Archive of Our Own

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Terry Richard: Welcome back to 10Ply, the hockey podcast where we talk about all the teams that don’t get talked about all that much – because they suck, but we still love them! I’m Terry Richard, and I’m from Arizona, and I’m joined by Joe Francis, who is Ottawa born and bred. Joe, I hear you have something fun for us today?

Joe Francis: Yes, Richy, I do! After these crazy two weeks with most hockey news covering the shocking data leak where some major athletes got exposed for insider betting, cheating, and just plain asshole behaviour, I felt like we could do with something a little more lighthearted.

Richy: Yes, I would not want to be in the Florida locker room right now. As if we needed more reasons to hate them.

Joe: Finding out their locker room is a toxic wasteland was also not on my bingo card for the year, and yet I’m not as surprised as I should have been. I think a lot of people are feeling lucky it was Florida and not their team.

Richy:: My team would never.

Joe:: I think you mean no one would ever bother to hack a member of your team. Though I hope my news will cheer you up a little, that eighth consecutive loss was a tough pill to swallow.

Richy:: Yes it was. But hey, at least I’m not delusional enough to hope and dream of Ilya Rozanov moving to my team.

Joe: I’m telling you Richy, It’s going to happen. For those who missed it, check out our predictions episode, in which I tell all about a crazy – prophetic – dream I had, in which Ilya Rozanov doesn’t resign with the Bears, but moves to Ottawa.

Richy: And that brings us to our opening segment, doesn’t it?

Joe: Yes. I’ve made no secret of the fact I’m a huge Ilya Rozanov fan. When the news hit and I saw his name on the list… I wasn’t worried perse, but they do say never meet your heroes.

Richy: Truth. But there has been no incriminating stuff found on his phone, right?!

Joe: Nothing, and I was really fucking relieved about it too.

Richy: Okay, so why are we talking about it?

Joe: Well, since there was nothing bad on it, I figured I’d have a look and see if I could find something fun that might get him to come on our podcast.

Richy: You decided to invade his privacy in hopes that would get the Ilya Rozanov to come on our podcast?... guys, you are not seeing this but Joe is giving me the stink eyes.

Joe: When you say it like that it sounds really bad.

Richy: I mean…if it walks like a duck…

Joe: Look, it happened, it sucks, and yes, I do feel a little bad about doing a deep dive into his private life, but-

Richy: But not enough to not tell us what you found. Okay, now that we have established you know you’re doing wrong, and you’re doing it anyway, please go ahead.

Joe: Okay, so, at first glance his phone isn’t all that interesting. There’s about a bazillion women in there, and from the text messages it looks like those are his “regulars” for on the road.

Richy: Don’t think anyone expected anything else form the league’s biggest man-whore.

Joe: Mmm, but that’s the thing. I noticed that he hasn’t hit any of his regular’s up this season. And we’re halfway through it. So I went to see when the last time he texted any of the girls in his phone was…

Richy: Are you pausing for dramatic effect? Just tell us.

Joe: Before All-Stars last season.

Richy: That’s almost a year.

Joe: That is indeed almost a year. So I took a closer look at his female contacts.

Richy: Mmhmm, looking for sexting tips, were you?

Joe: You joke, but seriously, you wouldn’t find it in his text. It’s the bare minimum of “In X-city then and then. Meet up?”

Richy: I probably wouldn’t need much more if Rose Landry was texting me for a hook-up. You know, I think a lot of people would have been interested in Shane Hollanders leaked messages, just to find out how he managed to bag and fumble her in a span of months.

Joe: Oh, that’s easy. Hollander is actually a robot programmed for one thing, and one thing only.

Joe and Richy: Hockey.

Joe: But it is funny you bring him up. Ah, ah. I’ll tell you why in a bit.

Richy: Okay, okay. So you took a closer look at Rozanov’s female contacts.

Joe: Yes I did and I found a girl named Jane. And Jane was different.

Richy: Did he write really long poetic paragraphs to her instead of “coming over, be ready.”

Joe: No, actually, it was a different contact, or I should say contacts, that made me look at Jane.

Richy: Do tell us more.

Joe: Not yet, I want to build this up properly.

