said white but black pushed him away

"www,fictionpress,com/s/3294899/1/black-and-white-the-secret-of-the-broken-vault-door theres teh link bitches now READ OUR STORY NOW AND MAKE US THE MONEEEEEEEEEEEEY"

"but black, that story is voluntary work, we don't get paid for it, except for the satisfying feeling of entertaining people for free"

"WHAAT" shouted black "FREE?! THATS IT OUR SERIES IS CANCELLED"

"you are quite greedy my friend"

"so yeah" said juicy "u guys gonna help us get out of here or what"

"no"

"oh"

then black and white got out their guns and fired at em but they got shields

"DAMN U, HOWD U GET TO THE TOWN THATLL SOON BE WE BE PRESIDENTS OF?" shouted black

"because sataan sent us here"

"santa?"

"no sataa-"

"WOAH WHITE TAHTS A GREAT IDEA" shouted black "LETS GO TO SANTAS HOUSE AND TAKE HIS SHIT AND SELL IT ON THE BLACK MARKET"

"oh, that is not what i meant, i just repeated what i heard, but you are a clever man when your not swearing every word"

they ran away to the north pole but ron and ronan chased them until they got back to where they were, in HHHHHHHHHHHHH you know the rest

"woah guys ur back to save me" said phoenix

"NO, THERS NO TIME, BLACK AND WHITE ARE GOING TO STEAL FROM SANTA"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted phoenix and his scream in horror broke the deadness of him and minty and gumshoe cause i know digertz will want him back "THOSE FUCKERS, TEHY CANT HURT SANTA, COME ON GUYS FORGET ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE, WE GOTTA SAVE SANTA!"

so they ran out of hell to stop black and white from killing the santa

TO BE CONTINUED BY DIGERTZ

Chapter Text

ch 42

teh fith day of christmas

"fuck fuck fuck we gotta save santa" sys foneix. su phoenix called muush de fllying bear. "TO DE NARTH POOOOLE!" sys phonix. moosh flew at de speed of sanic or sumthing and dey got to de north pole. ronan and ron fell off tho becuse they did.

"wowzers, eets rly snowy here" sys minty because barry wants him bak. "fuck yeh eet is!" sys datboi. "shit boi, u bak. why r you in de north poles?" sys gumshu. "aftor trump & kekeowens crontrols teh WARUDO de elves here let me staay and hides" sys datboi.

"wat ow did you findey tem" sys phoenix. "EZ, imet an elf in new yaaark" sys datboi. then a fucking 6"2 elf cumes in. "hi im buddy teh elf, i brought datboi here" sys buddy. "arunt u a bitty tall" sys minty.

"well yeah, but shut up" sys buddy. "ey ur an eld, WARES SAAANTA" scrims batmane. "woa batmane, y u in dis" sys foenix. "haha! cuz ill be in 1 of digertz fics soon, whenover he does his own storieees againe" sys batmane. "yeh, well lemmie take u 2 de big man" sys buddy.

"so we juice gotta go

2 de elf villlage and hes in dere" so buddy led teh way. aftur walking forevars, dey hopped on sum ice and floted on de water all de way to de candy cane furest. "oh boi imma stay here and eat all dis shit" sys datboi and he did.

"ow far are we frum te village" sys phonix. "oh its rite aroond de corner" sys mutherfuking morgan freeman snowman. "oh shite it my pal motherfucking morgan freeman snowman or mmfs 4 shorts" sys buddy. "r u hear 2 see de big man? u bettar hurry. Those two are almost at him" sys mmfg.

"alwright, we bettar go faster in dis shit" sys buddy and tey ran. "just a bit furter!" sys minty but gumshu got too tireds for runningk anymore and stahped. then minty did too becauze fuck him. "its just us left boooiyz" sys mmfg. and it was, dey reched elf village and it was unders atack. "wait wtf, if deres only 2 of de colors guys huw r dey making wars against a WHOLE TOWN?!" sys buddy.

"dat bekause TERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT ONEEEES DAT KEE GETTINGK INTRODUUUUUCED!" scrims foenix and he was teh right. there was chinese guy in black suit and guy in white suit, comic book guy in black suit and guy in white suit, mexican guy in black suit and guy in white suit, cartoon guy in black suit and guy in white suit, discord guy in black suit and guy in white suit and even french guy in black suit and guy in white suit.

"wat is dis bull, just save santa alredys" sys barrylawn whu has to update the characters record. su foenix opened de door and saw guy in black suit and guy in white suit frum ch 41 ataking santa. "SANTA ILL SAAAAVE YOOOOOOOOO" and foenix wus goingk 2 but den he saw someting weird. Santa was wearing greeeeeen! "wu dafuq r u, u aont my santa" sys nick.

"wut, im , just wit less coke" sys santa BUT IT WAS TOO LATE! foenix alredy loft him 2 die. "hahaha fuk u fat man" sys guy in black suit. "bfore we shoot you, do u want anythingk?" sys guy in white. den santa has sneky plans. "plz, how aboots sum coke cola?" he sys.

"sure, u can habe 1 drink before being kill" sys guy in white and gives him a coke. "HAHAHA! u underastimaed meeeeeee!" sys santa aftor drinking coooke and his suit turnys red. "wait wtf, y u red now" sys guy in black. "thats not just it!" sys santa and theey heard sum weird jingle or something in de backgrounds.

"what is that sound santa?" sys guy in white. "hmm dats easy..." and a 144p train cums crashing thru teh wall into guy in black and guy in white "... ITS THE SOUND OF TEH HOLIDAYS COMIIIIIIING!" scrims santa and he gits on de coke train and flys away into space.

"oh shit, dat was teh real santas" sys foenix.

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYLAWN

Chapter Text

DRDIGERTZ VS BARRYLAWN

CHAPTER 43

the sickth dae of ficmas

"u no guys i just togt of someting" said phoenix to his frends who all returned by magic of me

"wat" said minty

"WE CAN USE DAT SANTA TRAIN TO GET TO ELEANOR AND DOOLISS AND GET MY AND MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK"

"o wow for someone who cant even say his own name ur reely smart" said juicy "but how do we catch that train"

"hm gud question" said joycye "how do we catch running train away from us"

"its so muc faster tan us too" said phoenix

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouted joycey "GUYS I HAS AN IDEA, WAIT HERE"

he ran back home to ireland and came back with someone

"dis is miss whoops, shes a world travelling teacher from idk somewhere" said joycey

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed phoenix

"what"

"idk i feel like ive seen er before but i dont no were"

"no i do not think u do know me" said miss whoops

"o ok sorry miss woos i am oenix wrigt ace college student" said phoenix

"so wat can u do for us" said juicy

and then miss whoops JUMPED THEM ALL INTO SPACE WITH TEH INITIAL VELOCITY OF 1000000 M/S

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed phenix "WELL CATCH TEHM AT TIS SPEED"

