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“Chin up, mon cygne,” Augustine said, gently placing two fingers beneath Victoria’s chin and tilting her face up. “There we go.”
Victoria closed her eyes as he applied blush to her face, his movements gentle. With every stroke, he made her look like a doll come to life.
For the past two hours, Augustine had spent his time divided between getting her into her dress, carefully arranging her long blonde hair, picking accessories, and getting her makeup done. With anyone else, it would have been torturous. With Augustine, however, it was wonderful.
He was always wonderful.
“And… done.” Augustine drew the makeup brush back and turned her chair back to face the mirror. “What do you think?”
Victoria opened her eyes, taking in her reflection. The first thing she noticed was that Gus used a pale lavender eyeshadow that matched the color of her dress. At first, she thought that it was just the eyeshadow that sparkled in the candlelight, but when she leaned in, she realized it wasn’t just her eyes but her whole body.
Subtle, but there. Just as she liked it. Victoria smiled. “I think you’ve outdone yourself, Gus. You made me look radiant.”
“Darling, you know I only accentuate the beauty that is already there.” Augustine held out his hand, helping her to her feet. “Now, give me a twirl?”
Victoria shook her head, smiling. She spun around in front of the vanity, her skirt billowing out around her like the petals on a flower. She could already see herself dancing in it, with Percy—
Victoria came to an abrupt stop.
“Perfect,” said Augustine, nodding. “I knew it was, of course, I just needed to make sure. The fabric is light, so it won’t be as difficult for you to move around…”
Victoria could see his mouth moving, but the words weren’t quite reaching her ears. Still, she nodded along, forcing her face to remain neutral.
It had been nearly a year since Percy broke up with her; since he told her he didn’t love her anymore. A year, and she still found herself thinking about things like that. It was pathetic how she still couldn’t move on after all this time. He made it clear it was over.
And yet… she still couldn’t help but hope he would walk through that door and sweep her off her feet.
“…but then Myron said Donaghan needed something that moved a bit better, so I knew I had to make it myself,” Augustine finished. He looked at the clock on Victoria’s desk and shook his head. “Gods, look at the time! Come on, we have a party to get you to.”
Victoria made herself smile, hoping it didn’t appear too forced. She nodded as if she had been following his conversation all along and made her way out of her bedroom.
The few minutes it took for Victoria and Augustine to walk down the corridor to the ballroom gave her all the time she needed to push Percy from her thoughts. She had a job as a hostess to put her best foot forward, even if it was her own party.
The Roseroot Ballroom had been home to many galas in Macmillan Manor’s many years of existence, and this one was no different, though perhaps on a bit of a smaller scale. From the balcony overlooking the room, Victoria could see a few groups mingling around. She took a deep breath through her nose and started to make her way down the stairs.
“Happy birthday Vic!” Elena Pérez, one of Victoria’s roommates at Hogwarts said as soon as Victoria made her way around the banister. The brunette pulled her into a tight hug, her body shaking with excitement. “I forgot how gorgeous your house is! I think I want a place just like it when Pari and I move into our own place.”
Victoria laughed, embracing her. “I hope you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for. It’s good to see you again, Elena.” When they drew apart, Victoria nodded in greeting to Pari Patil, another one of her roommates, who stood behind Elena. “And you too, Pari.”
“Good to see you too, Victoria,” Pari said. “And happy birthday.”
“It’s been so long since we last saw each other,” Elena continued. “Way too long. How have things been? You look gorgeous. Did your designer make your dress? He did amazing!”
An arm wrapped around Victoria’s shoulders, drawing her close to the owner’s chest. Victoria recognized the beating of her brother’s heart before he even started speaking.
“Sorry, Elena, but I need to borrow the birthday girl for a bit,” Ernie said cheerfully. “I don’t think I could even call myself a proper brother unless I insist on embarrassing her as we dance.”
“Oh! Of course!” Elena smiled brightly and waved at the siblings before turning back to Pari. “I think that we could do something like this back home, right? With the lights and the…”
Ernie drew Victoria to his chest, swaying with her as they went to the center of the ballroom. Victoria rolled her eyes at the expression on his face.
“You look way too smug, Ernest,” Victoria scolded. “At least try to look a bit humble, will you?”
He laughed. “Oh, come on Vic. Don’t act like you didn’t do the exact same thing with me.”
Victoria smiled at the memory, shaking her head. “Yes, well that’s what sisters are supposed to do. Get their little brothers—” she pinched his arm “—out of trouble.”
She let him spin her before he led her into a waltz. Victoria looked around, recognizing another one of her roommates Cassa dancing with her girlfriend Antigone. Behind them, she recognized the curls of Hadlee Euphoric dancing with someone she did not know.
“That’s Matt,” Ernie whispered against Victoria’s ear. “He’s in my year. Slytherin. I don’t really know him, but he seems nice enough. A bit shy, if I’m being honest. Doesn’t talk much.”
