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2026-03-01
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Ssenmodnar: Valentine's Day Edition

Summary:

It's Valentine's Day, so Sheridan takes Beeg and Eggdog on an adventure

Notes:

I know it's late and I'm sorry

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Beeg: *sitting on the ground outside the castle* .... augh (I'm bored) *rolls off to find someone*

*all his friends are doing stuff*

Beeg: *angy* AUGH! (Seriously??)

*he spots Sheridan*

Beeg: ... augh (why not) *rolls over* augh!

Sheridan: *looks at him* Beeg?

Beeg: have you got games on your phone?

Sheridan: No.

Beeg: OH COME ON!

Sheridan: shouldn't you be with Three and Four? Or at least Eggdog and Terrance?

Beeg: augh (shouldn't you be with the villains?)

Sheridan: don't get smart with me young man

Beeg: augh? (Am I wrong?)

Sheridan: *rolls eyes* If you're gonna be a brat, *picks him up* you leave me no choice

Beeg: ??

Sheridan: FOUR I'M STEALING BEEG FOR A BIT!

SMG4: *off screen* DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!

Sheridan: Who do you think I am? Mario?

Mario: *from a bush* HEY!

Sheridan: *smirks and runs off with Beeg*

Beeg: *panicking*

Sheridan: now, let's see what everyone's up to on this Valentine's Day?

Beeg: *mental breakdown*

*woof woof*

Sheridan: hm? *looks behind him*

Eggdog: woof woof

Sheridan: you too huh?

Eggdog: woof

Sheridan: alright then, *picks him up* wonder how long it'll take for Three to notice you're gone?

 

*back at the castle*

 

*realization kicks in*

 

SMG3/SMG4: *in unison* AHHHH!! MY BOY!! *both take off after Sheridan*

Mario: *from the bush* Oh shit, here we go again!

 

SSENMODNAR: VALENTINE'S DAY EDITION!

 

**

 

Swag: *sees a button* ooh I wonder what this does! *presses the button* oh I'm gay now. ... huh.

 

**

 

Knuckles: I'm not gay, but damn, you're good looking bro

Sonic: you don't have to be gay to appreciate a man's beauty!

Knuckles: nah bro, I'd fuck you

Sonic: Okay, never mind!

Aria: THE THOUSAND YEAR GAY!

 

**

 

Mario: *looking around, squinting* .... WHOA! SMG2 WHY ARE YOU NAKED?

SMG1: *pops out of a tree* HUH WHAT?? *falls out* WAH! *lands* Oh! Shit...

Mario: *troll face*

 

**

 

Cree: I can hold the whole world in my hands!

Tari: No you can't

Cree: *holds her face in his hands* yes I can~

 

(Note: Happy Valentine's Day Cree!)

 

**

 

Leggy: *shaking candy*

Error: put that candy back I am not buying you all that now

Leggy: *throws the candy at him*

Error: oh! *angry* try me bitch

 

**

 

Zero: *lonely*

Fred: Zero? You good?

Zero: I miss Niles

Fred: I got you bud. *clears throat* HEY NILES!

Niles: *offscreen* WHAT?!

Fred: ZERO-

Niles: *zooms over* yes~?

Zero: pfft

 

**

 

Natural: ... *sighs* hopefully this works, *walks over* Yellow?

Yellow: yes?

Natural: I got you something, *hands her a gift*

Yellow: *opens it, finds a Luvdisc inside* a Luvdisc?

Natural: well, they say if you give a Luvdisc to the person you love, it'll grant eternal love to the couple.

Yellow: *eyes sparkle* You mean...?

Natural: mhm

Yellow: *hugs him* I love you

Natural: *hugs her back* I love you too

*they kiss*

 

(Note: not every skit's gonna be funny guys)

 

**

 

Wren: *texting Callie: Lucky Shot told me life is like a deck of cards*

Callie: *texts back: so?*

Wren: *texts: so I guess you're the queen of hearts*

Callie: *texts back: okay you aced that pickup line*

Wren: *texts: well I am a jack of all trades*

Callie: *texts back: come over if you're not a joker~*

Lucks: *reading over his shoulder* smooth man, real smooth

Wren: think you could try that with Alastor?