"no we do not go fast enuff yet" said whoops

"TEN GO FASTER"

"we cannot" said whoops "but we can do oder thing"

and den she waved her hand and the santa train RETARDED

"tat is retardation, it does now slow down so u catch it" said whoops

phenix reeched for teh trane and grabed it and got on and so did them all

"now phenix u do questions 5 and 6 of wat we do in class for homework heres the notes" she gave phoenix lots of confusing formulas

"fuck tis im done wit tis class" said phoenix and he dropped whoops back to earth and she fell faster and faster because of excelleration idk i suck at physics

they looked around the train and there was lots of ingredients for making secret drink of santa claus

"wow santa must do drugs" said juicy

"sss guys he mite ear u" said phoenix

"o ok"

they went across the drug making place and opened teh door

AND SANTA WAS THERE

"HO HO HO" hoed santa "I HO-ARD YOU"

"NOOOOOO I MEAN NO I DIDNT MEAN IT" shouted juicy

"well tis teh season of being too late, now u no my secrets and that i drug little bois and grils parents so they think im not real, tats how my real existance is secret for years, now i must kill u"

"uhhhh we didnt figure DAT out" said joycey

"oh" said santa "well U KNOW NOW, MEET DEATH FUCKERS"

and then the drugs woke up

"O SIT, dese drinks are NOT wat was advertised, i sue u for dis later" shouted phoenix

but before the sue, they got in a fite with the drugs and had to kill drug a drug b drug c drug d, they were all evil

"ho ho ho" ho ho ho santa "u may think ur strong, but u see, when u smash the drugs the drug fall on the floor, now wat do u think happens when santa takes a drug tat makes him not beleev in santa"

"idk what"

"THIS"

and he ate the drug spill all over the floor

and he lit up and became

SANTA CLAUS WITH STRONGER ARMS BECAUSE WHAT KIND OF VILLIN IS NORMAL FAT SANTA CLAUS YA KNOW?

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, U LITTLE SHITS"

TO BE CONTINUED BY DRDIGERTZZZZZZZZ

Chapter Text

ch 44

the sevonth day of ficmas

"hohooly shittte" sys juicey. "wat dafuq is dis" and he gut PAAAAWNCHED. "juiceeeeeey!" sys foenix but juicy was alroady bak on earth. "fuck, immma kill u santa!" scrims oenix. "hohohohohohohohohohohohoohohohohohoohohohohohohohohoohoooo u cnant kill me im da spirits of ficmas!" and santa punchs teh foneix.

BAAAAANG ands foneix was sleepingk liek babby. "oh shit he sleepies" sys ron. "wat khan we dududu?!" cris minty. "RUUUUDOOOOOLPHHHH... PAAAWNCHHHHHH!" scrims santa and minty was sleepies 2.

oh noes. ron is de only 1 left. "oh fuck fuck, i needed BACKUUUUUP!" scrims ron. and den santa relises sumethingk... dis isnt his trein. ITS NINTENDOOOOOOOOS AND DEYRE GOINGK INT2 DE SUUUUUUUN.

"naht de hype traaaaaain! and miyawiimoto who was jusist riding teh front gets in de bak and startls 2 beat santas up. conductor iwata (rip in perperonnis) holps foenix and his buddies up. "we'll git reggie to hold santas in plaaace, u neede 2 collect all teh reindeers across teh worlds and we will nintendo magiks and SAVE SAAAANTAAAAAAA!" sys iwatas.

"ok" sys foenix.

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYLAWN

Chapter Text

45

the nine day of ficmas

"o o o" hoed phoenix as they flew the sleigh around the world and saved the reindeers

but we didnt go into detail caus digertz u aint stealin my fic ideas m8 phoenix wright vs santa claus will be waaaaay better than watever he planned heh heh heh

so phoenix brought them back and nintendo magiked and santa was santa again

"ho ho ho now i help u all" said santa

TO BE CONTINUED (wasnt THAT a great chapter?)

Chapter Text

46

the ten day of ficmas

"hoho I will holp u now" sys santa. "NAHHT YET!" and masque de masque cam in and stole moar fic ideas frum barrylawn. and random pizza guy was teh bad guy in ch26, naht teh goat

TO BE CONTINUED (wasnt THAT a great chapter?)

Chapter Text

BARRY VS DIGERTZ

THE EIGHT AND ELEVEN DAY OF FICMAS

BY BARRYLAWN

so day 11 was about to start when sudenly it saw day 8 running around the park caus it didnt wanna go to watever it had dat day

11 ran to the 8 and told it to go there caus he was its teacher

"but its day 11, so no u" said 8

"SHIIIIIT" shouted 11 "i dont wanna go either, day 14s scaaaaary"

"o true" said 8 "so what u wanna do"

"LETS FUK CLASS"

"YEAAAAAH"

they ran away from class and into the place

"uhhh 8 its scary here too"

"dont be baby, ur 3 numbers more tan me so if ur baby im not born"

"o sorry" said 11 and he became 11

"tank" said 8 "but were is this place"

"GET OUT OF HEER LITTEL BOIS" shouted a voice

they looked up and saw ELEANOIR, WHO WAS 10000000 YEARS OLD, AND THEYR ONLY 11 AND 8, SO THEY RAN FROM THE WITCH BEFORE THEY STOLE THEIR AYCHES

"WHO WAS THAT" shouted 8

"TAT MUST BE THE PEOPLES PHOENIX AND PEOPLE ARE GOIN TO HUNT"

"OSHIT MAN, PHENIX NEEDS HIS H BACK, WE SHUD GO TELL HIM"

"GOOD PLAN"

===PHOENIX===

"wow guys idk wat to do now" said phoenix

and then he heard the vocies of the day

"HELLO PHOENIX"

"wo ar u"

"i" said the voice" am TODAY

"WAAAAAAAT" shouted phoenix "wy ar u talkin to me bro?"

"cause phoenix, we know where the witch who STOLE UR HS IS!"

"YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?"

"yes, shes in a castle" said day 11 "ALSO-"

but he disappeared cause it was just then tomorrow

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

ch 48

TEH 12 DAY OF FRIMBO

"wtf u doingk today" sys gummyshu whos dere. "I WILL GUIDE U TU DE CAAAASTLE" sys today.

"yea, but wait a sec" sys foenix. "i gutta bake a cake for 4.5 yrs fiorst" sys foenix.

