Chapter Text
Neteyam was going to have a good day. He’s been telling himself that everyday now since summer ended.
It’s been 2 months since school started, and Neteyam was feeling great. He woke up at his usual time-- six in the morning. The bathbomb he bought a week ago was long gone, infused bergamot and patchouli radiating off his glowing skin. The big J, his father, had cooked pancakes-- which Neteyam drenched gleefully in syrup.
And even now, Neteyam stood in front of the bathroom mirror, admiring his fit. It was very casual and just right for a regular school day-- he wore a baggy graphic tee over a long sleeve white shirt. His father’s mahogany belt held up his washed out jeans. The cherry on top was definitely his jewelry. His jangly golden hair charms and bracelets complimented his darker complexion. His mother’s neckpiece fit comfortably around him.
Outside of his protective bubble of a bathroom, the everyday commotion in the Sully family continued.
“Neteyammm!” Lo’ak’s shriek pierced through every wall of the house. Neteyam guessed he was throwing clothes into piles. “Is my compression shirt in the laundry? You know I prefer it on days that I shift!”
Kiri creaked the bathroom door open, holding up two bottles. “Be honest, do you like lavender or pine more on me? Like, which one suits me better? Which one screams, ‘I love nature and cats and trees and wildlife’?”
Neteyam didn’t get to respond, as Tuk slammed into Kiri, lurching her forward. “Morning, Teyam!” She giggled. In her left hand clutched a pancake stabbed fork. Syrup ran down her chin. “Did you put my folder into my backpack? Mom wanted me to ask just in case.”
Kiri shot Tuk a look. Downstairs, Neytiri growled in warning. “I told you not to run with a fork, Tuk!”
Neteyam only smiled at the two. “Pine, Kiri. It’s always pine. And yes Tuk, I did.”
The two hurriedly rushed out after getting an answer. The Sully’s were never late to school, courtesy to their hastiness.
Neteyam watched the two departure before brushing his hands on his jeans.
“Check behind your door!” He called out towards Loak's room. He knew Lo’ak’s shirt was probably hanging sadly on the door hanger.
As he descended downstairs, he got a small ‘thanks bro!’ back.
As always, Neteyam knew everything about his siblings. He knew their favorites, their fears, their icks. He knew the look on their face when they needed comfort and the tone of their voices when they wanted to be left alone. He knew which look meant I’m homesick and which one meant your food sucks, never cook again Neteyam.
So, yeah, he was going to have a good day.
Outside, Jake beeped the horn of his car. He was sitting in their family’s car, waiting to take the older kids to school. “C’mon, kids!”
Neteyam grabbed his backpack from the kitchen island table, kissing his mother’s forehead. “Love you, ma.”
His siblings followed suit, and the three of them shuffled into the car. Obviously, Neteyam took the passengers.
“Planning to shift today, Lo’ak?” His father questioned.
“Yea.” Lo’ak’s eyes didn’t leave his phone. “My old Omatikayan friends are coming to visit. We’re gonna hang out in the forest after school.”
“Lo’ak, you didn’t tell me this!” Kiri whined. “I want to come. Take me with you.”
“No! Do you have selective hearing? I’m hanging out with my friends.”
“I don’t care! I’ll stay out of your way, I promise. I haven’t been to the forest in sooo long. All I see here is sand, water, and palm!”
“Lo’ak,” His father warned. “Take Kiri with you. And Kiri, don’t venture too far and get lost.”
Lo’ak groaned dramatically in annoyance. “Great, now I have to babysit you.”
“Um, who's babysitting who?” Kiri sneered. “Back at home, you were the one getting injured, jumping off trees like you could fly. Last time I checked, we’re cats not birds!”
“That was one time!” Lo’ak squawked. “And besides, you always get lost! Remember that time we…”
Neteyam and his father shared a knowing look. The two always acted like stray cats. Neteyam couldn’t tell if they were being difficult on purpose; was this their way of showing they loved each other?
“So,” Jake started. “How’s school here so far? Made any friends?”
“Plenty.” Neteyam simply shrugged. He had a lot of friends in his science classes, clubs, plus a couple others in track and hurdling. He had Tsireya, Rotxo, and maybe Aonung.
“Thats good.” An awkward pause. “What about Tonowari’s boy? And their girl?”
Neteyam felt his breath hitch in his throat. He huffed a big breath of air. “Well…”
“Hm?” Jake tried to shoot his son a questionable look, but snapped his eyes back on the road when he almost hit a car.
