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The party ended, and thank god for that. Cater was going to breakdown. He had had too much today. Too much of people, too much rules, too much weed, too much.
He stumbles into his room, a little dazed and a lot tired. He goes over to his bed and collapses crying on it. "Fuck!" He sobs into a pillow. Everything was too much and it felt like he was being crushed. He reached for his phone and looked at the time 11:13. Fuck, it was late. Who the fuck cared. He felt disgusting and he needed that changed now. He swiped lazily onto YouTube and put on a fucking angsty song. He didn't care at this point if it was cringe to cry and lipsync to this.
He grabs a bowl, a small jar, and scissors. He brings himself, his phone, and the stuff into the bathroom. He ties his hair at the bottom. It was getting too long...
He checks it over a few times in the mirror, eyes still teary and makeup running. Then he picks up the scissors and hacks at it. It's not perfect, but it's fine. He does that to the other side as well and looks at it. Some spots looked choppy so he thinned it a bit and fluffed it up. His hair was fairly curly so it didn't matter too much. He looked in the mirror. He felt a little better.
He took the bowl and dumped some of the contents of the jar in it. Black dye. He took his hand and scooped up some of the dye. He started blotching it onto his roots. He was a natural ginger and typically just made it brighter with some neon orange dye to keep up his vibrant look. But he was just so fucking sick of feeling like a picture on a screen. He feels shit for fucks sake.
He painted his roots and some strands with black dye. Then he rinsed his hands off. They were still kind of stained, but whatever. He looked different, and that was nice. He wanted to be different. He wanted to be real.
The song kept playing. He had put it on repeat. Sometimes songs helped him feel out what was going on a bit. He stared at himself a bit in the mirror.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
"Cater? Your keychain fell off your phone on your way in here, can I come in?" A voice sounded from outside his room door.
He recognized that voice anywhere. Trey.
"Yeah... Come in" His voice sounded noticeably less like usual. Less bubbly. Less exciting. Less fine
Trey came in and walked into Cater's room, looking around for him before opening the bathroom door. Trey saw Cater in a baggy shirt in front of the mirror, hair still wet with dye, and shorter than it had been earlier. His eyes didn't have a sparkle and his voice didn't tease or giggle.
"Cater are you-"
"Kat"
"Huh?.." Trey got confused at the quick intervention
"Call me Kat."
"Kat?.." Trey repeated, both confused and resting the waters.
"Yeah"
"Okay... Ca- Kat, are you okay?..."
"Not really... I'm just so fucking sick of Cater Diamond"
"But that's... You?"
"Nah..." Kat sighs, turning off the music. "'Bout an hour til I can wash the out" he added
"Do you want me to stay?" Trey asked
"Mhm.." Kat hugs him.
Trey was a bit surprised at first, but honestly more surprised by the changes in both his hair and demeanor.
"Oh, sorry, got dye on your sweater..." He apologized, looking down
"It's fine, I can always just wash it out. Mind telling me what's going on?... You don't have to if you don't want to talk right now" Trey asks gently
"I just... Something has to change... I felt so empty. It's so tiring to act 24/7. It gets to the point where you don't even know who you really are..." Kat says as he looks down and picks at his arm.
"Yeah... I get that. It feels so draining. So... Is there anyway I can help?"
"I dunno... I think I just need some rest... And to not feel like I'm a dress up doll all the time."
"Yeah, okay. So, are you planning to... Show this to everyone else? This... You?"
"Yeah... I'm just... So tired of pretending. I really don't give a fuck if I lose friends anymore. You're still standing here listening to me, so that's got to count for something." Hey says a bit dejectedly
"Hey..." Trey place is a hand on Kat's shoulder. "I'll always be here for you, okay? I don't care what your name is, how you dress, what hobbies you have. As long as you're still you, I'll always Love You... Okay?"
Kat listened to those words and didn't reply yet. He was taken aback. Scared to ask what the words "I love you" meant to Trey.
"I meant it. Romantically..."
He was surprised. But, it was everything he needed to hear. Kat hugged him again and cried. He sat there in his arms, sobbing for a while. Nearly an hour. An hour of nothing but sobbing, whimpering, and silence. Trey stroked his hair gently. "Shhh..."
"I need to... Wash the dye.." Kat said in a quiet voice, eyes puffy and red.
"Let me help. You need a shower too" Trey said, observing Kat's disheveled state. "Being clean always makes me feel better"
Kat complied and got some clean clothes from his closet and brought them into the bathroom. Once him and Trey were in, he shut the door. Kat turned on the shower to let it warm up. Trey got out a soft towel and kissed Kat's forehead.
"Let's get you cleaned up and rinse that dye."
The two had a nice warm shower and cuddled all night. This would be a long process, but it would be worth it. For both of them.