"wtf" but foenix was alruddy baking

TO BE CONTINUDE

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS DRDIGERTZ

CHAPTER WHAT

THE 13 DAYS OF FICMAS

"wait wat ters 12 days of ficmas" said phoenix

"sut up" said me

"ok"

"so guys we gotta go to castle" said minty

"no" said phoenix "i must make de cake"

"ugh fucking this" said ronan and he ran down to shop and bought a cake and brought it back

"its not coclate" said phoenix

"FUK U" shouted ronan and he ran back and got teh choclate cake

"its too small"

"FUCK U" shouted ronan and he ran back to get a bigger cake

"its not cocklate" said phoenix

"FUCK! YOUUUUUUUUUU" and ronan threw the cake into the chocolate cake

"woooow dis is great" said phoenix eating the two cakes

"alrite now that tats done lets go" said juicy

they went to the castle but the bridge to it was guarded by a bear

"hallo i am moneybags and i cant let u pass unless u have 100 gems"

"but we dont have gems how much ar they worth in other stuff" said juicy

"well they are worth $300000 or 1500000 bells"

"wat are bells" said phoenix

"money"

"ok"

they saw a shop called retail and dediced to sell them stuff so they got on kappns boat and went to the island and got lots of napolonfish sharks saw sharks whale sharks horned elephants and golden stags and went back and sold em to get 100000 bells

"god damn tisll take 14 more island visits and it took all day" said phoenix "how we do dis"

just then they noticed a tent next to retail

they went in and saw an orange duck

"hello im joey i like food"

"food u say"

"yeah, food i say"

"guys we got to give im FIS" said phoenix

"no man we gotta sell dat fish" said minty

"ill buy ur fish" said joey

"well decide deend on ur money u offer us" said phoenix

they went back on the boat and got more of those guys and broght em back to joey

"ok name ur price" said minty

"play game"

"NO NAME PRICE NOW"

"no money if no play, ill take the napoleon now play or ill kill it and u cant sell it to reece"

"AAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed phoenix "FINE, U MADMAN, WATS GAME"

"a guessing game"

"WAT WERE PLAYING KID GAMES" shouted juicy

"yes"

"BUT DATS GAMBLING" shouted gumshoe grabbing handcuffs before i teleported him to hell

"no" said joey "let us begin"

"uuuuug dis is comletely lucky base, ow we gotta save te fis" said phoenix

"lets play what do i wanna eat" said joey "i wanna eat soemthin that isnt red now choose ur answer"

1. apple

2. banana

3. orange

4. pear

"TAKE DAT" shouted phoenix presenting the apple

"wat ur fucking stupid" said joey "apples are red"

"OBJECTION, TEY ARE GRENE TOO STOP JUDGING TINGS BASE ON NARRO MINDED CULTURAL ASSUMTIONS"

"no" said joey "ur so stupid im killing the fish now" and he killed the fish

"NOOOOOOOOO" screamed ronan "PHOENIX U CANT GIVE UP"

"DAAAAAAAM" said phoenix

"round two" said joey stealing a fish "same stuff different food go"

"wat wy u suddenly wanna eat sometin else"

"because, now choose"

"ok... i tink u joey... like LARGE BANANAS"

evr1 look at poenix and but he didnt get a penalty cause shouting stuff like thats ok in court so why not here too

"uhhh no" said joey "round two its round"

phenix guessed orange and the fish died

"round 3" said joey laughing at his perfect game "same questions go"

"(dammit dis guys just canging is answer from wat i say es gotta be)" thought phenix "(der gotta be way to coroner im)"

so we go inside teh brain again for the thinking of logic "joey got dis erfect game dats always te same but wat i never get rigt is I NEVER GET TE ANSWER RITE and dat must be because JOEY CANGES TE ANSWERS WEN I SAY TEM but dis means DA FIRST CLUE IS ALWAYS DAT ITS NOT RED wic means IT CAN NEVER BE ABBLE so after dat e described de bear as round o wait DE ORANGE AND BARE ARE BOAT ROUND so at means if too are te same

DE ORANGE SOUD BE GUESSED FIRST

phenix woke up and joey was tossing coin like rich fucker

"come on phoenix wats ur guess"

"ok" said phoenix "i think its ORANGE"

"ha ha no" said joey "next hint, its long and hard"

"wow u fuck" said phoenix "u i mean, i tink its de BANANA"

"HA" laughed joey "ok u win dis won, have 70000 bells for dis stringfish"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOAH" shouted minty "PHOENIX PLAY MORE"

"heh heh" laughed joey "in gambling teh house wins every time but ur too stupid to no what that means"

but phoenix WASNT stupid, the guessing game was stupid, and joey lost lots more times until they had 1.5 million bells, because he wasnt in a house, he was in a TENT

"AAAAAAAAH" screamed joey "watever, i still have unlimited money from other stupid gamblers, so wat if u found a trick in my awesome game"

but then everyone ran to joey and beat his ass now that his secret was revealed and he was poor

and phoenix and others ran back to moneybags and gave him the bells and he let them pass into the castle of eleanoir

"wow u know dat guys reely a dick for not letting us in EER" said phoenix

Chapter Text

ch 50?!

TEH 14 DAY OF FICMAAAAS

"alrwirghty aboot tiem we mad it 2 de castle" sys juicey. "yeh, letsa git dis ovaaar wit" sys datboi. "yeh pal, we gutta finish dis shite" sys gunmshoo. "im har phonenix" sys juicey. "i hare too" sys bielal. "wtf ever1 togeter, is dis sum specials capter or sumting?" sys foenix.

"yeh, we finally goingk into kek owens castle, teh proper tiem now" sys juicey. "o fuuuuuuck yeeaaaaaaaa" and dey made eet in2 de castle. "Damn dis plaac big we gutta crime de staiiirs!" sys datboi and dey went 4 stares. "horry shiiite is dat... HOLMEEES?! (and naht teh gud 1)" sys bielal.

"hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhaahhah u cnant git past wit me heeeeeeeere!" syss holmsys. "wat y u ere?" sys foenix. "uh my hoose gut floded su kek owens let me staaye here" sys holmes. "wat alls on ur own?" sys ron. "weeellllll" sys holmes.

"wat u whipparsnappors doingk wit my daugters in laaaaaw?!" sys Oldienne Holmes. "wat is dat u teaach?" sys gumshu. "no u dumb fuck, im here sistors and holmes moter in laaaw" sys oldienne. "did u knaw she past her kars test?!" she scrims. "shaddup oldienne ima tryingk 2 kill dem" sys holmes.

"CUM OUT ELEANOIIIIR AND KILL DEEEEEEM!" sys holmes. eleanor jumps out and try to kill but datboi runs her ogre wit his unibike liek a bossey and she dead. "YEAAAAAASH I H AGAAAAAAIN!" sys foenix an he culd h againey.

"oh fuk, u cnant kill me doe" sys holmes and gits rdy 2 fite. "HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA UR HOOSE GUT FLODED MIIIIISSS!" sys mark sarararno. "oh fuk off mark imma write note to ur paront noow" sys holmes. but while holmes write noote mark startled shitpostingk again "MIIIIIIISSSSS KHAN I GO 2 DE TOILLETTTTS?!" he scrims. "wtf mark u dunt even bring book to class" sys holmes.