Lucks: unlikely. Go get her One Shot.

 

**

 

Mario: I love you

Fridge: ... I have a boyfriend *leaves*

Mario: ... *sad*

Boopkins: *from outta nowhere* it's been a long day

 

**

 

*flashback*

 

Karen: don't you call me stupid!

WPNZ: Okay then, how 'bout BITCH?

Karen: arrogant dick!

WPNZ: spoiled sow!

Karen: fuck you!

WPNZ: fuck you!

Karen: FUCK YOU!

WPNZ: FUCK! YOU!

Karen: ... My room. Ten minutes

WPNZ: ???

SpongeBob narrator: one sex scene later

*outside shot*

*both Karen and WPNZ are heard panting*

Karen: wow...

WPNZ: eeyup.

Karen: I gotta admit, even with the broken ribs you really... wait

WPNZ: What?

Karen: where's your condom?

WPNZ: ... The fuck's a condom?

 

*end of flashback*

 

WPNZ: and that's how you three were conceived.

Katie: *horrified*

Zack: *disgusted*

Cory: cool

 

**

 

Lucks: *sighs* he wants to see me and he's running late?

Alastor: behind him* boo

Lucks: *girly scream*

 

**

 

*a retelling of Romeo and Juliet, with Peach and Bowser*

 

(note: yes I know this was done on SMG4, lemme have this okay?)

 

Bowser: Bwwwaaaahahaha!

Peach: O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Bowser: Oh Juliet, My love. I have been meaning to tell you something...

Peach: Oh? And what is that?...

Bowser: Gimme dat PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS—AY!

Peach: *...*

Bowser: Can I have-a the pussy please?! *Peach rejects him* PLEASE! PLEASE GIMME THE PUSSY!

♪It's been a long day...♪

 

 

SMG4: *pops out of nowhere* wait, didn't I already do this one?

Yellow: yeah you did

SMG4: YUBS!

Yubel: LEMME HAVE THIS OKAY??

 

**

 

WPNZ: *aiming a gun* COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!

Puzzles: *hands up* I'm gay!

 

**

 

Melony: wanna dance?

Axol: I don't know how~

Melony: me either~

*the two are asleep on the dance floor*

 

**

 

Uzi: Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

MD!N: I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now~

SMG4: *laughing*

 

**

 

Narrator: ... meh I'll put all three jokes here

 

*at a bar*

 

*the gang and villains are around*

Annie: *chilling*

Bob: *from out of nowhere* hey baby are you an angel? 'cuz I'm allergic to feathers *vomits*

Garcello: not his best.

Annie: nope.

Meggy: *chilling by the bar*

Desti: *slides in* hey~ I'm not like other girls~ I have snake arms *dances with snake arms*

Meggy: *laughing*

*with the villains*

Francis: *to BCL* hey baby, you come here often~?

BCL: *giggles* yes~ *serious* because I'm an alcholohic.

Francis: ...

BCL: *falls over*

Puzzles: ... That was weird.

 

**

 

Narrator: is SMG3 brave?

SMG3: I'mma brave boy!

SMG4: Yo SMG3!

SMG3: NOT A BRAVE ENOUGH BOY FOR THIS! *runs off*

SMG4: ???

 

(note: gay panic kicked in)

 

**

 

MD!N: Uzi? what's Yaoi?

Uzi: 0_0 uh... the guys being gay.

MD!N: is Mario Yaoi?

V: no he just lacks a partner.

Mario: *hears* ... Hello darkness my old friend

 

**

 

Alastor: *looks at Lucks' outfit* Really? Teddy bears and choo choo trains?

Lucks: *looks at his pants, blushes, looks back at Alastor*

Alastor: *in a loud whisper* choo choo

 

**

 

*in Hell*

Puzzles: ... Well this ain't so bad-

Wren: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

Puzzles: !!

Wren: YOU JUST LEFT ME TO DIE!!

Puzzles: ... Top 30 reasons why Puzzles is sorry, number 5 will surprise you.

