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Riley felt like crying when she felt the grass underneath her now plush feet. It didn’t really hit her that she was free when she first got into their car nor when the warmth of the happy meal was in her lap. (She had to be really still through the drive-through so she wouldn’t alarm the staff inside the fast food restaurant.)
But now, it finally hit her.
She practically launched herself onto the ground and started to make snow—well—grass angels in the green lawn. The sun had already set below the horizon yet the orange light persisted enough to let her see her purple fur against the scratchy green grass.
And that orangey sunlight cast a warm glow on the janitor’s house. And...it wasn’t what she expected. It was huge like the kind of house in one of those princess movies she watched as a child. It almost didn’t feel real yet the lush earth beneath her reminded her that she was there— it was all real.
“Are you alright, Riley? Ready to eat?” The janitor called out to her
“Uh Huh,” Riley pushed herself to say.
Her throat still refused to cooperate with her even when she let out the smallest of words or phrases. Her new body, unlike her original one, did not allow her to communicate freely. She had to physically push past her limits to allow her mouth to form words despite the two sharp rows of teeth they forced upon her.
It would make explaining everything to the janitor a chore for her.
But hopefully she could come up with an idea on how to deal with that after she ate.
It had been so long since she had eaten actual food that wasn’t forced down her throat (she couldn’t eat that cursed meat—they were like her—she’s not a monster!) or the glorified slurry that they fed to all of the toys like her to barely keep them alive.
She sat up and pushed herself into standing, expecting that the janitor was waiting for her at the front door. Yet when Riley looked up, her savior was still there, just a few feet away from her with two bags of food in one arm and two drinks in a cardboard holder in their other hand.
Riley was taken aback.
It had been so long since anyone had simply waited for her. Maybe back at the playcare, the caretakers waited for her to finish up, but they always did it with a complaint under their voice. Except the teachers—however, she was sure now that it was because Miss Delight, every single one of them, was an experiment.
Riley stumbled forward towards them until she was standing right next to them.
“You can play outside after you eat if you want. I just don’t want the food to get cold,” the janitor said.
Again, Riley felt something twist inside her at their words as they started to walk together towards the front door. It had been so long—so long since she felt normal.
Since she felt like—
*
“Riley! Ri—Lee!” She struggled to say past her teeth, her words ending in mumbles that she could barely hear over Ms. Gracie’s unrepentant instructions. Another electric shock rushed through her when the screen switched to the square block right as she placed the triangle in from the previous order.
“Experiment 1351.” A voice echoed over the intercom, muffling the countdown on the television screen. They couldn’t be talking to her. They couldn’t—she’s not a number! She is not an experiment! “You should know better to realize that you are a toy. You’re not some little girl.” Then, a chuckle rumbled over the speaker. “At least, not anymore.“
Riley clutched at her face, the velcro pads on the paws grabbing at her face in harsh tugs. Red gas began to spill into the room like those certain nights back in Playcare. She still felt the same fear of the gas even worse than before because she could not feel the warmth of her skin anymore.
All she felt was the unfamiliar fur that encased her soul.
Everything felt wrong.
Her eyes slowly began to close as her thoughts started to rush around her. ‘I am not a toy! I AM RILEY! Doctor White, you lied to me! You told me I was chosen! Why? Why?! Why would you ever choose me for this? Why would you do this to anyone? I AM RILEY! RILEY!’
*
“Riley?” She snapped back to attention to see the janitor placing the food on the kitchen island counter. There were two bar seats along the outside of the counter. Around the counter, the kitchen laid in wait with all of the wooden cabinets and drawers with a blue fridge, red microwave and a gas stove.
The janitor gestured to her to come further inside the house. “Come on in, the bugs might get in.”
She nodded, letting the tension in her shoulders smooth out as she turned around and shut the front door behind her. She heard the rustling of the bags before the janitor said, “I’ll set up some fold up tables into the living room. I’m sure you want some entertainment with your food.” She looked over at the worker who took the moment to smile at her reassuringly. “I know I do!”
