Archive of Our Own

May your pillow forever be cold on both sides🙏

You tagged them!!!😂😂😂

Did...did you just casually drop the biggest bomb????

Rozanov and Hollander friends...🤯I guess the world is ending.🤯

I mean it is but you did have to look at Jane's messages instead of just assuming it was another girl Rozanov hooked up with🤷‍♀️

I think you underestimate the amount of women studying Rozanov's texts right now to see how they can become the next Mrs Rozanov.

Yes, agree, however...they did give confirmation to the speculation🤐

Because it is so much effort to look for a specific contact in other players' phones😒

Okay but I've never seen Hollander chirp anyone, he's always so polite.

👹Rozanov working overtime to corrupt Hollander👹

He can try but he won't succeed.

😇 I'm happy for him 😇#CanadasGoldenBoy#corruptionfailed#unproblematicfav

People forgetting he's a hockey player🙄. Just cuz he got media trained doesn't mean he doesn't chirp😌

The evidence (he immediately found out everything about Hunter’s boyfriend) would suggest yes. Yes he is.

And telling his frenemy Shane Hollander.🤭

Is anyone else also suspicious how these are the first texts in their chat?

I'm sat🏕️

XOXO Gossip Girl

Justice for Halton LET'S GOOO.

You know what will help Roz sleep??? It's me. I will help him sleep. 🥵😴

No, but seriously, what was he going to say there??? I NEED to know!!! Why did he cut it off like that...???

Same, same. Like there's no way he wasn't going to say something sexual right???

No, no, no, no. He was probably going to say Hollander's documentary (that came out in 2016). I love Hollander, but even I thought that was 🥱boring.🥱

BLASPHEMY

Girllll, did we watch the same thing?? Did you skip the part where he was doing yoga 🥵🥵🥵🥵🔥🔥🔥🔥 I had dreams about that for daaayyys. Dayumn

Why did he leave off like that???

Whatever Roz did...he probably deserved it.

Maybe Hol24 felt like Roz81 just needed a reminder?

Randomly, sure...

Hollander, probably

and another weird cutoff...

Friendship or hostage situation?

Someone should teach Shane how to block people...

OMG no no. Listen. I swear to god!! There was a clip floating around where you can hear a San Jose player talk about how weird Hollander was...

because Hollander kept asking him if he had trouble pooping in public places...it was really bad quality, so everybody thought they just misheard...

I swear it was somewhere, Imma try and find it.

I mean...has Hollander been reading the same texts as us?? 😂😂

Hollander participating in Rozanov's shenanigans was not on my bingo card...

I think it is adorable they are competing off the ice too.

I'm also putting my money on Gossip Girl Ilya Rozanov😄

Like you lose...not against Boston...and still have to deal with Rozanov...💀

☠️I'd rather be killed quickly please and thank you☠️

If this is friendship I don't want it 😭

Rozanov has two settings.

Gossiping with Hollander

Chirping Hollander

I've been less obsessed with my boyfriend's exes...

Is someone thinking what I'm thinking?

Shane is such a baby chirper❤️❤️❤️

To the question: How tired do you have to be to not get one of the most common chirps in hockey?

The answer: this 👆 tired.

Wait is that why Shane Hollander is never spotted in the club? He watches game tape after his own games? Does that boy do anything other than hockey?

He can do me👅

You'll have to dress up as 🏒hockey🏒

All this time wasted finding out where Montreal was partying...😭

He dated Rose Landry...You think he would have gone for you😂 Stay delulu❤️

🙆‍♀️A girl needs dreams🙆‍♀️

So we are ignoring that Rozanov knows that Hollander watches game tape before bed??? CoolCoolCoolCoolCoolCool

HOLY SHIT!!! I found this clip which is from a day, A DAY, later. Rozanov does do it better🤤

... Who can back it up! What a man🔥🔥🔥

I think he's taken #hollanov

Stop trying to make Hollanov happen. It's not going to happen.

Right!! Like who you trying to fool??

I would also rather die before admitting that to my rival / frenemy / whatever the hell they are.

What rumours...???👂👂

That he's a hockey robot.

Ah...you are not thinking what I'm thinking.

That celly was terrible though. Grateful that Rozanov gave Smith shit for it when no one on the ice did.

Besties. Sure.

Checking up on someone during your own game is not rival behaviour so I am calling it ✨besties.✨

...not what I meant...

I just realised (okay I actively searched for it), but after Paczkowski hit Hollander, the first game Rozanov plays against him he mouthed off so bad Paczkowski started a fight that Rozanov finished.

Nobody does…not even Roz probably😅.

I once saw a mic’ed up Meerland look super confused every time Rozanov said something to him. So I listened to what Rozanov was saying…just compliments. Just compliments all the time. Confused Meerland so much he was off his game and lost every face off / battle against ROZ.🤣

This…this could be flirting, right? Am I going crazy?

Giiiirrllll...

Let men be friends. Or enemies, or whatever. They’re literally talking about beating each other in a game.

Beating each other...off...maybe...

…and does Rozanov immediately rectify that…

Buffalo is too sad. The only records they’re going to set are negative ones. 👎

Yeah… I predict a longest losing streak 😤 🥺

Roz is right though 😩 shittalking BUF is like kicking a baby. Imagine being a Buffalo fan 🤕🤕those poor bastards.

Mmmm...why do I feel like there's a step missing 🤔🤔🤔

Step eight: Get chirped by Rozanov about shitting your pants. (And those chirps must have been brutal).

Step nine: worry if Rozanov is using this chirp on all Chicago players, or if he KNOWS😈

Not the random Rose Landry shade😂😂

Poor jealous Rozanov🥺

I looked up that game...He's not wrong👀 I mean...did the D-Men even know they were supposed to defend their star player or...

