Work Text:
You have seven new messages.
Message one: *beep* “The Ball, you’ve got to come over and enjoy the spa that I’ve set up! We’ve got masseuses, vitamin B12 shots, wheat grass shots, mud baths – the whole nine yards! Stop drinking your coffee and get your ass over here to relax!” *beep*
Save message? Press ‘4’ to save and ‘7’ to delete.
4
You have six new messages.
Message two: *beep* “Rizwalda! You need to take a break from your clubs and kick it with me and Gorthalax down at The Bottomless Pit! We’ve got a sweet recording studio down here now, and you should come check out the acoustics! We can lounge around all day and chill!” *beep*
4
You have five new messages.
Message three: *beep* “Hey Riz, I was just thinking of you and how you’re always running around and figured that you could use some R&R. I made this new sleep sound machine and I thought you might find it useful if you wanted to take a nap. If you want.” *beep*
4
You have four new messages.
Message four: *beep* “Riz! Rizbert! Campaign manager! I saw you running around all week and I figured you could use some time to unwind. Fabian’s got a sauna set up and I thought it’d be great if we took advantage of it. We don’t even need to talk shop, we can keep it nice and chill. Let me know!” *beep*
4
You have three new messages.
Message five: *beep* Yoooo, Gukgak! I heard you’re joining all the clubs but you’re missing out on the best one! It’s the Gorgonfern Appreciation Club and our first meeting is this weekend at my house! Don’t worry, I’ve got all the supplies we need to mellow out and just relax, so come on by. You know where the Durdens live!” *beep*
4
You have two new messages.
Message six: *beep* “Riz… I hope you’ll find time to come home for dinner tonight. I bought a lasagna; I know how much you like the one from Giavanni’s and I thought you could really benefit from a hot meal. You’ve been working yourself to the bone and I just want to spend a nice meal with you once a while. I love you.” *beep*
4
You have one new message.
Message seven: *beep* Riz Gukgak, you leave that office this instant, go home to your mother for that lasagna, and then book it over to Fabian’s for sauna time and a massage! This is an order, because if you don’t, I foresee in your future a Psychic Lance with your name on it!” *beep*
4
You have no new messages. Play saved messages?