“Me and Aonung aren’t necessarily talking.” Neteyam played with his neckpiece. “It was just a summer thing.”
“Huh.” Jake replied. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know. We just don’t hang out anymore. Might be school stress or something.”
“Oh.”
“Yea.”
“Well,” Jake pulled up into a parking spot. Students swarmed the sidewalks leading towards the school. Neteyam recognized a few faces amongst the crowd. “You’ll find your person, Teyam. I promise.”
His father smiled at him. Neteyam shyly smiled back. He felt a little guilty for not telling his father the full story.
“Alright!” Jake slapped his steering wheel with both hands, smiling. “Have a good day at school, kids!”
“Bye dad, love you!” Kiri sprinted out as soon as the door opened.
“Bye sir!” Lo’ak also sprinted out, but in an opposite direction from Kiri. He probably spotted Tsireya in the crowd.
Neteyam sighed at the sight. His siblings were way more similar than they could imagine. “See you, sir. Love you.”
His father waved him goodbye and started backing out. Walking up the front stairs, he navigated through different groups of students. He passed by some classmates who waved him hi, and had small talk with a group of friends from track.
Nobody lingered long enough to accompany him to his locker. Nevertheless, he made it over to his locker, entering the combination, and grabbed a few textbooks out of his hand.
He paid no mind to the fact that he stood alone in contrast to the groups of teens around him. He paid no mind that Aonung’s name had been brought up in conversation, and thus, clouded his mind. He paid no mind to the feeling of loneliness and heavy desire that crept into his thoughts like a leopard.
Just as he was about to head towards his class, a couple of laughs sounded out in the distance. Neteyam didn’t need to look to know whose group it was from. His heart betrayed him, leaping out of his chest by voice alone. Neteyam’s enemy, his nemesis, his parallel. And worst of all, his crush.
Neteyam could admit it. Shamefully, embarrassingly-- yes, but he could admit that he was infatuated with something the boy had.
“You should’ve seen her face!” Koro slapped Aonung’s back, causing the other to grunt.
“Damn bro,” Nashvi smirked. “Listen, if you don’t want ‘em, send them over to me.”
“Guys, it’s whatever.” Aonung's voice was calmer and less excited than Neteyam imagined. “What’s the big deal?”
The Sully’s had moved to Awa’atlu city at the beginning of summer break. It’d be good for us. His father had said. For our family.
The Omatikayans were a descendant of a cat family, giving each newborn the ability to shapeshift into a cat. But his father’s presence in the clan brought researchers-- Na’vi’s who attempted to experiment and ‘fix’ their ability.
So they moved. Their parents gave them a stern talk about Awa’atlu, being here meant hiding their cat forms.
Neteyam missed everything about his home city; the bristles and trees, his old friends, his house. He missed climbing trees with his siblings and napping in the shade with his parents. It left a cave in his heart, one that continues to ache months after the move.
Their summer started out slow-- moving and settling in took a couple of weeks. Then, they familiarized themselves with Awa’atlu; exploring beaches, finding new favorite restaurants, and meeting neighbors. One of those neighbors just so happened to be an old accomplice of Jake’s.
How lucky Neteyam was to get to meet Aonung. Tonowari invited the Sully’s over for dinner one hot summer night. Neteyam and his siblings were introduced to Aonung, Tsireya, and their childhood friend Rotxo. The six of them hit it off right away.
They spent the days cannonballing off cliffs, exploring jagged caves, and hanging out at each other’s houses. They would enjoy tired, speechless meals in 24 hour diners and early morning fishing trips. If a Sully was gone, Neytiri and Jake were 99% sure they’d be with the other family, and vice versa.
Surprisingly, Lo’ak and Kiri loved everything about Awa’atlu. Although they missed home sometimes, they loved their new friends, the ocean, and the city. Unlike his siblings, Neteyam struggled. He missed his friends back home. It was in his feline nature to avoid water. The city was great, sure, but nothing could compare to the calm of the forest.
Not feeling it? Aonung had approached Neteyam, who was observing the ocean from the land, holding out a bottle of water.
Not at all. Neteyam thanked him. He gazed towards the sunset, deep in thought. Me and water, I guess we don’t clash.
I see. Aonung sat awfully close to him. Neteyam could recall him smelling of saltwater and ocean breeze. His muscles were defined under his wetsuit, his hair dripping. Here, maybe this will help.