“Well, it is a bit difficult to get a word in when talking with you.”
“Har har,” Ernie said, his voice deadpan. “You’re hilarious.”
As the song came to an end, Ernie grasped onto Victoria’s waist a bit tighter before letting go. He leaned down, kissing her forehead. She closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath as she did her best not to cry.
“Happy birthday, Icky-Vicky,” Ernie murmured.
Victoria stood on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck. Don’t start crying, she told herself. Augustine worked too hard on your makeup for you to start bawling at your baby brother calling you a nickname he used when he was in diapers.
The hours passed by in a blur after that. Victoria danced, greeted guests, danced some more, tried to figure out why Eljay Skeeter insisted on snogging Cedric every time Hadlee glanced at them, ate a bit of food, danced again, and then listened to a rant from her cousin Oliver Wood about something the Canons had done recently as soon as she sat down.
So many people were there to celebrate her. So many incredible and wonderful people she had gotten to know through the years were all gathered under one roof for her birthday.
So why did she still have to force the smile on her face?
Victoria wandered back to Augustine, grasping onto his hand as soon as she was by his side. He paused mid-conversation with Myron Wagtail as she squeezed.
“I need a minute,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “Cover for me?”
Augustine held onto her hand for a moment, grounding her, before grabbing Myron’s cloak and wrapping it around her shoulders. “Go.”
Victoria murmured her thanks and brushed past him, going through the wide open french doors to the stone balcony overlooking the gardens. The cold February air bit at her cheeks, but for the first time since the start of the party she felt she could breathe.
The music seeped out from the inside out to her. Victoria turned, seeing how happy everyone appeared to be inside. Her parents danced together where she and Ernie had been a few hours ago. Leah Anderson, the last of her Hogwarts roommates, chatted with Gabriel Truman, who was the male Hufflepuff prefect in Victoria’s year. Aunt Dolli laughed with her wife Charity over by a server carrying a tray of hors d’oeuvres. Radiant kissed Oliver, making the ballroom a whole lot quieter. Fern stood at one end of the ballroom talking to Ernie and Abby.
No one was paying attention to her.
Victoria turned back to the gardens and took a deep breath. She envisioned herself growing smaller and smaller, pictured her hair turning to white feathers and her neck growing even longer. When she opened her eyes again, she was no longer a woman, but a swan.
She shifted from webbed foot to webbed foot, wobbling for a moment as she adjusted to the form she was in. Even though she had been an animagus for seven years now, it still took some getting used to. It didn’t help that she hadn’t changed forms for a few months.
She lifted her wings, making two large flaps and took to the air. Victoria circled the Manor for a moment, doing her best not to think about how high up she was.
Over on the east end of the grounds was a lake she had played in since she was a young girl. Victoria swooped towards it, landing in the water with a small splash. She ruffled her feathers, making her way across the dark surface. As soon as her webbed feet touched the muddy surface, she turned back into a woman.
There was a loud honk that made her jump. Victoria turned to the sound, her dress floating around her.
A black-necked goose sat in a cluster of reeds, looking up at her in what she could only assume was horror. His beak was wide open as if she had literally shocked him.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Victoria apologized. “You’ve probably never seen something like that before, have you?”
She sank to her knees, letting her skirt fall around her. She held out her hand to the gander, softly clicking her tongue off the roof of her mouth. To her surprise, the goose made her way over to her, settling right next to her.
It was then Victoria noticed the shaking of his body. “Are you cold? You can sit on my lap if you wish.”
It was impossible for a goose to look smug, but the gander next to her was as close as Victoria assumed a bird could get. She let out a small laugh as he ruffled his feathers and made his way onto her.
“I suppose this is all rather silly, isn’t it?” asked Victoria, gently petting the gander’s back between his wings. “I’m turning twenty years old today. All of my family and most of my friends are inside, celebrating me, yet I’m out here with a goose. A very nice goose, but a goose nonetheless.”
The wind picked up, sending strands of her carefully arranged hair blowing across her face. Victoria shivered, pulling the cloak tighter around her shoulders. The gander in her lap shifted, spreading one of his wings over her legs. When he looked at her, she felt as if he was actually understanding what she was saying.
Even the blue of his eyes reminded her of…
“I miss him,” Victoria whispered. The lake rippled as the first tear rolled off her face and into the water. “I miss him so much, it hurts. Everywhere I go, I see him. I think of him. Every day I look for him, expecting him to be there, but he isn’t. Every day I hope I’ll wake up and he’ll be beside me when I open my eyes, but no one is in my bed but me.”
She buried her face in the goose’s feathers, doing her best not to start sobbing. She felt the gander’s neck wrap around her body as much as it could, as if it was embracing her.
“I have to… I have to accept he isn’t coming back. But I can’t.”
Victoria drew the gander closer to her, letting out a shaky breath.
“I still love him,” she whispered. “And I think I always will.”