"dat cus i dunt ownes teh booke u dumb cows" sys mark. "dafuq mark i holdingk u thingy right now" sys holmes and mark luuked down and saw seh did "oh". but b4 holmes culd du anythingk marks friond Kean Laughing cam in. "seriusly how dafuq did u alls cum in?!" scrims holmes.

whiles holmesy was gitting trigger wit all de shitpostingks phoenix and gangs snucks awaaay. "aright up teh stairs 2 de noext floooooooor" sys gumshus.

FLOOORE 2

"Oh lukk ficmassy tree" sys ron cuz eet was stillk cristmassy. "yeh it sueems kinda weird dat sum1s evil liek kek owens culd celibrote christmassy" sys foenix.

"oh shite wat is dat smell" sys bielal. "uhhh gawd it smells" scrims every1s else. "nu way, if somethingk smells its da..." sys foenix. "BUUUUUTZ!" and larry butz jumps out dressed as santa. "want sum samurai dogs gaiys?" sys larry. "oh i was hireds as securitys guards by boss kek owens" sys larry. "larry wtf she evils" sys foenix. "yeh well shaddup i nede foods" scrims larry.

"faire enough" sys french foneix. "french foenix dafuq u doingk here?" sys foenix. "iunno" sys french foeinx. "well we gonna kill keke owens or somethingk sooo..." sys datboi. "uh i dunt thinky i cana let us do dat as securityy guard" sys larry. "hmmm wel den... I CHALLONGE U TO A D...D...D...D...DUEEEEEEL" sys datboi and holographics stage cums outta de floor. "u guys go on ahead, i gut dis" sys datboi.

phoneix and his frionds ran away to neoxt floore. "haaa, u choose to duel me?! I'm unbeatable" keks larry butz. "dis is my samurai deeeeck!" and larry summons Sal Manella in attack mode. "wat is dis, a 1200/1500?! kek u funny" sys datboi and summons a 1500/1000 Pedobear who attacks and kills sal manella. "AAARGH!" and larry takes 300 dmg.

"fuck u" and larry summons a minion face downs. dat boi draws a card, its a damn 200/200 johnny test. "wtf is dis BS" and he attacks teh face down card wit Pedobear. but IT WAS A OLDBAG 500/1800 and datboi tuuk 300 damgages. "hmmm, lets kick dis into overdriiiiives!" and larry sacrifices his oldbags 2 summons a STEEL SAMURAI 3000/2500 and jingles plays (u know it).

"hmmm I hopes i draw gud card 2 counters this" but datboi draws a goddamn 200/200 johnny test. "how does i even ploy this." he cris. datboi changes pedobear 2 defesese mode. "haaa! liek dat will stahp me!" and he kill pedo bear wit his steel samurai. "Now u seem to be havingk truble wit 1 samurai... SO HABE 2 MOOAAAAR" and larry sumons a Pink Princess 3000/2500 and a Nickel samurai 3000/2500. "darw ur last pathetic card datboi" sys larry.

"my deck has no pathetic cards larry" and datboi draws a kuribo. "this card is pathetic" and datboi cheats and draws teh next card under kuribo cuz screw teh rules he has memes. "ahaha! I play pot of greed which allows me to draw 2 moar cards!" sys datboi and he draws barry bee 200/200 and Shrek 1000/1000.

"I see now, the piecese of teh puzzzle!" and datboi ply polymoizations 2 summon BEE SHREK TEST IN THE HOUSE! "whhaaaat?! dats impossibles, nobodies evar sumoned dat befooooore?!" cris larry then he gits obliderated. "you did gud mah bruthar" sys snoop bruthat" sys snoop dogg as he gibs datboi a rolley like the hashboi he is.

MEANWHILE ON NEOXT FLOORE

"Is dat a pool?" sys foenix. AND BIG BAD BARRY JUMPED OOOOOOUT!

TO BE CONTINUDE!

Chapter Text

BARRYLAWN VS DRDIGERTZ

CHAPTER 51

THE 15 DAYTH OF FICMAS

big bad barry jumped around teh room

"AAAAAAH ITS GYORG" shouted phenix

"no its just a normal fish just big" said ron

"o" said phoenix "but wait whys he got a scary name like big bad barry HEY WAIT IS THIS CALLING ME A FISH" i interupted

"no" said holmes voice from nowhere

"o ok"

the fish used magic fish powers on eveyrone, and they turned them into a FISH

one fish

the fish jumped looking for water and big bad barry ATE THEM

===INSIDE BARRY===

"woooooot" said phoenix "wer inside big bad jabu jabu?!"

"how we getting the out" said minty fight the teeth but they didnt open

"we must pray to our fish gods to spare us" said ronan

they all got on nees to pray but nothing happened

"hmmmm maybe ray again" said phoenix

"but watll tat do" said juicy

"maybe were doing the wrong qose" said phoenix and he stood on one hand with his legs in a circle and teh other hand fingering the sky i mean the roof

"u dumbass fish lords hell us u now lazy fuks amen" prayed phoenix

AND THEN THE LIGHT FILLED UP AND BIG BAD BARRY PUT HIS HEAD IN HIS MOUTH TO TALK TO EM CAUSE HE WAS GOD

"hi" said barry

"wait WAT" siad phoenix

barry try to bite tem wit teeth but they ran through and outside

and barry kept going and ate himself and DISAPPEARED

"wat teh shit just happened" said minty

"who cares it worked" said phenix "now lets go to the next room"

===IN THE WORLD===

meenwhile big bad barry just realized tat was really stupid

"damn where am i" said barry

"u are in flipside, caus u flipped by going into urself" said guy in blue merlon

"oh oops tat was dumb" said barry

barry stayed at ingas in (not inga karakul hawkod disnam bi ahni lawga ohmo pohmpos dahn'it ahredy iz khurain iii an inn owner)

after he went through a red door and learned how to flip from bestobvious and he flipped back to the normal world

"HA" laughed barry "now ill return sum day and EAAAAAAAAAAAAT U"

and he swam into the water tat appeared there

TAT IS THE END OF THE CHAPTER I HOAP TAT I HAV WRITED ENOUGH FOR U TODAY

TO BE CONTINUED BY DRDIGERTZ

Chapter Text

ch 52

TEH 16 DAYS OF FICMAS

"hmm i wunder wats thruw dis door" sys phoneix. "mby keek owens?" and foenix opuns teh doors.

"HAAAA NOPE" scrims guy in grey Nolrem. "wait.. dafuuuuuuq?!" and foenix was puled thruw door by hiself.

"wat we do now?" sys ronan. "ehhhh, well just stay heare until dis sidestory is over i guess" sys gumshu hand dey did.

_IN DOOR_

"ware ami" sys foenix. "ur in flopside ya dumb fuck" sys Nolrem. "#watisflopside" sys foenix.

"wwat, did u naht ploy teh nintendos classic 'Super Paper Mario' on tez wii?" sys Nolrem.

su foenix googled teh game "oh nobody ployed past ch4 cuz eets naht teh 1000 Years Door" sys foenix.