Aonung reached for his burlap sack, pulling out a shark tooth necklace. Neteyam gasped. He traced his fingers along the defined ridges along the edge of the tooth. A golden coil wrapped around its base. The string it was attached to had an assortment of shell, wood, and metallic beads. Aonung let the tooth dangle with both hands, gesturing for Neteyam to lower his head.
It's beautiful. Why are you giving it to me? He pushed Aonung’s waiting hands away.
Why not? Aonung had begged with a playful smirk. When I was 11, I was scared of the water, too. Until I found this tooth washed up on shore. I carried it everywhere. Told people I fought a shark for its tooth and left unscathed.
Pffft, Neteyam propped his head up with his hand, giggling sleepily. Weren’t you mighty?
Later, my father told me it came from a Great White. Aonung’s hands cupped Neteyam’s, dangling the necklace into it. And I grew up, I guess. The silly little fantasy where I fight a shark disappeared. The reality was, I found a tooth of a shark that doesn’t even inhabit these waters. The sea is vast and incredibly mysterious.
A Great White… Neteyam echoed. The current carried his words towards the sea. His beads jingled with each other, the waves crashed rhythmically below them. Wow. They’re basically across the world.
Yea. Aonung’s gaze softened, his stare fixed on the necklace. I guess what I’m trying to get at is… I have a feeling it’s not only the ocean you’re having trouble with.
He paused, eyes meeting Neteyam’s. My reality changed. But I found something special out of it.
Neteyam was quiet. Looking back on it, this was probably when his admiration first started. Aonung wasn’t just some naive, athletic boy his age. Neteyam barely meets anyone who can read him like that.
Take it. Aonung nodded towards the necklace, which was currently in Neteyam’s palms. I know a part of you will still yearn for your hometown. But give Awa’atlu a try. I promise, it’s worth it.
Neteyam simply smiled at him. Hmm. I'm not so sure yet…won’t some rowdy Metkayina teen teach me the ways of his people?
Then, I offer myself as a sacrifice. Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll pick you up. Aonung’s glowing smile shone orange in the setting sun. Neteyam couldn’t think of anything cuter.
So for a while, it was just the two of them. They explored the nearby forest, visited corner stores, and walked around town. They skipped rocks and dived for pretty sea shells. Neteyam even learnt to throw a net and shuck oysters. Aonung wore the necklace every hang out. By the fifth hang out, he stopped trying to give it to Neteyam.
Him and Aonung became practically inseparable. They always managed to gravitate towards each other during big family dinners. They found each other through thick crowds during summer festivals and in the middle of the night when they just couldn’t separate-- when they wanted more of each other.
And their skinmanship-- oh Eywa, Neteyam thought. Every touch seared him to the core. Aonung would most commonly grab Neteyam’s wrist. Neteyam allowed himself to be dragged around by the other. Neteyam liked to ‘accidentally’ brush their fingertips together. On one particular night, Aonung snuck into Neteyam’s room. They fell asleep in each other’s arms after a long night of talking. They exchanged shirts, pants, and sweaters-- shared cups and straws. He was certain that Aonung liked him in the same way, that he didn’t do all this with just anyone.
Aonung knew all about Neteyam. About his fears and insecurities, his favorite book, and his go-to snack. That Neteyam was expected to take care of his siblings' needs. That he liked hugs on particularly difficult days. That he gets talkative, way too talkative around the other. Neteyam almost told the other about his family’s secret cat form, but decided against it when his father shot him a suspicious look.
Neteyam often observed Aonung. He wanted to know what helped the other sleep at night; what swelled his chest with fear, what shook his fists in anger. He wanted to know all the little habits the other developed and to see all the obvious reactions he had. He wanted to witness the other hold his baby sister in those big, gentle arms.
He wanted to witness-- no, be the receiver of his love.
So on the final day of summer, the pair did something mundane-- something they always did. They sat on the beach with a couple of fruits and coconut water, watching the hazy sunset turn the pink and orange sky into a deep, dark blue. Silhouettes of birds flew in the distance, cawing as they flew into eternity.
Remember this? Aonung pulled out the shark necklace for the first time in weeks.
The Great White? Yea. Neteyam laid on the towel under them. I made up my mind. I don’t want to take something important from you. You earned that yourself.
Neteyam, Aonung leaned his head against his hand, his elbow propping his body up. His eyes softened as he smiled at the other. I want you to have it. Please.
But, why? Neteyam was puzzled.
Aonung thought for a second. You’re special to me.
Neteyam turned onto his side, facing the other. Aonung huddled closer, slipping an arm on Neteyam’s waist.