Riley numbly nodded, awkwardly rubbing her arm and trying to find comfort in her fur despite the ache for her skin. She had begun to forget what her old skin even felt like or looked like. Did she have freckles on her arm? There must have been hair in her arms but what color? It wasn’t purple, that’s what she knew.
God, what did she even look like? Did she look more like her mother or father? What—what did they look like again?
Riley shook her head to get rid of the depressing thoughts. She shuffled her way into the house and looked around the surroundings.
The kitchen was to her left and a living room was to her right. And right in front of her was a hallway with two doors on one side and stairway leading up to the second floor.
The living room was what drew her attention the most. Maybe it was due to the massive tassel rug laid on the carpeted floor. The dark red carpet contrasted with the dark purple rug especially with the little tassels on each edge. The large L-shaped couch was a nice muted green with throw pillows and a crumpled up blanket on one of the cushions. And in front of the couch was an oval wooden table with a few magazines slapped on the top.
Behind the couch, two bookshelves were filled with books and there was a section of open shelves between it. On the open shelves, she could spot little knickknacks and other things. A trophy of some kind from the janitor’s childhood. A high school degree framed proudly in the middle. A chipped mug with paper flowers meticulously arranged inside it. A framed vacation photo with the janitor in the middle of an older couple that she can only assume was their parents.
She could spot two TV dinner tables leaning against the wall with the television. The TV stood on its stand with a small dvd collection on the shelves underneath. The physical collection continued on another bookshelf against that wall.
“Do you like it?” The janitor asked, gesturing to the place around them. Riley nodded. She wasn’t lying, it looked pretty cozy inside especially with all the colors. “Cool. I haven’t changed much since I inherited it from my grandpa.“
Riley took the moment to grab onto the tables and place them by the couch to help her savior. She would deny that she ever felt a flutter of warmth at their appreciative words.
Then, she finally got to eat her happy meal. The soda bubbled down her throat with every sip she took between bites of her nuggets. Riley watched the television screen as she ate, relaxing back into the cushions once the janitor found a channel that was playing Mrs. Doubtfire.
After she ate, she relaxed for a moment to take it all in for herself. She hugged one of the decorative pillows to herself.
She should... she should tell them. They wouldn’t know how bad things are. Maybe since they helped her escape... they could do more to rescue everyone.
She had to tell them.
“I. Nee—.” She cursed the scientist who forced her mouth and throat to work like this. She mumbled, “Ta-alk.”
The janitor sat there staring until they replied, “You need to talk to me?”
Riley nodded. Then, she tried to begin from the day she arrived at playcare but she only managed to push out two words before holding her throat in pain.
“Are you alright?” The janitor asked. Riley looked down and rubbed her back with her paw. Her savior watched her then held up a hand. “You know what? Wait here. Let me find something.”
The janitor got up and left towards the hallway. It didn’t take long for them to come back with a notebook and a pen with a fluffy puff at the end of it.
“Here you go.” They held it all out to her which she gladly took from their hands. “You can write down what you need to tell me if you can. Unless you prefer to type it out?”
Riley shook her head, clutching the notebook to herself until the janitor finally relented and sat back down with ease. They didn’t push her any further and just focused their attention on the television.
...
It was a struggle.
Of course it was. It had seemed so long since she had these paws yet she never got to practice writing with them. Down in the prison, they wouldn’t allow such a thing. The only thing they allow for entertainment is when they force toys to fight each other—kill each other, just so the guards could be entertained by their desperation.
It was slow, but she did her best to write down each word as legible as she could as the janitor waited. Now and then, she would get lost in the movie along with the janitor before turning her attention back on the notebook paper.
Riley wrote about how she lost her parents in a fire. How she felt isolated in the playcare. How hopeful she felt when she was ‘chosen’.
Then, she began to write about all of the events that happened afterwards. The horrifying realization of waking up in a furry toy body. The memories of being cut open and her organs removed one by one. The terrible isolation in the cells. The fights where toys like her fought against each other for scraps of food while the guards laughed above their head. The games and shows with Ms. Gracie that made her brain feel like it was melting inside her head.