"yeh merlon is evil now cuz barrylawn said so and we gutta stahp big bad barry" sys nolrem. "ok sys foenix"

"O wellwe hadda go thruew dis weird puzzles thingy 2 git 2 flipside" and dey ware gonna gu 2 teh temple thingy when WELDERBERG JUMPYED OUTTA NOWHARARE!

"eyyy, i bring u 2 flipside quick" and dey got in his pipe.

"damm it wulda gut anoying if we hadda take elevators n'stuff EVERYTIME to switch between dese places" sys foenix.

"our fiorst stahp is merlons place" sys Nolrem

. Phoenix hitt save because fuck theres always stary shit in dere.

"oh hey guys i evils now" sys mellons and he gave dis long talk aboot it and tippi fixed him or the book did or sumthing iunno.

"Ah i gud now, you gottas go to ch 7, dat one dat was gonna be steel samurai land but its ktually empty" sys merlon.

"is big bad barry tehre?" sys foenix. "yeh, it was a chptr as empties as his story su he went" sys merlon.

"hey im here too" sys tippi and foenix could point at shit now.

_IN CHAPTOR 7_

"Ware is dat stuppid fiesh..." sauds oenix luuking at de white WARUDO aroond him. "aha! naht so fast" sys mr L. and ctscene startls.

"fuuuuuuck this is longk" sys foenix and he startls walking away while Mr.L is gettingk in his brobot. "damnt! my cutscene is still playingk! Stahp him pals!" scrims mr.L

"alwright boss" and Doorguy the first, Doorguy the second and Doorguy the third. "u gotta tell teh truth and we let u thrugh" sys doorguy teh fiorst.

"FUUUUUUUK I CNANT TELL TEH TRUTHS! IMA LAWYER" cris foenix. meanwhile mr. Ls cutscene was FINALLY ogre.

TO BE CONTINUDE.

Chapter Text

vs digertz

CHAPTER 53

THE 17T DAY OF FICMAS

"ok you fuck" said dorguy the first "whos the president of the united states of america"

"donald trum" said phoenix

"WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG" shouted dorguy and he threw gombas at phoenix and them but they died cause theyre weak

"come on i wanna go through"

"HA" laughed dorgay "only after u tell the truth, oh wait ur a lawyer, u cant do dat"

"FUUUUUUCK" shouted phoenix

dorguy kept laughing

"do i gotta give u more gombas"

"no pls" said phoenix

"(dammit i need to tell the truth)" thought phoenix "(but HOW)"

and then phoenix realized that even tho he has defensed in court he wasnt a lawyer he was a law school student

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "i can tell the truth, becaue IM A STUDENT NOT A LAWYER"

"WHAAAT" shouted dorguy "BUT I WATCHED YOU DEFEND BEARDBOI IN THE DESERT COURTROOM (read idk but its not chapter 26 for once)"

"that was with a fake badge" said phoenix "this means i can tell the truth"

"but that thing u said was a lie how u explain that" said dorguy

"because what i said" phoenix "was NOT A LIE"

"WHAT BUT ITS HILLARY YOU STUPI-"

phoenix showed dorguy a newspaper saying the donald won

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed dorguy and he opened

"ok onto the next room" said juicy

TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT ROOM BY DIGERTZ

Chapter Text

ch 54

TEH 18TH DAY OF FICMAS

"wtf is goingk on in dese rooms" sys ron. "iunno, somethingk about ch26" sys foenix. "oh id better goes back and buy dat DLC den" sys ron.

in de neoxt room waaaaaaaaaaaaaaas. Star wasrs roguue one.

"wat we do" sys ron. bu ronan juiced the movie into a Blueray playeer and tehy watcheded the movie.

_AFTER MOVIES_

"amn dat was dumb, eet felt like dey jusited forgot aboot what hapennod in a new hope or something" sys ronan.

"yeh evverybodies beleberd teh force was real just casuse movie" sys pfonenix.

while every1s wasnt looking ron used force powers to opens teh neoxt door dat was blooked. "yeh deres no such thingk as teh force" sys ron.

TO BE CONTINUDE!

Chapter Text

VS DIGERTZ

THE 18T DAE OF FICMAS

"ok im teh last dor" said dorguy the third "UNDERCHOMP"

and then red and blue and yellow chain chomps appeared but then they ate the dorguy and got sick and died

"wow tat was easy" said phoenix "but wait how we gonna get through the door, hes in them"

"hmmm" said joyce "maybe make them eat us"

"no tatd be kys" said phoenix

they thought and then suddenly a big guy and a normal size guy came, they lookd like they were frm 1800s

"george" said big person "lets get diffrent culored rabbits, george"

"ok lennie" said george "red and blue and yellow and green and pink rabbits"

"ok george" siad lennie and he took off his hat and pulled out RED AND BLUE AND YELLOW AND GREEN AND PINK RABBITS

AND THEY WERE EEEEEEEEEVIL

they attack mario who was suddenly there, cause phoenix and them arent supposed to be in dis part of teh game like peech is, so tehy do what they probably do wen u get to tis part wit peach with sequence breaking tat u never no might exist and turned him into mario

"wtf i got stache" said phoenix "fuck dis i shave evry day"

he went to hide so he swapped with juicy exept his name was bowser

"BWAAAARGH, IM A MONSTER" shuted juicy

"yea, ur a teacher" said ronan

"so are u"

"no im a secret ageny pretendin to be teacher u forgot"

"wat"

"READ CHAPTER 26 (its $20 rite now for christmas sale, find it on google somehwer)"

"ok"

juicy went to get the computer to buy chapter 26 (get it while its over 99% off, its a reely great chapter and by digertz too!)

so he swapped with minty, but his name was luigi

"o im green anyway" said minty "ahhhh ghosts" he defended by hiding in his hat because he thoght pale joycey was a ghost

"BWAAAAAH" screamed the rabbits who were rabbids because this is actually a CROSSOVER BETWEEN MARIO AND RABBIDS!

but minty didnt like that so he stared at the rabbits and all five of them suffered DEATH because in paper mario that thing is canon

"wow u win it minty" said phoenix

"wow sorry we neerly murdered u guys" said george "we show our being sorry by being new barrylawn characters and maybe digertz too"

"no" said lennie

"YES" shouted george and he hit him in the face

"ugh okaaaay, but only if i get to tend teh rabbits!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

ch56

TEH ? DAY OF FICMAS

"hang on" sys phoenix. "dafuq is goingk on heares" sys foenix.

"wat u meME pal!" sys minty who is here now 4 sum raison.

"but we were in tower, same day twice... den 2 days of nothingk?!" sys phoenx.

"no paaaaal, nothingk is wroooooongk" sys minty.

su foenix puchies minty out cuz only creepies horror movies guys talk liek dat.

"nooooo pfoenix, uuur naht goignk maaad!" sys sum randums voice. "whos dis?!" yells foenix.

guy apears outta nowhare. "I am rip hunter! teh time master!" sysguy.

