Archive of Our Own

The sun is scorching as Phainon finally slows down to a brisk walk. His heart is pumping hard in his chest as he catches his breath. Snowy also slows down to match his pace, his tail wagging happily behind him as the view of the park opens up to the playground instead of the walkways. His heart is thumping hard in his chest but it’s not just from his long run.

His heart might just give up as he thinks about the sight that will greet him when he finally completes his cool down. This has been Phainon’s running route for as long as he can remember, and for the last ythree weeks, there’s a new addition to the park that not many people noticed.

For someone as beautiful as the stranger sitting on a bench near the playground, a book always in hand with one leg crossed over the other with a straight back, people walk past him without much consideration. He’s always dressed wonderfully too; a little bit much for the park but it’s always a soothing sight for Phainon’s eyes. Phainon has always been a little bit curious about the eye patch that the man wears over his left eye.

Soft, long green hair is pulled into a low ponytail that rests on his right shoulder. His fox-shaped tourmaline eye is focused on the book that’s held in slender hands, and when the sun hits just right, it highlights the thin nose and sharp jaw that softens the man’s entire frame. He looks cold and unapproachable, but it doesn’t deter Phainon from wanting to get to know him. He’s never a different bench, never a different seat, always on time. His consistency is amazing.

Snowy barks out loud, his tail wagging as he waits for Phainon to guide him to the nearby pet fountain to hydrate. As Snowy laps at the water fountain, Phainon squats down next to him to give him some scratches. “What a good boy you are, huh, Snowy? We had such a good run today.”

Snowy’s response is through his entire body, rumbling in happiness as he accepts Phainon’s praise. Phainon laughs as he stands back up to his full height to grab a few mouthfuls of water for himself at the other fountain. By the time they’re both hydrated, Snowy’s fur is slightly damp from how much water he’s drunk. Phainon wipes himself down as much as he can and prays that he doesn’t smell bad from his run.

He subtly does a sniff of himself, earning him an odd look from a nearby passerby. Phainon almost flushes in embarrassment but he reminds himself that he’s only doing this weird thing because he wants to impress that pretty man.

”Okay, Snowy, just as we practiced,” Phainon whispers to Snowy as softly as he can with all the children screaming and giggling in the playground. Snowy tilts his head to the side, his tongue out as he pants.

Phainon’s hopes wilt a little. Just a little, but he trusts his friend. Snowy has never disappointed him and he’s not going to let him down now! They walk down the path that brings them closer to the gorgeous stranger on the bench before Snowy suddenly takes off in the direction of the bench. Phainon’s hold on the leash loosens significantly before the entire thing ‘accidentally’ slips out of his hands.

”Snowy!” Phainon calls out, his voice tinged with enough franticness that it sounds sincere. But then, his sweet little puppy goes off the rails and headbutts himself into the stranger’s leg enough to knock him off his axis. The book falls out of his hands as he makes a small noise of surprise, his eye widening from the sudden interruption.

Phainon’s jaw drops as he quickly catches up to them, his well-thought-out conversation starter disappearing off his tongue. Snowy rubs his head against the stranger’s leg as an apology before he bumps his nose against the man’s calf.

“Snowy!” Phainon calls out, this time his voice actually frantic as Snowy continues to seek attention from the man on the bench. He’s settled on his hind legs as he looks up at the man with his big, round eyes and cute little tongue. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

Phainon quickly picks up the book, hoping that the impact didn’t do any damage to the book, only to wince at the dirt clinging to the crumpled pages. His heart is trembling as he dusts the pages as much as he can. How did his dog completely go off rails from what they had agreed on?!

”It’s no matter,” a smooth, quiet voice reassures Phainon, startling him. The man on the bench leans forward to bury his hands in Snowy’s soft fur to give him a few scratches. Snowy rumbles happily, his eyes closing as he melts into the two slender hands. That tourmaline eye gazes upon Snowy fondly for a second before it meets bright blue eyes. “It’s very rare to be greeted by such an adorable pup.”

Oh, Phainon thinks as his heart skips a beat. This isn’t good. He’s so gorgeous and Snowy is such a traitor— Wait.

The corners of the stranger’s lips seem to lift as Phainon stares at him a little longer with his mouth agape. “Snowy is your puppy’s name?”

”Uh-huh…” Phainon says dumbly. Snowy barks at him once, sharply, and Phainon snaps himself back to reality. Oh, he was already talking to his nameless gorgeous stranger! “His name is Snowy, mine’s Phainon. I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t think Snowy was going to—“

”It’s alright, Phainon.”

Phainon shuts his mouth, his eyes going wide from hearing his name coming out of the stranger’s mouth. His name is so smooth and warm on his tongue; Phainon shivers at how good it sounds.

”Um, here!” Phainon awkwardly shoves out the book he’s been holding in his hands like a high schooler handing out his love letter to his crush and he wants to curse at himself. “I’m really sorry!”

The stranger huffs as he takes his book from Phainon’s hands, delicate fingers brushing against Phainon’s calloused ones briefly. A jolt of electricity causes goosebumps to rise on Phainon’s skin and his entire frame to tremble. His mouth goes dry as heat creeps up his cheeks.

“I told you it’s fine, stop apologising,” the stranger sighs, placing the book down on the space next to him before he gestures for Phainon to sit down beside him on the open seat. “My name is Anaxagoras.”

Phainon’s head is still spinning from everything that has just happened that he unfortunately embarrasses himself again. “Anaxagor— Can I call you Anaxa?”

Thin lips press themselves together as that fox eye narrows mildly. “Is Anaxagoras too hard for you to remember?”

Phainon laughs sheepishly as he gestures for his traitorous dog to come back to his side. “No, it’s not that. I’m afraid I might call you Anaxagorgeous instead.”

Anaxa freezes in his place, his gem-like eye widening in shock. From this close, Phainon picks up the fainted hues of pinkness in the eye that seem to shyly hide away from the rest of the world. When Phainon realises what he has just said, his face goes even hotter and he can only shamefully drop his head.

“I- I mean— Anaxa is much easier on the tongue and I don’t want to mispronounce your name at all. It’s a very gorgeous name and I think it’ll be a pity if I screw it up—“

A small snort tears into Phainon’s dilemma and he looks up in embarrassment. Anaxa looks amused as he gives Snowy another rub on the head, his gaze now solely focused on Phainon. “It’s Anaxagoras. But since it seems like it’ll be very hard for you to remember it well, you can call me Anaxa until you can pronounce it right.”

Phainon’s mortification knows no end as he blushes. He had fully planned out how this conversation is supposed to go, but Snowy just had to derail it and now Phainon is so flustered that he can’t even think right.

The worst of it all is that Anaxa is just taking it as Phainon comes, which should be even worse!

Snowy whines softly, leaning forward into Anaxa’s space as he attempts to plop his head on the man’s thighs without permission.

“Snowy!” Phainon scolds, in disbelief that his dog is behaving like a harlot. “I’m sorry, Anaxa. Snowy doesn’t usually act like this…!”

Anaxa doesn’t seem to mind. He pats his thigh and Snowy eagerly latches himself onto Anaxa. A delicate brow raises itself as Anaxa asks, “Just like how you usually don’t act like this?”

Phainon groans and buries his face into his hands, his humiliation burning through his usually thick skin. He’s usually really good at being shameless, but in front of someone as gorgeous as Anaxa, he finds himself rather helpless.

”I’m…!”

The corners of Anaxa’s mouth lifts and the skies decide to clear up for the morning sun to shine down, casting an ethereal glow on Anaxa, showing off that cold beauty and clearing out Phainon’s thoughts once again.

“I noticed you run the same route almost everyday,” Anaxa says as he changes the direction to save Phainon some face. Fingers card through Snowy’s pristine fur and Phainon’s dog purrs in satisfaction. Rude. “Always around the same time, too.”

Phainon can’t help but perk up. “You noticed us running?”

Anaxa hums as Snowy leans heavily into his palm. “Two white pups, one bigger than the other. It’s hard not to notice.”

It takes Phainon a second to process Anaxa’s words before his entire face explodes in heat. This is definitely not going according to plan! Biting down on his lower lip, Phainon tries to recall what his plan was before Snowy had changed its entire trajectory. But he can’t remember anything anymore, so he guesses he’ll just have to be as honest as he can be without running this conversation to the ground.

Just as he opens his mouth, his eyes catch sight of the book on the bench and his eyes widen. It’s a history book about Amphoreus’s history, and something clicks in his head.

Amphoreus history.

That’s what he majored in at university!

”You’re reading up on the history of Amphoreus?”

Anaxa’s gaze flickers over to the book on the bench and then he nods. “You know Amphoreus’ history?”

Phainon grins, finally able to relax after being embarrassed every step of the conversation. “I majored in it. What exactly are you reading up on?”

“The era of the Imperator. A coworker has been spewing nonsense recently that doesn’t sound right so I’d rather educate myself about history than be misinformed.”

Educating himself instead of being fed information through word of mouth is rather attractive. Most of Phainon’s friends feed off whatever is readily available on the internet. The Imperator was a tyrant that Phainon’s professor spent a long time on, making sure his students understood that her results did not justify her actions.

He remembers the many long debates he had to endure and now it’s finally useful.

“Oh, my professor spent an entire semester on the Imperator! I’ll be happy to discuss this if you’re open to it.”

His eye goes wide as Anaxa considers his words thoughtfully. “So a debate if I don’t agree with your theory.”

Phainon wilts mildly at the memory of the debates about the Imperator. But since Anaxa is reading the book, maybe he might be different. “Sure!”

Just as Anaxa wants to retort, his attention is taken away by something in his pocket. Snowy moves backwards as Anaxa moves, scooting to place himself between Phainon and Anaxa and resting himself against Phainon’s leg. Anaxa pulls out his phone and frowns as he reads the notification before sighing. “Sorry. Something came up, I have to make a move. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Disappointment flutters briefly in Phainon’s chest but he quickly perks up at the promise of tomorrow. “Yeah, of course! See you tomorrow!”

Anaxa offers him a small smile as he gets up to his feet and gives Snowy one last rub around his neck.

As Phainon watches Anaxa’s retreating back exit the park, he realises he didn’t ask for Anaxa’s number. That was the point of his whole plan.

“Fuck!”

Snowy barks loudly, as if in agreement. Phainon gives his dog a wilting look, clearly pinning the blame on his dog. Snowy only thumps his tail against the ground, as if disappointed in his own owner.

No matter, Phainon tells himself. He will be more bold and ask Anaxa for his number the next time.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

Phainon’s fingers drum nervously against the coffee machine as it churns out a fresh shot. In front of him, the late afternoon crowd in the coffee shop he works part time at is bustling with people.

It’s been two days since he got to know Anaxa and he somehow still hasn’t gotten the chance to ask for his number. He’s so embarrassed because Snowy has somehow managed to derail his conversations with Anaxa once again with his bubbly, overeager personality. It seems like Snowy himself has even taken a big liking to Anaxa. This morning, Snowy nearly ran Phainon over to make his way to the door so that he could go on his run.

Snowy has always been a samoyed with a big heart, but he never expects Snowy to be this eager. He loves stopping for people when they have treats or offering rubs. But he’s never been this enthusiastic about meeting people.

A small part of Phainon can’t help but wonder if it’s his fault. He has, after all, been talking to Snowy a lot about Anaxa prior to actually getting to know him. He’s been building up his courage for days, and spent a long time trying to figure out what’s the best way to approach Anaxa. But of course, life has never worked out according to plan for Phainon.

The problem is that he simply saw a very pretty man reading a book and it just snapped into his mind that he needed to befriend him, to get to know him. He hasn’t thought even further what else he hopes to expect out of this.

His priority is to simply get to know Anaxa.

But if Phainon has to admit, the last two mornings with Anaxa have been nice. It’s only a small section of their very long day, but Phainon genuinely finds his mood much better after catching up with Anaxa briefly and discussing the Imperator. It helps that Phainon loves to talk and the topics that he brings up are all of interest for Anaxa – the Imperator, some foreign language novels that Phainon enjoys reading, his part-time job, and even Snowy’s little backstory. Phainon, in return, learns that Anaxa is a vet who spends rather long hours at the clinic, which is why he doesn’t stay at the park very long.

Emergencies always crop up and Anaxa is always at the ready to respond to calls as much as he can, which was what happened yesterday. Anaxa doesn’t need to explain anything. They’re still considered strangers, but he welcomes it anyway. Still, he can’t believe it’s the second day and he still hasn’t gotten Anaxa’s number. He was supposed to ask but every time he meets Anaxa’s beautiful gaze, he finds his mind just blanks out.

Phainon sighs as he pours the shot of coffee into the takeaway cup before frothing milk. As he pours the frothed milk into the cup, he peeks at the clock helplessly. It’s another fourteen hours before he’ll see Anaxa again, and Phainon can’t wait.

“Someone is very distracted today,” a chirpy voice interrupts Phainon’s thoughts. He knows who it is, so he doesn’t bother to turn. He focuses on the final details of the latte order, drizzling some cocoa powder on top of it lightly before he seals off the cup with a lid. “You’re rarely distracted.”

His laughter is small and bashful. As he finally turns to call out the customer’s name, he meets his coworker’s eyes. Stelle’s eyes are big and bright like the setting sun that’s shining warm, golden light into the cafe. Outside, the streets are bustling as the workday slowly drags itself to an end. Inside the cafe, college students have found themselves comfortable in booths, while others are talking businesses across the round tables. There are some who have found comfort in their own books or laptops, minding their own business as they sip their own drinks.

Phainon calls out the customer’s name and slides the coffee cup across the table. As the customer approaches, Phainon offers a warm smile. “Have a lovely evening!”

“Same to you!”

It’s a routine he’s familiar with and not something he’s willing to part. Phainon should be finding a full time job at this point. He graduated last month but the job market is bad and this job pays him well enough to sustain him till he finds something better. Besides, his coworkers are the best.

Once the customer walks away, Phainon turns to look at Stelle with a raised brow. “What do you mean distracted?”

Stelle waves a hand in front of him, gesturing to all of him. “Your pretty head is not in the game. It’s almost like someone has stolen all your attention away and you’re barely here.”

A small heat rushes to his cheeks as he wipes down the coffee machine. “It’s nothing like that. I’ve just been thinking about Snowy.”

Stelle snorts, folding her arms over her chest. “You’ve had Snowy for a year now. You never look like this when you think about Snowy. Did you meet someone?”

“No…” Phainon says hesitantly. “Maybe?”

Stelle raises a brow. “So is it a yes or a no?”

Phainon opens his mouth, the familiar embarrassment creeps up to his cheeks again. Seeing his expression, Stelle’s lips curl into a small ‘o’ before she snickers. “Oh, it’s more than just a friend, is it?”

“Just a friend!” Phainon frantically interjects, his hands flying up to wave off her accusations. She doesn’t look like he believes him, though. Just as she rests her hip against the counter top, the bell on the door to the cafe rings. Both of them turn to look and greet the new customer who just walks in, and Phainon’s face turns entirely red.

Standing in front of the cashier is Anaxa, but he’s dressed very differently from what Phainon remembers him from this morning. He wears a dark green button down shirt that’s tucked into a pair of black slacks and his hair is pulled up into a high ponytail. His eyepatch still sits snugly on his left eye as his right inspects the menu.

Compared to the cool, chatty Anaxa this morning, this Anaxa looks more tired, a little worn down around the edges. It’s as though this is his coffee break and he needs to breathe.

“Anaxa!” Phainon blurts out before he can stop himself. Stelle’s eyes are wide as she turns to look fully at the customer by the counter and Anaxa’s own eye is filled with surprise. He glances between the menu, the door, and back to Phainon before a miniscule smile graces his expression. It’s so small but it changes his entire demeanor and Phainon’s heart does a small skip.

“Phainon. I didn’t know you work here.”

Stelle’s gaze alternates between both men before her eyes light up like she just connected the dots. She skips over to the cashier and greets Anaxa with a grin, her entire expression lighting up like its Christmas. “Hi! Welcome to the Eternal Cafe! What can we get for you?”

Phainon shuffles over to Stelle’s side, stealing a small glance at Anaxa before he gives Stelle a warning look. His friend, however, pretends not to see it. Anaxa is contemplating the items on the menu, a small frown on his lips.

His voice is tired as he says, “I’m not sure what’s good. A black coffee would suffice.”

“Oh, if you’re looking for something strong, I’d recommend our Affogato. The ice cream topped on it is handmade by our Phainon.”

“Handmade by Phainon?” Anaxa repeats, his interest piqued. “I’ll try it, then. Make it a double shot.”

“You won’t regret it! Phainon always put his whole heart into making the ice cream.”

Anaxa nods thoughtfully. “Alright. I’ll have mine to go, please.”

“Aw, not going to stay–”

“Stelle,” Phainon interrupts firmly but kindly. His cheeks are hot as he glances at the other customers standing behind Anaxa. “There’s a queue about to form if you don’t hurry up.”