All of it.
When she felt like she had written enough, she was instantly reminded of another instance that made her tremble in her seat.
Before she knew it, the movie was coming to an end and she had filled out pages of the notebook. It felt good to write about it. That’s what sucks. Even though doctor white had made her into his, she was still using his advice of writing down her thoughts on paper to feel better. It sucked that it lifted a weight off her chest.
She hated the fact that it felt just like when she had her diary. The comforting feeling she had when she finally got to write again. She hated it.
Why? Why did they do this to her? What did any of them do to deserve this?
“Riley?” She looked up to her savior who was now watching her with a curious look. With a deep breath, she handed over her notebook without hesitation. Since they already got involved, it would be best for them to know all of the details of what he just dipped their toe into. “Oh, you’re finished? Would you like me to read it now?”
Riley nodded, looking away from their gaze as her savior started to look over her notes silently. She patiently waited for them to read, keeping her gaze flickering between the screen playing a movie she hadn't seen before to the drastically changing janitor’s expression.
First, it started off as a calm expression as their eyes traveled over her words. Yet the further they read, the more horrified they looked.
“Oh god...” they muttered.
Riley closed her eyes and curled up into herself on the couch. She folded her legs and hugged them to her chest as they started to mumble to themselves. She could hear their voices choke up as they mumbled, “You were... I can’t believe it...”
As soon as they finished her written account, they slowly leaned back into the couch cushions with tears forming in the corner of their eyes.
“Why? Why would they do that to you?“ They whispered. Their voices are barely above the television’s volume. “They’ve been doing all of this to orphans?! How?! How could they even sleep at night when they—“
Maybe it was due to how tense she was because when they looked over to her in their anger, their expression softened. They took a moment to breathe and wipe at their face.
“Hold on, honey.” The term of endearment made her heart feel warm. “I’m sorry for raising my voice like that, Riley. I just—the fact you had to go through all of that is terrible.”
There was a moment of silence between them before Riley took the moment to stretch out her hand to the pen she left by her side. The janitor noticed and flipped the notebook for her to write on a new white page.
She took her time to write, ‘It’s better. Gentle voices lie.’
“I—“ They nearly got upset again just because of the words she put down. Yet they forced their anger down to ask almost desperately, “Riley, how many children are like you? How many are stuck in there like you? I remember some of them crawling through vents.“ Then, their eyes widened. “I totally saw Huggy Wuggy look at me! I wasn’t crazy!”
Riley stifled a laugh that escaped past her stretched lips. The pen flowed nicely on the notebook paper. ‘There are a lot of us. I’m not sure how many.’
“I just—you didn’t deserve that. None of you deserve to have that happen to you.” Her savior sighed heavily. She pulled her notebook closer as the janitor leaned over with their arms on their legs. “If only— if only I can do more.”
Riley watched them in anticipation. They could! Why couldn’t they see that? Their house looked big enough. Maybe they couldn’t afford food for all of them— but they could hunt! They could prosper!
They could as long as they had the chance. Riley steeled herself as she painted the notebook with words. ‘You helped me escape. You can help others, can’t you?’
The janitor looked down at the paper in confusion. “Could I? Yeah... Yeah!”
They got a second wind, shooting up to their feet. Their expression was filled with determination.
“I can! I—I might have to make some room in here to fit everyone inside. Maybe I can finally use the empty barn out back.” There’s a barn?! Wow, she really needed to explore. “Okay. I can’t get ahead of myself—“
The janitor dragged their hands down their face. Their once tired eyes held a new spark to them that she couldn’t describe yet there was a new type of tired sadness around the corners. Then, they clapped their hands together in a sharp smack that made her straighten up in surprise.
“We can plan out how to handle the factory and all of the children a little later when we are both rested. For now, let’s focus on getting you all cleaned up and ready for bed.” The janitor responded. “Come on, Riley, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.“
The bathroom was simple. White tiles with some of them having little flowers or vines on them. It had a fluffy thing on the top of the toilet seat with a basket of toilet paper on the tank. It had a sink right next to the toilet with both hand soap and bar soap on one side and a purple toothbrush prepared with a mini bottle of toothpaste. There was also a claw foot bathtub across from the toilet and sink with a curtain hiding part of it.