Richy: Okay, drama queen. Whatever. So what did Rozanov text to Jane?

Joe: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There was nothing there.

Richy: What do you mean?

Joe: There was nothing there. Jane has been in his contacts since 2011, and there was not one text between them. Not even a “hi this is” text.

Richy: Okay, so maybe it is an old contact and he didn’t transfer his texts when he changed phones.

Joe: I thought so too at first, but then I remembered what made me look at Jane in the first place.

Richy: I’m not even going to ask if you’re going to tell us.

Joe: It’s worth the wait, I promise you.

Richy: Sure.

Joe: Okay. So, not a text between them. Which made me look at his call history. And I found an extensive list. Starting when Rozanov was in Moscow for his father’s funeral. They call frequently when Rozanov is in Russia, then the calls stop once he’s back in the States.

Richy: Lots of calls in a short time, then nothing. And no texts.

Joe: No texts. I figured, maybe he has something to hide. Maybe it’s a married woman. Then I see that the next time they call is right after the final game in the playoffs, when New York wins the cup. Maybe this girl is connected to hockey, a player’s sister, a coach’s daughter.

Richy: Ooooeeeee.

Joe: Right, so I file that information away for later. They call right after the playoffs, then for a while there’s nothing again.

Richy: Whole lot of nothing. I’m admitting I don’t see how this is going to be interesting.

Joe: Because in the summer, two new contacts appear in Rozanov’s phone.

Richy: The aforementioned contacts that made you look a little closer at Jane in the first place, right?

Joe: Mhmm. It’s Jane’s Mom and Jane’s Dad. So those appeared in the summer, and that made me curious. All the other women are clearly just hook ups. Definitely not have-her-parents-in-your-phone kind of relationships.

Richy: Okay, so he’s getting serious with a girl. I don’t see how that’s big news. The puck bunnies are definitely crying, but even playboys have to settle down eventually.

Joe: Yeah, yeah, sure. Except there are no still no text messages. Not between Rozanov and Jane, and not between Rozanov and Jane’s parents.

Richy: Mmm. I mean maybe he deletes everything?

Joe: We’ll speculate later. So, after summer, the calls increase. Exponentially. They call multiple times a week. Everything points to a serious relationship. And then the question pops up again. If Rozanov is in a relationship, how come we don’t know? Why hasn’t he been spotted with a girl? It’s January now, why keep it a secret?

Richy: I mean if it is a coach’s daughter, or a player’s sister…that could cause some issues.

Joe: Right! Doubt there are dads or brothers out there who want their daughter or sister dating Ilya Playboy Rozanov. I mean sure you’d get to call a hockey legend your son or brother in-law, but…

Richy: Throw a stone and you’ll hit a girl he’s fucked. Health and cheating risks aside, he’s also Russian.

Joe: Mmm. But yeah, I figured it was most likely someone connected to hockey.

Richy: Doesn’t Marlow have a sister?

Joe: Yes, he does. You want to place your money on her?

Richy: No, not when you say it like that. Okay. So clearly you’ve figured out who it is.

Joe: Yes, I did some detective work. Because let’s not forget Rozanov’s phone wasn’t the only one that got hacked.

Richy: I think no one forgot that.

Joe: I’m almost embarrassed to admit how long I spent checking if this Jane was in any of the other player’s phones. But that’s what I did. I went through everyone’s contact list to see if someone had a similar contact.

Richy: Was she?

Joe: Oh yes. I found her. But not as Jane.

Richy: Okay, I’m weirdly invested now. Tell me, who was it?

Joe: Jane was in Vancouver’s local hero Thomas Wilson’s phone as…and please give me a drumroll.

Richy: You’re not going to give us the name if I don’t do it, are you?

Joe: Nope.

Richy: makes a drumroll sound.

Joe: Wait… do you want to guess?

Richy: No, I want you to tell us who Jane is.

Joe: Okay, drumroll please.

Richy: I’m not doing it again.

Joe: …

Richy: Fine. Makes a drumroll noise.

Joe: Shane Hollander.

Richy: Drumroll cuts of suddenly. What?

Joe: Jane is Shane Hollander.

Richy: Hockey player Shane Hollander?

Joe: Yes.

Richy: I need a moment.