“Oh, oops! Can I get your name for your order, sir?”

“There’s no nee–”

“It’s Anaxagoras.”

“Anaxago– Didn’t Phainon call you Anaxa? Can I just write that?”

Phainon looks at her with mild horror and Stelle laughs as Anaxa flatly looks at her. “I’m sorry. Anaxagoras, it is.”

She pens his name down prettily on his cup and passes the cup over to Phainon. When Anaxa can’t see, she grins impishly before she turns back to Anaxa with her most professional expression. Phainon can’t even begin to think what’s going on in her mind as he gets to work, his focus barely there.

Anaxa is here, at his workplace that he didn’t tell him about, looking just as tired as any other corporate worker. As Phainon works on his drink, Anaxa approaches him with his head slightly tilted to the side.

“What a coincidence.”

Phainon laughs; the sound comes out a little bit more strangled than anything else. “I didn’t think we would work so close to each other!”

Anaxa nods, taking another look around the cafe. “You’re right. I’ve heard of this place because of my assistant but I never had the time to come out for coffee.”

As Phainon carefully pours the first shot of coffee into the takeaway cup, he asks, “Long day?”

Anaxa sighs, folding his arms in a way that looks like he’s embracing himself. “Had to put down a patient today.”

That’s enough for Phainon to stop asking. The sound of coffee beans grinding is loud enough to put a stop to their conversation. Around them, other conversations continue on as their lives do without knowing how others have been affected.

Swallowing lightly, Phainon asks, “Do you like your coffee sweet?”

“Yes, though I’m not allowed to take too much sweetener.”

Phainon looks up confusedly to see a dramatic pout on Anaxa’s face that makes him look young and childish. It’s a look he doesn’t expect on Anaxa but it’s also a look that makes him want to pinch his cheek.

“I think you deserve something sweet today.” Phainon responds as he picks up the bottle of vanilla syrup. He lines the upper half of the cup with it before he moves over to the ice cream freezer. He carefully carves out two generous scoops of ice cream and places it gently into the coffee cup.

Anaxa’s gaze is steady with a flicker of greed in them as he watches Phainon seal the cup with a lid and a spoon.

“Here!” He twists the cup with Anaxa’s name on it to face the older man, and this is where everything seems to fall apart. Phainon catches the familiar sight of twelve digits scrawled across the other side of the cup that he’s been neglecting.

Call me! ;) is written boldly under Phainon’s number and his jaw drops.

Before he can pull back, Anaxa’s slender hand wraps around the cup and takes it out of his hold.

“Oh, wait— Hang on—!”

But Anaxa has already turned the cup in his hands and his eye grows round as he takes in the small note. Phainon’s hands are clammy and his back is drenched from nervousness as Anaxa reads it a few times. Dread and embarrassment fills Phainon’s cheeks and veins as Anaxa says nothing.

After what feels like an eternity, Anaxa lifts the cup to his lips and takes a taste. His expression doesn’t change but he hums a soft sound of approval. “It’s good.”

Phainon’s knees feel like they’re going to give out. How can Stelle do him this dirty?!

“Anaxa, about the message on the cup…”

“It’s fine,” Anaxa says dismissively. “I don’t mind.”

Phainon flushes so hard from head to toe that he’s sure there’s smoke coming out from his scalp. He doesn’t even know what to say!

Anaxa smiles faintly and continues, “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“…See you…!”

He is so embarrassed that he’s rooted to the ground, his hand barely coming up to wave Anaxa goodbye. Phainon can only helplessly watch as Anaxa looks at him with amusement in his gaze before he leaves.

Despair fills Phainon as he turns on his heel to glare at the back of Stelle’s head, hoping to drill holes into it. He knows he should be grateful that Anaxa finally has his number but not like this!

He opens his mouth, about to scold Stelle, who is still taking orders, when the phone in his pocket vibrates.

[05:34PM] Unknown Number: I accept apologies in the form of Snowy photos.

[05:34PM] Unknown Number: The affogato is good and the ice cream is amazing, by the way.

Warmth spreads across his chest as he rereads the two simple messages over and over again with a grin spreading across his face. Phainon feels like he’s sixteen again and he wants to throw himself on the bed and kick his feet.

Maybe he doesn’t need to scold Stelle after all.

Or maybe he should still scold Stelle. Just a little bit.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

[07:32AM] Anaxa 🥺: Running a bit late today

Phainon reads the message again as he slumps down on his side of their bench, his chest still heaving from the intense run Snowy had just put them through. The weather has been changing for the colder with autumn beginning to take its leave. The other side of their bench is unoccupied, the wood cool to the touch, and Snowy keeps glancing at it and the entrance to the park.

Snowy is even more excited to be out in the cold and Phainon enjoys it just as much. There are still a handful of children playing at the playground, most of them dressed in much warmer clothes than usual. Phainon is still dressed in his running attire of a tshirt and shorts. When the wind blows, he basks in the cool weather like his dog. His eyes flutter shut as the gentle breeze caresses his face.

Snowy barks a few times, pleased with the breeze. Near his feet, he can feel Snowy turning around a few times before he eventually settles down comfortably to enjoy the wind.

The sound of children giggling and screaming while they chase each other is familiar and grounding as Phainon takes in slow, cool breaths to calm his rapid heart down.

For the first time, he’s nervous.

Well, it’s not really the first time he’s nervous. But it’s his first time waiting for Anaxa instead of the other way around. It’s been a couple of weeks since Stelle had shamelessly given his number away and Phainon nearly nagged her ear off for doing something like that to him.

Phainon lucked out when Anaxa took it in good stride, but still… If it had gone sideways, Phainon might just be miserable. How is he supposed to be held accountable when Snowy no longer has something to look forward to in the morning?

The sound of boots approaching and crunching on dried leaves makes Phainon open his eyes. His vision is bleary for a while before it eventually focuses on the gorgeous sight of Anaxa standing before him with a wry smile on his lips, dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and a jacket.

“Good morning, Phainon.”

Snowy jumps to his feet, surprised by Anaxa’s sudden appearance and barks many times to get his attention. Anaxa laughs as he leans forward to give Snowy his rubs. “Hello, Snowy.”

Snowy rumbles with happiness as he furiously rubs his head against Anaxa’s hands. His tail wags nonstop behind him and Phainon understands him. It’s a little bit hard for Anaxa to sit down with Snowy constantly nosing his way into his space, but eventually Anaxa manages to settle when Phainon tugs on Snowy’s leash.

It doesn’t deter Snowy’s mood at all.

“Sorry I’m late. Some stuff happened at home.”

Snowy’s tail is thumping excitedly against the floor, his snout lifted a little bit, quietly waiting and demanding something. Anaxa huffs a small laugh and digs into his coat pocket; the sound of rustling and foil crinkling makes Snowy perk up.

His white, fluffy ears shoot right up as his tongue wags. He’s a patient boy as Anaxa pulls out the small packet of treats from his pocket. Anaxa is about to feed him a treat when Phainon says, “You should make him work for it. He’s going to get complacent if you just keep feeding him like this.”

“Oh?”

“You’ll spoil him with so many treats and he’ll have to run even more to burn it off.” Phainon says, as if that’ll change Anaxa’s mind. In the last few weeks, Phainon and Anaxa have met up on the same bench everyday with Snowy looking a little bit more tubby around the belly despite their consistent runs.

Phainon doesn’t really mind; Snowy can afford to put on some weight. He just likes to tease Anaxa as much as he can. He likes seeing Anaxa’s expressions. It’s always small, almost microscopic, but it shifts his expression entirely, showing off a completely different side to Anaxa.

“Hmm, but Snowy is a good boy. He deserves a treat.”

Anaxa tosses a treat up in the air. As it comes down, Snowy stretches upwards with his mouth wide open to grab the treat. He chomps down happily and licks his mouth before he barks a few times.

“Your dad says no,” Anaxa says dramatically as he seals the treat bag up. “Says you’ll have to run more.”

Snowy whines, his tail dropping onto the floor when Anaxa begins to put his treat bag away. Phainon’s heart does a little pang at how sad his puppy looks and sighs.

“Alright, alright! One more, Snowy. But we’re taking the long way home later!”

Snowy perks up again, his pants louder than usual like he just has to have that special treat from Anaxa. Testing the waters, Anaxa holds out a treat in one hand while he holds out the other and says, “paw?”

Snowy paws eagerly into Anaxa’s waiting hand. In return, he receives a soft chuckle and Anaxa tosses the treat into his awaiting mouth.

Once Snowy is finally happy, he curls up around Anaxa’s feet and starts to doze off. Phainon snorts at the sight. “Greedy.”

Snowy’s tail swishes once, fully aware that Phainon has made a remark about him before it lays flat down. Turning his attention to Anaxa, Phainon finally asks, “Is everything okay at home? Did you break something?”

Anaxa pockets his treats to fold his arms over his chest, his book dangling in one hand. He sighs quietly and suddenly Anaxa looks much older than Phainon takes him to be. Truth to be told, Phainon still doesn’t know how old Anaxa is, but he looks much more tired and wary, like he owns an exhaustion that’s years old.

“My daughter overslept this morning and threw a huge tantrum about not wanting to go to class…” Anaxa’s words trail off the moment Phainon hears the two words ‘my’ and ‘daughter’. A disappointment opens up in his chest and swallows him up like a black hole and his ears won’t stop ringing.

Anaxa has a child. A daughter.

His throat tightens up and he feels his heart sink. Over the span of the last few weeks, he has come to realise how much he has enjoyed Anaxa’s companionship. Snowy also likes Anaxa so much, his dog has started to progress to waiting by the door when it’s time for a run.

Does this mean Anaxa has a partner?

Phainon feels sick to the stomach. Does this mean he has a crush on a married man?

His gaze flickers over to Anaxa’s hands where a bunch of rings sit, but none of them scream ‘wedding ring’ to him. What does this all mean?

And why is Phainon feeling the way he is? A small, sour mood in his chest worsens further. Someone as pretty as Anaxa definitely has to have a spouse! His daughter must be as gorgeous as he is too.

Ah, Phainon laments the tragedy that has unfolded this morning and sighs.

“O-oh, you have a daughter…!” Phainon winces at his pitched voice and clears his throat. Anaxa looks at him with a raised brow, confusion in his eye.

“Yes… I do?”

Snowy makes a small whine as he picks up on Phainon’s distress and struts over to rub his face against his owner’s hands. Frantically, Phainon tries to piece something together as the awkwardness begins to settle in. “Ah… Your partner must be helping out a lot for you to be able to come out to catch a breath!”

Something flickers in Anaxa’s eyes too quickly for Phainon to pick up on but it seems to stir something inside of the older man. “No partner, just me and my little girl.”

“Oh…” Phainon exhales. Suddenly his chest feels much lighter and his head feels giddier. It feels like whiplash to find out that Anaxa has no partner, and it’s just him and his girl. “Oh…”

Snowy grumbles, forcing his face into Phainon’s hands more. “Oh!”

Amusement dances bright in Anaxa’s eye as he leans back on the bench. When it finally dawns on Phainon how he’s acting in front of Anaxa, his cheeks flush fever hot. He is so embarrassed, he wants to dig a hole up to bury himself ten feet under.

What is he doing?!

“…So you’re single!”

He receives a few slow blinks as a response before Anaxa huffs a small noise. A slow incline of his head to the side has green hair dramatically falling over his shoulder as Anaxa looks at him with a steady gaze. Silence falls over them as the crowd at the playground begins to thin out. Anaxa lowers his gaze and his hands curl lightly into fists.

Phainon can’t help but feel like he’s said something wrong again and he wants to kick his feet.

“I’m sorry for making such an assumption—“ Phainon begins, his words tumbling out even more.

But instead, Anaxa shakes his head and smiles faintly. “Sage is my main priority.”

Of course.

It feels like someone has run a blade right into Phainon’s chest, quick and precise. He swallows the thick lump in his throat, nodding weakly. “Of course! Family is important. Isn’t that right, Snowy?”

His hands curl into Snowy’s fur to hide the trembling. Snowy barks brightly in response, as if understanding Phainon’s words. He noses his way in between Phainon’s legs and props his chin on his thigh, looking adorably dopey.

“Mm,” Anaxa agrees quietly, reaching over to scratch the top of Snowy’s head. The silly puppy rumbles happily as his eyes fall shut. “Sage will like Snowy, I think.”

Snowy.

Not Phainon.

Phainon doesn’t know how many more failures he can take today. He just wants to go home to shrivel up and die. But the gentle look Anaxa wears makes it a little bit more bearable. His chest aches terribly knowing that Anaxa must have been married or at least in a very serious relationship once to have a daughter, and is not interested in dating.

It’s alright! Phainon is a determined young man.

He’s still at the tender age of his early twenties. He has all the time in the world to try and impress Anaxa! Knowing that he has a daughter, maybe she might be his ticket into winning him over. If they ever get to meet, of course.

Phainon is a good boy! He knows how to behave and not overstep boundaries.

That’s right, he’s fine! He’ll be fine. He just needs to go home and come up with a new plan that may or may not involve Snowy this time.

Absolutely no worries, at all!

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

Phainon thinks he might die.

Either he’s been blessed by a specific god in the heavens or personally named by Hades himself. He’s not too sure yet. Their morning meetings have turned into a routine a week ago. It’s a good change that Phainon welcomes, because Snowy has someone new to hang out with that isn’t their elderly neighbour who feeds him too many treats.

But it’s becoming too much on Phainon’s poor, tender heart.

Their interest in the era of the Imperator has, unfortunately, brought up a few debates between the two of them, arguing the rights and wrongs of the Imperator and determining whether her efforts were worthwhile or not. Phainon has come to enjoy the twinkle that shines in Anaxa’s eye when he gets really into the debate. It makes the man look even younger, and seeing him so passionate ignites something inside of Phainon.

He doesn’t know what exactly it is, but he hopes that their discussions never come to an end.

Rubbing his temple, Phainon looks down on his current dilemma.

Anaxa’s well annotated book is left on the bench as the older man had to hurry somewhere, citing a family emergency and not being able to explain much. It’s the first time Phainon has seen such a frantic look cross Anaxa’s face and he wonders if he should offer some help.

But he’s not too sure exactly what to do, either. He’s not family, nor does he know what the emergency is. Anaxa had left with a flurry of apologies, promising to make it up to Phainon for the debate they were in the midst of, giving Snowy a firm neck rub before leaving hastily.

Phainon sighs, picking up Anaxa’s book to observe it. There are a lot of annotation tabs on Anaxa’s book, sticking out in the oddest places and Phainon can’t help but flip the book open to sneak at peek.

He knows it’s rude and he shouldn’t be doing such a thing. But curiosity gets the better of him, of wanting to get to know Anaxa a little bit more than he already does. Book annotations says a lot about people, and Phainon just wants to know more.

Snowy whines as Phainon relaxes into his seat on the bench, rubbing his nose against Phainon’s knee. A hand goes down to scratch Snowy’s head as he says, “I know, buddy. I’m sad he cut short our session too. But it can’t be helped.”

The weight on his knee grows and Phainon laughs sadly at his puppy. “Oh, you greedy little pup. You like him, don’t you?”

With an excitement that Phainon has seen in Snowy when he sees another puppy along the streets, Snowy straightens up, the weight disappearing off his knee as he barks many times. It’s loud, short, but very bright, and Phainon cannot believe his dog is like this.

“Greedy.” Phainon scolds. But he understands. Anaxa is very different from the other people Phainon has met, and he likes their morning sessions far too much. It’s such a nice way to start the day after his run, and Phainon really cannot remember what his morning used to be like without Anaxa.

As Snowy curls around Phainon’s legs and plants his heavy head down on his feet, Phainon leans down to give him a few head rubs before he returns his attention to the annotated book.

”Just a little peek,” Phainon says out loud to no one in particular, as if it’ll lift the guilt of invading another person’s privacy. He flips through the annotated pages, noticing some little notes of Anaxa’s thoughts about the Imperator’s different conquests. Most of his thoughts are written down elegantly in just a few words. The pages are highlighted in different colours that Phainon cannot seem to figure out which colour represents what.

As he continues looking, Phainon soon notices his name appearing on some pages.

Phainon argued that the Imperator’s siege was unnecessarily cruel and did not ease the people’s suffering.

Imperator’s tyranny in eops was a turning point for their nation. Terrible, but necessary. Phainon disagrees.

Humanity can learn to survive, but leaders are necessary. Phainon agrees for once.

Phainon’s explanation is confusing — to look into.

The more he flips, the more frequently his name shows up on the book and Phainon feels his heart stutter helplessly. He quickly snaps the book shut, his cheeks flaming hot as it finally sinks in that Anaxa has been paying attention to everything that he says. He even notes down the little sections to do more research on when he’s able to, and even sticks a small sticky note down that says ‘Correct Phainon the next time we discuss’.

