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Cale stares at Alberu.
It was lingering so pathetically.
But… Alberu wasn't looking back at him, and he was fixing the cuffs on his sleeve. Cale still looked at him.
He did catch himself at some point. Eventually, at least.
And when he caught himself, he groaned internally and murmured curses under his breath.
'...Shit.'
Cale looked away from him quickly. There was some hesitation as he looked away.
He knew how he thought and what feelings he was carrying all this time. They lingered there for so long, even when he didn't know what it was exactly. He was never able to put a name to it, nor did he understand why he felt the way he did around Alberu.
But, now, now he just... just...
It's not like he can do much about it, his feelings for him.
Ah.
No, he was wrong. Maybe, perhaps, he could do something.
He knew there were things he could do, and he still didn't want to do much about it. His feelings were complicated, but simple at the same time.
Of course, he knew that, especially deep down.
The realization of what he was feeling came later than he wished. Yet, it definitely came to explain whatever he was experiencing. It was something he never experienced before with anybody else.
It's not like he hated how he felt, he knew there were all kinds of love you could feel for people and he happened to feel an err, romantic love for the Alberu Crossman.
A romantic love for someone, for the first time of his life. In both of his lives, really.
He was unfamiliar with this type of love. There was no trust with himself when he regarded love, especially this type.
Of course, he hadn't told or consulted anyone about what he felt. Why would he? He's not insane?!
He thought his feelings may be seen as a hindrance to everyone right now.
He wonders any one of his companions and friends noticed his feelings towards the prince? He knows how he presents his emotions towards others. As he got to know companions the years, they definitely got to know him better as well.
He was hiding it, but was he doing it well?
He didn't know how to act when he was in love with someone. So he thought his feelings bleed through to the people closest to him, and it’s not there’s a real life example to choose from.
Even more so, definitely thought it was a hindrance and knew better.
There was his journey of removing all the hunter household. He only gotten rid of one household and there were four other households that were definitely not going to be easy. This is especially considering what happened when he, and his companions gone to the Xiolen world.
Then there was the political climate of this world. Many kingdoms on the Western and Eastern continent were acting up, as politics were, especially after such a long period of war.
But he knew exactly how the mines would end up affecting the state of the these kingdoms around the two Continents. Wealth could do much more than anyone could imagine, especially compared to physical force.
Would Alberu, the Crown Prince of the Roan kingdom, in the middle of such situation, welcome those feelings?
Would Alberu understand these feelings Cale has?
No, no- he would. Undoubtedly.
But would he respond the sentimental emotions he has? How would Alberu respond to his feelings and a confession from him?
Knowing the Crown Prince thus far, the best case scenario was Alberu letting his feelings down gently and they would go back to being just hyung and dongsaeng. His feelings would still linger, but it wasn't like he believed they were ever going away anyway.
He doesn't picture much of a scenario of Alberu liking him back. In the first place, would Alberu like someone like him? That really was nonsense?! He was a bad person. It was a dream-like scenario that probably wouldn't come to fruition.
He would have to live with the fact that Alberu wouldn't ever respond to his feelings, and feel the way that Cale has felt towards him.
Mm.
He could live with that, he supposes.
He could also live with keeping his feelings hidden.
The only thing that really bothered him was what if Alberu decided for a partner? Would it be shocking for this prince to romance someone?
The Alberu who had everything. The looks, the talent, the smarts, and the wealth, who wouldn't fancy him?
He looked back up at Alberu. He studied him with a discreet gaze and looked away just as quick.
He thought about it. He truly did think about it, and imagine the situation, even.
And Alberu he would... he would... belong to someone.
But it wasn't as if he was his to begin with.
He didn't even know if he would be in a relationship with a man. Like does he fancy men, or women?
Both maybe?
Well, throughout all the years he’s known Alberu, it didn't seem like he was interested in any type of marriage. It may be the nobles pushing him for marriage, but that's another thing.
He has never seen Alberu explicitly interested in romance. And a matter of the fact, marriage.
But what if he changed his mind?
"..."
Would he be able to handle Alberu in a relationship with someone else?