Joe: I did too. Don’t forget that the contact has existed since 2011.

Richy: Okay. Just so I’ve got the facts straight. Rozanov has had Jane, who is Hollander, his biggest fucking rival, in his phone since 2011. There are no texts between the two, but when Rozanov’s dad died, they started calling.

Joe: Yes.

Richy: Who called who?

Joe: Hollander called Rozanov.

Richy: You know what. I think that makes sense. Hollander is always so incredibly correct. I could see him calling his rival to offer his condolences or something. Rivalry be damned. He’s just that nice.

Joe: True, true. But do you remember that bit in 2014 during the award for most sportsmanlike.

Richy: Vaguely.

Joe: I was going through the pictures on Rozanov’s phone, and the only pictures he has with Hollander are the ones he took during their speech.

Richy: He actually took those pictures?

Joe: Yes. And still has them almost 4 years later.

Richy: Wait, didn’t he jokingly ask for Hollander’s phone number during the bit?

Joe: Yes, yes he did.

Richy: But he already had it?

Joe: Yes! Here we have these NHL Superstars, portrayed as rivals who absolutely hate each other ever since their rookie season, even before their rookie season. And not only have they had each other’s numbers since 2011, when Rozanov disappeared and nobody knew he was in Russia for his father’s funeral, they were calling each other every day.

Richy: But those calls stopped when Rozanov returned to Boston.

Joe: Sure, then they started calling each other almost every day this season. And, let’s not forget-

Richy: Ilya Rozanov has Shane Hollander’s parents in his phone?

Joe: Yep.

Richy: Okay. Honestly, I don’t know what to think.

Joe: Right! Like if it was anyone other than has-a-million-girls-in-his-phone Ilya womanizer Rozanov, I’d think they were having a gay affair.

Richy: Especially with the rumours swirling around Hollander.

Joe: And what about the fact Rozanov had him as Jane? Like what’s up with that? Why a girl’s name?

Richy:How does he have other players in his contacts?

Joe: Most of them are there under a nickname. But none of them have a girl’s name.

Richy: Yeah, that’s strange. But I just don’t see it. I mean… I can get behind them being…something, but not…that. Not Rozanov.
Joe:Not even when he stopped texting his other girls…

Richy:Stop grinning like that. No. Not even then. I mean Rozanov is spotted with women all the time.

Joe: Yeah, and there are entire reddit threads dedicated to uniting women who have fucked Rozanov, gossiping about how it was to fuck Rozanov.

Richy: And I know a girl who has been in Rozanov’s bed and she wouldn’t shut up about how good he was. Like, not a dude doing it to pass. She called it life changing. I swear the only reason she’s shut up about it is because her boyfriend threw a hissy fit over it.

Joe: Yes, so probably a no on the love affair. But at the very least they are friendly, and most likely friends.

Richy: The NHL biggest rivals are friends. I can’t believe it.

Joe: Think about how much money the league has made from their rivalry. And it’s fake!

Richy: Well, we’re speculating that it’s fake.

Joe: What, you think they call each other to chirp?

Richy: Rozanov probably would…but not Hollander. No I don’t see that happening.

Joe: So, folks, to sum it up: Rozanov and Hollander have each other’s phone number despite them saying they don’t. They have zero texts between them, but a lot of calls. And Rozanov also has Hollander’s parents in his phone.

Richy: That is so bizarre I forgot about it already. At this point I would be less surprised if it were some other Jane’s parents.

Joe: It’s all I’ve been thinking about ever since I had the brilliant idea to deep dive into Rozanov’s phone two days ago.

Richy: I think the no text thing is what makes it weird. Like how do you have zero texts but do call. When I’m gone I sometimes text my wife before I call to tell her I’ll call in five minutes or something. So I really think he deleted texts.

Joe: Do you want to hear my leading theory?

Richy: Sure.

Joe: Rozanov is moving to Ottawa.

Richy: O God.

Joe: But he knows he can’t do that, unless he makes nice with Hollander, because it is Hollanders home town, and fans would definitely be divided if Rozanov just shows up in Ottawa. So he makes nice with the Hollanders so he can have a seamless move.

Richy: That’s not a theory, that is a wish.