What Phainon has imagined to be a casual session of debate has actually been a very serious matter for Anaxa. Suddenly, Phainon thinks he should have taken it more seriously. Pressing the book close to his chest, Phainon makes a mental note to be more mature about the whole debate. It’s not to say that he hasn’t, but he can do much better.

His face burns incredibly hot, like he’s been lying under the sun for hours to no end, absorbing enough sun for his best friend to be able to cook an egg on his skin. He didn’t think he’d leave such an impression on Anaxa for him to be mentioned so many times in his book!

Pulling out his phone, Phainon makes a decision.

[08:22AM] Phainon: Anaxa!! You left your book behind. I can keep it safe for you today and return it to you tomorrow.

Then, he waits with his heart in his throat. He probably should head back first. He doesn’t even know what emergency Anaxa is attending to, and might even take a while to get back to Phainon. So he weighs the pros and cons for a bit while spinning his phone in his hands.

The likelihood of Anaxa coming back is incredibly low, so Phainon shouldn’t stay there any longer. Besides, he has to prepare for his day too. His shift starts at four and he has plans before work starts. What plans?

Phainon isn’t sure yet. But it’s better than sitting at the park aimlessly while not getting a reply. Once his decision is made, Phainon nods.

“Okay, Snowy. Let’s head home!”

Snowy perks up at the mention of home, eager to walk down the path they’ve used everyday. Phainon is about to slip his phone back into his pocket and follow Snowy out of the park when it vibrates. His heart jumps to his throat as he quickly scrambles to check his notifications. They’ve been texting back and forth multiple times a day for the past few weeks but every time Anaxa’s name pops up on his screen, Phainon still feels like he's sixteen again.

[08:29AM] Anaxa 🥺: No wonder I felt like something was missing

[08:29AM] Anaxa 🥺: Can I trouble you to swing by my place? I’m not sure if I can see you tomorrow

Phainon’s heart drops in disappointment. Not being able to see Anaxa tomorrow feels like his world might just collapse. Of course, there are no obligations in their friendship, but when they’ve become a routine, Phainon thinks he should be allowed to feel a wee bit of disappointment in not being able to see his friend tomorrow.

[08:30AM] Anaxa 🥺: Sage is not feeling her best, so I want to monitor her for a bit.

Oh, now Phainon feels bad and worried.

[08:30AM] Phainon: OH NO. is she ok?? I can definitely swing by to drop your book!! Hope she feels better soon :c

When Snowy notices his owner isn’t moving, he returns to Phainon, circling around his feet a couple of times. He nips at his pants, tugging on them in an attempt to get Phainon to move but his owner doesn’t seem to be very present at the moment, his focus entirely on his phone.

[08:32AM] Anaxa 🥺: Come over and I’ll tell you more?

His palms start to get sweaty and his brain shuts down for a brief second. The way Anaxa casually invites him over feels so personal and intimate, but Phainon should know better than to think of it that way. Anaxa must be really busy so he can’t even handle it through text.

Besides, Phainon is only going to go over to hand him his book and make sure everything is okay and he’ll just leave. Yeah, that’s fine!

[08:32AM] Phainon: Now??

[08:35AM] Anaxa 🥺: Yes, if that’s okay with you.

[08:37AM] Phainon: Send me your address, Snowy and I will be over!!

[08:37AM] Phainon: Um, if that’s ok!

[08:37AM] Phainon: For me to bring Snowy, I mean!

[08:40AM] Anaxa 🥺: Completely fine.

Anaxa sends his address over, and when Phainon keys it into his maps, he realises it’s not too far from the park at all. In fact, it’s a fifteen minute walking distance.

“Snowy,” Phainon calls out, his grip on Snowy’s leash tightening. “Snowy, we have a delivery to make!”

His poor puppy looks confused when Phainon isn’t taking the usual path back home, but follows him nonetheless, curious to see where they’ll end up.

Excitement and nervousness follows Phainon and Snowy as they follow the route on Phainon’s phone. The man keeps his attention evenly split between his phone and his path, his eyes growing wider and wider as the scenery quickly changes despite how close they are to the park.

The view changes from the park and nearby shophouses and coffee shops into apartment blocks and small private units, before it breaks out into private properties.

Anaxa’s home is not hard to find; it’s right at the end of the street, tucked away behind a few trees and accompanied by a privacy not all units have the luxury of. It’s a quaint, two story house with a big lawn and a car parked out front.

He checks and double checks to make sure he’s on the right street, and at the right house before he takes a deep breath. Next to him, Snowy is peering around curiously, his pants louder than Phainon’s pounding heart.

Across the lawn, there’s a small play area and some poorly cared for potted plants, but what captures Phainon’s attention is how well maintained the whole place is. Despite the wilting plants, the grass is well-trimmed and the walkway up to the front door is pristine.

Taking in a slow breath, Phainon gears himself up to go and knock on the door. As if picking up on Anaxa’s scent, Snowy scampers over to the front door first, his barking loud enough to announce to the vicinity that he has arrived.

“Snowy,” Phainon hisses, his finally slowing-down heart picking up pace again. “You don’t have to announce your arrival!”

Snowy barks even louder, his tail swaying back and forth eagerly. He receives a sigh in return as Phainon resigns to his fate. Rasping two loud knocks against the front door of Anaxa’s house, Phainon can only wait with his heart stuck in his throat. His hands are clammy and he hopes he doesn’t damage the book in his hands. Behind the closed door, Phainon can hear the wailing of a child and he winces.

He exchanges a look with his puppy, who has settled his bottom nicely on Anaxa’s front porch and sweeping the ground with his tail, uneasiness settling in Phainon’s belly.

“…please.” Phainon catches the tail end of Anaxa’s words as his voice becomes louder.

A loud click of a door unlocking has Phainon’s back completely drenched in sweat. His heart is pumping so loud, it can compete with the passing vehicles down the street. When the door pulls open, Phainon’s eyes nearly pop out of its place.

Anaxa is cradling — and failing to cradle— a child that’s far too big to fit in his arms, his hair disheveled and his clothes having food stains on them. His eyepatch is off and Phainon’s breath stops. Anaxa’s eyes are filled with a desperation that Phainon has never seen before and his heart lurches. He looks so gorgeous, Phainon thinks he’s forgotten his own name.

Soft baby blue eyes take one look at Phainon and the child wails hard enough for the whole street to hear.

“Wow,” Phainon exhales in admiration. “That’s a lot of lung capacity for a little girl.”

It’s the wrong thing for him to say because the child huffs wetly before bursting into tears again. Anaxa snorts, stroking her back slowly. Snot trickles down her nose and she soon buries her face into Anaxa’s shoulder, much to her father’s dismay. “Sage, don’t be rude. Say hi to Phainon.”

She stiffens at his name and shifts so that she can plant her chubby cheek onto her father’s shoulder and glares at Phainon with as much disdain a little child can muster. Phainon freezes in his place, not sure what he’s done to deserve that.

Chuckling nervously, Phainon gives her a small wave and says, “hi, Sage!”

Snowy barks in greeting, and Sage’s attention is wholly stolen away by his puppy instead. She looks down at Snowy and gives him a wave, much to Phainon’s chagrin. Her mood brightens up instantly and she stops crying. Still, her small body is wracked with hiccups, so Anaxa has to keep rubbing soothingly down her back. She looks just like Anaxa with her mint-green hair and phoenix-shaped eyes, and Phainon assumes her eye colour and curve of her mouth takes after her father. The area under her eyes and across her chubby cheeks are splotched red from her tears and the snot is smeared messily across her face.

Wow, Phainon thinks. Kids sure are something.

“Sage, say hi.”

She unwillingly pulls her gaze away from Snowy and scrunches up her face, albeit adorably, and mutters a soft ‘hi’. Anaxa is bewildered by her reaction and almost wants to say something, but Sage throws herself back in Anaxa’s arms and exhales loudly, sleepily.

Anaxa shakes his head at his daughter’s antics before his gaze flickers down to the book that’s wedged between Phainon’s hand and Snowy’s leash. “The school said she wasn’t feeling well so I had to take her home. I’m sorry you had to go through all the trouble of coming down.”

Phainon shakes his head, his hair falling messily over his face. Quickly, he brushes his free hand through his hair in an attempt to smooth it out. “No worries at all! Your place is quite easy to find, actually.”

He holds Anaxa’s book out, the annotated side facing himself as he continues, “I thought it’d be better for me to hold it safely but it seems like you’re just as eager to get your book back.”

Hefting Sage into one thin arm, Anaxa takes the book out of Phainon’s hands. His gaze sweeps across the tabs that are poking out of the pages and seems relieved when none of them look touched. “Thank you.”

A grin spreads across Phainon’s face as he hums happily. “You’re welcome! It was a really nice walk over to your place, so don’t worry about troubling us at all.”

Anaxa’s gaze flickers between Snowy, Phainon, and the inside of his house, and he sighs. “I wish I could invite the two of you in for some tea, but Sage has spread her germs everywhere and inside is a mess…”

Phainon quickly shakes his head and both his hands come up. “No, no, please, we don’t want to get in the way! Snowy and I have to head back to prepare for the day as well.”

A look of regret flickered in Anaxa’s eyes before he sighs. “When she’s better, we’ll have you both as guests.”

Phainon looks down at his puppy who is still happily sitting on the front porch, his head lolled to the side as he pretends to understand his owner’s conversation. “Are you sure about Snowy? He sheds a lot.”

Anaxa looks like he wants to lean down and give Snowy some rubs, but Sage is stopping him from doing so. Instead, Snowy leaps upwards, mindful of knocking Anaxa backwards. Still, Anaxa is much thinner than Phainon expects and he stumbles backward by a step and Phainon has to pull on Snowy’s leash.

“Snowy!”

Sage’s eyes go wide as her father’s hold on her tightens and Anaxa quickly finds his footing again. “No worries. Puppies are always overeager.”

Phainon’s ears go hot as he can only think about the many ways he’s going to scold Snowy once they’re home. “I’m really sorry, Anaxa!”

”Don’t worry about it. Will you be fine finding your way home?”

”Mhm! I checked the maps, it’s about a thirty minute walk. It’ll be fine.”

Anaxa glances up at the dark skies and sighs. “It might rain, are you sure?”

Phainon snorts and Snowy yips excitedly. “Snowy loves the rain. He’ll do anything to be out in the rain. Don’t worry about us!”

Anaxa’s teeth sink into his lower lip as he thinks about it. Sage wiggles about in his arms as she tries to take a few more peeks at Snowy, who has obediently settled back down on the floor again. Eventually, he exhales slowly and says, “alright. Text me when you get home.”

Phainon grins as his heart picks up a beat faster. “Of course!”

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

As the season takes a turn for the colder, Sage’s health also comes and goes, which gets frustrating for both her and Anaxa. She had recovered rather quickly from her last cold, but she quickly contracted another one a couple weeks later.

In between each sickness, Phainon brings Snowy to Anaxa’s place so Sage can get some companionship. Over tea, Anaxa had remarked that he hadn’t seen his girl this happy in a long time. She still doesn’t open up to Phainon at all. Even in the pink of health, she chooses to stay close to her father, glaring at him from behind his calf. Phainon doesn’t quite understand why Sage is so hostile to him. Every other kid he’s met loves him. If they didn’t at first, they all warm up relatively fast.

Sage is one of the toughest nuts to crack.

Still, it doesn’t deter Phainon one bit. He wants to get to know Anaxa more and hopefully, one day, be able to properly woo him. Stelle had teased him a little when they both found out Anaxa was in his early thirties with a kid.

“That’s a milf. Or a dilf. Phainon, you really know how to pick them.”

It hadn’t occurred to Phainon one bit about Anaxa in that way, and now he couldn’t stop seeing Anaxa that way. It awakened something inside of Phainon, a strange feeling that he’s never felt before. It leaves Phainon’s cheeks hot and his body heavy when he thinks about Anaxa.

Truth to be told, Phainon is a little bit ashamed he’s feeling like this but he can’t help it. He doesn’t know how to stop it.

Today is a rare day of morning sun after multiple gloomy days of rain, and Anaxa had made the decision to take Sage out to join him on his me-time. Phainon hasn’t been able to see Anaxa at the park as often anymore, but to make up for it, Anaxa does invite Phainon over for breakfast, to which Phainon nearly rejects because it’s too much effort, Anaxa! I can’t trouble you like this while Sage is still sick.

When Phainon finds them at the park, they’re not at the usual bench but under a nice, thick oat tree that shades most of them from the sun. A picnic mat is sprawled out across the grass with a filled basket settled next to Anaxa. He’s dressed in a thicker cardigan today, and Sage is rolling across the picnic mat as she waits for Anaxa to unpack the basket. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail and she’s wearing a matching jacket with her father. She looks much better than the last time Phainon had seen her. Her cheeks are rosy red and her blue eyes are bright and excited.

Phainon pauses for a while, just enjoying the sight before him. He knows that once his presence is made known, Sage’s mood will shift into something more grumpy and she’ll try to make his life difficult. He really doesn’t understand what’s wrong. No matter what he does, she only has eyes for Snowy.

His fingers clench around Snowy’s leash as Sage eventually rolls over to stop by Anaxa’s side, her hands cradling her face as she looks up at her father. Anaxa sighs in exasperation and ruffles her hair, his smile warm and fond.

Phainon’s heart feels a sharp pinch as he takes in the sight. He suddenly misses home, his mother and his father, the breakfasts they shared at the table, and the harvest days when Phainon sweats under the sun with his father.

Clenching his hands tighter together, Phainon fights the trembling in his hands and takes in a deep breath. Sage is saying something that makes Anaxa’s smile widen and he says something in response to her. She giggles and presses her cheek against Anaxa’s knee in response, and Anaxa can only pat her lightly on her head.

Her attitude is such a contrast to how she acts in front of Phainon, and he can already feel the first blow of defeat make contact with his chest.

Snowy, who doesn’t understand why Phainon has stopped, barks a few times at his owner to get his attention, and ends up getting the attention of everyone else too. Phainon gets first row seats to the way Sage’s expression changes; it went from something sweet and bubbly to something more guarded, more protective, more unwelcoming.

But Anaxa, oh.

Anaxa’s expression shifts from something parentally tender to something warmer, more welcoming. “Phainon, you’re here.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Phainon leads Snowy up to the father and daughter duo, and smiles. “Good morning Anaxa, Sage.”

Sage gives him a small wave and quickly stumbles over to Snowy’s side, who is just as eager to meet Sage, but Phainon tugs back on his leash. “Snowy, paws off the mat.”

Snowy glances down to see his paws on the edge for the picnic mat. He lets out one short bark to tell Phainon that he understands. Sage meets Snowy there and she immediately buries herself into his fur. Phainon lets go of his leash so that Snowy will have more space to play around before he turns his attention back to Anaxa.

“Doctor said Sage should come out and bask in the sun for a bit, that perhaps vitamin D is something that she needs to build up her immunity again.” Anaxa begins to explain, but Phainon shakes his head. A cheeky pun about vitamin D for Anaxa forms on Phainon’s tongue but he holds himself back with a faint smile.

“You’re her father. You don’t have to explain everything to me. I’m just a friend you have hot debates with!” Phainon grins, but he can feel the smile not reach his eyes. He scolds himself inwardly. He’s not supposed to guilt trip Anaxa or try anything funny. Sage is Anaxa’s daughter and his main priority, Phainon is really just a friend.

This was established very early into their friendship, so Phainon can’t use it against Anaxa. He shouldn’t dare to use it against him either. But… Every single time Anaxa looks at him with that gaze, Phainon feels his own resolve begin to crumble.

“I prepared enough food for all of us,” Anaxa says, patting the spot next to him on the picnic mat. “Join us.”

Phainon’s gaze flickers between Sage and Snowy, then he returns his gaze to Anaxa. “Are you sure…?”

“I insist,” Anaxa reiterates, his fingers sprawling across the open seat. “Please.”

Warmth creeps up Phainon’s cheeks as he toes off his shoes and takes up the space next to Anaxa. “Sorry if I’m a bit stinky… Snowy wanted to run longer today.”

Phainon then balks. “Oh titans, you’ve been hanging out with me for months now after my run. I’ve been stink—“

“Phainon.”

Anaxa says his name firmly, calmly. It soothes the storm inside of Phainon and he stops rambling. “I wouldn’t be here if I minded.”

Warmth creeps up Phainon’s cheeks as he ducks his head down shyly. His chest grows too tight and stuffed that he nearly forgets to breathe. Anaxa always makes it so easy, so simple. There’ve been so many people who have told Phainon that he’s too much, too loud, too much energy.

But Anaxa simply meets him wherever he is.

Awkwardly, he folds himself smaller, as if the tree can swallow him up any time. “Sage looks better.”