Wren: *has his gun* TOP 3o ANIME DEATHS! NUMBER ONE!! YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!! *lunges at him*

WPNZ: *watching this unfold* I... need context

Lucks: I got ya. Puzzles gave Wren a simulation, the two dated, then after Meggy and the rest of the crew escaped, the building started coming down and Wren was just left inside.

WPNZ: damn. And I though Boxhead hurt me.

Lucks: you'd be surprised.

 

**

 

WPNZ: We got you on camera

Puzzles: well I got you, *pulls out flowers* flowers!

WPNZ: 0///0 uh.

 

**

 

Bowser: I love you

Peach: aww... gross.

Bowser: *sad*

 

**

 

Mario: *saves Peach, again*

Peach: Mario! You saved me!

Mario: ha ha! Way to go!

Peach: Thank you Mario! You know what? I think we're gonna be friends.

Mario: oh... yup, just friends... that's all we can ever be... ISN'T THAT RIGHT?? ISN'T THAT RIGHT YOU BITCH?? *sobs and falls back*

Peach: defuq?

 

**

 

Wren: Hey honey, are you an insect collection? Because I could look at you all day and never get you off my mind~

Callie: *swoons*

 

**

 

*kids run screaming*

Mario: I DEFY YOU HEART MAN! *rips off the costume from someone*

*that someone is his brother*

Luigi: MARIO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???

 

**

 

SMG2: I'm gonna go, put on something more comfortable~

SMG1: Just as long as it isn't the fish hat again-

SMG2: It's the FISH HAT AGAIN!!

 

**

 

BCL: so beautiful out here

Francis: yeah, it's just me, you, and the moon

Yellow: HEY! YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!

 

(note: it's a staple, you know it had to be somewhere)

 

**

 

Bob:

You're counting all your sheep in disguise

Caught up in the world of lies

Everyone knows it, you've got

Ulterior motives, tell me the truth

Every move shows

 

Annie: WILL YOU SHUT UP??

 

**

 

Chris: hey buddy you wanna take this outisde??

Swag: sure!

Chris: wow what a lovely evening!

Swag: this was a really good idea!

 

**

 

X: so, your place or mine~?

FM: uh this is your place

X: Well that would explain why all my stuff is here.

 

**

 

Lucks: *chilling on a bench*

Alastor: *sees, clears throat* Oh Derek~

Lucks: hm?

Alastor:

Daisy, Daisy,

Give me your answer, do!

I'm half crazy,

All for the love of you!

It won't be a stylish marriage,

I can't afford a carriage,

But you'll look sweet upon the seat

Of a bicycle built for two!

Lucks: *blushing*

 

**

 

Sheridan: *reaches a store and walks inside with Beeg and Eggdog* okay, here we are!

Beeg: *confused* defuq?

Sheridan: you want treats?

Beeg: *gasps* WOOOOOOOOOO!!! YEAH BABY! That's what I've been waiting for! That's what it's all about!

Eggdog: *happy doggo noises*

Sheridan: *takes them to the candy aisle* don't go for the chocolate Eggdog, and-

*both are gone*

Sheridan: pfft, *smiles and sighs* Four and Three are gonna kill me

SMG3: *off screen* what the bingus?

SMG4: you took them out for candy?

Sheridan: well duh. I was the fun uncle *proud smile*

SMG3: *in disbelief* Why would you- AH! Eggdog that's chocolate! *runs to him*

Sheridan: ... okay maybe I didn't think that part through.

SMG4: apparently not. Why would you think that was a good idea anyway?

Sheridan: probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

SMG4: *trying not to laugh* oh

Sheridan: *deadpan* I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

SMG3: *rolls eyes* lemme guess, real reason is you got no one for today?

Sheridan: *sighs* yeah, the joys of being single on Valentine's Day

Mario: *gets dragged by Beeg* Tell Mario about it

Sheridan: .... *ahem* that and, the boys are kids, might as well get them something, right?

SMG3: that's... a good point.

SMG4: next time, just tell us you wanna treat them, okay?

Sheridan: ... *smiles* I'll keep that in mind.

*the three walk to where Beeg and Eggdog are*

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Notes:

yes I used a bunch of ASDF references, what of it?
I hope you guys enjoyed this