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Buck is backstage, getting ready for his triumphant entrance, when he hears Ravi’s name being called.
He glances over his shoulder just in time to see Ravi disappear behind the curtain and hear the cheers that greet him. A brief silence follows and Buck’s stomach flips, but then the bidding starts along with the return of the shouting, and Buck feels even worse.
There’s a bitter taste in his mouth that he doesn’t recognize.
The numbers keep climbing and Buck stares at his reflection in a small mirror on the wall. He fights the urge to run out there and shout that Ravi was his, no matter the price.
The feeling makes him dizzy. Buck takes a deep breath, tries not to pay attention when the auction for Ravi finally ends, definitely does not memorize the exact amount of the winning bid, and waits for his turn. He never thought about Ravi like that before and he’s not going to start tonight.
It’s obvious that Buck is a terrible liar.
—
“So, Ravioli, heard you’re quite the celebrity with the ladies?”
Buck shoves his backpack to the back of his locker. It’s the first shift after the auction and he can’t seem to feel good, even after helping raise thousands of dollars for charity, even after proving to himself that he’s still capable of trusting his own judgment.
Ravi is laughing with Chimney and Buck hates himself. Maybe he hasn’t made as much progress with his self-esteem these past few days as he thought.
“I was surprised too,” Ravi replies.
Before he can stop himself, Buck turns around and props a foot up on the bench Ravi is sitting on.
“Why? Of course all the women there would want you.”
One of Ravi’s eyebrows shoots up immediately.
“Thanks, Buck, I think,” he says slowly. Buck stumbles over his words.
“No, man, I mean, you’ve got a pretty face and all. It would’ve been stupid if there hadn’t been a war over you.”
“Wow, Buck, we get it, Ravi’s hot.” Chimney cuts in, throwing his arms up with a huge grin. He laughs. “Sounds like you would’ve placed a bid yourself, Buck. Don’t get carried away, Panikkar.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Buck protests, but it is exactly what he meant.
Now both of Ravi’s eyebrows are raised and he opens his mouth to say something, a mischievous smile starting to form, but right then Eddie appears in the locker room doorway.
“Morning, guys.”
Ravi’s eyebrows fall back into place, but he gives Buck one last smile before turning to greet Eddie.
Buck goes with the flow, spends the rest of the day acting normal, but he feels Ravi’s gaze burning into the back of his neck at every moment. That bitterness he felt days earlier at the auction slowly turns into something even scarier: hope.
By the end of the shift, Chimney has already forgotten the joke that started the day. Eddie never even heard about it.
They head up to the loft, each one sprawled in a different corner, just waiting for the time to leave or one last emergency before the shift ends, and Ravi quietly slips over to stand beside Buck at the kitchen counter.
“Hey,” Ravi says, resting his elbows on the counter. Buck looks up from the game on his phone.
“Hey,” he replies.
“So, when’s your date with the old ladies?” Ravi asks. He forces a doe eyed look, something innocent in those huge brown eyes, but Buck knows him well enough to recognize it’s fake. He laughs.
“I left it open so they can pick the date. I’m not in a rush.”
Ravi hums in agreement, sliding a finger along the countertop.
“And yours?” Buck adds.
“Mine?”
“Your date. From the auction.”
“Oh.” Ravi smiles. “Not sure.”
Once again, Buck proves he’s a terrible liar with self-esteem issues. He can’t let Ravi’s vague answer stand and, like the idiot only Buck Buckley can be when he’s slightly in love with his coworker, he pushes:
“You and May, then? Interesting.”
There’s that smile again, that teasing, slightly wicked look Ravi uses specifically to mess with someone on the team. He’s smiled like that at Buck over and over since his rookie days, smiled like that every time Buck was being foolish or dramatic.
“Not really. We talked and she asked me out for coffee. That’s it.”
“Athena’s definitely going to interrogate you first.”
“What makes you think she hasn’t already?”
Buck laughs. He desperately tries to find an opening, a path he can follow where this doesn’t hurt, a false memory that makes him believe he never wanted to take part in that auction in the first place.
“But it’s nothing serious,” Ravi continues. “I think she felt bad that the bids took a while to start and wanted to help me out.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, man. I get it. Save that for Athena.”
Ravi looks away and laughs softly.
“I know I don’t have to explain myself, Buck. I just wanted to tell you.”
Chimney gets up from the couch and heads downstairs. Eddie yawns.
Buck watches Ravi track their movement, his eyes attentive as Chimney walks away.
“And what was the final bid again?” Buck knows exactly what it was.
Ravi looks back at him. He shrugs.
“Enough.”
His finger is still gliding over the cool stone of the counter. Buck’s hand moves on its own and he traps Ravi’s finger in place, just for a second, before letting go.
That damn smile. Now Buck realizes it might mean something else: Ravi reads every member of the 118 well. He’s smart and observant and never misses anything. In that moment, he looks at Buck and smiles as if to say “I won”.
Buck swallows hard. He’s terrible at lying.
“Tell me how much and maybe I can outbid it.”
Ravi himself brings his hand back to Buck’s. He squeezes briefly, glances toward the couch once more, and lets go.
“Pick the right restaurant and I promise I’ll make you spend a lot of money. Deal?”
Ravi walks toward the stairs, goes down without looking back and without waiting for any kind of answer.
Buck thinks he might throw up. He checks the clock and sees it’s been two minutes since the end of their shift.
Eddie finally stands up. He finds Buck still frozen in the kitchen, walks over, and gives him a slap on the shoulder.
“Let’s go,” he says. Buck doesn’t react immediately, so Eddie adds, “Hey, Buck, you good?”
Buck nods. “Yeah. All good.”
“Man, you’re such a bad liar. Come on.”
Eddie drags him out of the station and into the parking lot, where Ravi’s car has already been gone for minutes.
Before driving home, Buck opens his messaging app and finds Ravi’s contact. For once, he’s honest when he types:
Deal.