Okay. Neteyam softly muttered. He couldn’t stop smiling, a faint blush forming on his cheeks. You’re important to me too.
On the drive back, Aonung walked Neteyam to his door. He clutched the necklace, prepared to give it to the other before leaving. The sky was a light mix of pinks and blues as the stars began to reveal themselves. A slight breeze picked up, and Neteyam was still giddy about the moments they shared.
Neteyam gripped Aonung’s elbows, not wanting him to leave. Aonung noticed and shot him a quick smile. He let a hand fall on Neteyam’s waist.
He thought it was the right moment.
Thanks for everything. Neteyam pressed a gentle, slow kiss onto Aonung’s cheek, before retreating to catch Aonung’s reaction.
It wasn’t anything Neteyam had expected. Aonung looked confused, a little pokerfaced, and deflated, even. He immediately distanced himself from Neteyam, letting his hands hang by his hips.
Of course. Gotta go. Aonung had turned away, rushing back towards his car. See you at school.
Neteyam stood there. He continued to stand there even after Aonung drove off. He stood until his father pulled into their driveway with groceries.
He just got… rejected? Why did he do that? He felt so humiliated. So ashamed. So utterly embarrassed. In the end, he entered his room, alone-- the person he looked forward to seeing next week was gone.
The first day of school only made Neteyam want to crawl into a hole. The six of them tried to hang out as usual; they occasionally spent lunch together and even met up after school. Aonung acted normal, but Neteyam could sense the unspoken tension. After the six of them became busy with their individual activities, Aonung never sought the other out again.
That was it, Neteyam guessed. He ruined the best friendship he had in Awa’atlu. He’d never get to visit Aonung’s room again or steal his hoodie or drink his coffee. He’ll probably never see the other up close again.
Neteyam wept a lot over that.
By the first month, Neteyam was sick of feeling sick. That was when he decided he was going to have a good, maybe even a great day, everyday. He concentrated on archery, his favorite classes, math olympiad, track and hurdle. He became friends with his peers and tried liking boys he thought were cute. None of them had the charm that Aonung had.
Nevertheless, having a good day everyday was working. If he carried this out until his feelings disappeared, he’d be unstoppable. The happiest Na’vi on Pandora, even.
It was getting harder and harder pretending to have a good day.
“Ohhhhhh,” Koro’s high pitched cheer snapped Neteyam out of his thoughts. “Here comes a little bird!”
Koro slapped Aonung’s back again. The other muttered dude why do you keep doing that? under his breath.
Aonung cast a quick glance to the Na’vi Koro referred to. He flashed a quick smirk. “Now this one I like.”
Neteyam watched a smiley Metkayina girl approach him, her thick lashes fluttering as she glanced at Aonung. Neteyam watched how Aonung gently smiled at her, dragging an arm over her shoulder. Neteyam watched as they disappeared down the hallway, giggling and joking around with each other.
He was not having a good day. And it was only nine in the morning.
-.-.-.-.-
“Kiri gimme your fries.” Lo’ak used all three-fingers to shove five fries in his mouth. He reached towards Kiri’s lunch tray with the other hand. The cafeteria was as bustling as usual, filled to the brim with students. Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Kiri sat on a circle table off to the side.
“Stay away from my fries, freak!” Kiri slammed a hand on her tray, stopping its movement. “I think you’ve eaten enough. And stop talking while eating!”
“Who you calling a freak?” Lo’ak threw a puny fry at Kiri mid-chew. He almost spit his food out in excitement when Kiri caught the fry with her mouth.
Neteyam stabbed at his salad.
“Score!” Kiri chewed.
“Now who’s talking while eating?” Lo’ak took a big bite out of his burger.
“You are!” Kiri growled.
Neteyam had no appetite. If his siblings cared to look, they’d see Aonung two tables over with a girl leaning on his shoulder. The same girl from this morning, actually. Neteyam had seen her around the halls sometimes.
Since when did they hang out like that? Neteyam thought. It was supposed to be him.
Neteyam shook his head in surprise at his own thoughts -- why did that even cross his mind? She looked nice, and Aonung looked happy. That’s all he wanted, right?
Alright, he was feeling really shitty now, for being a horrible human being and for having a bad day. Neteyam clicked his tongue at his siblings, signaling towards the cafeteria exit. A look of understanding dawned on Lo’ak and Kiri’s face as they nodded and continued their play fight.
He casually slid off his seat, dumping his half-eaten lunch into the trash on the way out. Pushing the steel blue door open, he smiled to himself when warm light hit him in all the right ways. A calming breeze brushed his shoulders, intertwining into his hair and giving his breath life. The sun and wind never failed to make him feel better.