Anaxa hums as he takes out a box filled with bite-size sandwiches. “She is. Lots of sleep and soup has helped her bounce back faster. The weather really isn’t helping her very much. But the doctor says it’s normal. Once she grows a bit older, her immune system will get stronger.”

“That’s good. You’ve been so worried about her, you've lost weight.”

It’s true. Anaxa’s cheeks are not as full as before and his cardigan looks looser around his shoulders. He looks like he can use a full day of undisturbed rest, but his toddler is more important than himself. Phainon understands; he’s seen it in his cousins back home who have children of their own. They’re their parents’ whole lives and there’s nothing more important than that.

In return, the children look at them like they’re their whole worlds too. It’s such a precious, sacred bond that Phainon doesn’t think he’ll understand until he’s a father himself, but he respects that.

More food lays itself out on the picnic mat and there’s even a small bowl for Snowy, filled with his favourites from a passing remark Phainon once made. The million butterflies in Phainon’s chest have nowhere to go as Anaxa says, “I remember you said Snowy prefers lamb, so I made a little something for him. I hope that’s okay.”

Phainon can only nod wordlessly, completely at a loss of what to do. The food for Snowy looks so good, he can’t help but feel jealous. How is his dog getting better attention than he is?!

As he is about to sulk, though, Anaxa pulls out one last box from his cooler bag and pops it open. “I don’t know how much you’re able to eat immediately after a run so I didn’t make too much…”

The smell of shredded roast chicken with fresh herbs, cherry tomatoes, sliced lettuce and fig glaze makes Phainon’s stomach growl. It’s not a huge portion, which is perfect for him. “This is… for me?”

“Mm.” Anaxa acknowledges, calling out for his daughter. Sage is busy burying her face into Snowy’s belly to respond to her father but Snowy hears his call. Snowy’s entire body rumbles as he tries to get Sage’s attention, but the little girl is too happy to be buried in fluff.

Phainon laughs at the sight, his heart aching a little seeing Sage is so close to his own puppy.

“Sage, come and eat something before you play with Snowy again.” Anaxa’s voice is more stern this time and Sage immediately compiles. She returns to her father’s side with a pout as Anaxa pulls out wipes to clean her hands. “You have to listen to me, otherwise I’ll ask Phainon to stop bringing Snowy around.”

The child looks shocked and tears well up in her eyes at the thought of losing the puppy she’s been hanging out with. “Then Phainon won’t come either!”

Phainon’s heart sinks as Anaxa’s jaw goes slack. His good eye flashes dangerously as he says, “Sage, we talked about this behaviour.”

“You can’t take Snowy away…” Sage says quietly, her voice small and whiny. “I like Snowy!”

“Snowy likes good girls, Sage.” Phainon says in a volume that matches Sage’s voice despite the awful pang in his chest. “If you listen to your dad, Snowy will keep coming to see you.”

Sage narrows her eyes at him in thought, then sniffles. She plops down, her gaze never once leaving Phainon. “Sage, you have to say sorry to Phainon. You can’t keep saying things that are hurtful to others. How would you feel if I said something so mean to you?”

Anaxa’s words are stern but his hand rubbing down her back says otherwise. It’s reassuring but also necessary in letting his daughter know that such behaviour isn’t tolerated, but also knowing that he’s simply trying to guide her to be better. Though, Phainon isn’t sure if she understands at such a young age.

Her lower lip trembles as her hands curl into fists on her lap. “S- Sorry…”

Phainon leans closer to Sage, a small smile on his lips despite his own mood as he says, “it’s alright. You have to be more mindful of others, that’s all.”

Sage huffs but refuses to turn away. Instead, she focuses on the fruits her father has packed and digs into it instead.

Anaxa offers a small, apologetic smile and hands him a fork for his food. Phainon graciously takes the fork and makes sure Snowy is comfortable before handing him his own food. The loud howl Snowy releases startles all three of them, and then Phainon laughs. He ruffles Snowy’s fur and presses his forehead against Snowy’s for a moment, grateful for his puppy’s company. Phainon doesn’t think he’ll be able to survive having a picnic with Anaxa and his daughter all alone.

Snowy seems to share the same sentiment as he licks Phainon’s face a few times with a rumble loud enough for everyone to hear.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

It’s two in the afternoon when Phainon’s phone rings. It is also one of his days off that he finally is able to take naps at an unholy hour and not feel guilty about it.

But it seems like the world has other plans for him.

He stretches out his arm blindly to find his phone as his vision takes a while to clear. He swipes the answer button without checking the caller ID. His voice is still thick with sleep as he says groggily, "Hello?"

“...Phainon,” Anaxa’s voice is tight as he exhales Phainon’s name. “I’m sorry, is this a bad time?”

Phainon shoots up in his bed. Snowy, who is also napping by the corner of his bed, jumps up at his movements and pad over to nudge his snout into Phainon’s side. Phainon quickly clears his throat, his eyes wide as he answers, “Anaxa! No, not at all. Is everything alright? You never call.”

“...Phainon, I didn’t mean to disturb… Are you available today?”

“Yeah!” He replies without hesitation. In hindsight, he really should have asked what’s up first but Anaxa’s voice is strained and exhausted, and if Phainon really had something going on, he would have dropped it for Anaxa anyway.

“Sage is down with a stomach bug and I have an important meeting I can’t postpone… I tried calling all her regular sitters but there’s no one available. I didn’t want to trouble you after all that Sage has put you through but–”

“Anaxa,” Phainon says firmly, rubbing a hand across his face as he throws his blanket away to slide off his bed. “What time is your meeting?”

“...In an hour and a half.”

The sky is about as bright as it can be and the roads look clear. If Phainon cuts through the park and down the alleys, he can definitely shorten his trip. “I can be there in thirty minutes.”

“But–”

“Anaxa, you called. Let me help.”

Anaxa is quiet on the other end of the line but he can hear the sound of running water in the background. Then, he inhales softly, asking, “Are you sure?”

Readily, Phainon answers, “For you, always.”

He hears Anaxa take in a shocked breath and the line falls quiet again. This time, there’s the sound of feet shuffling and a door closing with a soft click. “Please, Phainon.”

The way Anaxa says it is too fragile. It’s laced with an exhaustion that Phainon knows clings to Anaxa like a second skin, and his heart aches. “I’ll be there soon.”

“See you soon.”

Phainon is the first to hang up because he has to rush to the bathroom to take a quick shower and pull on something warm for his ride to Anaxa’s place. It’s been getting colder and, no matter how much Phainon enjoys the cold, it will bite his face when he cycles fast down the streets. Snowy follows him around in confusion, his head tilted and tail wagging, as if not understanding why his owner is suddenly frantically moving. On Phainon’s days off, he usually likes to laze in bed until he has to get up. Snowy likes to join him in the lazy days, his own sleepiness replacing his usual eagerness of heading out.

He makes sure Snowy’s bowls are filled with food and water before he leans down to kiss Snowy on the snout. “Sorry buddy, I’ll be back before you know it!”

Snowy makes a sound of confusion as he presses back against Phainon’s hands, wondering why he’s abandoned.

“I’ve just got to go see Anaxa for a while.”

At the mention of Anaxa, Snowy perks up, his tongue lolling out as his tail starts wagging brightly behind him. Phainon’s heart breaks at the thought of telling his puppy he’s not coming along. “Buddy, Sage is sick so I can’t bring you along this time round.”

He receives a sad whine in response. Snowy’s tail flops downwards and his ears flatten against his skull, and Snowy uses those sad, big round eyes on him. He looks devastatingly adorable and he nearly trips over his own feet. Snowy rarely uses such an expression on him, and he’s almost tempted to bring his puppy along.

Almost.

Phainon doesn’t know how sick Sage is.

“...Snowy… You should be using these big eyes on Anaxa, not me!”

He gets a few barks in return, as if Snowy is saying, “then bring me along!”

“...I’ll be home soon, okay? Be good now.”

Snowy whines again, his tail sweeping sadly behind him. Phainon almost wants to snort. His puppy really knows he’s cute and isn’t afraid to use it against him.

He receives a few whines in return but Phainon solidifies his heart. He told Anaxa he’ll be there soon, and he doesn’t want to make the man wait any longer. Planting a kiss to Snowy’s head, Phainon promises he’ll be back with snacks.

That seems to finally placate his puppy and Snowy allows him to leave. The white samoyed sits by the door and watches as Phainon zips up his jacket before leaving the house. “Bye, Snowy!”

A few barks respond to him as the door shuts behind him. Once he’s fully geared, Phainon hurries down the steps to where he has his bicycle parked. The chilly air greets him once he hits the streets but Phainon can only think of Anaxa and Sage at home, waiting for him to come over.

At this time of the day, the streets around Phainon’s place are quiet. There are only a few people walking their dogs, some returning home from outside, and others just on a stroll. It’s too cold for some to be out, but there are always people like Phainon who enjoy the cold rather well.

He knows the way to Anaxa’s place by heart now, often finding himself with Snowy at Anaxa’s place when it’s too cold for Anaxa to be outside. The older man likes to run hot, and while he appreciates the cool weather, sometimes, it’s just too cold for his liking. So that’s how they end up at Anaxa’s place while Sage is at school.

Maybe, Phainon thinks. Maybe this time, he’ll be able to win Sage over. He just needs to take care of her and let her understand he means no harm to her. Till today, he really can’t figure out why the child is so cold and aloof to him, but so warm and adorable to his own puppy.

Phainon cuts it close in his safety while getting to Anaxa’s place, but he manages to make it in one piece. Just as he hops off his bicycle to rest against a wall next to Anaxa’s car, the front door opens.

As he dusts the rain droplets off his jacket, he meets Anaxa’s gaze and his breath catches. He has seen Anaxa in better days but Anaxa looking this vulnerable throws Phainon in a loop. Anaxa’s hair is pulled up messily into a bun and he dons an old, oversized t-shirt that looks like it, too, has seen better days. His eye patch is gone, replaced by a pair of glasses that's perched high on his nose. The knitted pants are slightly short on him, showing off those slender ankles, and his feet are wearing his usual pair of fluffy, green slippers.

“Phainon.” Anaxa says his name in a mix of relief and reverence, but quickly shivers when a breeze blows past. Phainon hastily rushes over to the front door and pushes Anaxa back into the house so that he can shut the door behind them. Once he peels off his jacket and takes off his shoes, he turns to Anaxa and takes a good look at him.

“You look like you can use a week of rest at this point.”

There are bags under Anaxa’s eyes and his hair needs a good brushing. His lips are chapped and Anaxa looks like he has once again lost weight.

Looking after a child really wasn’t easy.

Anaxa laughs, albeit a little tiredly, and gestures for Phainon to follow him into the living room. He unceremoniously flops down on the couch, a huge difference from how he usually carries himself, and squeezes his eyes shut. “Sage just fell asleep but she knows you’re coming. I’m really sorry I have to trouble you for this.”

“It’s really fine, Anaxa. I wanted to help.”

Tourmaline eyes meet Phainon’s baby blue ones and Anaxa sighs. “I shouldn’t be abusing our friendship like this.”

Friendship.

That word stabs through Phainon like a sharp dagger in his chest but he maintains his smile, though the corners tremble. “If you feel bad about it, you can always buy me dinner.”

When he realises what he has said, Phainon’s cheeks run hot and he is too embarrassed to look at the man on the couch. An awkward silence hangs over them immediately after, but Anaxa is thoughtful as he considers Phainon’s words. The younger man can only swallow the lump in his throat and clear his throat. “I’m just–”

“Let’s do a rain check on that,” Anaxa says softly.

Phainon wants to shrivel up on the ground like an earthworm and just die. Of course, Anaxa would be so graceful in turning him down.

“Yeah, um, of course!” If there’s one thing that Phainon is terribly bad at, is hiding his emotions well. He turns away so Anaxa can’t see the way his words hurt him. Disappointment pools in his belly and prickles at his eyes, but Phainon will not allow his emotions to get the better of him.

He’s here to help and that’s all he’s supposed to do. The house is in a mess with toys scattered everywhere and there is still freshly kept laundry that’s unfolded next to Anaxa. With a wry smile, Phainon says, “Don’t you have a meeting to prepare for? Go ahead. Let me help out with some of your chores.”

Anaxa stills on the couch, his eyes wide. “I can’t possibly trouble you like this, Phainon.”

“Please, that’s what friends are for, right? You’d help me out if Snowy got sick.”

Thin lips press together, ready to argue again, but Anaxa eventually relents with a sigh. “...Alright. Sage has been throwing up now and then. Can you help me keep an eye on her while I take a shower? Her room is the one on the left when you get up the stairs.”

“That’s the least I can do. Really, don’t worry and take as long as you need so that you can look presentable for your meeting.”

Anaxa shoots him a dark look, as if understanding what he means. Phainon puts up two hands in mock defeat and smiles weakly. The older man heads up the stairs to his bedroom and Phainon soon hears another door shut and the water begins to run.

With two hands on his hips, Phainon glances around the place and makes the decision to go check on Sage first. He carefully threads up the stairs, making sure each step is as quiet as it can be. His hand twists Sage’s bedroom door knob as quietly as he can, not sure how much noise it’ll make before he exhales softly when all goes smoothly.

Sage’s room would have been plunged into darkness if not for the little night lamp that’s still on by her bedside. It’s shaped like a dinosaur that Phainon hasn’t seen before in his life, casting a soft, warm glow across the room, blanketing the little sick patient in a soothing light.

There’s a bucket lined with a plastic bag sitting right next to her bed and a bottle of water on the night stand. A cloth is folded next to the bottle of water and there’s a little star-shaped diffuser dispensing a mix of eucalyptus and mint.

Sage makes a small noise of discomfort as she shifts in her sleep, but her eyes didn’t open. It looks like a really fitful, uncomfortable sleep, and Phainon doesn’t want to disturb her at all. He knows what it’s like to be sick as a child, and it’s the worst for both the kid and their parents.

Phainon closes the door behind him, leaving a small gap so that he can hear Sage if she wakes or needs something. He quickly but quietly heads back down the stairs and starts helping out as much as he can while Anaxa is in the shower.

He starts by folding the clean laundry on the couch, sorting them by garments, mildly blushing when he comes across Anaxa’s intimate items. But he doesn’t allow it to distract him! He files whatever he finds for later, when he remembers. He is a man on a mission and he has to help out as much as he can! He might as well, since Sage is still resting upstairs and there’s not much for him to do.

Once that’s done, he heads into the kitchen where dishes have piled up in the sink and the bin is nearly full from trash. A small part of Phainon wilters at the thought of Anaxa and Sage living like this. But it probably can’t be helped; it’s just Anaxa and Sage.

There are photos that line the walls of the house, but all of them are just of Anaxa and Sage. There’s not a single photo of Sage’s other parent, and Phainon can only imagine that the falling out must have been really bad, or the other father has just been absent since Sage was born. It’s not really Phainon’s place to speculate. He just can’t help his curious nature.

The water is cold when Phainon begins to rinse the dishes and he hisses under his breath from how cold it is. It bites at his fingers and Phainon nearly whines. He glances around and finds the dishwasher next to him and resolves to wash the dishes clean enough to load up the washer. He works fast as the chill begins to settle in his bones and he almost wants to cry.

But the thought of Anaxa being the one doing the dishes with such cold water makes his heart ache. Once the dishes are loaded on the rack, Phainon pries open the dish washer to find clean dishes still inside. As he empties out the dish washer, Phainon hears the water stop running upstairs. He freezes for a minute, and then hurriedly unloads the washer to put in the new dishes.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs coincide with Phainon shutting the dishwasher shut. His hands ache a little from the cold water but he quickly shoves it into the front of his hoodie. Anaxa comes into the kitchen with a look of confusion, and then his jaw drops at the sight of an empty sink. His hair is still damp from the shower, rivulets trickling down to his towel that’s still draped around his neck. Anaxa is already dressed similarly to what Phainon has seen before at the coffee shop; a black turtleneck sweater and slacks, and he looks so much more refreshed.

“Phainon… You…”

“Couldn’t help it, it’s a bit of a habit.” Phainon laughs, sniffling a little bit. “I checked on Sage when you went to shower, she seems to be resting okay.”

Anaxa looks around, helplessly, and then shakes his head. “You really didn’t have to go through all that trouble.”

“I know. I want to.”

That seems to shut Anaxa up and cause his cheeks to turn slightly rosy. Phainon watches with bated breath at how beautifully the blush spreads from Anaxa’s cheeks up to his ears. When he notices Anaxa isn’t going to say anything else, Phainon offers, “go take a rest, Anaxa. You still have a bit of time before your call.”

The corners of Anaxa’s lips twitch. “And watch you do more house chores?”

Phainon laughs sheepishly. “Do you want me to remodel Sage’s room while I’m at it?”