"huuuw khan u be teh time maaaster..." sys another guy dat apears outta nowhares "IF I BOOSTER GOLD AM?!" sys booster gold.

"wtf is goingk on" sys foenix. "oh dont mind dem" sys anothering guy.

"i am doctor emmet brown and i inventeds time travels!" sys doc brown.

"incomplete data" sys robot austrian T-800 model. "i teh skynet programme invents time travel!" sys skynet.

"Imma timelord" sys sum doctor who guy, liek all 13 in a row.

"I habe no ideas whu invents timetravels in startrek but sum1 did" sys captain kirk.

"i think ill have a seizure now" sys phoenix. den 4 guys dropped in wit saxaphones.

"DIS IS GOINGK DOWN IN HISTORY!" sys teh tall 1. *pew pew pew pew peeeew pew* goes sax.

"whu are u alls?!" cris foenix. "floppy, tobby, bobby and robbie!" sys robbie.

"ami in limbo or sum shite?" sys foenix.

"yesh! we r inbetweeen histoooooryyyy wit all teh time peops!" sys doc brown.

TO BE CONTINUDE

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT TURNABOUT DIGERTZ

DAY 18 OF FICMAS

"so hey guys we goin to time travel or wat" said phoenix

"yes"

and then they all time travelled to day 24 of ficmas

"yay were going" said ronan "hey wai-"

and then they arrived on day 24

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

TEH 24TH DAY OF FICMAS

"hey did we even has plot anymores? teh last feww chpaters weares weirds" sys foenix.

"yeh u apporently defoaeted kek owens and co. on de 23rd acording to dis thingy" sys ronan whos holds 'TEH PLOOOOOOT'.

"hmmmm, wat wus meant 2 happons dis chapter" sys foenix. den ronan was gonna answers buuuuuut...

"DATS EASYS! WE SHOW UPS 2 RUIN TEH DAAAAAAAAY!" sys a group of christmas haturs.

"oh shit! its Harry Lime and Marvin Merchants the wet/sticky bandits, The Grinch (book), The Grinch(animated movie), the Grinch(live-action movie), Turles, Ebenezer Scrooge (pre-ghosts), George Bailey (pre-angel), Myron Larabee(pre-turboman christmas gift), Jack Skellington(pre-Song Number), Hitler and even Jewish Jesus!" sys foenix.

"yes we teh new bad guys and we gunna steal/ruiiins teh FICMAAAAS 4 EVARYOOOONNNNE!" dey scrim.

So they did.

"FUUUUUUUUK, HOW WE GUNNA CONTINUDE THIS FIC IF TEH FICMAS IS DED?! DATS WAT BROGHT DRDIGERTZ BAK FRUM TEH DEAAAD" cri ron.

"dats easy... we'll holp u saaave ficmas!" sys Kevin McCallister, sum random Whos, Goku, teh ghost of christmas past, teh ghost of christmas present, teh ghost of christmas future, Clarence Odbody, Howard Langston, Jack Skellington (post-song number), the human version of United States, the human version of Soviet Union, the human version of United Kingdom, the human version of China, the human version of France, the human version of Poland, the human version of Canada, the human version of Australia, the human version of New Zealand, the human version of South Africa, the human version of Netherlands, the human version of Belgium, the human version of Easter Egg, the human version of Luxembourg, the human version of Norway, the human version of Yugoslavia, the human version of Czechoslovakia, the human version of Greece, the human version of Ethiopia, the human version of Brazil, the human version of Mexico, the human version of Colombia, the human version of Cuba and even Catholic Jesus.

"

we hLP U PHENIX" sed jesus

"

wtf jesus datz gay sig heil" screched polandman

"wew, dats alotta heart, dank u guys" sys foenix. "but stills, how we save ficmas!" sys foenix.

"dats easy" sys the human version of Norway. "yeah" sys the human version of Belgium. "we just hadda spread ficmas anyway!" sys the human version of Soviet Union.

"gee thanks guys, huw will we do dat?" sys foenix.

"HOHOO! I still owe u 1 after dat thingyk in ch26 lawyer-boi, ill gib u my sleigh!" sys russian santa.

"wow, any1 else waanna cum?" sys foenix.

"yeh me, ima ficamssy thing AND a movie thingk now" sys krampus.

"also we is ficamssy sorta" sys teh ficmas goat, the Shitter, da Yule Lads, Zwarte Piet, Le Befana, the Christmas Log, Hunk Santa and Japanese Colonel Sanders.

TO BE CONTINUDE BY BARRYLAWN

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT TURNABOUT DIGERTZ

THE 25T DAE

phoenix went through the sleigh with juicy ronan and minty

wait what

whatever thats whats happening NOW

anyway they wanted to spread FICMAS so they merryed the ficmas to everyone

"MERRY FICMAS KIDS" shouted minty to the kids

"MERRY FICMAS BIRDS" shouted juicy to the birds

"MERRY FICMAS SNOWMEN" shouted ronan to the snowmen

"MERRY FICMAS TREES" shouted phoenix to the trees

"MERRY FICMAS WINDOWS" shouted minty to the windows

"MERRY FICMAS SHOES" shouted juicy to the shoes

"MERRY FICMAS SHIT PILES" shouted ronan to the shit piles

"MERRY FICMAS FICMAS" shouted phoenix to the ficmas

"MERRY FICMAS DIGERTZ CHARACTERS o wait they dont exist lol im insane" said minty

"MERRY FICMAS KEK OWENS" shouted juicy to the kek owens

"MERRY FICMAS GUMSHOE" shouted ronan into hell

"MERRY FICMAS DRUGS" shouted phoenix to drug e drug f drug g drug h

"MERRY FICMAS MARY" shouted minty to mary

"MERRY FICMAS JOE" shouted juicy to a beard guy

"MERRY FICMAS JESUS" shouted ronan to detective jesus

"MERRY FICMAS KINGDOM OF KHURA'IN" shouted phoenix to khura'in

"MERRY FICMAS BARRYLAWN VS DRDIGERTZ TURNABOUT BITTER RIVALRY" shouted minty to this fanfic (did you hear him outside?)

"MERRY FICMAS IAMAWRIGHTER" shouted juicy to a fuck

"MERRY FICMAS AUTONOMOUS MAGISTRATE" shouted ronan to another fuck

"MERRY FICMAS CJ FORTUNE" shouted phoenix to ANOTHER fuck

"MERRY FICMAS JAKKID166" shouted minty to jakkid

"MERRY FICMAS ICANTYPING" shouted juicy to icantyping

"MERRY FICMAS DETSNIY OFF SKIWORD"shouted ronan to detsniy

"MERRY FICMAS TUMBLR" shouted phoenix and they screamed shit at him for not saying happy holidays and for being ignorant of others

"MERRY FICMAS CAPCOM" shouted minty to the gods

"MERRY FICMAS BARRYLAWN" shouted juicy to another god

"MERRY FICMAS DRDIGERTZ" shouted ronan to another god

"MERRY FICMAS FOOTPRINT" shouted phoenix "wait thats MY footprint"

they got off and saw they were outside los angeles school

"woooow bros i forgot i was still a student" said phoenix "lololol anyway lets go to class"

they went to class

"hey wait" said juicy "its ficmas why are we in class"

"because IVE TAKEN OVER THE SCHOOL" shouted HOLMES?!