Neteyam made a beeline for the empty locker rooms. Distance shouts of kids and kicks rung in his ear as other students spend their lunch break playing ball. He located his locker and removed his clothes. Blinking slowly, he relaxed his entire body. Neteyam let the calm embrace him. He let himself be pried away from these uneasy emotions only a human could bear.
His ears twitched. His hair pricked up, only to droop down slowly. Glistening claws slowly retracted. When Neteyam opened his eyes again, the blurry reflection of an amber eyed cat peered back at him.
This was practically second nature to him.
He was a ferocious lion, leaping over bundles of Savanna grass. His privy paws ambushed insects; his presence leaving the scent of a bobcat in its wake. Neteyam was everything and anything a cat could be, conquering his high school’s outdoor field in ways he couldn’t express as a human.
After his play, Neteyam wanted to rest. Unlike the rest of the Sully cat family, who preferred to lounge around when the sun hit its peak, Neteyam enjoyed the cooling prickle of grass on his fur. He liked finding a crisp and jagged slab to curl up on. Luckily for him, a rock sitting by an outfield fence beckoned him over.
He lazily tucked his paws in, flicking his tail back and forth. With the yells and laughs of a distant soccer game, Neteyam closed his eyes and started to doze off.
It was way better being a carefree cat than Neteyam Sully.
Suddenly, his ears pricked. Multiple footsteps stomped over waning grass. He gradually felt the ground’s vibration shift as the group approached his rock.
“Woah,” a voice exclaimed. “Is that a Russian blue?”
“What’s a cat doing on school grounds?” Another question.
“Shii, who knows,” a final voice responded. “I just want to pet it.”
Neteyam remained in his loafed position but growled cautiously. He preferred being in cat-form alone, vulnerable, and in-tune with nature, but a few pets was something he could handle.
A tight grip snagged his tail. Neteyam’s body tensed, each fur standing on its end as his eyes bulged open. Pain blistered his backside, traveling in sharp pangs throughout his entire body as he was lifted higher and higher off the ground.
“Look at the fish I caught.” The voice swung Neteyam around, earning a sharp mouthful of cat cusses. “I guess what they say is true. Look at how it’s back arches.”
A few laughs sounded out, but Neteyam could barely hear them. He clawed the air, wiggling and grasping at anything that could free him. The world whirled around him in a haze. The zaps of pain were too much to handle, and he panicked in an attempt to find relief.
“Stop that.” Another voice, deeper this time.
Neteyam felt the swinging arm still.
“Or what?” His tormentor challenged.
Abruptly, the grip on his bruised tail loosened. Yelps and gasps clashed with the brutal smash of a fist into another’s face. Neteyam landed softly on his feet, peeking up towards the commotion.
“Fuck, dude!” Neteyam recognized the perpetrator. His classmate from math clutched a trembling hand to his nose, blood dripping down his chin. His friends huddled around his crumpled figure. “Okay, I’ll stop, geez. It’s not that deep.”
Neteyam’s eyes traveled upward towards his savior. If he could gasp in cat form, he would right then. Standing tall, with a clenched fist and a troubled expression, was Aonung. The sun cast its rays from behind him, illuminating his bulky silhouette and curled hair. Neteyam thought he looked like a character straight out of some superhero comic.
“Fuck off.” Aonung snarled, keeping his gaze on the boys as they sped off.
“Mroww…” Neteyam muttered, composing himself. He didn’t understand why he felt the need to look as nice and polite as possible. He was a cat, for crying out loud.
Aonung…
Aonung’s gaze softened as he glanced down towards the blue figure. “Hey kitty, you okay?”
Of course this fool would talk to a cat, Neteyam thought. He blushed as much as a cat possibly could, warmth swelling in his chest. Neteyam slowly approached Aonung, brushing his side onto Aonung’s leg. He purred when Aonung bent down, stroking his backside.
“Meowww!” Neteyam exclaimed.
I’m all good. Thanks for saving me!
“How cute.” Aonung sat on the grass, crossing his legs and leaning against the outfield fence. “Your fur is beautiful.”
“Hisssss.” Neteyam huffed. He mentally rolled his eyes.
I bet you tell all your other cats that.
Aonung continued to stroke his fur, scratching the space between Neteyam’s two ears. Neteyam rolled onto his back, exposing his lighter and fluffier belly.