Anaxa steps closer and wraps his hand around Phainon’s arm, gently pulling it out from the hoodie. It’s much warmer now, but there are still mild tremors from how cold the water was. Phainon doesn’t dare to breathe as Anaxa’s fingers press into the redder spots before pressing his palm against the cooler areas. Anaxa’s hands are so small compared to his, and Phainon can’t help but wonder what it’ll be like locking fingers together. His heart is slamming itself against his ribcage as Anaxa soothes the discomfort. “Sage will shriek your ears off if you even consider moving her dinosaur lamp.”

In a tight voice, Phainon mumbles, “Oh…”

The smile he receives in return is small and fond, and it suddenly makes his aching hands worthwhile. “You’re our guest, Phainon. Let me make you some tea to warm up these hands of yours.”

“But your meeting…”

The small hands leave him and Phainon almost sulks while mourning the loss of Anaxa’s warm hands. Anaxa has already grabbed the kettle and is standing by the sink, filling it up with water. “There’s some time. Don’t worry.”

Phainon eventually relents and settles himself on one of the dining chairs in the kitchen so he can watch Anaxa. The older man moves with a grace in his movements, agile and fast. He’s in his own comfort zone and he knows where everything is at, so it doesn’t even take long for the kettle to boil hot water, and a cup of soothing tea is placed before Phainon.

Thick, calloused fingers wrap around the small tea cup and the heat is a saving grace to Phainon’s fingers. Its heat seeps into his hands and into his bones, soothing the ache that he’s been trying to pretend doesn’t bother him. When he takes a sip, the mild flavour is soothing on his tongue and warms his insides as well. The familiarity of mountain tea brings back memories for Phainon and he finds himself slightly dazed and homesick.

“Is… the tea not to your liking?” Anaxa wears a mild look of worry as he settles himself across from Phainon at the table. His own cup of tea is steaming hot and his slender fingers that were once pressing into Phainon’s palm are wrapped around it.

“No!” Phainon quickly exclaims. He lowers his voice when he realises how loud he is and ducks his head down in embarrassment. “It’s great. Just reminds me of home.”

“Home as in… Aedes Elysiae. You mentioned it a few times before.”

“Mhm!” Phainon eagerly nods as he peers into the cup of tea like it can tell his divination. “Mom makes tea during winter when our neighbours from the next town bring their harvest of tea leaves to sell. It’s mountain tea, too.”

“You don’t talk a lot about your family,” Anaxa points out, taking a sip out of his tea.

Phainon laughs, more cheerful than anything else. His heart sinks at the memory of being told he’s too much of an oversharer. “You don’t either.”

“I have an older sister back home. It was just the two of us before Sage came along. She visited a lot to spend time with Sage so I could catch my breath between juggling parenthood and my job. But Sage is my everything. She’s my daughter, and my most precious.”

Phainon smiles softly, lifting the cup to his lips. “You love her a lot.”

“She’s all that I have in Okhema. The education system here is considerably better for children her age.”

All that he has in Okhema.

Phainon sighs inwardly, his fingers tightening around the cup. “I’m the only son, no siblings, whatsoever. The only children I’ve cared for are my neighbors’ growing up. I’ve said it before, I think. Aedes Elysiae is a small village, so everyone has everyone’s back. My parents worked really hard to be able to afford to send me to Okhema to study. But that meant they couldn’t follow and I’ve been here since I was fifteen.”

“Fifteen… That’s six years ago?”

“Yup! I’ve gone home now and then to see them… But I really want to be able to move my parents to Okhema. They’ll be closer to me and they’ll get to experience everything I got to try out here.”

“I’d like to see Aedes Elysiae one day. The way you talk about it makes it sound like it’s a fantasy,” Anaxa says in a voice so soft, it barely sounds audible. His elbow is propped up on the table and his hand is cradling his face, while his gaze is fixed on Phainon. This close, Phainon can finally see why Anaxa wears an eye patch.

There’s faint scarring around his eye, and his eye colour looks more faded than his good eye. An accident, perhaps. Something that likely damaged his eye and he can’t use it at its fullest anymore. The blue in Anaxa’s eyes remind Phainon of the skies in Aedes Elysiae, with the thick, fluffy clouds in them, and when he tilts his head, the hints of red reminds him of the setting sun.

Homesick, Phainon concludes. He really is homesick.

“I’d love to bring you and Sage there one day,” Phainon blurts out before he can stop himself. He quickly presses his lips together into a thin line and shakes his head. “That’s if you two will allow me, of course.”

Anaxa huffs a laugh. “You’ll have to convince Sage first.”

“I… Why does she dislike me so much?”

That question makes Anaxa falter. A look of contemplation clouds his expression as he says, “It might be my fault. My divorce– It wasn’t amicable..”

A lump forms in Phainon’s throat. There’s no need for Anaxa to explain any further, but he continues, “My ex-husband and I were college classmates, and things went well for a while. And then it didn’t. He contested me for everything; the house, the car, Sage’s custody, our joint savings. I thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but he said I focused too much on Sage and just wasn’t the same as before.”

If it wasn’t for the cup in his hands, Phainon would have had fists on the table instead. “You both just had your daughter and he said you didn’t care enough for him?”

“I birthed Sage,” Anaxa confesses, his lashes trembling. Phainon’s eyes go wide as the implication of Anaxa’s words settle. “There were complications in the delivery but we both survived. He didn’t think it was that drastic, and that’s when our marriage started to fall apart and he sought comfort from another.”

“Anaxa, you don’t have to…”

Anaxa snorts, taking a sip out of his tea. There’s a distant, far look in his eyes that causes a knot to form in Phainon’s stomach. He doesn’t like the look on Anaxa’s face one bit. “He stayed for another three years, but those three years were hard. I should have walked away then, but it’s hard when this frail body can’t take care of Sage and earn enough to cover for both of us.”

Phainon bites his lower lip so hard that it nearly draws blood. He doesn’t think it’s possible to hold anger towards someone he’s never met before, but today proves that it is possible.

“Don’t blame Sage too much. If anything, it’s on me. She grew up in a toxic environment and we’re still trying to unlearn the ropes.”

“You talk a lot about how the divorce affected them, Anaxa. But what about you?”

Anaxa’s eyes go wide as Phainon’s question sinks in. Lips press thinly together as he answers, “As long as Sage is happy, that’s good enough.”

Phainon shakes his head so hard, his hair falls over his face. He quickly brushes it out of his face as he says, “I think your happiness is a priority too. Live for yourself a little bit more, Anaxa.”

The corners of Anaxa’s eyes soften and his lips part wordlessly. The colour that spreads across his face and down his neck is lovely as Anaxa pretends to take another sip of his tea. Phainon indulges in the silence as he enjoys his own cup, humming softly in happiness at how good it is.

The conversation soon steers away from their pasts and Anaxa tells Phainon what to do if Sage wakes; if she’s still nauseous, make sure she only drinks little sips of water. Her medications are by her bedside, and there’s some soup that Anaxa had made earlier for her sitting in the pot. If she does throw up, there are new plastic bags under the sink and the bin to throw her soils is in the kitchen. And if anything happens, Phainon can interrupt his meeting in his office that shouldn’t take more than an hour and–

“Anaxa,” Phainon eventually grabs him by the wrist as he notices Anaxa’s forehead beginning to crease. “It’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. Go and do your best. Leave the rest to me.”

“I…” Anaxa begins, but he closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath before exhaling it slowly. The tension around his shoulders ease and his eyes are brighter when he opens them up again. “Thank you, Phainon, really.”

Phainon gives him a small wave and smiles reassuringly. “Go do your best!”

Anaxa looks as though he has more to say but eventually chooses to give him a tight, small smile instead before he disappears into his office on the first floor. Phainon takes his time to finish the last of his tea, his heart warm at how good it tastes, before he rinses it under that cursed cold running water and sets the clean cup aside.

Once the kitchen is tidy, he heads upstairs again to check on Sage, and this time, the girl is awake. Sage is sitting up on her bed, her eyes glassy and miserable.

“You’re not mama…” She whimpers, tears already beginning to well up in her eyes. “Where’s mama?”

Phainon squats down by Sage’s bedside and presses the back of his hand to Sage’s head, humming quietly when he feels the heat of a fever against his skin. “Anaxa has an important work thing to attend to, so it’s just you and me for now. How are you feeling?”

Sage sulks, the tears trickling down her cheeks. “I want mama…”

“He promises he’ll be back in a bit. Asked me to take good care of you in the meantime.”

She harrumphs as loudly as she can for someone so small and turns away. “Don’t want you! Want mama. Only mama can take care of me.”

Phainon slowly inhales, reminding himself that she’s only a child and there’s only so much he can do. His main focus is to make sure Sage takes her medication, rests, and Anaxa will be back in an hour’s time.

But the concept is always easier than reality; it takes him a lot of hoaxing out of Sage to find out how she’s feeling before she confesses that she’s still nauseous but she refuses to lie down. She must have inherited her stubbornness from Anaxa, because there’s no way this little kid is able to muster so much energy despite still looking pale and sickly.

Maybe, if Sage sees how much Phainon cares for her, she might change her mind about him and Phainon might be able to woo her father? Maybe?

There are too many thoughts running through Phainon’s mind and he shouldn’t be thinking about things like that.

At some point, Sage asks, “Did you bring Snowy?”

And when she gets ‘no’ for an answer, she cries. Full-on tears, cries from deep within her chest, and Phainon has to frantically soothe her tears so her father doesn’t hear her from downstairs. She cries so hard while pounding her small fists against his chest that she ends up throwing up on Phainon as well, causing the man to grimace and gag. For that, she does look apologetic.

Phainon says nothing as he helps her clean up. Anaxa will probably be better suited to give her a shower later, so he wipes her face and asks her to change into a clean shirt. While she does that, Phainon busies himself with the mess on the floor and sealing it all away in a bag. His own t-shirt is completely soiled and he makes a face at how sour it smells. Once Sage is clean and fresh, Phainon makes her drink some water and insists she lie down.

He goes down to Anaxa’s office, awfully terrible that he has to interrupt the man, but he doesn’t have much of a choice. A heavy knock on the door immediately has Anaxa speaking quick and tight, his voice muffled by the heavy door.

But Phainon hears the sound of something being put down, so he waits. He has weighed his options here; wait for Anaxa to finish and keep wearing his soiled t-shirt, or interrupt his meeting. Unfortunately, Phainon doesn’t think he nor Sage can survive the smell of puke.

The door opens within seconds, and Anaxa is staring down at him with huge, horrified eyes. “Phainon– What happened? Is–”

“Everything is fine,” he emphasises. “Sage just threw up on me, so I have to borrow something to wear, if that’s okay. I’m really sorry to interrupt your meeting like this.”

“Oh,” Anaxa exhales, the worry lines smoothening out across his face. “Yeah, give me a sec–”

Anaxa disappears back into his office and rummages through a drawer. Through the opened door, Phainon frowns at the sight of a bigger mess. Papers are scattered everywhere, folders are left open on the small coffee table, a handful of coffee mugs are left on his study table, and his monitor screen is showing off a ZOOM call that Phainon has so painfully interrupted.

Anaxa is quick in returning to the door and hands him an old, soft t-shirt. “I hope this fits… It’s one of the bigger t-shirts I own.”

Phainon shakes his head as he teasingly says, “I hope I don’t burst the seams.”

Anaxa’s eyes go round, like something disconnected in his head, and his face turns pink before he shakes his head. “That’s… It’s fine. It’s old already anyway. If it does tear, it’s okay.”

Phainon nearly presses the t-shirt close to him but quickly remembers that his own is still soiled. His smile is warm as he asks, “do you mind if I use the shower?”

“Not at all. I’m sorry for the mess she caused. Just toss your t-shirt in the laundry basket, I’ll–”

Phainon’s smile turns into a grin as he interrupts, “No worries. Now hurry back to your meeting. See you later!”

He quickly leaves before Anaxa gets another word out and heads back upstairs, first to check on the sick child to see if she’s still lying in bed. She is, with a book in her lap. Since she hasn’t noticed Phainon’s return, he hastily hops into the bathroom to take a quick shower, rinsing off the smell and grime of vomit.

Everything about Anaxa’s home is so welcoming and gentle, it feels like a complete contrast to the man himself who is almost aloof and indifferent at first sight. But the more he gets to know Anaxa, the more he realises that this home is exactly how Anaxa is like.

A small part of Phainon now wonders if he’s intruding in Anaxa’s and Sage’s lives. That self-doubt embeds itself into Phainon’s chest and the feelings further blooms. After all, Sage has good reason to not like Phainon and no matter what he has done so far, Sage still isn’t willing to accept Phainon in her life. Not even as Anaxa’s friend.

Shaking his head, he forces himself to rid those thoughts. He’s here because Anaxa reached out for help. It’s not about him. If he wants to, he can go home and think about everything later. Right now, his main focus is to take care of Sage and help lift some weight off Anaxa’s shoulders.

When Phainon returns to Sage’s bedroom, she’s clambering around the room with her flushed, red cheeks. She’s clearly swaying in her steps but she refuses to go back to bed, wanting to get something and to go see Anaxa.

She has made a few attempts in escaping Phainon’s clutches, but the young man is quick enough to catch her each time and put her back into bed. When she realises she’s not going to get to see Anaxa her way, she cries and throws a tantrum. Phainon even fears she might throw up on him again but he forces himself to stay put.

“Sage, you need to rest.”

“No! I want to see mama!”

“Anaxa is busy right now, he’ll be back soon but you have to be good while you wait… Your body is too weak to keep running around like this!”

“Wah… I don’t care! I want mama now!”

“Sage…”

Ignoring Phainon’s words, the little girl begins climbing up Phainon, who has settled himself on the floor near her bed. Her tiny fingers tug harshly at his hair and he yelps, pain blooming across his scalp. “I wanna see mama…!!”

As gently as he can, Phainon plucks Sage off of him and places her back on her two feet. He wipes away her tears as he says firmly, “If you don’t behave, how do you think mama will feel? He has a big meeting that’s really important and he can’t afford to make mistakes. If you keep crying and calling for him, he won’t be able to focus.”

She smacks his hands away as fat tears continue to roll down her cheeks but she says nothing, pressing her lips together so tightly that her cheeks puff up. Her body trembles with hiccups but eventually she relents and sags down on the floor. “Can.. Can you read me a book?”

Thinking that she has finally softened, Phainon nods. “Of course. Which one?”

Sage points to a book under her bedside table and Phainon peels it off the floor. He tells her to climb back into bed, and he watches as she does, her little feet dangling off the bed before she finally settles in. Phainon makes sure she drinks a little bit of water before he starts reading to her.

But not even three pages in, Sage mumbles groggily, “Phaiphai is bad at reading…”

Phainon stops reading mid-sentence, a little bit offended, but also in disbelief. He glances over at the little girl who’s curled up on her bed, her cheeks no longer as flushed before and she’s struggling to keep her eyes open. What a little liar. He’s not a bad reader at all!

Instead of arguing with her, Phainon continues reading the book, telling the adventure of a little bunny who wants to find his way back home, where his mother waits for him patiently. Eventually, Phainon’s soothing voice lulls Sage back to sleep, and this time, she looks more peaceful and less uncomfortable.

When a frantic Anaxa finds them later, Phainon is settled on the floor, his head propped under an elbow on the edge of Sage’s bed, fast asleep. Sage is tucked warmly into bed, her body curling close to Phainon, and she looks much better than when Anaxa had left her.

His heart stutters at the sight and something inside Anaxa cracks that evening.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚

Four days later, in the middle of the night after Phainon has brushed his teeth, he receives a text that has his worries blowing through the roof. Snowy tilts his head to the side, pressing his nosy little snout into Phainon’s thigh. His owner, though, doesn’t acknowledge him.

[11:22PM] Anaxa 🥺: I might not make it the park tomorrow. I think I’m down with what Sage had a few days ago.

[11:22PM] Phainon: !!!

[11:22PM] Phainon: are u ok :(

[11:22PM] Phainon: do u want me to come over and look after sage?

[11:23PM] Phainon: bc i most definitely can!!

[11:23PM] Anaxa 🥺: I don’t want to trouble you again so soon

[11:23PM] Anaxa 🥺: I called her usual sitter, they’ll be helping to pick her up and drop her off at school.

[11:24PM] Phainon: how are you feeling?

[11:29PM] Anaxa 🥺: Mostly tired. I threw up a few times, so I’m just going to get as much rest as I can.

[11:35PM] Phainon: i’ll come over tomorrow.

[11:36PM] Anaxa 🥺: I don’t want to pass you whatever is going around in the house.

[11:37PM] Anaxa 🥺: I’ll be fine, really.

[11:40PM] Phainon: i want to come see you :(

[11:45PM] Anaxa 🥺: …Alright

[11:45PM] Anaxa 🥺: But don’t blame me if you get sick, too.

[11:45PM] Phainon: u know i won’t!!