I, too, stand with Ilya Rozanov: Hollander only cares about hockey👑

For anyone interested I found (part of) the interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QNsepw95m4&t=141s

around 2:16

I know right 🤤 that Calvin Klein one is 🔥🔥🔥

Question: Do we think Rozanov stares at that picture of Hollander more than a Geordie Shorer looks in the mirror???

He also didn't get a +2 for instigating.

😎That's what we call a win-win😎

I just need to know what he won??? Or what Hollander lost???

Not a game, he won against Boston after.🙏

There is no way Hollander didn't know he would be siccing Roz on Chicago with this question.

Right!! Hollander knew what he was doing. 😱

But Rozanov actually asking him...

I love him💖

Shane Hollander being sarcastic😱🤯😵

Shane has more personality in these two sentences than in all of his interviews combined👀

Somebody needs to give his PR manager or whoever media trained him a freaking raise💸

These text are mid-game 👀

Anybody surprised Hollander knows this?? No?? Yeah, me neither 🙂

😲😲😲You looked up Randy Holt??!!! I wouldn't have dared😅😅

🙈🙈🙈OMG I also thought it was an "adult" actor 🙈🙈🙈

Hahaha it DOES sound like a porn name😂😂😂

But I very much doubt Hollander knows any pornstars 😅

Who keeps telling Ilya Rozanov all this shit?😂

I would also 100% keep telling Ilya Rozanov all this shit just to see him chirp others.

That shit is hilarious.

Okay but I rewatched this game to see if I could catch some of Roz's chirps. And he is relentless.

"I've been thinking about buying a porsche (??) [couldn't hear this], or do you think I should go bigger."

"Maybe people will think I overcompensate. How do you deal with that problem?"

"Do you need some working out tips?"

"Your legs are looking a little thin there, Winny."

"I heard your girl's not satisfied with your size."

"Can't help you there, but you could ask Lyle (Winston's teammate)."

"How much do you squat?"

"Is serious question. Please answer."

"I need to know so I squat more."

"Don't want anyone being unsatisfied"

🖤Join the dark side🖤

We have 🍪cookies🍪 and a strong believe these two are 💖lovers💖

Hunter catching strays like🙄🙄🙄

Right? I've also overheard Rozanov calling him old / a dinosaur.

Do they actually dislike him though?

Honestly I was hella afraid Rozanov would be homophobic, but this just seems like normal hockey chirping. #relieved

🍪🍪 Or an annoyed spouse.🍪🍪

👀

Can’t imagine the Voyageurs have a problem with Captain Shane Hollander, personally responsible for two Stanley Cups, who single handedly carries this team to the playoffs consistently (look at last season when SH got hurt, Montreal was nothing without him).

Yeah but all defence having personal issues at the same time is extremely unlikely???

I just looked up the game they were talking about, they do hang Hollander out to dry. He’s never protected when he has to puck or not. Got slammed so many times. Must have been a ball of bruises.

And Rozanov doesn't chirp him about it at all. He sounds actually concerned.

And this is not the first time he's expressed concerns over Montreal.👀👀

I also didn't have to look it up, but I did rewatch the highlights.🔥🔥 He is so so good normally, but this game was on another level 🔥🔥

Florida didn't stand a chance and they knew it thirty seconds in. You can see them staring in awe...

🙅‍♀️Not a robot🙅‍♀️ Hollander is a hockey GOD

26 years old and everyone just knows his number is gonna be retired

I have all the fucking comments🫦

We know🙄

Can't believe Rozanov doesn't chirp Hollander for the countdown😬😬 Especially because Hollander did😆

I'm taking this as confirmation that Rozanov knows Shane Hollander is the best 💖.

I think Rozanov would 🫶 you and Hollander if he heard you say that.

What????

I think he'd commit murder if people didnt't think he thinks he is the best.

This 🫶 is a heart???

No it's hands wrapped around a throat.

What???? No it isn't?? 🤣🤣

Buddy...you're revealing a little too much about yourself.

Just realised (yes, okay, I actively searched for it), that Hollander’s beautiful backhanded goal against Caroline was right after Rozanov asked him if he needed tips. 😏 😏 😏 😎 😎 weak backhand?? where?? 😎 😎

Me neither but guess who didn't play his next game...

But I also feel like we’re getting to see a lot more of Shane’s quiet confidence in these chats. Like he’s always so polite, and humble. The team this and the team that. It’s good to see he knows how good he is. 💪

At their first All-stars they actually asked Shane if he wanted to play with Ilya in the future. He said yes then too.😌

They had to wait 6!!! years for that dream to come true. Please don’t break them up now!!

Why is it always I love you and never Always wondered what it would be like to play on the same team.😩😩

yeah and when Ilya Rozanov was a rookie he already looked like a grown man.😂 He is HUGE💪

That's an eternity in hockey years though😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

No😱😱!!!. What gave you that idea???🫢🙈😂

Uhmmm...helloo😟😟

I said what I said.

errmmm yeaa they are both 🌸obsessed🌸 with each other

I'm still not going to shut up about it though.

I'm slightly concerned you know their names...

We're not calling him a robot because he has no personality. We're calling him a robot because his precision is in-fucking-sane, his edges are out-of-this-world, and his hockey IQ is so high you could jump off of it and die.

Uhm no, I still want Boston to beat Montreal all the time everytime, I’m just saying that 🌶️ is🌶️ and Shane Hollander is absolutely fucking gorgeous

And with these circumstances I mean never being safe from a Rozanov chirp.

Dickhead

Asshole

Menace (fondly)

Gossip Girl Ilya Rozanov

SBH (should block him)

OEWMS (only engage when mentally stable)

DIRWTGCT (Do I really want to get chirped today)

⚠️Caution ⚠️