Just knowing that Alberu would engage in acts of intimacy during this relationship...
...Maybe, he would hold them close, touch them close and kiss them like they have all the time in the world. Maybe they would be able to pull back for one moment, to just rest their foreheads against each other. What's more to that was, all the romantic acts that were beyond the acts of just physical.
(He's so selfish. So so selfish.)
He really is referring too much to those cringey romance novels, how cliche.
If Alberu was truly happy, if he truly loved them... that person... Cale would be able to let it go, right?
He would... he...
He...
...Too much. He blinked.
"...Cale?"
Cale heard Alberu called out to him as his head was spiraling. Was he saying something? He looked back at him and they both stared at each other.
He stepped closer, and all Cale wanted was to step back.
He was close. (Sososoclose.)
"What?"
As prune as always, Cale called out to Alberu informally unintentionally, and Alberu shook his head.
"Really, so disrespectful to the future ruler. Did you even hear what I said?"
"...Mn, say it again, I'm all ears."
Undoubtedly, Cale did not hear what Alberu said due to his thoughts about romancing Alberu, or someone romancing him. He didn't even try to deny it either.
Alberu signed at that reply.
"Haaaa. I've got the North, the Caro, and the other kingdoms all dealt with. No need to do anything anymore."
"Who said I was going to do anything else?"
Alberu looked at Cale with a knowing expression at that response. The Cale Alberu knew was someone wasn't one to leave things alone, and he obviously didn't this time too. He did more than enough given the current situation, and he knows that he'll be leaving to go to the next world soon.
And Raon and Choi Han, the people who were usually with him, weren't with him today. Which was unusual, but definitely not unwelcome by Alberu.
He usually doesn't have alone time with Cale. So now that a situation like this has occurs, he's pretty happy about that.
Alberu opened his mouth, and clapped his hands together. This was all while suppressing his feelings that were quite joyful traveling through him.
"Hey, dongsaeng—"
"Crown Prince Alberu."
Cale quickly cut Alberu off.
Alberu looked at Cale again as if to say 'this disrespectful bastard?' Cale ignored it and thought about something else for a moment.
He decided it would be fine to ask him something he's been wanting to for a long time. He didn't know why, but his heart rate speed up and his hand became all clumpy. He really did think it was new thing he was experiencing.
It wasn't really that serious?
There's no way his highness would mind?
Right? Right.
It's not like he was confessing to him. It was just a question that kept coming up in his head and would still come up if he couldn't find an answer for it.
If it bothered him, shouldn't he just ask?
Wouldn't that fix what was going on in his head every time he wondered if Alberu wanted that type of relationship with someone in future? If he wanted to seek out that type of relationship?
"Hey, Cale? Are you alright?"
Cale almost flinched at the hesitant calling and looked back at Alberu. His expression definitely looked different than before... it looked a bit concerned... right?
What's with that expression?
"...I'm fine, your highness."
"..."
"I'm fine."
Alberu didn't even have to ask Cale for him to assume what he was going to say. His assumption was indeed correct. His expression looked as it always did normal, but his body language feels out of the ordinary?
No, he saw a few time before while Cale was around him, but it would be gone as quick as he could blink.
He thought Cale sometimes acted strange around him. He even ask his aunt and a few other if Cale acted that way around them too. They denied it, and it got Alberu wondering.
Was it really just around him?
What that body language showed was nervousness, wasn't it?
As Alberu was thinking what could cause Cale to feel nervous around him, Cale was looking at Alberu's expression and saw it turned back to the expression he usually always has.
Cale hid his hands behind his back.
"Well, your highness..."
Cale did like saying Alberu's name, but he decided to stick to his highness for now. Of course, Cale saw that Alberu was tentatively listening to him.
"Hm, if you find the right person in the future, what would you do? Or do you plan on seeking that type of relationship, mn, a... romantic relationship?"
Alberu blinked.
"What?"
"What?"
Cale replied stoically and that's when the staring contest began. Cale still had his hand behind his back, staring with at him with no change in his expression and Alberu had been staring back, dumbfounded.