[11:45PM] Phainon: REST LOTS, see you tmrw!!

Phainon locks his phone and is greeted to the gaze of his most curious fluffy friend who is still waiting for an answer. Despite the late hour, Phainon goes into the kitchen and Snowy follows. He peeks into the fridge, and Snowy rests his head on one of the shelves as Phainon inspects what he has in there. There’s not much left, considering he hasn’t been to the supermarket lately. Maybe he should do a grocery run tomorrow morning and pick up a few more things to make something nice for Anaxa.

Decision made, Phainon has to, as always, gently nudge Snowy out of the way so that he can close the door to his fridge. “Come on, Snowy, let’s go see what we can cook tomorrow.”

“Awoo?”

Snowy’s paws trudge behind Phainon as they make their way back to his bedroom. He grabs his laptop and climbs into bed, with Snowy following suit and making himself comfortable on his side of the bed. While his laptop loads up, Snowy is busy kneading the bed to make sure it's fluffed up nicely before he folds himself on top and Phainon can give him scratches.

“‘Sage is still recovering and Anaxa isn’t well, what do you think we can make, Snowy?”

Snowy’s ruffs are short and low as he replies to Phainon, and the man only nods. “You’re right, something simple and light on the stomach. Maybe congee?”

He gets a rumble as a response, so Phainon spends the next hour looking up recipes and ingredients, and texting Mydei in the middle of the night in hopes that his best friend is still awake to ask for alternatives to certain ingredients. When he realises Mydei isn’t awake, he turns to Dan Heng, his college mate, and, thanks to timezone differences, the man is still awake.

They exchange ideas for a while, texting till it’s almost two in the morning and Phainon’s eyelids are drooping. Snowy has already long gone to bed and the streets outside have quietened down. His laptop is already closed and the light in his room has already been switched off so Snowy can sleep better.

[01:48AM] Dan Heng: I didn’t get the chance to ask, but who are you cooking for?

[01:48AM] Dan Heng: You rarely ask for recipes because you always say you can’t cook to save a life.

[01:48AM] Dan Heng: Is someone you care for sick?

Phainon’s cheeks flush hot as he buries his face into his pillow, pulling up his blanket up to his nose. He thinks about Anaxa, so kind and clever, so patient and loving to his daughter, and scrunches up his nose. Every time he thinks about Anaxa, his heart flutters forlornly and he knows he’s in trouble.

That evening, Phainon had woken up to Anax preparing a meal for the two of them and something milder for Sage. Two completely different meals, just because. Phainon had panicked and said Anaxa didn’t have to go through all that hassle, especially after he had taken care of Sage all morning and finished a meeting, but Anaxa told him that it was the least he could do.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

Sleepiness begins to invade the corners of Phainon’s mind as he thinks about Anaxa taking a ‘rain check’ on that dinner and sighs. It’s more clear than ever that Phainon really, really likes Anaxa and he wants to try and take a step forward. He’s just not sure how much Anaxa likes him. Obviously, Anaxa cares about him and treats him well like a friend, but other than that, Phainon really has no clue.

Suddenly, Phainon’s chest is tight and heavy, sinking to the pits of his stomach and he can only squeeze his eyes shut. Maybe it’s because Phainon is too young. After all, Anaxa is already in his early thirties with a child and here Phainon is, fresh out of college and trying to figure his way out around the world. But he knows he won’t be a burden to Anaxa. He has long refused to be a burden to anyone.

If only Anaxa will give him a chance to do so…

No, Phainon can’t think like this. He’s not owed anything. He simply tried his luck and it just hasn’t worked out the way he wants to. Now that he thinks about it, nothing has gone according to his plan. Even getting to know Anaxa was a whirlwind; Snowy completely went off rails and Phainon didn’t even manage to muster up the courage to say the right things, and somehow they’re still here today. Phainon has gotten the chance to meet Anaxa’s kid, got to care for her, and now Anaxa is allowing him to come over to take care of him too.

He can’t impose his feelings on people.

Nope! No can do.

Phainon will care for Anaxa respectfully, and as a friend. That’s all he will do!

Yeah, that’s what he’ll do. Tomorrow, he’ll wake early and head to the supermarket and get the ingredients to make congee and head over to Anaxa’s place. His alarm is set and his shopping list is ready. Phainon will just do his duties as a friend!

That’s it.

Yup, yup. That’s all he’ll do! Phainon makes the decision as he pulls his blanket closer to him and types a reply to Dan Heng. Then, he closes his eyes and lets sleep take him.

When his alarm rings a couple of hours later, Phainon nearly misses it. If it wasn’t for Snowy who’s busy pressing his snout into Phainon’s hair and his tongue licking continuously at Phainon’s face, he might really continue sleeping his day off.

At one point, he even pushes Snowy’s face away and mumbles, “it’s a no run day, Snowy… Let me sleep in…”

When his brain finally comes online and figures out why it’s a no run day, he jerks up in bed and grabs his phone, checking the time.

It’s only seven-thirty, so he has enough time to head out to the supermarket down the street. Snowy gets to tag along and they’re both out of the house within fifteen minutes, nearly running to the supermarket instead.

Snowy gives his opinions on what sort of fresh meat Phainon should get, which vegetables look greener, and what sort of herbs he should get. Phainon listens attentively as he checks through his messages with Dan Heng, ensuring that he’s gotten all the items he has before they make their payment for purchases. Once that’s done, Phainon doesn’t immediately head home. They continue down the street to the Asian supermarket to grab some Chinese herbs. He spends a little bit more time there because he’s not sure what he's even looking for. Snowy doesn’t even bother trying to help because it’s his first time there and he’d rather look around and be his nosy little self, trying to charm the old lady down the aisle.

Eventually, someone does take pity on him and helps him out. With a lot of gratitude in his heart, Phainon thanks the elderly man for his help and quickly rushes home with Snowy holding a light bag of groceries in his mouth.

It’s still early and the streets around his neighborhood are only just starting to wake up. But in Phainon’s apartment, he already has fish boiled and seasoned, while rice is currently bubbling in his pot on the stove. He’s working on chopping up the herbs he got, slicing thinner stripes of ginger and orange peels, and boiling up water to fill into a flask.

Snowy is chewing on a bone Phainon grabbed at the supermarket, his tail languidly sweeping across the floor and occasionally over Phainon’s feet. Once the pot of congee is ready, he slides the chicken into the pot and adds a little bit of oyster sauce and salt into it. He turns off the heat and goes back to making the herbal tea according to Dan Heng’s recommendations.

“Snowy, do you think Anaxa and Sage will like it?” Phainon asks as he lowers the now filled flask to Snowy’s level. His puppy takes a sniff and begins barking while panting in excitement, pressing his face into Phainon’s arm.

Nodding to himself, he caps it tight and puts it into the thermos bag he’s prepared. “It’s Snowy-approved.”

As the pot of congee continues to cool, Phainon quickly takes a shower to freshen up. By the time he’s ready, the congee is light and fluffy, but filled with lots of goodness. At nine-thirty in the morning, Phainon is ladelling out congee into two thermos flasks and sprinkling a little bit of pepper and spring onions for flavour and aesthetics.

By the time he is ready to head out to Anaxa’s place, it’s ten am. He drops a text to Anaxa and makes sure the man is aware and awake when he arrives, to which Anaxa responds that he is up. This time, Phainon has learnt his lesson and not indulge too much in Snowy’s neediness. He makes sure all his bowls are once again filled and he has a treat that will last him the whole day before he heads out without explaining himself to Snowy.

He pretends he doesn’t hear Snowy’s confused noise and grabs his bike and cycles his way to Anaxa’s house, careful to not go too fast in case he spills everything he has packed for his little visit. It might be an overkill, but Phainon would rather be prepared than sorry.

Sage has been a little bit more willing to accept him in his life now and he doesn’t know how long that will last. So while he is starting to get in her good books, he’d rather take advantage of it too.

When Phainon knocks on the door to Anaxa’s house, he expects to see a bundled up Anaxa at the door. But he’s still surprised by the sight.

Anaxa’s skin is almost grey from how sick he is and his eyes are not as vibrant as before.

“This is not the definition of ‘I’m fine’.” Phainon blurts out, his voice laced with worry. He doesn’t give Anaxa time to say anything as he quickly ushers the man back inside so he can shut the door to keep the house warm. Anaxa’s lips are cracked and dry when his tongue sneaks out to lick them.

“I am fine, just tired.” His cheeks are hollowed out and Anaxa looks like he might throw up anytime soon.

“Yeah, let’s get you back to bed.”

The living room has been made into a makeshift bedroom, but Phainon much rather Anaxa lay in an actual bed.

“I’m too tired to walk up... The couch is fine.”

Phainon clicks his tongue and places his bag down on the floor. Boots off, he sweeps Anaxa quickly but gently into his arms and the older man makes a small sound as he throws his arms around Phainon to steady himself. “Phain—“

“Bed.” Phainon says sternly as he carefully climbs up the stairs to not jostle Anaxa too much. Anaxa is far too light in Phainon’s arms and the man steels himself to make sure Anaxa eats more. He misses the way colour stains Anaxa’s cheeks and the older man can only force himself to relax in Phainon’s hold.

He maneuvers around Anaxa’s house with ease, shifting Anaxa to one arm so he can push his bedroom door open wider.

The bed isn’t even made; the blanket is thrown aside like the owner was in a rush and never came back. Clicking his tongue, Phainon gently lays Anaxa down on his bed and inspects his room. There is little light coming through the curtains and Phainon braces himself to prop open the windows for a little fresh air to come in.

On the bed, Anaxa’s cheeks are flaming hot and his eyes are still wide from what just happened. His gaze follows Phainon as he wanders back to his side with a sheepish look.

Finally, it sinks in how rude Phainon was and he panics. “Sorry if that was rude… I just- You need a lot of rest and I just—“

“It’s okay,” Anaxa croaks out, pulling his blanket up to his chin. “Thanks for carrying me up.”

Phainon brushes a warm hand over Anaxa’s forehead and frowns when it’s scorching hot. He nearly wrenches his hand back from the heat with a frown. Anaxa’s skin is clammy from sweat and his hair sticks to his face. Phainon takes a good look at him and his heart breaks.

Anaxa’s breathing is heavy and he looks like he’s struggling to breathe. His movements are lethargic as he reaches out for the glass of water on the table side.

“Have you seen a doctor yet?” Phainon asks softly as he settles gingerly on the side of Anaxa’s bed. His fingers itch to brush the hair out of Anaxa’s face but he refrains from doing so and opts to watch Anaxa take small sips of water instead.

“No,” Anaxa answers tiredly as he places his glass back on the counter. “Just thought I’d take meds and sleep it off.”

“You’re running a fever.”

“It’s not that bad,” Anaxa argues back as he sinks deeper into his array of pillows. “I just need to sleep it off…”

Truly stubborn. “Did you throw up this morning?”

Anaxa nods, glancing towards the bathroom door in his room. “Just before you arrived.”

As sternly as he can, Phainon says, “Anaxa.”

At least Anaxa has the decency to look mildly sheepish. “My assistant has already nagged my ear off. You don’t have to, too.”

“Your assistant has a good reason! I brought some herbal tea and congee for you and Sage, but that’s only if you can stomach it.”

Anaxa stares at him. “What… Do you mean you made food and tea… It’s only eleven.”

Phainon shrugs as he looks away in embarrassment. He diverts the topic more firmly this time and insists, “Rest. You’re going to need to sweat out this fever.”

Anaxa looks like he wants to argue more but his face turns green and he’s pushing Phainon out of the way to barge into the bathroom. Phainon is three steps behind him as Anaxa throws up into the toilet bowl, the sound awful and wet. Phainon rubs soothing circles down Anaxa’s back as the older man dry heaves.

Phainon knows Anaxa is done when the man slumps down on the floor with a small groan. Without a word, he grabs a cup and fills it with water for Anaxa to rinse his mouth. He watches quietly as the man takes it with trembling hands.

Anaxa looks even smaller as he tries to calm his body down. He looks so fragile and thin, and Phainon eventually comes to the conclusion that Anaxa has been running himself to the ground looking after Sage all alone after all these years.

The sound of the toilet flushing draws him back to reality and he helps Anaxa up. The older man sways on his feet and Phainon clicks his tongue. “Come on, back to bed and sleep.”

Begrudgingly, Anaxa leans his weight on Phainon and lets the younger man lead him back to bed. “I can do it myself.”

“I know,” Phainon says, humoring him. “But I want to do it.”

As he sinks back down on his pillows, Anaxa looks at him warily. “…You always say you want to do this, want to do that. Those words have meaning, Phainon.”

It strikes him where it hurts. Did Anaxa think he was not sincere? “Do you think I don’t know what ‘I want to’ means, Anaxa?”

A silence bestows itself upon them as Anaxa pulls his blanket up to his nose, leaving only those beautiful eyes for Phainon to see. Still, it’s more than enough. “You’re still young and—“

“I’m old enough to decide what I want to do.” Phainon interrupts, his gaze sharp and piercing. Anaxa burrows his brows together adorably before he sighs. He slides himself further down his bed and turns onto his other side like a child giving Phainon a cold shoulder.

His voice comes out muffled as he says, “do what you want. I’m going to sleep.”

Phainon smiles wistfully as he gives Anaxa’s shoulder a light squeeze. “Good. Have a good rest, Anaxa.”

He waits until Anaxa’s breathing evens out as much as possible before he brushes the strands of hair that’s still clinging to his face away. Never in his life did he think he’ll be taking care of a sick child, and, days later, her father.

He never expected to be inside Anaxa’s house at his most vulnerable. Never expected to be here like this.

Once he makes sure Anaxa is truly asleep, Phainon leaves his room quietly. As the doors click shut behind him, tourmaline eyes flutter open and Anaxa curls up into a tight ball, his cheeks flaming hot.

He ducks further down under the covers, his heart thumping hard against his chest as he shakes his head. Phainon is too young, and has a whole life ahead of him.

Anaxa can’t let his feelings hinder Phainon’s future like this.

Not like this. It’s childish to think he can pursue something with Phainon like this. He’s been nothing but warm and attentive to Anaxa, cares for Sage, but Anaxa doesn’t want to burden Phainon with a life like this.

But ever since they crossed paths, Phainon truly has been nothing but amazing. He doesn’t even flinch when Sage pukes on him or when Anaxa is dry heaving into the toilet bowl.

He meets them with a patience that his ex-husband never gave Sage, and a kindness that burns right through the walls built around Anaxa’s heart. Anaxa yearns, and he wants to be brave. To meet Phainon where he is, but he’s not sure how to even begin.

Downstairs, Phainon helps clean up the place as much as he can, unbeknownst to Anaxa’s dilemma. Sage’s toys are scattered around her play area, so he starts there. He finds a packet of baby-safe wipes and wipes down all of Sage’s toys, sanitising them from head to toe.

Mydei will probably call all of his actions unnecessarily, that Anaxa will take advantage of him, that this is way beyond what a friend will do for another friend. Other people might take advantage of him. But Phainon doubts Anaxa will do something like this. Besides, seeing Anaxa throw up like that and collapse so weakly back on his bed, Phainon doesn’t have the heart to leave him just like that.

There’s still two hours before Sage is due to come home, so he better get to work. During his breaks, Phainon had read up on what it’s like for a household when a kid falls sick. Deep cleaning of toys, clothes, and decontaminating the house is most crucial.

Phainon doesn’t want to overstep here, he just wants to help in the little way he can. He clears the toys, tidies up the couch, and goes to the laundry room to empty the dryer and repeats the process with the washer.

By one, Phainon inspects the congee. It's still warm and fluffy, but it won’t stay like this forever. It has to be consumed soon but Phainon doesn’t really have the heart to go wake Anaxa up. Still, the man needs to eat.

He pours Anaxa’s portion with a spoon and grabs the herbal tea to head upstairs. Anaxa is still fast asleep, his temple drenched in sweat. Phainon frowns and goes to the bathroom to search for towels. He soaks one in cold water and the other at room temperature before he returns to Anaxa’s side. Using one towel, Phainon dabs at Anaxa’s face as gently as he can. Anaxa stirs under Phainon and the man has to hold his breath until he realises Anaxa isn’t going to wake.

Sage is going to be home soon, so Phainon is quick. Once Anaxa’s face is cleaned, he drapes the cold towel over his forehead and leaves the flasks by Anaxa’s bedside.

Just as he shuts the door behind him, he hears the front door open and Sage’s voice carry upwards. He heads downstairs and greets Sage and her sitter, who looks even younger than Phainon.

Sage’s eyes are wide as she takes in Phainon’s presence before she’s glancing behind him for a long time. When she notices there’s no Snowy trailing behind him, she pouts for a moment. She doesn’t chirp up like she does when she sees Snowy, but she does look happy to see him. “Phaiphai!”

