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“Ah, Mr. Faeth, so glad you could find time to come see me this afternoon.”
“Technically, I should be off by now – lunchtime and therefore meal service is done and I’ve finished cleaning the cafeteria and prepping for tomorrow. The rest of the children have gone home already, along with most of the staff. I- I’m very tired, Mr. Goldenhoard.”
“Yes, I understand, and I appreciate you staying late for this. Now-”
“This is about the monkey, isn’t it?”
“Well, no- but- I mean- come on, you were right there!”
“It bit me, sir. I panicked.”
“Yes, well, alright, I can see that. No, this is about-”
“About the fire this past Monday?”
“No, no, that was self-contained and we had plenty of students eager to use Create Water to put it out.”
“Friday’s?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Is this about Friday’s fire?”
“No-”
“Then Tuesday’s.”
“This is not about any of the fires!”
“Then yesterday when a couple seniors decided to practice their Reverse Gravity spell during lunchtime, sending everyone and all the food to the ceiling? I was in there all night cleaning the ceiling. Honestly, sir, why does Aguefort employ a custodian if the man refuses to clean the cafeteria?”
“Kasavian the Wise has an anti-food clause in his contract. (He should be called Kasavian the Shrewd with how well he negotiates his contracts.) No, Mr. Faeth, I’m referring to the Steak Incident!”
“‘Steak Incident?’ I- I don’t recall there being anything like that!”
“Did you or did you not take Madame Shadow’s steaks, grind them up, and use them in the meatloaf last Thursday? And serve the students something you called ‘ghostloaf?’ Eugenia is very upset about her missing lunch!”
“...What? Last Thursday? I was out sick that day.”
“Nonsense! We exchanged a fist bump in the hallway! I distinctly remember because normally you always flinch away from anyone aiming a fist… towards… you…”
“...”
“... That was your daughter in disguise, wasn’t it?”
“I’m afraid so, Mr. Goldenhoard.”
*sigh* “Very well, you are dismissed, Mr. Faeth, and your daughter does have another detention booked for this Saturday.”
“Thank you, sir. I’ll… pass that along.”
“See that you do. Goodbye.”