Joe: I’m telling you, it could happen.

Richy: There are so many holes in your “wish” I’m not even going to dignify this with an answer.

Joe: You’re just jealous Ottawa is going to sign Ilya Rozanov.

Richy: Rozanov, who is apparently friends with Hollander, and Hollander’s parents.

Joe: And you heard it here first folks!

Richy: Well, I can’t wait for our fans to weigh in with their theories. Let us know on Instagram, Twitter, or YouTube what you’re thoughts are. For now. Let’s talk Anaheim versus Calgary.

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Reporter: It’s been a few weeks since the leak, and pretty soon after you both stated you would make an announcement at this Montreal-Boston press conference and declined to make any comments on your supposed friendship. So, are you friends? Was the rivalry fake?

Hollander: Ilya and I have been competing against each other for over seven seasons. A lot has been said, and written, about our rivalry. About what makes us different as players, and as people. But I don’t say enough how much I respect Ilya, not only as one of the best players in the NHL, but as a person. He is a great leader, a fierce competitor, and an amazing goal scorer. For most players what happens on the ice, stays on the ice. We’re all rivals until we get traded, play together at the All-Stars, or for the lucky ones, represent our country in the Olympics. I have gotten to know Ilya off the ice, and I do consider him to be a friend.

Reporter: And for you, Ilya?

Rozanov: Rivalry is real. Friendship is also real.

Reporter: How does that work.

Rozanov: On the ice, I beat Hollander. Off the ice, I also beat Hollander.

Hollander: I just won the game!

Rozanov: Maybe, but I scored more goals.

Hollander: But you lost the game. So I won.

Rozanov: No, your team won. But I am better than you, because I scored more goals.

Reporter: Okay, okay, and you call each other?

Hollander: Ilya knew I wanted to do something meaningful with the money I make from the NHL, so when I called him to offer my condolences we got to talking. This is not how we wanted to announce it, but we felt we also couldn’t stay silent about what we are doing when we get asked about our phone calls every time we’re in front of a microphone.

The reason for the phone calls is that Ilya and I are working very hard on launching a charity. The Irina Foundation will raise money and awareness for organizations that provide support, counselling, and assistance for people who are suffering from depression and other mental illnesses that can lead to suicide. It’s a cause that is important to both of us, and I am very happy and proud to be working with Ilya to create something that can hopefully help a lot of people.

There is a lot of work involved in creating and running a charity, and we are not quite sorted yet with all the paperwork involved. We will have an official announcement and launching of the charity when we are ready. I also want to take this moment to thank my parents for helping us with all the paperwork and legalese, because with our busy schedules it would probably get done once we retired.

Reporter: Ilya, there is some speculation online that you have deleted the texts between the two of you, any comment on that?

Rozanov: Hollander is very nice. He knows I don’t like texting in English, even more so when we are talking about difficult and serious topics. So we call.

Is also for cyber security. As a professional athlete there is always more risk that a crime will happen. Gronkowski can tell you this. I often delete entire chats or messages when personal stuff has been said. It was just more noticeable with Shane because we talk about foundation so I deleted everything instead of single messages. Was easier.

Reporter: You share a lot of personal information with Shane?

Rozanov. Yes. The Irina foundation is very personal for me. It is named for my mother. She battled depression without help for many years. She had no support, no medical treatment. My mother died when I was twelve years old. She lost her battle. This foundation is for her. It is to help people like her, so they do not have to fight alone.

Reporter: Why did you have Shane as Jane in your contacts? We know you used nicknames for other players, even those not on your team, but why a girl name for Shane? Did you have something to hide?

Rozanov: Ah, is also chirp, because he is plain Jane. I don’t know if you know this, but Hollander is very boring. Drives boring car, doesn’t go clubbing, never breaks rules.

Hollander: Plain Jane? Asshole!

Reporter: Hollander, you didn’t know he named you after plain Jane?

Hollander: No.

PR manager: We have time for one more question.

Reporter: How do you expect your friendship to influence important games during the season and playoffs?

Hollander: It won’t influence our game at all. We’ve always played our best games against each other, and will continue to do so.

Rozanov: You do not ask this of the Thompson brothers, do you?

PR manager: That’s really all we have time for.

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