Once she heard the toothbrush was hers, she took the opportunity to scrub at her teeth. Her savior took a moment to wipe down the gash she got on her arm, wiping the blood from her purple-pink fur and wrapped it in cloth. Then, the janitor prepared a washcloth for her to wash away the dirt from the rest of her. Once she was done cleaning herself up, she left the bathroom and saw the janitor waiting for her in the hallway looking away from her.
Once they heard her steps, they turned around with a hum. “You’re done?”
“Hm,” Riley responded.
“Alright. Do you need any pajamas? They might be a bit big on you. Well, they will be bigger on you.” They offered. She shook her head, she didn’t have any use for that now. “No? Okay. Can you go sit down back on the couch? I’ll set up a space for you to sleep.”
They disappeared down the hallway with their footsteps echoing down as they hopped up the steps of the stairwell. Riley waited, swinging her legs off the couch as she watched the movie on the television. It was a good enough movie even though she wasn’t paying that much attention. Mutant turtles becoming ninjas when they are teens was pretty interesting.
“Riley?” She snapped her head up to the janitor who was waiting awkwardly at the other side of the couch. “It’s ready.”
She got up and walked up to her savior who simply walked over to one of the doors near the stairs. The door was open leading into a guest room where a single bed, dresser, and small bookshelf nightstand was inside. The furniture was simple yet her attention was drawn to the bed which had multiple colorful things piled up on the floral comforter. There were several pillows with decorative pillows pushed to the side and a light brown teddy bear leaning against the headboard.
“It’s not much. But it has a bed! And I brought out my mom’s old quilt for some extra comfort. I tried to get some extra pillows for you as you can probably see. And—a teddy bear!” The janitor introduced it all, gesturing with a happy smile towards the simple stuffed animal that held no resemblance to the toys she was used to seeing at the company. “Is this okay?”
Okay?...
This was much more than okay.
This was...
“Woah, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Oh. She was crying? No, that does not matter now. Riley wiped at her furry face and reached for her savior. She wrapped her arms around them while pressing her face against their chest to hear their heartbeat.
There was a moment of silence between them. She almost pulled away until the janitor’s arms finally wrapped around her back and one hand smoothed the fur on her head. “It’s okay, Riley. You’re safe now.”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you again.” Her savior reassured.
God, please don’t let this be a dream. Please don’t let her wake up back in her cell. She wants this to be real so badly. This familial warmth. The calming scent of lavender inside the room. The comfortable looking bed that wasn’t anything like the cold, concrete floor of the prison cell. Please, let this be real.
If it wasn’t, she doesn’t know what she will do when she wakes up from this paradise.
Riley yawned which let out a small screech if she could even call it that. Either way, the motion or sound drew the janitor’s attention to her. “You’re tired?” She nodded softly which made the janitor chuckle. “Alright, climb on into the bed then and I’ll tuck you in.”
When was the last time she got that treatment? It must have been years. Her parents stopped doing that when she was old enough to sleep on her own without panicking.
She hurriedly jumped onto the bed and pulled the blankets over her, snuggling into the pillows and grabbing onto the teddy bear once she was settled. Her savior watched her warmly before coming over and tucking the blankets gently at her sides. “Does it feel okay under there? Not too warm?”
She shook her head. Her savior said, “Good.”
“Well, it’s time for me to head to bed too. I’ll leave the bathroom light on and leave the door open a bit so it won’t be too dark over here,” the janitor sighed. They gazed down at her gently with a smile. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
They slowly made their way to the door before Riley made a noise which caused them to pause in their tracks.
“Night...night,” Riley mumbled.
Her savior grinned then waved before exiting the room. She could hear them turning off the television and shuffling around things. Things like that would have made her focus on every sound once a worker was out of sight. But this time, she knew she wasn’t going to be hurt.
Then, for the first time in months, she felt safe in the darkness.