Neither of them were backing down.
Alberu blinked again and slowly reacted after that.
"Cale... you're asking me about my future love life? Is that right?"
".....Haha..."
Cale just awkwardly laughed.
He started to regretted it after hearing what Alberu had to say. He should've reworded it differently. No, maybe he shouldn't have asked at all?
The atmosphere seemed strange.
But what's done, is done.
A few things passed through Alberu's mind, but he still answered. It wasn't like he was opposed to answering this question. He wasn't planning to get married in the future, and if he were, only one person he would want as his partner.
He looked at Cale, and his eyes glistened sightly.
Still, he pushed those feelings to the side as he answered truthfully.
"Well, dongsaeng, marriage isn't something I particularly envision for my future. There's a lot of complications to it, and I could tell you later, if you would like."
If he were to consider him being partially Dark Elf and the image Dark Elves still have. There's also other complications to it as well. It has got better on the Western Continent, particularly, the Roan Kingdom, but still needs to work.
He stared off to the side.
"And the right person... mn, I'm unsure? That..."
He looked back at Cale and was about to continue, but the words quickly died in his throat. His eyes were wide, obviously surprise at the sight before him.
He saw Cale's face turned to the side, which was not the problem.
Cale's lips were twitching upwards and his eyes glowed so brightly like the Sun God had personally come down here herself to light it up.
...What's this?
That expression changed so quickly he would've missed it if he didn't turn at that exact moment. It turned to a frown, then back to his stoic expression.
Alberu watched it all in shock.
"You're unsure? ...That what?"
Cale still had his face turned, and he turned back soon.
His face looked the same, emotionless as always, but Alberu seriously did see a difference. His eyes were brighter than usual.
That brightness didn't seem to be going away.
'No, what's this? Was he seeing things right?'
Of course, if he came across the right person, that would change things. But what Cale didn't know there already someone he had in his mind and heart. He couldn't even picture the the extent of these feelings.
He asked that question without even knowing it was him, Cale.
He knew how he felt, oh, he very well knew.
Was it like? Was it love? Both, right?
Only Cale would make his heart drum this way.
He still couldn't get those series of expressions out of his mind. As he looked at Cale, and Cale looked at him back, it really conflicted his heart.
"...Well, what occurs would depend on the specific circumstances."
He finally answered.
The statement was ambiguous for someone like Alberu, but his mind was blank. All he saw was Cale nodding his head in understanding.
"I see."
"..."
He expression was stoic, but Alberu knew better than that stoic expression. He seemed refreshed, like he had the answer to something that's been bothering him.
Cale turned around, he felt to urge to smile for some reason. He ignored it, and decided to go to the couch. He'll eat some cookies while waiting for Raon to comeback.
But before he could even take a step, he could feel something hold his wrist. He stopped himself from moving any further and turned back. The Crown Prince staring at him with an unreadable expression.
The grip around his wrist was tight, but not enough to hurt.
His glaze held up against Alberu.
Tighten. Squeeze.
And Alberu squeezed the grip, holding his glaze against Cale.
"Huh? What do you want?"
It came it a bit rough, but Cale was like that, Alberu knew it too.
"Cale Henituse."
"...What?"
When regarding Cale's character, he definitely needed to do this now. Alberu had to bring up whatever he was wondering before the conversation switches and he leaves in a blink on an eye.
"Why did you ask me that.....?"
Cale titled his head, though he was internally surprised at Alberu's sudden action.
He asked back.
"Are you curious, your highness?"
"Yes."
Alberu had no hesitation in his response. Cale turned his side, so he could face Alberu again. Alberu still had his hand around his wrist.
Cale looked towards the wrist held by Alberu, but didn't move it away. He was just looking at the sight. Alberu followed his glaze and quickly took his hand off his wrist.
Alberu pulled back and Cale followed Alberu lead. He pulled back, moving his head to look at him.
Cale studied him, no, his expression.
Well, wouldn't him explaining basically be him confessing? His highness isn't usually one to ask follow up questions like this. But if Alberu had been in his position, he would've been quite curious of the why's too.