"o NO its mis homes!" shouted phoenix

"KYA KYA KYA u folls were soooo busy fighting kek owens u didnt even realize SHE WASNT THE EVIL ONE"

and then she threw an essay at them in spanish that they had to learn perfectly so they did and in the exam they learned the essay word for word and wrote it down exactly as they remembered it but they only got 3% because she CHANGED THE MARKING SHEME (srsly i no a friend got fucked by dat by one of her teechers irl it was sooooo fuckt also digertz mention somethin about doin shit in a language test like dat too... CUD MIS HOMES BE TWO PEOPLE?!)

"heh hehhhhh" laughed holmes "congratulations class u all did shit, now please lets all just move from hard spanish to lower spanish cause thats easier to teach"

they disagreed but homes made them do easier spanish

"alrite ill see u all in lower spanish, exceeept for the 4 main characters, ill talk to use after class"

so everyone left an holmes was like

"rite dis SHAMFUL total EMBARRASMENT its is UNASSEPTABLE" said holmes "u got teh same result as everyone, but urs was so patetic im kicking u out of my class have fun selling burgers for the rest of ur lives fukbois and merry FICMAS"

she went to leave when suddenly

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "ms homes we study the essay u gave us perfectly its exactly wat u wrote"

"do u have proof" said homes

"YES" shouted phoenix and he showed her the sample essay to compare with the exam

"ha" said holes "and do you have proof that this sample essay is either well written or even relevent to the exam question?"

"wat uhhh" said phoenix

"of corse u dont, u wrote allll this shit about the education system when teh question on the test was asking for an essay about the environment, so u got marks for getting ur name right, now go sell burgers"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "u snake, as some1 who studyed the education system in SPANISH i can tell u that this is fucked!"

"and as a secret agent i can say this could be serious crime" said ronan

"and as a teacher i can say why the fuck am i even here" said juicy

"and as someone who once worked for u i can say u never gave me a raise so u SUCK" said minty

"NGGHHGHNGNHGN" shouted homes "FUCK u all! FINE u can stay in my class but next test will RUIN you! (ill use a maths marking scheme next time...)"

"YEEEES" shouted phoenix and they all danced to won the case

TO BE CONTINUED HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Chapter Text

ch60

TEH END

"daaaayum, the neoxt holmes test commes fasties" sys foenix.

"yeh, well lets git dis ogre wit" sys datboi.

"mwhahahaaaa! rdy 4 teh test u fake-higher level studonts?!" scrims holmes.

"AAAAANYTIME" scrims bielal as dey git in2 de hall 4 big exam.

"o yeh, we gunna git a 'surprise visits' FROM OUR PRINCIPALS!" sys holmesy.

kek owens walks in. "o fuck didnt u die or sumthingk on de 24t day of ficmas?!" sys foenix.

"how wuld u know u werents there u INFERIOR STUDEEEENT!" sys kek owens

"wateves, gimmie dat test!" sys foenix add it was test time.

"Yeh dis test is outta 250, and u needes ATLEAST 249 2 pass! dis is hard tests!" sys kek owens

"while dey were readingks spanish test kek owens and holmes had sneaskys taalk.

"u fixed the test su only math answers wurk riiiiight?" sys kek owens. "yeh" sys holmes.

_20 MINUETES UNTIL TEST EEEENDS_

"ahaha! I finsieshed urley! Wit gud marks an all!" sys foenix andhe flips 2 de laaast page.

"OOOH FUUUUUUUUQ!" he scrims wen he reades "dis e-xam is beingk marked as maths exam" which means ALL ANSWERS ARE WRONGK!

"pssst guys, dis is actuarry a maths exam dat juist luuuks liek a spanish exam" sys foenix.

"OH FUCK aR U KIDDING ME!" scrims datboi. "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DURINGK DE EXAMS!" scrims holmes.

"oh fuck ar u kidding me!" whispers datboi. "nah, eets tru, lookey at teh bak page" sys foenix.

"yeh we fucked, iunno wat de math exam unders dis evens is" sys datboi.

then door open "are tehs studonts heares dooingk my maths exams guud?!" sys mr beef teh math teach/youtuuber.

"git ooooout! U r ruining mah exaaaam!" scrims holmes and she pushys him out.

"well atleasts we knaw who made teh exam" sys foenix.

"how does dat holp?" cri datboi. den dey looky at bielal.

bielal was grabing papers ouuta his pocket WITH CHEAT SHEETS ON THEM!

"oh shit bielal, ware u cheatingk dis exam?!" sys foenix.

"yeh, i gut cheet sheets 4 beefys test too" sys bielal.

"GIB IT NAOOOW!" sys datboi.

dey wrestles 4 cheet sheets paper and see dat deres only 1 questions on exam?

"Count too 250, dat is 250 peopless in 1 piece of fiction!" sys teh tests.

"oh shiitty, i dun knaw game of wheels or whatevs dat thingy is wit loaaadsa charictures!" sys datboi.

"its OK boi, i guess we juice gonna have 2 FIGHTY OUR WAY OUT!" and foenix CHAAARGES teh teaches.

"HWAAAAAA! and he does kool dropkick at the speed of LIGHT AT KEK OWENS!

"OW U FUQ... just kiddings!" BECAUSE A WALLA OF ALL TEH BADGUYS FRUM TEH FIC SHOWERED UP! Cleany, Manfred Von Karma, Henrietta von karma, End Yourself, /u/GreatfanBR, Beardboi, ImportAustralia, Guy in Black, Guy in White, Guy in Red, Holmes, Moe, Big Bad Barry, Mark Sananus, Damon Gant, Hon Karsma, Crapcom, JesusBoi, Detective Jesus, Baby Donald Trump, Thugaroo Mayoroo, Emo Darkside, Hillary Clinton, (LENNY), Evil Ronan Juicy, 1Karma, 2Karma, Ms Whoops, Donald Trump, TR8R Shouter, Eleanóir, SSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, Franziska von Varma, Chinese Guy in White Suit, Chinese Guy in Black Suit, Comic Book guy in White suit, Comic Book guy in Black Suit, French Guy in White Suit, French Guy in black Suit, Drug A, Drug B, Drug C, Drug D, Santa Claus with Bigger arms, Random pizza guy, Oldienne Holmes, Merlon, Mr. L, Doorguy the first, Doorguy the second, Doorguy the Third, Star wasrs roguue one, Red underchomp, blue underchomp, yellow underchomp, red underrabbit, blue underrabit, yellow underrabbit, green underrabbit, pink underrabbit, robot austrian t-800 model, skynet, Robbie, Harry Lime, Marvin Merchants, Grinch (book), grinch(movie), grinch(animated movie), turles, ebenezer scrooge, george bailey, myron larabee, jack skellington, adolf hitler, jewish jesus, krampus, Drug E, Drug F, Drug G, Drug H, Iamawrighter, autonomousmagistrate, cj fortune and tumblr-character to be exact.