“Awww, aren’t you adorable?” Aonung cooed before closing his eyes, sighing.
The storm from earlier calmed, leaving only the hushed whispers on the wind tingling Neteyam’s fur ears. It carried the sound of cascading grass and distant laughter with it. He propped himself back up, admiring Aonung. He had grown silent, napping peacefully. A pair of black headphones wrapped around his neck, and his tail halfheartedly flicked back and forth. He wore his signature bun, although it was messier now, with loose curly wisps floating in the wind.
He looked so peaceful, so simple in contrast to the torment he was unknowingly putting Neteyam through. He wanted so badly to peek into the other’s mind and see his thoughts. He wanted to know what the other thought last night, what warranted that reaction. What made him avoid Neteyam in the halls and ignore him during dinners.
Neteyam wanted them to happen so badly. He’s been wanting it since last summer. He still held out hope, even after knowing Aonung’s nature.
But, were they really nothing now?
“Grrrr….” Neteyam fussed, staring daggers at the other’s sleeping figure.
Why do you have to be so difficult?
He jumped at Aonung’s swishing tail, lightly gripping onto his sleek, glazed skin. He travelled up the tail, scaled his back, and perched on his shoulder. Snorting, Neteyam clenched a pawful of curls in his grasp before pulling hard.
“Ouch!” Aonung yelped tiredly. One eye peeked open towards Neteyam. “You’re playful.”
Extending his hands outwards, Aonung circled Neteyam loosely around the waist. His front paws were forced upright while his hind legs dangled slovenly underneath. Although Neteyam was a little weary after the previous event, he trusted Aonung with his life and knew the other wouldn’t harm him.
Aonung clutched Neteyam closer, cradling him in his arms. Neteyam more than happily pressed his side into Aonung’s chest, letting the undone strings of the other’s hoodie tickle his nose.
“Mm tired, kitty.” Aonung faced the sky. “Life is rough. Much better being a cat, hm?”
“Mrrrow.” Neteyam trilled, pawing at his sweater’s drawstrings.
Obviously. Tell me about it.
“Could I admit something?”
“Maow.” Neteyam licked Aonung’s fingers.
I’d listen to anything you say.
“You remind me of someone…confusing. When I saw them, I was happy, but it’s like, I was too happy. Don’t know what to make of it. I thought we were just friends.”
A pause.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. About them. I don’t know. I’ve been avoiding them, avoiding the topic of us.”
“Mrahh.”
Great. So you and that Metkayina girl?
“Why am I even talking to a cat?”
“Meow.” Neteyam stood on his hind legs, doing what he failed to convey as a human. He pressed his nose into Aonung’s cheek before nipping it lightly.
You’ll be fine. Everyone likes you. Or at least, they should.
“Gosh, you’re awfully talkative.” Aonung glanced down with a gentle smile. “Is it ‘cause you’re around me?”
Neteyam stared at him. He had never stopped staring at him. It’s always you, he thought.
“Man,” Aonung muttered. His eyes slacked in contemplation. He turned his gaze towards the field, tracing where the billowing clouds met the housetops. Neteyam could tell he was mentally elsewhere. “You really remind me of a certain Sully.”
Neteyam paused. That didn’t mean what he thought it meant, right? He didn’t want any false hope.
…Neteyam had always gotten too conversational around the other.
Neteyam’s eyes widened. His mouth twitched, his fur rose against his rigid body. Suddenly, everything clicked for him. He jumped out of Aonung’s arms, hunching his back.
Aonung wasn't talking about some other girl-- he was talking about Neteyam.
“...Kitty?” Aonung unfolded his empty arms. He tried to pet Neteyam, but the other lurched away with a hiss. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”
Just as he stood, a distant call drew their attention from each other.
“Aonung!” Rotxo was a small speck in the distance, waving in their direction. “Have you seen Neteyam?”
There was his chance. Neteyam booked it. What was once a ferocious lion was now a trotting gazelle, fearful of being eaten. He was a caterpillar, not yet with the courage to fly, hiding from pouncing paws. Was it safe for him to have hope?
Was it safe for him to assume that Aonung liked him?
“Hey, wait!” Aonung called out from behind him, but Neteyam didn’t bother to look back. He bolted through fields of grass, jumping over trash cans and fences, before finally wiggling through an open locker room window.
He slipped into an empty shower stall.
Silence stretched through the locker room.
Finally, Neteyam used the back of his hand to brush the shower curtain open. Stepping out, he grabbed a towel and secured it around his waist.
The locker room door urgently creaked open. Footsteps echoed towards him.