Was it to lessen his worry? Was it to lessen his hurt when he thought about it?
...No, he feels like he could handle all that. He's been handling all the emotions surrounding Alberu quite well.
'...'
This might be even harder than any of the enemies he went up against until this point.
Could he tell him? Could those words even reach his lips? Could it leave his lips?
He felt this way towards him for a long time. Even while he didn't know it, nor understand it, he liked Alberu.
He knew he thought about confessing a lot. He thought of every situation he could dream of, what could good well and would could go terribly wrong. And more than anything, he thought about Alberu a whole lot.
Alberu this. Alberu that.
He opened his mouth and closed it. He then opened it again.
"It's something personal. It's nothing you need to worry about. Just think of it as dongsaeng worrying about their hyung."
"Who I romance is something personal?"
"...Ah."
Cale really dug himself an even deeper hole. Seriously, what was wrong with him?! If he keeps speaking, he really will confess. He should just keep his mouth shut from now on.
"......"
"..."
Cale really did shut his mouth, something may go wrong if he continued. He didn't say anything and just stared.
Alberu stared back at him and didn't say anything too.
Though, he almost let out a soft sigh.
Was what he was thinking really it? Was that really it? Was he really so blind?
Alberu and Cale truly were people who similar, but different. Who could argue against it, exactly?
He called out to Cale informally again. But there was something different about it.
"You... really..."
The calling was so soft that Cale almost jumped up. He looked straight into Alberu eyes and his own eyes begin to shake. There was so much adoration in those eyes that Cale found himself wanting to react before he could think.
He turned away.
"...You're not playing fair, your highness."
"Haha, is it supposed to be fair? You weren't playing fair either."
To even know before saying it, Cale and Alberu knew what the other had in mind before even saying it.
And that, that was quite humorous.
He tried to hold it together, but Cale lips started to tremble and his heard started to hurt. It was as if his heart was being squeezed inside his chest from the inside out.
Bum. Bump. Ba-bum.
Thump.
Bum. Bum.
It kept going faster and faster. Did Alberu hear it too?
Of course, Alberu heart was beating fast and loud in correlation, his heart sounded just the same as Cale.
They just didn't know it.
Still, barely hearing himself think, Cale looked up at the ceiling. He was thinking of the direction the conversation was going, it was truly unexpected situation.
Alberu was always the unexpected variable in all this. He didn't exactly know how he should act when it came down to these certain situations, and he never considered these situations coming to life either.
'...It's a bit too much for him.'
He needs to endure it. Cale tried to endure, or suppress the emotion swirling through and within his body.
Well, he had to turned back eventually. He did have to face the consequences in the situation he placed himself in. See, his lips already stop trembling. His head turned downward, and Alberu glaze was still pressing down at him.
He became a bit self conscious.
"...Don't look at me like that."
"Ha?? Look at you like what, Cale?"
Alberu acted oblivious and Cale saw through that act.
Cale clicked his tongue.
"That look... it's...."
If that looked continued, Cale would need to leave premises immediately.
Alberu showed that sun-like smile on his face, and Cale needed to ignore the thump thump thump that became even louder.
"...Anyways, how else am I supposed to take a look like that?"
"What if it's exactly how you're supposed to take it?
"...You...."
The second those words left Alberu's mouth, something inside Cale snapped. Cale felt the need accepted that 'challenge,' just exactly as he should. Where exactly was this leading? No, where would it lead?
This really was the Crown Prince, soon to be ruler of the Roan, alright.
"Is that so?"
Step.
He was the one who stepped closer this time, unlike Alberu. He was the closest he ever been to him.
Alberu still had a smile that was impossibly radiant, and Cale held his hand out towards him. Obviously, he didn't even know what he was doing. He was inexperienced when it came down to romantic relationships. All he did know was he wanted to touch him.
He touch his the back of his hand and Alberu’s hand had moved. His palm was placed beneath his. It was definitely awkward placement, but their hands moved a little bit to be intertwined. It wasn't how people traditionally did it, but it was fine in their case.
Cale squeezed their hands, and Alberu squeezed back.