“Hi, Sage. Hi there!” He greets the babysitter who looks at him with a dazed look before she quickly snaps back to reality.

“Hi! Sorry, I’m just dropping Sage off today because Anaxa says he’s home but not well. I wasn’t expecting his boyfriend—“

“Phaiphai is a mama’s friend!” Sage interjects, turning on her heels to look at the sitter. That stings, but nothing is more humiliating than the sitter not believing her. The corners of the sitter’s lips twitch and she nods.

“Of course,” she uses the tone most grown ups use to humor a child and laugh. “I shall not hold you guys back. Please send Anaxa my regards.”

Sage waves at her sitter with all her might until Phainon closes the door behind her and turns to look at her. “Snowy is resting at home today because your mama needs to rest.”

Her pout protrudes even more as she says, “You said that when Sage was sick too. Mama said lying isn’t good…”

Phainon raises a brow. “Who said I was lying? Your mama is really sick. He’s upstairs resting. Don’t be too loud now, or you’ll wake him. I made lunch for you. Do you want to go get changed and come back down to eat it?”

Sage stands at the entryway for another minute, her eyes glassy as she thinks about his words. To coax her a little more, Phainon says, “I brought you some books I think you’ll like. We can read it after lunch.”

She perks up immediately with interest but catches herself at the last moment. “Can I go see mama?”

“Later,” Phainon replies. “He’ll want to see Sage who has finished her lunch and is well rested!”

“Oh,” she whispers. “Okay.”

Then she disappears up the stairs and returns back down within minutes. Phainon barely has the time to even pour her congee out into a bowl when she stumbles in with her hair in a mess.

His jaw drops at the sight and nearly wants to brush her hair for her, but refrains. “Did you dig through a tunnel, Sage?”

The child climbs up her seat and looks at Phainon like he’s grown another head and shakes her head. “You said lunch! And books! It would be better with Snowy…”

“Snowy isn’t forgotten. You’ll see him again soon.”

Sage harrumphs and looks away, but can’t resist the delicious aroma of Phainon’s cooking. When the bowl of congee is placed before him, she quickly digs in. He watches as the child devours his cooking, a delight spreading its wings inside his chest. She looks so content and happy eating that bowl; he makes a mental reminder to text Dan Heng to thank him for the recipe.

In between bites, Sage declares, “You’re mean for leaving Snowy at home just because mama is sick. How can you take care of mama if you can’t take care of Snowy! Will you leave mama if you find someone new?”

Her words are like the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Finally, finally, Phainon understands why Sage is the way she is. He huffs a small laugh and bravely dares to wipe away some congee that has gotten on her face. She juts out her lips at him, as though not approving of his actions.

“Sage, I like your mama very much. I won’t leave him just because there’s something new in my life,” he pauses, thoughtful. Anaxa is sound asleep upstairs, and he won’t be able to hear his conversation with his five-year-old. He also doesn’t think that Sage is able to reiterate everything back to his father word for word, so what’s the harm? “If your mama will let me, I want to get to know him, and you, of course, more. But in order for me to do so… You must trust that I won’t hurt your mama. He’s the bestest person in the world, isn’t he?”

Obviously, Sage isn’t expecting that kind of sincerity from Phainon. She’s only five! What would she know? She scrunches up her face tightly, her chubby cheeks puffing up so adorably that Phainon has the urge to pinch them.

“You care for mama?”

With the most conviction and earnestness Phainon can muster, he nods his head and meets Sage’s gaze dead on. “Yes.”

She puts her spoon down on the table, leftover congee splattering over the table. “Sage won’t let you steal mama away from her! Sage is still mama’s number one.”

Phainon laughs, the sound a little bit tender as he ruffles Sage’s hair. The five year old whines and reaches up to smack Phainon’s hands away so she can put two small hands on her hair.

“Bossy,” Phainon whispers. Sage sticks out her tongue at him and puffs up her small chest. “You’ll always be Anaxa’s number one. So do I have permission to woo your father, Sage?”

He has never planned on taking her place. He just wants to treat Anaxa right and love him the way he deserves. And Sage naturally is included in the picture.

Bright, round aqua eyes look at Phainon steadfast, and she presses her lips tightly together before nodding. “Only if you will treat mama nicely!”

At the top of the stairs, Anaxa stands there with one blanket draped over his shoulders, his cheeks red as he listens to their conversation, his head giddy with thoughts.

Anaxa doesn’t do giddy. He’s a man in his early thirties. There’s no way he’s acting like he’s eighteen and crushing on a classmate. But unfortunately or fortunately for him, it is what it is. He buries his face into his blanket and glances back at the empty flask that once held congee, and relents.

Maybe just this once, he can allow himself to have something nice for himself.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚

Snowy’s barks and Sage’s giggles are light and bright as Anaxa shivers from a cold gust of wind. It’s been two weeks since Anaxa’s own stomach flu. Both father and daughter recovered fast while under Phainon’s care, eating everything he prepared and listening to his orders to stay in bed or go to bed when they should.

The whole time, Sage was observing him like a hawk, watching whenever Phainon went into Anaxa’s room to change out the towel on his forehead or help to wipe his face clean, cook comfort foods for the both of them, and listened intently to their conversations despite being only a five-year-old. Anaxa had pinched her cheek and scolded her for being so nosy, told her to go play with her own toys, and Sage had kicked up a fuss then.

Winter is rapidly approaching, so this might be their last picnic of the year, but Phainon doesn’t mind. He’s prepared both Anaxa’s and Sage’s favourite foods, brought a few treats for Snowy to indulge him, and even bought a new book for Anaxa to read.

“I made pudding,” Phainon says after a heated discussion about another book that Anaxa and Phainon are currently reading that left Anaxa on the losing end. “I think you’ll like it.”

Anaxa narrows his gaze at him, arms folding over his chest as he lifts his chin. “I’m not a child, Phainon. You can’t just try to coax me with sweets.”

With an eagerness that can compete with Snowy, Phainon pops the box open to show off the most beautiful banana biscoff pudding he’s ever made in his life. He watches carefully as Anaxa’s eyes widen just briefly, before he harrumphs. So cute.

“I’m not trying to coax you into anything. I just wanted you and Sage to have something after powering through your stomach flu.”

Anaxa’s gaze flickers back to the pudding, as if trying to resist the temptations of the sweet dessert. Eventually, he caves and digs his spoon into the soft treat. Phainon swears Anaxa’s eyes light up when he takes the bite and he hums softly at how happy he is. But Phainon doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to point that out. Anaxa will probably just shoot him down for it.

But the picnic is not really just to celebrate their recovery, either; Phainon has been mustering up his courage for the last two weeks, hesitating over if he should ask, if he should make the first move. Neither of them addressed the rain check that Anaxa has brushed off the last time around, and Phainon isn’t too sure if he should even try to use that as an attempt.

After two more bites of the pudding, Anaxa finally compliments him, “It’s good.”

Phainon beams, all warm and happy. “Isn’t it? I’m glad you like it! I hope Sage will like it too.”

He glances over to where Sage is, giggling when Snowy leaps his way back to Sage with the tennis ball in his mouth. Sage barely grimaces as she takes the wet ball and tosses it far again, and Snowy barks excitedly before running to chase after it.

“Sage will like anything sweet. She got that from me.”

“Oh, I’m glad,” Phainon exhales, putting the tub of pudding down with a bashful smile. “I wasn’t sure if you’ll like sweets.”

The corners of Anaxa’s lips lift into a teasing smile. “Aren’t you already a good definition of what kind of sweets I like?”

Phainon’s brain blanks out and his cheeks turn pink when he understands Anaxa’s words. His blood is roaring in his ears and the thousand butterflies in his chest have once again come alive. “A-Anaxa…?”

What is he trying to say?

Is he trying to say what Phainon thinks he is saying? Surely, Phainon can’t be misunderstanding him, right? Anaxa just called him sweet. Surely, that means what Phainon thinks it means, right?

“I…” His cheeks are flaming hot and he feels like smoke is coming out of the top of his head. Anaxa is watching him wryly, a faint, fond smile on his lips that makes his heart do somersaults in his chest. But the longer Phainon keeps his silence, the more Anaxa’s smile seems to falter. Quickly, Phainon says, “Anaxa, that rain check from before… That dinner… Can we…?”

Gone is the confidence that Anaxa was wearing earlier. He lowers his gaze, his own cheeks red. In a soft voice, Anaxa confesses, “I thought you might not ask again. I have a sitter ready for whenever, so if you–”

“Tonight! Let’s do it tonight!”

Anaxa blinks up at him in surprise, his eyes widening before his entire expression softens into a sweet, lovely tenderness that makes Phainon want to cry. He doesn’t want to lose another chance. Opportunities like this are so rare, and he doesn’t know what changed Anaxa’s mind, but he’s not going to let it slip through his fingers again.

“So soon? Are you sure? Don’t you want some wiggle room in case you want to back out?”

Phainon balks. “Anaxa, what are you talking about?! I’ve been very sure of this since I first met you. Nothing is going to change my mind.”

Something like clarity shines bright in Anaxa’s eyes as he asks, “Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

Anaxa nods slowly, carefully. “Tonight, then.”

Phainon grins, his heart about to explode. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

Sage tumbles back to their side on the picnic mat, her cheeks wind kissed and her hair wind blown. She flops down dramatically on her back and giggles, looking up at the sky before looking at Anaxa. “Mama looks happy.”

When Phainon finally dares to take a full, good look at Anaxa, he realises that Sage is right. Anaxa’s own smile is reserved and breathtaking, his entire demeanor softening into something that Phainon wants to be with for as long as Anaxa will have him.

One perk of being best friends with Mydeimos is that he is always welcomed at his family-owned restaurant anytime of the day, regardless of the season he chooses to come in on. Of course, Phainon never abuses that right. The restaurant is one of the best in Amphoreus, with a few chains across the different cities, all with a stellar five star rating and high compliments with most of them talking about how romantic the ambience is and how good the food is.

Naturally, Phainon hasn’t brought anyone here before. Not until today.

His cheeks are warm as Mydei stands by the entrance to the restaurant while wearing a thoughtful look. Golden eyes keep darting between Phainon and Anaxa, and the longer Mydei stares at Anaxa, the more protective Phainon feels. He’s about to step between Anaxa and Mydei, and even considers taking Anaxa somewhere else for dinner, before Mydei laughs.

“So you’re Anaxagoras. Phainon has talked a lot about you.”

Anaxa raises a brow as he turns to Phainon. “Does he, now?”

Mydei snorts as he gestures for them to follow him into the restaurant. “Nonstop. Talks about how you’re the best thing to ever happen to him. He even talks about your little girl– She’s not here today?”

“Mydei–” Phainon chokes out, his cheeks blazing hot at this point. “Mydei, please stop talking.”

“No, no,” Anaxa interjects. “Tell me more about what Phainon has said.”

Mydei leads them to a quiet corner in the restaurant that already has a candle lit up at the heart of the table. The other tables are filled with customers, all enraptured in their own conversations. Phainon is the one who pulls out the seat for Anaxa despite the older man’s coyness, and Mydei grins at his best friend’s antics.

“Nah, let Phainon tell you all about it. He’ll definitely be able to tell you.”

Phainon wants the floor to open up and swallow him alive so badly. With a slightly louder voice and hopes that his best friend will take the hint, Phainon claps Mydei on the shoulder as he says in a slightly louder voice, “thank you, Mydei. I’ll let you know when we’re ready to order.”

He receives the driest look in return and Mydei snickers. “Remember, Anaxagoras, to ask Phainon what he’s been going around telling people.”

With that, he leaves them to their table and Phainon thinks the simplest way out is to just die. Dying will put him out of all these miseries, especially when Anaxa is looking at him with an expectant smile. He settles across Anaxa at the table and refrains from burying his face into the menu. With what dignity he has left, he opens the menu and sniffles.

The sound of soft laughter finally makes Phainon look up bravely. Anaxa is watching him with a hand cradling his face, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Seeing you equally flustered and clumsy is so endearing.”

“Wh–”

“Relax,” Anaxa offers, reaching out to place his other hand on the table, his palm up. “It’s been a long time for me, so it’s just as unnerving for me.”

Phainon swallows as he hesitantly reaches out, his fingers curling back a little, anxiety biting at the corners of his heart. But Anaxa’s gaze is unwavering as he waits. Taking a small, deep breath, Phainon takes Anaxa’s hand and in the same heartbeat, they give each other a light squeeze. Laughing quietly, Phainon says, “you definitely don’t look uncomfortable at all.”

Anaxa’s hand is so small in Phainon’s, it makes him dizzy. Phainon still can’t believe that they’re here, on a date. An actual date with the both of them dressed up nicely and lovely to impress the other at a nice restaurant that would usually have Phainon second guessing about going.

The older man busies himself studying the menu and Phainon can only watch him helplessly. Anaxa looks so beautiful with his hair down and styled while dressed in a dark blue, satin shirt and black pants. Phainon remembers his brain blanking out when he showed up at Anaxa’s door steps with a bouquet of forget-me-nots, noticing how the outfit highlights every single soft curve of Anaxa’s body.

“I’m not uncomfortable, just… anxious.”

Phainon’s heart flutters as his thumb rubs the back of Anaxa’s hand. “Anxious…?”

Anaxa laughs, soft and light. “Phainon, you’re a young man with so much potential and you’re choosing to use it on me.”

He furrows his brows in confusion as he glances down at the menu, already knowing what he wants to order. But he welcomes the little movement, a distraction to take his weighted gaze off of Anaxa. The older man says ‘me’ like it’s a bad thing, but Phainon knows better. “What’s wrong with liking you?”

Anaxa stares at him like he’s grown a second head and tilts his head to the side, his hair spilling over his shoulder. “I’m in my thirties with a kid. You should be dating someone your age who doesn’t have a child.”

Phainon feels his heart sink all the way to the ground and his hold on Anaxa tightens. The small, warm hand suddenly feels colder and he’s afraid of Anaxa pulling back out of nowhere. In a soft, gentle voice, Phainon says, “don’t be silly. Sage is a darling, and I chose to keep coming back to you, didn’t I?”

Anaxa snorts at his comment about his daughter. “You say she’s a darling but she’s been making your life hell ever since you two met.”

“Well, I mean– She’s doing it because she cares for you. You’re her mama. She’s so fiercely protective of you because she loves you and I think that speaks volumes of you as a person.”

The corners of Anaxa’s lips twitch. “You haven’t met my co-workers. They’ll disagree.”

Phainon’s heart jumps. “Then let me meet them so I can be the judge of that.”

The blush that spreads across Anaxa’s cheeks makes Phainon want to bite that soft flesh so badly. Anaxa looks so adorable and flustered and he wants to see it so much more. “It’s our first… date… and you’re already so confident.”

Phainon can’t help the grin that spreads over his face. “What can I say? I like you too much for this to be the only date, Anaxa.”

He watches Anaxa wedge his lower lip in between his teeth and looks exasperated. “Let’s order dinner before you decide to say more ridiculous things that will give the other customers around us a run of their money."

“Oh, but you won’t?”

Anaxa’s scowl doesn’t really reach his eyes and Phainon laughs, gripping Anaxa’s hand tighter as he calls for their waiter. Even after their order is placed, Phainon refuses to let go of Anaxa’s hand and Anaxa doesn’t seem to have any plans of pulling back either.

“This is a nice place,” Anaxa compliments as he glances around. “You said Mydei is your friend?”

“High school friend,” Phainon corrects with a smile. “This is a family-owned restaurant and he’s the head chef running this place.”

“He seems nice.”

Phainon pouts as he runs his thumb over Anaxa’s knuckles. “He is… gracious and kind. Don’t listen to what he said earlier. Mydei likes to tease me a lot.”

“Oh…” Anaxa says disappointedly. “Here I thought I could ask what great stories you’ve been telling people about me.”

The heat and nervousness spreads all over Phainon’s face, up his ears and down his neck and he nearly cries right there. Of course, Anaxa would tease him like this.

“I mean— I just… You come up in a few conversations now and then…” His embarrassment grows hotter and he can barely look at Anaxa properly. “Mostly about how much Snowy adores you! And… a little bit about Sage.”

“Ah, so nothing about me personally, then?”

“Anaxa…” Phainon whines, his cheeks are so hot that Mydei can probably use it as a stove now.

“I jest, Phainon. I can’t help it; I like it when you’re flustered.”

Phainon’s nerves are about to shoot through the roof with how charming Anaxa can be with his words. He always thought Anaxa was a man of great intellect; he is clever and attentive, uses the right words at the right time, and never fails to impress Phainon with his extensive knowledge. Truthfully, he doesn’t really know what Anaxa sees in him, but he guesses it wouldn’t hurt to start finding out now.

“Please don’t tease me too much, Anaxa…” Phainon whispers, his gaze downcast in mortification. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but Phainon thinks he might just explode in this public space from just being teased.