"Haaa! Im leadingk de MODERN SPANISH INQUISIIITIONS! TEH FANFIC FICUISIIITIONS! TO BE EXACT!" scrim ronan who jumpy thru teh window wit his troops! to fight keke owens.

Ron Juicy, Ronan Joycey, Dick Gumshoe,Sexygril, Lana Skye, Yuri Cosmos, Clay Terran, Solomon Starbuck, Barrylawn, DrDigertz, Waluigi (Nintendo), Ronan Juicy, Miles Edgeworth, Minty ,Moosh, Ricky, Dimitri, Jakkid166, Jeff (Earthbound), Diggertz, Sleepyboi, Bielal, Datboi,Director Hotti,Tommi Oneel, Sister Bikini, Jesus Christ, Johnny, Johnny the Baptist, Jackie, Supermecha Death Christ 2000 BC version 4.0 Beta, Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Baby Peach, Spark Brushel, The Judge, Papa Gumshoe, Jake Marshall, Pennywise, Bruce Goodman,Super Mari, Indian Apollo Justdrunk, Bubblegum Monkey, Mr Dankgowan, Mr Beef, Naruhodou Ryuunosuke, Sherlock Holmes, Iris Watson, Ms Whoops, Mr IDK, Luigi, Penny Nichols, TR8TR Shouter, Marvin Grossberg, Ema Skye, Maximillion Galactica, Benjamin Woodman, Trilo ,Maggey Byrde, Adrian Andrews, Wendy, Batmane, MMFS | Mutherfucking Morgan Freeman Snowman, Buddy Teh Elf, Shigeru Miyamoto, Satoru Iwata, Mask DeMasque, Goat, Day 8, Day 11, Moneybags, Reese, Joey, Kean Laughing, Inga, Bestovius, Nolrem, George Milton, Lennie Small, Rip Hunter, Booster Gold, Emmet Brown, First Doctor, Second Doctor, Third Doctor, Fourth Doctor, Fifth Doctor, Sixth Doctor, Seventh Doctor, Eighth Doctor, Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Eleventh Doctor, Twelfth Doctor, Thirteenth Doctor, Captain Kirk, Floppy, Tobby, Bobby, Robbie, Kevin McCallister, sum random Whos, Goku, The Ghost of Ficmas Past, The Ghost of Ficmas Present, The Ghost of Ficmas Future, Clarence Odbody, Hodward Langston, the human version of United States, the human version of Soviet Union, the human version of China, the human version of France, the human version of Poland, the human version of Canada, the human version of Australia, the human version of New Zealand, the human version of South Africa, the human version of Netherlands, the human version of Belgium, the human version of Easter Egg, the human version of Luxembourg, the human version of Norway, the human version of Yugoslavia, the human version of Czechoslovakia, the human version of Greece, the human version of Ethiopia, the human version of Brazil, the human version of Mexico, the human version of Colombia, the human version of Cuba, Catholic Jesus, Russian Santa, The Ficmas Goat, the Shitter, the Yule Lads, Zwarte Piet, Le Befana, The Christmas Log, Hunk Santa, Japanese Colonel Sanders, Kids, birds, Snowmen, trees, Windows, shoes, shit piles, Mary, Joe, Jesus, ICanTypingDetsniy, Off Skiword, Capcom and Footprint to be exact.

"wew dis is pretty koool" sys phoeniix as he ssits down and watchis dis alloutty war between diffrences version of same characters, several Jesus Christs, Santa Claus' and 2manyVonKarmas.

"so um, do we pass then?" ASKS sleepboi.

"iunno, we hadda wait until teh fightey is ogre i guess" sys foenix.

"hey paaaaaals, wat udooooooingk?!" sys heroman whu just got in exam hall sumhow I hab no idea.

"whu r u agains?" a sks foenix.

"oh imma friends with barrylawn adn drdigertz" sys heroman.

"oh kool, hab u evar herd aboots jojos bizarre adventure or RWBY?!" scrims heroman.

but b4 foenix culd say he heards a yell. "DETENTION 4 U ALLLLLLL" and every1 in teh war went into detentions, even heroman 4 sum raison.

"Ahaha phoenix! Its just you and me left! And your e-xam time is uuuuuup!" scrims kek owens.

she grabbys his test. "WHAAAAAAAAT?! whare did u git all dese characters?!" she scrims.

"dey foight war infronta me kek owens" sys phoenix.

Kek owens counts dem up "HAAAA, U ONLEEES GUT 249 CHARACTERS [A/N i hab no ideas how mannny ware in dis fic, juicey roll wit it] ur fukked" saids she.

"but holmes saids i onlee needs 240 2 pass" sys foenix.

"well i dee boss so stfu, u fail" sys kek owens.

"in that case... OBJECTIOOOOON!" scrims foenix.

"overruled! u cnant object 2 me i de boss! i de..." kek owens was knocked out.

"no... I meant my pal objection whu just knocked you out will be added!" and foenxi wrote OBJECTIONS nAme down.

OBJECTION gibs a nod and disapears or sumthing, iunno.

kek owens slowely wakies up and sees foenix. "U... U LITTLE SHITS! IMMA SEND U TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" she scims and revels her devils horns!.

"No u wont, I have past your test, I saved ficmas, I travelled through space, I visited the four corners of the world, and I have died and come back more times than you have lived, Kek Owens. You are defeated utterly; Go to Hell Demon!" he finishes.

"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" scrims kek owens for the last time and... she gone. nevar 2 return.

_ONE WEEEK L8TR_

Teh warudo seemed... brigter now. Kek owens evils maade teh wurld sadder 4 every1, but its started to heal.

Tru dere ware still evil guys liek all de von karmas... but.

They aren't as bad.

Fenix hums to himselgf as he ajusts his badge. rdy 4 de neoxt adventures.

THE EEEEEEND!

A/N Wew guys 1 season and a halfs wit hiatus n' stuff. 60 chupters huh? dis collab is kill, but barry has a cool collab wit jakkid and icantyping naow, go check eet out! itsa on jakkids page s/12288762/1/jakkid166-vs-barrylawn-vs-icantyping-the-ultimate-collab. 3 chapturs in and eets alwrighty purdy dank. (oh yeahs, if u want prupper endingk just reade ch 8 agains and pretend eets kekk owens naaht von karmsa)

Dank YOU FOR READINGK MAH FIIIIC (pretond mario saids dat, dunt sue me).