'It's this easy? Wow.'
He thought all the change of events were unanticipated, but not unwelcoming.
They were pretty much the same height, so it was easy to look him in the eye. If all this has happened, wouldn't it be fine for him to say it today? The Alberu he knew wasn't one to play around about these things.
He tilted his head.
'...Mm, well.'
"Hey, Alberu."
He called out to Alberu. He said his name without using his highness, or any pretexts. They were still close to each other, close enough their faces could be touching.
"...I really like you, you know?"
Very much. Cale liked him a lot. It was easier to say it than what he expected it to be, but he said like instead of love which probably contributed to it being easier.
He'll say it one day. He'll replace like with love.
He saw Alberu's eyes slightly widened, like he didn't expect him to say it.
Cale also saw him unfairly, yes unfairly, smile and he felt Alberu's hand rubbed the back of his thumb. Oh, give Cale some mercy.
Alberu immediately replied to Cale.
"...You really are a shocking bastard. No, Cale, I like you too."
Cale mouth twitched and turned upwards. His lips were turning into a crescent moon, but he didn't stop it this time.
Alberu didn't say love either, but Cale was more than fine with that.
"Really?"
"Really."
'Hmm.'
What should they do?
It would probably take a while before Cale could see Alberu in person again. He had to go to the Central Plains. There were ways he could contact Alberu through the device the God of Death gave him, but it's different than meeting him in person.
He looked down at Alberu's lips, and looked back upward to his face.
If he were to assume, based on what he knew, Alberu is pretty inexperienced too?
Cale pulled in Alberu closer, and Alberu followed through. Alberu was feeling exponentially happy, and realized something based on Cale's expression.
"Ah."
Alberu nodded his head.
Both Cale and Alberu closed the distance between them, they started moving closer until their mouths were able to reach each other. Cale's tilted his head for more access and a better angle.
Bump. Thump. Ba-Bump. His heart wouldn't stop.
Of course, he couldn't blame it.
Their lips touched and finally, they were kissing.
As Cale thought, Alberu was inexperienced as he was. When their lips touched, it wasn't necessarily awkward, they just didn't know what to do. There was an uncertainty in the way their mouths pressed, as if waiting for the next step.
But then Alberu moved his head to deepen the angle, which allowed for Cale to become more comfortable. It all started with a gentle peck before their lips started moving. He was the one to initiate the movements to explore Alberu's mouth. Alberu seemed startled, and he could soon feel Alberu's clumsily matching him.
It was chaotic and messy, but it definitely fit them.
Soon, their lips separated and Cale moved away quickly. Their hands separated due to him moving away.
"...mm, okay."
His first kiss. And it was Alberu.
'...'
He turned his face away from Alberu and Alberu was baffled. Cale started walking over to the couch. He was obviously doing what he was going to do before Alberu grabbed him by the wrist.
Though, Cale did peek at him once before making it to his destination. Alberu did see something that was really unheard of when you regard Cale's character.
He would usually carry a stoic expression, but for that moment, there was something else to that expression.
Mm.
What was noticeable, was that those cheeks of his were a bit dusty with pink.
Alberu started thinking.
'...Is he embarrassed? No, maybe that was part of it.....'
Soon, Alberu could hear something on top of his thoughts now.
Munch. Chew.
The only sound that was present around the room was Cale munching on cookies.
So ridiculously Cale like, even after all that.
Hearing that munching, he came to think what that expression must've been for.
'...Cale was pleased? Wasn't he?'
"Crazy bastard."
Alberu said that out loud, but he had a ridiculously fond smile on his face. Cale kept chewing on the cookies on the table near the couch.
'...These cookies really are good.'
Cale had an another thought.
'These cookies, heh, isn't the Crown Prince truly wonderful?'
"Hehe."
Of course, he laughed.
Some of the ancient powers got a bit loud:
— Hahaha! Cale did it! He confessed, we should congratulate him!
— Oh, he did, who knew?!
— Come on guys, they match! Who else other than Cale and Alberu?
—...You all, really? Let's just be quiet for now.
—...