“Hey!” Aonung turned the corner. His eyes met Neteyam’s before travelling down to his half-naked body. He pressed a hand to his eyes. “Gosh, why are you naked?”
“I’m half-naked,” Neteyam corrected. He pushed down the nervous lump in his throat. This was their first conversation alone since summer. He strolled towards his locker casually, sorting through his clothes. “I took a shower. Was feeling sweaty after running.”
“...Right,” Aonung said slowly. “You’re not wet. And it’s hella dry in here.”
Neteyam only hummed in response. There was an elephant, or more accurately, an unaddressed cat in the room.
“Have you seen a cat here? A Russian blue with yellow eyes?” Aonung flopped onto a wooden bench, facing away from Neteyam.
“Mmm,” Neteyam pretended to think. “No. The only cat in here would be me.”
Aonung scoffed. “Sure. No, but seriously, you didn’t see a cat? It went in through the window near the showers. You should’ve at least heard it while drying up.”
Neteyam zipped his jeans up. Propping a hand against the wall for support, he slid his foot into his sneakers. “A Russian blue? The cat that reminded you of me?”
He glanced up at Aonung with a pokerface. The other sat frozen on the bench. Silence hung in the air.
“You…” Aonung’s voice was shaky. “You were spying on me?”
“No!” Neteyam groaned. “Idiot, I’m trying to tell you, I was the cat!”
“Yea, no.” Aonung finally turned to face him.
“Hello?!? Blue fur, amber eyes? Which Sully opens up way too much around you?”
Neteyam exploded. All the emotions he swallowed, the feelings he hid behind ‘having a good day’, all of it came pouring out. His fists clenched. His jaw tightened. His eyes burnt with feline rage.
“And I let you pet me! I let you cuddle me and I kissed you as if I still knew you. I let you talk to me about this ‘mysterious someone’ who troubled you. At first, I thought it was that Metkayina girl that you met with this morning. I felt so ashamed watching you and her, knowing what I did.
So, I thought ‘we’ as a concept was over, but then, you just had to say I reminded you of someone. Of a Sully sibling. When I thought, great, Neteyam. You’ll never be invited over to the Tonowari’s again. You just ruined your singular best summer and your singular best friendship. How stupid of you, Neteyam. Who’ll drive you around town and sneak you into their room now?
But the worst part is how much I still like you. How much I think about you everyday, how I fiend for your touch, your warmth, your gaze, your everything. I mourn you, and I cherish my memory of you every night when I go to sleep. Maybe seeing you at school everyday was what dragged me to sleep, I don’t know, but the worst part is even after you left me stranded, I still like you…”
Neteyam took a ragged, shallow breath. His bottom lip trembled. Shaky eyes traced Aonung’s face, before he opened his mouth once more.
“Do you…do you like me?”
The locker room grew quiet. The two stared at each other.
The door creaked open.
“Aonung!” Rotxo’s furious call snapped the both of them out of their staring contest. “Why’d you run off? I was asking for you…”
He turned the corner, accessing the situation. “Oh, hey Neteyam. There you are…should, should I leav-”
“Get out!” Aonung ushered Rotxo away while Neteyam practically lashed at him.
Eyes widened, Rotxo backed out, muttering. “Okay…okay, I’m leaving.”
Neteyam whipped around, face pressed against the cold metal of his locker. The emotions of his previous outburst had died, leaving him with this crippling feeling of embarrassment. Aonung had listened quietly without interruption, as if any wrong move would cause him to blow up like a land mine.
He pressed his eyes shut, blinking the tears away. Maybe if he’d just apologize now, Aonung would pity him enough to forgive him. Or he could promise to stay out of the other’s life forever. Neteyam knew he would break that promise fast.
Shit-- and now Aonung knows. Aonung knows what his father had always cautioned about. Nobody should know about the Sully family’s cat shifting ability. Neteyam might’ve just endangered his entire family. What if Aonung thought he was a freak?
Neteyam felt a tear drip down his cheek. He suddenly felt a tight grasp around his waist. Aonung had wrapped his arms around the other from behind, pressing his face into the nook in Neteyam’s shoulder.
Neteyam froze. He dared not to move, fearful this embrace would disappear as fast as it came. How long has he missed this feeling, how long has he craved this touch?
Neither of them talked. Minutes stretched out until Aonung mustered a whisper.