“Alright, alright. I’ll try to rein it in. If it helps, I talk to my coworkers about you, too. Hyacine is very invested in wanting to get to know you.”

“Hyacine is…?”

“My young assistant. She helps to run most of the show at the clinic and is an absolute sweetheart when she’s not trying to get me to rest.”

Phainon laughs, the tension beginning to slowly bleed out of him. “Oh, but is she wrong? You look like you’re always overworked.”

“Work is important, and Sage is important, too. It’s about compartmentalising and making sure everything is fair.”

Phainon frowns, his heart prickling at the comment. “You’ll end up crashing again if you don’t take care of yourself well, Anaxa.”

In return, Anaxa laughs, a little bit different from his usual soft laughter. “I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can. But you’ll also end up worrying the people around you. Then Ms. Hyacine will simply nag at you more to prove she’s right.”

Anaxa freezes at that and then shakes his head. “No, she’s not. When you meet her, you’ll find out that she’s just someone who overworries.”

When he gets to meet her. Not if. It’s simply a when, a moment that will eventually come to fruition.

They chat a little bit more before dinner is served, and Phainon has to unwillingly let go of Anaxa’s hand. Despite holding his hand for the longest time, he still feels some reluctance in doing so. There will probably be more opportunities for them to hold hands again, so he shoves it aside and watches Anaxa take the first bite of his food.

Anaxa is enthralled by the food before him; a plate of herb-rubbed char-grilled beef cubes, paired with mashed potatoes and dipping sauce. Phainon’s own plate of a lemon chicken wrap smells mouth-watering and he can’t wait to try it out.

Conversation soon flows easily after and they talk about almost everything under the sun. They discuss the new book that Phainon got for Anaxa, talk about Sage’s big plans of building a doll house for one of her favourite dolls, Snowy’s recent adventure of going under a bush while on the way home, and nearly bringing a dead bird home.

Anaxa eventually warms up enough to come clean about his uncertainties around their relationship moving forward, and Phainon listens earnestly, while voicing out his own opinions. He has always had an inkling that Anaxa might not be as comfortable pursuing a relationship with him because he’s young, but he never once thought that it would be that his concerns are for him, not of him.

He doesn’t think it’s possible to have even more feelings for someone, but something in him just wells up. Phainon is more than aware that dating Anaxa will be more than just dating Anaxa. He comes with a little troublemaker who is five years old and smarter than most of her peers.

Quietly, Anaxa confesses, “It’s not the lifestyle most twenty-one year olds want, Phainon.”

“You’re thinking too much and too hard about this, Anaxa. You haven’t even let me try to go on a few dates with you before jumping into conclusions and worries.”

Tourmaline eyes flicker over to him as dessert rolls around. The waiters clear their table to place a cake in front of Anaxa, and a cup of ice cream in front of Phainon. They say nothing until the waiter retreats, and Phainon picks up his spoon. “I can decide what I want in my life, and right now, I’m exactly where I want to be.”

Disbelief colours Anaxa’s cheeks and he can only lower his gaze in thought. “...I don’t want to be disappointed, Phainon. I like you a lot.”

Phainon thinks his entire being might explode right there. He leans forward and takes Anaxa’s hand into his, giving it a warm, encouraging squeeze. “So let’s take it slow. There’s no rush, we have a lot of time ahead of us.”

Anaxa glances down to where their hands are interlinked and nods slowly, then more firmly with conviction.

“Alright, you’re right.”

After a bit more relentless teasing by Mydei at the entrance, Anaxa thanks Mydei for the wonderful dinner and the couple bids him a good night. They stroll down the streets of the Kephale Plaza, with Phainon taking the lead in most conversations. He talks about the cafe he works at and the ridiculous plans Stelle has for the two of them at work, about what he plans to do now that he has graduated from university, and eventually settles into something quieter, more tender.

“Anaxa,” Phainon says his name with reverence as they reach the heart of the plaza. It’s a cold night and Anaxa’s coat looks a little bit too big on him, but it’s so cute, Phainon doesn’t have the heart to say anything about it. “How do you feel about visiting Aedes Elysiae with me someday?”

Anaxa’s brows pinch together in confusion. “I’m very sure we had this conversation before, didn’t we?”

They stop in front of the fountain, where children are playing around with the water and giggling while others run around it in circles. “Yeah, but… I just want to be sure and properly ask you to go home with me one day. I know it’s a little bit rushed, but–”

Anaxa takes Phainon’s hand and squeezes it. “Of course. When that opportunity arises, I’ll go home with you.”

Phainon thinks if his world ended right there, he would have welcomed it. The blush on Anaxa’s cheeks has spread across his nose, dusting his entire face in a warm, lovely pink and his gaze is shy. His lips are rosy red and Phainon has this urge to simply grab Anaxa by the waist and kiss him in the heart of the plaza, but he chides himself multiple times for inappropriateness.

“Are you tired? It’s a bit cold but your home isn’t too far. Do you want to walk back, or…?”

Anaxa glances around the plaza, then in the direction of his house. The streets are quiet, with most people filling up the plaza instead. “Let’s walk. The sitter is staying overnight today, so she’ll be able to tuck Sage into bed. I told her not to wait for me.”

The walk back to Anaxa’s place is almost thirty minutes long, but time slips through their fingers like fine sand. On the way home, there are a few stores that capture Anaxa’s attention and they end up wandering into them. They even stop by one of the bigger bookstores so they can explore the shelves, and they find themselves out of the shop an hour later, a few new books clutched in Phainon’s hand.

His other hand, of course, is busy holding Anaxa’s cold one as they share body heat while walking home. By the time they make it back to Anaxa’s place, it’s eleven in the evening, and the temperatures have dropped drastically. The streets are much quieter now, with his neighbors’ lights being the guide back to his place.

Anaxa is starting to shiver despite the thick coat he has on, and Phainon can feel the chills through his clothes. Phainon takes in a cold, deep breath and smiles, handing Anaxa the two books he’s purchased. They’re standing right under the porch to Anaxa’s home, and when Phainon thinks back much later, this might be the moment he has fallen in love.

With both books clutched close to his chest and his cheeks flushed, Anaxa looks absolutely irresistible and he just wants to kiss Anaxa. But Phainon wants to take it slow, he wants to make sure Anaxa is comfortable, and to build a safe bubble just for Anaxa.

“Thank you for tonight,” Anaxa begins, his voice quiet. “It was really nice. I had a good time.”

Phainon’s chest swells with pride as he runs a hand through his hair. “I’m glad… I had a good time, too. You were amazing.”

Anaxa’s gaze is filled with doubt as he lifts his head. “Me?”

Phainon frowns at the doubt and wants to chase it away with a broom. “Who else if not you?”

Anaxa laughs softly. “You, of course.”

“Titans,” Phainon murmurs, his heart filling up with even more adoration. He closes the distance between them, easily meeting Anaxa’s playful gaze. One hand moves to tuck a lock of hair behind Anaxa’s ear and stays there, cradling Anaxa’s head. The older man leans into his warmth, his eyes fluttering close as he nuzzles in. “I like you so much, Anaxa.”

Anaxa is quiet for a while as his hand moves up to rest over Phainon’s hand. His eyes open slowly as he says, “you look like you’ve been holding back for a while now. Will you kiss me tonight or do I have to wait for the nex–”

Before Anaxa can finish his sentence, Phainon leans down, pressing warm, chapped lips to plush, cool ones. Phainon’s free hand goes to wrap around Anaxa’s small waist as they share their first kiss, soft and languid. After all, they have all the time in the world.

When they break apart, Anaxa murmurs, “it’s late and cold. Why not stay the night and head back tomorrow morning?”

Phainon gapes at him and his mind is reeling. “Are… you sure?”

Anaxa presses another kiss to Phainon’s cheek and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, stay the night, Phainon.”

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

The sound of a door slamming open startles Phainon awake, and the little intruder makes her presence known with her loud voice. “Mama! It’s pancake da–”

Her jaw drops at the sight of Anaxa not being the only occupant in bed, and Sage immediately whines. The warm body cuddled up in Phainon’s arms begins to stir and Phainon struggles to crack his eyes open. Anaxa presses himself closer to Phainon, burying his face into the crook of his neck as the younger man pulls him in. The room that was once dark has light pouring in from the opened bedroom door, and it takes another minute for the two of them to process what’s happening.

When it finally does, Phainon nearly panics and pushes Anaxa away so Sage doesn’t think he’s taking advantage of her father. But Anaxa stubbornly clings to Phainon as he rubs his eyes. His voice is laced with sleep as he asks, “Sage? Isn’t it still early?”

“Pancakes! I wanted pancakes… But why is Phaiphai… in mama’s bed…?”

“Ah, Sage, don’t disturb your–” The same sitter from two weeks ago is standing in the hallway to Anaxa’s bedroom and Phainon wants to curl up and die. So much for not being Anaxa’s boyfriend then. Their gazes meet and she awkwardly gives a small wave.

“Anaxa, I’m so sorry! She decided she wanted to wake you up for breakfast. I didn’t know you had a guest…”

This is rather mortifying, Phainon thinks. He can only thank their sane minds for choosing to go to sleep dressed and not naked. He can’t imagine getting caught by Sage with his ass out to the world. Mydei will laugh at him for the rest of their lives.

“No problem at all,” Anaxa says drowsily as he pushes himself up. Phainon watches as his hair spills down his back while the t-shirt isn’t able to properly hide a bruise near his nape. “We’ll be down in a bit, can you take Sage to have her breakfast first?”

For the first time, Phainon admires Anaxa’s capabilities to compose himself so quickly and professionally. It’s almost like he’s completely unfazed and this isn’t his first rodeo.

“O-of course! Sorry again! Come on, Sage, pancakes are almost ready.”

Only after the door closes shut behind them does Anaxa turn to look at Phainon, his cheeks bright red. “I’m so sorry–”

Phainon laughs out loud, running a hand through his hair to smooth down the ends. “It’s alright. Are you okay?”

Anaxa buries his face into his hands for a moment and Phainon can only watch with amusement. An arm goes around Anaxa’s shoulders and draws him in, and Anaxa goes rather willingly. “I didn’t think we’d get caught so soon.”

Phainon’s entire body rumbles with laughter at Anaxa’s comment. “Were you planning on having me climb out of the window?”

“...No, Sage has to go to her weekend class soon; the sitter usually takes her. I’m just…”

Phainon buries his face in Anaxa’s hair and takes in a slow breath, inhaling the faint scent of shampoo clinging to Anaxa’s hair. “Guess we’ll have to face the consequences now.”

Anaxa groans as he raises his head. “Are you sure?”

He shifts in Phainon’s arms and meets those beautiful blue eyes. Calloused hands tuck Anaxa’s hair behind his ears, which are hot and red from embarrassment. He laughs again, leaning down to kiss Anaxa on the cheek. “Anaxa, I’ve never been more sure of something in my life.”

They share a few slow morning kisses before Anaxa sighs. “I don’t want to get up.”

Phainon pinches Anaxa’s cheek and steals one last kiss. “Your kid will think I’m hoarding all your time and start to get mad at me again.”

“...Right.” Anaxa throws himself off Phainon’s lap to get off the bed and stretch. Phainon watches respectfully before he also gets up and they squeeze through Anaxa’s bathroom door to wash up. It takes them a while because Anaxa keeps distracting Phainon and he is a man that’s very hard to resist.

By the time they’re both presentable and downstairs, Sage is already on her third pancake and there’s honey drizzled on the table. Sage harrumphs before stuffing another piece of pancake into her mouth to chew.

“Big sis made many pancakes, mama, Phaiphai.”

Phainon exchanges a look with Anaxa and gets a nod of approval from the older man to sit at the dining table. Anaxa is the one who goes to prepare coffee for the both of them and strikes up a conversation with his sitter, mostly to apologise for not informing her about a guest staying over and checking in with her on Sage’s schedule.

An awkward tension hangs between Phainon and Sage, and it’s almost hilarious. He is a grown man in his twenties and he is stumped by a five-year-old who has a say in the decisions her father makes. Eventually, she swallows her pancake and takes a sip of her milk before she says, “Phaiphai’s not going to steal mama from Sage, right?”

“Of course not,” Phainon reassures, leaning closer to her so he can pinch her cheek as well. “I promised you that you’ll always be your mama’s number one. I’m just someone who wants your mama to be happy.”

Sage no longer looks like she’s on the verge of tears and she wiggles in her seat after whining about Phainon’s pinching. “Okay… Phaiphai can’t hurt mama, or… or…”

“Or what?” He teases, poking her cheek. Relief floods through Phainon’s being as he takes the time to understand Sage’s words. Her approval means more than anything else to Phainon, and knowing that Sage is willing to offer an olive branch is enough for him.

“I’ll stomp on your feet!”

Anaxa is standing by Phainon’s side with two cups of coffee and laughs when he hears his daughter’s words. The sitter has already gone back outside to prepare for Sage’s day. “Don’t worry, Sage. If he does anything, there will be Auntie Hyacine too.”

Phainon gapes like a goldfish at Anaxa, feeling betrayal bleed into him. “Am I already thrown into the dog house so soon?”

Anaxa grins, he actually grins, and leans down to kiss Phainon’s cheek. “No, but take it as a warning because Sage and Hyacine are very close.”

Phainon clutches his heart as Anaxa places the two mugs down on the table and whines. “I would never do that. I like your mama far too much to do such a cruel thing.”

Sage doesn’t look like she believes his words, but she shrugs. “Bring Snowy over today, Phaiphai! I want to play with Snowy!”

He exchanges a look with Anaxa to ask for permission, and Anaxa only shrugs. “Sure. But until you come home from class, I’m hoarding all of Phainon’s time. So you’ll have to be patient.”

Sage gasps, shocked by her father’s audacity.

“Sage, it’s time to go!” The sitter calls from the front of the house. Sage wiggles in her seat, wrinkling up her nose. Anaxa helps to wipe Sage’s face before lifting her up from her seat. He presses a kiss to her cheek and she giggles while throwing herself at her father. “I love you, Sage. No one will ever take your place, okay? Mama just wants to include Phainon in there if possible.”

Sage throws a feeble glare in Phainon’s direction, and the man can only hold his hands up like a criminal caught at the scene of the crime. They have a mini staredown that makes Phainon sweat, but Sage eventually caves. “Okay, mama.”

“Thank you, baby.”

He eventually settles Sage down so she can go get ready for school. Anaxa sighs as he sits down next to Phainon and rests his head on his shoulder. Phainon wraps an arm around Anaxa’s shoulder to squeeze lightly and says, “guess that’s what we’ll have to deal with now, huh?”

Anaxa huffs a soft laugh. “It’ll be worth it. She’s a sweetheart, I promise.”

“I know,” Phainon murmurs, pressing his lips to Anaxa’s temple. “You raised her, after all.”

There’s affection in Anaxa’s eyes when their gazes meet and he can’t help but lean upwards to kiss Phainon on the mouth. It’s soft and brief, a little ‘thank you’ conveyed through the soft kiss, and Phainon’s hold on him tightens protectively.

As they pull away, they hear a loud cry from the living room, where Sage is standing with two hands over her eyes. The sitter is standing behind her with an exasperated smile as she shakes her head at the kid. “No kissing mama in front of Sage!!”

The laughter that escapes Phainon is loud and warm as he holds Anaxa even closer to him. In return, Anaxa rests a hand on his thigh, and looks at Sage. “Alright, not in front of Sage, then.”

Sage drops her hands and pouts at the two adults in the kitchen. “Mama can’t kiss Phaiphai in front of Sage, too!”

The two men can’t help chuckling and nod in agreement. “Alright, alright. No kisses in front of Sage. Now go have a good day at class, Sage.”

Sage stares at them for another second, then reluctantly follows behind her sitter to head off to class. “Bye mama, bye Phaiphai!”

Phainon waves goodbye and feels a strange sense of familiarity wash through him. He feels like he’s a child back home in Aedes Elysiae again, but he was in Sage’s shoes and he was telling his parents goodbye as he headed out.

It’s funny how the world works sometimes. He never expected to be somewhat involved in a kid’s life this young, but when he has someone he really likes and cares for, Phainon thinks the world just works in a miraculous way.

Once the door clicks shut behind Sage, Anaxa twists in his seat and climbs onto Phainon’s lap. “Now, she said no kissing in front of her, but now that she’s gone…”

Phainon holds Anaxa’s slender waist in disbelief as he says, “are you not going to even wait for a bit, in case she forgets something–”

“No,” Anaxa murmurs, pressing a kiss to Phainon’s cheek. “I think I’ve waited long enough.”

Phainon barely gets a laugh out before Anaxa is claiming his lips in a soft, warm kiss that’s filled with enough affection to power through their next few generations.

It’ll take a while for him to properly get Sage to warm up to him, but for now, Phainon is content with just making out with Anaxa in his lap. The rest will be for the future Phainon to figure it out.