“I like you. I’ve liked you since I first met you. Gosh, Neteyam, why would I ever offer my favorite necklace to you after the first few weeks we met? Why would I barge into your life, drink your presence like a fountain, and take up your entire summer, if I didn’t want to be with you? I liked you enough to see you, I mean, truly see you. Every mannerism and every emotion that crosses or doesn’t cross your face, I see them. I see you.
It's just… I haven’t been exactly honest either. That necklace was from a Great White, but I didn’t find it washed up on the shore. Actually, I was in the middle of the ocean, deep underwater, away from any type of land or any type of human. I found it buried in some sand where the light barely reached.
Me and my family, we’re quite similar to you and yours. We’re shapeshifters. We’ve kept it hidden from everyone. Only our native clan knows, they share the same ability. Rotxo, too.
That day before you kissed me, my father could tell something was up with us. He gave me a talk. Neteyam, I’m not allowed to fall in love with you. He told me that day, in the future, I would marry someone in my clan.
When you kissed me, I felt so happy, yet so dreadful, so guilty. I just ran. Eywa, I didn’t know what to do with these feelings. I thought the best thing I can do is ignore you. Ignore these feelings that already threatened to spill.
But I just can’t help it. I stayed away from you at school because I was afraid that if I saw you, I’d give in. And you, you looked just fine without me. You looked great, even. I thought you were over it, over me. I wanted to be, too.”
Aonung’s grip tightened around the other. Neteyam leaned into his touch.
“I can’t.” Aonung’s voice was so soft and tender that it was barely audible. “I can’t stay away from you. I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Neteyam. Could I still be yours?”
Neteyam shifted in Aonung’s arms, facing him for the first time in what felt like eternity. Aonung face was scrunched in hurt, guilt, and sadness. His thick brows furrowed, the edge of his eyes crinkled.
Neteyam didn’t answer his question. He just reciprocated Aonung’s hug, squeezing the other’s torso as hard as he could.
“I missed you.”
-.-.-.-.-
“A seal…” Neteyam repeated in deep concentration, playing with Aonung’s fingers. He laid on the locker room bench, his head cushioned on Aonung’s leg. The bell had long rang, signaling the end of lunch, but neither cared.
Neteyam had never felt so happy.
“Mhm,” Aonung brushed a hair behind Neteyam’s ear with a dopey smile. “I’ll show you one day. Actually, how about tomorrow, after school? We can go to the beach like we always did.”
“You tryna take me out on a date?” Neteyam huffed.
“Maybe.” Aonung bent down and kissed the other’s forehead.
“Wait,” Neteyam paused, sitting up. “What about that girl you were with today?”
“...You were watching?” Aonung smiled hard. “You were watching me.”
“Not important. That girl.” Neteyam playfully glared at him.
“Shes a friend, I guess.” Aonung sighed. “I rejected her before, so she settled for friends. She is pretty nice.”
Neteyam frowned, still unhappy with his answer.
“But,” Aonung continued. “Lets just say, maybe I got too close with her to make a certain someone jealous. Just in case they were watching.”
Neteyam gasped. “You dare! Never do that again! That tormented me hard.”
“Now I don’t need to,” Aonung lifted Neteyam’s hand, pressing a quick kiss. “I tamed a cat that I wanted for a long time.”
“You’ve tamed me long ago.”
“Then, care to explain the many men around you? Like, that one boy from track, or your friend from math who was way to close to you that one time-”
“Aonung. I tried getting over you. It didn’t work, obviously.” Neteyam shot him a questionable look.
“I tried getting over you, too.” Aonung smirked. “What fools we are. Back in each other’s arms.”
Neteyam laughed. They sat in each other’s silence, coming to terms with their current reality.
“Kiss me,” Aonung asked. “One more time, on the cheek. I didn’t react properly the first time.”
Neteyam obliged. He pressed his lips delicately on the other. His lashes brushed Aonung’s cheek as he let his eyes fall closed. He opened his eyes to find the other staring at him.
“That’d be the third time I kissed you on the cheek.” Neteyam giggled. “Pay up, mister.”
“Oh yea, huh?” Aonung’s smile widened slowly. A glint of amusement and realization dawned on him. “So…when I was cuddling you in cat form, it was you who pressed your face into my chest and licked my fingers-”
“Shush!” Neteyam almost fainted on the spot, clamping a hand over Aonung’s mouth.
Aonung stuck out a tongue, pushing it against his fingers. The other shrieked and got up, using the bench as a divider. Aonung mischievously chased a wailing Neteyam around, tangling him into a hug.
Neteyam was going to have a good day, and this time, he wasn’t alone.